PLAY The Official 'Just Because' Humor Thread

Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
This is one of my personal favorites.


Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter".

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars -- and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars -- and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
 
thompson

thompson

Certa Bonum Certamen
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Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
This is one I got from an old friend. It'll take a bit of thinking, but I thought it was funny.

There was a Catholic priest who fancied himself something of a prodigy at golf. He'd go out and play every few days, as his schedule permitted, and he'd gotten pretty good at the game.

One day, he's out playing, and while he's on the third hole, someone else steps over to him and asks if he'd like to play for a little higher stakes, maybe $10 a hole. The priest, who figures that he's doing pretty well at the game, agrees. The other player turns out to be much better than he is, and pretty soon, the priest is down $150.

So at the end of the game, the priest goes for his wallet, and the other guy looks at him and says "I have a bit of a confession to make. I've been playing this game for a long time now, so I really kind of hustled you a bit."

The priest says "Well, that's handy, because I'm in a position to take your confession, so to speak. I'm a priest down at St. Andrews."

The guy goes ashen for a moment and apologizes, and tries to give the money back.

The priest says "No, you taught me a lesson about humility, and I thank you for it. I was starting to think I was unbeatable at this game. But if you're still feeling badly about things, come on by the church on Sunday, leave a bit of your winnings in the poor box."

The priest then glares at the guy and says "And if you bring your parents by, I'll marry them while I'm at it."
 
AlaskaSue

AlaskaSue

North to the Future
Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking tea and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it .....pull myself together
 
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