Story Veta (Book 1) (complete)

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 11: Sep 10 – Rosyth (Edinburgh), Scotland, UK (Part 1)

Another kerfuffle with Vit. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad. He’s been driving me a bit crazy today because of it. I’ve about had it with people being solicitous. Just leave me in peace already. These extremes aren’t healthy … or for the most part in my opinion, genuine or lasting.

The first mistake was accidentally waking Frankie up last night when I went to check on him to make sure he wasn’t running a fever. He wasn’t but he had at some point because I could tell he’d sweated through his sheets. I had him get up and showered – grumble, grumble, grumble – and then found a clean top sheet for his bed from the extras left in his cabin. He agreed he felt better for it but then noticed my red nose. You don’t lie to a child like Frankie and I explained about Derrick – none of the rest of it – and he seemed to understand and let it go. Seemed to being the operative phrase.

A few hours later I was awoken as Vit entered the room. I rolled over to keep the light out of my eyes but then he whispered, “Veta.”

“Mm?”

“I just came from dropping Nicholas at his cabin.”

I am a very light sleeper and I went to bed worried about Frankie so of course that is the first thing I thought of at his words. I sat up and threw off the covers. “Did his temperature come back?” I asked as I started to slide my feet into slippers.

“No. He said that you were crying. That your brother, the one named Der-rick, had another operation.”

I was halfway up and then flopped back down. “So Frankie is all right?”

“Yes. Nicholas opened him a ginger ale from the refrigerator and told him to drink some but otherwise he was fine.”

I nearly wilted. “Then what is wrong?”

“As I said, your brother.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t an open-heart surgery … they put in stints to open a couple of arteries. Thank you for asking but you don’t need to worry that I’m not fit for my job. I will still be taking Frankie around tomorrow … assuming he is well enough for it. Goodnight.”

I turned over and went back to sleep.

I woke at my usual hour, but my eyes and head felt evil. It took me long enough to get up and moving that I decided to skip exercising and check on Frankie instead. I took more time with my makeup than usual trying to hide the remaining evidence of my crying fit. As I was to find out I was only partially successful.

I came out to the living area to find it full … Frankie, Vit, Nicholas, and Miss Hayworth.

At my alarm Miss Hayworth said, “I’m just checking to see if you are able to come today. If not, I perfectly understand.”

Trying to not pop off and ask if it was a shake down trying to tell me they didn’t want me I instead straightened and said, “I’m fit. I’m more concerned whether Frankie is able to …”

“I’m fine Miss Veta. I think it was that cream stuff with the fish in it. I tried it to be polite so that Mr. and Mrs. Crankston wouldn’t complain to Grandmother … but it was kinda gross.”

“It wasn’t my favorite either. But you did have a fever last night.”

“I always do when I puke. So do Mother and Francine. It just doesn’t happen very often for me. I’m only kinda sorta half-Marchand that way. Nickie and Father are all Marchand with cast iron stomachs. Grandmother says so.”

“Oh,” I said, unsure how else to respond to that.

I turned to Miss Hayworth and she could tell I was at a loss for words and politely came to the rescue. “Well then, it appears to be settled. Just let me know if things become too much for you.”

“Miss Hayworth, a moment please?” I followed her as she left the cabin. “I’m sorry anyone thought I would be an inconvenience. It was … the shock of it last night. I am going to honor my contract … and my promise to Frankie.”

Turning to me she gave me a serious look. “I can see that. And just to let you know, the Crankstons did try to create a situation during dinner last night but were roundly pushed back by several other couples. You’ve made an impression my dear. And apparently Frankie is a ‘doll’ and ‘dear’ and a ‘perfect little gentleman’ with manners to match.”

“Oh dear. The last thing that is needed is for a situation to occur during such a long voyage.”

“The Crankstons have been trying to make a scene since before the cruise even began. They wanted the owner’s suite as an upgrade, but we’d already booked it well in advance of their desire. They’ll either get over it, or they won’t. Madam says you simply can’t please some people.”

My mouth nearly fell open at the seeming hypocrisy of that statement but instead I said, “Thank you for your time. I’ll return to the cabin and make sure that Frankie really is fit to go today and isn’t just trying to be nice.”

I had my hand on the cabin door when it opened and Nicholas and Frankie came out. “I’ll take the Squirt to eat. Scrambled eggs and toast. It’s what Francine and Mother eat.”

I watched them walk away and I didn’t know whether to be grateful or irritated. I shook my head and started to open the door again when Vit opened it and asked me to please come in. He wished to speak with me.

Not really wanting an interrogation I asked, “About?”

He sighed. “This will not go on. Veta … the other night … I did not mean to … for it to appear that I … question your professionalism. I have no excuses. Being at the beck and call of a captain … or even a yacht owner’s spoiled children … is different than what is being asked of me in my current position. I was … jealous … of your freedom. It is only now that I see …” Rather stiffly he asked, “Were you really asked to remain in the cabin and use Room Service rather than eat with the other passengers even when the boy dines with the family?”

I snorted. “I’m not a passenger. I am Staff. Or at least Staff as far as the Marchand party goes.”

“That does not answer my question.”

I shrugged. “It’s an explanation as to why they asked me to keep Frankie here at night unless he was specifically invited to dinner or some other event. And speaking of, go eat breakfast please. I suspect you will need your patience today.”

“No. She and Fraulein Hayworth are taking a tour by taxi of Edinburgh. We are excused and will be walking down the Royal Mile.”

“Then you will need even more patience because Nicholas will act like a kid out of school.”

“Perhaps. But I can sympathize. If Madam would loosen the reins a bit Nicholas would not desire to kick over the traces quite so much. Mr. O’Rourke is of a similar mind and said he will try to help where he can. He has a nephew that is Nicholas’ age with a mother who is even more controlling, or so he says.”

“Good. That should make your job easier to have a compatriot. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Veta.”

“Yes?”

“Nothing. Unless you would prefer otherwise Nicholas and I will accompany you and Frankie.”

“I’m capable of …”

“Yes,” he said. “You’ve proven that. But perhaps it will be good for Nicholas to find the same rhythm we had in London.”

“Ah. Of course. Give me a moment.”

“And you are bringing Miss Veta’s magic backpack?” When I looked at him he shrugged. “He asked.”

“Then I will. Please go eat breakfast and if you will corral Frankie, that will give me time to pack what we might need.”

We docked in Rosyth and then took a shuttle to Edinburgh which then dropped us off at Edinburgh Castle, possibly one of the most “haunted” sites in Scotland. No, I don’t believe in ghosts in the traditional sense but there are some locations … castles, parts of Jerusalem, civil war battlefields … that seem to have a sense of history or events so profound that they exude something that is heavy enough to be felt. The number of people packed into the place also gave it an atmosphere, one less pleasant than I could have hoped for, but my research prepared me for that reality. Having always desired to visit Edinburgh I knew quite a bit about it and told of things that I’ve read over the years as we toured at our own pace.

In the castle we saw the Portcullis Gate, Argyle Battery and Tower, the Lang Stairs, the Prisoners of War Exhibition (quite moving), the military prisons, the Royal Scots Museum, and the Dragoon Scots Museum, the Governor’s House, and the battlements among other points. We weren’t in the castle for the 1 o’clock cannon blast but we heard it despite being a lot further along. The Castle is situated high above the city on a hill which gave us spectacular views of the Princes Garden, the Old Town, and several other historical and modern areas. Walking up to the Castle had been torture on my calves as I wore the wrong shoes for such exercise. Walking down was only slightly better. What didn’t get better were the crowds. And once we did reach street level pedestrians had to share the Royal Mile with crazy drivers, including large tourist busses that really shouldn’t have been using the thoroughfare.

First, I suppose I need to mention there are in excess of fifty “closes” off the Royal Mile all of which can be found in a list on Wikipedia[1]. The closes nearest the castle were quite steep and narrow. As we travelled away from the Castle, several of them are merely signs of what once existed, others are sealed and only have private access, and still others that are still used as passageways from the Royal Mile to other streets just beyond the buildings that line the Mile.

Starting near the Castle we saw St. Giles’ Cathedral. The first church was built on the site in the 12th Century but that one was destroyed by fire. The second church was built there in 1385 and many chapels and other bits and pieces have been added onto it since giving the building a rather haphazard appearance but still recognizable as a church.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 11: Sep 10 – Rosyth (Edinburgh), Scotland, UK (Part 2)

While Frankie and I stepped into a gift shop where I bought my allotment of post cards as well as an argyle scarf, Vit and Nicholas went into the Royal Mile Whiskiers and the Scotch Whiskey Experience. Vit came out of both holding a bag and looking a bit bemused as if he wasn’t quite sure how he’d been separated from his money. Nicholas said his eyes were watering. “Man is that stuff strong.”

An older gentleman who had exited with them laughed and slapped him on the back. “Give ye big arms and a hairy chest. But unless ye want the trouble with the lasses that goes with it, I’d take another year or two before ye invest yerself in it.”

“Oh my,” I said, causing Frankie to laugh. “I believe the gentleman may have already … er … invested himself a bit today.”

“Yeah,” Nicholas agreed. “Pretty sure if his breath is any indication. Whew.”

I offered to put Vit’s packages in my backpack but he said, “Nii. I’ll need to declare it as we board.”

Near the west door of St. Giles Cathedral Frankie asked why people were spitting on the ground. Taking him closer, but staying out of range as it were, I showed him they were spitting on what is called the Heart of Midlothian. The heart-shaped mosaic set in the cobbled-stone pavement, marks the entrance of a building that was demolished nearly 200 years ago, but which still remains in the memories of the people who grew up in the area, which is why they spit – for good luck. The building was the Old Tolbooth, which was a medieval customs house. In 1640 it housed the Court of Session which was the principal jail of the area, where prisoners were often tortured before being taken out for public execution in front of the entrance. According to legend, Edinburgh’s petty thieves and not-so-petty criminals spat on the door as they passed to bring them luck against the day when they found themselves being taken through it. The building was demolished in 1817 and the heart set into the cobble stones to remind the population of the misery and torture carried out behind the ancient walls.

“How come you know all of this weird stuff?” Nicholas asked as we watched another man spit at the heart.

“My siblings would warn you to never play trivia games with me. I’m afraid my brain is awash with a lot of useless claptrap.”

“But why all this stuff about here?” he persisted.

I shrugged. “After Momma died Poppa said he and I would take a trip here. But … he got sick too. Then after Poppa … Derrick said he would take me but …” I shook my head. “I used to travel with Poppa and Derrick quite a bit but once I started college, time – became fickle.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means right when you think you have so much of it is when you generally learn you have the least.”

Panicking slightly Nicholas yelped, “Oh … man … I … I didn’t mean to make you sad. God, please don’t cry.”

“You did not. And please ignore me being ridiculous,” I said searching for a Kleenex. Wiping my nose I said, “I’m just being a girl.”

“Er … Francine and Mother would have a LOT to say about that so I’m not touching it. It might get back to them and they can be brutal if they think you are shortchanging females.”

“I don’t happen to consider being a girl a bad thing.”

“Neither do they. And they better not even think you do. Man.”

I chuckled at his attempt at levity and we marched on though I noted that Vit insisted on taking a turn carrying the backpack – a thing he’d never done before – and asking if I needed a break. After once again assuring them that I was fine I told them another ghost story.

Mary King’s Close is reputed to be one of the most haunted places in Edinburgh, which is the most haunted city in Scotland. It is deep under the Royal Exchange building and is a series of winding streets and tenement houses that were used as its foundation many years after they had been closed off during the Great Plague that struck the city in 1645. The plague was carried here from the mainland of Europe by the fleas on the merchant ships’ rats and infested the poorer parts of the city, where hygiene was minimal. Carried by flea bites, the plague spread and many of the poorer tenement areas were closed off as urgent quarantine measures. Mary King’s Close was one of those areas and according to legend, the people left inside the streets and buildings were bricked in and left to die either of the plague or of starvation. Their ghosts, and particularly one of a small girl named Annie, are supposed to haunt the place. The area was uncovered during renovations to the building over it and was opened to the public in 2003 as a tourist attraction. As part of the attraction, guides in costume-dress lead you through the underground streets, which have been restored to 17th century designs, and tell you the history of Mary King the master seamstress after whom the close was named, and about Annie.

“There is a tradition of leaving a toy or small donation to the poor little spirit who wanders the streets looking for her favorite doll. All these gifts are in turn given to the hospital for sick children and other charities,” I told them.

Nicholas and Frankie looked at each other and then at me. I asked, “Too much?”

Nicholas answered for both of them. “No. Just … why don’t we hear stuff like this in history class? I mean this stuff is actually interesting.”

I shrugged being careful to not impugn my fellow teachers. “Most teachers are only allowed to teach what is in the approved texts that the school district purchases. Haven’t you ever had a teacher tell you that you should research and investigate things on your own?”

“Sure. All the time. But …” Then he stopped. “Wait. Is that like teacher secret code for saying they’d like to say other stuff but can’t so go find it out ourselves?”

“Got it without even a struggle,” I told him with a wink. “History professors at the university level are not so restricted but even they only have a limited amount of time to teach with, so they have to prioritize facts and concepts.”

“Bummer.”

“Yes, it is. But there are some great documentaries on YouTube.”

Frankie said, “I like YouTube! Do you think we could find a show on birds in the places we are going? That would be cool to see on the big screens in your cabin.”

“I’ll look. We’ll just have to see whether I can download them for off-line viewing. The wifi is good enough for texting and emails but is rather … lacking … when it comes to streaming data. And even my phone plan wants to choke the transmission speed on anything other than the most basic apps and communication features.”

“I’ll help him. I’ve got an app for that and Grandmother upgraded my wifi connection so I can keep up with things.” I accepted Nicholas’ offer, and tried not to be jealous of the upgraded wifi; but, I would keep an eye on what was downloaded and if it was age-appropriate. YouTube has become so infested with clickbait and inappropriate garbage over the last couple of years that many professors will no longer allow anything from there to be used as a source for citation; you have to cite the original source.

Next on our tour was Tron Kirk, a once beautiful church that has become dilapidated as people bicker over its ultimate fate. For now, it houses a flea market of all things. I tried not to be disgusted at how low a once sanctified building had fallen, but that is my worldview; one not necessarily shared by other people. Going inside we found there were several kiltmakers with the boys egging each other on to try one and then trying to tease Vit to do it. I told the two, “You should look up what our ancestors once wore before thinking that a kilt would bother him.” That gave them both something to think about and Vit said, “Thank you. I think.” At my too innocent shrug he gave a real smile, a rarity on his stoic face.

I tried to get them to go along while I looked in the John Knox house, not thinking they would have any interest. Instead Vit insisted that they too look about. It is the oldest building on the Royal Mile having been built in 1490. John Knox, the Protestant Reformer, lived there in the 16th Century and the house is now cared for by the Church of Scotland.

Since he insisted on coming into the John Knox House, I insisted on following them into a store called the Heritage of Scotland where they went “ga-ga” over something called a Sgian-dubh. I speak multiple languages and I don’t think even I can say the word properly. It was nearly as bad as trying to speak Welsh. My mouth may not be set up to speak the Celtic languages … but it is still fun trying.

A sgian-dubh is a single-edged knife worn as a piece of the popular Scottish Highland dress together with the kilt. The knife is usually worn so as only the upper segment of the hilt is noticeable, the rest being tucked into the top of the kilt hose. It is used as a ceremonial item of dress, not as a self-defense weapon. Still, they were very lovely, most of them qualifying as works of art all on their own. Their price tags on the other hand left them pretty much out of touch for the average person … or even for boys with hefty allowances from over-indulgent families.

The boys started to be starved but didn’t see anything that thrilled either one of them until I looked on my phone and found that there was a Farmer’s Market within walking distance. They’d enjoyed that when we did it in London and voted a loud Yes to go give it a try.

There weren’t meals but there were plenty of fruit stands as well as “tablet” and shortbread. Tablet is a sweet that I would call a fudge though more grainy than creamy. I surprised them all by buying several bottles of Cairn O'Mohr Wine to take back to the ship. The label makes wines from flowers, fruits, and herbs instead of grapes. I looked at them and said, “My sister and her husband operate a microbrewery and about five years ago started making small batches of wine. This will help them compare theirs to European labels.”

“But you don’t drink,” Nicholas said perplexed.

“Correction. You haven’t seen me drink because I haven’t since I came to be Frankie’s tutor.”

“But … isn’t your family all … you know … church-y and stuff?”

“Church-y?”

“You know what I mean.”

Unfortunately, I was indeed aware of the stereotype. “Momma was a teetotaler … she didn’t drink, by choice and for her own reasons. A couple of her brothers and their children … did not use good sense with regard to alcohol. Poppa was middle of the road. It depended on the company he was with and the occasion. Mostly they didn’t keep it in the house because they were foster parents and some of the kids came from homes with issues, if they didn’t already have issues themselves. Derrick is more like Momma though given his wife’s family he had to loosen up a little, but he is very strict about people below the age of 25 using anything that can affect the chemistry of the brain.”

“Huh?”

Explaining the scientific basis for my brother’s prejudice I told them, “Our brain does not stop physically developing until we are about 25 years of age. Anything psychotropic in nature introduced into the system before that age runs the risk of altering our brain chemistry or physical structure and creating … issues. This could include, depending on genetics if current studies are to be believed, alcohol consumption.”

Frankie told his brother, “Maybe you can use that with Grandmother.”

Thoughtfully Nicholas said, “Maybe. The coaches were always going on and on and on about making sure everything we put in our bodies increased our abilities as athletes.” I left him to work it out. I’ve said all I’m going to say on that subject.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 11: Sep 10 – Rosyth (Edinburgh), Scotland, UK (Part 3)

Our last “stop” of the day was at Holyrood Palace and Holyrood Park. The Palace tours were full up but so were we if you want to know the truth, and the boys needed to blow off some steam at the park. Nicholas and Vit soon found themselves involved in a casual soccer … excuse me “football” … game. Frankie looked a little forlorn until I casually snuck out a drawing pad and the soft pencils he shows a preference for on the ship.

“Miss Veta!”

I laughed at his restored humor and spent some time taking pictures. Suddenly from the corner of my eye I spot something coming at me. “Oomph!” I said catching it just in time and then sending it spinning back the direction it had come.

The girl who’d thrown it said, “Sorry! The damn thing never goes where I want it to!”

Ignoring her language because it was mild compared to what I normally heard on campus I said, “Thumb on top, index on the side, three on the bottom … then stand at a 90-degee angle to where you’re throwing it. And make sure you curl your wrist.”

“Oy! Show me that again?”

It was a group of girls about Nicholas’ age and soon enough they’d figured it out. I turned to find my three companions staring at me like they’d never seen me before. “What?”

Nicholas said, “You threw a frisbee.”

“No. It was a hot dog.” The look on Nicholas’ face made Frankie laugh and it broke the tableau they’d become. “Honestly, do you think I was birthed a tutor with a piece of chalk in one hand and a slide rule in the other? I did have a life at one point.”

“Did you?” Vit asked strangely.

“Yes. And so did you. It was just a frisbee for heaven’s sake.” Looking at my watch. “Unless you want to walk all the way back up to Edinburgh Castle to wait for the last shuttle, we’d best get over to the pick-up point on the other side of the parking lot.”

Everyone on the shuttle was talking amongst themselves obviously having had a good day. A couple of the older men pulled their hats down over their eyes but by and large there was a lot of energy. Back on the ship I prepared for the evening to be the same as the others but was then handed a note by the front desk to have Frankie ready for dinner tonight. There was a special performance and he could sit with “Nickie and Mr. D. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Trying not to let any personal feelings show I turned to Frankie with a big smile and said, “Guess what? You got a golden ticket.”

“Huh?”

“Guess who gets to go to see the ornithologist?”

“Me? Really?!” he asked excitedly.

“You. Really. Let’s go get you washed up so you can be ready for Nicholas to pick you up for dinner.”

“You won’t be there?”

“Guys night out. And let’s use that satchel so you can take your sketches.”

Slightly embarrassed he tried to demure. “Oh no one wants to see …”

“You’ll never know until you try. Hup hup. Head ‘em up and move ‘em out.”

I dropped him at his cabin door. “You know the drill.”

“Slacks and button down, no tie, socks that match.”

I made a funny face and said, “Yes. Please. Not strips on one foot and polka dots on the other like last time.”

He laughed and the excitement of seeing a speaker from the British Trust for Ornithology outweighed his normal nervousness. I was nearly at my cabin when I heard, “Miss Veta?”

I turned to find Nicholas. “Yes?”

“Did … I mean … aren’t you …?”

Being completely calm I said, “You and Mr. D are going to take Frankie tonight. Please don’t let him get too wound up. And no midnight bedtime if you can manage it.”

He nodded, turned away, and then turned back. “I’m going to say something to Grandmother. This isn’t right.”

“Nicholas, I don’t want you to say anything. Understand?”

“But …”

“Nothing. My job is during the day. At night is family time.”

Trying not to confuse him more than he was obviously feeling I said, “I took this job. I’m lucky I have it. I’m experiencing things I would never have gotten to … at least not this way. And I’m enjoying being your brother’s tutor. That’s what I am. I am not a passenger or tourist in the … let’s call it what it is. I am your grandmother’s employee. I serve my purpose and that should be my focus. Now thank you for caring but please don’t imagine yourself some renegade Bolshevik trying to change the social order of things. That kind of carnage and upheaval no one needs. When you are older you can choose to do things your way. Until then, we do them your grandmother’s way.”

He snorted and said, “Everything is always Grandmother’s way.”

Worried where my words might have led I said, “Nicholas, she deserves more respect than that statement is giving her.”

“But …”

“No buts. You should go get dressed. And please, look after your brother. Especially if the Crankstons are around.”

He nodded and then turned and left so I could finally enter the cabin. Knowing Vit would soon need to dress for dinner I decided to wait to change clothes and instead put away my purchases from the day – the wine is set aside with the Steward until we get to the US and I can ship it from there to Angelia – and then walked back out to find Vit reading the note.

I told him, “I didn’t make a mistake.”

“What?”

I repeated, “I didn’t make a mistake. If you don’t want to keep an eye on Frankie …”

“Nii. I have already told you, I do not question your professionalism.” I wanted to say but you do question my character but didn’t as I knew, even as I thought it, that it was petty and unproductive. He then tossed the note from Miss Hayworth in disgust back onto the table. “I needed to see for myself.”

“I told you that …”

“Not that part … the part where you were essentially told to ‘remain belowstairs’ like some servant.”

I shrugged. “I am a servant, though that is a bit archaic a term. And I’ve already had this discussion with Nicholas so don’t you start.”

“He … has something to say?”

“Unfortunately yes. I told him when he becomes the authority in charge then he can make his own choices … similar or dissimilar from his grandmother. But in this situation, she is the one in charge and we’ll abide by her edicts. She who pays the bills must be obeyed.”

“You told him that?!”

“Not in those exact words of course. I actually told him not to be a Bolshevik as we don’t need the chaos and bloodshed.”

Even more shocked he said, “What?! You did not.”

I snorted. “Yes I did.” Then shrugged. “Perhaps it will be the motivation he needs to start growing up a little more. Or at least be a bit more self-examining concerning his actions and their consequences.”

Doubtfully he gave his own version of a shrug and said, “Perhaps.”

“I asked Nicholas to keep an eye on Frankie but will you …”

“Of course. And do not worry about those Crankstons. They are in the bar holding court … or trying to.”

“Oh dear.”

“Do not worry about it. This is a small passenger group – only 930 – as far as modern cruise ships go, but it is certainly a large enough population that cliques can form without creating … hmmm … chaos and bloodshed.”

“Fine. Each to his own but I don’t want Frankie – or Nicholas for that matter – to get caught between such groups over something they can’t control such as ageism or my employment.”

“Veta …”

Trying to forestall what I thought was pity I told him, “I have some autonomy with Frankie during the day. Night is just a job. Do you hear me complaining?”

“No. I hear excuses and rationalizations.” When I refused to rise to the bait he said, “This is ridiculous. The entire boat is full of elites … yet not all of them are elitist. Some appear to be quite open minded. I had thought better of Fraulein Hayworth.”

“She is every bit as constrained by issues of employment as we are. She may be a ‘friend’ and companion for Madam, but she also gets a paycheck from her. It is a tightrope. So, she errs on the side of caution and Madam’s wishes. I don’t hold it against her. I’m doing my best not to hold anything against anyone. I signed on knowing this was a job, it is beyond foolish for me to suddenly start to feel I should be treated as someone paying my own way. Now I will get out of your way, so you can dress for dinner.”

“Veta?”

“Yes?”

“It … it is pleasant that we are speaking once again.”

I took a deep breath and said, “Yes it is.”

And I suppose … no, I admit … that is true. But I will also write here where no one else will see that there is a constraint now that wasn’t there before. A choice on my part, perhaps on Vit’s as well. Professor Danbury’s warning of keeping a professional distance rings truer with each day. One day I may even be forced to make myself do it with Frankie but for now, he is what makes this job worth doing. And speaking of the job, I need to get busy on my paperwork. I just hope that I can keep my mind on the work and stop worrying about things (and people) that I can’t do anything about.

​

[1] List of closes on the Royal Mile - Wikipedia

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 12: Sep 11 – The Highlands (Invergordon), Scotland, UK

Today Frankie and I explored the northern most point of Scotland in the Highlands. Okay, Frankie and I and the other passengers on our excursion, but I’m amazed to find that many of the passengers seem to think that adding Frankie to the party makes it more enjoyable as they see the wonder of what is around them, not with the jaded eyes of age and experience but through the wonder and freshness in the eyes of a child. Or some such romantic rubbish. I suppose I do as well, but I would sound silly saying it since I’m not even a quarter century old. Maybe that’s why Momma said that Poppa and Derrick liked to have me along on their trips, it kept them from getting jaded and feeling old. Or maybe it reminded them why they did the work they chose to do. Most people that weren’t intimately aware of my place in the family and how I had arrived there just thought I was spoiled. Even some in the family questioned my place in it and my parents’ and brother’s methods of raising me. Lena certainly does, even after having her own place in the raising of me. I received an email from her about Derrick, but I’m still digesting it. For now, I will stick to recounting today’s adventure.

Inverness is the largest city and cultural capital of the Scottish Highlands. In Gaelic it means “mouth of the Ness River”. Locally some call it Inversnicky which Frankie liked so well I had to ask him nicely to stop using it in every sentence and trying to make a pun out of it every chance he got.

The city sits astride the Ness at the spot where the river meets the Moray Firth, at the northern end of the Great Glen. On a shuttle, we drove by Inverness Cathedral, Eden Court Theater and Inverness Town House—one of the city’s most impressive and historic buildings – and where we were given free time to explore on our own and browse the shops. We also had the chance to admire views of Inverness Castle. Built in the 1830s on the original site of several castles dating as far back as the 11th century, the castle is renowned for its role in the legendary Shakespeare tragedy Macbeth. Nicholas surprised us all – yes, he and Vit were with us again – by reciting a good portion of one of Macbeth’s scenes. He even managed to impress Vit who said, “Obviously you will not have difficulty memorizing the Periodic Table for your chemistry CLEP test.”

Frankie told me a secret later that I’m debating telling Vit. Frankie says that Nicholas is much smarter than he likes people to know because he is afraid they will want him to take a heavy academic load which will preclude him from playing soccer. He wants to be a professional player, not a professor or other type of academician. Poor Nicholas.

I had thought to reboard the ship for a quick lunch, but Nicholas asked if we could have lunch from a deli as we have in the past. I looked at Vit and he left the decision up to me. I remembered the debit card in my pocket – the one that Madam had loaded funds on for Frankie to have in London and I wondered if the card would work here. It did, and I paid for our lunch that way. Plus, a package of shortbread and small bottle of heather-honey that we shared. I’ve added the expense to my weekly report. I hope there is no objection to it as I noted it gave us an opportunity to test items from the local economy to further both brothers’ experience of the area. We were no sooner finished with our meal than the bus for our excursion to Loch Ness and Urquhart Castle arrived.

I remember when I was in middle school one of Angelia’s kids became fascinated with the Loch Ness monster. I’d go to babysit and we’d have to sit and watch the craziest documentaries and “mystery of history” type shows. Well today I got to see the “real” Loch Ness monster and I got the giggles worse than I have in a good long while. We stopped at Steve Feltham’s spot on the beach around Loch Ness. He’s a “legendary Nessie hunter” and supports himself off-season as an artist. Well he put this head of a dinosaur in the water and frankly I have no idea why I found it so funny, but I did. Frankie bless him bought one of Mr. Feltham’s little sculptures that had a large pink “Nessie” and a small blue “Nessie” and told me that it was us.

We also visited Urquhart Castle, a strategic stronghold in the Highlands … or what was left of it anyway. It is positioned on the banks of Loch Ness, which would have been a main route through the Great Glen that divides the Highlands. We had a knowledgeable local guide, but the castle was little more than ruins and incredibly busy with late season tourists. Urquhart Castle dates back in written records to the 6th century, but in archaeology and folklore, it dates all the way back to the time of the Picts. The castle’s long history came to an end in 1692, when the castle was blown up to avoid it falling into Jacobite hands. All that remains are ruins, though I admit they are picturesque ones, as it is all but surrounded by Loch Ness.

We also saw the Clava Cairns and Culloden Battlefield. Frankie was happy to see a “Red Kite” which is a bird of prey native to the Black Isle area. And with that done we quickly headed back to the ship, boarded, and were given the all clear to unmoor and head back to sea.

No invitation tonight and Frankie seemed content with it to be that way as he wanted to watch a YouTube that Nicholas had downloaded for him – an excellent choice actually and I plan on telling him so – and to try copying a postcard that he had purchased. He had also collected a small sand and pebble sample with Mr. Feltham’s permission and used the microscope. I excused him from the evening mile-constitutional since our excursions had a decent amount of walking in them but otherwise, I had a regular evening. Up to that point.

I waited until after he went to bed to open my email and I am glad that I did. Lena’s email was rather brusque. Scatch that, it was politely nasty. You could tell she was irritated that I’d been informed of Derrick’s health without her permission. She went out of her way to make sure that I knew I wasn’t to tease him about it or even hint that I knew. My reply to her took a lot longer than normal to form. I didn’t want it being used against me at some point in the future.

Lena, stop blaming the others. I guessed something was up when Derrick stopped corresponding or even commenting on the pictures that I was posting. And no, I didn’t deliberately upset him by failing to do so recently. The internet connection is not always sufficient to do so in an instantaneous fashion, the responsibilities of my position also sometimes preclude me from doing it. I am hurt at your assumption that I would ever do anything to intentionally endanger Derrick’s health. To the contrary, I decided, upon learning of the true state of affairs to abide by your explicit wishes and stop, as you call it, “pestering” Derrick for his attention. He will respond when and if he wishes to do so and it is my responsibility to respect that. My only concern has ever been for Derrick, as well as you and the boys. I am hoping that it is merely your worry for your husband, my brother, that has made you assume otherwise. If I am wrong in this, I had thought we’d worked that out after Poppa died and if we did not, I wish you would just say so instead of feeling you must hold back your feelings. It isn’t healthy, especially now when you have so much on your shoulders. I am not going to go to Derrick with this. I leave that up to you. You can inform him that I know, or not, when you feel he is up to it. Thank you for letting me know how things really stand.
Yours, Yelysaveta.

I know the email sounds a little harsh, but I do have my pride. I BCC’d it to Angelia so that someone at home would know I’d tried to discourage Lena from striking out at the others in my place. Derrick can make of it what he wishes if she, or Lena, even shows it to him at some point. I miss my brother, he’s always been there for me. Maybe too much. Maybe he sacrificed time for me that he should have been giving to his own nuclear family. But I’ll admit this once and then no more, because there is no profit in digging up bones that have already been buried at least once. Lena has always made sure that she has raised the boys more like her side of the family than ours. She loves Derrick, of that I have no doubt, but she never tried to really understand my parents or the way they chose to live their lives. I know that early on she even questioned the other children in the family being near me until they were certain that I didn’t need to be quarantined, and she was the last one to admit that my mental acuity was not as compromised as had been assumed when I was first adopted. When I was younger, I simply accepted it as the fact that it was. As I grew older, I realized Momma tried to shield me from some of it, but Poppa was not so generous to her and would sometimes tell Derrick he “needed to do something.”

Only once did Derrick ever broach the subject with me directly and it was not a comfortable conversation for either of us. It happened my Freshman year of college when I was having trouble adjusting to being away from everyone and still grieving for Poppa and Momma. He asked me to call him at the practice instead of at home. I asked him innocently why and he explained that he and Lena were having some marital issues … and then reluctantly admitted that I was one of the issues. When she found out I was still calling, just to a number she had no way to control, she was furious and called me up saying some hurtful things. I dealt with it, but it took time to forget. It looks like maybe she never did. It was Lena that introduced me to Robert’s family … and I’m going no further down that thought trail. What’s done is done. I just don’t want to lose my brother … to ill health or over this unnecessary drama. If I must change then so be it. It won’t be the only lesson in humility that I’ve learned with this job.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 13: Sep 12 – Shetland Islands (Lerwick), Scotland, UK

Oh my gosh I am so sore! But I am also laughing at myself and feeling giddy. It has been too long since I rode a horse and the rather expected parts of my anatomy are complaining. However, it was worth it to see Vit’s mouth fall open. Frankie even got a picture of his amazement. I asked him to please delete the photo … after getting a copy of it for myself.

We combined two tours into one since our guide serviced both and all the people in the first excursion were also on the second. Instead of going back to the ship we saved some time, grabbed a bite to eat from a local market, and with that extra time came a treat.

As soon as we were off the ship we loaded onto a bus and started sightseeing, ostensibly to allow the grass to dry a bit. During one of the photos stops we were treated to panoramic vistas from above Scalloway Castle overlooking the harbor below. The castle was built in 1600 and was commission by Earl Patrick Stewart, a tyrant of his time. Next, we traveled north through the Tingwall Valley, with its Norse heritage, and headed through the peat- and heather-covered landscape to Girlsta, with its beautiful fresh water lochs and hillside scenery. From there we drove through Whiteness on the Atlantic coast to Wormadale for the chance to photograph many of the islands of the Shetland archipelago. We heard more about Shetland culture and heritage than I even knew existed.

After stopping at a village market, we next were off to a Shetland pony breeder and enthusiast. Small ponies have existed in the Shetland Islands for over 2,000 years. Various archaelogical excavations have revealed the bones of small ponies that lived during the Bronze Age; the ponies are thought to have been in domestic use since this time. The ponies were gorgeous but too small to be ridden, at least by adults; they are more of a cart animal. The breeder wasn’t just enthusiastic about his ponies, he also had several other breeds he was proud of. We were listening to him wax eloquent when I must have gotten too close to the fence and felt a sharp tug from behind.

Having nephews fond of that trick I didn’t think, simply turned and wound up almost face to face with a chestnut beauty. One of the handlers hurried forward, “Oh Miss … he doesn’t mean any harm.”

I was immediately smitten. “He’s dreamy.”

The tone in my voice startled Vit who said, “You are okay?”

Enthralled with the horse staring just as intently back at me I explained, “It’s a Don. It’s a real Don.”

The breeder came over and asked, “You recognize the breed?”

“I used to ride them before the horse farm owner passed away and his wife moved back to Europe.”

Frankie laughed. “The horse is kissing you Miss Veta!”

“Horse slobber is good luck,” I said as I paid the attention to the horse he’d come looking for.

The breeder asked, “Do you still ride?”

“When I can but it has been a couple of months. Oh he’s gorgeous.”

“Aye. And saddled. Ye care to show the good people what makes a Don different from your average pony?”

I looked at the breeder and his eyes were twinkling with mischief, and I couldn’t help but answer it. Yikes. The horse was strong, and it has been a while since I’ve done more than ride for pleasure, but I put him through his paces … and my backside as well.

I was laughing on the bus and Vit asked, “What?”

“I am soooo going to pay for this tomorrow. But it was worth every aching muscle I know is coming.”

“So … you can ride.”

Letting him know why I told him, “When I was small and still learning to operate in a world so different from what I’d known, Momma found a rehabilitation class for me to attend. It was on a horse farm and I was less scared of the big horses than I was of all the strange people and sounds I was seeing and hearing for the first time. And the horses tolerated me better than they naturally should have. Until my senior year I would spend at least one day a week riding, or if I couldn’t ride I would at least go to a stable to pay some attention to a horse.” Shrugging sadly I said, “After Momma got sick there was less time but I don’t regret it. After Poppa followed her there was less money. Derrick paid for me to keep at it until I moved out and college started but … sometimes you have to pick your priorities. I still rode when I could, even taking a seasonal job at a stable to pay for it, but when I started my master’s program … it was what it was.”

“Hm,” was his only comment.

I was already feeling my excess of pride by the time we got off the bus but all I could do was laugh about it. Those who saw me wince at least laughed with me rather than at me. But I will admit that I was grateful that Frankie was ready to go to bed a little earlier than normal although now I kind of regret not taking our constitutional to walk off some of the stiffness I am not feeling. I think all the fresh air did him in. I do wish that there was more opportunity for physical activity than we’ve had. I think both Frankie and I would benefit from it. But his early bedtime is giving me time to catch up on my work so that is what I better start doing … after I take another Tylenol.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 14: Sep 13 – Bergen, Norway (Day 1)

Today officially marks two weeks since the cruise started and nearly a month since I started this job. Time flies. It seems that it is impossible that so many days have passed and at the same time it seems I have been doing this much longer. And just as I become used to things being a certain rhythm they change. We are spending three days in the same port … Bergen, Norway to be exact. I think part of the reason is so that members of the crew can visit family or some such. Or I am overthinking it and it is merely the way it is.

I was every bit as sore this morning as I thought I was going to be. Getting the giggles is terrible. Trying to get out of bed without waking Vit was impossible.

“Are you in need of assistance?” he asked groggily.

“Unfortunately yes,” I moaned and giggled at the same time.

He tried not to smile at my predicament but we both found it rather silly. He reached over and allowed me to use his arm as a pulley and I finally made it upright … or as close to upright as I was going to get until I limbered up.

“Should you exercise in this state?”

“I won’t be running that’s for sure,” I told him trying not to squeak when I accidentally backed into the chair in front of vanity in the closet. I sighed. “And you might as well go ahead and allow the laughter out. You are starting to sound congested.”

And with that he couldn’t hold it back. “You are incorrigible. You will drive me to drink with your surprises. And yet here I am laughing.”

“Laughter is good for the soul … much better than drinking your problems away. Give me a moment.”

“Veta seriously, should you be exercising?”

“I’m just going to do some Pilates to try and stretch the kinks out.”

“Then do them in the living area,” he said sitting up. “If my recollection is correct, the weather this time of year in Norway can be unkind if you are not acclimated to it.”

“Noticed that I’m not a polar bear have you?”

“That was never a problem I assure you.”

Sticking my head out the sliders – it was in the 40s F!! – I decided to do as Vit suggested and it for the most part worked giving me the idea that I might be able to exercise in the evenings as well. I usually get in a zone when I am exercising, and this morning was no exception. When my body said stop, I listened and looked over and then jumped when I spotted Vit drinking a cup of tea and watching me.

“You should have said something, and I would have gotten out of your way.”

“You are not in my way. May I ask what that scar is?”

I knew exactly what he meant. It was the jagged one at my waist where my tank top had ridden up. I tugged the shirt down and said a little self consciously, “I got mugged my Freshman year of university.”

“What?! And did your brother have nothing to say about it?”

“You sound just as outraged as Derrick was at the time, but the fact is you can’t stop something that has already happened. Besides, you should have seen the other guy. He picked the wrong two girls to attack.”

“Two?”

“We always buddied up when walking to night classes or out to the parking lot. The other girl’s name was Caren and she had three older brothers that all played football and she could hold her own with them. I wound up having to stop her from strangling the guy with the call box phone cord. She did bring the mouth piece down on his head a couple of times.”

“Being mugged is no cause for levity,” he said sternly.

“It is laugh about it or … it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Derrick almost made me quit school and come home when he had been the one to encourage me the most to go. It came at a bad time.” At his questioning look I shrugged. “Just family stuff. Mostly I needed to grow up for Derrick’s sake as much as my own. The mugging incident as I refer to it was a set back for both of us in that respect.”

He snorted. “You were still just a baby.”

Outraged on my own behalf I said, “I was almost nineteen!”

“As I said.”

Remembering my arguments with some of my siblings at the time I said, “Depends on the culture. In some that age is well into spinsterhood.”

He made a face and left to make sure the boys were awake while I went to shower and dress for the day. After breakfast we enjoyed a relaxing tour by motor coach of the main sites in Bergen.

Founded in 1070 AD, Bergen features many historic sites including the medieval King Haakon’s Hall, the Rosenkrantz Tower, the picturesque wooden buildings at Bryggen, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, a bustling fish market, and the Nordnes Peninsula with its 19th-century white painted wooden houses. I was glad the bus ride was long as even getting off the bus for a photo stop at Nordnes and to admire the views over Bergen Harbor made my muscles sing.

Bergen was once the capital city of Norway. Norwegian kings resided here, and many historic events took place in the port. It owed its wealth and prominence to the fish export trade, which has been the economic heart of the town since the Middle Ages. Our guide told interesting stories about Bergen’s colorful past as we toured through the streets of Norway’s second-largest city.

I had prepared to have a few hours for lessons but a note at the Front Desk left for Vit instructed he and Nicholas to take Frankie and I on their next tour in their place with their apologies for “abandoning them” but they’d been invited to lunch and dinner by an old friend of Madam’s that had driven into the city to see them.

Frankie said, “Probably one of her old boyfriends. Mother says she has a lot of them.”

“Frankie Marchand!” I scolded.

Nicholas just laughed and said, “It’s all right Miss Veta. Grandmother says the same thing herself. Grandfather died when Father was pretty young. She said she would never love another enough to marry them, but she wasn’t ready to be lonely either. I’ve met some of the old guys. They’re nice and still think Grandmother is someone pretty special.”

“Mother says she’s special all right.”

I put my handover Frankie’s mouth and said, “Not another word. I think we need to have a discussion about what is polite and what is none of our business and certainly not our place to repeat comments made by adults. And that goes for you as well Nicholas. What your grandmother wishes to comment on concerning her past is her right. You two on the other hand … no. It sounds too close to being disrespectful. Understand?”

I looked at Frankie with the arched brow I learned from Momma and he nodded so I removed my hand. I looked at Nicholas, but he turned to Vit and asked, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Sardonically he said, “You will learn if you wish to enjoy the fruits of manhood that when a woman gets that look on her face, you would do best to listen. I believe it is not the first time that she has warned the two of you that you are bordering on being disrespectful. My guess is if it happens one more time there may be more serious consequences than a simple reminder. Or have you forgotten the threat of seeing that dancing lessons sounded like a good suggestion to make to your grandmother?”

As the memory slammed home Nicholas suddenly stood straight as a hussar and said, “Ma’am, yes Ma’am Miss Veta.”

I rolled my eyes and asked Vit if there was time for lunch and he looked at his watch and said, “We should get to the pick-up point on the pier to sign in and make sure Frankie’s age is not an issue. You have the legal papers?”

I keep our passports and the papers that give me oversight of Frankie’s care on my person at all times and patted my pocket to assure him that today was no exception.

The activity, as I was to find out, was an exciting one. We were to take a scenic seaplane trip over the fjords of Bergen and its mountain scenery. After signing in we were taken on a short transfer to the charming town of Sandviken. We met our pilot and stepped on board a Cessna four-passenger plane to experience the thrill of takeoff from the water. It was gorgeous despite the stomach-churning turns and dips. We soared over the white, snow-capped mountains and viewed the beautiful fjords from above. We also flew over the stunning Hardangerfjord, blue glacier lakes and Folgefonna—one of the biggest glaciers in Norway. On our return flight, we flew over Mount Ulriken and the city of Bergen and got to see our cruise ship docked in the harbor. I took an incredible number of pictures with my phone though some did not turn out as well as I hoped due to reflection on the plane windows.

Our guide suggested a local bakery as an alternative to returning all the way back to the ship and then to allow him to drop us off directly at the next shuttle. We agreed despite finding out the bakery belonged to his sister and brother in law, it was still a good choice. In addition to things that could be eaten immediately, I got a supply of reindeer jerky, chocolate licorice as well as some candies unique to Norway. I was glad to get something on my stomach to soften the punch of the naproxen I took for the muscle aches.

On the next excursion we saw Bergen both up close and from a bird’s-eye perspective. Since it was another small group our guide could give us a more personal view of things as we passed sites such as the medieval Bergen Fortress at the entrance to the harbor; then Bryggen, the picturesque wharf that helped put Bergen at the center of the Hanseatic League. For a wider view of this beautiful city, we ascended Mt. Fløien via a funicular railway. A funicular is a kind of railway that runs up a steep hill or mountainside. It is basically just two cars that act as a counterbalance for one another. One car goes up in direct proportion to the other car coming down. It’s pretty cool and made for a great physics lesson for Frankie.

From the summit, some 984 feet above sea level, the views we got of Bergen’s seaside setting were spectacular. Thankfully we had some free time to take it all in and it also gave me time to take pictures of the brothers together and singly to send to their parents as well as Madam. Back in the city, we visited the Hanseatic Museum, located in two historic trading houses. It had exhibits in it that illustrated how merchants in the region traded fish and grain as a way of life. For a more modern perspective, we called on the Bergen Theater and the modern Grieg Hall, named for Norwegian composer Edvard Grieg. Then there was a scenic drive around the Nordnes Peninsula to cap things off before returning to the ship.

It had been a lovely day and I would not have been the least disappointed to leave it there and return to the cabin but that’s when Nicholas said, “Mr. D? Do you really feel like being around a lot of people?”

Momentarily concerned Vit asked, “Are you not feeling well?”

“If I say I’m not can we do Room Service with the Squirt and Miss Veta?”

Vit caught on quickly. “Ah, as to that, I believe we should take this evening and review some points on the lessons your Grandmother suggested. We can do them just as well during dinner as afterwards. Assuming Miss Veta and Frankie do not mind sharing their lesson space.”

And that is why I sit here working on this journal entry staring at three sets of sock-covered feet propped up on the divan long after the movie they were watching has ended. Of course, the sock-covered feet are attached to bodies well into slumber. I’d leave them to it if I dared but even if I’m beginning to once again look at all of them like brothers, the proprieties must be observed. I have no idea if I am being silly or not, but Madam strikes me as the kind of person that could very well have someone watching us in her absence.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 15: Sep 14 – Bergen, Norway (Day 2)

After hearing Vit’s summation of his and Nicholas’ day I felt a little guilty for the enjoyment that Frankie and I had during ours. They were to have the day to explore the city on their own and for exercising, but Madam Marchand decided she wanted to show Nicholas off to some of her connections in the city. Nicholas was well behaved but rebelliously refused to join them for dinner once back on the ship. Vit tried to explain to Madam that her grandson was used to much more physical activity than he was getting. He had been a good sport about the day for her sake, but there was going to be the occasional rebellion. When he was telling me he said Madam looked angry for a moment and then actually laughed and said Nicholas’ pout reminded her of her brothers and for Vit not to chastise him for it. She’d have to see that he got out and about more.

Thinking of the males in my own family I asked Vit, “Did she not understand that she is part of the problem? That Nicholas needs more autonomy than she is granting him? He’s eighteen.”

“Baby steps,” was all he said on the subject. “And most of those, one step forward and three steps back.” I could see the mild disgust on his face but didn’t feel I could take the conversation any further, and since he didn’t the matter was set aside.

Frankie and I had a much better day. First, we ventured into the nearly pristine countryside that lies outside of Bergen to witness life on a traditional Norwegian farm. With a guide we drove through vistas of soaring mountains and tranquil lakes to the idyllic working farm at Øvre Eide, nestled on Jordal Lake; a beautiful spot worth the drive all on its own. Here, surrounded by green fields and magnificent scenery, the owner greeted us and led us on a relaxed and leisurely guided tour of his property. Along the way, we paused several times as he shared the farm’s history and local heritage and provided some insight into the evolving ways of farming in Norway. We also meet some of the animals typically found on Nordic farms, from fjord horses to spel sheep. Then we were invited into the beautiful main house for freshly made almond pralines, pastries with berries and cream and to drink we had natural fruit juice, coffee, tea or hot chocolate. The refreshments were very welcome as the cold and fresh air made us all very hungry.

Our next activity started too far from the ship to go back there for lunch so after some humorous attempts with google translate I was lucky enough to run into a couple of university students on holiday that spoke Spanish. From English to Spanish to Norwegian and back again and I managed to get the directions to a local version of a sandwich shop and an ATM machine. At the machine I was able to get a small supply of Norwegian Krones and then at the sandwich shop I finally got Frankie a sandwich and me a cup of hot chai tea. What I was too embarrassed to explain to Frankie was that I wasn’t sure of the exchange rate of money so didn’t wish to over-spend. I knew there would be no objection to feeding Frankie, I was not so sure of myself at that point.

I was a little uncertain of Frankie’s reception of our next excursion, but he did very well. In his words, “It was more interesting than some of the dorky field trips my old school made us go on. The one to the funeral parlor was really stupid and seeing the crematorium was just weird-freaky.” Well. Just what kind of school had he attended for heaven’s sake?

Our excursion was to visit to one of Norway’s few remaining textile centers to see how the iconic Norwegian sweaters are made. We first enjoyed an hour-long scenic drive to the village of Dale, nestled in a sweeping valley among soaring peaks on the west coast. Once there we spent two hours getting acquainted with the Dale factory, world-renowned for more than just its sweaters. As its source of power, this historic mill harnesses the power of local waterfalls. I managed to sneak in a little math and physics into things much to the humor of the mill supervisor who figured out what I was doing well enough that he helped me pull it off successfully. To the extreme hilarity of some of the men in the group, some of us fell in love with the ugly little troll figures that Norway is famous for. I bought one and Frankie bought a very small one to hide in his treasure box. I also bought a local handicraft called a Rosemeling Pot to hold my supply bobby pins.

The community of Dale developed around the textile industry that it still supports. Today, the entire village embraces a culture that centers around knitting and creating traditional designs. Exclusive garments are made here for sports and fashion, too. And of course, we were given free time to browse and shop before returning to the ship. I bought a scarf even though the price was more than I normally would have spent on such an item.

We were surprised to see Nicholas in the cabin when I was dropping Frankie off. We were also quite taken aback by his sharp rebuke to leave him alone. I asked Frankie to step outside and then I rounded on Nicholas.

“You may be in a foul mood all you wish but do not take it out on your brother.”

“You don’t understand. He gets to have all the fun.”

“Were you not the one reminding me yesterday that you were not a kid anymore?”

‘Like I said, you don’t get it.”

Remember what I felt like at his age I told him, “Oh I get it. It wasn’t all that long ago that I turned eighteen and suddenly found out childhood was over, that people were expecting things from me I wasn’t sure I was ready for. It sucks. And on some days, it hurts. Mostly though it is irritating to feel like you are being pecked at all the time by people telling you about the responsibilities of adulthood and not letting you experience the privileges of that existence.”

Nearly snarling he complained, “Why won’t people just leave me alone?! They used to. I swear I could have tied a steak around my neck and not even the dogs would have noticed me. Now they don’t shut up with instructions, advice, expectations … their instructions, their expectations … how about what I want?!”

Feeling for him I said, “You want to know what I found the most difficult about being an adult?” From under the pillow where he’d buried his head I heard what I took to be an affirmative. “To stop letting people make choices for me. I knew they cared about me and I wanted to please them, and I knew the best way to do that was to meet their expectations. The problem with that is I failed to understand that I needed to have expectations for myself that were my own. At least you’ve gotten that far already. The next part just takes practice. Fulfilling your personal expectations while trying to politely tell the people you care about and who care about you to stuff it.”

He jerked the pillow off and stared at me in shock.

“I know,” I told him with a kind chuckle. “Just do your best to bide your time. We are in a unique situation on this voyage. There’s not a whole lot of places to get away from the things that bother you. Think of it as an opportunity to learn patience and diplomacy as most other people will never experience.”

Back in my cabin is when Vit explained in more detail what was going on. But we both must be careful how we insinuate ourselves into the brothers’ family lives. We can wind up doing more harm than good. The road to hell is paved with good intentions isn’t a phrase that necessarily only applies to Madam.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 16: Sep 15 – Bergen, Norway (Day 3)

Last day in Bergen and it was a fine one to top off our experience. After an unusually early breakfast even sullen Nicholas brightened. It was cool enough that I decided to use the scarf I bought yesterday, and I am glad that I did; it never did get out of the mid-50s. Brrr.

From the pier our transportation drove a short distance to an affluent suburb called Kalfaret. Once there we boarded a cable car – what they referred to as a gondola – for a scenic ascent to Mt. Ulriken, the highest of Bergen’s famous Seven Mountains. We’d already seen it from the air, now we were seeing it from the ground. The views at the summit were nearly indescribable. For our lunch we had a “tea” but instead of crumpets or scones, we had one of the famed Ulriken buns, a cinnamon pastry native to the region. I don’t know if I would have ridden to the top of a mountain to have one but since it was there, I certainly wasn’t going to turn it down. We had a little free time that I once again used to take pictures of the brothers to pass along as well as some incredible panoramic shots of my own.

After free time we took the gondola in reverse to go back to the city and then to board the ship. Nicholas really had no choice but to show up to a sail away party his grandmother was throwing in the Owner’s Suite. I heard from Vit he apologized nicely which is a relief after the way I saw him act last night and this morning. I also heard that the wine steward has silently begun to assist them in limiting the amount of wine that gets poured in Nicholas’ glass. That will certainly help. In this day and age how Madame Marchand cannot be concerned about the issue of underage drinking is beyond me. If this doesn’t work to curb it … not Nicholas but his grandmother … I may suggest the ship’s doctor, though that is dangerous territory to insert myself into.

Our evening was quiet which I gratefully enjoyed. While Frankie worked on a Venn Diagram activity and cataloged a few things he collected to examine under the microscope I tried out doing some yoga relaxation positions. Worked out rather nicely. And now Frankie is off to bed, my paperwork is caught up, and the last of my kinks from the horse ride are gone so I am “gone” to bed. Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 17: Sep 16 – Shetland Island (Lerwick), UK

Today has been … different; I was alone most of it which took some getting used to. It is easy to be brave when I have Frankie with me because I know he needs me to. On my own, things felt decidedly different.

Our port today was Lerwick on the Shetland Islands, where we had stopped before the three days in Norway. Rather than all day excursions Vit took Nicholas and Frankie to board a replica Viking longboat called the Dim Riv. It is authentic despite it being manufactured in 1980 and only uses wind to sail and manpower to support it when the wind is fickle. They got a chance to row in a true Viking travel experience. It wasn’t a long excursion, but it was definitely tiring for both brothers who all but fell asleep during their dinner after recounting their adventure for other passengers during some type of educational program in the theater on Deck 1.

All that being said, to have an entire day to myself felt extremely odd. Yes, I know that there was one something like towards the beginning of the cruise but I’ve grown so used to Frankie being my “wing man” that I was fidgety for a while until I took a turn walking the town, realized I hadn’t missed anything the first time around, and thus returned to the ship for a day of exercise and privacy and to deal with some family correspondence. I also spiked a play by my sister in law that I hope doesn’t set off a feud.

After spending an hour in the gym I found out the pool was heated and had been covered with the dome so I went to swim a few lengths while most passengers were off the ship. I had it to myself nearly the entire time except for the occasional couple that would wander through. Back in the cabin I showered and then figuratively girded my loins for battle. Derrick had left a message for me to call him, leaving a hospital room number which told me that he knew that I knew. The problem was when I tried to call, I was told I was specifically on a list of individuals not allowed access to him. I didn’t give the hospital staff issues over this – they’re just doing their job – but I was furious. I would no more intentionally disobey Derrick than I would Poppa or Momma or Angelia. I had to give myself time to get over my mad before I could come up with my next move and it wound up being a doozy. I called Lena’s parents on the pretext of not wanting to burden her if there was already an emergency.

Dr. Dutton said, “I’ll look into it Veta. I know Derrick told me himself he needed to speak with you. He hadn’t meant for you to find out the way you did. He wanted to tell you himself, but things got … complicated.”

I figured that was a euphemism for Lena’s behavior, so I ignored it and instead asked, “But Derrick and the family are okay?”

“Will be. Derrick had a reaction to the blood thinner. He’s coming around, but they want to make sure there are no more complications before they release him. He’s been sleeping a lot as well. Yesterday was his first full day of being allowed to be up and around. I’ll let him know you called.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to add one more thing to Lena’s plate. I think she is very anxious and stressed out. She did a lot of work to help me get ready for this position and I didn’t realize she was also facing this procedure with Derrick. Had I known I would have figured it out on my own somehow though I’ve appreciated her suggestions more than once already.”

I asked after the boys, the rest of their family, and the Foundation, and then rung off. Then I was in the middle of emailing Angelia when I got a message on another app from Reggie, Derrick’s high school aged son.

“Here at hospital. Dad is okay just really hacked and shook. Grandpop was in the room with Dad when you called him. Didn’t know what to say. Too tired to make sense right now he says but sorry you found out like you did and about some other stuff too. Next part is Top Secret from me to you. Expect Hiroshima to the West when Mom finds out. But don’t worry, not your fault. Mom is going through some female something. Nobody tells us anything so don’t know what it is but heard Mimi and Grandpop talking about it when they didn’t know I was listening. Says she has serious PMS. Doh. Like we couldn’t tell that. What gave it away? The yelling or the crying? Anyway, keep pictures coming, Dad likes ‘em. And ask that kid Frankie if he wants a pen pal. Benji is going nuts over his pictures. They’re both bird crazy. Peace.”

Reggie is sixteen going on sixty but beyond that one of my nephews that is easiest to get along with without wanting to toss him off the end of the dock in gator infested waters. He’s one of the few that has figured out when the practical joke needs to stop before it goes too far. I used to take him riding with me before he started playing Lacross and soccer, and it took up so much of his time.

Email to Angelia finished I needed to de-stress so did yoga. Then a shower. And Room Service for dinner before plowing through the paperwork. You wouldn’t think one student would generate so much but I really want to make sure all bases are covered and that he has a detailed portfolio to take with him when our time is complete. Think for what remains of the evening I’ll veg-out with a documentary or something like that.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 18: Sep 17 – Torshavn, Faroe Islands

If what I heard today is any indication, I believe everyone on board ship is ready for a Sea Day. It seems that we all need to pace ourselves better. The problem for me is that this is likely the last time I will ever be able to do something even close to this and I want to take advantage of every moment that I can. Catch-22. Even Vit, used to a life at sea, nearly took me up on my offer to be the one to take the brothers around today. However, once he was up and moving, he seemed fine though I noticed he nursed a mug of coffee rather than his usual tea. Maybe I will share my secret stash of yerba mate with him and see how he likes it; it isn’t to everyone’s taste.

Today was more Viking legacy as we got to know the Faroe Islands; but, first the mundane facts. The Faroe Islands are an Atlantic archipelago. They are also their own autonomous country within the Kingdom of Denmark. Yes, Denmark. Who knew? They are a relatively young country – founded in 1948 after WW2 – and still only have a population of roughly 51,000 people. It is run as a constitutional monarchy and I’m still not completely sure what that means though I can at least say it is that Denmark’s monarch is also theirs. Wikipedia describes the country as rugged. I have absolutely no problem agreeing with that adjective.

On the excursion today, which included Nicolas and Vit, we saw the spectacular landscapes of Streymoy, rich in Viking lore and fishing culture. It all started with a drive to the rocky Tinganes peninsula in Tórshavn harbor where we were docked. Torshavn was once home to the Viking Parliament and today is host to the islands’ government buildings. Once on the bus we traced the scenic ridgetop road along the southern stretch of Streymoy Island, pausing above Tórshavn for photos. Take the descriptor “ridgetop” very literally. I am not afraid of heights but I must admit that some of Frankie’s curiosity made me a little nervous and I never got more than an arm’s length away from him, and did jerk him back from the edge once, much to his chagrin. We continued to Nororadalur (the North Valley), where, as it was a clear day, we had views of the island of Koltur, another island in the archipelago. Traveling farther north, all of our party goggled at the Kaldbak and Kollafjørdur fjords. Later, twisting roads (very twisty roads) led into a picturesque valley where we stopped to admire the hand-hewn stone salmon ladders leading into Lake Leynar.

Salmon ladders are a way to assist ocean fish to reach their freshwater breeding area. In this case the ladders assist Atlantic Salmon to reach Lake Leynar. There is some controversy of whether fish ladders actually work for the benefit of the fish or man but in this case our guide assured us that it helps both sides of the equation. It is part of the system to keep the salmon from being over-harvested by making sure that more fish can reach the lake to breed. En route back to the ship, our road took us through a two-mile tunnel and along a fjord’s shore, where during the correct season you can see salmon jumping in sea farms.

After an early lunch onboard ship – where too many people glanced my way in confused curiosity as if they were trying to figure out who I was – we left on the afternoon excursion to gain insight into local, daily village life and local Viking heritage. There was a little bit of overlaop between the morning afternoon excursions, but it wasn’t a bad thing since we got to observe the scenery from a different angle.

Our bus drove us along a drive of the coast again to view Kaldbak and Kollafjørður fjords and from there into the valley of Lake Leynar. In Leynar we stopped to visit a local woodturner, who showed us how he worked with his lathe and demonstrated the intricacies of his craft. Next, we continued to the village of Kvívík, site of a 10th-century Viking settlement. It was a bit like a living history museum without the people in costume. We wandered through the farmhouse and byre and took in the serenity of this peaceful place.

I noticed Vit wave the boys on and hang back with me. Then he stretched and breathed in deeply. “I think I would like to live like this some day. What of you?”

Being honest I told him, “A working farm is bucolic but there’s more work to it than this.”

“Yes?”

“I grew up on a small farm until high school when Poppa moved us closer to town so Momma could go to a good pain management clinic on a regular basis.” At his questioning look I explained, “When she was a child she caught a cold and the virus turned on her and she was left with Rheumatoid Arthritis. For a long time it was in remission but as she aged it became more and more problematic. It is one of the reasons that Momma did not travel with Poppa and Derrick and I did. Momma stayed to take care of the home or get a break from me depending on how you look at it; and I went to take care of Poppa and Derrick.”

Naturally curious he asked, “You miss your farm?”

“It is still in the family but needs a lot of work, starting with the house. That is supposed to be my job when this one ends.” I showed him a recent picture of Pembroke House and through his eyes I noticed how dilapidated it has become. “It has been in Momma’s family for a long time … generations.”

“And of your mother’s brothers?”

“Let’s just say that Momma’s Poppa was a stern man that did not like his sons’ fast lifestyle and worried for his daughter with so many children and a husband that gave so much of himself to others in what he considered to be dangerous foreign lands. He left the house to Momma so it wasn’t a burden to his wife, and my uncles died before their mother. They were all gone before I came into the picture.” Thinking to sound less pathetic I showed him the picture I keep on my phone of the last family reunion before Momma got sick for the last time. We had met at Pembroke House and basically covered the front lawn there are so many of us.

“Dyvovyzhnyy,” he whispered moving the picture around with his finger as if he was trying to count us all.

I wasn’t familiar with the word and when he realized it he translated, “It means amazing. There are more people here in your family than there was in the orphanage. If Anichka could have had this …”

“Vit, please don’t do that to yourself. Our family is far from perfect, and some of us have even made choices that … took them away from the family and still keeps them away. Anichka may have been a child in many respects but at the same time she was old enough to know the difference between right and wrong and chose one over the other. You don’t know what would have made a difference because you don’t know what made her make the choices she did in the first place.”

He sighed, and we dropped the subject and after a few moments I could see that he’d put it aside in his mind as well as, and Frankie made for a good distraction when he insisted on saying that Mr. D looked a lot like one of the fictional Vikings portrayed on a fact plaque.

Later we stopped in Kollafjørður to visit an old Faroese church, topped with a turf roof; it is one of nine churches built on the islands from 1830 to 1850. After a little more time to explore, we once again returned to the ship via the two-mile-long tunnel and scenic fjord.

The evening was a quiet one aboard ship. Those that enjoyed the cold sat on deck in loungers under blankets enjoying quiet strains of classical music. Those that preferred warmer settings could be found in the “Library,” the “Viking Living Room,” theater, piano bar, etc. More than a few made an early night of it and the ship was nearly silent on some decks. Vit and Nicholas joined Frankie and I after dinner. They decided to play a video game with the sliders opens and I decided I would prefer to hibernate. It was a fair trade off. Vit has promised to make sure Frankie gets back to his cabin and I am finally going to do what I should have right away … sleep.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 19: Sep 18 – Cruise the Atlantic Ocean

The entire ship seems to be dozing as we sail westward into the Atlantic. Strike that; most of the ship seems to be dozing, it only seems like the entire ship. I think more than half the passengers at any given time were in their cabins sleeping. Everyone was so dozy that even Madam forgot herself enough to invite me to attend one of the enriching onboard lectures on upcoming ports. I also finally got my first, full tour of the ship.

I allowed as how Frankie deserved a day off from school of sorts and he enjoyed himself immensely as he gave Nicholas time to show off as only big brothers who are heroes can. I can’t expect that to be a daily occurrence, but it was nice to see Nicholas make such an effort. I hope he doesn’t take it too far. Frankie insisted on fetching and carrying for his brother a few too many times and I gave Nicholas a look from beneath my lashes to let him know that I noticed. After that things settled down and they went to some kind of action movie together after dinner with Vit there, but only in the background keeping an eye out for shenanigans.

I spoke with Derrick today and he sounded like a cross between fatigue and disgust. He does not like how the new medicine makes him feel. He is also upset for other reasons. I have finally come to the conclusion that my pride is not worth upsetting Derrick over. He and Lena already have enough personal issues to work through … he is less certain of buying the Jackson Farm than she is, among other things. I heard nothing about Lena other than “Yes, she is well” and I didn’t feel I could break Reggie’s confidence to ask about the “female something.” When and if Derrick feels inclined to speak of it, he will. Momma was the same, refusing to share personal information until she was sure. That is why her final illness was such a shock to us all.

At least I am now assured that Derrick is not upset with me and that Benji has permission to become Frankie’s pen pal through the Traveling Marchand page. Frankie will be thrilled as the idea has intrigued him since I first mentioned it … specially to find another person his age that loves birds as much as he does.

Other than that, and the drudgery of a more complete laundry chore, this day has been quiet. Good.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 20: Sep 19 – Reykjavik, Iceland

Reykjavík. I am in Reykjavik. A city I only dreamed of one day seeing when I dared to dream that big. It’s reputation as one of the cleanest and most eco-friendly cities in the world is well deserved from what I witnessed today. Though even here there is said to be a marked difference in the city of today and the city as it was a decade ago. Even the few immigrants that the UN patriated here have significantly affected the overall quality of social services available as they refuse to acclimatize and assimilate themselves to their new surroundings and overload a once stable system. My understanding, as I overheard locals discuss the issue, is that they expected to be taken to places like the Mediterranean or Germany or even the US. The fact that they landed in a land with weather so different than their homeland was only the beginning of the challenges they faced … and then forced their host country to face. But that is a different topic and one that, while I grew up hearing it discussed, I don’t feel I have the right to pontificate on behalf of another country. Not to mention there are enough people already discussing it to write volumes of prose. When Frankie started asking questions about what the adults were talking about I did my best to give him age-appropriate answers, but it wasn’t easy. I had more luck with ancient history than I did recent modern history.

The Vikings settled in Iceland in 870 AD, and today Reykjavík is home to “endless charms” according to our guide, and watched over by the majestic Esja mountain range. We saw the city’s highlights during a panoramic drive – one of those bus rides where you see stuff but rarely actually experience it – including the imposing cathedral and the mandatory gift shop stop where I bought licorice, Icelandic hot dog mustard (a cominbation of ketchup, mustard, and remouladi that is a local favorite) and both Vit and I purchased Brennvin (an 80-proof schnapps known as “Black Death”), and Reyka Vodka. And that was only the beginning of what Frankie dubbed our very full, very busy, very stuffed day.

Our drive continued up Öskjuhlío Hill to the Perlan vantage point, also known as “The Pearl.” This glass-domed building was constructed upon old hot water storage tanks, and today offers sweeping views of the city. From there we descended into the city proper and passed the Kjarvalsstaðir art museum, a fine example of Nordic modernism. We saw the fantastic Hallgrímskirkja church, a towering vision in white except for a few black marks that had yet to be scrubbed out from a terrorist act last year. We passed those smudges and what they represent to continue beyond the National Museum & University, another recent scene of social and political unrest. We kept driving through the city center and old harbor area en route to two of the city’s most admired buildings: the all-glass Harpa concert hall, a wonder of modern architecture, and Höfði House, the site of the meeting between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev that marked the beginning of the end of the Cold War. Both Vit and I marked the location by glancing at each other with a depth of understanding few others on our bus have.

We were soberer than our traveling companions until a growl drew our attention followed by Frankie’s laugh. Nicholas’ stomach was yelling for attention. I simply shook my head and handed over the bag of snacks from my backpack. We were promised a box lunch on the excursion, but it was still some time away.

Our bus transferred us to a riding center, located just outside Reykjavík. Yes, I said riding center. We picked up our riding equipment with a short, mandatory safety briefing and were then introduced to our four-legged riding companions. Icelandic horses are direct descendants of their Viking ancestors. They are compact and sturdy animals known for their riding qualities, which include sure-footedness and a calm and friendly disposition. We mounted up and began a leisurely journey with part of our group going across the lava fields of Mt. Helgafell and the Kaldarsel area, and the remainder to Lake Hvaleyrarvatn.

Riding is a form of freedom, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities, just like driving. I could have shown off but for me there was just as much, if not more fun, allowing Frankie to get to know the joys of horsemanship. We admired the beauty of the rugged scenery, where ever-changing lava formations contrast with green meadows as the Bláfjöll Mountains loom in the distance. We kept watch for jets of steam erupting from the ground and learned of the ongoing efforts to reforest the region as we trotted through the idyllic countryside.

I tried not to giggle when Vit and the brothers became aware of just how important it is to sit a horse properly. They dismounted and struggled not to walk bow legged. Vit, for all of it, seemed to enjoy himself and he seemed well pleased at something that was not obvious to the rest of us. I could guess but I won’t intrude on some deep and private thoughts of contemplating your ancestry and finally getting in touch with it.

It was on the bus ride back to the pier that we received our boxed lunch and it was very bland and ordinary and slightly disappointing as I had hoped to taste some of the local foods. On the other hand, it saved waste as I’ve noted some of our co-passengers don’t really appreciate being expected to try too much new at one time, especially in the food department. Not to mention many of them have dietary restrictions that are sometimes difficult to accommodate.

Once near the pier it was a quick transfer to get on the next bus for those few of us with a second excursion as most people returned to the ship. The afternoon was filled with more Viking lore.

We admired volcanic landscapes and visited the Viking World museum during a scenic drive across the Reykjanes Peninsula. This rocky peninsula sits atop the Mid-Atlantic Ridge—the meeting point of the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates—and is home to volcanoes, extensive lava fields, geysers and hot springs. Parts of it reminded me of the trip to Hawaii’s big island that I’d taken with Poppa when I was in sixth grade. Our journey took us across the rugged countryside and through charming fishing villages to places such as Kleifarvatn Lake, which sits directly above the ridge and is one of the deepest lakes in Iceland; and Krýsuvík, with its many, multicolored hot springs of boiling mud and powerful jets of steam erupting from the crater-pocked terrain. At the Viking World museum we perused the exhibits that document Viking culture and history, and viewed the Íslendingur, a full-scale replica of the Gokstad Viking longship that carried explorer Leif Eriksson’s voyage to Vinland (present-day Newfoundland). It wasn’t nearly as big as you would think such a vessel would need to be. It was an interesting math lesson and even Nicholas participated and helped Frankie with some of the trickier formulas.

After reboarding the bus I’m not ashamed to say that a few times I grabbed Vit’s arm to keep Frankie and I from being pitched about as the bus driver seemed to have transformed into a race car driver. I found out from listening to the front passengers mutter as we were in line to get back aboard ship that the tour guide had been told the ship would leave a half-hour later than the 5:30 pm it was actually scheduled to leave.

After dinner when Nicholas had been turned loose by his grandmother and opted to return to the cabin to work on his personal correspondence (apparently a girl of his acquaintance had seen his social media postings and is starting to talk him up after turning him down while they were in school together) Vit decided he’d had enough exercise himself. We sat talking a few minutes until I looked over to see he’d slid to the side and dozed off. Before that he said that the day proved, at least to him, that Nicholas was better for strenuous activity. He wasn’t the least bit twitchy or prone to mischief, enough so that even his grandmother remarked on it and didn’t force more company on him.

Tomorrow is another Sea Day. Vit said he will take both brothers for a couple of hours. Frankie’s wardrobe needs looking at. I was scandalized to find that he was wearing mismatched socks again. One was brown while the other was a garish chartreuse that actually belonged to his brother. And yes, I know that technically I am his tutor and not his nursemaid, housekeeper, or anything else but as I told Miss Hayworth, academics is not the only thing I am supposed to be teaching Frankie. Comportment, manners, etc. are on the list as well so I can put it under those duties.

“Veta?”

“Yes Ma’am?”

“I know that Madam may not actually come out and say it, but your care of Frankie is appreciated. The fact that she actually has so little to comment about is different from what most staff usually receive.”

“Then I will be flattered by her trust, and not abuse it. Thank you for letting me know. Was the report sufficient?”

“More than. And beyond that, Nick … Dr. Marchand and his wife … commented that they are pleased that the sciences were being emphasized and not just the liberal arts. They are also interested in seeing more of Frankie’s artwork. I believe they are … surprised … at his talent. They are also interested in the hand exercises that Frankie mentioned in one of his postings on Traveling Marchand.”

“When I found out that Frankie said his hands still ached, I asked my brother for recommendations on exercises. Derrick suggested I take it up with one of my sister-in-laws who is a Pediatric Physical Therapist in the school system where she works. She wouldn’t diagnose of course but the finger exercises do seem to be helping so long as he is consistent. Allowing Frankie to be ambidextrous when he is drawing has also helped for one hand or the other not to bear such a burden.”

“Interesting. I read that in your report. So long as Frankie continues to progress at an appropriate rate Madam has no further instructions.”

Briefly I wondered what an inappropriate rate of progress might be, but I kept my rudeness under wraps. And now I believe it is time to go wrap myself in my covers and get some sleep.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 21: Sep 20 – Cruise the Irminger Sea

Sea Day today. Not much to say other than the fact I begin to understand the stories Momma used to tell on my brothers. Even with housekeeping going into the boys’ cabin twice a day it looks like I am going to need to take a hand. I have a pop-up clothes bin that I brought as a back-up that I am going to donate to the cause of trying to keep all of Frankie’s dirty clothes in one location. I finally managed to locate all of Frankie’s socks, some of them in unlikely locations, and get all the laundry finished and put away.

I was waiting for both he and Nicholas when they returned from the pool. They stopped short to find me in the middle of the cabin folding their underclothes.

“Miss Veta!”

“What?” I asked casually.

“That’s … that’s …”

“Yes they are. I will not describe the condition they were in. Nor the rest of your clothing. Consider this a freebie to keep your Grandmother’s wrath at bay. If you do not start taking better care of your clothing I have two words for you boys. Two words.”

When they waited I said, “Dance. Lessons.”

At the alarmed look on their face I left them to complete the task, walked passed Vit who looked to be experiencing a mild fit of some kind, and went to finish my own laundry. Later I discovered Vit rather impressed them on how the … well they are equal to sergeants in our military … would deal with soldiers that could not or would not keep their belongings in fighting shape. Good. It would be a sad thing if I was the only one to have the kind of fun (not) that I had with that lot of nasty laundry.

​

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 22: Sep 21 – Nanortalik, Greenland

One of the locations on this planet that I never thought of when someone said they were visiting an exotic location is Greenland.

We did not arrive in Nanortalik until 2 pm. The name translates to something like “place of polar bears.” It is a small island rather than the mainland on the shores of the Labrador Sea. The first thing that struck me was the lack of trees. Even Iceland had a few; not this place. Everyone aboard ship that desired to disembark was treated to an included excursion called “Nanortalik and its Fascinating Museum.” There actually wasn’t much more to the port than that.

We disembarked amid the treeless landscape near the mouth of the Tasermiut Fjord overlooked by towering peaks. We were encouraged to wander the “charming” streets on our own. Read that as cute but nothing really to keep a nine-year-old interested for more than a moment or two. We did pass a wooden Nanortalik Church, built by the Danes in 1916. In the old colonial port, we visited the open air Nanortalik Museum, one of the most interesting museums in Greenland. Possibly one of the only museums in Greenland. Sorry for the snark, it was just a strange place for a cruise ship to stop as it really wasn’t set up for that large of an influx of people at one time. At the museum we wandered among old trade buildings from the harbor and observed the “simplicity of life” as it was termed in the Danish colony that thrived here in the 19th and 20th centuries. It still seems to be stuck in those centuries to be honest. The most interesting pieces were artifacts from the old Inuit culture and the Norse settlements of 982 AD, including turf huts and fur boats.

Despite the stoically tranquil setting, suddenly dumping another 900 bodies into the area did not play well except for the locals whose economy and income depends on the odd tourism event. We must have been like a salmon run for them, to be taken advantage of the best they could as it happened rarely and was over quickly.

In truth I sat on the dock much longer than many others to simply allow Frankie to take advantage of the birds that seemed to pop up from all directions, disturbed by the big white “whale” invading their domicile. I had expected to witness more of the odd sunrise/sunset disparity at this area of the world, but September is a transition month and today is almost “normal” with sunset falling at 7:02 pm. Had we come at the beginning of the month it would be closer to 10 pm.

We had a later dinner – Madame was tired and didn’t feel like entertaining – that Nicholas and Vit joined us for. I gave way to their desire to have the slider open, but I was draped with a Nordic blanket under the table and soon afterward escaped to the sleep area to update my files while the three of them did something manly like watch a pre-recorded sports game where they critiqued the players’ technique and sportsmanship.

It has fallen suspiciously quiet out there so either they are plotting something, they’ve fallen asleep, or they are in some frozen tableau waiting on me to break the spell by closing the slider, so they can thaw out. If I make no further entries it is because we struck an iceberg. Brrr.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 23: Sep 22 – Qaqortoq, Greenland

Yesterday was a case of arrive late, leave later. Today is a case of arrive early, depart early. Seven AM was our scheduled arrival and we were tied off exactly on time.

Madam asked me to “entertain the boys” so that she could check out some local artists she had heard about. I thought that meant that Vit would be accompanying her but no, she had simply lumped him in under “boys.” I didn’t tell him that, but I did ask him if he needed a day off. He seemed relieved to have it as the captain had asked for his assistance translating some transmissions in Ukrainian.

I have learned that I am not the only one that will have packages to mail when we arrive at our first US port. Certainly Madam will, but several other passengers were starting to worry about how they would transport everything home at the end of the cruise. Those from non-US countries have the same plan as we, but it will just be from their country of origin if/when we have a port there.

Breakfast was a bit hurried but was enough for the brothers, and more than so for me. As we arrived at the pier, Viking provided a map to get us oriented to this tiny town and local guides greeted us at meeting points to provide insight as we explored the history, culture, and lifestyles of coastal Greenland. From the ship, we walked to the town square, where colonial-era buildings evoke early days of Danish settlement. Browsed the fish and meat market before continuing to the Old Church, or “Annaasisup Oqaluffia,” built in 1832. Inside, we admired original paintings from the mid-19th-century. Later, we strolled past recreations of the stone-and-peat houses used by the Inuit people until the 1970s. Passed the New Church to see the supermarket and paused a moment at the Arctic Café restaurant. We proceeded from there to the Bench of Love on Vatican Hill before viewing the town’s 30 "Stone and Man" sculptures, each carved by a Scandinavian artist. It was basically a round-trip walking tour that only took an hour.

It was after that Nicholas claimed he was too hungry to continue and went back onto the ship when he saw Miss Hayworth struggling up the gangway with several rectangular packages. He’s 18 and I’m not his mother, auntie, grandmother, or even his teacher. I left him to Vit. Frankie and I still had some exploring to do and I had promised him time to take some pictures of birds so he could send them to Benji.

We joined a group going to see firsthand how Greenland’s prized fur is made during a tour of the inside workings of a furhouse. The fur trade, though illegal in some countries, is big business in Greenland, and the Great Greenland Furhouse is one of the country’s biggest employers. The facility was walking distance from the pier and I admit, while not exactly what I expected, it was still very interesting. During our tour, we learned about the history, production, processing, distribution and valuation of Greenland fur and sealskins. We viewed skins of polar bear, seal, caribou, reindeer, musk ox and lamb. The tour took us through the cleaning area to the sorting room, where workers were busy determining the quality of various skins and sorting them into different piles. In the workroom, we watched as seamstresses sewed beautiful coats, jackets, mittens, slippers and other items from quality sealskin, a crucial part of the colorful national costume.

We came back to find Nicholas waiting for us at the top of the gangway informing us that a person no less important than the captain had asked us to dine at his table.

“Nicholas …”

“I swear it isn’t a prank. It is on account of Mr. D.”

“Shouldn’t Madam have this privilege?”

From behind me I heard, “I have already done so. I am having a private party in my cabin this evening. Please see that my grandsons …” She sent a stern look their way. “Behave themselves.”

“I am sure they would not wish to upset you by behaving inappropriately.”

Frankie caught on and quickly said, “No Ma’am. Never.”

Nicholas was a breath behind by saying, “Of course not.”

“Very good,” the lady said. “I expect a report of the conversation to be had so be listening.”

Eating at the captain’s table was not something I ever imagined, much less as his guest. As we walked back to the cabins – the ship pulling away from the pier – I thought about what we should wear. The boys already knew and would change in plenty of time, I needed an hour to give myself a good scrub, shave, and shampoo.

I came out of the vanity area to find Vit threading a belt through dark slacks I had never seen. I handed him my lint brush and he nodded thanks and then got a good look at my own outfit. “Too much? Not enough?” I asked.

He gave me a critical look and nodded. “Your brother will be proud.”

Since I wasn’t quite sure whether he meant Derrick or the others or even himself I let the comment go and then took the lint brush from him and touched up my own outfit. My hair was done in a traditional crown braid rather than the bun and braid I normally had it in. My only jewelry were the studs that I have been using to keep my pierced ear holes open, my clyddagh ring from Poppa, and Momma’s silver watch. Poppa insisted that Angelia get Momma’s jewelry since she was the oldest daughter but Angelia in turn insisted we each got something – jewelry or some little trinket of remembrance special to us – and when I asked for Momma’s watch everyone understood and agreed. It is what she had always used to time my schoolwork.

I suppose I could go over all the details of what we ate and how everyone was dressed but it would make me sound vain and in all honesty wasn’t that interesting as such things go. The compliments I got made me feel uncomfortable as well though I don’t think I was so rude that it showed. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I was never this way when Robert and I were out to dinner. It doesn’t bother me when I go to the Foundation’s fund raisers and must be “on show.” But tonight, it did bother me. I felt … well I felt vulnerable and exposed. Perhaps at those other events I always had someone there … Robert, Derrick, Poppa, someone. I sound ridiculous I know. I’m a woman traveling around the world and yet here I am bemoaning having no adult male companionship to hide behind.

And no, borrowing Vit was not an option. For one thing, he and I have worked out being cabinmates, but it wouldn’t take much shipboard gossip to cause problems. For two, I don’t dare. There are times I must remind myself to treat him brotherly and not just as a friend. Close quarters and my loneliness could lead me down a road I am not ready or willing to travel. I must be able to look myself in the mirror when this trip is over, and everyone goes their own way. And for three, he had more than enough female attention, from staff to other passengers. He neither noticed or failed to notice each woman and frankly that must be some kind of skill they teach you as a sailor. I never noticed how very European and elegant his manners were until I saw him using them on other women.

Be that as it may, I tried to remember all that I’d learned while having to appear at the Foundation’s fund raisers and I think I managed to avoid the worst of the pitfalls. And perhaps have even managed to deal with the “Crankston Issue.” Or more correctly, Frankie did.

It would appear that the Crankstons own two African Grey parrots. They call these two birds on almost a daily basis to talk with them and check on them. Yes. I know. But be that as it may once Frankie found out that is absolutely all she wrote.

“Miss Veta! Mr. Crankston says that Arthur can speak 800 words and Guinevere can speak 700.”

“Really? And you say African parrots are the smartest breed?”

“African Grey parrots,” he corrected. “Mrs. Crankston showed me a picture and let me listen to them talk. They have a camera to watch them whenever they want to. And they have a special babysitter that takes care of them. They recorded their voices so that Arthur and Guinevere wouldn’t forget them, but did you know?”

“What?”

“The birds are soooo smart they know the difference between the recorded voices and when Mr. and Mrs. Crankston call and talk to them on purpose.”

“They do?”

“Yes. That shows how intelligent they are. Not fake smart like some birds are, but real-smart.”

After a lengthy conversation about Arthur and Guinevere I had to go to the Crankstons. “I beg your pardon, but I suppose you figured out that Frankie is a bit bird crazy. And since hearing about Arthur and Guinevere he wants to draw an African Grey parrot. Would you happen to be able to suggest any resources where he could see the bone structure and the feathers up close?”

“Boy has an eye for detail,” Mr. Crankston said in his jowly way.

“Of course he does,” agreed his wife. “He noted immediately that our babies are on the upper end of examples of their species. As soon as I showed him their pictures he could see it.”

So, for what it is worth, Frankie has officially conquered the Cranky Crankstons simply by being nearly as bird crazy as they are. Hopefully Madam won’t find fault with it. I don’t need to have one problem solved only for another one to be born in its place.

Tomorrow is a Sea Day and I suspect I will be spending some of it, assuming the wifi cooperates, looking up African Grey parrots. Oh my.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 24: Sep 23 – Cruise the Labrabdor Sea

Our Sea Day included cruising the Labrador Sea. In essence, according to the daily cabin newsletter, we traced the route of Leif Eriksson as he sailed from Greenland to Canada. Frankie and I added it to the world map that we are building of our travels.

After a meeting with Miss Hayworth and Madam Marchand I am now informed I should circulate more, at least on Sea Days, while supervising Frankie. Apparently, they thought he would be more socially problematic than he has turned out to be. Conquering the Crankstons was viewed quite favorably.

The old woman was in a bit of a snit. “Boy might have some talents from the Marchand side after all. Those therapists obviously didn’t know a damn thing. He doesn’t have a social disorder. Idiots. But what can you expect from a school that would allow hazing to proliferate to the point those loose screws could have murdered my grandson?”

She went on at length and I learned a few more details about the case including the fact that the boys were grandsons of a woman that Madam had had her own run in with in her youth. The two families were at odds on multiple occasions for several generations. In other words, it appears to be a Hatfield/McCoy scenario, only on a different socioeconomic level. Knowing that I wanted to ask why the police had not used that as a motive and arrested the little reprobates. Apparently something showed on my face because Madam nodded.

“Oh you see it all right. The problem is that the family holds a great deal of power in the area; socially and financially. It was hushed up of course but the family overestimated their control … and their appeal. Those boys aren’t exactly pariahs, but they are no longer welcomed in certain households unless they have some adults from the family there as well that have … I believe it is called ‘having skin in the game.’ When the family tried to force the issue they were turned back completely and some uncomfortable observations started being made. Helene, the boys’ grandmother, finally got the message and decided to cut her losses and regroup. It has had an impact on some political aspirations her nephew had. She thought marrying into her second husband’s family would bring her even more power and wealth, all it did was cut out the sons from her first marriage and put her father’s legacy at risk as the money has been repurposed for political groups he would have never tolerated in his lifetime. Shame. Real shame.”

Miss Hayworth added, “I’ll say it since Madam won’t. The boys got off because the school was worried about being called racist. They have a lot of wealthy Eurasian connections who donate a lot of money to local politics and charities. However, it is getting where parents cannot even have their daughters attend the school. They quietly removed two teachers that had very pro-radical politics appearing in their curriculum. Frankie is better off out of there, it is just a shame it had to happen the way it did.”

I thought I’d left that stuff behind when I left the university. Even at UNF it was a problem. I just don’t understand why we can’t all make more of an effort to get along. Or is that as naïve as Charlie complained I was being the times that it came up?

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 25: Sep 24 – L’anse Aux Meadows, Newfoundland, Canada

Canada. Newfoundland to be more exact. Historical fact: Only became part of Canada in 1949 in post-WW2 era. Learning lots of new things on this cruise so I’m not only the educator, but being educated myself.

And thank goodness it is finally warmer. I was even able to go out and about with only the thinnest of sweaters. Not that we stayed in port very long today. We docked at 7 am but were pulling away at 2 pm. We did two quick back-to-back excursions and had a late lunch/early dinner instead.

First, we journeyed to St. Anthony, the staging post for many northern expeditions by Artic explorers racing to the North Pole. This excursion featured a visit to the Grenfell Interpretation Center, which chronicles the life of Sir Wilfred Grenfell, an inspiring young English doctor who visited St. Anthony in 1892 and founded the Grenfell Mission. Dr. Grenfell was renowned for bringing medicine and education to the Inuit and European settlers along the harsh Labrador Coast. His adventures were required reading in eastern Canada and taught valuable lessons to rural schoolchildren. His tales of courage and charitable efforts made him a friend of American presidents and governors, as well as European royalty. We also visited his home, where we viewed the artifacts gathered from a life of Arctic adventure and global philanthropy. Yes, that is a bit of a quote from the museum’s brochure.

From there we transitioned into an excursion visiting the ancient settlement now called L’Anse aux Meadows founded by Vikings more than 1,000 years ago. That that location, Leif Eriksson, son of Erik the Red, is reported to be the first European to set foot on American soil. The Viking originally called his discovery “Vinland,” which many believe translates from Old Norse into “land of meadows.” We toured the restored village, gaining insight into what life was like for the continent’s first Norse explorers. Sod houses, constructed of soil packed over wooden frames. Evidence of carpentry and ironsmith workshops. We learned about the 1960 discovery of the site by the adventurer Helge Ingstad and his wife, archaeologist Anne Stine Ingstad. On the way back to the ship, we stopped to visit the recreated Viking village of Norstead to learn more about life in these northern reaches one millennium ago.

We weren’t the only ones that opted for a modified meal schedule. I had thought we could then escape up to Deck 9 for a little activity but there was wall to wall people playing shuffle board, putt-putt golf, and attending a beginners’ yoga class. Ugh, I would have liked to have just play as well – it was the kind of crowd you could participate in without drawing too much attention – but Frankie deserved my full and undivided attention. We wound up on our veranda instead, catching up on some lessons, paperwork, and whatever else struck our fancy.

Tomorrow is another Sea Day and I hope we can get a few more things done. I told Vit, after he came in from shepherding Nicholas around a different activity on land, that I need to figure out how to work in more exercising. I feel entirely too lethargic when we have Sea Days, and we’ve been having quite a few lately.

He said it is a problem most people who are used to being active run into until they learn to pace themselves. I just don’t know if I can pace myself. I may never be able to do some of the things we have access to once this trip comes to an end. I don’t want to look back with regrets. I feel like I already have enough to deal with.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 26: Sep 25 – Cruise Gulf of St. Lawrence

Today we cruised the Gulf of St. Lawrence. Frankie’s sharp eyes spotted a pod of Beluga Whales, or whatever a group of whales swimming together are called. Pod maybe? When I asked him how on earth he was sure it was a beluga he said because it doesn’t have a dorsal fin and was white. Whoever taught him these observational skills deserves my thanks. It makes teaching him a real dream.

We attended a lecture on local wildlife in the theater during the day which I enjoyed every bit as much as Frankie. Tonight, Nicholas once again asked if his brother would like to go to a movie and after making sure it did not conflict with Madam’s schedule I gave my permission. I suspect Nicholas wanted to be able to say he only went to the movie for his brother’s benefit. After all, what eighteen-year-old soccer star wants to admit that he wanted to see Disney’s most recent addition to their CGI-remake franchise? On the other hand, I’m rather surprised they offered it in the theater when 99.9% of the passengers are well into adulthood as is all the crew. But I suppose instead of wondering I should simply be grateful.

Vit asked if Frankie and I would dine with he and Nicholas beforehand and I agreed. While we ate in the most casual of the restaurants, I still felt it was a bit of a fuss compared to what Frankie and I have been experiencing but as a change of pace it was very nice. My starter was a green apple and cucumber medley, my main beef tenderloin, and my dessert creme brûlée. Not very imaginative but I prefer the simpler dining options without worrying that I will become ballast for the ship. It has taken me far too long to get rid of the excess weight I picked up in London, I’m not going to make that mistake again.

After dinner, while the boys went off to the movie, Vit asked if I had seen the ship and I said some but not while everyone was out and about looking it over. He showed me around and when it came time to show me the spa area, he encouraged me to give it a try. “The features are meant to be experienced in sequence … about ten minutes each. Start in the pool or hot tub. Then get out and pour a bucket of water on your head before moving to the Steam Room. From there go to the Snow Grotto.”

“Snow Grotto.”

He guided me over and I got cold just looking at the snow as it drifted down from the ceiling. “People actually subject themselves to that? On purpose?!”

He laughed. “You should try it.”

“Brrr. I’ll leave it to you hale and hearty fellows. I never liked being cold. Not even when …”.

When I fell silent he prompted, “When?”

After a moment of trying to figure out how to phrase it without sounding pathetic I admitted, “I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. I could only feel. To me the cold was like the mean children … and it bit and pinched just like some of them did. Once a week we were … bathed … for our own good of course. Winter bathing was a misery. Gah! And that is enough of that.”

He gave it some thought. “We were told it was to make us stronger.”

“I don’t remember being told anything at all. Momma said I fought tooth and nail the first bath. Until I discovered the water was warm … and then it took them forever to get me out. I was all but feral.”

He took my hand and put it on his arm to lead us out and said, “We all survived the best way we could.”

Then the conversation took an odd turn as we went to the Promenade to walk around the ship. “May I ask? Do you have fears left from the orphanage?”

“For a while, when I was a child. For one, I had severe separation anxiety. I suppose my attachment to my siblings plays into that, but it is no longer a fear per se.”

“Nothing from that time?”

I shrugged, “I suppose not from that time directly. I … I fear that one day I may lose my sight again. You’ve been wonderful not to comment on my glasses case despite nearly tripping on it a few times. I lived the first three years of my life like that … unable to see or hear … four if you count the time it took for the surgeries to be considered completely successful.”

“So, your fear is a natural one.”

“I suppose. Why do you ask?”

“Anichka. She had many fears. She did not like to be touched for one.”

“Control perhaps?”

“Among others,” he admitted. “I just did not wish it to bother you that … that we walk in this fashion.”

Relieved that I finally had a reason for the odd conversation I relaxed. “Vit, you have proven yourself to be an easy person to trust so it doesn’t bother me.”

Sadly he said, “So perhaps Anichka could not trust me.”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t there but it sounds more like she simply hadn’t had time to unlearn bad habits.” At his questioning look I explained, “Most children are born very trusting. Then if something happens that trust is not as easily given. The longer you feel the need to protect yourself the more difficult it is to learn to trust. Momma and Poppa and Derrick took a long time to earn my trust when I didn’t even realize it was something that had been lost to me to begin with. I’m not sure I even understood the concept. I understood the concept of God somehow … and the old priest, my great-uncle, was part of that … but trust? That was a foreign concept. But I think that is an issue of the human condition and not just because we were orphans in a less than ideal setting. For a while after Momma and Poppa died I … struggled. Even with Derrick insisting that I get grief counseling I struggled. The family dynamics that I had learned to put so much trust in was … was changing. Nothing was the same as it had been. Then after the mugging I wanted to go home, to hide, to find some way to remake and reform what I’d lost. Derrick says one of the hardest things he’s ever done was to make me stay in school … and for me it was allowing Derrick to make me stay in school. I even thought of flunking out on purpose. But the truth is that life … changes. And the people in our lives … change. And for me … I had to learn to be strong enough to let it be that way. I had to choose strength vs weakness. Even with some of the things that have come since I still think I chose correctly. I’m no longer the Veta that everyone must take care of. Now I am part of the … the taking care of we all do for one another.” I stopped and shook my head. “I’m not sure I explained it very well.”

“Enough that I begin to understand. May I ask you more another time?”

I shrugged. “If you wish. What of you? I know it is different for men … but you were a boy then.”

He nodded and we stopped at the railing and looked out at the ocean as it rushed passed. “Weakness. There were forced fights for the older boys … to make us strong as we were required to go into the military at 18 but we would need to survive until then on our own. Weakness … it could get you dead. And this is not a story I should be telling you.”

“Vit, I’ve heard similar stories from other orphanage survivors from around the world as I traveled with Poppa and Derrick on their missions. The world is cruel to orphans, even if it is just through neglect. There is a very real reason why God reminded people often that we are supposed to take care of widows and orphans and it isn’t just about charity. It is if you want your society to survive, you must root out any potential cankers, especially those from the inside. Orphans … well you know, the training, learning about healthy emotions, learning simply how to function in the world. Orphans are not just starved for food.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 27: Sep 26 – Saguenay, Quebec, Canada

Our day in port was a long one. We docked, per usual, at the normal 8 am; however, we did not leave port until 9 pm. As a consequence, we were able to have a longer activity.

We visited two charming Quebecois villages and set out in search of some “gentle giants” in the Saguenay Fjord. First, we started out on a drive with a guide to Rose-du-Nord. Hugging the shores of the Saguenay River and surrounded by forested slopes, it is said to be one of the most picturesque villages in Quebec province. From there we continued to Tadoussac at the end of the fjord, the oldest surviving French settlement in the Americas. We were given time to enjoy it on our own doing things like admiring the Old Chapel, the oldest wooden church north of Mexico, enjoying Butter Tarts and purchasing a bar of Canadian milk chocolate. Later, as a surprise for Frankie since he had no idea, we embarked on a whale watching boat and headed out into the Saguenay-St. Lawrence Marine Park, Canada’s first marine national park and an important habitat for the St. Lawrence beluga whale. He nearly got over excited and I threatened to make him sit in his seat the entire time if he didn’t stop giving me heart palpitations by leaning too far over the railing. We were told that sightings are never guaranteed, but between Frankie and the boat pilot we saw more than a few of the magnificent white creatures. We also saw minke whales, porpoises and the rare right whale. The cruise lasted three hours and if that had been all I think Frankie – and I – would have been more than satisfied. Instead, we next joined a small group tour for a fly-over of the fjord in a seaplane.

From the seaplane we viewed Quebec province’s much-admired Saguenay Fjord, one of the most southerly fjords in the Northern Hemisphere. It stretches 65 miles from Sainte-Rose-du-Nord to the St. Lawrence River. The pilot said its terrain is best appreciated from the air. But to me, land or air or water, it was incredibly beautiful. Lined with cliffs averaging 490 feet tall, with the tallest reaching to 1,150 feet, the waterway has a rich diversity of wildlife. After a short walk to the docking site of our six-passenger seaplane, we motored out into the water for the water-based takeoff. It was only a 30-minute flight but thrilling nonetheless as we flew over the 1,150-foot Cape Trinity, capped with a huge statue of the Virgin Mary. We had a bird’s-eye view of Cape Eternity at the mouth of the Eternity River and Ah Ah Bay, where our ship was anchored. The water landing had me closing my eyes, but all was safe, and we were able to walk back to board the ship from there.

Rather than continuing to walk around we went to the cabin, ordered room service, and decided to take advantage of the better than normal wifi connection as we were both behind in uploading photos. As soon as I turned my laptop on it started making an alarming number of pings and squawks.

“Oh dear, it sounds like it is trying to lay an egg,” I said, suspecting I had a lot of people asking why I had not posted, responded, answered, etc. Vit and Nicholas had joined us just a moment before. When the laptop started crowing I knew I needed to make a quick call.

Frankie was laughing because he knew what it meant. Big Brother wanted to be responded to without delay.

I grabbed my phone and stepped out onto the veranda and then spent the next few minutes just trying to assure him that I was whole and in one piece. I think Derrick was feeling guilty – or possibly bored – and I wound up having to open the slider and say, “Vit, please tell my brother I have not been abducted by Inuit, devoured by belugas, nor am I being made to walk the plank by pirates.”

What was funny was to hear Derrick and Vit both say “Veta!” At the same time.

Taking my phone Vit introduced himself. “Dr. Petric. It is Vit Dymtrus. It is an honor to meet you … er …”

My brother responded and I let the conversation flow while I started my photo-uploading. I only paused once when I heard, “Nicholas, Frankie, and I are going over lessons in the common area.”

With that Derrick was calmed and ready to speak without clucking. I went back out onto the veranda and he finally allowed me to explain that Greenland will never be known for their technological superiority. I finally got a chuckle from him and he explained he’d grown concerned after having such regular correspondence and then nothing. And he admitted to worrying if Lena had said something else.

“Else?”

“I found the email. She tried to delete it but forgot that it remains in trash unless purposefully emptied.”

“Oh. You mean one of the boys found it for you.”

“Ha ha.” Then he sighed. “I’m sorry Veta. What Dad would say to this mess …”

“Don’t Brat,” I told him using the Ukrainian word for brother simply because it had always tickled me. “Poppa … was not perfect and this situation with Lena always seemed to confound him on some level. All I care about is that you are well … and that the family is well.”

“Well the boys are fine but … there are other things going on. I had no idea that …”

“What?” I asked growing alarmed at his tone.

“Lena wanted another child. A girl.”

“Well you told me that a long time ago.”

“No Veta … I mean she wanted another child as in now.”

“Er … maybe I’m not understanding but at her age is that even possible?”

“Lena isn’t that old. Only forty-six. One of her friends had some hormonal therapy to have a baby and … Lena started the procedure without speaking to me about it. I would have considered adopting but not her putting her health at risk in this way.”

“But she doesn’t want to adopt,” I said, understanding the problem since her prejudices had revealed themselves more than once.

“I’m sorry Veta but … you are correct. I thought we’d dealt with all of it when you left home.”

“Is it any of my business to ask how her parents are?”

“They’re upset naturally but coping. They’re the ones that found out about it. She used money from her trust fund to prevent me from finding out until it was too late. Her father thinks she’s received sub par monitoring and he and I have placed her in a therapeutic setting until all of her levels even out and we can see if any other damage has occurred.” I heard deep sorrow in his voice.

“Oh Derrick. I’m so sorry. I should be there.”

“No. And if I hear that again I will refuse to share anymore information with you. Knowing you are out of this is my one bright spot. I’d give a lot if I could send the boys to you.”

“Are you going to keep the practice after all?”

“No. The sale has already gone through. I’m just closing some files. We’re moving up to Pembroke after Christmas … with or without Lena. But it won’t be to the Jackson Farm. I’m not buying a thousand acres of land just to get a dilapidated house that needs more work than Midas has money for just because Lena fancies living in an old plantation house. When you were up did you drive by the Old Millhouse?”

“No but Angelia told me someone had purchased it and completely rehabbed it last year.”

“And put themselves into bankruptcy to do it and the house is in foreclosure. I’ve made an offer on it after having Angelia’s husband look it over. He says the work and materials are top notch … all new wiring and plumbing … solar that you don’t notice … completely finished basement which is a real rarity around here … a kitchen garden where I can grow all of my tomatoes … and it sits on an upland twenty acres so no flooding even though you have to cross Old Millhouse Creek to get to the property. I’ll just have to decide what to do about the boys’ education.”

“You mean you and Lena will have to decide.”

In a tone I’d never heard my brother use before he said, “Maybe.”

We talked a few more things out, one of which was to make sure Frankie knew just how helpful his correspondence with Benji is as it takes his mind off their family problems for a bit each day.

I walked back into the living area to find the boys gone. “Where …?”

“Ice cream … or gelato … whichever strikes their fancy. Then Nicholas agreed to take Frankie on a walk on the Promenade so you could handle your brother’s concerns. Do you wish a cup of tea? You are looking upset.”

“Family stuff.” I gave a brief and embarrassed synopsis. “You’ll think we are nuts.”

“I envy you. Even a family with issues is still family.”

“Oh Vit.”

“Come. A cup of tea, the boys will return soon and your nose is red.”

I looked in the mirror and it was. Drat it all. I spent the remainder of the evening looking ahead over my notes, the itinerary, and … trying not to only see the worst for Derrick. I know he and Lena love each other. What I don’t see or understand is how Lena could have wanted a child so much she’d risk her marriage with Derrick to have her way about it. It makes me wonder how the boys are taking it or if they know the true state of affairs. I’m leery of putting my foot in it and asking. I hesitate to go behind Derrick’s back and ask. I suppose all I can do at this time is wait on him … trust him … to tell me himself.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 28: Sep 27 – Quebec City, Quebec, Canada

We were slow to get started this morning. A light rain fell, and our bus was late because of the resulting traffic snarl. Still, it wasn’t too awful. At least it wasn’t pouring like that time in London.

On the drive we explored cultural and historic sites in Quebec City, hailed as the most authentically French city outside France. At Dufferin Terrace, the scenic overlook adjacent to the celebrated Château Frontenac, we took in breathtaking views of the St. Lawrence River, Île d’Orléans and the Laurentian Mountains. Next, we drove past the beautifully restored Place Royale market square in the atmospheric Old Town, dotted with stone architecture dating as far back as the 1600s, including the oldest standing Catholic church in North America. Then it was on to the Plains of Abraham, the site where the French surrendered to the British in 1759. We enjoyed more spectacular river and city views from its cliffside perch on Cape Diamond, named after the stones that explorer Jacques Cartier mistook for diamonds. Yes, that Cartier family. Then, after following the Grande Allée, the Champs-Élysées of Québec, we stopped to view the imposing Second Empire–style Parliament Building before returning to the ship for a quick meal.

Lunch onboard ship was quiet. Nicholas and Vit were off doing something manly; I believe it was a visit to a First Nations village. Many passengers had decided to explore the city on their own by foot. That actually didn’t sound so bad and I managed to find a private company near the pier selling such excursions.

We took an invigorating walking tour that included (for a fee of course) a horse-drawn carriage ride. Our guide regaled us with the history of the St. Lawrence River and helped us to appreciate the “joie de vivre” of what it means to be a Quebecois. And no, I didn’t say it correctly the first, or even second, time around. Vit shook his head on my seventh try over our evening meal and wondered aloud how, if I could speak Ukrainian, English, and Spanish with fluent ease, I was finding it so difficult to speak French. I asked him if he wanted dance lessons and the comments became less irritating.

During the tour we first strolled to the Lower Old Town and its central plaza, the Place Royale, where Samuel de Champlain founded the first settlement. From there we continued to the Quartier Petit Champlain; its narrow cobblestone streets lined with shops and tidy stone buildings comprise the oldest commercial district in North America. Later, we ascended by funicular to the Upper Old Town to stroll through a district of artists and the lively Latin Quarter, past galleries and shops. Our last bit was a romantic 30-minute horse-drawn carriage ride through Quebec City’s narrow streets. The driver had lots of fun twitting poor Frankie over that one.

“Just ignore him,” I said.

“But he acted like I was your boyfriend!”

“I know. I’m flattered, of course, but it wasn’t very appropriate was it? One day you may make such a choice but for now I prefer you address your academics and your art. Time enough for the other when you’ve first figured out what you want from life.”

Still suffering painful embarrassment Frankie begged, “Please don’t tell Nickie. He’ll never let up on it.”

“Trust me, it never entered my mind. Pinkie swear on it.”

That trauma dealt with we returned to the ship just in time to avoid the next rain shower. Dinner was Room Service and then I let Frankie have an early night off since Nicholas said he was going to sleep early.

After seeing him off I noticed that Vit was changing into swim trunks and a robe. “Join me in the spa?” He asked.

“I am NOT going into that snow grotto.”

“Then don’t. Come roast in the hot tub or steam room. It will do you good. You do not relax enough, and it is beginning to show.”

“Show?” I said taking a quick peek in the mirror when I thought he wasn’t looking.

“You’ve lost weight.”

“Oh is that all. Good. It is taking me forever.”

“Good? You are doing this to yourself on purpose? You did not strike me as a masochist.”

“I’m not. I am someone who, however, wants to fit into her clothes the entire cruise and those early days in London put me behind the eight ball.”

“I am not familiar with the phrase.”

“It means I started out behind and losing.”

“I still do not understand.”

“Vit, I don’t know what it is like for you, but my Cossack heritage tends toward the round in places that get rounder with no effort on my part.”

It took him a moment and then he snorted. “It is a woman thing.”

“Yes it is. And if you are worried about my health then don’t. I am simply used to being more active than I have been for the last couple of months and it quickly showed.”

“Fine though I think it foolish. Let us go to the spa to relax … and I will not threaten to toss you in the snow.”

I wanted to tell him if he tried to toss me in the snow he’d find himself tossed instead. I didn’t even allow Robert to show off his superior size against me, I’m certainly not going to let Vit grow a fat head over it.

The hot tub was wonderful. I had to force myself out or risk turning into a boiled lobster. Vit is already asleep after his “Nordic workout” but I’ve had to let my hair dry. We will be back to Quebec City for another day after two days in Montreal and I want to be careful not to have too much repetition … and yes it is for Frankie’s sake and not my own.

Made the mistake of picking up a newspaper today. You wouldn’t normally call such an act a mistake but part of me sees it that way. It cracked my bubble and let some real-life in. There’s been another swarm of knife and acid attacks here in Canada. Not as many as they have in England but not what you would call a few. It happened after the national crack down on private gun ownership. And of course, only the law-abiding Canadians turned in their guns; the criminal element just laughed. In London those types of attacks have become so common that only the most horrific ones make the news, that and their ridiculous efforts to ban knives. Survivor groups are beginning to say acid scars are badges of honor. That sort of talk never made it to the US mainstream news, though apparently it did here in Canada. And now the demented copycat villains are starting to make themselves heard here in Canada which is so hard to believe. Canada? Really? It means that it is only a matter of time before some fool starts that in the US and from there it will simply grow … or will grow in the cities that do not allow personal firearms. The world seems to be experiencing a drought of sanity.

Complicating things is that there is a huge immigrant problem here now. For so long they tried to say they didn’t have such a problem. Move along, there’s nothing to see. But they can’t deny it now, not with the riots they had last year. They’ve finally started to deport in numbers, but it is a huge financial strain on a country already having to deal with their failure to secure several key trade agreements once again. There are several Canadians amongst the passengers, and they all seem to have their own opinion on how it happened and what should be done. Very similar to the number of opinions in the US. I suppose borders don’t really change people, they must culturally and socially assimilate in order to get a plurality of similar opinions.

There’re so many strange things coming to a head in this world. It makes my head … and heart … hurt to think about them. All the children that are going to wind up suffering … like I did, like Vit did. And I don’t want to hear the rationalization that he and I have both landed on our feet. We are of the lucky few.

I’m going to have to stop thinking about it or I’ll never get any sleep. I should probably review my self-defense coursework. You never know. Or maybe I’m just being overtired and silly. I just don’t know on some days. The storm that has started up isn’t helping my state of mind either. The ship is really starting to rock.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 29: Sep 28 – Montreal, Quebec, Canada (Day 1)

Woke up to find that we arrived in port at 4 AM instead of our normal 8 AM. There was a medical emergency on board overnight. The weather precluded taking the passenger off ship in route, so the Captain sped up a bit and got us into port early. Frankie is really upset by the news. Mrs. Crankston had some type of cardiac event. I presume we will know tomorrow if they will be rejoining the ship at some point but based on the grim look of some of the staff when it was announced I somehow doubt it. I hope they have travel insurance. Oh gracious, that sounded shallow. What I really mean is I hope that Mrs. Crankston will be okay. I have a bad habit of getting caught up in the minutiae and forgetting the big picture. Frankie has asked if he can send a picture to them, but I’ve referred it to Miss Hayworth. I’m not sure how I would go about doing that or even if it is appropriate.

We didn’t find out the “who” until we returned for dinner, so our day was not burdened with those kinds of thoughts. First it was breakfast while everyone was muttering, wondering what had happened. Then getting off the ship and to our excursion start point which required us using the mandatory shuttle that picked us up right outside the terminal tent and dropped us off at Alexandria Pier. Walking is not allowed in the cruise terminal area for safety reasons.

During the morning we went cycling along the Lachine Canal. Montreal is known for its bike-friendly streets, and it boasts a vast network of bicycle paths that stretch over 200 miles. Those within the Lachine Canal National Historic Site have been rated the third most beautiful urban circuit in the world by Time magazine. Once we met up with our guide and mounted our bikes, we pedaled our way past diverse architecture, through quaint neighborhoods and along a scenic canal that doubles as a gateway to the Atlantic. During the ride, we took a break at a small public market for a snack and beverage that we enjoyed while strolling the bountiful stalls brimming with fruits and vegetables. From there we took a direct path back to the starting point to return the bikes and I’m not ashamed to say that I wasn’t the only one feeling a little sore on my posterior portion.

We could have returned to the ship to eat lunch, but I picked up a couple of things while we were at the market and we snacked on them while waiting for the rest of the members of our next tour group to show up. I was surprised to realize we didn’t know anyone on the tour. In hindsight that was a good thing as it left us out of the conversational loop as news about the Crankstons had already started to make its way around ship.

Our next excursion was unique. The main idea was to learn how one of Canada’s largest exports, maple syrup, is made during a visit to an authentic sugar shack. We first drove to Sucrerie de la Montagne, featured in National Geographic as the best place to enjoy the local delicacy. Designated an official Quebec Heritage Site, Sucrerie de la Montagne is nestled amid a 120-acre forest of century-old maples atop Mont Rigaud. We took a tour through the woods to see how the trees are tapped at the end of every winter. Inside, we discovered all the steps that create the favorite elixir of Canada. We then had the chance to sample the results of nature’s, and man’s, work … and as always, a chance to spend some money in the gift shop.

I suppose I shouldn’t sound so snarky about it as the others, even Frankie, seemed happy to do it. But I need to start counting my pennies and thinking about what I’ll have to live on once I get home. I’ll have the Pembroke House rent free, but I’ll still need to feed myself and pay for the utilities and property taxes, amongst other things. I’ve already set aside my sign-up bonus but given the cost of things that I’ve been seeing, I’ll have it spent before I find my next job.

Of course, regardless of the lecture I gave myself, I didn’t get away without buying more post cards. I have started to reorganize the collection tonight and I finally got it into the photo box I brought along for just that purpose. I asked Frankie to help me as he needed distracting. And frankly so did I.

It is when we were getting back on-board ship that we saw the Crankston’s luggage being taken off. Frankie recognized it of course because pictures of Arthur and Guinevere were stenciled on the outside of their cases. Then he heard the muttering of the other passengers. When I couldn’t answer his questions, he became even more upset and took off for his Grandmother’s suite.

“Frankie! Slow down! You grandmother might have guests!”

He was banging on the door which was opened by Miss Hayworth and she tried to check his headlong run in as well.

“Grandmother will know. Grandmother knows everything. And she’ll tell me the truth!”

Madam Marchand was surprised to nearly be bowled off her feet by Frankie running into her arms. “Grandmother! Grandmother!”

The woman looked at me and all I could say was, “Sometimes it is only family that you want.”

Getting an arrested look, she sat down and pulled Frankie under her arm and after finally understanding what was going on, she told him that yes, Mrs. Crankston had indeed fallen ill.

I backed out of the room, knowing that in this instance my place was any place else but in that room.

“Don’t let it hurt your feelings Veta.”

I looked over at Miss Hayworth in surprise. “I hope I haven’t acted like they were. She’s Frankie’s grandmother. And as I said, sometimes only family can do what you need. I am sorry however if we’ve interrupted anything.”

“No. We were just preparing for dinner.”

“So, it was one of the Crankstons.”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Muriel Crankston fell in their cabin at some point after dinner last night. Her husband found her when she didn’t return to the show they’d been watching. Poor man, he seems in shock.”

“My understanding is they are South African.”

“But haven’t lived there for a number of years having moved to Australia during the political upheaval. They have no children in case your next question was about family.”

A little embarrassed I admitted, “It’s none of my business of course.”

“We all have a curiosity about one another. It isn’t vulgar, just … polite concern.”

A moment later Frankie came up to me and said, “I’m sorry for running off Miss Veta. I know I’m too old to act like that.”

I had a feeling his grandmother had said something, and I would be expected to play my part as well. “Frankie, I accept your apology. I know you were upset and needed your grandmother because you knew you could trust her with your concerns.” Trying to choose my words carefully I added, “However, when we are upset, we sometimes forget to think before we act and there may be consequences we don’t intend. Let’s try and not do that too often in the future. All right?”

“Yes Miss Veta.”

“Very good. Please ask your grandmother if she is ready for us to depart and then say a proper goodbye.”

Frankie didn’t eat much. Got aggravated when I wouldn’t immediately help him to send a picture to the Crankstons that he had been drawing. He even got bored and started making a mess with my post cards so I gathered them back up and set them aside. We were sitting on the veranda and I had hoped that watching the sea birds would perk him up as they had in the past. Instead he snapped angrily, “Why do all of my friends have to leave?!”

“Pardon?”

“Francine is busy with the parents and they only want her. Nickie is going away to college and won’t have time to talk to me anymore. My friends from school stopped calling and none of them came to see me in the hospital. Benji only wants to be my pen pal because of you. And you’re not even my friend … you’re just my teacher and that doesn’t count. The Crankstons were interesting and they had birds and understood me.”

Ouch.

As calmly as I could I said, “The Crankstons were interesting people … when they allowed people to get to know them.”

I’m not sure what else I would have said beyond that because Vit – who I had not realized had returned to the cabin – stepped out and said, “Inside. Now.” Automatically I went to obey but he held up a hand to stop me and I realized he was speaking directly to Frankie.

I opened my mouth to saying something, but Vit gave a minute shake of his head. About a half hour later my nerves were strung as tightly as they’ve been in a while and hurt at Frankie’s words had had time to come and go. After all, he is correct, I am just his teacher. When the slider opened Vit came out. “The boy has gone to his cabin.”

I shrugged.

“You are angry at me?”

“No. Why should I be?”

“I … interfered.”

I sighed. “I don’t recall you throwing a snit fit when I dealt with Nicholas. And in all honesty, I’m beginning to think maybe they should have gotten a male tutor for Frankie. He is nine years old; old enough to need a man’s counsel on his behavior.”

“But still young enough he needs a woman’s touch as well. The boy’s words stung?”

I shrugged. Then shook my head. “Yes and no. I’ve been finding it necessary to remind myself that I’m not his sister, mother, aunt, or family of any form. I want to help him be stronger, not make him more dependent. Certainly not dependent on me. That’s not what my job is supposed to be.”

Vit eased himself into a chair. “This will pass. He is lucky you will not hold it against him.” When I looked at him he said, “Do not make yourself out to be something you are not. You will be the same as ever for him in the morning. But … perhaps I have impressed on him to be more appreciative of that fact. If this happens again Veta you will need to be stricter, remove privileges. He must not learn that such behavior is acceptable … under any circumstances. It is too easy for those of us who feel abandoned to take it out on other people. And yes, I speak from experience. On both sides. I begin to think Anichka could have … chosen … differently but in some part didn’t to make others pay in some respect for her unhappiness. Looking back, I think that was why many of us made the choices we did. I would give a lot to have made other choices. I do not wish to see another young boy have to suffer the same consequences.”

Quietly I told him, “It doesn’t seem to matter how far out you are from the bad things that happened. They’ll always have a type of power. Look at the mash up that Derrick and I sometimes make of things. We’re lucky that Angelia sees it, understands both of us, and can bring balance and order when things get … messed up. And just to keep you from having to ask the awkward question … no, I don’t have an Oedipus complex, nor any of the other psychobabble where Derrick is concerned. Lena used to say that I had an overattachment disorder just to hang a label on it.”

“Lena is the wife of Derrick?”

“Yes,” I snorted. “She’s … never mind. Just family stuff. I always hated all the labels people tried to hang on me. But I had to come to terms with the fact that labels were part of what I needed. I wanted to be a daughter to Poppa and Momma, a sister to all the others, and … eventually I wanted to try and recreate that with my fiancé but that obviously didn’t work out. I want to be a teacher … strove most of my life to get here … and yet here I am and it feels like I am doing a poor job of it.”

“The boy is progressing academically.”

“Frankie would have ‘progressed’ with even just a small bit of guidance. All I have to so is facilitate learning activities and he absorbs concepts like a sponge and with more retention and understanding than you would expect for a boy his age.”

“Agreed. But you are the one here as you say facilitating his learning activities.”

I looked over at him. “I’m feeling sorry for myself, aren’t I?”

“No. Just sad. His words were hurtful. Little boys don’t always know the power they hold over the females in their lives. Come, let’s go for a walk.”

“You don’t need to entertain me Vit. You have a life.”

“Do I? Do you think our concerns are so different? What am I really? Not teacher, not friend, not brother. Companion? He will soon not need that except because he misses people his own age to socialize with. I am merely a placeholder. Tonight he is with his grandmother at some local gala and it would be an embarrassment to have others know he needs a keeper on occasion. I am sure I will hear much … too much … about it tomorrow and it will be days before he returns to an acceptable level of calm. Two old women that conspire to help him behave in ways he should not, then blame me when he acts the spoiled child.”

After a moment I stood up and said, “Let’s go get a tea or something and celebrate working ourselves out of a job. Or isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing? We can put off thinking what comes after that and just think about the accomplishment for now.”

And that’s what we did … two turns around the ship on the promenade and then we returned to our deck with a cup of tea. Nicholas returned at the same time and Vit stopped to speak with him and I went on to the room to work on paperwork. Miss Hayworth stopped by after hearing of the incident and, contrary to what I expected, commended me for allowing Vit to impress on him the behavior expected of a gentleman. Apparently, Madam has been worrying that I was “babying” Frankie too much. Lovely. At least I now have words that I can use to include the incident in my weekly report. I was struggling with it.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 30: Sep 29 – Montreal, Quebec, Canada (Day 2)

Day two of Montreal and it wasn’t until this evening that Frankie sort of returned to his normal behavior with me. With others he was fine but me he was stiff and I thought still angry. I was wrong but didn’t find out until later.

This morning we strolled through historic Old Montreal to discover the character and charm of one of North America’s oldest cities. We learned about the eclectic mix of French and English influences that shaped this city as we navigated its cobblestone streets and narrow alleys utilizing a free walking tour I discovered before London. We walked through Place d’Armes, a public square dominated by the soaring neo-Gothic Notre Dame Basilica, then strolled down St. Jacques Street, the city’s first financial district and home to its banking institutions since the 19th century. We saw Montreal’s stylish integration of past and present as we continued past the Montreal’s version of the World Trade Center and through the interior walkways of the world’s largest pedestrian network toward the International District, passing Place Riopelle and the pink “Lipstick Forest” of Palais des Congrès. We walked downhill from City Hall to spend time in vibrant Place Jacques-Cartier, the entrance to the Old Port, and then headed back to the pick-up point for a ship arranged tour.

We ate from a street vendor’s cart for our lunch, but I almost wish I hadn’t wasted the money as Frankie barely ate half of his.

The afternoon was an immersive production of sorts created by Moment Factory and entitled AURA. It was a three-part performance using 140 lamps, 20 mirrors, lasers, projections on the ceiling and floors and specially composed orchestral work to explore the rich heritage and architectural beauty of the Notre Dame basilica. It started with a journey on a pathway of lights, which illuminated the Gothic-revivalist features of the church. The point was to get swept up in the music and visuals as we progressed farther into the heart of Notre Dame. To me it was distracting … not the least like we were touring a great church. Finally, we took a seat to “enjoy” what was supposed to be a stunning multimedia performance; rousing orchestral music that was supposed to create an emotional soundtrack as flashing lights frame the columns and stained-glass windows, stars shine and universes race across the vaulted ceiling. Perhaps I am too orthodox, or even puritanical, but I kept expecting to see the money lenders getting tossed from the temple, especially after finding out how much the tickets cost. This bothered me in a way that the conversion of church buildings into markets and government buildings hadn’t when we were in Edinburgh. At least there the “church” was no longer considered to be sanctified. The Basilica was still in use for worship.

From there we took a trolley back to the ship and I proceeded as always and asked him if he preferred to have room service or go up to the buffet and bring something down.

“You still want to eat dinner with me?”

“Unless you prefer someone else’s company. I can …”

“No Miss Veta! Can … may… we have room service?

“If that is your preference.”

“But Nickie said you wouldn’t want to eat dinner with me, and I’d have to eat in my cabin by myself.”

“Nicholas misspoke. However, in future when in doubt, simply ask me.”

“And … and afterwards I’ll straighten your post cards. I’m … I’m sorry I messed them up.”

“Thank you for the apology and the offer but we have some schoolwork to finish that is more important.”

For the next couple of hours we did schoolwork and then right before I was going to walk him down to his cabin he said, “I’m sorry Miss Veta. I don’t like it when people are mean to me. I shouldn’t have been mean to you. Will you still be my teacher?”

“Isn’t that what we were just doing?”

“But it doesn’t feel the same.”

I sighed. “Frankie I could say a lot of things but most of them would just be adult speak. Instead I’m going to try and say something that I think is important … for both of us to remember.” He was listening without looking at me but I said it anyway. “Frankie you are the kind of kid that every teacher hopes they have at least once in their career, and I got lucky and have you as my very first student. Thank you for that. I’ll probably windup in some way measuring all my other students that come after this by you … because you were my first, and because you are special. But when you said that I’m just your teacher you were right. I care about you Frankie but in the end, it is family relationships you need to cultivate because those are the ones that should last a lifetime. I know it hurts your feelings when your older siblings wind up having a life. Been there, done that … it is kind of one of the pitfalls of being the baby of the family. It always seems like you get left behind. But what it really means is that they get to go through the hard stuff first and we get to watch how they do it … and sometimes learn how not to do things. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

He shrugged. “But I’ll always be last.”

“Maybe. But there will always be people out there you can set a good example for. And they can learn from you the right way or the wrong way to do things. But back to family. Nicholas may not realize it right now, but he is a better person when he is trying to be a good brother. Your grandmother is a better woman when she is trying to be, not just the leader of your family, but a good leader to you in particular. When Francine stops to think and ask about you and Nicholas it makes her climb down out of the academic tower and see what is going on in the real world … and connecting to it in a way she doesn’t when she has her head in a science journal or a hole in the ground that just has bones or broken pots in it. And when you do your part it makes you seem mature for your age and a kind boy. All the people on this ship that have gone out of their way to take notice and mention it to your grandmother … in a way it gives them a good feeling too. Those good times and feelings, the good memories, are what we build up … like a savings account … so that we have something to draw on when the bad times come. Your bank account of good things might be feeling a little low right now, because of the rough patch you’ve had for a while. And maybe because of that you are a little more sensitive as well. And when our savings of good things feels like it is going away … we don’t always feel or act very well. When you heap bad things on top of bad things … you wind up going bankrupt after a while. Still with me?”

“I guess.”

“Okay, I’m not going to say much more but what I do want you to understand is … I am not going to go away. I made a promise to do this job to the best of my ability. But also, I Veta Petric, made a promise to you, Frankie Marchand, that I would be YOUR teacher. One day this job is going to come to an end. That is the way life works. But when that day comes, I want it to be because you are ready for the next adventure life has for you. I don’t want to be a handicap … a trap that keeps you from reaching your full potential. I want to be the best teacher I can be so that you don’t need me the same way you do right now. Not because I don’t care about you, but because I do. Sometimes that means I’ll be able to wear my friendship hat … most of the time that means I need to wear my teacher hat and be a teacher which might feel like I’m not your friend. But either way, I’m going to be there for you. That is one thing you don’t need to worry about. Now, it is bedtime. Let’s both try and make tomorrow a better day. Okay?”

I walked him down to his cabin and then returned to mine. Vit was waiting, having hung back when he saw us in the hall. We walked into the cabin together. “Things do not look like they have improved.”

“Eh … things just got a little heavy.” I saw the questioning look and said, “Serious. What is wrong did not get broken overnight and it isn’t going to get fixed overnight. Professor Danbury warned me about getting too attached.”

“Perhaps. But that is her way of teaching. And if I understand she does not teach children … or at least not young children. Find your own way of teaching.” He seemed grateful to see that there was hot water in the carafe and fixed himself a cup of tea. “I have thought about it and I do not think I could so easily work with those Frankie’s age without some form of attachment. But Frankie may be a unique example. The younger children of the yacht’s owner did not make me feel the same way. Often I thought about using them for fish bait or simply leaving them on a deserted island to live like the little savages they behaved as.”

I was a little surprised at his tone. “Sounds bad.”

He snorted and then shrugged. “He has several and all but one or two … bah. They are the kind of kids that need to spend a few years serving in trenches with all of their privileges stripped away.” He left it at that then asked, “Will you speak to me in Ukrainian? I feel as if I am … losing myself.”

I switched over and then asked, “Has something in particular made you feel this way?”

He eased down into “his chair” and then took a thoughtful moment to answer. “I have never been on this side of the passenger list. It gives me a different perspective, one I am perhaps growing too comfortable with.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I am losing my understanding of how the … whatever they are calling themselves now … the ‘occupiers’ or ‘yellow jackets’ and those other titles that make no sense …”. He shook his head. “Not so long ago I might have joined in a few of their demonstrations … their causes. Now, I see no purpose to the destruction and anger. They are not teaching any lessons, only causing more strife. They improve nothing, only destroy. Lately all I can see is a form of self-gratification as they justify and rationalize their actions … if they even bother to anymore. It is destruction for the sake of destruction. I grow too old to find that something to give esteem.”

Thinking of some of the conversations I’ve heard on the topic between others I said, “Maybe it isn’t that you’ve lost touch with them but that they are the ones that have lost touch. Robert once made sense to me as well when he would propound on what he saw as the fine example the leaders of those groups set. I often felt ignorant or foolish for not ‘getting it,’ as if I had some lack of character and not them. In the beginning some of their desires are reasonable … or at least seem so on the surface. It is how they go about trying to attain those goals that seem counterproductive. And some of their stated goals are unreasonable … and some completely nonsensical. It isn’t even that they are idealistic. Too often they are, or they become, the very thing they say they fight against. As one of my nephews is fond of saying of some of this school friends … the hypocrisy is strong in them.”

He thought about it then nodded. “Ah, a Star Wars reference.”

“It is a rare conversation when he can’t sneak at least one such reference in. Sort of like your cabin mate that talked American football a little more than was healthy.”

He snorted. “A little more?” Then he took a sip of his tea and sighed before saying in English, “Thank you.”

“For?”

“You are not the only one that sometimes questions being here … and what is going to come next.”

“Well ‘next’ is a long way off for both of us right now. And if you need some time to find what your ‘next’ is then you can come to Pembroke with me and help me scrape wallpaper. Years and years and layers of wallpaper. It is like a zen project. And if you don’t know what you want to do after that, at least you’ll know you won’t want to scrape wallpaper for the rest of your life.”

“You … you jest?”

I thought about it and then said. “Bonafide offer. But not one you must accept right now … or ever. You’ve got time. And zero pressure. I do think you and Derrick would get along though. And I know Angelia and Charlie would like you. Heck, they’re inclined to like you now just because they know you’ve insisted on acting the protector even when I’ve given you reason not to.”

“And … they would know this how?”

“Emails.”

“But they are your family. Are they not concerned that I am just a man with no family? No connections to verify my honor?”

“Vit, I came to them an orphan and when Poppa and Momma died, they could have cut me loose and told me it was time to find my own way. They did not. They don’t hold that sort of thing against people. As for your honor, you prove it to me every day. That will be good enough for Derrick and he’ll set the tone for the rest of them … because that’s how it has always been. Now stop teasing yourself about it. Do you want to watch a movie, or do you have paperwork to do?”

He gave it some thought, “A bit of both, then an early night. Tomorrow will be demanding … or at least trying to keep our charges from running ahead of the rest of the group is going to try our patience.”

I didn’t disagree with him and I think we are both finished with our work and the movie and it is time to rest.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 31: Sep 30 – Quebec City, Quebec, Canada

I am glad I have two pairs of walking shoes. My pair from today are soaking wet after I was forced to hose them off to clean them of the mud from today’s hike. I should have brought the blasted croc rainboots.

After the morning excursion the boys wanted to swim the afternoon away rather than do any more walking in town and Vit and I were both a little relieved. It is not so much that the hiking was strenuous, it was as Vit had predicted, that we would need to hold them back from going too far ahead of the group we were traveling with. Ugh.

The excursion started with a narrated drive to the Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré set on the St. Lawrence River. The place is stunning. This Catholic pilgrimage shrine welcomes half a million visitors each year and the crowds were enough to nearly use all the oxygen in the setting. We were still able to admire the sanctuary’s paintings, mosaics and stained-glass windows, but it would have been nicer if we could have done it with fewer people. From there we continued to the magnificent Sainte-Anne Falls; this torrential cascade has carved the spectacular Sainte-Anne Canyon. We crossed a multitude of suspension bridges—one of which towers nearly 200 feet above the ground—and took in the incredible views. Afterwards, we crossed the St. Lawrence River via the island of Île d’Orléans, known as the “Open Garden of Quebec” due to its vast farmlands. Then just to make sure the boys were good and wound up, we made a stop at a local cabane à sucre (sugar shack) where we sampled some of the famous “taffy on snow.” So like I said, we were both ready to, as Momma would occasionally say, harness them to a plow and put them to work if they were going to have that kind of energy.

I told Vit I would watch them if he wanted to use the sauna. He accepted with a promise that it would be my turn next. The ship was pulling out and we were watching from the railing when he found us. ‘I did not realize the time.”

“I was about to send Nicholas to change for dinner. You are both expected tonight.”

He sighed. “Next time. Or let me take Frankie and you can relax during dinner.”

I shook my head. “He’s already drooping, and I suspect will eat, load his pictures and then promptly nod off. I’m going to let him. He is all caught up on lessons anyway.”

“You are certain?”

I nodded, and we all filed down to our respective cabins for evening activities. As I predicted Frankie didn’t last much beyond dinner. I took him to his cabin rather than allowing him to fall asleep on the sofa then having to move him when Vit came back. Vit seemed preoccupied but only asked if I minded if he watched a movie. I rolled my eyes and then tossed the control box to him and slowly whatever was riding him seemed to go and let him relax. As soon as he is out of the bathroom I will change, and we will get some sleep. We will be in Canada, or cruising between Canadian ports, for another week and then it will be our first US port. On one of those Sea Days I need to package up what I want to send home.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 32: Oct 1 – Saguenay, Quebec, Canada

Back to Saguenay. This morning we rode a Zodiac boat … super-fast airboat but not the kind in the Everglades … on the Saguenary Fjord in the National Park. I can’t tell you how fun – not – it was to transfer from the ship there on a “charming” school bus but the ride itself was exhilarating. What a speed rush. The fjord is 65 miles long and lined by cliffs where peregrine falcons play. It was a stunning confluence of deep forest and marine habitats. I was a little cold and the warning to dress warmly was much appreciated.

Nicholas and Vit, who had joined us despite having already done this the first time around, appreciated Miss Veta’s Magic Back Pack because we didn’t eat a true lunch as the next part of our day was a “foodie experience.” Vit and I had fun, but the boys were only interested when there was actual food to put in their mouths.

The first stop was at the Boivin Cheese Factory, a family-run business established in 1939. Their primary product is a cheddar, but they also produce cheese curds and some soft gourmet cheeses. Derrick’s father in law is a cheese-a-holic and the Foundation events always have tons of cheese type appetizers. He would have loved the place, but I had to quickly stop that thought path as I could feel myself growing sad.

The next stop was at Domaine le Cageot. It is a farm that produces wine and other alcoholic beverages from berries. The staff was nice enough to provide a non-alcoholic alternative and while I mostly stuck to that I admit that I tried the raspberry liqueur with a chocolate candy – it took a lot not to make a ridiculous face of pleasure, but someone was watching. We were also given the opportunity to sample the first blueberry sparkling wine produced in the world for a commercial market. From there it was back to the ship and I really didn’t want any dinner, but I got a fruit and cheese plate just to say I was eating something while Frankie had a plate of white spaghetti. I think the boy would eat pasta exclusively if he was allowed so long as there was no tomato sauce involved. How he stays so thin I have no idea. Anything that even thinks it is a carb goes straight to my … bottom line.

After Frankie went to bed, I decided to wash my hair. I came out to find that Vit had returned. I hurried back into the room and changed out of my robe and into some clean yoga pants and a less revealing top. Coming back out the second time he asked, “Did I disturb you?”

“No. And it is I who should apologize. I was just being lazy and didn’t change as I should have. But you are back earlier than normal.”

“Tomorrow is a Sea Day and I plan on getting up and exercising. I was always able to find time for exercising before. I am making this too complicated. I will join you … if you do not mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind, but I thought you preferred to sleep in until I was out of the way.”

“Preferring something and it being the best plan are not necessarily the same. All this rich food is not agreeing with me. I am eating far too many of your tablets,” he said referring to the fact that he’s had to “borrow”my bottle of antacids on nearly a daily basis.

When I started speaking to him in Ukrainian, asking what he had for dinner he said, “Thank you but … I should speak English. I know my syntax is sometimes in error.”

“There is nothing wrong with being multi-lingual.”

“That is not what I mean. It is that …,” he stopped and looked out the glass sliders. “It is not my home. It will never be my home again. But … there is something that is in the blood. Sometimes I long for it, but it is a longing for what the place never gave me. If I went back, I would only need to find a way to escape once again.”

A little surprised because how he always romanticized his homeland I asked, “You’ll never go back?”

“There is nothing to go back to. Had I a clan or family or any other kind of affiliation … but I do not.”

“What about friends from when you were in the military?”

“No. My original injury … I was … in disgrace for a time. They thought I had shot myself to be relieved of duty.”

“They thought … which means that isn’t what happened.”

He was silent long enough that I thought he was going to refuse to say anything. Then … “We were being ordered to … I am not permitted to speak of it, it is only to say we would have died to a man. The officer in charge was … mentally damaged. Everyone knew it, no one did anything about it. Some of the men in my unit … it was a mutiny. They were going to shoot the man in cold blood. When I tried to stop them, I was shot instead. They thought I was dead so when the mutiny failed there was no one that bothered to defend me. But I survived, and I had to fight for my honor. Those I thought were friends … turned their back on me, abandoned me. I was not given a … what your military calls a dishonorable discharge but nor was there anything left for me to return to. It was as if I was contaminated. It was a circumstance our superiors wanted buried because of embarrassment for certain people. I became invisible because no one wanted to admit knowing me or be known for associating with me. The only reason I was able to find employment even after university is because the yacht owner was known to pay poorly and hard to work for and I was desperate enough to agree go to work for such a man.”

“How were you reinjured?”

“Pirates tried to board the yacht.”

“Pirates?!”

“Not the kind in old American movies.”

“I … I know that. You mean like the kind that created the problem in Liverpool. Just … how badly were you injured?”

“About like before.”

“You nearly died?! Twice?!”

“Veta …”

“Vit!” I calmed myself. “Look, maybe it isn’t my business and I certainly can’t go back and change what happened. But … you’re my friend and … and knowing the type of man you are I know it must hurt. And it hurts me to even think I may never have met you all because of idiots in this world.”

“Ah. So it is not because you feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t even know how you think I would get to that point. Do you feel sorry for me for being an orphan? Do you feel sorry for me because my fiancé was unfaithful and then dumped me? Do you feel sorry for me because …”

“No Veta. Enough. I should not have asked. Let us end this conversation. It is merely how I wound up where I am. And why I should be more careful what I eat. Let us leave it at that. And you did not say that the man who was to be your husband was dishonorable to you.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Yes. It should give you a distrust of men so how have you given me yours?”

“Because my ex may have wound up being … dishonorable but I’ve had lots of good examples of men treating me with honor. I’m not going to let one bad apple spoil the entire barrel. And you remind me of those men and not my ex. End of that particular discussion please.”

“Ah. Agreed. So … what are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I need to get some organizing done but that will have to be between and after keeping Frankie occupied. Depending on the weather I was going to try and see if he is ready for snorkeling. If the weather does not cooperate then our exercise will be fast walking and geometry on the promenade deck. And if the weather really doesn’t cooperate, or if he gets his other lessons complete, then I have several nature videos downloaded for him to watch here or on deck in some out of the way location.”

He nodded. “Your concern for the weather is warranted. During dinner there was an announcement that some scheduled activities may be cancelled or relocated. The pool may be closed if the weather becomes rough. Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.”

“Please don’t curse us like that,” I said with a groan.

He grinned and then headed to the sleeping area giving me time and privacy to finish my other tasks. I think Vit has had a much more difficult life than he lets on. Certainly he would be easy to mistake for a well-to-do man about town with the way he dresses and speaks, but obviously that is not the case. At least he hasn’t allowed his beginnings to dictate his direction in life.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 33: Oct 2 – Cruise the St. Lawrence River

I feel very accomplished. I found out that I could arrange for the bottles of wine (no small number now that I’ve added them all up … ouch) that I have purchased to be sent directly to Angelia. It doesn’t exactly bypass Customs, but it will make it easier for me to mail everything else home. I emailed Angelia with the confirmation and tracking numbers. They won’t get into the postal system until Boston but at least most of it is in process. Next, I boxed up what I intend to mail myself and found the closest USPS store to the pier in Boston. There is one right there because of all the mail the ships coming in and out of port create, not to mention the Port Authority and commercial shipping offices near the pier. I weighed the box with my luggage scale and then purchased postage online, so it will merely be a quick drop off. Hurray for me.

So, I will be mailing things out on Day 38 (plus the two weeks in London) of the cruise. Hard to believe that I will have been away from home and family for two months at that point. That blows my mind. My next “package home” will likely be Day 125 or 127, depending on what can be arranged; that’s when we will be in San Diego or LA. It will also be immediately after the New Year which means that the post office is going to be a nightmare so I need to be as prepared as possible, so I do not wind up with a problem on my hands. After that I am going to have to be responsible for keeping everything until we disembark the cruise or perhaps shipping it back from Heathrow. One of the ways I hope to save myself some space is to ship back – or even donate – any educational resources that I no longer need at those times.

I did have a rather halting and strange request from Vit.

It was while we were exercising, both of us choosing the relative solitude and quiet of the early, grey morning on Deck 9. I was finishing some pilates and cooling down with a yoga position when he stopped mid push up and asked, “Was your invitation serious?”

It only took me a moment to realize what he was referring to. “That you should come meet my family if you have nothing better to do after the cruise? Yes.”

“And if your brother objects?”

“Which one? And they wouldn’t. They like you.”

“They do not know me.”

“So perfect opportunity for that to be remedied.”

He turned and finding me all but standing on my head he blinked. “The blood has rushed to your head.”

“All the better to oxygenize my brain.”

“I accept.”

I came down out of the position and looked at him and grinned. “Good. Do you like to fish?”

“Hmm?”

“There is a creek full of fish on the property. It is a great place to sit and think even if you don’t catch a thing.”

“Yes. I like to eat so I like to fish.”

“Good. There’s also some ridiculous chickens and the neighbor used to have a couple of crazy llamas.”

“Llamas?”

“I told you they were ridiculous.”

“No, you said the chickens were ridiculous. The neighbors are crazy.”

“The llamas are crazy. The neighbors are merely peculiar. The geese on the other hand are feral and really mean, and the goats … do not get me started on the goats. Just don’t ever bend over … it is like waving a red cape in front of a bull in Madrid. Which apparently is a real thing. I thought it was just a bit of silly theatrics until I saw it on NatGeo.”

“It is a real thing. I saw a bull fight in Madrid once. The bull won.”

“Ew.”

“It was.”

I giggled at the extremely odd conversation and then in a different tone he asked, “May I send my excess belongings to your Pembroke House? I will pay for their storage there.”

“Sure. But if you mention paying to store them one more time I’ll be upset. We’re friends Vit. You need a base of operations to figure out what you want to do next. And don’t go all stubborn Cossack, you know you’d say the same thing to me if our positions were reversed.”

“I would at least allow you to pretend to keep your honor.”

“Suuuurrre you would. Now knock it off. If you have to do something you can help me scrape wallpaper.”

“The zen activity.”

“You got it.”

There was a moment of silence then said, “Veta?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

After a few more reps we went back to the cabin to clean up and get the boys up to go to breakfast. They seemed surprised that we allowed them to sleep in; surprised but not averse. We had just left the breakfast buffet when the wind picked up and the first bullet like rain drops started falling.

It was a lazy day. Frankie did complete his schoolwork and even Nicholas studied for his CLEP tests, but by and large the day was like a long intermittent nap. I heard after dinner that it was the same for many people on board ship. Even the lecture had been cancelled due to the weather making things rock enough to be annoying. Frankie went to dinner with his brother and grandmother and I stayed to finish deciding what to keep and what to send. And it wasn’t just a decision of what to send but what to send it home in. The few breakables that I was worried about I wrapped up in the tights that have turned out to be useless, got a run in them, or colors that I haven’t been able to stand wearing even though they might technically match the outfit I bought them for. I then stuck them inside something else, such as a tea tin (the nice ones that I don’t want to just pitch). The outer box was one that I had packed things to keep them tight and organized in the footlocker. I knew it would come in handy for something because it has thick and sturdy sides.

To further shrink what I have remaining in my current storage, I took the time to scan completed worksheets and lab sheets then shredded and recycled the hard copies. I also copied the DVDs that I hadn’t had time to before I left and sent the discs back. I nearly sent my postcard box back but then decided not to. I know it is a little silly, but the post cards aren’t hurting anyone. I’ll reevaluate the situation come San Diego. By San Diego I will also probably send home some of my warmer wardrobe except for maybe a lightweight sweater. I’ve made myself a list in my calendar, hopefully all my plans will work out.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 34: Oct 3 – Gaspe’, Quebec, Canada

Brrrrrrrr and damp but still gorgeous. It isn’t bad at all during the day but at night the temperature drops and the wind picks up. We docked at 8 am and spent the day in Forillon National Park. Canadian National Parks, similar to those in the US, have stamps that you can collect as a bit of memorabilia. I have a book that Poppa bought me when I was a little girl that I used to “collect” the parks we visited. I have a ton of Junior Ranger badges as well. Yes, I’m a bit of an overachiever … or was … am … I suppose it depends on your perspective. On the other hand, sometimes it feels like all I had to give has barely kept my head above water.

The first part of the day was spent in a park overview. We savored breathtaking views as we set out on the scenic drive to Forillon National Park. We were witness to geological formations that date back millennia. The rock formations, colonies of seabirds, and arctic-alpine plants give the park its character. We visited the Hyman & Sons General Store and Blanchette House, where we found out about the typical operation of a local store that was central to the survival of a community during that era. We visited the home of the Blanchette family and learned, through costumed proctors, about life as it was during the 19th century.

After that it was a picnic lunch … aka a “box lunch” provided by the excursion company. Thank goodness for Miss Veta’s magic backpack or the boys would likely have starved … or thought they were starving. Vit tried to man it out … but then gratefully took a couple of snacks that I stuck in his pocket. Honestly, the kind of food that will tide over older adults with slower metabolisms simply will not suffice for two growing boys and an active, adult male. Frankly the lunch barely did enough for me.

After lunch we took a very nice hike; not too strenuous, but it required enough energy and attention that we were at least engaged in it. The park is located on the eastern end of the Appalachian mountain range, and it is Canada’s first national park. The trail we took is called the Mont-Saint-Alban trail and was a 3½-mile hike through majestic mountains populated by black bears, porcupines, beavers and many varieties of birds. It did get steep over the first mile and we lost two of the hikers who decided they weren’t up for it, but it was otherwise very enjoyable. We made it to an observation tower without further fanfare, that offered stunning views of the forest. The cliffs were gorgeous as they dropped precipitously down to the waters of the Gulf of St. Lawrence. After the invigorating hike, we returned to the ship.

When Nicholas and Vit stopped by after dinner to ask us if we would like to go for ice cream, they caught me giving Frankie some first aid where he’d gotten a blister on his heel. “Next time just tell me. There’s no crime in needing a bandaid.”

“I didn’t want Nickie to think I couldn’t keep up.”

The young man in question said, “Don’t use me as an excuse. Feets are important tools of the game Squirt. Treat ‘em right so they can take you where you want to go.”

I gave him points for advice if not delivery. Either way ice cream was welcome and then Frankie and I returned to our respective cabins … Frankie to sleep as the hike and clean air had done him good … and me to work on my reports and personal notes. Tomorrow is another Sea Day and I’ve been informed that Frankie is invited to spend the day with Madam Marchand as she and some of her new friends are going to visit with one of the senior tour guides who will speak about upcoming ports of call as well as watch movies on local wildlife. I suspect Madam is going to pump Frankie for information, so they can win the trivia games. That gives me nearly an entire free day. What on earth am I going to do with it?

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 35: Oct 4 – Cruise the Gulf of St. Lawrence

Spent the day updating my Shutterfly page, answering family correspondence, and exercising. Or at least I exercised in the morning. Mid-morning – after getting frustrated with the wifi connection – Vit convinced me to join him and Nicholas in the fitness center and spa. They also talked me into the snow grotto but I came out in under five minutes, told them they bordered on the neurologically challenged, and got straight back into the steaming hot tub. They both laughed. Ha ha. Hysterically funny. Not. I simply do not understand how someone can find freezing yourself in the least enjoyable. They call it “stimulating.” I call it certifiable.

They didn’t find it quite so funny when I challenged them to some pilates and yoga positions. Hah! I told them a little less external stimulation and little more core strength.

“You are a dancer.”

I looked at Vit and laughed. “I’ve taken classes over the years but no, I’m not really what you would call a dancer. Poppa and Momma nearly changed my name to Grace.”

It took him a moment to puzzle that out. “Ah. A pun. But you …” He moved his hand, referring to the pose I was holding.

“Hard won. Very hard won. Have I ever mentioned my sister Barbie?”

He thought for a moment then said, “She is an adopted sister … close to the sister Angelia.”

“Yep. Anyway she has a degree in sports medicine … she works at a gym where athletes get therapy for injuries … and she kept telling Poppa and Derrick that something was just off, that I wasn’t just clumsy. Momma kept making excuses that I was a late bloomer or going through an awkward stage.” I shrugged. “Turns out Barbie was correct. Around age ten I was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction.”

When they both just stared at me I flicked water at them. “A lot of micro-preemies have it. And the problems with my eyes and ears just masked the problem or was the rationale for why I was like I was. I got a lot of occupational therapy and ‘poof’ here I am.”

A little carelessly Nicholas said, “So that’s why you are like you are.”

Vit turned on him with a snarl before any of us expected it. “Vit! It’s fine. And at least in part true.”

“That is no excuse for that kind of rudeness!”

Nicholas knew he had a tiger by the tail. “I’m really sorry Miss Veta. It didn’t come out right. I just mean … you get Frankie’s issues where a lot of people, even our parental units, they just don’t get him. Heck I didn’t get him really until … I don’t know … watching you kinda make the world make sense for him.”

Vit allowed me to determine where I would take the conversation. I knew Nicholas had not meant to sound cruel, and the truth didn’t bother me, but his phrasing needed work.

“Nicholas, everyone has issues of some type in this life. Some get lucky and the issues are mild and easy to overcome. For others, it is a lot of work. Frankie and I both have our issues. Those issues, for lack of a better word, speak to one another. Frankie is a good kid. He’s helped me to … to … look, I’ve never been away from family this long, away from what is called my social support network who have always been my filter. For Frankie, the accomplishment is that he has learned how to … not have so many nightmares. And he is relearning to get his confidence back for many things in life. The trauma he suffered injured him more than just physically.”

Nicholas looked troubled. Then said a little slowly, “Yeah. Look … I don’t hate my parents or anything stupid like that. And it isn’t like I want to go back and change things ‘cause that is stupid too. But sometimes … sometimes I think maybe the parents would have been better off with just one kid … or no kids at all. I know they think they should have stopped with two. And yeah, I know Mother didn’t … I mean she just never … Frankie messed her up but it isn’t his fault. I guess Francine and I kinda fooled ourselves that he was better off in that school. Mother could be … geez … it was just messed up and my ol’ man is just oblivious … and maybe oblivious on purpose ‘cause that is what keeps the peace. I … I guess I better take up the slack or Frankie is going to wind up really messed up.”

A little surprised at his willingness to be this serious I told him, “Just be a good big brother. That’s what he needs … he doesn’t want to change your life, just be part of it … a welcome part and not one that is forced on you. And you never know … being a brother may prove to be one of the things you are best at and that you’ll be proudest of.”

“Yeah, well if that’s true I’m in trouble. I’ve been kinda crappy at it.”

“You’ve been doing a lot better. Frankie has noticed and appreciates it. But nine years old is nine years old. He’s not going to express it like Shakespeare.”

“Gawd I hope not,” he said in a worried, almost horrified tone.

I couldn’t help it and chuckled. “Take it easy before you break something. Just remember, no matter what, the two of you will always be brothers … always be family. That’s nothing anyone can ever take away from you. But you can on the other hand take it for granted and lose it that way. Up to you. I think the two of you can make a great team.”

“Yeah, the Squirt isn’t bad. Gonna have to do something about that gawd awful music he likes to listen to. Who the heck taught my brother that Screamo is good tunes? Man oh man.”

He then, having had enough of the personal conversation, swam out and went to change for lunch.

Vit looked at me and after a moment asked, “Should I know what Screamo is?”

“It’s emo-punk on steroids.”

“That makes no more sense than the term screamo.”

I smiled. “Out of tune, over-emotional screaming, aggressive, hard core punk full of dissonant lyrics.”

“That’s music?!”

I laughed. “If it’s too loud you’re too old.”

He sighed. “Then I am ancient. And you listen to this … this screamo?”

“No. Geez no. Some of Robert’s weirder friends were very emo. Poppa said they would have called it ‘goth’ in his day. Though it is somewhat different.” Vit nodded as if he understood what I meant. “Towards the end of our relationship he started listening to it … but I think mostly it was to appear to be part of that crowd as opposed to actually enjoying the music. I can’t stand it, even at low volume. I’m scared I’m going to lose my hearing.”

I shivered, and it wasn’t an act. One of our last and worst arguments had been over him putting a CD in my car and having it turned up loud so that when I got in and turned the car on … the volume of sound nearly blew my ear drum; I was recovering from an ear infection at the time. He’d thought it was just an affectation, but my ear literally bled from the assault. When he saw that he was stunned but he didn’t apologize, only called me weak. And how on earth did I get off on that tangent? Robert is out of my life, there is no use in combing through all the debris left in the wake of him dumping me.

The afternoon was very quiet as I spent some more time organizing my photos on my external hard drive and doing the kind of personal hygiene that is difficult sharing such a small space, particularly with a member of the opposite gender.

It is strange. In the past I would have been having a lot of problems … the ol’ anxiety creeping in … being away from family so long. The emails and occasional skype, face time, and traditional phone calls help but for whatever reason I have always craved the physical connection of the hugs and crowded rooms and the volume of sound that could happen when our family gets together. It isn’t blood that bonds us but our need for and support of each other. Things started changing when we lost both Momma and then Poppa. The family spread out, thinned out, but there was still some core … like a magnet … that would pull us back into the same orbit with each other. Angelia more than willingly took up that job. Derrick helps but it truly is Angelia who does most of it. As a satellite I am far away from everyone … a little like the planet Pluto. It was feeling cold and dark and lonely out here. But it is like I am forming another little solar system with the Milky Way that is my larger family.

I am being silly. Life changes. Sometimes it changes slowly, and you can see it coming. Sometimes it happens so fast it is hard to explain. Instead of analyzing it to death maybe I should just be grateful and accept it for as long as I have it.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 36: Oct 5 – Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Long day in port today. And we still haven’t pulled away from the dock yet; not until 11 pm. Nicholas and Vit dined onshore and have only just returned to the ship. The only reason I know is that Vit stopped at the cabin to remove his jacket and put a package on his bed before heading out to shepherd Nicholas around since the Captain is having some kind of champagne something or other going on. Not feeling into it myself. Amazing the kind of noise that adults can make. I was going to leave the sliders open or sit on the veranda but all the noise from the Explorer Club is silly. Frankie and I had a full day and I’m honestly ready for bed but with all the racket … and then the horn going off when we leave port … I believe I will just sit up a while longer and see how it goes.

It was a lot chillier than most of us expected; afterall this is Halifax, not Greenland. Ugh. I was glad that I hadn’t taken my ear covers out of my backpack, and had Frankie’s in there too, from Greenland. They were having an historically early cold snap and we were in port for the first snowstorm of the season. I took a video of it and sent it to the family, and I got many guffaws in response as my dislike of cold weather is pretty well legendary.

As for the day itself, we got off the ship as soon as it docked at eight to catch a trolley kind of thing to get an overview of the city. It was an 11-mile loop that went by places like the Old Burying Ground, the Public Gardens, St. Mary’s Basilica and St. George’s Round Church, and the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic. We could have hopped on and off, but I was looking more for a way to get off the boat and get an overview before getting back on the main activity for the morning. We did get off for a moment at the Pulbic Gardens and the Titanic cemetery, and I would have liked to have stayed longer, but time was a precious commodity I didn’t have to waste. At the Public Gardens there was a magnificent display of dahlias of many different colors and there were also several beds of roses. They are all gone now, or will be, thanks to the snow that made an appearance while we were at the cemetery.

Our major excursion (nearly cancelled due to weather) was a tall ship harbor cruise where we enjoyed striking views of Halifax’s harbor while leisurely cruising on board a classic three-masted steel schooner. It was only a short walk along the pier to our vessel, the Tall Ship Silva. The ship, originally built in 1939, was a general cargo hauler and bulk freighter for five decades before its decommissioning; it was subsequently restored, renovated and launched as a charter tour ship. Once on board, we had the standard safety briefing, then relaxed as the crew unfurled the sails and headed out into the harbor. And yes, I say relaxed with a grain of salt. I have gotten used to the kind of “sailing” you do on a cruise ship; this was different. But there were good things. We saw sweeping views of Halifax’s coastline. As an added bonus/goodie, we got to sample Canadian maple tarts and fresh Nova Scotian blueberry tarts while a local fiddler played some appropriate music. The passenger list was mixed meaning it wasn’t just reserved for people from our ship; there were four other ships in port at the same time as we … including the 3,600-passenger ship Regal Princess and two others that carried close to that many passengers … making for a hectic day at many of the stops I had planned.

As I am trying to be responsible spend less money ashore – that debit card won’t last forever and may not work in some ports of call – we went back to the ship for lunch. Going in and out of security isn’t a treat but we have no choice. Dropping any purchases off in the room helps as well. We had one more excursion of the day and I expected more problems than we had. It turned out to be quite fun.

In nearly a repeat of the trolley ride we took this morning; the afternoon was spent taking in the sites on a Segway. Yep, a Segway; those two-wheeled, eco-friendly things that you stand on to travel. It was cold and windy but fun nevertheless. It was a half-hour orientation just to use the thing and while it was helpful since I’ve never used one before, it seemed a bit overkill. On the other hand, we still had people in our group that couldn’t seem to tell their left from their right by the end of the excursion. The tour was mainly of Halifax’s waterfront and downtown area. Once again, we saw sites such as Government House, the historic cemeteries of the Old Burying Ground, and St. Mary’s Cathedral. We rode up to the Citadel, a fortified hilltop that offers sweeping views of the city and harbor. We also passed by the Victorian-era Halifax Public Gardens, whose beautiful, landscaped grounds and floral arrangements have been attracting admirers since 1867, or so said a historical marker on one of the wrought iron entry gates.

At the end of the tour most everyone seemed to be ready to get down and do something else. I could have lasted longer, and Frankie enjoyed himself immensely, but all good things must come to an end or you’ll wind up taking them for granted and “good” becomes relative and wasted. We both took lots of pictures and Frankie has chosen for one of his writing assignments the topic of how to see a city by Segway. I believe one or two other locations also has the Segways as an excursion option, I’ll have to investigate it.

We did have a leisurely stroll before getting back on-board ship that substituted for our normal ship-board constitutional, but after seeing how many people were still in the city, we opted to eat in the buffet rather than in our room as a change of pace. Frankie fell asleep during a movie, so I got him up and simply sent him to his cabin a little earlier than normal. He was fine with that after I told him he could finish watching the bird documentary while in bed. I checked on him 30 minutes later and he was already back to sleep.

Tomorrow is a Sea Day. We are going to be cruising south and I hope to spend some time on deck watching the coast go by. I think I need a day off. Won’t really have one tomorrow but at least it is a break before what is going to be my first foot on my country’s soil in almost six weeks. I’m feeling a little homesick, so I believe I’m going to watch a documentary to distract myself.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 37: Oct 6 – Cruise the Nova Scotia Coast

I am ridiculously excited. For the next five days we are in US ports; first two days we are in Boston and the last three we are in NYC. After that it is on to the Caribbean and finally back to warm weather. I have already arranged to ship my boxes home. It wound up being cheaper to send two boxes than one oversized box. We also boxed up some of Vit’s belongings and have them ready to ship. His whiskey will be on its way the same time as the wine. I found out that what Vit has with him is the sum total of his worldly belongings. I can’t imagine. Wow. But he has never had a true home as even in the military and then the yacht, he had very little opportunity to accumulate anything. And even if he had there would have been no place to store it. It explains why I have occasionally found him to be very detached.

The package on his bed last night was a new pair of slacks. He was rather embarrassed to admit that he’d gotten them on clearance. I asked him why he seemed upset.

“Veta … you are the daughter of a physician.”

“So?”

“Were you not raised with privilege?”

“You mean were we rich?”

“Yes,” he said, wincing at my phrasing.

I shrugged. “In some ways. In others not so much. When my parents were younger a lot of money was spent raising all the kids. By the time I came along they were all out of the house, or on their way out. That’s when Poppa started doing a lot of pro bono work and working with medical missions. There were always budgets and such in the house so that Poppa could continue his life’s work … Momma said it was his calling. And towards the end, Momma’s health required … well, I’m sure we had more than a lot of people around the world but we didn’t live financially crazy if that is what you were thinking. I was raised to shop the sales and thrift stores before buying anything new. As a matter of fact, the only reason I was able to stay in college the first two years is because everyone gave just a little to cover what I wasn’t able to pay on my own. That’s my family though, not everyone is so blessed.”

“You paid for your own education?”

“Most of it. I worked odd jobs before college but then became Momma’s full-time caregiver and Poppa put into an account what he would have paid someone to do what I did. Only I didn’t know it until after he … after he died. Then when I went away to school, I had a job on campus for a while and a couple of merit scholarships to help pay for my living expenses.” I shrugged again. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

“There is no need to apologize. It was my mistake. But what of your brother?”

“Derrick? He is a pediatric specialist, which for the sake of honesty I will admit brings in good money, but his and Lena’s student loans pretty much ate up a lot of his income the first few years they were married. It is one of the reasons why none of my sibs wanted me to take out loans. Several of them got into the trap of student loans and it took a while to dig themselves out. They said it would be better to take a gap year to save up money than it would be to sink myself in debt. By my senior year of university, it was a lot easier because I became known as someone that could translate Ukrainian and Russian and a few other languages, and I had a job translating some science journals for the library. My master’s degree happened only because I got a full ride academic scholarship and because I worked my butt off, being willing to take whatever grunge job I could scrape together to pay my living expenses. I cleaned apartments and dorms after a move out. I did some housekeeping for a couple of professors. I cleaned stalls at the stable I used to ride at to pay for my riding hours. Towards the end my primary income source was tutoring but there were a lot of us out there doing it and some of them were pretty ruthless.”

“A … ruthless tutor.”

I could hear him trying not to laugh at the idea. “Yes, ruthless. They would tear up other people’s advertising flyers, take down signs, and worst of all, they’d blacken the reputation of the other tutors. If the tutors were also students, then some would start rumors of cheating which could get you expelled.”

“This happened to you?”

“Once. Only once. A story got back to Professor Danbury, and Professor Diggs who was the professor I was TAing … working as a teaching assistant for at the time. They called the two of us in for a conference and … let us just say that the other tutor did not like that he’d been found out and didn’t get the scholarship renewed he’d been counting on. He had to take a semester off from graduating.”

Giving me an assessing look he said, “You do not seem sorry.”

“Because the creep got caught and then had to pay the consequences? No. I’m not. My reputation to me is the same thing as your honor is to you, and I wasn’t the only one he was doing it to. He wasn’t even that great of a tutor to begin with.”

Vit nodded then said, “I was always told that physicians in the US are very wealthy.”

“Maybe at one time a lot of them were but it has never been a guarantee. Plus, these days there is a premium on some services because of the shortages of doctors, but the doctor isn’t necessarily the end recipient for the higher costs of treatment. It isn’t exactly cheap to get a medical degree of any type and then there are the years you put in to getting it and the sacrifices you have to make along the way. When you become a doctor you have all of these expenses … biggest one is insurance … and if you have a practice it gets even more complicated. Derrick is like Poppa, he’d give all his time to his medical mission work if he could afford to, but he has other obligations and responsibilities. Lena looks after Derrick the same way Momma looked after Poppa … well sort of. Lena is from a very wealthy background and at one time had ambitions for Derrick. She finally understood that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and she started doing a lot of work for her own father’s foundation to fill whatever need she has in that regard. The main difference between Lena and Momma is that Lena enjoys the appearance of wealth so the cars they drive and the house they live in are … well …”

“I understand,” he said, letting me off the hook so I wouldn’t have to say something crass. “The yacht owner and his family were into ostentatious display as well.”

The brothers chose to go into the pool as it was heated, and they had the dome covering it. They needed the exercise. I was surprised to find out that Nicholas is diving certified and can also snorkel. He and Vit had decided to use the time to help Frankie prepare for a couple of excursions we have later on. I was happy to let them do that very thing. I can dive and snorkel, but I’ve never tried to teach someone else to do it. You can tell Vit has a lot of experience in that area. He said one of his jobs on the yacht had been to take the guests snorkeling and diving. His certifications are still good, and he is going to get his CPR and life saving certs renewed during the cruise when it comes due. The ship’s doctor has offered to have such a class for anyone interested. My CPR card is still good, but I may retake the class anyway for practice. It will look good on a curriculum vitae and resume either way. If I am reduced to being a Nanny because I cannot get a school posting, it wouldn’t be the world’s worst job.

The only other constructive thing I did today was to wash my laundry. I know I can use the cabin perk to send my laundry out, and I have for a couple of my items that needed dry cleaning, but I’ll wash my own underthings thank you very much. Oh, and the never-ending record keeping and lesson planning.

I did get a quick call into Derrick though the connection sucked to the point that I barely got to do more than say hello, ask after his health, and wonder why the background of the FaceTime looked like a hotel.

“Reggie has an out of town soccer match. You’ll probably see the pictures that Benji sends to Frankie. Do you know Frankie now has a following?”

“A what?”

“A following. They only know him as ‘the traveling boy’ but the kids apparently are getting a kick out of Frankie’s perspective on things.”

“Oh dear, I hope that Madam isn’t upset.”

“No one but Benji has access to his site or personal information.”

“Still, please make sure that Benji understands that it is important for privacy and the Marchands’ security.”

“Already have Veta,” he said, and thankfully I could tell he wasn’t offended. That’s when the signal started to get ridiculous, so we said our good byes.

I did try and ask him about Lena and he said he would talk to me about it when the boys weren’t around. That doesn’t sound good but what choice do I have but to respect his boundaries? I expected him to respect mine concerning Robert.

I did reconfirm with Angelia she wouldn’t mind taking the packages I was shipping home and to let her know that I would be holding onto Vit’s stuff for him as well. Basically,I was told, “don’t be stupid, of course it is all right.” Gotta love the Big Sis talk … she keeps things real.

And speaking of keeping things real I am done for the night. The next five days are going to be full ones.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 38: Oct 7 – Boston, Massachusetts, USA (Day 1) - Part 1

What a day I have had today. As much as I’ve cried you would think I was a child. Happy tears for the most part but sad ones when we had to part but still, such a surprise. And they were all in on it and I had absolutely no idea. Vit was the contact that arranged it through Madam Marchand and Miss Hayworth.

See it goes something like this. Vit, in his role as substitute big brother quietly contacted Derrick to introduce himself. No … Derrick and the family still do not know that we share a cabin. He was simply introducing himself and offering to be of service should the need arise. Derrick then asked Angelia and the others what they thought. Angelia told him not to look a gift horse in the mouth and to accept the offer in the spirit it was meant. The others basically said the same thing. Then Derrick got a bug in his ear about my birthday and he wanted to try and arrange something. Looking at the schedule it was a coincidence that Reggie had an out of town LaCross exhibition and … Derrick and Vit came up with a crazy idea. They didn’t tell Frankie or Nicholas since the two are not exactly what you would call duplicitous … or at least I can see right through them anytime they are up to something.

The ship docked at 7 am and I was in a hurry to get the boys up and out because our supposed excursion today was a private one arranged at the last moment. Uh huh. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. We were finally off the ship and I was looking for our bus when someone took my hand. I thought it was Frankie trying to get my attention and I turned and then yelped. “Benji?!”

The stinker just grinned naughtily. I nearly shrieked when I said, “Oh tell me you haven’t done anything crazy.”

Then another voice said, “Depends on how you look at it Aunt Veta.”

I turned sharply in the direction of the voice and yelped again, “Reggie?! Oh Lord, your dad is going to have a fit. Where’s my phone I need to call him.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?!”

Then a deeper voice chuckled and said, “Why call when I am standing right here?”

And then to my shame I burst into tears and threw myself in Derrick’s arms. “Brat!”

“Easy Veta. You’ll knock me off my feet and drown us both.”

Then I heard, “Well I feel forgotten.”

“Charlie?! Oh … oh … oh … I’m … I’m hallucinating or something.”

While Derrick kept me in a one-armed hug Charlie said, “Nope. The others all wanted to come but you know what it is like trying to get us all together at the same time. But they are going to laugh like loons at your reaction. Have it on vid. You are never living this down Short Stuff.”

I was wiping my tears and realized something almost immediately by the grin on Vit’s face. “You knew about this?!”

Then he gave a rare laugh out loud. “Your brothers are quite the conspirators. And stop worrying. We have the entire day. Fraulein Hayworth and Madam had as much fun hiding the secret as the rest of us. And your brothers … they wish for us to go with you today if you do not mind.”

I looked and Benji and Frankie were already talking animatedly, and Nicholas and Reggie were laughing at the look on my face and then Nicholas said, “Seriously, it’s cool Miss Veta.”

It was an all-day adventure that I have to say I think everyone enjoyed. Rather than stay in Boston we ventured outside of it to Cape Cod. Charlie – who operates his own freight company – made the arrangements. He knew me enough to take me to the side and explain it had all been arranged at a discount and that it was my birthday and to stop worrying it to death.

We met our guide and drove over the Cape Cod Canal to Sandwich, which established in 1624. We got a chance to admire its stately buildings that haven’t changed much since the 18th and 19th centuries. Then we stopped at the Dexter Grist Mill in the historic district, the oldest water mill in the United States. Its lush green setting and historic building have been preserved and still work. Next, we continued on to Hyannis, home of the famous Kennedy family. There is where we left the bus and embarked on a narrated sightseeing cruise along the Cape Cod Canal. After Hyannis we visited the town of Chatham on the southeast tip of Massachusetts’s mainland. That’s where we stopped for lunch at a local bistro, and then got a chance to really stretch our legs. It is also where Derrick finally opened up about what was going on with Lena.

“Lena is … refusing to see the reality of the situation. She checked herself out of treatment against doctor’s recommendations and is refusing to come home until I give in to her demands.”

“So she is what? Living with her parents?”

“No. They are not supporting her choices at all. Her father still believes that the hormone therapy she is taking … is, not was, as she refuses to stop … is having an adverse effect on her mental state.”

“And what do you believe?”

“That Lena is being Lena and insisting on having her way … at all costs. It has happened before but never to this magnitude.”

“But … is the doctor she is seeing telling her there is some kind of guarantee? I … I did some reading, trying to understand. There’s no guarantee she could get pregnant, or if she did conceive that she’d be able to carry to term. And that doesn’t even cover there is no way to determine a girl baby would be the result.”

“You know it. I know it. And I read the documentation that her doctor gave her … she demanded I do so … and even they admit in black and white print that there are no such guarantees. Her father has tried to explain it to her. Has even asked other colleagues to explain it to her. He’s arranged for a second opinion, but she refuses to go. When Lena gets like this it is a she-thinks-therefore-it-must-be scenario.”

“Oh Derrick.”

Derrick shook his head. “No. Not this time Veta. I understand that Lena has given me a lot over the years, made it possible for me to carry on the work that our father started … and Lena’s as well; but, this is just crazy.”

Disturbed at his phrasing I told him, “You shouldn’t say that.”

“It’s true. Each time she got pregnant she was miserable. I wasn’t there for Reuben, but her family has said it was the same way with him. Immediately afterward she would vow not to have another child … one way or the other. She was so adamant about it after Benji that I determined to take care of the matter myself but that’s when they found the first problem with my blood pressure. Instead Lena … she got an implant without me knowing. Then after she had to have it removed because of the problems it caused her … the idea of becoming pregnant again didn’t thrill her but she wasn’t opposed. But it never happened, and her doctor said she was perimenopausal. She was so involved with her charities, the Foundation, and all of the other that it didn’t seem to matter.”

“I think it did. It came up … in some of the things she said when I left to go to school.”

“So I gather from recent conversations with Angie. I wish I would have known the extent to which she … acted out with you. You know I would have never permitted it to continue.”

“That’s the thing Derrick. It didn’t once I left home. I really thought everything was resolved. It isn’t like I didn’t understand. Or at least mostly understand. We were all a mess and grieving and it wasn’t healthy for me to cling onto you like a barnacle, refusing to grow up the way I needed to. Part of me saw it … but I was too scared of all the changes and what they might mean. Once I got some perspective, I was able to apologize for my part of it and she apologized for hers. I understood her side once she explained her feelings. I didn’t … agree … with some of her concerns but I understood where she was coming from and it wasn’t unreasonable.”

“Oh Lena is always reasonable … right up until she isn’t. And this time she isn’t. And also this time her parents are not supporting it. The problem is that there is no real motivation for her to come home. The trust fund her grandparents left her allows her the financial resources to continue on in whatever way she desires … except for the Jackson farm which she is well and truly furious about. She says she’ll never live in the Millhouse.”

“And you?”

“The sale is already finalized. The boys and I will begin spending time there sooner rather than later, moving a few things at a time. Lena’s parents are even encouraging it.”

“How is Rueben taking this?”

“He and his mother had a huge blow up on another matter and … aren’t really speaking at this time.”

“What?! Rueben is so easy going … he never fights.”

“He decided he wanted to know about his biological father’s family.”

Shocked at that sudden revelation all I do was blink and say, “Oh.”

“Yes. He was going to do it without telling anyone until he’d decided how far he was going to pursue it, but somehow it got back to Lena and … and it was not pleasant. The man refused to accept his responsibility then, even with a blood test and court order. He still refuses to believe that Rueben is his son.”

“Rueben isn’t his son. He’s yours and Lena’s son.”

“Yes, yes. But you of all people should understand what I mean.” At my reluctant nod he continued. “And while the man and most of his family have their opinion there is a younger half brother that is desperate to know him.”

“That could get complicated.”

“When I say younger the man is 22 and doesn’t really have any contact with the bio-father and was himself adopted by his stepfather who as I understand it is welcoming of the situation and not threatened by it … so not the typical complications so much as emotional ones.”

“So I guess again my question is how is Rueben doing?”

“Well enough. He, like his grandfather, is leaning in the direction that it is the hormones that are making Lena so intractable. I worry they are all going to be disappointed to find that isn’t the sole cause of what is going on.”

“You sound so certain.”

“I’ve been married to the woman over twenty years … nearly twenty-five at this point. To last this long we had to come to some understanding of each other. I am not perfect and have needed a lot of grace over the years … and Lena equally so. Things came to a head right before Mom got sick, but we held it together, however it was a bitter time and took a while to heal from. The last couple of years have been great and I thought all that behind us. But … it would appear not. I have found out things …” He stopped and shook his head. “I am not against reconciliation. But not at the cost of supporting some of the things that she is demanding with no compromise.” More quietly yet, after looking around he added, “She just left the boys Veta. She hasn’t even suggested they visit her. To the contrary, she says she just can’t handle them right now. Reggie heard her say it and … and I think it has irreparably harmed his relationship with his mother. He refuses to even speak of her and Benji is following suit. I am concerned enough that I am going to have them in counseling before too much longer. I love my wife Veta … but she is creating a situation where I am having to choose between my love for her and my responsibilities as a father. Of all the possibilities I have ever considered, that never even entered my mind. That she would simply walk away from all three of them to find herself or whatever the latest catch phrase is. What Dad would say to this I don’t even want to think.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 38: Oct 7 – Boston, Massachusetts, USA (Day 1) - Part 2

Trying to comfort him and be realistic at the same time I said, “He would say you are doing the best you can with the cards you’ve been dealt. And all you can do right now is to continue doing it. I’ll support you. Talk to Angie, Rachel, and Dylan … you know they’ve had their own problems along those lines.”

“But only Angie’s marriage ended. And not even by divorce.”

“And yours may not … but … but … something is definitely wrong with Lena. I … geez … I hate to ask but … but …”

Guessing what I was asking he sighed. “Yes, she had an affair … of sorts. She swears it wasn’t physical as did the man in question. But it was a close thing … or at least he admitted that. The man no longer works for the Foundation, so I won’t say his name, but his family is still influential, and I believe that he and Lena still occasionally meet socially. He is married however and … will not divorce his wife.”

“Oh Derrick. I’m so sorry.”

“I was as well. It made me question things a man shouldn’t have to question. It was during the time right before Mom got worse. It was not long afterwards I started having the heart issues in a more serious way. Perhaps …”

“No. Don’t even go there Brat. Lena’s choices are not your responsibility.”

“From your tone I regret telling you.”

Forcing my voice into a milder tone regardless of my actual emotions I said, “Well I don’t regret your honesty. You need someone to talk to. Even if it is just your littlest sister. And no, I won’t say anything to anyone else. Just don’t let this eat you up. And I would try and put some bug in Lena’s doctor’s ear about … I don’t even know how to term what is going on.”

“Her father is already taking care of that. He’s met the head of that practice a few times but more importantly he knows some of their financial backers. My understanding is that she has a Jeckle and Hyde type personality. With me she is completely different from how she is with nearly everyone else and it makes me look like the villain in this piece. Except there are some others that are beginning to see a pattern that reflects poorly on Lena rather than me, a pattern that I have no way of controlling or influencing.” He shrugged fatalistically. “The information will trickle in. But if we push Lena too hard, she may simply go outside the country to gain treatment. She alluded that she would. And then have IVF or get a sperm donor or … whatever it took.”

“I hate to say this but … I hope she doesn’t get pregnant regardless of her methods. She isn’t stable enough to be a mother right now. She is destroying all her support network as well. And if she doesn’t get pregnant and carry it to term or it winds up being a boy …”

“Agreed though please do not repeat any of that. If it does occur the child will be my son’s sibling and …”

“Understood,” I told him quietly.

Benji and Frankie ran up to us at that point babbling about a peregrine falcon and they were shoving their phones in our faces where they had taken pictures of it.

Derrick wasn’t up for commenting immediately so I played silly Aunt Veta and drew their attention my way. “Goodness gracious. Your phones are practically closer to my eyes than my glasses are. Pull them back just a bit so I can focus and actually see what you are speaking about.” Both boys complied, and I told them how duly impressed I was and asked questions that got Derrick and the others off the hook having to sound interested.

It wasn’t long after that that it was Charlie’s turn. “So … you doing okay Vettie?”

Charlie is the only one that calls me that and it is a bit like a pet name so I’ve never objected. “Okay with what Derrick is going through or okay in general?”

“Either or but mostly I’m just asking if you are doing okay specifically. That guy Vit … is there anything there?”

“No,” I told him. “It isn’t an appropriate situation. Mostly, due to the tight circumstances that we are working in, we’ve agreed to treat each other as siblings.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said but I’m asking you if that’s what you say. Wasn’t that long ago that ass … er … Robert hurt you and none of us want to see you get taken advantage of again.”

“One, Robert didn’t take advantage of me. He changed and … he dumped me … but he didn’t take advantage of me in the way you are thinking. I wasn’t quite that foolish and … to be honest it was never about that to begin with for either one of us. We agreed to wait … only it appears that Robert found something to …” I stopped and shook my head. “I’ve already covered this ground a million times. Do I need to drag myself through the ashes again to jog your memory?”

“No,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Good. So Two, I’m over whatever hurt I took from Robert. I grieved the last of it in London after finding out … good Lord I haven’t even asked about how his family is doing.”

“Fine as far as I know. Moving on because they don’t really have another other choice in the matter. But … er … I guess Angie hasn’t gotten around to telling you that the girl is pregnant and claims it is Robert’s kid.”

There was a brief flash of pain but then it was gone. “No. No … she hadn’t. But that’s none of my business and … and thanks for telling me but … just whatever.”

“Yeah. I keep telling Der and Angie they need to stop protecting you so much. Only way you are going to learn is like the rest of us … let life happen and just deal with it.”

I can sum up my relationship with Charlie in one of my earliest memories. Barbie was ironing her scrubs. Charlie was there at the house as well. They had been assigned to “watch” me as Momma had one of her appointments. I was fascinated by how the iron ran over the wrinkly material and suddenly it was just neat and straight. Barbie had gone to get a hanger or can of starch or something and Charlie was standing right there as I reached over and touched the iron. I shrieked and jerked my finger away and started crying. I remember Barbie running back in and then yelling at Charlie for letting me get close to it.

“You told her not to mess with it.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Sure it is. She understood what you told her.” He bent down and picked me up and took me to the kitchen, sat me on the counter and got the first aid kit down. “Bet you won’t do that again will you Vettie. You were told to leave it alone. But you did it anyway. It was hot wasn’t it. I think you know the difference between right and wrong and stupid and smart. You going to be smart and leave it alone or are you going to be stupid and need me to talk to you about it?”

He waited until I understood he wanted an answer. “’Mart.”

“Good deal Vettie. Now hold still while I put some stuff on your finger to take the ouch away.”

The way Momma tells the story is that Barbie then just stood there not saying a word because that was one of the first times that I’d really spoken. All I really remember is that Charlie built Momma a shelf to hold the iron and it was a good three feet higher up than it used to be. Charlie is just like that … rough and tough but loving and protective all at the same time.

“Where’d you go Vettie?”

“Just thinking about irons.”

“Huh? Oh … you thinking this Vit guy is hot?” he said trying to crack a joke I didn’t find humorous. But I gave him points for trying.

“Funny. Haha. It isn’t that … I’m just thinking that I’ve learned to be smart enough to avoid getting burned. Vit is a friend and nearly as protective as any of you Brats I can lay claim to and more so than a couple of you. I remind him of a little girl that may or may not have been his sister.”

“So he told Derrick. And yes, he seems on the up and up. Dylan checked him out and what little he could find out matches what he told Derrick.”

Irritated enough I snapped, “Dylan did what?!”

“C’mon Vettie, it’s what Dylan does. You know that.”

“No one really knows what Dylan does, except he works for the government most of the time.”

“Well his clearance lets him do some checking and … the guy passed the sniff test. Just use some sense. With him and the kid. Our family may work like it does … but not everyone wants to live that way.”

“I know … watch how attached I get to him. I keep reminding myself.”

With more sympathy than I expected he said, “It isn’t about getting attached. Just watch to make sure letting go when this job is over with doesn’t tear you apart. Love on him … it’s what you do best … but just remember, he isn’t yours.”

I wanted to thump him but instead nodded and he gave me a hug to let me know he understood the ouch. He had gotten really close to a woman’s kids once … they were all but engaged to be married … then she pulled away and went back to her ex and it left a hole in Charlie that was a long time in mending.

You know I sometimes think that all the drama in our family is enough to write a soap opera around. But maybe it is that way for all families, whether anyone from the outside knows it or not. Secrets are called secrets for a reason.

Finally, we reboarded the little bus … it reminded me of a couple of the tour busses that we used on excursions in London … and headed back towards Boston for a panoramic tour around the city. The drive culminated at the Union Oyster House, open since 1826 and the nation’s oldest continually operating restaurant, where we had a traditional New England meal of clam chowder, lobster, and apple cobbler.

I didn’t cry until it was time for them to go. I quickly got it under control, but everyone had still seen and seemed to go out of their way to be funny to make me smile as they got back into their rental car and headed towards the airport where they would be flying out later that night. They told me they would let me know when they landed and all of the family yada, yada. I told them I’d upload all of the pictures that I’d taken that day for everyone to see. It was understood that the next time we saw each other would be the end of the cruise, some 200 days away. I tried not to do the math and say that was over six months from now, but my brain did it anyway and when I got back in the cabin I spent a few minutes in the bathroom with the water running so no one could hear me.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 38: Oct 7 – Boston, Massachusetts, USA (Day 1) - Part 3

The boys had headed off to Madam’s suite to let her know of their return and of their day. Vit accompanied them and I asked that he tell Madam and Miss Hayworth how grateful I was but that I was a bit overwhelmed and wasn’t fit for company at that moment.

I came out thinking I would be alone in the cabin only to find that Vit was letting the steward out that had brought a pot of hot chocolate.

“Your nose is red again.”

“It seems you see me like this too much.”

“No. You have a soft heart. It is not something to regret. Now come and sit. And do not speak of waistlines and scales. I am told on good authority that chocolate is necessary for a woman’s soul.”

I chuckled. “Maybe not necessary, but certainly welcome on some days.”

“On this day?”

I nodded and sat while he poured us both a cup of the nearly scalding brew. I’ve found that the cocoa on the ship is made from scratch from real cream and real dark chocolate … no powdered mixes.

“Vit I don’t know if I can ever thank you for this.”

“Then don’t.”

“But …”

“Veta, it brought me at least as much pleasure as you. And it was good to meet your brothers. They are good men. They did not make me feel inadequate. It … makes me feel … to have them trust me …” He stopped and drew a breath like he didn’t know exactly how to say what he meant.

“Vit?”

“People do not know what they take for granted until it is too late and they’ve lost it … sometimes purposefully and sometimes through no fault of their own. Or to know how it feels for those that have never had it. It is a balm to be … trusted … by men like your brothers. I will not … cannot … take that for granted. You are safe with me.”

“I know that. I’ve known that all along.”

“Have you? And what of … of that time?”

“It was a misunderstanding … but even then I never sensed anything less than honorable from you. That’s why I was so upset to think that you’d think that of me.”

“I did not mean …”

“I know. We both misspoke and misunderstood and … perhaps … allowed the living arrangements and stress of our positions to … make us … tired and worried.”

He nodded. “As long as those times do not return.”

“I don’t see how they can … so long as we keep communicating and being friends.”

“Yes. Let it be so. And now, unless you have anything else you need to do, let us go make sure that the packages were sent off. I did not see the receipts in the door as I expected.”

“That’s because they left them on the desk. I put yours on your bed.”

“Ah. That is good. I confirmed with Char-lie that your sister Angelia wasn’t just being nice about taking my package.”

“And he said?”

“To take your sister’s words at face value. She does not say things she does not mean.”

“Told you.”

“You did. But you are nice … perhaps too nice. I should go check on the boys.”

“Did you tell …?”

“They understood and waived it off as if it was no large thing. But for you it was, and I told them so.”

“I am going to write them a thank you note but I … I’m not sure …”

“The words will come when you need them. We start early in the morning. Are you certain you do not mind that we come with you on this Freedom Trail?”

“It isn’t going to be an excursion like today. I just want to get a bit of history in for Frankie.”

“That is good. And the walking will be good for Nicholas. He enjoyed having someone his age today.”

“Reggie is a good kid. I hope …”

Sensing my distress he asked, “The ‘family stuff’ continues for your family?”

“Yes, it does.”

“I gathered as much. Char-lie said he would let me know if I can help in any way. And your eyes grow tired. Perhaps an early night would be a good thing.”

“I’m only letting you boss me because I know you are right.”

He chuckled. “Ah … a woman of sound, good sense.”

I nearly stuck my tongue out at him. I would have gone to bed a while back, but I wanted to load the pictures as I had promised which gave me time to write this all out. But now it is time to turn the computer off and finish getting ready for bed.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 39: Oct 8 – Boston, Massachusetts, USA (Day 2)

I was a little slow getting going this morning so there was no exercise to wake me up. Thankfully Vit got the brothers up and moving, and breakfast at least partially revived us all.

“You are alright for today?” Vit asked after he caught me rubbing my temple more than once.

“I’m fine. Waiting for the naproxen to kick in.”

“You have a headache?”

“I woke up late. It always throws me off. How is your stomach?”

“Better thank you. If you are ready, we will start our day.”

Today was a short day as 2 pm was our scheduled time for leaving port which meant we were technically supposed to be back on board between one and one-thirty. I had hoped to take the trolley to the start of the Trail, but it was too early in the morning. But because it was so early we didn’t mind the brisk 45-minute walk to get from the cruise terminal to Boston Common. It also gave us time to get used to the crowded city. Once again there were multiple ships in port and there was construction everywhere you looked. That spoke of good things happening in the city’s economy, at least on the surface.

The day was a bit damp and blustery, but the temperature remained in the 60s F which kept it from being miserable. We hit every site along the Trail between Boston Common and Bunker Hill: Boston Common Visitors Center (small building but with much welcome public bathrooms), Massachusetts State House with its gold dome, Park Street Church, Granary Burying Ground, King's Chapel, Benjamin Franklin Statue & Boston Latin School, Old Corner Bookstore (now home to a Chipotle restaurant), Old South Meeting House, Old State House, Site of the Boston Massacre (the shot heard ‘round the world), Faneuil Hall, The Paul Revere House, Old North Church (“one if by sea, two if by land”). I wish there had been time to do more than walk by them but at least I was able to instill a little history and even Vit seemed to enjoy the stories and quite frankly seemed fascinated. He even bought a book on American history at a visitor center we entered.

The boys, as well as Vit and I, ate well from a sandwich shop and then a bakery in Boston’s Little Italy, otherwise known as the North End. We had cannolis and neopolitans from Mike’s Bakery, one of the most famous of the Italian bakeries in that area. There were lots of fun decorations hung along the streets because apparently October is Italian Heritage Month in Boston. We finished the last of the crumbs in the bag of broken cookies that we bought as we hustled down to the pier. We later found out that there was a tour bus that was running late so maybe we hadn’t needed to “hustle” but we didn’t know that at the time.

When we got back to our cabin I took out the marzipan I had purchased and put a thank you note on it. The brothers had let slip that marzipan was a particular favorite of Madam’s and I wanted her to know how much I appreciated the forbearance of allowing me a day with my family. I was nervous, but I walked to Madam’s suite and knocked on the door.

Miss Hayworth answered. “Oh, hello Veta. Is there a problem?”

“No ma’am. I … I just wanted to say thank you. For yesterday. It meant a great deal to me. While we were out today Nicholas and Frankie mentioned that Madam was … fond of … um … here. Will you please see that … oh dear, I sound positively ridiculous don’t I?”

A voice in the background said wryly, “Slightly. Why don’t you just come in instead of hovering in the doorway like that.”

I blanched to find Madame had guests. “My apologies Madam.”

“What’s this?”

I nervously handed her the box from the pastry shop. When she opened it, she cackled with glee rather startling me. She said, “The Marchand luck holds out. Take a look at this!”

Miss Hayworth looks inside the box then laughs. “You get your way even when you didn’t think you would.” Seeing my perplexed look Miss Hayworth explained – because Madam was biting into a piece of the marzipan - that the excursion they had been on had gotten caught in traffic so a stop at a bakery in Little Italy had to be canceled. Madam wasn’t best pleased because she had hoped to pick up some of the Italian delicacies herself.

“Thank you Madam. I really didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, no my dear. The ‘interruption’ brightened my day. Please tell my grandsons that they have the evening off to do as they please. I’m going to have a card party and I doubt either one of them would understand the deep play of the game.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I headed back to the cabin in time to tell Vit that he and the boys had a reprieve, and the night was theirs to do with as they wished.

“Then how about you come to dinner with us?”

“Um … are you sure?”

“Yes. We’ll even eat at the buffet and let the boys stuff themselves … after we do a bit of a workout in the pool so that Frankie can practice. Perhaps if you do your bendy exercises you will be inclined to eat more than a bird.”

“You saw what I ate today!”

“Yes, a sliver of a sandwich and the crumbs of the few cookies the boys did not inhale.”

“And a cannoli.”

“And a small, very plain cannoli.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Hah! Even your brothers remarked on what they called your diminished appetite. Now come, exercise, then eat. The next three days promise to be very busy with most of our days spent off the ship. I … I will not be there to make sure …”

“You’re treading into deep water again,” I told him warningly.

In frustration he said, “I know it. But Char-lie mentioned that all is not well in some of the larger cities. In his words, the usual suspects are beating their drums and swinging from the rafters. We saw that group doing whatever they were doing as they marched in circles with their placards, beating on upturned buckets like they were drums. Blowing whistles and saying I could not understand what.”

“You just described nearly every university in the country. That group was some union or other complaining that one job should be sufficient … whatever that means. I assume they were referring to the complaint that people want a ‘living wage’ or some such.”

“What is … living wage?”

“It means that people seem to think that no matter what the job is they do that it should pay them well enough to live as they please.”

“Er … then where is the motivation for … never mind. I do not know enough about your politics and economy. That must be rectified but I suppose now is not the time. Whatever it means there could be more of it in the ports of call coming.”

His concern was sweet but unnecessary. “I’m well aware that NYC is no place to play the fool. We will stick to excursions and the hop on hop off bus. And if you must, I can put you on the list that can track my phone.”

A little surprised he went, “Hmm?”

“I have a phone tracker on my phone. I can add you to the list that can track me and that should at least calm some of your hyperventilating.”

He shook his head at my term for what he was doing but was nevertheless surprised at my offer. “You … you will do this? Even though … I am not a real brother to you?”

“Didn’t I just say I would?”

“Then I accept. And thank you. I … will try and not be so … so …”

Not wanting to create a situation I told him, “Vit, don’t worry it to death. You are just a sheep dog. Just don’t make it like you feel I am too stupid to use commonsense and I won’t have a problem with it.”

“I do not wish you to think that I think you are … without commonsense.”

“Then don’t say things like you almost said. And if you are serious about the exercise let’s get going. You change and I’ll let the boys know.”

“Then you will change and come with us?”

“Sure. Why not?”

The remainder of the day went quickly after that. Vit is asleep in the chair where he was watching a show on upcoming ports of call and the brothers went off to bed after one more dish of ice cream – I don’t even know how they got it down their throats they ate so much at dinner – and now I’ve finished my notes and journaling. Vit is correct that the next three days will be full.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 40: Oct 9 – New York City, NY, USA (Day 1)

Arriving into the NYC harbor was amazing. The Verrazano Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, and the NYC skyline. It seemed like everyone was on deck though I know plenty had to be on their own veranda. We finally tied off at noon and it was an awful rush to get everyone off the ship and to the first excursion of the day. For Frankie and I that meant a HOHO type bus taking a panoramic tour of the city. We passed the Rockefeller Center, known as “30 Rock” where we hopped off and did the “Top of the Rock” viewing platform with pre-purchased tickets. Good thing they were “pre-purchased” as the line for unscheduled visits were closed out for the next two days. Next was Times Square and the Theater District surrounding Broadway. The show listings were amazing … My Fair Lady, Hamilton (a favorite of the “politically woke”), the musical revival of 42nd Street, Aladdin, Anastasia, Wicked (getting a little tired after being on Braodway for so long), the Lion King, King Kong, and so many others I lost count. The gorgeous St. Patrick’s Cathedral that we walked to from Rockefeller Center as it was just around the corner. We drove by both the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building. We also got a nice view of the Trump Tower with the black crape wreaths still visible on several of the entrances and the memorial around the building damage was finally nearing completion from the incident two years ago. When the family vowed to never forget, I think they meant they would never let anyone else forget.

Our route took us through some of the city’s most venerated and distinct neighborhoods: trendy Greenwich Village which was once again getting a little frayed and tired, SoHo, the bustling Financial District, and posh Fifth Avenue with its elegant boutiques. The only one we got off in to walk around was the Financial District as the others were a little sketchy for me to be hauling a nine-year-old through regardless of how “trendy” they were. We glimpsed Central Park, 843 acres of green in the heart of the city and spent a little time wandering the huge green space. We paused in Lower Manhattan at the National 9/11 Memorial to view the water features that sit within the original footprints of the Twin Towers and I must admit it choked me up even though it has been years in the past. I explained the history of the event in detail to Frankie and wound up with a group when someone from the ship recognized me and asked if I would translate something into Russian for a tourist that was having difficulty. In the process I met a Nanny who was from the Ukraine and we spent a moment allowing our charges to listen to a Ranger who was giving a short talk. She said I spoke very well considering I left at such a young age … and she wasn’t the first I shared a native country with who said they were glad for me that I got out by being adopted.

Lastly, we got a view of the Statue of Liberty from Battery Park before returning to the ship. It was far off in the harbor but still closer than most people get. Frankie was fascinated and we did a bit of math to give our approximate distance since we knew how tall she was and how tall she appeared to be. It was a little advanced for him, but he understood the concepts which was more what I was going for.

Vit had explained that he and Nicholas would be out on the town with Madam and not to expect them until quite late. He sounded more resigned than thrilled so I kept my envy in check. I did not often get a hankering for that type of activity, but I loved the memories of the time that Poppa and Derrick brought me to NYC during a medical conference. Besides, we had tickets to see Anastasia and were quite late getting back to the ship ourselves. Luckily, I figured out the subway system quickly and I cut quite a bit of time off our trip since we were docked in Manhattan. I was even happier that we didn’t have to dock in Brooklyn as that would have made getting back at night even more difficult.

It is nice to have such good connectivity with the internet. Things appear to fly compared to what we’ve been experiencing since Greenland; not even Boston was this fast. Frankie even face-timed Benji who ran with his phone to Derrick and we got a few words in though I could tell that he was tired and needed to rest rather than be on the phone. I decided to see if any of my siblings were available and got Charlie on the first ring.

“Vettie! How ya doing Squirt? It’s a little late in the night for a call. Anything wrong?”

He was loud enough that Frankie heard him and it set him off to laughing. Oh joy.

“Just checking to make sure everything is the way it should be.”

He caught my drift and understood I had little ears listening.

He responded, “Must have a bad connection. You on your phone or laptop?”

I was on the phone and fixed it so that Frankie couldn’t hear what was being said on Charlie’s end. “Is this better?”

“You’ve got that sneaky teacher thing down.”

“Funny.”

“Okay, gonna make it quick and none of us know more than this so don’t bother wasting the breath asking. Derrick got served with papers at the airport when we flew back in. Lena is trying to prevent him from selling the practice and moving to Pembroke. Derrick’s lawyer fixed her little red wagon because the sale already went through. Also fixed it because there is a pre-nup and just like Lena can’t touch the money in the practice, he can’t touch her trust fund. That’s the way it has always been and if there was any question, he gave Lena’s pet shark the name and number of Lena’s parents and their lawyer. To say the lawyer wasn’t aware was obvious … and Lena is playing a dangerous game. Derrick was forced to get an emergency injunction against Lena because she … look Vettie if Lena tries to contact you, just be careful what you say and how you say it and make sure you CYA. She’s all over the board … she’s even threatening her parents now, saying they are turning people against her. She’s temporarily lost custody of the boys and she’s real close to being forced into counseling. And it has also come out that she’s … er … entertaining a guy close to your age. Uh … Vettie, you there?”

“Is this a joke Charlie?”

“No Hon. It isn’t. Derrick thinks this may be a good thing. He and her parents might be able to force her into counseling if they can’t use it as an example of her medically endangering herself; or, being put in medical danger by that so-called doctor she is seeing. You know her ol’ man knows people.”

“Yes. Yes I see what you’re saying.”

“Now tell me the truth, you okay Kiddo?”

I thought about it. “I will be. It is just a lot to process. Will Derrick? And is he still seeing …”

“His doc? Yeah. Lena’s father is starting to play hard ball. You know he has always respected Derrick and considered him a son. And Farley thinks of him as a brother. They just want things to work out between Lena and Derrick and want to blame the hormone therapy she is on for the way she is acting.”

“And you?”

“I’m trying to stay out of it. You know how it is in the family. We try and give each other space and grace for our screw ups. But what Lena is doing is making some of the girls get a little … er … grumpy. My advice is to try and stay out of that part of it. Derrick needs you to be different.”

“The same way Poppa and Momma needed the same since they weren’t up for a lot of adolescent high jinks by the time I came along.”

“You work that out yourself?”

“No. Poppa explained it once.”

“Hmmm. Well … maybe. Just Derrick doesn’t need another female flipping out. Try and not …”

“Be the way I was when I was little? I understand Charlie. Tell the others not to worry about that. I won’t let Derrick, or any of you, down in such a manner.”

Concerned, Charlie said, “Sounds a little rough when you say it like that Vettie. None of us mean it that way.”

“I know. But it is still the same thing. There’s enough drama going on. Just let me know if there is something I can do. Please?”

“Will do Hon. Gotta run. The three stooges are about to drive their mom up a wall.”

“So I hear,” I told him with a smile. “Take care Brat.”

“Will do … and have fun with this. You are only young once.”

It wasn’t long after that that Frankie yawned, and I said it was time for him to go to his cabin and get to bed. Then I decided to sit on the veranda instead of on deck but now I think it is time to put my own self to bed.

 

[Griz3752]

I've seen all kinds of commentary here from people who rave about this so I'm looking forward to reading this work.

Thank you ma'am. .....

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 41: Oct 10 – New York City, NY, USA (Day 2)

I am almost too tired to write about the day. Bit of a todo when our HOHO bus was harrassed by some people protesting the latest round of things they want to protest. There were a few sincere amongst them but you could tell, if you paid close attention, that most of those involved where there to agitate or be seen. Then you have those that are simply on the latest emotional roller coaster ride. It is like they are adrenaline addicts or something. Very uncomfortable … and dangerous … as the group made the mistake of not just causing a traffic snarl, but they caused a traffic accident and two children were injured, one of them quite seriously. It was only at that point that the police got involved. The bus driver got us through and all other HOHO buses were re-routed around the financial district where the contretemps occurred.

Today we saw so much and got on and off the bus so many times that it was a whirlwind, with me constantly looking around to keep an eye on any possible problems. I hear that there were a few other incidences through out the city, but we didn’t see anything else while we were out. Lunch was a hot dog cart, something Frankie found both interesting and hilarious at the same time. The afternoon was more HOHO and then we came back to the ship to grab a bite to eat before our evening activity. Yes, I said evening activity, as in another one. I was already tired; and if I was, it made me a little worried that Frankie would not make it. My concern was unnecessary, but he was definitely dragging by the end.

First thing we did was marvel at the dazzling lights of Broadway and the illuminated icons of the city: the string of pearls strung above the humming roadway of the Brooklyn Bridge; the spectacular art deco, stainless steel–capped Chrysler Building; the soaring Rockefeller Center; the neo-Gothic Woolworth Building; and the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor. It was all familiar from my previous visit but at the same time new as I was now seeing everything through the eyes of an adult … one that had experienced a bit of the unkind side of life. It let me see beyond the shining lights of places such as Broadway to the darker side of the city. It caused me a bit of introspection as we continued across Midtown Manhattan, got off the bus, and ascended the iconic Empire State Building,

The history of the Empire State Building is unique. I watched several documentaries on it and the other architectural symbols of the City before embarking on this job. There was a particularly good one by Ken Burns when he was still writing for PBS’ American Experience. For a long time it stood as New York’s tallest building, amazing given the era it was built in. We had fast-track passes up to the famous Observation Deck on the 86th floor, but we were far from the only people there and it was very crowded. I held tightly to Frankie and wouldn’t let him get too far from me. Perhaps I was over reacting a bit but after the incident in the morning I wasn’t feeling a whole lot of trust in strangers. But I will admit that the view was breathtaking, perhaps more so for seeing it at night with the lights sprinkled through out the skyline like stars.

The last treat of the evening, though it was a lot rougher and seedier than I remember it being last time I was here, was we had free time in Times Square. The hustle and bustle were incredible, even that late in the evening and I understood that it continued into the early hours of the morning. We were accosted a couple of times by street vendors in costume as well as some homeless who would persistently ask for donations and then be rude if you didn’t hand over something. Frankie was wide eyed and innocent. Then I felt him being tugged away and there was almost an incident.

“Nicholas Marchand! If you ever … EVER …!”

“Uh … sorry Miss Vetta. I thought you saw Mr. D. Er … that’s some elbow you have.”

“Oh for … are you all right?”

“Sure. I know how to take an elbow to the gut. Just didn’t expect it off the soccer field.”

“You are lucky it wasn’t an elbow to the head you … you ….”

Vit said darkly, “That was not well-done Nicholas.”

“Yes Sir, that’s why I apologized. Why are they so jumpy?”

Turning to me specutively Vit said, “I would like to know as well.”

Frankie oh so helpfully said, “We saw an accident this morning. Some people hanging all over a bull statute and making a bunch of noise caused a scene and some people got hurt. And then there are some weird people here too.”

Both of them got serious looks on their faces. I told them, “We are unhurt, but this is not the NYC that I remember.”

Vit asked, “You have been here before?”

“Once about twelve years ago. It is still amazing but … much dirtier and more rundown. But then again … so are the people’s attitudes. There is too much anger in the air for my taste.”

Nicholas didn’t look like he knew what I mean but Vit, after looking around pensively gave a brief nod and then looked at his watch. “It is time we returned to our busses. We will accompany you.”

Vit got on my side and Nicholas attached himself to his brother’s side. It was a bit like being bookended but when we heard a commotion of some type start on the other side of the Square, I was not going to complain. It was time to go anyway and they walked us back to our bus before heading towards theirs.

We arrived back at the ship at approximately the same time to find that Madam was not happy. I was concerned at first that it was with us but no. She asked that the boys go get ice cream or something and then had Vit and I follow her to her suite. “I do not normally discuss family business in this manner but under the circumstances I see no help for it.”

She had gotten some bad news from the legal team. The woman had skimmed more money than thought at first. Insurance would cover the loss, however in the meantime it did crimp her plans to add money onto the debit cards she had left in our disposal. She was somewhat surprised, but relieved, to find that we both had more than sufficient balances remaining, but she asked that we be mindful and utilize the resources from the ship as much as possible.

She left and then Miss Hayworth told us, “She is a bit embarrassed. Understandable really. And unconsciousable that the law firm allowed this to go on for as long as it did. They will be reimbursing Madam, but it will take time for the funds to make their way through the system. Your paychecks will be on time as they come from a separate accounting firm, but the petty cash needs to be treated mindfully. And thank you for your understanding.”

Vit asked the question before I could even think it. “Does Madam wish for us to say anything to the brothers?”

“Not at this time.”

We both nodded our understanding, took our dismissal in stride, and then collected our charges. They wondered only briefly what the todo was about but accepted, almost too readily, the explanation that Vit gave about it concerning paperwork. After that the brothers returned to their cabin and we to ours.

Closing the cabin door Vit gave me a serious look and said, “Now, you will tell me better why you were upset.”

I turned to look at Vit and just shook my head. “Frankie said it correctly. It was just the sum total of it all. I had gotten over the morning’s events but then the crowd at the Empire State Building plus the mess in Time Square …” I shrugged. “Too many people. Too much noise. Too much different from the way I remember it being. If I had prepared myself for it then it wouldn’t have bothered me so much.”

“No one in particular was bothering you?”

“No. Not the way you mean. Jacksonville isn’t exactly a small city and it has the typical problems that cities do … but NYC is a place of exaggeration of all of those symptoms.” I flopped down in exasperation. “And that incident this morning … it just brought up … things I thought I’d put to rest. Like how on earth I could have missed seeing the possibilities in Robert. Then it makes me wonder if I am missing the same thing in other people.”

“Yes. Most of the human race is damaged in some way. The difference is how we manage our damage and the unhappiness it causes.”

I agreed and he asked if I minded that he go converse with some of the others on the ship.

“Why should I mind?”

“Do you need … company?”

“Oh … I’m not that kind of upset Vit. Go do what you need to do. I’m fine. Really.”

Lucky for me he accepted my answer. I took a shower and have been filling in the lesson plan and journaling ever since. But I think I am done for the evening. One more day in NYC and then we sail tomorrow at 6 pm.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 42: Oct 11 – New York City, NY, USA (Day 3)

Ah, I am sooo ready for a sea day, and we’ll be getting one tomorrow. I think even the brothers are willing to have a quiet day. This morning’s breakfast was early and then we scurried off the ship for a special treat; an exclusive guided tour through the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Met is the largest museum in the United States and houses cultural artifacts that span more than 5,000 years of human history. We were allowed into the museum before it was open – a rare treat – and we had a docent-escort for the highlights. Afterwards we had free time to explore the museum on our own. After we spent plenty of time looking at exhibits and then a few minutes in the museum shop, we got back on the bus and returned to the ship for lunch.

There were few people on the ship when we came back, most were out taking advantage of their last day in port. We, however, took advantage of what the ship had to offer then went to que for our last excursion in NYC … New York City by air. A half-hour transfer by bus took us from the pier to the heliport, where we stepped on board a helicopter! In Frankie’s words it was like we became birds as we flew above Central Park, the Hudson River, the George Washington Bridge, New York Harbor and the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. Our pilot seeing Frankie’s enthusiasm made sure to get great views of other famous landmarks, including Rockefeller Center and the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, MetLife Building and World Financial Center. I think one of the most memorable of the sites was of the Statue of Liberty as well as the glimpses of Ellis Island, Greenwich Village, South Street Seaport and the Brooklyn Bridge, the iconic feature of countless movies and photographs. There was no game, so we were able to view Yankee Stadium, and with that we viewed Columbia University and Harlem. The landing was much smoother than I expected. Our bus was a few minutes late so I was tempted by – and ultimately purchased – a video of our flight on a thumb drive and I will make a copy of it for Frankie.

After we managed to get back to the ship … we had to detour around another ruckus by some people protesting the protestors being rounded up yesterday … I asked Frankie if he minded us staying on board ship and he said no as he wanted to try and sketch the birds flying around. He even agreed to do it from the veranda which gave me time to get organized after five days in a row in ports. I know that with so limited time in each port we should be maximizing every minute, but sometimes it is either slow down or pay the consequences.

I have failed to include the fact that I have been picking up “snacks” since we’ve been hitting American ports. Every day, and today was no exception, I came back to the ship with a backpack full of new additions to the snack supplies. Some I purchased with my own money as they were items primarily for my own use, and some I purchased with the debit card as they would be for Frankie and possibly Nicholas when and if we had excursions together. I pulled my suitcase from beneath the bed and opened everything and tried to organize it in some containers I purchased for such a task.

I also took the time to organize the postcards into my box in proper order as well as put away the few souvenirs that I had purchased. I am trying to be mindful of the space and the fact that it will be some time before I can send another package out. I sent a second package out yesterday of clothes that were not up to the rigors of travel, and a few other odds and ends of souvenirs that I had purchased. I’m also trying to be mindful of money. As Momma would have said, “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

From there I gave serious consideration to doing some laundry but decided that the task could wait until tomorrow. I did however go over Frankie’s laundry – much to his embarrassment once again – and get it prepared for going to the laundry service.

“You wouldn’t have to be embarrassed if you took the time to do this yourself on a regular basis.”

Frankie seemed arrested by the very idea, as if it had never even occurred to him as a possibility, and I have a feeling that by the end of the cruise he will be much further along in his daily living skills.

I was just about to suggest to Frankie that we order our dinner when Vit walked in. He opened his mouth to speak until he saw Frankie on the veranda and then nodded his head in the direction of the sleeping area.

In Ukrainian I said, “I know that look. What’s up?”

“Did you have problems today?”

“No. Did you?”

“We just barely avoided some this morning. It was weighing on me that you and the boy were out without anyone.”

“We were in a large group this morning at the Met, came back to the ship, and then took a special tour for a helicopter ride and then it was back to the ship. The bus did have to detour around some incident, but we were never close enough to witness it.”

He relaxed, “Ah. Is better than I expected. This city is not going to be a good place to be if such incidences continue to occur.”

“NYC is always a city you need to be cautious in, but it is big enough that something could be happening on one side of town and you’d never even know it on the other side. And New Yorkers are fairly blasé about it all. The coming cold weather will also moderate some of the protesting by the less hardy protestors heading south and out to the West Coast. They always do.”

“That may work against them in the long run. But we are out of here and that is good. Is your Pembroke like this?”

I chuckled at the very idea. “No. Pembroke is a rural farm that is in a rural area by the same name. Poppa and Derrick practiced medicine at the nearest Shands hospital. When I was in high school Poppa moved us to the city for Momma’s sake and Derrick had moved to Jacksonville before Benji was born to be closer to his in-laws so he could open his own specialty practice with his brother-in-law.” I showed him on a map.

“So it is to Florida that we will go.”

“Yes. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear about that.”

“I would accept your invitation regardless of the location, but I must start gathering paperwork and making application for a Visa.”

I could have slapped myself. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

“It makes a difference for you?”

“No,” I said threatening to toss a pillow at him. “But I’m going to ask Dylan if he can do anything on his end.”

“Dylan is the brother in security.”

“I guess Charlie mentioned it.”

“Yes. I will introduce myself to your Dylan Petric.”

So I’ve given Dylan’s professional email to him and let them work it out between the two of them. I gathered from Vit’s momentary stiffness that it has something to do with male pride. Saints preserve me from ever having to mess with that more than I already do. Every one of the men in my life can be stiff-rumped about the oddest things.

Nicholas was rather listless and decided to make an early night of it. Frankie agreed to do the same. I stayed in the cabin to work on lesson plans and update my latest report and Vit decided to go for a run on the promenade deck with a couple of crew members that he is becoming acquainted with. After a while I realized they must have gone from the run to the fitness center or spa. I decided I’d had enough of the cabin and went up to Deck 9 to do some yoga.

I was just into my normal routine of Pilates and yoga when I heard someone say, “Hah! Finally caught you.”

I jumped and looked to see a couple of ladies from the ship as well as a young woman dressed as a member of the crew.

“Er … caught me?” I asked thinking that perhaps the deck was off limits for some reason.

“We’d all heard that there was someone else onboard that practiced regularly. Mind if we join you?”

“Of course not,” I said relaxing with a smile. “I normally work out in the early morning but after five back-to-back port days I was feeling the need.”

“Exactly,” the gregarious woman agreed. “My name is Suzanne. This is Olga and Rebecca and our quiet crew girl there is Anna. She is Finnish.”

“How do you do. Please call me Veta. My charge is Frankie Marchand.”

One of the other women nodded, “Ah, the good boy. It is nice to meet you.”

We arranged ourselves and did a very basic relaxation series. At some point Vit came on deck and sat in one of the chairs. I saw him tilt his head back and put his feet up. After we were finished, I went over and nudged him, “Hey, there are better places for sleeping than in this chair. You are going to get a crick in your neck.”

“I am not sleeping.”

“Sure you aren’t; just reading the inside of your eyelids?”

“Something like that,” he said with a grin.

The other ladies all laughed, and we parted ways. I needed to get back to the cabin to clean up and then decide what to do with the remainder of the night. Vit followed me down to our cabin and once we were inside I told him, “You don’t need to watch me. I was trying to give you some privacy.”

“It is an odd thing about this privacy you are constantly trying to give me. It is a thing I have never had so do not know how to appreciate it. Perhaps you should show me. Care to watch a movie?”

I rolled my eyes. “Have it your way. A movie is fine.”

He didn’t last long and was asleep before the opening scene had finished. I was a little too energized to sleep so decided to complete this journal entry, but we are so far out to sea now there are no shore lights to be seen so it is probably best to get some sleep.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 43: Oct 12 – Cruise the Atlantic Ocean

Discovered Nicholas was feeling home sick, or at least his version of it. He is used to a lot of team interactions and it has been a bit difficult for him to be away from people his age for so long. He’s been a good sport about it by and large but I believe he is coming to the end of that … or at least hitting a bump in the road. Vit, suspecting what the problem may have been all along, is tweaking their excursion activities so that he will have some opportunities to be with younger people, or at least with adults closer to his age. There is also the correspondence with several girls that is making him antsy. He is an 18-year-old male with hormones to match and no outlet for them.

“Thankfully we do not have to deal with that onboard ship,” Vit said with a shudder. “It was bad enough having to put up with that layno with the yacht owner and his guests.”

Knowing that “layno” roughly translated to crap in Ukrainian I understood what he meant. I believe however I was in the mood to poke the bear because I responded, “Hopefully there are no cougars onboard.”

Vit looked nauseous for a moment nearly causing me to giggle before he said, “If there are, they will exercise their … proclivities … elsewhere. Madam turns a blind eye to many things but that, I do not believe, would be one of them.” He gave me a sharp stare when he realized I’d been joking with him and then shook his head before continuing. “I am told we are taking on a few additional passengers in Bermuda. I believe one of the couples has two sons Nicholas’ age though slightly older. We will have to see how this intersects. I will admit it would be a relief to not have to be the sole focus of his social needs.”

“Even if it means you wind up riding herd on three boys and not just one?”

“Nicholas is not really a boy. He is a young man and needs to have the opportunity to behave as such. One of my trainers was fond of saying something to the effect that a man will live up to the lowest expectation you have of him. I believe the same to be true for the brothers. I have noticed that you have expectations of behavior for the boy. He responds accordingly. But Nicholas gets too many mixed signals. The grandmother’s expectations are anachronistic and not altogether healthy. Fraulein Hayworth is an enabler of his grandmother and therefore does what she can to see that Nicholas does as his grandmother wishes. His parents seem to expect nothing from him, and his sister only asks has he done anything to embarrass the family reputation. It is maddening to watch and not be able to do anything about. I continue to think perhaps he would be better off in a boot camp, even if it was just one for sports. He responded well that day in London. I was very pleased with his behavior on the field.”

Seeing his point I nevertheless said, “He needs to be able to function without that type of structure. I’ve seen people that are great athletes but very poorly behaved off the field.”

“And that is the conundrum. Thus, I must use what is at hand. We will have to see how the new passengers fit into the mix. It will not be a chore to add two more … unless they do the opposite of what I seek for Nicholas’ sake.”

The afternoon was surprisingly pleasant. After lunch I did some laundry while Vit had the brothers in the pool practicing for all the water sports they will experience in the Caribbean … and at the same time burning off as much energy as he could arrange. I did my nails and they were finished just in time to take tea in the area of the ship called the Wintergarden. Afterwards Frankie and I walked the promenade and took some pictures then returned to the cabins. I had been surprised by an invitation to join the family for dinner and to bring Frankie of course.

The day had grown progressively warmer until by dinner it was so pleasant that they had the mega dome opened and dinner was al fresco with the fresh ocean breeze swirling gently around the tables and conversational groupings. Frankie was dismissed not too long after dessert and I accompanied him back to the cabin.

“I’m not a baby Miss Veta, I could have walked back on my own.”

“I am well aware of that; however, with you leaving there was no reason for me to stay and I believe we have quite a few pictures we need to try and upload … assuming the connection allows for it.”

What I didn’t tell him was that I suspected the adults wanted to carry on conversations they wouldn’t be able to if he was still there. And as I know politics was likely to get brought into it, I was glad to be out of it as well. Poppa and Derrick were always very conservative despite people being surprised by that because of the work they do … did. Poppa once explained they were conservative because of their work. They saw what liberal policies did to those the least able to resist their pull and manipulation. For me I wish there was some middle ground. I think people should be responsible for themselves and their household … and suffer consequences according to their chosen actions. On the other hand, I think charity should be a bigger part of people’s lives … just not to the point that it enslaves those who need it, nor do I think it should come from the government that has the tendency to misuse funds too often and for things they have no business getting into. It is not that I think there should be “strings” attached to charity, but there should be higher expectations than those that people are living down to. Bah! This is why I stay out of such conversations. It is far too easy to get twisted up into knots.

The WiFi, as expected, was slow but not as bad as it was in Greenland. I don’t think anything could be that bad. It took a while for Frankie to finish his uploading as well as a few assignments that he needed to complete. He moves through math and science concepts and benchmarks so quickly that I don’t have to be nearly as repetitious as I expected. His language and grammar are coming along though he does still tend to write in text-speak too often, but as I understand, even people my own age have the same deficit when they transfer between a tech device and trying to actually write and speak. People have come to depend far too much on memes and emoticons to express ideas. It gets ridiculous trying to decipher what some of my nieces and nephews mean in their emails. If they can type in chat speak then they should be able to type in English.

Vit came in a bit ago to remind me that we will not be arriving in Bermuda until 5 pm and to tell me that Suzanne and the others said they would be on Deck 9 early in the morning if I wanted to join them.

I sighed.

“You do not wish to?”

I shrugged. “I’ve just gotten used to not having to be ‘on’ and in company at that time of day.”

“Ah. Just be yourself Veta, they will love you.”

I smiled and then chuckled. “Now you definitely sound like Poppa. It is not that I need their approval or fear their disapproval. I have just grown strange and prefer it to be us and the brothers.”

“You think that strange? Unpleasant?”

“No. Not at all. It is simply that I used to be the type of person that wearied of my own company very quickly. Worse, I got attached just as quickly to people and did not always understand when they were not as equally attached to me … worried at it even, always making the fault mine. Now … I don’t know. I am … different. I hope I am not smothering you. You should say so if I am.”

He shook his head. “No. It is … nearly strange that you desire to spend time with me without the brothers in tow. I have never had such. Even Anichka did not desire to be alone with me.”

“Er … not to take this down inappropriate roads but what of your … um … dancer?”

He snorted. “I found out she was not ever solely my dancer. When I was in port, we had a good time. When I was not in port, she continued to have a good time. The other men supposedly knew the score, I was the only blind fool.”

“Ew.”

“Ew?” He asked, confused at my tone.

“Vit, I puked for two days at the idea that Robert was with me at the same time he was with another woman. I simply cannot comprehend doing that on purpose with multiple men.”

“He injured you.”

“You mean was he abusive? No. Though the last two or three weeks we were in a relationship we argued extensively. The other woman was really pressuring him to … choose between us. The stress carried over and … he had unreasonable expectations. Had I known I would have forced him to choose as well. Thank god for my pride that he and I never … uh …” I stopped when I realized what I’d almost blurted.

When he waited for me to finish all I could do was blush and look away. It took him a moment but then he said, “Ah. Hmmm. Your brother would not have approved.”

Turning back I told him, “Vit, I love Derrick … all of my brothers and sisters … but that is one thing they could not have dictated. I thought it was a mutual decision between Robert and I as neither of us were ready for children and know … well it is foolish to believe anything except abstinence is 100% effective. I never wanted a replay of my own beginnings or of some of my siblings’ own backgrounds. If nothing else a large and varied family gives you insight into those types of challenges. And I should watch my mouth. I did not mean to take the conversation down this path.”

He shrugged. “Do not be embarrassed. I am not. We both made our choices based on the knowledge we had at the time. And we changed our paths when we got additional knowledge. Be happy that there are experiences you do not have the memories of to live with. There are paths that it is good not to go down. But … may I ask?”

I shrugged. In for a penny, in for a pound.

“You do not look.”

“Huh?”

“Most women … unattached women your age … always seem to be looking, weighing their options.”

I have an embarrassed chuckle. “Oh. Um. I … before I took this job it hadn’t been long enough, part of me was still grieving what I had thought I’d had with Robert, even if I was merely grieving the loss of an illusion. Since then … I came to the conclusion that it is a waste of my time.”

“You do not wish for what you had before again?”

Trying to find the right words took me a moment. “It isn’t that. One day I hope to. But given the length of this job and the shortness spent in any place … plus I have Frankie to think of first … um … looking isn’t the brightest idea for me. I’m not casual. I don’t think I even know how to do casual, even with friends. And since I have no desire to be hurt, or be the one doing the hurting, I haven’t even bothered looking or whatever you want to call it.”

He thought about what I said and then nodded. “I would say it a different way but I feel much the same. So, if you see me in the company of a female, it is not because I am looking … nor am I being casual. I am no longer a boy who finds enjoyment in such waste of time. In some instances, you may even rescue me if you are willing to take pity on me.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. It was preposterously arrogant, but somehow a perfect suit to his personality to say something that outrageous. At the same time quite funny to think of him needing me to rescue him from some female or other.

I believe I will go do morning exercise with Suzanne and the other women. I think I am in danger of becoming too insular. I do not wish to give people the wrong idea. And I need to continue to practice not being as painfully shy as I was as a child. And with that decision made I believe I should get some sleep. I can’t wait to wake up to warmer weather.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 44: Oct 13 – Bermuda (Hamilton), UK (Day 1)

We are docked in the heart of the city of Hamilton, the capital of the British Territory of Bermuda. Even though it was five o’clock when we tied off Frankie and I still had an excursion. Other people spent their time exploring independently.

It was quite exciting. We descended into the cool, glittering world of Crystal Cave, part of Bermuda’s subterranean world. The magnificent limestone carved Crystal Caves are the island’s biggest and at a depth of 120 feet are a marvel. They were discovered in 1907 and the cave system encompasses formations of geological formations such as stalactites, stalagmites and crystal-clear underground lakes. Stunning Cahow Lake, viewed from a pontoon bridge, has a depth of 55 feet. If you peer down through the clear waters, you can see stalagmites rising from the cave floor. Far below the waters and under the boardwalk, there is a spectacular amphitheater that was discovered by divers in 2011. Waiting our turn to go down we explored the beautifully manicured gardens and browsed the gift shop. I am glad we did as it was growing dark by the time our turn in the caves was over. Returning to port, we passed through the affluent district of Tucker’s Town overlooking Castle Harbor where there was just a couple of minutes for a photo stop at one of the island’s famous pink sand beaches.

We made a quick stop to give people time to “shop” and what do I find? But the famous rum cakes of Bermuda. My mother’s rum cake is based on a similar recipe but the one she made – and which Angelia still makes for special occasions – is plain. These rum cakes were flavored including key lime, loquat, banana, ginger, and chocolate in additional to the original. I also threw the budget out the window and purchased some goombey pepper jam and Gosling’s Black Seal rum, produced in the islands since the early 1800s.

I hope I am not teaching bad habits to Frankie but there were several signs about not removing sand from the beaches. In one shoe I already had a sample of sand from the underground caves, and it wasn’t even on purpose. In the other shoe I accidentally-on-purpose got a sample of sand from the pink sand beach. By the time I got back to the ship it was very irritating. I went straight to our cabin.

“Frankie, hand me the water glass please. No, don’t put water in it.”

When he realized what I’d done as I poured the sand from the pink sand beach out of my shoe into the glass he started laughing and said, “Miss Veta!”

“Yes, yes. I know. But this is for scientific research. It isn’t like I’m going to sell it to the highest bidder on eBay. It is strictly for educational purposes.”

I then put the collected sand into little zip baggies for collecting specimens in and labeled each one with the location they were from and the date. The two baggies were added to the others that we’d been collecting along the way.

Frankie was getting hungry and was supposed to go grab a bite with Nicholas, so I watched him walk down to his cabin and enter it. I turned to decide whether I wanted to order room service or get a quick plate from the buffet when there was a knock on the cabin door.

“Frankie?”

“Nickie has visitors and already ate.”

I was going to go see what was going on, but Frankie grabbed my hand and said, “Please don’t. I … kinda figured you know.”

“Figured what?”

“When I heard there was going to be guys his age on the ship. I just kinda figured.”

“Are you sure he’d already gone to dinner?”

“Yeah. I asked him if he was going and he said he’d already gone. Can I stay here? At least until they leave?”

Understanding I said, “Yes you may. Thank you for explaining it to me. It is a shame that Nicholas was not as courteous. That’s strike one.”

“Huh?”

“People can make a few mistakes in life, especially when they get excited about something. But they still have an obligation to be … courteous. And apologize when they make the mistake. Thoughtlessness is not a characteristic to be encouraged. So, what shall it be? Buffet or room service?”

He shrugged and I knew he was more hurt than he was trying to show.

“Tell you what, let’s do room service. I’ll ask for extra meatballs on your pasta. Then we can choose either a promenade to help our dinner settle or we can …”

Vit walked in and stopped, sensing something was going on. I asked, “Have you had dinner yet? Would you like to eat with us or do you have plans?”

“Some of us were going to watch a sports game in the bar. If you need …”

“No. I just offered.”

He watched Frankie use the touch screen to order room service for both of us, he knew that I had mentioned a salad, and then quietly asked, “Was he not to dine with his brother?”

“Apparently Nicholas has already dined with his new companions.”

Vit’s brows came down forbiddingly. “I will say something.”

“Let’s see how it plays out. It is a fact that Nicholas needs companionship closer to his age. I … am not happy … that he dropped his little brother quite so quickly however.”

“Nor am I. I will give him to morning to realize his error. If he does not …” he said trailing off and I know I do not want to be in on that particular conversation if it has to be had.

I eventually was able to distract Frankie though he fell asleep in “his” chair during the documentary he was watching. I waited as long as I thought appropriate then woke him up and walked him down to his cabin. I had just gotten him settled for the night when Nicholas and two other young men came walking down the hall. They weren’t cutting up exactly but were on the verge of it.

The three turned to go into the cabin and I looked at Nicholas. He wilted, “Frankie is in there already?”

“It is approaching eleven so yes, your brother has had the good sense to get in bed and go to sleep. We have a full day tomorrow before the boat embarks at 6 pm. Don’t you have an early excursion with Mr. Vit as well?”

That’s when a memory slowly dawned on his face. “Oh man,” he whispered.

“Dude, is Mr. Vit the Russian?”

I turned to him and said, “Ukrainian.” Then I asked in Ukrainian, “Do you speak Russian?”

The other young man said, “Who are you?”

I turned to Nicholas and waited and he finally remembered his manners and introduced us. “Nicholas, a word please?”

We took a few steps away and quietly and calmly I said, “I realize you are happy to have people your age to fraternize with. That is not a problem. And I do not wish to embarrass you. Just please remember Frankie is nine and has an early morning … and shouldn’t be exposed to things that are not age appropriate. Like some of the language I heard being used.”

“Got it,” he replied. A tad rudely in my opinion but at least his general attitude wasn’t intently rude. “Um … I guess Frankie was upset.”

I considered asking him what he thought but instead said, “In his own words he said that he figured when you found new friends you wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore. But he did not pout or behave in any juvenile fashion despite a broken promise. For my part, as his protector, I am asking that you not make any more to him if you do not intend to keep them. It was in very poor taste.”

He almost looked like I had slapped him. Then I added, “Do not forget that you too have an early morning. Good night.” I turned to the two young men who went from snickering to a little shocked themselves when I gave them a once over and obviously didn’t find much to admire. I then turned back to Nicholas whispered, “Unless you want to get the steward involved I suggest you refrain from drinking in their cabin. This isn’t a sleazy frat house. You’ll lose some of that vaunted freedom you are currently enjoying.”

“Are you going to say something to Mr. Vit?”

“Mr. Vit is already aware. But about the drinking those two have obviously already done? No. I am not their parent … nor am I yours. I am however here to look after Frankie. I believe he has helped you through quite enough ‘stomach upsets’ and do not wish to see him become your nursemaid for life. He has better things to do.”

At that I turned and went back to my cabin. I’m still debating whether I should have said what I did but I am ridiculously offended for some reason by his behavior. I don’t know if it is on Frankie’s behalf, Vit’s, or even my own. That said, Frankie and I do have an early morning and if others wish to stay up all night that is their prerogative. It is not mine.

 

[Kathy in FL]

World Cruise Day 45: Oct 14 – Bermuda (Hamilton), UK (Day 2)

The weather today has been simply glorious! High in the low 80s, it didn’t drop below 72 degrees, and the humidity was only in the 70th percentile as well. My oh my!

Some of the passengers were complaining that it was hot. I laughed at the very thought, but I did break a sweat during the early morning workout. I am back in form running five miles under thirty-five minutes. Or should I say that I can do it, but I am still breathing heavily at the end. I need to increase my performance that is for certain. My next goal is to set a reasonable incline and pick it up another notch in speed. Then I did some core strength training as Vit did his best to shame Nicholas into a better performance than he was giving. That quickly devolved into more, and I was sorry to see it.

“What is your problem this morning?” Vit asked angrily.

“I’m tired.”

“So? Would your coach accept that?”

In grumpy carelessness Nicholas responded, “You are not my coach.”

“No. And be glad of it. I would bench you from the game. And I am about to bench you from the game of life. Let’s go.”

“Huh?”

“We are paying your grandmother a morning call.”

“Wait. Why?”

“Your attitude. Since it appears that you refuse to allow me to do my job, she can hire someone else … or better yet, send you to your parents. They have an obligation to …”

“No! Dude … I just said I was tired.”

Then Vit jerked him up and got in his face. “You will not address me as Dude. In fact I am close to making it so that you do not have a need to address me at all. You failed at least two other men who were only there to help you ready yourself for this life. This attitude …”

“No! Seriously! Mr. D … you’re … I don’t know … taking this too far.”

“I told you last evening of the schedule for today. You blew me off. You broke a promise to your little brother. You blew that off. You were rude to Fraulein Hayworth. You blew that off. Tell me, why should we not blow you off?”

After a brief internal struggle Nicholas started backing down. “I get it … I … I get it. I just wanted a day off. Lucas and Grant are going to …”

“Luc-as and Grant Harrington are having their wings clipped. Their parents discovered their behavior late last evening as several complaints were made against them by other passengers. Had you been with them … let us just say that Madam made certain threats that you do not want her to follow through on.”

“But the legal drinking age in Bermuda is 18!”

Brutally Vit told him, “There is no legal age for being a jackass. They behaved in an inappropriate manner with some of the ship’s crew as well. It doesn’t matter why they were acting as they were, it is the fact that they did act as they did. Two drunken fools. They have been confined to quarters until it is decided what to do with them.”

“Their parents will …”

“They are nineteen and twenty years of age. They are adults. They will have to take whatever consequences come their way. That is the flip side of being an adult … something that you should be thinking long and hard on.”

Surprised he asked, “They really got confined to quarters?”

“Is that not what I just said?” Vit asked in irritation. “Do you wish to follow the example they are currently setting?”

“No,’ he answered thoughtfully as he finally started doing the leg reps that the trainer recommended.

I quietly left the spa and returned to the cabin to dress and wake Frankie. However, Frankie was waiting outside the door as had been his habit at the beginning of the cruise.

“Well hello there,” I told him pleased and surprised that he had a good face on. “Give me a moment to clean up and then we’ll get some breakfast.”

Frankie was in a better frame of mind during breakfast and though I refrained from commenting on it he realized that I had noticed. “Like I said, I just figured. Better just to accept it and get on with things. At least that’s what that doctor they made me see said. You don’t have to worry I’m going to get angry and act out and do pranks and stuff.”

That sounded like more of what someone had told him, but I surprised him by saying, “It never even entered my mind. You are more mature than that.”

He gave that a think and sat straighter in his chair. After we finished eating, we hurried to get our backpacks for the day. I was coming to pick Frankie up when I heard, “It’s okay. I knew when you found some real friends you wouldn’t want me around anymore.”

“Hey that’s not …”

“Just try and not get in trouble so much. You are a grown up now, like Francine, and it won’t just be grandmother than can dish the consequences. Gotta go!”

The cabin door opened and I tried to look like I had just arrived. “Ready for the day’s adventure?”

He smiled and held up his backpack and we were off. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a confused look on Nicholas’ face, like something had not gone as planned only he couldn’t figure out how.

For the morning we boarded a bus and drove to the historic town of St. George, the New World’s longest continuously inhabited English settlement. The town was established in 1612 as Bermuda’s capital. As the island’s population expanded, Governor Henry Hamilton championed moving the political capital to a central location. And so the town that bears his name was born. Today, St. George is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. We strolled the cobblestone lanes past brightly painted colonial-era buildings, pausing at St. Peter’s Church, the oldest Anglican church in the Western Hemisphere. We saw the old State House, home of Bermuda’s parliament from 1620 until 1815. Then we visited the Bermuda Perfumery, which has been creating scents for ladies and gentlemen since 1928, when its founders brought French perfume makers here. Today, it is home to the famous Lili Bermuda fragrance. I will admit that I bought a small bottle of a lemony scented perfume.

Frankie surprised me by buying two little bottles as well, one for Madam and one for “Miss Betty,” to save as Christmas gifts. When I asked why he said, “It smells like them.” And surprisingly I agreed with his choices. Madame’s was a spicey floral and Miss Hayworth’s had a linen scent.

Mindful of the request to be careful of our expenditures, Frankie and I returned to the ship for lunch. Frankie is pretty good about eating “rabbit food” and a large salad is what we both ate since I intended on snacking on local items throughout the day if it was available. That option also suited the weather more than some of the seafood that was in the buffet. I noted the two sullen young men eating with a couple of older adults that appeared to be their parents. The mother looked and acted whispy and ineffectual, but their father was another type altogether. He had them boxed into the corner and they never moved from their seats the entire time. There was an angry silence coming off the man that was uncomfortable from across the room. I can’t imagine what it was like sitting at the same table. I saw several people watching the family from the corner of their eyes, many glances were unfriendly or scornful.

For the second half of the day we used a local bus pass to get around and explore on our own. We were on and off the busses for the rest of our time there. We admired the architecture of the island’s numerous churches, from early 16th-century Gothic to simple wooden structures and modern marvels. There were several parks, nature reserves and gardens which we enjoyed taking a leisurely stroll in. All over the island we found historic buildings, monuments and various museums that showcase its 400-year-old history. We even went in a couple. We saw some of the old lighthouses that dot the shore and we also went back to one of the pink sand beaches to see it better in full light. The locals were all very friendly and told us how their island had been repaired from the hurricanes they’d suffered through the last few active seasons. Frankie got lessons on economics, culture, geography, and history straight from the mouths of those living it. Tonight, he wrote a report on Bermuda to go with the pictures he posted on Traveling Marchand. I found it interesting to read what he considered important.

We arrived back to the ship at the same time as Vit and Nicholas and I was happy to see that Vit appeared more relaxed than he had this morning. Nicholas was quite red. I took out the tube of aloe that I had purchased at a local market for tourists and handed it to Vit.

He said, “The sunscreen he used was insufficient and not waterproof. I have rectified that.”

Nicholas said, “I don’t get it. I never burn like this.”

“You normally play sports at a different latitude. The sun is fierce here. And if you were around water there was the magnifying effect of the reflection.”

“But Mr. D didn’t burn.”

“Mr. D has spent years at sea, plus he doubtless reapplied sunscreen more regularly than you did. Correct?” His shrug told me all I needed to know.

Vit said, “We are dining with Madam and some guests in one of the private dining rooms.”

“We’re going to get room service, so we can utilize the wifi before it gets slow again. Next two days are sea days so I’m not sure what the connection speed is going to be.”

Nicholas said, “Hey Squirt I hear they are going to have a new movie in the theater. Maybe we can go together.”

Frankie surprised us by saying, “Nah. Your friends aren’t going to want me around. They never do. You always have to find a way to ditch me.”

He then turned and started walking down the pier to go on the gangway. I hurried to catch up but not before seeing the stunned look on Nicholas’ face.

“Frankie,” I asked quietly. “Was that nice?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t not nice. Besides, it’s the truth. The cruise is too long to find it fun to be ditched all the time like I’m just a baby, and that’s what will happen. That’s always what happens when Nickie has friends. Francine does the same thing. At least I don’t have to be alone this time. Um … unless you need to do girl stuff.”

I chuckled, “I take care of my ‘girl stuff’ when you aren’t around. Let’s go clean up and get that food ordered. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” He grinned hugely, and we walked a bit faster.

The evening went as planned until after Frankie returned to his cabin for the evening. I came back to the cabin to find Vit easing his shirt off.

“Uh oh, Mr. D did get a bit fried.”

“Yes he did,” he said, sighing with relief when the shirt came off.

I will admit that Vit is a fine example of the male of our species but then again so are my brothers. And like my brothers he knows it so I didn’t feed his ego by mentioning it. I did ask, “Did Nicholas behave?”

“Yes. So much so even his grandmother remarked upon it asking him if he felt all right. It also came up in conversation that he wondered if Frankie should be spending so much time alone, that he’d be willing to take him to the movies and things like that.”

“Oh he did did he?”

“You do not think he is sincere?”

I thought about it. “Perhaps some. But after seeing how easily he was lured to forget about Frankie I am honestly not sure how far to trust his brotherly concern.”

“Agreed. Either way Madam said that Frankie was free to go about on Sea Days but that most dinners would not be age appropriate and he would doubtless be more comfortable with his tutor completing his school assignments. I found it hard to believe but some passengers were still unaware that there was a nine-year-old boy onboard. If they knew someone younger was on board they thought him older. They then complimented Madam on how well he behaved … as if you and Frankie had no say in the matter.”

I shrugged. “That’s the way it normally goes. Not that parents don’t have something to do with it … a big something … but after a while the child still needs to choose for himself and then positively reinforced.”

“Agreed. I believe that Nicholas kept waiting for his behavior to be complimented. At the end of the evening I had to explain that as an adult he is expected to make good choices without prodding or bribery or compliments. For some reason that explanation had escaped him. Perhaps he is more immature than I thought.”

“Possibly. Or possibly he has been allowed to run amok for so long that he hasn’t been taught how to think logically. He is intelligent, there is no doubt, but he does not always act like he has much commonsense. Some people think adulthood is about privileges when in reality it is about responsibilities. A few of my friends from college took a while to accept that and as a result some didn’t want to grow up in a timely fashion. Why did they have to when their families made it so easy for them not to?” At the strange look on his face I chuckled. “I know Vit. For some of us it is a foreign concept, but I promise that is the way many think. It was one of the things that Robert and I had started to argue about. Our roads were beginning to diverge and for some strange reason he expected that when we married I would of course work and support us both so that he could continue in his higher educational pursuits.”

With an odd tone in his voice he asked, “And you would have done this thing?”

“No. I told him that we would marry when we both had jobs … and no ‘marriage benefits’ before that time regardless of what he thought was his due as my fiancé. It did not go down too well for him to find out his plans were not the same as our plans or my plans. His brother overheard one of our arguments and interjected that perhaps I would find someone else in the meantime since Robert was taking so long to get it together. Robert really flew off the handle at him. In hindsight I realized it is because he already had found someone else but still felt guilty about it … or at least a small part of him did at that time; afterwards I am less certain how guilty he really felt.” I shook my head. “On some days I blame the woman for his choices, for tempting him beyond his capacity to resist. On other days I know that had Robert been the man I thought he was she could not have tempted him at all. Perhaps that is the same crossroad that Nicholas is finding himself at.”

“It doesn’t matter. We can philosophize it into nauseum, but the reality is that he is now an adult and must start behaving as one. Time is not something any person can control. Weakness is not something one should accept in these matters. He is a man, he must act like one whether he wants the responsibilities or not. Such is life.”

Vit’s harsh upbringing undoubtedly has influenced his opinions but so too has his life experience. He has every right to feel as he does, not to mention he speaks as one who is that gender. I would likely be as harsh if my charge was female. There is simply a point in life where we must grow up and behave responsibly regardless of how boring we might consider it. I understand the other side though as well because I struggled to step out and take the necessary separation from what I found safe. In hindsight it might have been better had Momma and Poppa done something sooner instead of leaving it up to Derrick to “pitch me out of the nest for my own good.” But me being “young for my age” suited them and their needs. Ugh. Too much drama. I experienced enough of my own to find living vicariously through the drama of others the least bit appealing.

Vit was more uncomfortable than he would admit, even after a shower. I eventually offered to put aloe on his back and though we were both mildly embarrassed by it, it finally took the sting out of his sunburn and he fell asleep. My embarrassment was not so easy to put aside … but it was more that Vit has turned into someone that I could like … as in admire … as in I wouldn’t mind if he thought about me in a less than sisterly fashion. But we are in a peculiar situation and we’ve found a way to muddle through without putting our honor at risk. Ugh once again. Perhaps I need to add some meditation to my evening routine. The last thing I need now is to start going off the deep end wanting things I cannot have.