Moon Base Oz to Planet Cotopaxi...come in Cotopaxi, over...
Cotopaxi here...just got done bulldozing one airlock and welding another permanently shut...excuse me for one second...
( thanks Chin Ho, Sum Ting Wong, Wei Too Low and Hop Sing, great welding job guys. Nice touch there throwing the bag of hot dog flavored fortune cookies into the airlock to trap Alien Dave. Bwhahahaha! What an idiot! Kineshewa and Bones and Nachos ).
Okay, Cotopaxi is back...had to take care of my Chinese welders...they love me long time...go ahead with your update, over.
Okay Cotopaxi...Well we’ve got some Good news and some bad news for you.
First the bad news. Wuhan is back and he is meaner than a three headed tick infested Venusian wart hog with bad breath and a lisp. (Snorth...Snorth...)
Now for the good news. PIC Gary and I will fly our 1930s state of the art sparks and smoke belching space ships each carrying secret agents to take out Wuhan the irritable.
PIC Gary will Command Oz Force One and will have aboard none other than the one and only Flash Gordon! Hey Merciless, remember this guy? If you don’t, you soon will.
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And I will pilot Oz Force Two and bring to the last roundup for Wuhan the most feared and menacing superhero of them all...the purple tighted 1960s Batman!
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He strikes fear into the souls of bad guys everywhere and reeks of...well, how can I say it politely...BATS. But who better to help take down the father of the Bat Soup Flu other than the Batman!
Unfortunately Robin the Boy Wonder split his tights (cheap, made in China) while dancing to the Macarena with Batgirl in the Batcave (Holy Earworm Batman!) Since we can’t have Robin zooming around the universe without any pants, Batman is going to bring along agent J from Men in Black to form a new and improved Dynamic Duo of Doom. And agent J is wearing a black suit that includes pants and not tights.
PIC Gary and I with our dream team of Truth, Justice and the American way will rendezvous at space station Goatmeal and join our forces to begin the final countdown (Holy earworm, Batman!) to once and for all take out Wuhan the belligerent.
When we’re done with him we’ll make he will wish he was back in his hospital bed in Mongo General drinking fish tank cleaner Mojitos, munching on Pelosian stink bugs and enjoying movie night sexy time with nurse Corona whispering sweet nothings to her tentacles during intermissions.
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I can just see his intergalactic debauchery now...Nurse Corona, “Oh Wuhan, you sure know how to pick the flicks to get the chicks, don’t you, you dirty old Ruler of the Universe. Now whisper what you said to me last last time into this tentacle...no not that one this one right here.”
Wuhan the Petulant Planetary Pustule of Pain and his days of lockdowns, quarantines, social distancing and shortages of toilet paper that he has inflicted upon Planet Earth are about to be over.
Cotopaxi...your job is to keep Alien Dave locked up. Since he’s gone rouge (and putrid) we can’t take a chance of him escaping and joining forces with Wuhan. His weapons grade stench alone would be overwhelming and jeopardize our final victory over Wuhan. Just keep the gold headed freak locked up and NO MORE HOTDOGS and for goodness sakes wean him of the Bushs baked beans. Otherwise you’ll be looking at at a Event Horizon of flatulence that will make Chernobyl look like a kids birthday party at a Chuck e Cheese.
Also, you just might to want to prepare another airlock in the Gitmo wing of your facility just in case we have to drop off a very special visitor right after the Mother of all Interplanetary battles.
We blast off on Monday (Flash has a previous scheduled personal event on Sunday with Dale Arden and it doesn’t involve any social distancing if you know what I mean and I think you do ).
We will contact you upon our arrival at Space Station Goatmeal to finalize our battle plan...and then we will strike!
Captain Al, over and out.