#264
In the silence laying thick in the living room, Clora picked up her Bible and turned to Psalm 103, and started reading aloud. One of her favorites, her voice grew stronger as words from the ages poured forth, assuring them all that God was in charge and would help them.
By assuring her children that God was making her and Dad strong in their time of grief, Clora passed the tools of living in faith on to help guide them all. The reminder, given in such a calm voice full of love, assured that John wouldn't be forgotten and they would be reunited in heaven.
Joy put her coat on and walked across the road to sit on the bench; the breeze blowing small white caps on the gray green, chilled water. The dark grey clouds, promising more rain.
It suited her mood. Being with this family as they handled loosing their child, was a painful and stark reminder of what she had lost over the years. Lemmie was the only sister left alive, the rest of her siblings had passed away as had her parents.
Joy had lost two babies before they were born; the children wanted and waited for, and it was not to be. Joy didn't know how long she was lost in the musings of the past, but it was almost dark when Warren came across the road to sit with her.
They made small talk and eventually Joy got so cold she needed to go in. As she stood up, Warren abruptly asked her why she had come outside that afternoon to hug him. He sounded mad, angry that she had touched him. He was demanding an answer from her and Joy had to swallow hard before she could reply.
"For a moment I needed to pretend that someone cared about me and my hurting heart. I'm sorry I offended you." Joy walked away, the house and her room a place of private refuge. Joy packed quietly. In the wee hours of the next morning, she loaded her car and left. She and Clora had hugged a goodbye. They were both strong women, God would see them through.
Warren had spent most of a sleepless night, and when he could finally close his eyes, he slept so hard he missed Joy's leaving. He didn't know what to think about her. He had been shocked when she hugged him as she had done; he didn't know why and he didn't want to share his grief with anyone. He especially didn't want to be touched. Her answer was unsatisfactory and revealed more need on her part, than he wanted to get involved with.
Since she had left, Warren decided she was as uncomfortable admitting that need, as he had been in hearing it.
The Linderman clan made it through a whole year. The winter bad, the spring glorious, the summer more hot and humid than usual, and the beginning of fall the anniversary of John's death.
Clora and Mark had an empty space in their heart, but they had children in the present that need love, care and guidance.
Cody had come to visit during a rare, late summer's week's break from school. Lemmie looked at her Grandson and marveled at the man he had become. West Point was difficult, and Cody worked harder than he ever thought possible; but Mark had shook his hand and given his protégé a 'good work' and paid for another year.
Practically over night, Milo changed from a teen to a young man in the last year of high school. Milo was all business as he studied and worked at absorbing Mark's lessons at home. Milo, after many discussions with Mark about his future, asked to go to West Point and Mark agreed. The machinery was set in motion to get a congressional recommendation to the school.
Robert was next. The young man a junior in school, but the same age as Milo. Robert was very practical when Mark asked if he would like to attend West Point, offering the same chance to the Thompson that was so very much a Linderman.
"No Sir," Robert had declined. "My poor start has left me so far behind in schooling, I wouldn't be able to do the studies. I would like to become a Marine and put myself into that line of work, while I figure out what I want to do. I've thought about it, and I like the structure they provide."
Robert had well thought out reasons and a fair and concise understanding of his capabilities. Mark approved and told him so; stressing that Robert was using good, critical thinking skills and he would do well.
Teddy was a junior in high school, leaning towards attending MIT when he graduated. His math ability was a capacity so great it went unmeasured. At his parents insistence, Teddy was as good in the rest of his studies and an Olympic bound sprinter and long distance runner.
Tess and Benny were freshmen in high school. Tess, an astonishing contradiction of intelligence and skill at every level she was challenged. Tess had one goal. She was going to become a doctor. John's death had such a profound affect on her, she carried this burning need to help children stricken in the same manner.
Benny was the mechanic. Anything thing he took apart went back together in excellent working condition. An inventor, a tinkerer, a young man that wanted to farm the earth the Linderman family owned and bring forth it's bounty. Benny also wanted to be a minister, and he took night courses to enhance his desire.
Gary was still a harum-scarum kid. His mind went in a hundred different directions, until Clora and Mark looked for and got a diagnosis of ADHD, and with a strict regimen of food, sleep and exercise, improved his response to school.
Lou was the animal man. His association with Blossom gave him the desire to become a vet, and he worked hard at his schooling.
Sam was the dark horse. So calm and easy going, it seemed nothing motivated his interest, like the older kids had picked their favorites. Clora and Mark watched, allowing Sam the freedom to be what he wanted to be.
TJ struggled in school, and Clora and Mark understood he may never be capable of caring for himself. But they patiently taught what he needed to know and set him on the path to independence as he worked through the steps of growing up.
Then there was Luke and Liz. Mark had to shake his head at their budding musical genius children. Mark and Clora bought a piano, and the almost five year olds played classical scores by memory.
Clora, who laughed and said she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, listened as they practiced and read her bible as comfort.
Mark and Clora had been married fifteen years.
So much had happened during that time, Clora gave thanks for the guidance sent by God.
As late summer brought the bounty in from the garden to be put in jars, Clora and Mark listened with amusement to grumpy Warren as he was irritated with their laid back life.
Mark suggested his father might take a trip to the big city, to see what was happening, and Warren griped he didn't know where to go. Mark suggested Chicago with a straight face, and made it almost all the way down the hall before he started laughing.
Lemmie and Hank worked and made plans to visit Joy over Thanksgiving.
Mark had the barn, machine shed, and shop combination almost done, when he got a real itch to go see his valley. The Prince had agreed to exchange the valley for Walter's farm, so the paperwork was finally finished and Mark was deep down satisfied.
Clora had watched as Mark's interest doubled itself every day and she sent her husband/pirate off to look for buried treasure. Mark was totally convinced that Pete's share of the Rhodium had to be in the upper cave. As they were responsible for unimaginable amounts of higher education money, Mark talked and talked until he got Wayne to agree to go along. Wayne took comp time for a week and the men went to the airport with big grins.
Millie brought Joey and baby Abraham Scott to visit the morning the men left. "Talk about a couple of teen agers headed out on a lark," she had complained good naturedly, "I don't think Wayne slept ten minutes last night."
Clora laughed. "Mark assures me that he is done with the excitement of his former life and that he doesn't miss the adrenalin, did you see him run out of here? Helga used to complain about Karl's 'indecent haste' and I know what she meant."
"Speaking of that, have you had any more problems concerning the 'princess' stuff?" Millie was curious.
"No, not really. You weren't there when Mark was introduced to his 'supposed' mother at Applewood Farm, and then later, Warren showed Mark a picture of his mother, they certainly weren't the same. That's a loose end that has been floating around in my mind for a long time, and I don't know where to put it. The same with the feeling about Sylvia Suzanne, my mother. I can feel she is still alive and somewhere on the west coast, but that's all that comes through." Clora took a sip of coffee. "Are you going to let me hold that precious baby? It's been a long time since I've had my hands on him."
"Well let's see, today is Thursday and I thought you held him after church on Sunday?" Millie teased.
"I did, a long time ago." Clora teased right back.
They had found a small Community church half way between where Clora lived and where Millie lived. They attended together as a family and the affiliation with a regular minister made both of them happy. Abe had been baptized, and the kids that wanted to sing, raised their voices to God in harmony.
The only person who wouldn't go with them was Warren. He sat in the empty house and was content to listen to the silence. His mind wasn't easy to turn off however, and over and over it replayed the words that Joy had said. 'I needed someone to pretend they cared for my hurting heart.'
It got so the continuously replayed words cut deep; and Warren had made two stealthy trips to Chicago to see her. Joy had been gone working both times, and Warren was left with a very dissatisfied feeling. It wasn't the first time he had missed the boat concerning women, and he wasn't sure he had the right to try again.
Warren had asked Lemmie if Joy was back working for the 'business', and Joy had replied, 'yes she was.' and went to do something else, leaving Warren standing in the kitchen feeling foolish.