Well, I staged an early morning patrol to secure essential Martini and Bloody Mary supplies at 8:00 am today at our local mega-grocer, Woodman's, in a Metro Milwaukee suburb.
Sunday, 8:00 am. How bad could it possibly be?
Idled the car for 15 minutes waiting for a coveted handicapped parking spot to become available. Fine, I hadn't cranked up the Baronmobile in eight days, so at least the battery got charged. BTW - Yes, the Baronmobile is red. "Red Baron" used to be my CB radio "handle" back in the 70's because I always drove a red vehicle.
Anyway,
I deploy my surgical face mask, wash down the electric scooter with some sanitary wipes, and venture off to the vast liquor department. "The largest in Wisconsin."
I secure quantities of adult beverages and motor over to the checkout. Wow, nobody in line at the liquor checkout. I guess the winos are still sleeping it off. Good call on my part! I notice a new Plexiglas panel in front of the cash register. Fine, I wipe off my hands before and after using the keypad.
Since it doesn't look too crowded, I am really feeling my Wheaties and decide to venture into the mega-mart and secure a few frozen bags of loneliness, nasal spray, sanitizing wipes, mouthwash, the latest issues of Cuban Booty Party and College Cheerleader Life, etc. Typical old geezer stuff.
Feeling pretty good about myself for getting so much accomplished so early in the morning.
Then my little world came crashing down all around me.
Woodman's has always been absolutely notorious for not investing in enough employees. They have twenty regular checkout lanes along with ten or so self-checkout lanes. You are lucky if there are three cashiers working. Need help in the store? Go jump in the lake. The regular checkout lanes do -not- use conveyors. Instead the cashier has to manually reach into your cart, take out one or two items, scan it and repeat the process over and over and over and over again until the cart is finally empty. I know of no other grocery store that uses this system.
Things got worse. For the first time ever, a -single- line was created and you had to wait until a checkout lane was available. Apparently it was some ill conceived attempt at social distancing. Fine, but the single line extended all the way to the back of the store and -nobody- was exercising one iota of social distancing at all while in line.
Involuntarily, a hearty Foxtrot Oscar sprang from my lips as I jettisoned my non-liquors items (already paid for) into a nearby cooler and sped off to the parking lot.
I am done with that place. I'm going to resume ordering food online from Aldi's and other grocers.
