PLAY Thanksgiving gone wrong

cyberiot

Workin' the plan.
I don't think I've ever participated in a Thanksgiving where something, somewhere didn't go awry. You know what I mean--the year you dropped the cooked turkey in the sink, or the year the mashed potatoes came out like potato soup. Uncle Lewis passing out drunk on the couch doesn't count, 'cuz he always did that.

Cyberiot's Holiday Misadventure, 2021 Edition: Just finished making the cranberry sauce, and went to put it on the back porch to cool. A bit slopped over the side of the bowl. Spent a decent chunk of time cleaning cranberry sauce out of the spokes of my bicycle. Not my finest screw-up by a long shot--I think I'm losing my touch.

Tell us what's gone wrong at your house.

And God bless us, every one!

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Luddite

Veteran Member
First year DW and I were dating:
We met at her Mother's early to help prepare for a big meal.
DW, (then girlfriend) complained she wasn't feeling well and excused herself.

Long-story short, she inflicted about 90% of us with a stomach virus. It hit 3 of her cousins just as they got on an airplane to fly home. :)

We called her "typhoid Mary " for years after that.

This story seemed funnier pre-covid. Now, not so much.
 

FireDance

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Escaped hamster under the oven. Turn oven on and you could hear it desperately attempting to escape.

I can’t remember what we did - I do know we couldn’t pull oven out because of the way it had been inserted and couldn’t get to it pulling out the bottom drawer.

Probably THE YEAR OF NO DRESSING!!! The worst thing. I don’t care about anything but my dressing on Thanksgiving.
 

Meemur

Voice on the Prairie
I was really tired one year, plus fighting off the flu. I attempted to cook a small turkey breast in the microwave. This was back in the days when the higher-end microwaves had temperature probes, probably around 1986 or so.

What a disaster! The turkey breast was about half cooked. I put it in the oven in an attempt to finish it, but that totally dried out the cooked side.

As I recall, Kroger was open for a few hours and my boyfriend dashed down there and got us two steaks which he grilled outside on the upper deck and ended up burning a small hole between two of the boards. Fortunately, nothing caught on fire.

That was the worst one in terms of cooking disasters. Other years I / we had to go bail out relatives who were stranded at the side of the road when their junker cars died, hung out in the hospital with dying friends/relatives, and I was once stuck in Chicago Midway trying to get back to Ohio during a storm. I did get a turkey sandwich, as I recall.
 

anna43

Veteran Member
How about this Thanksgiving where everyone except for one has called to cancel. All have valid reasons but I had to change my menu at the last minute because I wasn't about to cook a huge ham for two people. On the other hand two people to cook for is a lot less stress and a LOT less dirty dishes! Don't know why the computer has started underlining certain words so hope they don't post as underlined.
 

Just Plain Mom

Veteran Member
Um...I sure hope it's not this Thanksgiving!

I decided on a Butterball turkey roast, since it was to be just Husband and me. (Normally, he'd ask for enchiladas, but this year I not only get to have turkey, he's taking me to the local Christmas parade on Saturday!!) Then our neighbors invited us, so I am taking turkey and pie.

I put the roast in the refrigerator to thaw on Monday night. It's only three pounds, but it does say 2-3 days to thaw. I just put the pie in the oven and pulled out the turkey. Now, I understand this is just a roast, but it feels like it's pure liquid wrapped in plastic. Husband says to leave it in the refrigerator until I'm ready to put it in (after the pie comes out) and doesn't seem to realize I am very nervous about this. If it were just for us...I'd pull out a couple of pieces of chicken and thaw them just in case. But this is to take. So there. That's my potential nightmare for today.
 

Marseydoats

Veteran Member
This morning, so far, have gotten shampoo in my eye, cut my hand, and the puppy threw up all over the kitchen... And my idiot neighbors put their tree stand up right on the property line when they have another 250 acres they can use --- so they've been shooting off and on since daybreak.
Years past, my Dad was being a complete jerk, and my Aunt slapped him so hard that she nearly knocked him out of his chair.
And one year my grandmother ate the dog biscuits that she was supposed to give to the dog.
I miss family dinners. :)
 

Hermantribe

Veteran Member
We went last week to South Dakota to visit my daughter. My 82 yr old mom INSISTED on driving to Sioux Falls from Muskogee, OK. I offered to fly to Tulsa, pick her up and fly to SD. She was the only one who cared about an actual Thanksgiving dinner, so my daughter planned it for late in the day last Thursday, since Mom was due to arrive around 2 pm. Of course, Mom got lost- she blamed traffic detours but ended up somewhere in Iowa along Highway 29. Good thing the turkey had not gone in the oven yet- we had to drive 2 hours and meet her, then I drove her the rest of the way. No dinner that day! Just a Subway sandwich.
She drove back home Sunday, with a new Iphone she can barely use, location turned on so my daughter and I can tell where she was, as well as written directions. No word all day--- we called and called. You know how people say someone ended up in a ditch? After driving 16 hours for a 9 hour drive- she did. Yup, drove off the road at midnight 35 miles past her exit and ended up in a ditch. Backing out, she broke the car's axle. A very nice OHP officer kept her company and called the tow truck. Truck driver took her and her car home and she finally made it home just about 24 hours after she left. That's the LAST time that will happen!
 

Just Plain Mom

Veteran Member
Well now...I opened the turkey roast and it's in the oven. It is maybe the size of my forearm, if I squint. It says 3 lbs. I think that weight was frozen, with all of the juices. I hope it's enough for the four of us.

I was remembering the Schwann's turkey roast I used to buy. That fed the five of us, including two ravenous teenage boys. *sigh*
 

h_oder

Veteran Member
well, so far, the dough isn't proofing like I think it should...so giving it an extra 20 minutes or so while the oven preheats (it's nearby - hoping the extra warmth helps). We spatchcocked the turkey for the first time - my idea, so hopefully the bird turns out nicely. Other than that, pretty blessed and grateful here today.
 

Seeker22

Veteran Member
After reading these stories, mine isn't even worth mentioning!

I'm thankful.
Oh, fess up. The laughs I've gotten out of this thread have made my day. I wouldn't mind a few more. And the oopsies are just life happening while the Foobar Fairies nudge here and there.

My Mom worked two years on a fine lace tablecloth. Put it on the table fresh off the Crochet hook for Thanksgiving. Her dad (my Grandfather) spilled coffee on it and as I remember, burned a hole in it with a cigarette. She had a fit. I still have that thing. One day, I will try to fix it. I miss them both.
 

bracketquant

Senior Member
I don't think I've ever participated in a Thanksgiving where something, somewhere didn't go awry. You know what I mean--the year you dropped the cooked turkey in the sink, or the year the mashed potatoes came out like potato soup. Uncle Lewis passing out drunk on the couch doesn't count, 'cuz he always did that.

Cyberiot's Holiday Misadventure, 2021 Edition: Just finished making the cranberry sauce, and went to put it on the back porch to cool. A bit slopped over the side of the bowl. Spent a decent chunk of time cleaning cranberry sauce out of the spokes of my bicycle. Not my finest screw-up by a long shot--I think I'm losing my touch.

Tell us what's gone wrong at your house.

And God bless us, every one!

View attachment 304247
Stay way from a turkey fryer.
 

tiredude

Veteran Member
Um...I sure hope it's not this Thanksgiving!

I decided on a Butterball turkey roast, since it was to be just Husband and me. (Normally, he'd ask for enchiladas, but this year I not only get to have turkey, he's taking me to the local Christmas parade on Saturday!!) Then our neighbors invited us, so I am taking turkey and pie.

I put the roast in the refrigerator to thaw on Monday night. It's only three pounds, but it does say 2-3 days to thaw. I just put the pie in the oven and pulled out the turkey. Now, I understand this is just a roast, but it feels like it's pure liquid wrapped in plastic. Husband says to leave it in the refrigerator until I'm ready to put it in (after the pie comes out) and doesn't seem to realize I am very nervous about this. If it were just for us...I'd pull out a couple of pieces of chicken and thaw them just in case. But this is to take. So there. That's my potential nightmare for today.
you will be okay.....those roasts have a 'thing' around them you have to cut off.....dont burn yourself.....but they arent bad.....use the gravy.....

eta: my dressing looks like it needs 4 more hours to finish..... We eat at relatives in 1 hour.........
 

Just Plain Mom

Veteran Member
you will be okay.....those roasts have a 'thing' around them you have to cut off.....dont burn yourself.....but they arent bad.....use the gravy.....

eta: my dressing looks like it needs 4 more hours to finish..... We eat at relatives in 1 hour.........
Thank you, tiredude. If it were just for us, I'd not worry. But to take it somewhere?? And yes, I will be making gravy.

I hope your dressing works. I usually put mine in for a half an hour, but your recipe may vary. Good luck!
 

bev

Has No Life - Lives on TB
We went last week to South Dakota to visit my daughter. My 82 yr old mom INSISTED on driving to Sioux Falls from Muskogee, OK. I offered to fly to Tulsa, pick her up and fly to SD. She was the only one who cared about an actual Thanksgiving dinner, so my daughter planned it for late in the day last Thursday, since Mom was due to arrive around 2 pm. Of course, Mom got lost- she blamed traffic detours but ended up somewhere in Iowa along Highway 29. Good thing the turkey had not gone in the oven yet- we had to drive 2 hours and meet her, then I drove her the rest of the way. No dinner that day! Just a Subway sandwich.
She drove back home Sunday, with a new Iphone she can barely use, location turned on so my daughter and I can tell where she was, as well as written directions. No word all day--- we called and called. You know how people say someone ended up in a ditch? After driving 16 hours for a 9 hour drive- she did. Yup, drove off the road at midnight 35 miles past her exit and ended up in a ditch. Backing out, she broke the car's axle. A very nice OHP officer kept her company and called the tow truck. Truck driver took her and her car home and she finally made it home just about 24 hours after she left. That's the LAST time that will happen!
And who’s going to be the lucky one who gets to take away her car keys and tell her that her driving days are over?:shk:
 

dioptase

Senior Member
One year, decades ago, when I was still in college (grad school), my then boyfriend (now DH) and I decided to cook a full Thanksgiving meal in my small studio apartment. Something (or maybe multiple things, including starting too late) went wrong somewhere (I don't recall for sure but maybe the turkey was rotten and he had to go get another one from the store (or maybe that was another year the rotten turkey happened?)), but eventually dinner finally got done (somehow) and we ate it... around 10 pm at night.

Another year, we had to put my favorite dog (a Dalmatian mix who I still think of as "the dog of my heart", although our current dog runs a very close second) to sleep, just before Thanksgiving. We made her an early Thanksgiving meal; Thanksgiving that year was sad (even though we still had one dog left). I was expecting Thanksgiving to be sad this year too, as our current dog is slowly dying from kidney disease, but he's still with us so I guess that is something to be thankful for.

(No culinary disasters expected for *today*. We just returned from a "pre-Thanksgiving" trip out of state to DD's, but no turkey there (she hates it; instead there were exquisite lamb chops and duck breast with a blackberry sauce, plus the usual T-Day fixings). We are going out to dinner tonight for a more traditional turkey dinner, but DH also picked up some turkey and fixings to substitute for "leftovers" tomorrow or Saturday.)
 

nehimama

Veteran Member
I was about six or seven. Lots of relatives and guests at the table. Mom was at the counter, cutting the pies, and had each of us bring our plate to her for a slice. I got a slice of cherry pie, and was quite excited about that. Plate in hand, I spun around, saying, "Wheee! Cherry pie!" The cherry pie slice ended up on the wall.
 

nchomemaker

Veteran Member
Two years ago, I looked in the fridge to get the turkey out to cook it. It was gone, I was very bewildered to say the least and not amused. So come to find out, my son had it out on a bbq grill smoking it. I had to trust that we wouldn't all die of food poisoning. He has been a cook in fine dining restaurants so I knew that he knew about keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold, yet I was worried. It turned out good though thank God. It had a nice smoked flavor. My patience was tried that day, because that is only half the story.
 

FireDance

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Two years ago, I looked in the fridge to get the turkey out to cook it. It was gone, I was very bewildered to say the least and not amused. So come to find out, my son had it out on a bbq grill smoking it. I had to trust that we wouldn't all die of food poisoning. He has been a cook in fine dining restaurants so I knew that he knew about keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold, yet I was worried. It turned out good though thank God. It had a nice smoked flavor. My patience was tried that day, because that is only half the story.
Wow. I was just telling about my grandmother putting her Turkey in a 250 oven at 2am and cooking it all night until about 11 am-ish. I’m not sure if she cranked it up prior and let it cook some there before turning it down, but now I am thinking WOAH, why didn’t we DIE! (Have no idea either way at this late date.)
 

Walrus Whisperer

Hope in chains...
Oh, fess up. The laughs I've gotten out of this thread have made my day. I wouldn't mind a few more. And the oopsies are just life happening while the Foobar Fairies nudge here and there.

My Mom worked two years on a fine lace tablecloth. Put it on the table fresh off the Crochet hook for Thanksgiving. Her dad (my Grandfather) spilled coffee on it and as I remember, burned a hole in it with a cigarette. She had a fit. I still have that thing. One day, I will try to fix it. I miss them both.
I've been wondering who in my family might like my pineapple crocheted tablecloth. Never been used. Sigh.
 

Hermantribe

Veteran Member
And who’s going to be the lucky one who gets to take away her car keys and tell her that her driving days are over?:shk:
She refuses to move from OK to CA, where 3 of her 4 kids live. Her family has all passed and she's alone in OK. One of my girls is now looking for a house to rent in Sioux Falls to share with her until we move to Texas in 12-18 months. When we have the car figured out (totaled or fixable) I may fly out and help her get set up with grocery delivery, etc., then try to find a way to get her rides to her various doctor appts. I did not realize how much she's aged.
 

myrtlemaye

Contributing Member
I don't think I've ever participated in a Thanksgiving where something, somewhere didn't go awry. You know what I mean--the year you dropped the cooked turkey in the sink, or the year the mashed potatoes came out like potato soup. Uncle Lewis passing out drunk on the couch doesn't count, 'cuz he always did that.

Cyberiot's Holiday Misadventure, 2021 Edition: Just finished making the cranberry sauce, and went to put it on the back porch to cool. A bit slopped over the side of the bowl. Spent a decent chunk of time cleaning cranberry sauce out of the spokes of my bicycle. Not my finest screw-up by a long shot--I think I'm losing my touch.

Tell us what's gone wrong at your house.

And God bless us, every one!

View attachment 304247
I have already burned two sauce pans while trying to cook the turkey giblets.
 

Dux

Veteran Member
Years ago, when we were 95% vegetarian, we had my brother over for the weekend. He insisted on cooking down the turkey carcass for soup, for DAYS. THe house was permeated with that turkey-soup smell. So gross. He also got into a fight with me about how to raise my daughter. He stormed out and didn't speak to me for years after that.

We're happy "orphans" now.
 

Leela

Senior Member
One year we went to visit my aunt in Oregon. She roasted the bird and took it out of the roasting pan. Goes back to look for the roaster so she could make gravy. Turns out my younger cousin had put the pan outside so the dog could lick up all the drippings. No gravy for us that year.
 

bev

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Two years ago, I looked in the fridge to get the turkey out to cook it. It was gone, I was very bewildered to say the least and not amused. So come to find out, my son had it out on a bbq grill smoking it. I had to trust that we wouldn't all die of food poisoning. He has been a cook in fine dining restaurants so I knew that he knew about keeping hot foods hot and cold foods cold, yet I was worried. It turned out good though thank God. It had a nice smoked flavor. My patience was tried that day, because that is only half the story.
You can’t just leave us like that! What’s the rest of the story?
 

Terriannie

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Mine is not nearly so chaotic but I should have known this Thanksgiving will be different.

It started when the dog across the street that I'm looking after for potty breaks and feeding took off right before I closed their door. I did not need this. Calling her name over and over she just ran from me up and down the street. Thank goodness for a neighbor down the street who heard, corralled her and grabbed her collar.

When I got back, my daughter called to say she won't make it tonight. She got her booster shot yesterday and woke up in the middle of the night with fever and chills. She said she's feeling somewhat better but still not right and to go on with my granddaughters and son in law but without her. I had to hold my tongue but ten things came to my mind along with fear.

Being a non-fan of the vaccine has it drawbacks. Fear and wariness is one on them but I am determined to go on with the dinner for the rest of the crew that will come.

Mixing disappointment with blessings is all part and parcel to giving thanks to Our Lord on this special day.

Happy Thanksgiving all of you!!!
 

Macgyver

Veteran Member
Couple years ago I was distracted and started mashing the potatoes without draining the water out of the pot.
I was able to drain out most of the water.
Fixed it by adding instant flakes.
Heavy cream and a couple sticks of butter and you could not tell I screwed it up.
 

Texican

Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
Years past, my Dad was being a complete jerk, and my Aunt slapped him so hard that she nearly knocked him out of his chair.

I miss family dinners. :)
MD,

Was this your dad's sister? Probably goes back along time.

Back when my maternal grandparents lived on the ranch, the porpane ran out before Thanksgiving dinner was complete. Thankfully my grandmother had wood stove that she preferred and was stoked due to the coolness of the day.

The turkey and dressing out of the wood stove are still discussed today as to how flavorful they were even though it is my mother and I left to remember.

Thanksgiving this year is my DW, my DM and I since the rest of the family are engaged otherwise including my son going camping today with his best friend and his friend's son that has never been camping.

Happy Thanksgiving to all for we all have family, each other and freedom to be thankful for.

Texican....
 
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