So very very sorry to hear this, anney!! Big cyber (((hugs!!!))) to you and your granddaughters!! I will be lifting all of you up in prayers!! Praying that God will give each of you the strength you need, the peace you crave, and the understanding you want. May He enfold you and your precious granddaughters in His everloving arms!!
I can’t imagine a parent having to endure this. Lean on the Lord and he will get you through this time. It’s part if God’s ultimate plan and no matter what thoughts are rushing through your mind right now you didn’t fail him in any way.