Just got myself out of one of those situations 2 years ago. You can do this.
You have a heart if mercy and he knows it. They all know it. They have a talent for locking on to those people they know they can get to. It may not be a conscience talent but they have it.
“ But I luvvv you!!!, please just ONE more chance (like you have never given him one before) I swear, ill never (fill in the blank) again.
or Sometimes if they peading does not work then they switch to semi truth bombs, “ well you’re not perfect either, I forgave you that ONE time, you care more about (fillin the blank) than you do me, or us, or whatever“
He is toxic, so toxic that you have to drink to cover up the pain. Because that is what it is, pain and guilt. And they are experts on throwing that around like candy. And because you are merciful you buy into it And he KNOWS it. Like radar he knows it.
And the while time he was with you he probably, spent all your money plus his own, destroyed anything you liked or loved because inward he was jelly, demanded your every waking moment be spent with him, or in his sight, was jellise of all your friends,or your one friend, maybe even accused you of wanting to sleep with the UPS guy (because he was banging anything that moved) he was exhausting, he took the best for himself and gave you the leftovers. Exepcted you to wait in the car on a hot or cold day while he shot the shit with whomever inside, (ill be right back) one hour later. Spent your last dime on another set of boots, or fishing gear, or whatever he thought his current must have need was. Because its always a “must have damnit and why cant you understand that.” He would sleep when ever he liked, including thru any appointments you had. But you better be awake to go with him to any boring thing he had to go to. Forget any help around the house, but you better come out side and help him do whatever, or the opposite and maybe he helped a little around the house (just enough to say he did) and let the big things around the house go.
I could go on and on. But you get the picture, he is a narcisistic, personality disoriented, toxic human who has crossed your path in life and has latched onto you like a barnacle on a ship. Not impossible to get rid of but not going anythwere unless you activly and with a lot of work pull him off of your heart. And he will pull at any exaggerated truth to get you back, he will do anything to get you back. He will plead, grovel, beg, yell, scream, accuse, then go back to sorry I didnt mean that, beg and plead some more, always with the promise of it will be better this time, or you are weak and you know you need me argument. They use all those or a combination of.
Ask yourself this, why would you take someone back who has to use any of those things? Why didn’t he do those things the first 10 times this came up in the relationship? Because it takes a merciful heart person many, many, many times to break away from these people. So you have been thru this scenario with him many times before.
Don’t do it. And just like how you have passed up many bottles these last 30 days, forcing yourself to walk by them and not pick one up, do the same with the emails. Don’t open them delete it, then go to your junk/ trash folder and delete it again. keep doing it until he stops sending them. Or if he is truly narcissistic psycotic he may never stop sending them. Because they are twisted like that, delete the email altogether and make a new one and don’t give it out except to immediate friends and family with the express instructions not to give it away.
And tell these people the truth of what he is like. Don’t sugar coat it to them because you keep convincing yourself he might change and you don’t want him to look bad to them when he comes back. You know, Just in case.
Stop kidding yourself. Admit it, he is NOT going to change, in fact he us incapable of change. You may find that hard to believe because anyone can change, but these people are so broken that short of a true interaction from God, no they cant be changed. That is like expecting a venomous snake not to inject poison or a scorpion not to sting. You knew what it was when you picked it up, but maybe you can love it enough, give it enough, carry it enough, and it will see the error of its ways and change. HORSE SHIT. It wont ever, ever, change short of a miracle of God. And that miracle from God needs to happen first before you would ever take him back. And it needs to make itself evident to all who know him for a looooonnng period of time, and even then some things will surface and have to be dealt with.
You got the energy and time for all that is written above? No you don’t, its so painful and exhausting that you have to drink to deal with it.
And that my friend is a toxic relation ship. He thrives while you die a little more each day. Dont do it. You look to God, and continue on your path of healing.
and if none of what I wrote helps then google narcissistic personality disorder symptoms.
I don’t know you, but I love you and you can do this... Hang in there.
