Kara and Heidi ate dinner at the big table in the breakroom of the training building. It was simple stuff mostly out of the pantry down there; rice with a hamburger patty and a fried egg on top. The most important thing they did, at least in Heidi’s mind, was talk.
“I used to sit for hours, talking with Christian. I had read a lot on religion, but he not only knew a lot on the subject, he could make it make sense. He showed me how the Nordic religion wasn’t in conflict with the Christian religion, as long as you looked at the details and the timelines.”
“He sounds like he was a brilliant man.” Heidi wasn’t sure where to steer the conversation, but she knew talking was better than not, it seemed.
“He was. When he died, it tore me apart.” Kara paused. “Both physically and mentally.” “Bekka and Garen…..they have been the only ones who have been in my corner since then for the longest time. The only ones who haven’t left or died, that is.”
“They are the only ones other than Christian who’ve proven they love me for me and don’t want to change me or want something from me.”
The room was quiet for some time. Heidi knew from watching her father talk to his parishioners as well as her own experience, sometimes quiet is what is needed. Soon Kara was talking again.
“The doctors said I should have died that day with the IED. The docs who met us at the field hospital were surprised I was still alive, but figured I would die on the way to Germany. The docs in Germany weren’t sure how I got to them alive. Sometimes I wonder if I did. Every day since, I feel like I’m on borrowed time, on time I’ve stolen.”
Kara looked over at the half dozen liquor bottles on top of the cabinet. Heidi saw the stare, when she looked and saw them she understood. She also saw Kara didn’t make a move towards them.
“Was it to numb the pain of him being gone?” Heidi finally asked.
“No, it was to feel something, anything, anything at all. After I was out, I had nowhere to belong, no one to belong with. I hope he didn’t see how bad it got then.”
“For me, it was to try and kill the thoughts that I might have been able to save my friends who died, if only I was there.” Heidi said.
“I have a few of those too.” Kara said.
The room was quiet for several long minutes until Kara spoke again.
“But, hey! You have a hell of a daughter, and you have Doug.”
“My daughter is probably the only reason I’m still alive. As for having Doug, we are just friends.” Heidi tried to deflect.
“Don’t sell him short, and don’t pass this up! He would be great for you, and it would be great for Emilia!” Kara pushed.
“Gee, how cliché! Sleeping with the boss!” Heidi spat her comment out.
“What boss? He is your partner. His daughter thinks you would be good with him, your daughter thinks you would be good for him, so what’s the glitch?” Kara smiled, happy to have the lens pointed elsewhere now.
Heidi looked at Kara, a flash of a new expression on her face. One she hadn’t seen on Heidi before. Heidi looked distraught.
“What if he said no? Where would that leave me? Where would that leave Emilia?”
“Heidi, don’t pass up this chance you have. You love him. Don’t you. Besides, you have plenty of friends and places to catch you..” Kara said in a flat matter of fact tone.
“Maybe, I think so. I don’t know.” Heidi looked a bit confused now.
“I would give almost anything for another hour with Christian. As it is, I will have to wait to see him at Valhalla in heaven. Don’t waste precious time on maybe.” Kara said with an air of conviction.
“After the new group gets here, I’ll consider it.” Heidi said. She wasn’t sure how the conversation about Kara’s problems morphed into her dating Doug. She will talk to Emilia later and make sure everything is ok before she did anything else though.