POL Virginia father pays last child support payment in with 80,000 pennies, report says

Siskiyoumom

Siskiyoumom

Veteran Member
My dad had affairs, then met his soon to be Thai wife while deployed in 1966.
He flew back to Michigan, filed for divorce from my mom.
We were living in base housing in California.
Mom got the final divorce decree (she had no idea he had filed) and an eviction notice from base housing on the same day.
He was suppose to pay $250 ($50 per child), a month support for his five children with her. He never paid a penny. Ever.
She had no funds to pay for an attorney.
She did not qualify for his military pension even though they were married eighteen years.
They divorced before the legislature acted on protecting the spouses of military regards to pension protection.

Yes, folks do get get messed over in divorce settlements. Both the parents and children.

Thankfully as adults my dad and I mended our broken relationship. And for that I am ever so thankful.
 
20Gauge

20Gauge

TB Fanatic
ShadowMan said:
Well just try to survive on Negative NOTHING when a judge orders 125% of your GROSS pay be garnished for child support! Oh and while you're deployed overseas and can't defend yourself or have your day in court!! Thank God I was active duty and the military only allows half your net pay to be docked.

Took years of legal battles to get that stopped and ran through 4 lawyers. AND I still have to pay the BACK CHILD SUPPORT that was later found illegal, but the court refused to back date the overages to the date the damn shitte started. Oh and better still had to pay for CHILD DAYCARE on my youngest until he was 18 and nothing was wrong with him. A perfectly healthy kid. Wife totally poisoned my kids against me....nasty nasty beoatch!! Threw monkey wrenches in every effort I did to be a good father and actually tried to disallow me to get remarried a couple of years down the row...imagine that!

What was I guilty of? Being in the military and going to war (Desert Storm). After the war she wanted me to quit with less than 5 years to go until retirement. I said no......that's what started it. That and a bunch of hungry lawyers and crooked liberal judges.

My happiest day ever when I paid my last penny to that evil wench. Today even her own kids hate her and will have nothing to do with her. Evil evil evil. One good thing.....she didn't get a penny of my military retirement and benefits. She divorced me just UNDER the ten year requirement! Did her math wrong! Hee, hee, hee, hee!!

P.S. And when I tried to go for JOINT Custody I was told by the judge that I was an UNFIT father BECAUSE I WAS IN THE MILITARY!! No other reason....ALL military parents are UNFIT because they are in the military....WTF! One of my original lawyers actually had a friggen mental breakdown dealing with my case against the overwhelming prejudice and abuse of the California system and the judges.

Another lawyer I tried to hire actually told me flat out nothing he or I could do would allow me to win my case because I was an man, in the military and in the California courts. The "TRIPLE whammy", but he'd gladly take my money. That's how stacked the LIBERAL courts in Southern California are against men and especially the military.

Oh...and you'll love this. My Ex could afford excellent divorce/child support lawyers, because she FORGED my signature on the sale of our house and the judge REFUSED to hear that evidence! FRIGGEN REFUSED!! They can all FOAD as far as I'm concerned. Evil Bastards!
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Crap!

Did you go through Riverside County like I did? Except for the military part, I got basically the same response from my lawyer and that was in 1999.
 
Melodi

Melodi

Disaster Cat
There is another thing about the 800 pennies that might explain part of the apology, many banks won't take pennies anymore, especially not in bulk. A number of jurisdictions and businesses won't take them either, just because every year someone decides to try and pay their tax bill with a truckload full of them or something.

Even when banks will take the pennies they have all be rolled up in exact amounts and counted into those little cases (or this was the situation several years ago the last time someone I know had to deal with something like this).

It is entirely possible that he realized if he didn't show some "contrition" a judge might just void the payment and/or order him to spend days putting all those pennies in rolls so they could go to the bank (or face jail time).

I also suspect they are being donated to the women's shelter because having volunteered a bit in one, I know there are usually residents who are willing and able to help out any way they can in exchange for their place of refugee and can be drafted into spending a week or two putting 450 pounds of pennies into little rolls of 100 for the Center's bank account.

This is just a guess mind you, but an educated one based on my reading and my time as a waitress back when almost all tips were in change, and even back then the banks didn't like pennies and would only take your dimes and quarters if properly rolled up by you ahead of time. It used to be a weekly chore...
 
packyderms_wife

packyderms_wife

Neither here nor there.
Kathy in FL said:
Not necessarily. If the arrangement is made during mediation then it can be distributed however. Only if it is a court order support payment and some duress is involved, does it have to be made through the clerk. Now sometimes dads will do it that way to make sure they are covered and the woman can't lie. They sometimes also do it because there is a fee involved for the mother to receive the check.
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Here if the parent owing support isn't a dead beat then it's an automatic monthly with drawl from one checking account to the parent with the kids.
 
West

West

Senior
In California you are automatically considered a dead beat. They automatically then attach your wages, and that includes mandating your employer to collect said support and send it to the so called family support divisions. Also kill your credit rating, mine dropped 4 points at the beginning.

Oklahoma evidently the same way.

Then they will threating to take your licenses away for being even one month late.

Plus compounding interest. Disgusting.
 
hunybee

hunybee

Veteran Member
Blacknarwhal said:
And people wonder why so few are getting married today. They look at stories like this, and the realization that marriages' survivability rates are somewhere around a coin flip right now, and realize there are a LOT of potential failure points here.

I haven't so much as kissed a woman in better than 20 years, and even I'm wondering if I'm not better off.
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there really are wonderful men and women out there. truly. there is plenty of scary too, no doubt.

i have thought about if fezzik ever died. IF by some miracle, i were to find someone again and we decide to get married, i would insist on a prenup. a prenup, and a will made out for his kids or other family if he had no kids. nothing would go to me, nor my children. i would also insist that while dating, they would have to accept that i did not have much money, and he would not be paying for anything. he would have to accept that anything we did would have to be very inexpensive. there would be no trips while dating or lots of money spent because i could not afford it, and i would not accept them paying. if they could not accept the fact that i would not be going into debt to date them, and i would not allow them to pay, then i am not the woman for them, i guess.

it causes too many problems.

i never want anyone i care about to think i am only having anything to do with them for what they can give me or what i can get from them. i would not want his children to think i was a gold digger. i wouldn't want them to worry that everything of their father's would be lost. those are theirs. all of it. i would rather have peace and a good relationship. they can have everything. if we lived in his house, i would ask that i have enough time to find a place to live, and they can have the house. i really mean it. i would be sick if our life would be tarnished by fighting about any of that, or to have them think i didn't truly love and respect their father.

i would not want our lives to have that "edge" to it. to wonder if the person really wants you, or your money or security. the best gift i can give is to make sure they know i am with them for them and that i would never rake them over the coals.

not that i actually think i would find someone lol. but if it were to happen.
 
Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
hunybee said:
there really are wonderful men and women out there. truly. there is plenty of scary too, no doubt.
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The problem, of course, is there's no way to tell the scary from the wonderful. The truly scariest can look wonderful right up until the moment you're locked in.
 
hunybee

hunybee

Veteran Member
Blacknarwhal said:
The problem, of course, is there's no way to tell the scary from the wonderful. The truly scariest can look wonderful right up until the moment you're locked in.
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i have a question for you. maybe more than one lol

first let me say that i in NO way judge what your criteria would be, or things that would be deal breakers. each person has their own list of "no's", and that is ok. it is much better to know them before hand, i think.

i know about how old you are. would you date and/or marry someone with children? if no, would you want to have children with them? if no, would you put that in the prenup, or have a vasectomy to ensure that did not happen?
 
Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
hunybee said:
i know about how old you are. would you date and/or marry someone with children? if no, would you want to have children with them? if no, would you put that in the prenup, or have a vasectomy to ensure that did not happen?
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1. Lord no. That's several disasters waiting to happen.

2. Quite possibly. I've largely given up on the notion so having to reconsider it again in the face of it being possible is a bit unsettling.

3. The prenup would be massive, extensive, certified by multiple notaries, and probably ignored anyway in a divorce proceeding. I hear that's a problem these days.
 
F

Faroe

Un-spun
Blacknarwhal said:
1. Lord no. That's several disasters waiting to happen.

2. Quite possibly. I've largely given up on the notion so having to reconsider it again in the face of it being possible is a bit unsettling.

3. The prenup would be massive, extensive, certified by multiple notaries, and probably ignored anyway in a divorce proceeding. I hear that's a problem these days.
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Wait just a bit longer....her kids will be grown, she will be past menopause, she will her own assets and her own career. She will steal your heart before you have even noticed, and you will forget about ALL that stuff. :)
 
Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
Faroe said:
Wait just a bit longer....her kids will be grown, she will be past menopause, she will her own assets and her own career. She will steal your heart before you have even noticed, and you will forget about ALL that stuff. :)
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...uh huh. Will she come with a handful of magic beans, or just riding a unicorn?

Ah well...at least there's likely to be reward in heaven for dying alone and untouched.
 
Grounded Idealist

Grounded Idealist

Hope Always
Faroe said:
An honest mother would have said, that was a dumb ruling and an unnecessary amount of money. She could have returned what she didn't need. Yeah, child care is expensive, but the kid is 18! It has been a LONG time since she would have paid day-care.
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Child support goes toward ALL expenses related to raising the child, not just day care.

Ever feed a growing teenager? They put away some serious food.
 
et2

et2

Has No Life - Lives on TB
There’s a lot of dead beat mothers too. My mother left her family of three kids ages 5 and under. Father was a real jerk, I get that part. But … her kids weren’t, and aren’t. If not for grandparents it would be a be a whole lot of bad news.

She deserted us … never had a thing to do with her kids. Went off and started another family … she’s worth many millions now from what I know. I, nor any of my other siblings have looked her up, or have anything to do with her.

Yeah … it really sucks. But I won’t let her or my father ruin my life. I had great grandparents that kept me whole , alive, head screwed on.

Parents can be the whole problem. I did not move my family name forward.
 
MinnesotaSmith

MinnesotaSmith

Membership Revoked
Grounded Idealist said:
Child support goes toward ALL expenses related to raising the child, not just day care.
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I've seen a study that on average only about 20% of CS actually goes for support of the children. Thus, if a NCP spends any higher percentage of his income on his children, money he sends the CP is wasted compared to what he manages (legally or otherwise) to keep.
 
D

Double_A

TB Fanatic
ShadowMan said:
OOOOOH it gets even better. How'd you like to be a college educated, successful, single guy in Los Angeles and suddenly you get hit with an order for child support for a kid that's not yours, from a women you've NEVER MET, all because your name got picked out of a telephone book?!? BTW....if I remember correctly his name was something like Garcia. Do you have ANY IDEA how many Garcia's there are in the LOS ANGELES area telephone book?

Judge doesn't care what your side of the story is....YOU ARE GOING TO PAY!! So the guy after several years of battling the courts gets a DNA test that proves unequivocally beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is ABSOLUTELY NOT THE FATHER and the court totally ignores the SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE and continues to dock his pay for a kid that is not his.

So he appeals the case and it goes up the chain and still he's paying child support for a kid that's not his. Where it's at in the court system today, I have no idea. The last I heard it was headed to the 9th Federal Court of appeals....ONLY THE WORST FEDERAL COURT IN THE NATION and the MOST overturned court in the ENTIRE SYSTEM....and still he's being forced to pay for child support!! Probably until it hits the Supreme Court.
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Maybe some here need to be involved with a case like this, wonder of he could be so magnanimous after.
 
jward

jward

passin' thru
I'm sure every anecdotal feelz based case cited here in offers a lot of food for thought and consideration. The OP doesn't have grey area that I can see, though. Create life, go directly to: must behave like an adult for the good of the child. Period. The system, the significant other can all suck. Doesn't matter. Get the short end of the stick somehow? So. Welcome to life Baby, we all get our turn.

Sometimes I'm afraid I give more serious screening to folks I pretend co-parent & share cats with than some give before they actually lay down beside another & make life . WTAF?!

Daddy is supposed to teach us how to act honorably in the face of our feelz- and as he so freely admits, he failed. Being the adult often doesn't feel as good as acting out does, but we do it anyway, ya know, coz we're adults
 
Old Gringo

Old Gringo

Senior Member
jward said:
I'm sure every anecdotal feelz based case cited here in offers a lot of food for thought and consideration. The OP doesn't have grey area that I can see, though. Create life, go directly to: must behave like an adult for the good of the child. Period. The system, the significant other can all suck. Doesn't matter. Get the short end of the stick somehow? So. Welcome to life Baby, we all get our turn.

Sometimes I'm afraid I give more serious screening to folks I pretend co-parent & share cats with than some give before they actually lay down beside another & make life . WTAF?!

Daddy is supposed to teach us how to act honorably in the face of our feelz- and as he so freely admits, he failed. Being the adult often doesn't feel as good as acting out does, but we do it anyway, ya know, coz we're adults
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If a person doesn't complain, there is no realization of a problem.
 
33dInd

33dInd

Veteran Member
jward said:
I'm sure every anecdotal feelz based case cited here in offers a lot of food for thought and consideration. The OP doesn't have grey area that I can see, though. Create life, go directly to: must behave like an adult for the good of the child. Period. The system, the significant other can all suck. Doesn't matter. Get the short end of the stick somehow? So. Welcome to life Baby, we all get our turn.

Sometimes I'm afraid I give more serious screening to folks I pretend co-parent & share cats with than some give before they actually lay down beside another & make life . WTAF?!

Daddy is supposed to teach us how to act honorably in the face of our feelz- and as he so freely admits, he failed. Being the adult often doesn't feel as good as acting out does, but we do it anyway, ya know, coz we're adults
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Good words
Good words indeed
 
33dInd

33dInd

Veteran Member
Double_A said:
Maybe some here need to be involved with a case like this, wonder of he could be so magnanimous after.
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Comparing this to the original post is apples to oranges
Your case cited is an appalling abuse of the system
The original post was a biological dad being a jerk
And yes women dump on men all the time cause they all be jerks
Can’t have it both ways
They both chose...........poorly
 
annieosage

annieosage

Inactive
Well I got married at 19, baby at 20, divorced at 22. When I went before the judge (Los Angeles County) my ex didn't show up. The judge asked me what I thought was a fair amount for child support. I told him I will never get it anyway so don't order it. He wisely said to ask for the smallest amount so if he ever does have a job or money, you can collect. That was $200 a month in 1988. I never received a penny. I heard of his whereabouts in the mid-90's but where he was living was a known drug area in Wyoming and I didn't bother pursuing.

Skip to 2019. I saw an article about a lady who went after her ex husband for back pay from year prior and won. I thought well let me check into this. I know now where he lives and works as DD has a "relationship" with him if you can call it that. She knows him for what he is- a pathological liar and overall sketchy person. He was working as a chef in a restaurant in Seattle. I contacted a company who said they would collect your back support and take a percentage but if nothing was collected you paid nothing. What could it hurt?

I had every single document they asked for and it was a lot. They actually spoke to him. What I didn't have, after they spoke to him, was a document from the LA County Court advising how much he would owe with interest. She said I had to prove he never paid. Shouldn't he have to show proof he did?? I don't live there anymore but tried to get it online but it was too old. I tried calling for a month and could never get through. It was about that point that Covid hit so I gave up.

It's fine. Better off not dealing with him anyway. DD never brought up child support and he never mentioned it to her. They rarely speak and when they do it's surface BS. She will always keep the lines of communication open but understands him for what he is. He has 3 kids, none of which he supports: my DD who is basically a happy healthy productive adult, another DD who has 4 babies by 4 baby daddies, and a son who is in a polyamorous relationship.
 
20Gauge

20Gauge

TB Fanatic
I can tell you by 1999 they had their act together and can go back 30 years and will not only calculate the interest, but will do so at 10% annually on the principle.
 
tiredude

tiredude

Veteran Member
20Gauge said:
$800 is big money?????? LOL

Mine was in excess of $1500 per month ...... per month...... That was in 1999.
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Im saying this is more like it....... she gets the money based on the children BUT gets to spend it on ANYTHING she wants.......

eta: they make slaves of the men...... I have a friend that makes 100k/yr...... he has been paying 6500/mo for 6 years...... do the math.......
 
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