You are 100% right about this. Absolutely, 100% correct! Between Husband one and Husband two, I had many first dates.
Without exception, when these men went on and on about their bitchy ex-wife, I asked them, “what attracted you to her in the first place?”
Their answer was always the same. They always said, “oh she was so beautiful. She was drop-dead gorgeous.“ Or sometimes they’d say, “when I was with her my mfriends were so envious.“
A 20th century sophist postulated that the real relationship men have when dating a woman is with OTHER men because it’s other men whose approval they seek. And it’s other men whose opinion they seek.
By the world standards, I am not an attractive woman. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m probably at four. I have beautiful eyes, great skin, nice body, good weight, and I am extraordinarily healthy. Professionally, I’ve had a lot of success in my career as a writer. Intellectually, I am a smart cookie. Financially, I am stable and sound.
And yet I have been rejected too many times to count at online dating sites and in real life. And then finally, more than five years after my husband’s death, I met a man that fell completely in love with the real me.
The man I am with now tells me that he is the happiest he’s ever been in his long life. He tells me over and over again that I am a real catch.
It’s kind of amazing to me how many times I’ve been rejected based on my below average looks.
It would’ve been so easy for me to become jaded and bitter and full of acrimony and anger. But there are a few things more unattractive than anger, bitterness, and distain for half the human race.
For the men here who despise women so completely (and it’s always the same few men), why not try seeing the good in women? Why not ask God to open your heart to love? Why not consider letting the dead past die a natural death? Why drag the ugly past into every single day?
Every single day, we have 101 reasons to be full of anger or to be full of love. Just as an experiment, why not try love?
Even if you don’t end up falling in love, I can’t help but think it would improve the quality of your life to let a little love and light into your heart.