PLAY Funny Stuff Found on the Internet - REMINDER: POLITICAL HUMOR IS NOT ALLOWED ON THIS THREAD
- Thread starter packyderms_wife
- Start date
momma_soapmaker
Disgusted
THANK GOD it ends tonight!!!!
The only commercials that end tomorrow are the political ads. The Medicare supplementary insurance and car warranty commercials won’t.
ShadowMan
Designated Grumpy Old Fart
Terriannie
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Or, Camp Lejeune lawyers.
Texican
Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
day late
money? whats that?
Now I know we didn't have the same mother. Did we?
OMG... we were in CLOSE touch with our kids, but found that the severity of the offense determined how old they were when they finally told us!
It didn't come out until he was 34 that second son was racing my Subaru Impreza at a dirt track a few miles away... and winning. I discovered that when I mentioned I didn't know why the speedometer on that car went to 160, when it got pretty shaky at 110, he laughed and said, "oh, no! I hit 163 mph when I won a couple races. That car could move!"
You WHAT?!!
"Oh, you never heard that? I'd swear (his 1 year older brother-in-crime) told you about that! The summer you bought the car... I was 16!"
Oh. Great. Thank you, Lord, he survived. Thank you Lord he chose to become an automotive (now biomedical) engineer, and not a race car driver!
Summerthyme
LOL! When we were stationed in Japan, at Yokota Air Base, for some stupid reason, my girls needed to borrow my car while I drove theirs. One day, the younger daughter said, "Mom! Did you know your car can do 100 kph around the flight line?!!" I replied, "And how would YOU know?"
Not the new drug ads.
How is that funny?
THE MAYO!!!
greysage
On The Level
HAROLD CHUGS MAYONNAISE (Original)
Runtime 43 seconds.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5SFLFHLpeo
Runtime 43 seconds.
I’m honestly going to start deleting mayonnaise posts. Fair notice
momma_soapmaker
Disgusted
This is why we can't have anything nice, ya'll. 
What'th hell....mans
Ass….
momma_soapmaker
Disgusted
packyderms_wife
Neither here nor there.
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Don’t threaten him with a good time!It's a miracle you don't get whipped.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
I normally hate yellow mustard. When I was a kid say 10, there was nothing in the house but spam, cheddar cheese and yellow mustard. I fried the spam crisp and added a slice of cheese and some mustard. Wala a sandwich I can still eat to this day and my hubby just looks at me strangely. And the only thing I will use yellow mustard for.
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CaryC
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Why on God's Green Earth are you stopping at 6? You sick or something? I get that in my first pass.
medic38572
TB Fanatic
medic38572
TB Fanatic
medic38572
TB Fanatic
An elderly man comes into a restaurant. He orders a steak.
When it arrives, carefully cuts off a piece, wraps it in a napkin, and puts it in his pocket.
The owner of the restaurant comes over to his table.
“You’ve been coming in here for over 30 years. Every time, you do the same thing. You cut off a piece of steak and put it in your pocket. May I ask why you do that?”
The patron says, “Well, every week I come here to get out of the house and away from my nagging wife. And every week, she says the same thing:
I hope you choke on the first bite!”
When it arrives, carefully cuts off a piece, wraps it in a napkin, and puts it in his pocket.
The owner of the restaurant comes over to his table.
“You’ve been coming in here for over 30 years. Every time, you do the same thing. You cut off a piece of steak and put it in your pocket. May I ask why you do that?”
The patron says, “Well, every week I come here to get out of the house and away from my nagging wife. And every week, she says the same thing:
I hope you choke on the first bite!”
