ComCamGuy
Remote Paramedical pain in the ass
Amber was surprised when she saw Sabine standing in the parking lot, waiting for her. She rolled down the window as she pulled up next to her.
“Kinda surprised to see you still here. The way you talked earlier, I thought you were doing an Amelia Earhart on us.” Amber quipped.
“It was tempting. You have no idea how easy it would have been.” Amber noticed Sabine’s speech, her patterns and accent were different. But Sabine kept talking. “But I decided I didn’t want to give up on having friends. Paige says they love me for me, even though they don’t know anyone other than the Sabine they met and have loved with. I need to be that person for them. To do that, I need to nail the lid down on all the rest of my baggage. I thought I had, but I need help, otherwise I’ll just have to keep running, never getting close to anyone.” This statement seemed to take a lot of energy for Sabine to say. Amber knew such realizations were hard to accept and harder to acknowledge.
“So, are you saying you want my help?”
“Yes. I can’t do this alone. I’ve tried.” She paused for a moment, once again unsure or hesitant. “Look, can I drive? I need the distraction.”
“Sure.” Amber got out of the driver’s seat and went around to the passenger side. Once she climbed in, Sabine started forward and was talking again.
“To help me put the lid back on, unfortunately you will need to know everything. I don’t want to tell it to you, I don’t really want to discuss it in depth, dissect the details and so forth. I am looking for help with things to help keep it peacefully slumbering so it doesn’t pop up and ruin someone’s wedding or bar mitzvah.”
“So how am I supposed to know without you telling it to me?” Amber was intrigued. She was sure Sabine had a solution.
Sabine held up a thumb drive. “With this.”
“What is ‘this’” Amber took the thumb drive.
“This is one of three copies outside of Federal evidence. This is everything. I’m not even supposed to have it. When you see what’s on here, you will understand. Don’t show it to anyone. Here’s the other thing. Silas knows some of what’s on here second hand, but not much. I give you, my doctor, permission to discuss it with him, but please don’t show the contents to him. I don’t want the ‘me’ in there to change how he looks at me, how he thinks of me. That’s the person I’m trying to close the door on and move forward.”
Amber looked at the thumb drive. She knew in her heart this was a Pandora’s Box. Once opened, who knew what would come out?
“Are you sure?”
Sabine’s eyes didn’t leave the road as she replied.
“Absolutely not, but I have no one else in the world to talk to who knew me before the horror, and the only one I trust that knew me when it was happening isn’t here. Besides, he has already done so much, but he is on the other side of the country. I would love to go back to the ‘me’ before all of it happened, but that will never be. Instead, I have to focus on only being ‘Sabine.’ There’s a gravestone in a cemetery in New England with Jeanne’s name on it. I need her to stay there. Are you still willing to help me?”
“Still your rules?”
“Yup.”
“How will Silas know he can talk to me about this?”
“Show him the dog tag attached to the thumb drive. Once he sees it, he will know it was from me. After he sees the tag, I want the tag back. It’s the one I got issued when I first came into the military and I’m still attached to it after all these years.”
Amber reached into the back seat and retrieved her small laptop. In for a penny, in for a pound. She opened a new folder on the desktop and titled it ‘Alice’.
“Ok, Sabine, Down the rabbit hole I go. I’m in.” She looked up from the laptop to Sabine and was startled by her reply.
“I don’t know how to thank you, and I’m sorry.” The smile on her face was both heartfelt and sad.
“Kinda surprised to see you still here. The way you talked earlier, I thought you were doing an Amelia Earhart on us.” Amber quipped.
“It was tempting. You have no idea how easy it would have been.” Amber noticed Sabine’s speech, her patterns and accent were different. But Sabine kept talking. “But I decided I didn’t want to give up on having friends. Paige says they love me for me, even though they don’t know anyone other than the Sabine they met and have loved with. I need to be that person for them. To do that, I need to nail the lid down on all the rest of my baggage. I thought I had, but I need help, otherwise I’ll just have to keep running, never getting close to anyone.” This statement seemed to take a lot of energy for Sabine to say. Amber knew such realizations were hard to accept and harder to acknowledge.
“So, are you saying you want my help?”
“Yes. I can’t do this alone. I’ve tried.” She paused for a moment, once again unsure or hesitant. “Look, can I drive? I need the distraction.”
“Sure.” Amber got out of the driver’s seat and went around to the passenger side. Once she climbed in, Sabine started forward and was talking again.
“To help me put the lid back on, unfortunately you will need to know everything. I don’t want to tell it to you, I don’t really want to discuss it in depth, dissect the details and so forth. I am looking for help with things to help keep it peacefully slumbering so it doesn’t pop up and ruin someone’s wedding or bar mitzvah.”
“So how am I supposed to know without you telling it to me?” Amber was intrigued. She was sure Sabine had a solution.
Sabine held up a thumb drive. “With this.”
“What is ‘this’” Amber took the thumb drive.
“This is one of three copies outside of Federal evidence. This is everything. I’m not even supposed to have it. When you see what’s on here, you will understand. Don’t show it to anyone. Here’s the other thing. Silas knows some of what’s on here second hand, but not much. I give you, my doctor, permission to discuss it with him, but please don’t show the contents to him. I don’t want the ‘me’ in there to change how he looks at me, how he thinks of me. That’s the person I’m trying to close the door on and move forward.”
Amber looked at the thumb drive. She knew in her heart this was a Pandora’s Box. Once opened, who knew what would come out?
“Are you sure?”
Sabine’s eyes didn’t leave the road as she replied.
“Absolutely not, but I have no one else in the world to talk to who knew me before the horror, and the only one I trust that knew me when it was happening isn’t here. Besides, he has already done so much, but he is on the other side of the country. I would love to go back to the ‘me’ before all of it happened, but that will never be. Instead, I have to focus on only being ‘Sabine.’ There’s a gravestone in a cemetery in New England with Jeanne’s name on it. I need her to stay there. Are you still willing to help me?”
“Still your rules?”
“Yup.”
“How will Silas know he can talk to me about this?”
“Show him the dog tag attached to the thumb drive. Once he sees it, he will know it was from me. After he sees the tag, I want the tag back. It’s the one I got issued when I first came into the military and I’m still attached to it after all these years.”
Amber reached into the back seat and retrieved her small laptop. In for a penny, in for a pound. She opened a new folder on the desktop and titled it ‘Alice’.
“Ok, Sabine, Down the rabbit hole I go. I’m in.” She looked up from the laptop to Sabine and was startled by her reply.
“I don’t know how to thank you, and I’m sorry.” The smile on her face was both heartfelt and sad.
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