POL Virginia father pays last child support payment in with 80,000 pennies, report says

[20Gauge]

Virginia father pays last child support payment with 80,000 pennies, report says

The father of a Virginia teen paid his last child support payment by dumping 80,000 pennies on his estranged daughter’s front lawn, reports said.

www.foxnews.com

The father of a Virginia teen paid his last child support payment by dumping 80,000 pennies on his estranged daughter’s front lawn, reports said.

WTVR.com reported that the teen and her mother collected the pennies and decided to donate the $800 to Safe Harbor, a domestic abuse center.

Avery Sanford, who is 18 and hasn’t spoken to her father in years, told the station that her father, who was not named in the report, rented a trailer and pulled in front of the house in Richmond. He proceeded to dump the change on the grass. Her mother asked him what he was doing, and he said, "It’s your final child support payment."



"It’s not just my mom he’s trying to embarrass, it’s also me and my sister and it’s upsetting that he didn’t consider that before he did that," she said.

The father told the station that his emotions got the best of him and he regrets the decision.


Cathy Easter, executive director of Safe Harbor, told the Washington Post, "They were able to turn such a negative experience, and what her daughter witnessed, into a positive. They found a way to turn this around and not feel devastated about it."

 

[Blacknarwhal]

Cathy Easter, executive director of Safe Harbor, told the Washington Post, "They were able to turn such a negative experience, and what her daughter witnessed, into a positive. They found a way to turn this around and not feel devastated about it."

Because 80,000 pennies on your lawn is a total hate crime, you know. "Devastated"? Seriously? How is ANYONE "devastated" by this?

 

[20Gauge]

I find the comments below the article to be the best part of the article. One in particular.....

Better advice, to men and fathers in this situation from someone who has been there, is threefold. One, if your a man/father in these times, you ARE guilty in the eyes to the wanna-have-fun-do-anything child and in most cases their protective mother who views any counsel as criticism and will allow illegal acts and behaviors because it's her child. You shouldn't accept that, so put as much physical distance and barriers to contact up as possible and go live your life as if you were never married and never had children. A second piece of advice is to never, NEVER come back if you've left or been forced out, especially if the child gets into trouble and most especially with the law. The saying blood is thicker than water is untrue. You can CHOOSE your family and biological connections are no cable that can't be broken. Third is you are not a failure or a bad father. The future actions of twit ex-wives and ungrateful, disrespectful children will validate that. That's their scene and they made it themselves. If you were a truly loving but tough father, you fought the good fight and you will be rewarded. It is very similar to what people are beginning to understand about veterans coming back from combat. Disengagement, retreat and redeployment are doctrinal in both the military and personal life.

Though I do not agree 100%, I found that keeping my distance once their minds were poisoned, was the best for me and my mental health as I could do nothing for them once their mother had them alone with her family.

 

[greysage]

The daughter is 18, owns a house, and was getting child support?

 

[amarilla]

I suspect she doesn't OWN it but the journalist used her house like I refer to my college age children as having "their" rooms. Such as Gabriela's room. Even though my husband and I own the house.

 

[20Gauge]

The daughter is 18, owns a house, and was getting child support?

Mine are 30+ years old and still getting child support. Why? Because they set a rate that was more than I made at one point. Then later when they compassionately lowered it, it was 75% of my income.

I will be paying until I reach 70 years old.

Though I do have a plan..... Evil Grin ....... I am going to have the feds pay it with my SS income. Income that 40 years ago I realized that I would never ever be able to depend upon.

Not a perfect plan but it is a plan.

 

[hunybee]

Mine are 30+ years old and still getting child support. Why? Because they set a rate that was more than I made at one point. Then later when they compassionately lowered it, it was 75% of my income.

I will be paying until I reach 70 years old.

Though I do have a plan..... Evil Grin ....... I am going to have the feds pay it with my SS income. Income that 40 years ago I realized that I would never ever be able to depend upon.

Not a perfect plan but it is a plan.

I have no words.

No words other than: I am sorry.

 

[20Gauge]

I have no words.

No words other than: I am sorry.

I realize I will always be bitter about losing my children, I have gone on with my life.

It just pains me that my mother was cut off also. She did nothing to cause any issues.

I also have to admit, jokes against women who make fathers become estranged or those who proudly call themselves Single mothers, make me laugh. Especially when they are mean. Sorry, it is a result / coping mechanism for the situation.

 

[Publius]

If I'm not wrong that works out to $800 dollars. Someone was making big money on child support.

 

[iboya]

Virginia father pays last child support payment with 80,000 pennies, report says

The father of a Virginia teen paid his last child support payment by dumping 80,000 pennies on his estranged daughter’s front lawn, reports said.

www.foxnews.com

The father of a Virginia teen paid his last child support payment by dumping 80,000 pennies on his estranged daughter’s front lawn, reports said.

WTVR.com reported that the teen and her mother collected the pennies and decided to donate the $800 to Safe Harbor, a domestic abuse center.

Avery Sanford, who is 18 and hasn’t spoken to her father in years, told the station that her father, who was not named in the report, rented a trailer and pulled in front of the house in Richmond. He proceeded to dump the change on the grass. Her mother asked him what he was doing, and he said, "It’s your final child support payment."



"It’s not just my mom he’s trying to embarrass, it’s also me and my sister and it’s upsetting that he didn’t consider that before he did that," she said.

The father told the station that his emotions got the best of him and he regrets the decision.


Cathy Easter, executive director of Safe Harbor, told the Washington Post, "They were able to turn such a negative experience, and what her daughter witnessed, into a positive. They found a way to turn this around and not feel devastated about it."

He embarrassed himself by showing how spiteful he is toward his children.

 

[Blacknarwhal]

He embarrassed himself by showing how spiteful he is toward his children.

If he were spiteful toward his children, he would have never paid.

He is spiteful to the system, and is therefore discharging his duty established by said system in an extremely inconvenient fashion.

 

[Faroe]

He embarrassed himself by showing how spiteful he is toward his children.

Shrug. $800 per month is a lot of money. He should be pissed, AND spiteful. My only quibble here is, he says his emotions got the best of him - NEVER apologize! Done and over with; everyone involved in this can now go on with their lives.

 

[Faroe]

If he were spiteful toward his children, he would have never paid.

He is spiteful to the system, and is therefore discharging his duty established by said system in an extremely inconvenient fashion.

An honest mother would have said, that was a dumb ruling and an unnecessary amount of money. She could have returned what she didn't need. Yeah, child care is expensive, but the kid is 18! It has been a LONG time since she would have paid day-care.

 

[20Gauge]

He embarrassed himself by showing how spiteful he is toward his children.

Can't argue, but I suspect the kids hated him at that point so no biggie.

 

[Blacknarwhal]

Can't argue, but I suspect the kids hated him at that point so no biggie.

Well, it doesn't help the father's case that they gave away that payment to a domestic abuse operation. Unless it was a deliberate dodge designed to cast suspicion on what the father was doing beforehand.

 

[20Gauge]

If I'm not wrong that works out to $800 dollars. Someone was making big money on child support.

$800 is big money?????? LOL

Mine was in excess of $1500 per month ...... per month...... That was in 1999.

 

[iboya]

If he were spiteful toward his children, he would have never paid.

He is spiteful to the system, and is therefore discharging his duty established by said system in an extremely inconvenient fashion.

I understand how you feel

 

[20Gauge]

Well, it doesn't help the father's case that they gave away that payment to a domestic abuse operation.

No it doesn't. Any and all men will get upset when they lose their families due to divorce (rather the 80% who do not file for it) and that is often taken advantage by women who claim abuse.

 

[iboya]

Shrug. $800 per month is a lot of money. He should be pissed, AND spiteful. My only quibble here is, he says his emotions got the best of him - NEVER apologize! Done and over with; everyone involved in this can now go on with their lives.

Your feelings are understood

 

[Faroe]

Well, it doesn't help the father's case that they gave away that payment to a domestic abuse operation. Unless it was a deliberate dodge designed to cast suspicion on what the father was doing beforehand.

I noticed that too. Who knows the history of this family.
Spite here, goes both ways, with that public insinuation.
Tacky, and virtue signalling on her part.

 

[20Gauge]

An honest mother would have said, that was a dumb ruling and an unnecessary amount of money. She could have returned what she didn't need. Yeah, child care is expensive, but the kid is 18! It has been a LONG time since she would have paid day-care.

Funny thing is as they get older, you can refile and get more money.

 

[Melodi]

Sadly, a lot of people (mostly but not limited to men) will be paying "child support" long after their kids hid middle age or beyond.

That was because of the decision made when I worked at AFDC in the early 1990s to allow states to collect "back child support" on behalf of children whose Moms had to go on welfare for a time. States were allowed to "clawback" that money at whatever rate a judge "deemed" the father could pay which often did not match reality.

I am old enough to have had friends before the change and then the sob (and actual horror stories) tended to be the other way around, all a man had to do was move to another State or pretend to have no income and he could get out of paying much if anything.

This led to a study that came out around 1990 showing that if all the child support "owed" was paid to Moms on welfare, then something like 2/3rds of them would no longer be getting benefits (that was the study, it may or may not have been correct).

But it led to these laws that States just loved because now they got life-long "paybacks" from the non-custodial parent for every benefit the Mom and Kids got from the welfare system.

This system was so bad, that by the time I left and got married about three years later, extremely low-income Mothers were often refusing to name the fathers of their children because they knew the guy was trying. He'd bring diapers, bits of cash, and occasionally toys or extra food for his kids, but he had no regular income (or a very low-paying part-time job). The Moms knew that if they reported them, they got nothing out of it and the men got hit with impossible amounts of money that caused a lot of them to simply drop out of the system. They knew they could never pay those amounts if they lived to be 100, so all support and contact with the Mom and kids ceased.

This led to more laws and regulations (while I was working there) where states would refuse to provide welfare benefits if Mom didn't "name" a "possible" father - which led to the "open the phone book and point" usually with a social worker sitting there in the hospital that before DNA testing trapped a lot of innocent men.

It took years for the DNA testing to start to repair things somewhat, with there actually being cases where judges still wouldn't let "Dad" off the hook for his nonexistent children paying "child support" that never went to a child but to the State.

The carrot some States used was to give the Moms just a bit more money a month if they would report and name the fathers, simply because so many really low-income people refused to name them, preferring Dad bring the occasional birthday card and twenty dollars to getting nothing.

This is a long and complicated story but it partly boils down too: sometimes try to correct a social wrong by going too far in the other direction to punish those perceived to be "guilty" can backfire spectacularly and this particular experiment in social engineering has done just that.

 

[Ku Commando]

80,000 pennies = 482 POUNDS

A 5 gal bucket holds about 200 LB.....GUARANTEED you ain't moving that gracefully

Who's got time to lug that shlt around ??

 

[iboya]

No it doesn't. Any and all men will get upset when they lose their families due to divorce (rather the 80% who do not file for it) and that is often taken advantage by women who claim abuse.

Your feelings make sense

 

[iboya]

To all fathers who have been in this mans shoes, we hear you

 

[hunybee]

I think everyone here knows I am not a feminazi, and that I do not think all men are bad it even most. Same goes for women. I look at each situation. There are stereotypes for a reason, and I know plenty of examples on both sides that fit. As well as many exceptions on both sides.

I know one man that had his final payment a few years ago, and it was a happy day!!

He is an excellent father. His children wanted for nothing. He instilled a good work ethic. He loves them very much.

It was still a happy day for him when that final payment came.

I do not blame him. It gets frustrating and tiresome and extremely disruptive to constantly be pulled back into court to appease the ex-wife when she wanted to cause problems. It hit infuriating to pay for everything for the kids, and then still be treated like a bank machine.

An endless, I can't get blood so you will pay with anything else, bank machine.

He told me, it's only money....as he would take a deep sigh and try to figure out how, and how to also pay the attorneys. So much hidden expenses. He got it up the tailpipe. For years.

I don't know what led to the divorce, and I won't ask. I met him afterward. All I know is what I have seen in the afterward.

He always put his kids first and tried to do his best and spend time with them. He still does. He still helps his kids financially, in good and instructional ways, but doesn't just dump money on them.

I am glad his child support days are done.

 

[iboya]

Divorce is ugly, parents behave badly, children suffer.
The children should always be the first consideration by both parents.
But emotions get the best of people.

 

[Blacknarwhal]

I think everyone here knows I am not a feminazi, and that I do not think all men are bad it even most. Same goes for women. I look at each situation. There are stereotypes for a reason, and I know plenty of examples on both sides that fit. As well as many exceptions on both sides.

I know one man that had his final payment a few years ago, and it was a happy day!!

He is an excellent father. His children wanted for nothing. He instilled a good work ethic. He loves them very much.

It was still a happy day for him when that final payment came.

I do not blame him. It gets frustrating and tiresome and extremely disruptive to constantly be pulled back into court to appease the ex-wife when she wanted to cause problems. It hit infuriating to pay for everything for the kids, and then still be treated like a bank machine.

An endless, I can't get blood so you will pay with anything else, bank machine.

He told me, it's only money....as he would take a deep sigh and try to figure out how, and how to also pay the attorneys. So much hidden expenses. He got it up the tailpipe. For years.

I don't know what led to the divorce, and I won't ask. I met him afterward. All I know is what I have seen in the afterward.

He always put his kids first and tried to do his best and spend time with them. He still does. He still helps his kids financially, in good and instructional ways, but doesn't just dump money on them.

I am glad his child support days are done.

And people wonder why so few are getting married today. They look at stories like this, and the realization that marriages' survivability rates are somewhere around a coin flip right now, and realize there are a LOT of potential failure points here.

I haven't so much as kissed a woman in better than 20 years, and even I'm wondering if I'm not better off.

 

[Kathy in FL]

There are two sides to every story. Unless we know all of the facts, this nothing but a manipulation by the media. Nothing but another form of click bait. Stop falling for that crap. All parties might and likely are guilty of something. Don’t air dirty laundry in public. It is no ones business but your own. And sure as heck don’t put your personal business out where the media/social media can get it. The story always gets twisted. No one wins that way.

 

[Sid Vicious]

Just imagine the next morning for that guy. The sun was never brighter. His future outlook was never better.

 

[ShadowMan]

Well just try to survive on Negative NOTHING when a judge orders 125% of your GROSS pay be garnished for child support! Oh and while you're deployed overseas and can't defend yourself or have your day in court!! Thank God I was active duty and the military only allows half your net pay to be docked.

Took years of legal battles to get that stopped and ran through 4 lawyers. AND I still have to pay the BACK CHILD SUPPORT that was later found illegal, but the court refused to back date the overages to the date the damn shitte started. Oh and better still had to pay for CHILD DAYCARE on my youngest until he was 18 and nothing was wrong with him. A perfectly healthy kid. Wife totally poisoned my kids against me....nasty nasty beoatch!! Threw monkey wrenches in every effort I did to be a good father and actually tried to disallow me to get remarried a couple of years down the row...imagine that!

What was I guilty of? Being in the military and going to war (Desert Storm). After the war she wanted me to quit with less than 5 years to go until retirement. I said no......that's what started it. That and a bunch of hungry lawyers and crooked liberal judges.

My happiest day ever when I paid my last penny to that evil wench. Today even her own kids hate her and will have nothing to do with her. Evil evil evil. One good thing.....she didn't get a penny of my military retirement and benefits. She divorced me just UNDER the ten year requirement! Did her math wrong! Hee, hee, hee, hee!!

P.S. And when I tried to go for JOINT Custody I was told by the judge that I was an UNFIT father BECAUSE I WAS IN THE MILITARY!! No other reason....ALL military parents are UNFIT because they are in the military....WTF! One of my original lawyers actually had a friggen mental breakdown dealing with my case against the overwhelming prejudice and abuse of the California system and the judges.

Another lawyer I tried to hire actually told me flat out nothing he or I could do would allow me to win my case because I was an man, in the military and in the California courts. The "TRIPLE whammy", but he'd gladly take my money. That's how stacked the LIBERAL courts in Southern California are against men and especially the military.

Oh...and you'll love this. My Ex could afford excellent divorce/child support lawyers, because she FORGED my signature on the sale of our house and the judge REFUSED to hear that evidence! FRIGGEN REFUSED!! They can all FOAD as far as I'm concerned. Evil Bastards!

 

[iboya]

I think there are 3 sides to every story, Father, Mother and the Children

There are two sides to every story. Unless we know all of the facts, this nothing but a manipulation by the media. Nothing but another form of click bait. Stop falling for that crap. All parties might and likely are guilty of something. Don’t air dirty laundry in public. It is no ones business but your own. And sure as heck don’t put your personal business out where the media/social media can get it. The story always gets twisted. No one wins that way.

You are correct. And everyone has their own personal experience to prove their point.
Many from both child and parent perspectives

 

[Southside]

Shrug. $800 per month is a lot of money. He should be pissed, AND spiteful. My only quibble here is, he says his emotions got the best of him - NEVER apologize! Done and over with; everyone involved in this can now go on with their lives.

Absolutely, NEVER!

 

[byronandkathy2003]

you want insane when it comes to child support??

ok kathy and i are on disability we have been living in the same house for 26 years that we have been together ..
we are not married the government has made sure we cant afford to get married if we get married soc sec will say oh you are married then you dont need as much money to live on..

so any way we have son Brian now 23 here is the stupid part of child suport.
the persecuting attorney for the county calls me into is office and says i have to pay child support.
so i said that we all live in the same house why would i need to pay child support i am taking care of my child??
he says i will pay or go to jail so i payed the child support it went to friend of the court then to kathy and was right back where the payment came from in the first place.

 

[9idrr]

I can still remember seein' my Mom writin' out two checks each month, one for child support and another for alimony to my Dad's ex. When my half-brother was too much for his mother to handle as a teenager, he came to live with us for part of his time in high school. The court didn't care, the child support had to continue bein' sent to the "custodial" parent 'cause a temporary change to livin' arrangement wasn't considered reason to cut off the checks.

 

[20Gauge]

you want insane when it comes to child support??

ok kathy and i are on disability we have been living in the same house for 26 years that we have been together ..
we are not married the government has made sure we cant afford to get married if we get married soc sec will say oh you are married then you dont need as much money to live on..

so any way we have son Brian now 23 here is the stupid part of child suport.
the persecuting attorney for the county calls me into is office and says i have to pay child support.
so i said that we all live in the same house why would i need to pay child support i am taking care of my child??
he says i will pay or go to jail so i payed the child support it went to friend of the court then to kathy and was right back where the payment came from in the first place.

That is due to the fact, the DA gets a dollar for every dollar charged. Has been that way for decades.

You will notice two themes on this one.

Insane child support amounts
Not being allowed to see children due to exes.

 

[9idrr]

you want insane when it comes to child support??

ok kathy and i are on disability we have been living in the same house for 26 years that we have been together ..
we are not married the government has made sure we cant afford to get married if we get married soc sec will say oh you are married then you dont need as much money to live on..

so any way we have son Brian now 23 here is the stupid part of child suport.
the persecuting attorney for the county calls me into is office and says i have to pay child support.
so i said that we all live in the same house why would i need to pay child support i am taking care of my child??
he says i will pay or go to jail so i payed the child support it went to friend of the court keep; theirthen to kathy and was right back where the payment came from in the first place.

Sorry, but I can't see where the dot-gov has made sure you can't marry. We all make choices, and some of 'em come back to bite us. And if all the money you pay in support comes back into the same household, what's the problem? You're helpin' somebody keep a chair warm at a desk in an office somewhere.

 

[iboya]

We all have very strong feelings on this subject.

 

[TerryK]

There are two sides to every story. Unless we know all of the facts, this nothing but a manipulation by the media. Nothing but another form of click bait. Stop falling for that crap. All parties might and likely are guilty of something. Don’t air dirty laundry in public. It is no ones business but your own. And sure as heck don’t put your personal business out where the media/social media can get it. The story always gets twisted. No one wins that way.

Thank you.
I was wondering when someone would post some common sense instead of just emotions.
You've got to remember, that most people just like their feelz, and that's why emotional clickbait is so successful.
We will never know the whole and truthful story behind the OP, and it seems most people don't really care when they can easily supply their own version of their "truth".

Stories like these with no, or very few facts are like Rorshach tests. They actually say very little in themselves, but reveal so much about the people who react to them. They are a psychoanalyst's wet dream.

 

[byronandkathy2003]

Sorry, but I can't see where the dot-gov has made sure you can't marry. We all make choices, and some of 'em come back to bite us. And if all the money you pay in support comes back into the same household, what's the problem? You're helpin' somebody keep a chair warm at a desk in an office somewhere.

it was soc sec that told us if we got married we would loose money ..
i never said it was a problem just that it was stupid ...