Story Teaghan and Sloan

[Kathy in FL]

Here's another one that @seraphima reminded me I hadn't brought over here. It is in progress but if you want it, here it is ...

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Teaghan and Sloan

Prologue​

I hate everyone.

Ok, no I don't, not really. I'm just angry.

Although, if I'm being honest with myself it's close to real hate for a few people around here. Including the person in the mirror that has a good bit of responsibility for me being in the situation I'm in.

I sold myself. That's worth hating yourself for isn't it?

At first I told myself that I didn't have any choice. I was alone. I had a roof over my head but that was being taken away. Mr. Burdock and his supporters said it was necessary to keep the peace. "Look where trying to run things like they used to be done led us," he said afterwards. "We've got to go to our roots to find a way out of this mess." The thing is by "roots" it took me a long time to understand that he meant returning to the Dark Ages, only without the Chivalry. And to be honest in the beginning things weren't all that bad. Now ... now I just don't know. But this isn't going to make sense to just blather on with bits and pieces of it. They want a confession then I'll give them a confession.

Where to start? Where to start? Well I'm not going all the way back to the beginning; there's absolutely no sense in it. That's been picked apart ad nauseum for so long that I'm not sure what is true and what isn't. I do know it started before I was old enough to realize anything was going on. I wasn't a baby or even a little kid by the time I figured out the world was pretty messed up, but I wasn't much more than that. Dad used to say that things fell apart so slowly you almost didn't notice it as you were too busy just trying to get through the day and the next problem.

The haves. The have nots. Some people had money, some people didn't. Some people had their own homes, some people didn't. Some people had food, some people didn't. Some people had jobs, some people didn't. Some people lived in peaceful communities, some people didn't.

We were the kind that lived in a peaceful community. For a while.

But nothing lasts forever right? You gotta go with the flow. Take things as they come. Deal with reality.

Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada.

I'd grown up living with the war and the prejudices on both sides which caused the war. It made things hard for a lot of reasons but hard was "normal" for me; my peers and I didn't know anything different. The hate and the rhetoric was even part of the school day. As it turns out if it hadn't been for the war I likely wouldn't have been born ... I was a whoopsie from when Dad was home on leave one time.

After my dad got too old and injured to be in the war he came home and used his pension to buy out my uncles and take over my grandparents' farm rather than see it go out of the family which is where it was heading fast. No sooner had he done that than my brothers were called up to go off to war. But lucky for them they didn't have to be in it long because finally, despite taking forever and a flaming day, everyone around the world finally got tired of fighting and agreed to a more or less permanent cease fire ... no one actually surrendered, everyone saved face, and wound up just deciding to stop shooting and bombing the crap out of each other because no one was winning. When no one is winning even war can get boring as sin after a while.

Suddenly there were a lot of extra men floating around with no jobs and nothing to really help them use up all of the testosterone they were used to burning off on the battlefield or in training for battle. You can't blame them exactly since they didn't get much help re-interfacing with society, though they've gotta hold some responsibility. I don't know. I know my brothers acted a little crazy sometimes but not too bad all things considered. Besides which Dad told them if they were going to keep living at home they had to contribute which meant working their butts off like the rest of us to put food on the table and keep the lights on. Then there was this bad virus that went around and it killed a lot of people. It wasn't as bad as the influenza pandemic after the First World War but it wasn't far off from it either. Its major claim to fame was that it killed a disproportionate number of older folks, little kids, … and women.

My grandparents and most of their generation died or became so debilitated that Heaven's Gates got a whole lot closer. A lot of babies and toddlers died too. What really got hit and threw the population out of kilter was the death of so many women. It seems that for some reason certain strains of the pandemic virus got help spreading around inside the human body by some kind of estrogen sensitivity mechanism or whatever. No one has ever really determined what exactly the estrogen had to do with it, the scientists just knew that it did. They say that it is likely every female on the planet got infected but not all of them got sick. They don't know why for that either. But the fact remains that my mom and big sister Hannah died and I didn't. My dad and brothers - Jeremiah and Jason - were totally devastated and freaked and if it wasn't for the fact that I needed to help on the farm to keep things running they probably wouldn't have even let me outside of the house.

So from that point forward there were a lot of unattached males with grief issues and not as much self-control as you would like them to have. Now the haves and have nots were defined in a different way. Some men had families, some did not. Some men had female companionship, some did not. Women and girls started getting treated almost like a commodity in some places. That may have been like it already was in other countries but that's not the way it was supposed to be here; yet it was. People still tried to act civilized but if they would have gotten scratched you'd find it was only on the surface.

All of this out of kiltered-ness caused a schism in our community; a bad one. Everyone you might have asked would have given you a different reason for the schism, most of them trying to keep it something traditional like financial and social issues, but I heard my dad and brothers talking and it was really just over that some guys wanted or needed a woman anyway they could get her and on the other side there were men who were just as determined to keep and protect the women under their care.

Into this horrible mix came people that were supposed to be there to help straighten out the problems we were having. They would arrest agitators and protect women who just wanted to be able to walk down the street unmolested. They created public work projects to put people to work and give them something constructive to do. But behind the scenes they started pitting one person against another, one family against another. Feuds started up. The helpers were actually agitators themselves setting our community up to be taken over by their organization.

Then WHAM it was open war ... practically across the country all at the same time. And then open war around our country became real war around the world as the cease fire failed because we weren't the only ones to suffer devastating losses from the pandemic. It seems countries thought that the easiest way to downsize their young, male population was to use them as cannon fodder. A temporary fix, if that, because the war came to a halt as abruptly as it had started back up when several countries decided they were tired of there being no clear winners and used the nuclear option. Everyone quietly crawled back to their corners to lick their wounds.

Unfortunately not even that stopped all of the problems. Rainbows, skittles, and unicorn farts didn't suddenly fall from the sky making us all happy-happy; and, if there was a moral to the story it was blurred and blotched and no one could read it. Dad managed to keep Jeremiah and Jason, my hard-headed brothers, out of most of the trouble. We did what we could to stay to ourselves but we couldn't totally because our farm provided a lot of locally consumed produce and even some meat. It was like the Hatfields and McCoys where one side would take pot shots at the other side because of some imagined wrong or whatever. Dad and my brothers made sure I could take care of myself when they were away because it took all three of them to get the goods to town safely.

Only one day they didn't come back. There had been some kind of round up by whoever was in power that day and all three of them were executed in the center of town for having too much. Then someone remembered me and they started heading out to the farm. I didn't have to defend myself more than a few minutes using the guns Dad always had at the ready because Mr. Burdock and his men showed up and "arrested" the attackers. I was crying and asking for Dad and my brothers. He was pretty blunt about what had happened.

I didn't get hysterical ... in fact I stopped crying altogether. For some reason a part of me had already known because of a few things the attacking group of men had yelled. I just walked away from Mr. Burdock and went to the kitchen and came back with an igloo cooler of water for Mr. Burdock and his men. I may have been calm on the outside, trying to do the things I knew that Dad and Mom would have expected of me but on the inside ... I was dying. See I knew what was going to happen next.

Redistribution.

Mr. Burdock is a big wig in town. He heads what passes for the board of county commissioners. Dad had liked and respected him as far as anyone can like and respect a politician I suppose. But Mr. Burdock isn't just a politician ... he has a lot of practical experience from being a soldier, a city planner, and I don't know what all; at times it seems he's done a little bit of everything in his life. He is also a physically strong man and stills works with his own hands a lot. He leads from the front rather than from behind. He's a man other men will follow. He's a man's man. I just suppose I never thought what that would mean to me.

Redistribution.

One of the resulting problems that occurred because of the population destruction that occurred during the pandemic is that a lot of assets and resources are going to waste right at a time when the last thing we need is more waste. The old folks’ home in town is full of people that can no longer take care of themselves but have no family to help them out. We've got men who are single fathers that just can't work full time and take care of their kids full time. We've got a lot of kids that were the children of single mothers who have died so the orphanages and foster homes are packed ... mostly with boys. It is just a real mess all around.

In the case of the farm, for the community to lose what it produced was an unacceptable loss. No one even gave half a thought to the possibility that I could have kept things moving along if I'd had some help. Instead the state of mind that Mr. Burdock fostered was that women, being the weaker sex, could not do things like that; and not just because they were physically weaker but because they were too vulnerable to the less scrupulous. Apparently in Mr. Burdock's world women are distractions. He didn't blame us for it but it was a state of being that he felt needed remedying. So when it was discovered that there was no male heir to inherit the farm and work it with me/for me the BOCC used imminent domain to manage the problem.

But ...

Isn't there always a but? See the thing that was happening at the same time was that the "weaker sex" thing was really gaining ground. And then it happened. I became part of the redistribution to manage the distraction I would inevitably cause some poor males.

I've given this a lot of thought. Some of it is an excuse for why I made the choice I did and some of it is just a desire to find out why ... why things have taken the turn they have. I want to rationalize and justify why everyone has done what they've done to make it comfortable and palatable. I guess most of the time it works, because I'm only half crazy and not completely crazy.

See I think what happened was that day someone determined that enough was enough. An example had to be made. My father and brothers weren't the only people executed that day in the town square. There were a lot of families hurting. A lot of people not thinking clearly. Maybe some of it was revenge too but mostly it was that everyone knew it just couldn't be allowed to happen anymore. The men that had executed my family and so many others were themselves executed. But that left a mess of broken up families and potentially ruining assets and somehow in a way it became the women's fault. And if not their fault they certainly hadn't helped matters as the women, or lack of, was said to be the root cause of everything. We were after all the weaker, distracting sex; no man would have done what they did if they'd been thinking straight. So since blame had to be laid, they laid it at the feet of women. I've talked to the few women that were there that day and they've all said that there was no reasoning with the men once the idea had been planted and their strategy developed.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER ONE​

"Mr. Burdock ... you ... I mean ..."

"Teaghan, I understand that you are still in shock, but we have to move quickly before we have another civil war on our hands. And we still may yet if we cannot consolidate our communities and strengthen them against the threats that are coming from all sides these days."

"Yes sir. Ok. I heard you and Dad and the boys talking often enough about that part of it but ..."

"But me no buts young lady. Now listen here, I considered your father a friend, a good man, a fine soldier. He didn't tolerate shenanigans out of you and I know your mother was a fine woman that raised you to behave properly. That makes you, in my eyes, a high priority. And this farm ... it's been in your family a long time."

"Since before the Civil War ... the first one."

"You don't really want to leave it do you?"

Quietly, trying not to whine, I told him, "You know I don't Mr. Burdock."

"Then you need to take into serious consideration this offer. Sloan is a good man. Hard working. Lots of ingenuity. Farm experienced. He has two nephews to look after as well that wouldn't be hurt by a little female influence of the proper sort to let them know that such things exist and are to be looked for from the proper quarter. It's already been decided that Sloan is going to be the recipient of the farm. Additionally, he has won a lottery to have the opportunity to get matched up with a woman to help him take care of the house and his nephews. You want to stay on the farm then I'll arrange it so you don't have to go into the lottery so long as you agree to a marriage contract with Sloan Williams."

I heard ringing in my ears and felt like puking, but Mr. Burdock didn't seem to notice though his next words made me wonder in hindsight. "There's been a few to object of course but they saw reason when they realized the alternative would be to leave the community and start someplace else on their own. I realize you are young and may not understand the whole of it but I hope you aren't so stupid as not to understand the dangers involved in that particular choice."

He talked a little more and mostly I listened.

"Do I at least get to meet him first?"

"Unfortunately no. To keep things fair and above board we've made it a blind draw. We are using proven methods to match compatible individuals. This avoids any of those ridiculous 'he's ugly, she's fat' arguments. You either agree to the match or you lose your opportunity." After a brief look around, as if checking to see there was no one listening in he added, "Teaghan you're 17. Old enough to marry without parental or guardian permission but too young to sign a legal contract. Realistically we could just put you on a bus and have you taken to the nearest orphanage until you reached your majority. I don't think you want that. This offer at least gives you an option. I picked out Sloan for you personally since I know his family and background."

"And ... and this Mr. Williams, he's agreed to this already?"

"Sloan is a good man. I can't say he is completely comfortable with the arrangement - all of us wish it didn't have to come to this - but he knows what is at stake. He's agreed to take a pig in a poke if it gains him what is necessary to continue to be a contributing member of our communities and that allows him to continue his business now that his cousin has taken over all of the warehouse as a distribution center and competes directly with Sloan. He's originally from Kiln Ridge though he spent some time traveling the world during the war since he was eighteen."

"How ... uh ... old is he?"

"No details Teaghan. And I need your decision now."

God forgive me I was so scared that I agreed without really knowing what I was agreeing to. Then I read the contract and knowing what I had agreed to became something to simply accept and deal with.

---

​

So it was done. I didn't even have to go down to the courthouse with everyone else. I became Mrs. Teaghan Serenity Williams with what Mr. Burdock said was, "A relief from the fuss, muss, or histrionics that others are participating in." He handed me my copy of the contract and left me standing alone staring at it.

See, I was married by proxy. My future husband had sent word that he wouldn't be able to make it back in time for the ceremony at the town square because a river had flooded taking out a bridge and he was going to have to back track and go around. Mr. Burdock said that was just fine and took care of things with the admonition that I was not to leave the farm and that he would station watchers until Sloan could get home. Not my home anymore but his ... or still mine just not in the same way. It has taken me a while to come to terms with that no matter what I said in the beginning.

It was three days after I signed the marriage by proxy contract and I was still grieving. But plants don't understand grief. They live such brief lives that if they could think they would consider grief a waste of time. And time was something no one had to waste here at the opening of harvest time. The load of barley that Dad and my brothers had taken to town was just the start of the busy season. It was mid-June and I faced an overwhelming task but I knew I had to at least attempt it or all of the work that had been expended in the beginning would be wasted ... not to mention we wouldn't be eating either.

I was out at the Asparagus patch trimming the last of the shoots. It was too hot and they would be too tough from here on out but there were still enough in that last cutting that I could fill two canners full. I'd been busy that day already. A load of rhubarb was soaking in the sink at the house and I also had several flats of strawberries in the frig to deal with as well. Out of the blue a cold, wet nose goosed me and I yelped, "Boone!" Only suddenly I remembered that poor ol' Boone the watch dog had been killed when the men attacked the farm.

I jumped and scrambled away as the biggest, ugliest, smelliest mutt I'd ever seen sprawled in the middle of the asparagus patch. He reached out and plucked one of my asparagus spears out of my basket and held it in his mouth like a cigar.

"Great. Just tell me you didn't visit the chicken coop for a little snack before deciding to munch on my 'gus."

"Burdock said you weren't easy to knock off your pins. Most folks don't appreciate their first introduction to Shotgun but are quite a bit louder about it."

What the dog hadn't been able to do the voice of a man had. I had my gun out and aimed at his middle a whole lot faster than he or the dog had expected. The dog's hackles came up and he growled and the man said, "Easy. Shotgun is ready to lunge."

I knew it as I could see the dog out of the corner of my eye. But of the two the man seemed the more dangerous.

I didn't say a word. The man sighed and said, "The boys are going to be here in about five seconds and I'd prefer them not to see their new aunt in a threatening light."

I unstuck my voice and said, "Prove who you are."

"My ID is in the truck."

Then we both heard voices yelling, "Uncle Sloan?! Uncle Sloan?! You found her yet?!"

The gun disappeared as fast as it had appeared as two boys tried to push their way through the brambles. I told them, "Stop that. You're going to bruise the canes. Back out and come around the path like civilized people do. And don't scare the chickens; they've been traumatized off their laying schedule as it is."

The boys were so surprised to be confronted that way that they did as told while the man watched me with a bemused expression. The dog had stood down as soon as the gun had disappeared but as the boys entered the cleared space he tried to get into my 'gus again. I told him, "Unless you want your tail bobbed and no dinner you will keep your dirty snout out of my 'gus."

Two surly boys snapped, "Hey! You can't talk to our dog that way."

I looked at the boys and raised my eyebrow just like Mom had taught me. "Your dog? You're a poor master as I see three ticks in his ear without even trying. Take that poor beast over to the field barn, get rid of those ticks, and use the dog shampoo you find in there and give him a bath."

"You can't tell us what to do," the older of the two said even more angrily.

The man interrupted and said, "Yes, she can. I've already explained this to you."

"You said she can't hurt us."

"So far I haven't seen a thing she's said that would do that. Now take Shotgun and do what you were told to do."

That didn't set too well with the boys but they did as instructed. I asked, "Has the dog ... Shotgun is it ... had his shots?"

"Why?"

"Because if he hasn't I've got the stuff in the cooler. Boone ..."

"Who's Boone?" the man asked suspiciously.

"He was my dog. I had to bury him the other day."

The man was quiet and then sighed. "This is not how I imagined it would go."

"Meeting for the first time?" At his nod I asked, "How did you think it would go?"

He just shook his head. "Certainly not like this."

We stood looking at each other then I shrugged. "I didn't know either. You're not blonde. For some reason I thought you'd be a blonde."

"Like Prince Charming?" he snorted in derision.

"No. Like Mr. Burdock's son Henry. I don't know why really. I just did. Next would have been a sandy or a brunette, or maybe even white headed since I didn't know how old you were. I sure didn't think you'd be copper headed."

He looked closely at me and I felt embarrassed. "Sorry," I told him. "I know my manners aren't that good right now. I could make an excuse and say I'm stressed out but ..." I shrugged. "Mom would probably give me the eye over it. I'm just nervous and tend to run my mouth when ..." I stopped and then shrugged again not knowing how to get myself out of the hole I had dug.

He looked at me hard then seemed to relax. "It's all right. But nervous or not we ... er ..."

"Need to talk. Yeah. I kinda figured we should get it over up front. Just ... could we do it without an audience? This is hard enough to talk about without ... "

"My men will watch the boys."

At the mention of more men I stepped back and wound up tripping over my basket. The man ... Sloan ... bent forward and I backed away even further. He stopped and straightened up. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I swallowed. "What ... what about the other men." I was breathing hard and it wasn't until that point that some of the feelings I'd been trying to hold off caught up with me. I covered my mouth in shock. "Oh god ... I'm ... I'm sorry. I'm just ... freaking out. Give me a sec ... I'll ... I'll ..."

Sloan squatted down and I tried really hard not to back up any further. I already looked and felt ridiculous. "Burdock didn't say. Did those men hurt you?"

I shook my head quickly. "No."

"It's not going to do any good if we start off lying to each other."

"I'm not ... lying I mean. I don't know what the problem is. Just give me a sec. I'll be fine ... I am fine. I'm ... I'm just having a reaction or something."

It took almost a minute but I managed to get my shakes under control. He slowly put out his hand out to help me stand up and though it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do up to that point I made myself put my hand in his to accept the hand up. Then I noticed the 'gus all over the place and groaned. "I swear. All I've done is make more work." I bent down hurriedly and picked everything up ... except for the two 'gus spears that the dog had chewed on and said, "I gotta get these back to the house and bathing in some cool water before they're rurnt."

"Ok," Sloan said carefully like he was trying not to scare me.

Getting irritated at the situation I had caused I told him, "Really. I'm OK. Just don't ask me to ... to ... you know ... get too close to ... your men. I'll get used to them, just not yet."

"Fair enough. I'm surprised you're not more shook up."

"Oh I'm shook. I could probably sit down and cry buckets but like Dad always says ... said ... a bucket of tears is harder to pump than a bucket of water so why not just do the water and get some work done so you can forget about the tears."

"My aunt says something along the lines if you're going to feel sorry for yourself you might as well go peck poop with the chickens."

Involuntarily my lips twitched then I looked at him. "You're a salesman aren't you." It was a statement, not a question.

"When I need to be."

I nodded. "Figured. You sound something like the men that would come to the farm and try and sweet talk Dad down to a lower price per bushel on things."

He said, "I've done that too. But a word of warning ... I might do the sweet talking but I don't fall for someone doing that to me."

I shrugged. "Well don't expect me to try, I never learned. I'd probably look even sillier than I already must."

I stopped for just the briefest of moments when I saw about a dozen men littering the porch and yard. "I can't believe I didn't hear you. I wish Boone ..." I shook my head and continued walking though I headed towards the back of the house where the big kitchen was.

He followed me in and I put the basket on the work table. "Unless you want ... want to ... change things up I usually serve the regular meals in the dining room - it's across the hall - but mornings I serve biscuits or pancakes or whatever straight from the stove top in here."

Sloan was looking around with a critical eye. It made me feel uncomfortable and defensive. "Just because it hasn't been modernized doesn't mean it isn't a good house."

He looked at me in surprise and then shook his head. "You're reading me wrong. Look, I'm gonna go talk to my men and get them started. It's already mid-day and there's alot to do. You'll see them going all over the place. They're going to survey the land and outbuildings. Legal docs are one thing but I want a critical eye to what might be needed and what I have to work with."

I wanted to scream or sit down and have a cry but I knew neither one would put things the way I wanted them to be so I looked away and nodded.

He continued, "I know this isn't ... well ... Look, it's just got to be done."

"I know," I told him then sighed. "Look, they do know how to watch out so they don't trample things right? They're not like the boys and gonna stomp roughshod over things?"

"For the sake of argument what in particular would you worry about them 'stomping' on?"

"The wheat for one thing ... we plant Winter Red the end of September and it's ready for the combine. We keep ... kept ... about half of it for us and then traded the rest. The field is down the road that leads to the burley tobacco barn ... passed the hogs. And that's another thing ... the hogs are mean from being stirred up. The boys and their dog definitely need to stay out until they get the measure of each other. The potato patch looks weedy because the cultivator needs to be run through it but I put it off because we were going to dig the first couple of rows." I swallowed back the tears that I wouldn't be following Jeremiah and Jason picking up potatoes ever again. "The bramble hedges ... oh I suppose it doesn't matter. They'll do what they do. Just keep them out of the wheat and the hogs 'cause I guess right now that's the most important."

"What about cows? Burdock said you have a small herd."

"Had. Dad had to sell most of them last year just because we couldn't keep up with them all and he wouldn't hire a man because ..."

"Of you."

"Yeah. Because of me. I suppose Mr. Burdock told you. He'd hired one right after Mom and Hannah died - Hannah was my sister - and he tried ..." I shook my head again since it was no good going over bad times. "Before those men attacked the farm we were down to six cows and one bull. Two of the six were milch and Dad was planning on freshening two more but the bull was shot and there was no way to save him. They got one of the cows too but it wasn't one of the milch."

"Where are they and I'll have the men bury them?"

"Too late. I've butchered them rather than lose the meat. It's why I had to put off so many things the last couple of days."

"You. You butchered them. By yourself."

There was definite disbelief in his voice and I told him, "Yeah, it wasn't pretty but Dad would have had a fit if I had let it all go to waste. Most of it is in the freezer because I've been running the canners with other things. I would have had a hog to butcher too but the shot tore through its intestines and rurnt the carcass. I guess I need to ask ... do I need to cook for your men too?"

"When they're here. Is that a problem?"

"Depends."

"Depends?"

Noting the tone of his voice I said, "Huh? Oh I just meant ... Not the cooking part - I cooked for the tobacco harvesters when they came and there were about the same number - I just meant we just didn't plan the kitchen garden for this many people on a regular basis. I'm going to have to sit down and work the food budget to see what has to be moved around and if there is anything that I can plant more of."

"You? You did the books?"

Again with the disbelief which left me understanding he didn't have a whole lot of confidence in the female species, or didn't have a whole lot of experience in people as a general habit. I shrugged. "Jeremiah and Jason were number dyslexic. There wasn't much they couldn't do but numbers was one of them. So Sarah and I helped Dad with that part and helped Mom with the house ledger at the same time. Then ... then there was just me so I did it all. It was how I helped because Dad wouldn't let me run the big machinery when it had to be used. I can run a tractor of course ..."

Sloan said, "Of course."

I checked to see if he was making fun of me and there was a strange look on his face but I think it was surprise more than sarcasm. "Of course," I repeated.

"Just not the big machinery."

This time I saw a twinkle in his eye and I wasn't sure what to make of it. I knew it made me uncomfortable. "Don't."

"What?"

"Don't make fun. I'm trying to be ... mature about this whole thing. I know ... well mostly know ... what I've gotten myself into. I think. But don't make fun. We've both already said that neither of us knew what exactly to expect but don't start out making fun of who I am."

With a sigh of resignation he said, "You're definitely pricklier than I expected."

"I don't mean to be. I'm tired but I'm trying to use good manners. Mr. Burdock said that was important and one of the reasons why he let me have a chance at staying with my home. I don't want to get sent away. I don't. It's just a lot to get used to so quickly."

Taking his cap off and scratching his head he mumbled, "We really need to talk."

 

[Kathy in FL]

There are 30 chapters to this one thus far and it is going to take me a bit to get them posted here as some of them are rather long and require editing.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER TWO​

I was too tired and it was too late to do anything fancy so I just made several large pans of chicken pot pie. Mom and Sarah both usually left the pies and things like dumplings to me since I liked doing them and had been taught by my grandmother. My biscuits and light bread were good as well. But Mom and Sarah and Aunt Pauline did the cakes as they said I tended to treat the batter like the enemy and beat on it too much. Dad said I had gotten better but I know I still need some work.

I was putting the pans in the big oven when Sloan walked back into the kitchen and stopped suddenly in surprise. "I didn't mean for you to go to a lot of trouble."

I shook my head. "This isn't trouble. Trying to do much anything else would have been. Will they eat strawberries for dessert or do I need to make something else?"

"Strawberries?"

I walked over to the frig and opened it up for him to see the berries all capped and ready to go. "I was going to make strawberry and rhubarb pie filling tonight but ... um ... I ... er ..."

I must have turned several shades of red and he finally understood because he turned a couple of shades of pink as well that clashed with his hair. "We'll talk about that. Do with the berries what you had planned. The men plan on going to town after dinner."

"Watch the curfew. Mr. Burdock was making a big deal out of it."

"They were going to stay there overnight ... hook up with sommmme ... errrrr ... old friends."

I put my hands on my hips. "I had two older brothers. I'm not a complete ignoramus. They're going to that place all the guys call Cassie's Cat House down by the river."

"You're a little young to know about that place."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm seventeen, not seven. All I've heard is how men have appetites that need to be met or there's gonna be trouble and that's why alot of this stuff has happened. It's like one of those stupid bodice-rippers that Hannah used to like to read. Only in this story it's too dang hard to know who the hero is supposed to be. I ..." My shoulders drooped. "Ignore me ... just ignore everything that comes out of my mouth. Pretend you never heard a sound I made. I'm gonna go find a hole and crawl in it."

Instead of being mad as I expected Sloan's shoulders start shaking and then his belly starts bouncing and then he's actually chuckling but in a way that told me he'd do more than chuckle if only he wasn't trying to control it. "OK, time to talk."

My mouth suddenly got dry and my hands wanted to shake so I stuck them in the pocket of the overalls I was wearing. "OK. Where?"

"Here at the table is fine."

I sat. He sat. Then we just sort of stared at everything but each other. Finally he cleared his throat. "Some of this is going to be ... awkward. For both of us. But it needs discussing." He stretched his neck and fidgeted a bit then not looking directly at me asked, "Did Burdock explain things?"

"What things?"

"That ... er ... that we're married."

"Oh. That thing." I swallowed. "He said it was a real marriage ... or would be ... when you decided."

Sloan nodded. "So you understand that part."

Wincing a little I asked, "You mean ... uh ... mechanically?" Suddenly he was looking straight at me and my face got so hot with embarrassment I thought for sure it was going to set off the smoke alarm. "Well what else am I supposed to call it? Sex is not exactly a word you bandy about these days unless you want to get a certain reputation and be given a hard time every time you try to go to the store."

Sloan wiped his mouth and I had a sudden suspicion. "Are you making fun of me again?!"

He shook his head but chuckled. "I wasn't making fun of you the first time you thought I was. And I'm not making fun of you this time either. It's just the way you put things." He scrubbed his face with his hands and then ran them through his hair that already looked like the last time it had seen a brush was several days back. "Look. Teaghan. This part isn't easy on me either so I'm just going to say it. I need to know how much ... experience ... you have with men so I know how to ... er ... proceed from here. I agreed to this marriage too but I don't want to live in a war zone and I don't want things to be any more difficult than they're naturally going to be. So help me out here will you?"

I didn't know whether to reach back and grab a skillet and throw it at him or to crawl under the table and hide. Since neither action was likely to get the conversation over any sooner I decided to just tell him like it was. "I don't have any ... experience ... if that's what you're asking. That kind of experience would have gotten the boy dead and me grounded for life or longer. Plus, I had two older brothers that were soldiers and the biggest kick they got was making Hannah's and my life hell when it came to having any kind of male friends. We got shadowed every place we went, even church, not that we got to do much of that after a while either. Any person of the male persuasion either had to be eighty years old and falling apart or two and still hanging on their momma or they'd get the twins' double barrel stare down. Dad was only better about it because he let the boys take the heat for doing what he'd do if they didn't. All Mom ever said was, 'Well Honey, that's just their way of saying they love you.' Which I guess it was, and which in hindsight I appreciate, but it definitely put the kibosh on any so-called experience."

"Uh huh."

"You're laughing again."

"Not at you exactly."

"Sure. Now can we move along?"

He tried to control his chuckles and said, "Well ... as to that ... what I mean to ask is if you've considered ... when ..."

"Oh Lord, I'm just gonna die." I put my hands over my eyes and said in a rush, "Look I made the bargain. I know what marriage entails. If you wanna tonight then ok. Just don't expect me to know what I'm doing exactly. And you're not allowed to get mad about that either because you made the bargain too. Besides Mr. Burdock said you were a little hesitant about buying a pig in a poke but that you were willing to live with it."

"He said what?!" And then he was off laughing like a lunatic and I really was wondering if they'd put me in jail for spousal-cide if I wasn't exactly a spouse yet.

I got up to check on the oven and I heard him get up in a hurry and come over. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"You didn't."

"I did but I didn't mean to. It's just I have found myself in some crazy situations before but this takes the cake. C'mon and sit back down."

Not having much choice I did as he asked.

"Teaghan ... yeah. One of the reasons my men are leaving for the night is so that we can ... get compatible with one another." We both winced at how that sounded but he kept bulling through it. "We'll work on it and let's just leave that alone for a while." I nodded and I think he was as relieved as I was to get on to another subject. "Now, about the farm ..."

"What about it?"

"That's the thing ... I don't know a thing about it. Burdock said it was a good farm but didn't include much else in his communique' and frankly didn't give me much of a chance to ask any questions. So all things considered a pig in a poke pretty much sums it up."

"Can I ask you something?" At his nod I asked, "What do you do? For a living I mean. Mr. Burdock said you had farm experience but from where I'm sitting ... I don't know ... you just don't seem like a farmer, or not any one that I've ever met."

Leaning back in the chair Sloan said, "I have farming experience but maybe not exactly how you took what Burdock said. I grew up working on my uncle's dairy farm. Until he lost it to foreclosure anyway. We all went to live in town with my grandparents after that and I hired out with whoever would take me. Found out that I was good at sniffing out deals and started working as a middle man in the supply chain. It progressed to what I do today."

"And that is?"

"I'm a reclamation specialist."

"Oh. You're one of those guys that go and reclaim abandoned property."

"Yep. You got a problem with that?" he asked a little belligerently.

"Why should I? It's a job isn't it? Better than stealing stuff or letting things rot when so many people need stuff they can't get for themselves."

"Some people say it is stealing."

"Puh-leeze. People that say that don't know nothing."

"And you do?"

"And how. My brothers were going to get into that line of work ... until they found out how much paperwork is involved and how much hard work for maybe not that much return. Jeremiah in particular. He said if he was going to have to sweat as hard as they had he'd rather do it farming with Dad 'cause at least then he'd know he'd eat on a regular basis. The one experience they had was enough to convince them it wasn't for them; they did the reclamation on the old Turner place that used to sit not too far from here. The paperwork alone - the permits and reports and tax statements - was a huge nightmare even with me and Hannah helping to fill things out; and so was trying to guard the site until they were through and could get everything to market."

"Well, it appears you do know."

"Told you I did. Which kind of makes me ask, are you giving that up to farm full time or ... uh ... " Worriedly I asked, "Are you looking to put the farm on the market?"

"No to both. The farm is going to be my home base and give me something to fall back on when reclamation work gets less profitable."

"Will it?"

"Eventually. That's the nature of having a market driven economy. The farm is basically ... let's just call it my ace in the hole ... my retirement plan."

"Oh."

He sighed. "I don't mean to belittle what the place meant to your family but you need to understand my side of things."

"I do. I might not want to but Dad said that I needed to be a realist. It's why he and the boys taught me to take care of myself. It's why I could shoot those men without too much ..."

"Too much what?"

I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I hope you don't expect me to shed any tears over them. They are part of the group that killed my family. But also don't think that what I did was about revenge because I didn't even know anything had happened to my dad and brothers at that point though I kind of figured something was up from the things they were yelling to try and scare me." I had his attention. "Sloan ... I can call you that right or do I need to call you Mister?"

"Sloan is fine."

"Ok ... Sloan then. Anyway it was just I knew what those men were after and I was just as determined they weren't going to get it. I don't like that I had to kill the ones I did ... regret that it came to that ... it wasn't my choice for them to act like that. But I made the decision to defend myself and that's what I did."

Sloan nodded. "That's the way I heard it and that's the way life is sometimes. You do what you gotta do."

"Ok then. Just so long as we understand each other."

"On that we do. It also means I won't have to put a bodyguard on you when I'm not around which is one less expense. Now for the rest of it. Like I told you, I helped out on my uncle's dairy so I'm aware of the amount of work involved in farming. He even grew some of the feed he needed and my aunt always had a big garden we all had to help with. But I'm not sure what kind of set up you have here."

I blew my breath out through pursed lips. "Wow. Well ... hmm."

"That doesn't sound promising. If there are troubles ..."

"No. I'm just sort of ... well ... trying to figure out where to start." I stood up and went over to a glass fronted cabinet and opened the door. I reached in and took out the most recent farm ledger and brought it back to the table. "I'm not sure how big of an operation you are used to dealing with. I've heard dairies can be pretty big so what you have to understand is that we are a family farm, not one of those big corporate ones like in the Midwest. We do things to be as self-sustainable as possible to lower our expense but sometimes that does cut into making a profit in the market since we have to keep fields and yields to a manageable size." I opened the ledger up to the last page and entered the information on the 'gus that I had harvested that day. "See here? Dad liked us to all sit together at night and enter what we'd done for the day ... planting, harvesting, hunting, injuries, illnesses both human and animal, fuel purchases, mechanical repairs ... you can find it all in the ledgers. And the ledgers go back for years and years. They line Dad's office ... uh ... I mean the office. More than years they cover generations. Some of the family kept better notes than others. Some are more like journals and others are more like bookkeeping only. Some you'll have an awful time deciphering because of the handwriting and how old the ink is."

"Generations?" he asked with an astounded look.

"Yeah. My family has owned - sorry, did own - this land since before the civil war, the first one. Carpet baggers tried to take it from us but we beat them by simply marrying them and turning them onto our way of life."

Sloan smothered another involuntary chuckle and said, "Go on."

"You wanna know about the farm this will be a good place to start."

"Can you sum up the more recent history?"

I looked and sure enough there was another one of those doggone twinkles. "Fine." I wanted to do something to wipe that smirk off his face but I sensed an underlying dangerousness in him that I'd be foolish to meddle with at that stage ... maybe ever. "I got the last of the 'gus ... asparagus ... today. Usually I don't harvest it this late but the weather has been funky and things ran a little later than normal. I still have rhubarb to harvest and should have until the end of the month though by then I might just be sick of it we've had such a bumper crop. I'd love to get rid of some in town but Mr. Burdock nixed that saying we weren't the only ones with bumper crops and he had it coming out the ears at his place. The field strawberries are almost give out but the ones in the strawberry tiers and the hanging pots in the greenhouse are still giving enough that I get a couple of pints a day. We need to combine the wheat in the next day or two so long as there isn't any rain and the almanac doesn't call for any. The hay needs to be windrowed ... you know what that is?"

He nodded, "You cut it, let it dry in place, then you windrow it so that dries all the way through, then you bail it."

I smiled as he'd gotten it exactly right. "I wasn't sure ... most people think you just cut it and bail it all at the same time. Most of the alfalfa has been cut and is ready for windrowing. We've got other types of hay on the opposite side of the farm but we usually turn our own animals out into it ... except I doubt the cows could keep up with what we have although with the goats in there it'll help."

"Goats?"

"One of Jeremiah's old 4H projects that just kinda took off and Hannah and I ... well, I kept it up after Hannah wasn't around to help. Jeremiah didn't care one way or the other and Dad let it be my project so I could have money of my own. Although I guess the goats are yours now too."

"We'll get back to that, just tell me about the farm."

I told myself to stop moping because reality wasn't going to change just because I wished it to be a different way. "The barley went to market that day with Dad and the boys. What we normally keep from the yield is already bagged up and down in the basement. I'll show you that when you want to."

He got up to look and then sat back down. "We'll get to show in a bit, let's finish tell."

I shrugged. I tried to hold onto my pride without falling to the mopes. "The early apples will be ready to pick probably starting next week and then rolling through the various types - unless we have a failure - there will be apples to harvest through into November and we usually get a good out of town market for them."

He interrupted with a question. "What are you harvesting right now that you haven't already mentioned?"

"In alphabetical order?" He just raised an eyebrow and let me pick. "It isn't that much ... boysenberries, broccoli, cherries, domestic greens, pot herbs, peaches, nectarines, and like I said, the potatoes need to be dug. I always pick wild greens and anything I find out in the woods and hedgerows because you never know when if you don't you'll regret it. Things don't get crazy busy until next month but Dad always had us on a schedule so that nothing came in all at the same time. Or that was the plan, sometimes you can't stop what nature is going to do no matter how much planning you do."

"So July is the busy season."

"July and August ... and the first part of September. August and September are when the main field crops come in ... corn, sorghum, the silage from both of those, and then the tobacco which is strictly for the local market. Granddad had switched the tobacco out for soybeans when Dad was a little boy but last year we couldn't get seeds for soybeans so Dad went back to tobacco as a filler crop and it sold so well that he put in another crop which he sowed the beginning of May. Tobacco is a lot of work and I don't know that I could do it by myself and have enough to take to market."

Sloan scribbled something on paper then asked me, "Why do you think you're going to be doing it by yourself?"

"You said ... well ... I thought you were going to leave me here to work the farm while you kept being a Reclamation thingie."

He nodded slowly. "It might be that way some of the time but I've got two teams - one is in the field now - so basically I will be able to set my personal schedule somewhat. I just need to get a feel for things first."

We talked more and I told him about the crops we usually harvested each month and what their strengths and weaknesses were as far as marketability. He'd ask questions and I did my best to answer them even if some of them didn't make sense to me. I smelled that the pot pies were ready at almost the exact same moment there was a lot of heavy boots on the porch and someone called, "Boss?!"

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 3​

"Boss, you sure you don't need us to hang around?"

Sloan growled and said, "Get lost Dan."

Dan snickered and I was really glad I was still in the kitchen cleaning up the pile of dishes that had been made. I was doubly glad when one of the boys asked, "Why do we have to take a bath and go to bed Uncle Sloan? We never go to bed this early."

"'Cause I said so. Now move your butts. I've just about had all I'm gonna take tonight. Got it?" I heard feet stomping up the stairs and I shook my head. If my brothers had ever acted that way Dad would have taken their heads off at their ankles. Dad was all about respect ... of course he earned it and didn't have a problem giving it when it was earned.

I nearly dropped the last pan to be washed when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. "You're jumpy."

"Not usually."

"Something about today?"

I shrugged and answered honestly, "Something about tonight."

"You ... er ... wanna wait?"

I glanced at him and saw it was an honest offer. I shook my head. "Like I said, I made the bargain ... just don't expect fireworks or whatever is supposed to happen."

"I take it you read your sister's books too?"

"Lord no. I tried a couple of times but they always gave me the giggles or embarrassed the heck out of me. Hanna caught me sneaking a book back into her room and when Mom found out what we were fighting about Hannah got in trouble for reading what Mom said was no better than porn. Then right after that they got sick and never ..." My throat closed up and I stopped talking.

"How old were you when the virus hit?"

"Fourteen when the first wave hit. That took my grandparents. Second wave less than a year later eventually got my Mom and Sister. Dad and the boys - my brothers - went a little crazy there for a while."

"Are you really seventeen?" he asked out of the blue.

I turned to look at him and said, "Yeah. I know I don't have the polish the town girls do - my brothers told me that often enough I was too much of a tomboy - but I probably know more about reality than a lot of those girls do. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go screaming into the night like a ninny so long as you don't do something to scare me on purpose. If you do all bets are off."

He snorted in surprised and then shook his head. "OK. Deal." He was quiet for a moment then said, "I need to finish bringing my gear in. I need a place to put it."

I put the pan into the dish drainer and then gave it some thought. "Don't take what I'm going to say the wrong way but ... my bed just isn't going to work." I stared off through the window above the sink rather than look at him. "And the ... well ... no ... don't get mad but I just can't do this in my parents' bedroom. I haven't even ... even cleaned it out yet." I swallowed. "You want upstairs or downstairs?"

"Downstairs."

"Then ... yeah, that's probably best. C'mon and I'll show you."

I walked down the hallway and opened the door onto a fairly large bedroom with a big sleigh bed and a fireplace on the exterior wall. "It was my great grandparents' bedroom. Gran called it the guest room but since we never had guests it never got used. But the mattress is the newest one in the house and it should be long enough that you won't have to sleep kitty corner to keep from hanging off."

"Is that a comment about my height?" he said with a smile, trying to break the tension.

I shrugged. "Well you aren't exactly short. You're about the same height as my brother Jason and since you are let me warn you there are probably a couple of door frames upstairs you are going to bang your head on if you forget to duck. The main part of the house was built in the 1850s when most people were shorter than they are today. The rest of the house has just been built on around it and is more accommodating."

"Really? Doesn't seem like the house has been added on to from what I've seen."

"That's the point. So ... the only thing is there isn't a closet per se ... there is a chiffarobe."

"My aunt used to call 'em clothes presses."

"You lived in an old house too?"

He shook his head. "Mom and I lived in a little trailer a ways off from the Big House."

I heard a story in there but I was too nervous to ask. I turned to walk out and Sloan stopped me with a hand on my arm. I straightened my spine and turned around trying not to let him see how I felt. He then patted my shoulder. "This is a good deal for both of us if we just ..." I nodded. I don't know what he would have said after that because we both herd a crash and tore up the stairs.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 4​

Sloan pushed me behind him as I tried to run down the hall. "Boys?!"

"We didn't mean to Uncle Sloan!"

Sloan muttered a creative curse and went towards the boys' voices. I walked into my room to find both of my book cases collapsed across my bed.

"Oh Uncle Sloan. It looks like you aren't going to be sleeping here tonight. She's got a big mess to clean up."

I was staring at the destruction then turned with a jerk when I heard two solid whacks. Sloan had caught each boy a good hard one across their backsides. The boys stood there in shock for about two seconds before jumping around and yelling as they grabbed their butts.

"THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!"

The boys stood stock still with dawning comprehension that their uncle was extremely angry. "I warned you two what would happen if you got up to your tricks. You both promised me you would behave and give me time to work things out. We aren't even here 24 hours before you ..." I could see a vein pulsing in Sloan's temple and knew that the stories of red-headed tempers were certainly true for this particular man. He grabbed each boy by an arm and started hauling them down the stairs. I didn't know what he had planned but I'd seen my father get just as fed up with my brothers though it had been years since they'd done something to rile him as badly as Sloan obviously was.

"Sloan!" He stopped and spun and looked back up to where I was standing on the landing. "Look, I know they're your nephews and ... and I know what they did was just plain wrong whatever their reasons might have been. But I had me two brothers that could do things that made them seem mean as snakes sometimes ... but they weren't really bad at heart ... just god-awfully hard headed."

"Hah!" he barked. "Hard headed doesn't even begin to describe these two. I want an accounting of everything that broke and ..."

"Don't."

The tone of my voice actually stopped him. "Just don't. Some things can't be bought or replaced. What is broken is broken. I'll deal with it. If they start getting the idea that I can be bought off ..." I shook my head. "I'm not that kind of person Sloan even if me agreeing to marry you makes me seem like I am."

I turned and went into my bedroom and shut the door as the full enormity of the choice I had made finally penetrated. I was married to a man I didn't know, one with a nasty temper, who had two nephews that hated me without any reason beyond I existed. I did it all so I wouldn't have to leave home. Only my home wasn't my home anymore, it belonged to Sloan and I was just part of a package deal. And I was supposed to do something with him that I'd never done with anyone else ... and not out of love but in exchange for my own room and board.

Tears leaked out of my eyes but I kept brushing them away impatiently. I wasn't the only one crying however as I heard Sloan give the boys whatfor. I heard them all coming back up the stairs and then the door slowly opened.

"The boys are going to apologize and then help you pick up this mess."

"I'll deal with my things. There's glass all over the floor and they're liable to just get it stuck in their feet."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure," I told him still not turning around.

The boys mumbled apologies between sniffling and then fled to my brothers' old small bedroom they had shared before declaring that they had needed their own space when they turned thirteen. I heard footsteps come back and then Sloan was there trying to stand the book cases back up. "Don't bother. The legs are cracked on both of them and they'll just fall again."

"I'll get Dan to fix these."

"Don't bo ..."

He snapped, "I said ..." He stopped and moderated his voice trying to sound like he had before the boys played their mean trick. "Dan is actually a good carpenter. I've seen him restore stuff I didn't think anything could fix." He sighed and then looked around the room and I tried to see it through his eyes. I'd had the same room since I was a baby. For some reason Mom thought I liked pink ... actually I can't stand it but I always hated to tell her that because she loved the color pink. I had more pink clothes than should be allowed by law. My bed sheets were pink. The walls were pink and the curtains were white with pink roses that Mom had hand embroidered herself.

I told him, "I know ... it's pink."

"Yeah. It is. Like pink do you?"

"Can't stand it if you want to know the truth but Mom and Sarah thought it was 'darling.' Sarah's room was about the same until the health department came in and sprayed some kind of crud all over the place in there. It stained stuff so bad that we had to strip everything out. The boys and I cleaned it up and it has just sort of ..."

"The room down the hall? I wondered why it was the only one in the house that was completely empty."

"Yeah, that one." I had to wipe my nose or risk a snot dribble running into my mouth.

He noticed and asked, "Are you crying?"

"Not really. Just ... "

He took my shoulders and gently but firmly forced me to turn in his direction. He muttered a curse then let go. "I'm sorry for this. Hell of a way to start things between us."

"Isn't your fault and I'm being stupid for crying. Just let it go."

"You say that like you mean it. Were your brothers that hard on you? Uh ... was ... was it your father?"

"What? No! I mean they were hard men but not to me. I guess if I'm like anything it is ... look life basically ... well it sucks. You said you're thirty right?"

"Yeah."

"Well I bet you have some memories from before the war."

"Yeah."

"Well I don't. And you have family left ... your nephews and that cousin or other that Mr. Burdock mentioned."

Sloan gave a slow, "Yeah."

"Well again, I don't. Between the war taking my cousins and the flu taking everyone else but my Dad and brothers and then some crap headed jerks taking them away ... I don't have anyone. I'm the last one left of more than seven generations that have lived and worked here and I couldn't even manage to save the farm and keep it in the family. And all the rest of it that isn't even worth talking about because it doesn't change it from just being the way things are. As I see it I've got two choices ... I can go crazy or I can make the best of things. Gran used to say 'Sugah, crazy just isn't my calah.' And I learned to feel the same way. So if it makes me seem unfeeling or whatever I'm not. I've just decided crazy isn't my color and that's all there is to it."

Sloan snorted. "That's one I've never heard. I'll have to remember it. And I wasn't kidding ... I still want an accounting of what's been broken. It isn't to buy you off ... it's to make the boys understand accountability. I told them last time they broke something I was done shelling out my hard-earned money on their carelessness and meanness."

"There's not much here you could replace. If your Dan can fix the shelves that would be nice. I know they're old but ... they were handmade by one of my great uncles. The books can be taped or glued back together. The other stuff ... it’s just memories. Might be best to pack them away anyway." I stood up and brushed my hands off. "I'll deal with this tomorrow. I need to check the animals one last time."

"I'll do it."

"The animals don't know you; it would probably confuse them rather than settle them down."

"Then I'll come with you."

I'd heard the same tone in Dad's voice when negotiations were over so just nodded in the direction of where the boys lay. In a voice louder than necessary Sloan said something to the effect that they'd better be asleep and not move or they'd get more of what they got earlier and a little more besides for still not learning their lesson.

It took longer than I expected as Sloan didn't know his way around in the dark and then insisted on asking questions. "Cows look in good order though that one with the crumpled horn has a mean disposition."

"Yeah, she can be ornery, but she milks like a dream. She's always stayed fresher longer than the others. I'd love to see her have another calf and see if the characteristic breeds true."

"Ornery or a good milker."

I looked at him and I think he was trying to tease me out of my upset. I tried to smile just because he was being nice but it was a lot of work. "Either or. She's kicked the stuffing out of more than one stray dog that came looking for trouble. That's why ... oh my gosh, where's Shotgun?"

"I made the boys tie him up."

"Doesn't he usually sleep with them?"

"With me actually."

"He's your dog?"

"Yeah. The boys were supposed to look after him while they were staying with my cousin but ..."

"Hmm. Well, Boone sometimes slept inside. Or outside. He was an either or type of dog."

"Your father was fine with that?"

"Yeah. We used to have strictly outside dogs and strictly inside dogs but eventually only Boone was left and he pretty much went where he pleased ... except the dining room. Dad didn't care if he sat and stared from the door way but the dining room was off limits."

"Hmm. With all these silos is there a rodent problem?"

"No, Watchit and her progeny pretty much take care of that issue."

"Watchit?"

"Barn owl. Jeremiah saved it from a cat when it was just a chick and hand raised it. The crazy thing stayed wild even after the boys tried everything to tame it. They named it because even as a chick the bird wasn't shy about going for a finger or nose."

"Uh ... oh! Watch It. Watchit. Clever."

"They thought so. She's getting on up there in age for a barn owl but she'll still swoop down on you and bat you in the head with a wing for fun now and again when she's bored."

"Mmph! Ow! What the hell?!"

I turned to find him dancing around trying to detach something from his leg. "Yay!! You found him!! I thought he was lost forever. Now Cheeser stop it. Turn loose right now so I can hug you to bits and pieces you naughty kitty!" I detached the small, tail-less manx cat from Sloan's jeans and then proceeded to do what I had threatened.

"My god, is that thing actually purring?"

"Oh you just don't know. He's my kitty. He ran away during ... I thought maybe they'd gotten him like they did Boone. I was worried I'd just walk up and find his carcass where he'd crawled off and died. Or that maybe Watchit had gotten him. He's too small to be out at night." I was rubbing my nose in the small cat's fur and he sounded like a Diesel engine. I put him inside my overalls and he curled into a ball and finally stopped shaking.

Sloan rubbed his shin but didn't say anything so we visited the rest of the animals before heading back to the house. While I set a food dish and litter pan for Cheeser in the utility room Sloan went to check on his nephews. The old house carried some mumbled sounds from the room but Sloan didn't mention anything when he came back down. He did however say, "I understand if what happened has put you off what we talked about."

"No ... no we made a bargain."

"You sure?"

"Yeah ... just don't expect ..."

"Fireworks. You mentioned that." He took a breath like he was about to say something and then stopped. Turned to go then came back. "You never asked why I wasn't in the military."

"Oh ... I guess I ... well not everyone gets drafted."

"It wasn't because of that. I couldn't pass the physical."

I looked at him and just waited. "My back ... you ... well it will be dark so you won't see it but you ... you might feel it. I've got burns ... it compromised my flexibility. I tried every branch and none of them would take me."

"I haven't noticed if it has stopped you. You got up the stairs as fast as I did."

He nodded. "I just couldn't pass their one test where you have to be able to bend over to some degree or other. I couldn't do the number of situps they required either."

"Six packs are overrated. They actually look a little weird if you want to know the truth."

He choked on his spit and squawked, "What?"

"The sit up thing ... you do it to get six pack abs right? I just think they look a little creepy is all ... like a jigsaw puzzle where no jigsaw puzzle should be. And about the burns ... Dad had them too. It's why he was able to retire instead of having to stay another tour. It was his hands and up his forearms. Mom used to make him this liniment for when his hands would get sore or the skin too tight. I made it after she ... anyway, there's some in the utility room cabinet if you need it."

"Uh ... no ... no that's ok. So ... uh ... I'll just go finish unpacking my stuff and ... uh ... you ... you come in when you're ready."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 5​

I was thinking about the night as I cut out biscuits and thought that Hannah's books were totally off the mark. I'd never participated in something so embarrassing and strange in my entire life. I'm a farm girl so it isn't like I didn't know the facts of life but I'd honestly never really associated what I knew with what my personal reality would be. It didn't look like it brought too much peace of mind to Hannah who alternated between sighing over some boy to crying over some boy. And after Mom and Hannah died I just didn't have the time to worry about it; certainly didn't have any scope to experience any of it.

Sloan on the other hand seemed to get a lot out of it even though I just wasn't seeing the attraction myself. I think he tried to get me into the spirit of things but to be honest I kept getting caught between being totally wiggy and totally humiliated. Although there were a few times I was tempted to give into a fit of the giggles at the noises Sloan made. It sounded like a cross between the way a man sounds when he's been throwing hay bails all day and like our old bull sounded when he was getting lovesick for the company of one of the heifers.

I was wondering what the look on his face would have been if he had known what I was thinking when the man himself walked into the room and stopped short. Neither one of us knew quite what to say so of course my mouth took on a mind of its own. "The doctors must not have been very good at their job because I didn't notice that you had any flexibility problems last night."

As soon as the words left my lips I would have gladly jumped off the train trestle that crossed Armstrong Gulch. But apparently it wound up being the perfect thing to say because Sloan relaxed and smiled ... a real smile not just a teasing one to hide what he was thinking. He nodded and then sniffed the air. "Smells like ... wait, is that coffee?"

"Sort of. It's my grandmother's recipe. There's some real coffee beans in there but there's also parched and roasted roots and acorns. You might like it. Dad and my brothers did even after drinking that real stuff you can still get overseas. Breakfast will be ready in a minute. If you don't like it then we'll figure something else out. Are the boys up yet?"

"Actually ... well I left them sleeping until we ... er ... had a few minutes."

"For what?"

"Just ... just wanted to make sure ... oh hell, I feel like a twelve-year-old that's snuck into a look-and-see for the first time. Just tell me you're ok ... after last night."

"Oh. That. Well ... hmmm ... I've got a few kinks in places I didn't think you could get kinks in but they'll work out as the day goes by. Why? Do you have kinks too? I can get that liniment. You were breathing kinda hard last night. I never knew that it was supposed to be such a lot of work."

He looked at me then kinda flopped down on a bench at the breakfast table and put his head in his hands and started laughing. I asked, "What?"

"Nothing. Just ... are you always this blunt?"

"Well for heaven's sake ... you don't think I go around talking about this stuff to just anyone do you? And the only reason I'm talking about it with you now because you asked and well I thought ... I mean ... I've never been married. I don't know what is supposed to be off limits and what isn't. I guess I didn't ask but should have. Have you ever been married? Do you know what the rules are?"

He got serious and said, "Was once, when I was still young and stupid. It didn't work out and she left."

"Oh."

Quietly he said, "It was a long time ago Teaghan. I was barely twenty when it ended."

"You were still older than I am now."

He winced. "Don't remind me. I wasn't too happy when I found out how old you were. I can live with it though so long as you don't get all ..."

"All what?" I asked when he acted like he was rethinking what he had been going to say.

"Well ... silly, flighty, bored and wanting something else in life."

I thought about it for a moment and then said, "Hannah ... you know my sister. Anyway she used to get like that because she was cooped up on the farm after having already experienced dances and dating and things like that. She'd already had boys ask Dad if they could come sit on the porch with her or walk with her after church to get ice cream on the corner. She even worked in town for a bit and had a serious boyfriend before he got drafted. Mom noticed me watching her and wondering what was going on and she explained to me how it might have been better if Hannah hadn't had those experiences and then she wouldn't have realized she was missing anything when it had to be taken away for her own good. Well, I never had those experiences so ... I don't guess you can miss what you've never had, or so they say. And if I do get bored all I have to do is look around and find something to do ... it's not like we've got a shortage of chores that need doing. And if I do start to annoy you all you have to do is say something. I'd rather know and have a chance to fix it than not and suddenly have it blow up in my face. And stop looking at me like I'm some sort of puzzle ... I've got all my pieces, they sometimes just get a little rearranged."

He continued to look at me strangely for a moment and then nodded like he'd made up his mind about something. "You're alright, you know that Teaghan?"

"Well I hope I am. Why would you think I wasn't? You usually have to get to know someone before you can decide whether they're alright or not."

Sloan shook his head. "A man gets suspicious when things go too easy. You're making this a lot easier on me than I expected."

"Well, I agreed to the bargain. You agreed to the bargain. Kinda wrong of us to start complaining at this late date don't you think? I guess last night means we're really married and have to deal with all that comes with it. I don't know that we'll ever have things like my parents did giving how and why we're starting out, but I don't see any reason why we have to be too much worse off. You seem mostly nice and you've admitted that I'm alright too. So if we work at getting along ..." I ended with a shrug.

Sloan opened his mouth to say something but looked to the ceiling when it sounded like a herd of hogs had gotten upstairs somehow. Sloan shook his head and sighed. "They've been pulled pillar to post and it is going to take a while for them to come around. I'd hoped otherwise but after last night ..."

"Like I told you, my brothers could be awful hard headed too. Dad used to put them to work to exercise out the worst of it. Do you have chores for them?"

"Well that depends, what do you have to work on today?"

"Me?"

"Yep. If I get something out of this marriage you should too. And the sooner those two trouble makers realize how things are going to be from here on out the better for both of us. And that's a lot of biscuits."

I took the abrupt change in subject with grace and answered, "Well, we've still got flour from last year's wheat and just to be honest ... I'm no good at sweet talking and you said you don't like it anyway, and I'm no salesman, but I can cook and Dad and my brothers were usually less surly if their stomachs were full. I figure this is just my part to make things more peaceful around here. And on that subject, will your men be back anytime soon?"

"By lunch; they're meeting up with my other crew that just finished a job and will lead them here with the remainder of my stuff."

I swallowed. "How many?"

"Men? Call it an even two dozen." At the look on my face he smiled. "You won't have to do all of the cooking. Each team has a cook and they'll set up camp ... anything growing in that open field to the side of the road in?"

"No, it's fallow this year."

"OK, they'll set up their camps there and ... what is your face scrunched up about? Is there a problem?"

"No. Just trying to think what all they'll need. There's a bathroom out in the barn and there are the two in the house ..."

"They can use the one in the barn or ... er ... "

"Find a tree?"

"Yeah, something to that effect."

"OK, just make sure it isn't anywhere near the wells or pumps. And ..."

"Dan was saying something that there were several of both around but he didn't know if they worked. He tried to check but it looked like they were intentionally disconnected."

His statement was also a question so I explained, "We kept them that way unless we needed them, to keep people from stealing ... or spiking them."

"Trouble with vagrants?"

"On occasion. Or families or former soldiers looking for a place to land for a few days free of room and board. Dad always left the outer most rows of anything for people to glean but they sometimes decide they are owed more than what they have any right to. You probably know by now that the farm is surrounded by deep gullies on two sides, and backs up to a ridge on a third. Only easy way on and off the farm is by the front road. We've never had near the problem that that some have had but it does happen. It's also why we were mostly left alone during the War Between the States."

"Uh huh, telling me which side your family was on," he said with a grin.

"Actually according to the ledgers all the family wanted by then was to be left in peace by both sides but that obviously didn't happen. So anyway, what about cobblers?"

"Excuse me?"

"If I don't need to fix a full meal I can fix pans of cobblers. It would actually help me use up some of the fruit that is too ripe to can outright that I don't have room for in the freezers because of the meat in there ... there's rhubarb of course, but I also have peaches, cherries, and boysenberries that are getting soft. I mean ... I mean you have."

"Now don't get sensitive. You don't have to stop saying it a certain way just because things have changed. You do still live here."

"I just don't want to make a foolish mistake. I don't know what will set you off."

His brows drew down and he said, "Wondering what is going to set me off will for one. I'm not a monster."

"Of course not, you went out of your way to not scare me last night so that proves it. I just mean I don't know what your buttons are and I'd rather not find them out the wrong way and create a mess that didn't need making. If someone is going to push 'em let it be someone else and I'll sit back and observe so I don't make the same mistake."

He gave me another strange look and a chuckle and said, "And do you have any buttons?"

"Trampling things down that don't need to be trampled. Mud being drug in the house when boots could be taken off at the door. People turning their nose up at food or being wasteful of it."

"Well that was quick."

"Better that you know. I don't have a particularly bad temper, and for the life of me I can't imagine why I've talked so freely with you when I never have with anyone else ever, but Dad used to say that when I got busy I could be a little hard to have a conversation with because either I was stringing too many words together or only spitting out one or two at a time. I'll have to get used to you and ... oh my gosh ... what are their names? I haven't even asked a thing about them. You must think my wits have gone begging. Oh Lord, I really am losing my mind ... and the biscuits are burning on top of it."

I remembered to grab the oven mitt before I did serious damage and sighed in relief to see the bottom of the biscuits were golden instead of dark. While Sloan ate a biscuit that was legitimately too hot to handle and told me the boys' names were Silas and Sid and that they were nine and eleven, I slid the rest of the finished biscuits on a platter, put them in the warming tray and put the next two sheets of biscuits to cook. I also tested the skillet I had on the stove top and it was ready to be greased and the scrambled eggs poured in. In another skillet I set slices of country ham to cook. I also poured Sloan a cup of what we called coffee and asked him if he doctored his or drank it black.

"Black usually." He took a careful sip of the hot brew and then tip the cup in my direction to let me know it was good enough as is.

I was relieved. I'd made coffee that way my whole life and was thankful that would be one less thing I would have to change and learn to do a new way.

I finished breakfast and plated it up while Sloan argued with the boys about washing their hands after they had made a sullen appearance. When it looked like they were set on making a scene I told them, "Your hands may look clean to you but germs are so small you can't see them with the naked eye and they still manage to kill people every day. So if you want to eat, you'll go wash. I do not think your uncle wants to spoil his meal thinking about all the nasties that could be flowing down your throat while he is trying to eat like a civilized man." I got a lot of eye rolling but won the battle when I set Sloan's plate before him and continued to refuse to serve them. They didn't do it with any grace but at least they did it which I figured was a point for me.

Sloan went back to discussing what we'd been on about before. "What's on the list to be done today?"

"More than I can get done. I'm running behind."

Silas sat back down at the table and asked, "Are you lazy that you can't get your work done?"

Sloan growled under his breath but I asked Silas, "No. Are you?"

"No!"

"Hmmm. I'll guess we'll see if that is true or not because your uncle says you'll have jobs today."

Both boys turned to Sloan in comical horror. Sloan grinned evilly and said, "Yep."

 

[john70]

great,,,,,,,,,,looking forward to chapter 22

this is a very nice story

be a nice one to add to

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 6​

"You the new Mrs.?"

I just stood there like a post and slowly edged in front of the boys so that the man in front of me didn't have a clear line on them. Just because a man has some gray in his hair doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. I knew that from Dad. The boys tried to run at the man but I jerked them back.

"Hey! What's the idea?! Turn loose!"

Then there was a piercing whistle and Sid turned to me and griped, "I'm gonna tell Uncle Sloan. He don't like anyone man handling us."

I still didn't say a word - or turn them loose - and was eyeing the stranger who suddenly called, "Over here Boss!"

Sloan walked into the orchard with a smile on his face but it wilted a bit when he took in the scene. He came over and said calmly, "Teaghan, this is Dan ... Dan Cummins. He's the Site Coordinator for the business and a damn fine one at that."

Remembering the name I said, "Dan ... he can restore almost anything."

"That's right, I told you about him last night. He's already looked at those bookcases and said they aren't as bad as they look and he can have them fixed before nightfall."

I started to relax and realized I still had a death grip on the boys collars. I had managed to embarrass myself again. Mumbling a hasty apology I told them all, "I'll leave you to your business." But when I tried to make my escape Sloan startled me by putting an arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"C'mon. Let me introduce you to everyone. They don't bite, I promise."

I could feel Dan staring so I did my best not to make more of a fool of myself but it was strange to have some man's arm around me like Dad used to do with Mom. I felt like I was playacting and decided Sloan must be too, trying to put everyone at ease.

The boys tried to complain about how I'd been working them to death and then nearly strangled them on top of it. Sloan told them, "You don't seem near death's door to me and a little work never hurt anyone."

"A little work?! Uncle Sloan we've been carrying baskets ALL MORNING LONG! How much longer do we have to do what she says? She's a ... a slave driver!"

They sounded so much like my brothers used to when they were younger that I had to smile. But Sid spoiled it by snarling, "What are you laughing at Ugly? You can't ..."

POP!

Sloan had popped the boy square in the mouth, not hard enough to do damage I could see but definitely to make an impression. "I hear you talking to her like that again and you'll think last night was a sweet dream!"

Sid and Silas both got mean and mulish expressions on their faces as we all stopped half way between the orchard and the house. I sighed. "Honestly, I'm starting to think that you are even more hard headed than my brothers were and I didn't think anyone could be that bad. Look you two, I'm not asking you to love me to bits and pieces 'cause frankly you aren't exactly all that lovable to me right now. I'm not sure I even care if you like me or not. But whatever beef you've dreamed up in your heads get over it and take the time to see I might have some good points. Things don't have to be as rough as you are trying to make them for your uncle."

"Ain't trying to make them rough for Uncle Sloan. We just want you to go away you heifer."

Sloan had raised his hand again but I put mine on his forearm to forestall what the boys were just begging for. Instead I shook my head at the them. "Well I'm not going. I made a contract with your uncle. A legal one. And I don't break my word. If you want to keep making yourselves out to be donkey's behinds I really can't stop you but I will warn you that you aren't going to have your way so in the end, all you are doing is going to make your own selves miserable when you could be having some fun with all this."

"Oh yeah right."

"Fine. Think but you want. But until you two stop acting like a couple of little jerks I'm not making you any of my pies and I'm not going to tell you where all my brothers' best secret spots are. And I know them all 'cause I spied on them and they never even knew I was around. Granted, you might be able to find a few on your own but you won't find the best ones without my help. And when you see how much your uncle likes my cooking you'll wish you had behaved a little better too. I will also laugh my butt off when you run into Watchit or some of the other surprises around here all for lack of a little warning."

Sid said, "Don't care about your cooking, you're probably just going to poison us. Don't care about your dumb ol' brothers dumb ol' secret places either. And this place doesn't belong to you anymore." But Silas followed up with a cautious, "Who's Watchit? That's a dumb name."

I ignored Sid though his words had been too close to being hurtful and told Silas, "So says you. But trust me, the name fits."

Sloan was angry. I was thinking maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and given the boys less ammo but at the time that wasn't my way. Sloan's arm fell from my waist and I stepped back as he marched the boys to the porch leaving me uncomfortably alone with the man called Dan.

He said, "The boys ain't at their best."

I shrugged.

"They've had it rough and this ... er ... situation has caught most of us off guard."

I nodded. "Wasn't exactly how I saw my life happening either," I told him before sealing my lips again against any more potential foolishness.

There were a couple of men on the porch already. In fact there were men all over the place and I could feel a panic attack coming on. I tried to back up but Sloan stepped off the porch and called me over. "Teaghan!"

I squared my shoulders and tried to walk bravely into the lion's den and I think Sloan somehow sensed it 'cause some of the heat left his eyes. "I want to introduce you. The sooner you get to know who belongs and who doesn't the less jumpy you'll feel. You've already met Dan." I nodded. "Well these two men here are Charlie and Duncan ... they're the camp cooks."

It nearly turned me cross eyed when they said, "Ma'am." I felt my face grow hot and for some reason it was easier to take the closer I was to Sloan. I almost wanted to hide behind him but he turned and drew me forward.

To the men who had suddenly gathered all around Sloan said, "I explained the situation and told you what put us here. Give Teaghan some space to get to know you, she's had a rough time and hasn't been used to having more than her father and brothers around for a while now."

I glanced up at Sloan and realized he was trying to be nice. I felt ashamed of being a coward and that's something I'd never thought I was. I squared my shoulders, straightened my spine, and though I couldn't look at anyone of them square in the face I said, "How do you do? I'm sorry we're meeting for the first time under such ... er ... unusual circumstances. Would anyone care for some cool apple juice? Or water? I put some jars of tea brewing for supper but it should be ready by now if you'd prefer that."

Charlie stepped forward and said, "Water would be fine. Leave the tea for what you planned it for. This lot ain't that particular. But if you've got a moment, Boss said there might be some things out of the garden we can use to feed the crew with so we can stay out of our supplies."

I looked at Sloan and he nodded. "Some will have to be used to feed the men. Burdock might be expecting that he keeps getting as much as he has in the past but our needs and the company's need come first. Foolish to trade off only to have to purchase more."

Nodding my understanding. "OK. But ... um ..." Dad and the boys would have listened to my reasoning but I wasn't really sure what my place was. Sloan looked at me like he was waiting so I took a breath and said, "Well, to avoid foolishness how about using what has come in a bumper first?" I turned to the men Charlie and Duncan and said, "I've got a hundred-foot row of turnips and their tops that are ready. My brothers used to take a truck to the farmer's market once a week and could get rid of the whole load but ..." I shrugged and stopped trying to think in that direction, of how things would change even if no one meant for it to hurt me. "And there's rows and rows of potatoes that need to be dug before too much longer that can be boiled while the greens are cooking. And if you are going to be working you'll need some protein so how about for supper I pull out a roast and cut it into stew chunks and bring up some quarts of hominy and a man-sized hominy stew can be made. I'll throw in a strawberry and rhubarb cobbler and for those that might not like that I can make a peach cobbler."

Charlie's bushy eyes were up in his hairline but Duncan piped up and said, "Save the taters for tomorrow, too hot to be digging out a hill at a time today. If the turnips are sweet we'll bake 'em and mash 'em."

"I ate one raw just like an apple day before yesterday to save heating up the house in the middle of the day."

Duncan smiled and nodded like he approved and when they asked me to point them in the direction I decided to show them since it would be easier. Sloan followed and stayed at my side after assigning the boys to Dan who proceeded to put them to work emptying one of the many storage trucks parked along the road. It was strange but made me feel safe at the same time to find Sloan's arm on my waist once again.

We came to the turnip field and Charlie whistled. "Sweet mother of God, that's a lot o' turnips."

"My brothers made some of their extra spending money off the turnips every year. I'm sure that if they even are thinking of what they were forced to leave behind they'll just be happy they aren't going to waste." I turned away, once again caught off guard by how much it hurt to realize I'd never see the two oversized pains in my backside ever again. Being ten years older than me they had been both brothers and second fathers in their own way.

I stepped away to stare at the trunk of a tree and try and compose myself while the men talked with Sloan. It finally penetrated that I heard buzzing and looked to see the beehives that Jeremiah had set up were battling with something that had crawled up into the box.

"Lovely," I said after spotting the snakes tail hanging out of the entryway. "Just flaming lovely. Ticked off bees and a ticked off snake." Mumbling and grumbling about stupid snakes that didn't have the brains God gave a stump I drew my glove onto my left hand and pulled my pistol out of my holster with my right. I turned to look at the men and chirped a whistle to get their attention and when I had it I told them, "Hold your ears."

I reached over, grabbed the snake's tail pulled slow until it was most of the way out then gave a yank and a throw. I shot as it went flying and saw with no small amount of personal satisfaction that the body went one way and the head, what was left of it, went another. I stepped over to make sure that I had identified it correctly and nodded with with yet more satisfaction. Sloan came over at a run and then snapped, "What the devil?"

"Young rattler. Might have been after a mouse or something. We had a population explosion of them last year when some brainless wonder introduced them to take care of the rats in his silos. I'd druther he'd gotten cats ... cats you can at least fix to control the population. None dare show their face around the barns and such ... Watchit makes sure of that ... but we started finding them in the gulley and in the fence rows this spring. They've turned into a nuisance."

Charlie chuckled and said, "Ma'am I don't think he was talking about the snake so much as your shootin'."

I turned to Sloan wide-eyed wondering if he thought it was improper for a female to carry a gun. "Uh ... mmm ... er ..."

Sloan just kept looking at me while Duncan said, "You're mighty damn quick."

"Oh. Well. Dad and my brothers ... they were soldiers ... they said that if I was going to carry that I had to learn to shoot because they didn't want to have to pick a stray one out of their backside." I shrugged uncomfortably and added, "They kinda rode me until I was as proficient as they thought I needed to be."

Sloan put his hands on his hips and snorted. "If that's just proficient I'd hate to see what they considered real talent." Not sure how to take what he said I just kept silent and then slowly, even though it nearly killed me, offered him my revolver.

He took it and looked it over. I knew it wasn't exactly the prettiest gun ever made, it was the one my grandmother used to carry and was older than Dad had been, but Dad had carved new insets for the handle for my sixteenth birthday and it felt like an extension of my hand when I held it. When Sloan handed it back to me I almost couldn't believe it and some of the relief must have shown in my face because he asked, "Family heirloom?"

"Uh ... from my grandmother. It was hers. She gave it to me when her arthritis made shooting it too painful. I was nine but Mom wouldn't let me carry it regular until I turned twelve."

Charlie's chuckle turned into an outright laugh and he said, "Oh you're gonna fit in just fine." He nudged Duncan who joined in the laugh and then said they were going to go back and get a wagon.

Sloan and I followed more slowly and as soon as the other men were out of earshot I asked quietly, "Was he being sarcastic? About me fitting in?"

"No," he answered and then placed his arm at my waist again. "I suppose I should be grateful that you didn't shoot me yesterday."

Remembering I grimaced. "Sorry."

"I'm not. I am however glad you got over your fright as quickly as you did. I hope you'll do the same with the men. Some of them are rough around the edges but we've all worked together for years now and I can testify that there's not a bad egg among 'em."

"Oh ... I'll ... I'll do my best."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 7​

It was dark and I sat on the floor of the utility room trying to make sure no one heard me. There were strangers all over the house and my heart ached so bad I'd had to escape to the only place I could go that wouldn't wake anyone up. I'd almost slipped down to the cellar until I remembered that the door had started squeaking again because Jeremiah had forgotten to do something about the hinges. So I had gathered Cheeser into my arms and just let my misery flow.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a voice in the dark said, "That cat is the calmest of its species I've ever seen. He's nearly as wet as if he'd been given a bath and yet he's just letting you squeeze the air out of him."

I tried to hide what I'd been doing and get up but instead Sloan sat on the floor with me. "Did I hurt you this time Teaghan? Or scare you? Be honest."

I sniffed and said, "No."

"Did one of the men upset you? Was it the boys?"

"No and no. I'm sorry I woke you. I ..." and then the tears started again and I couldn't turn them off.

"Teaghan I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."

Not being in a state of mind to even wonder why he would want to I told him, "No one can ever fix it. You can't bring people back from the dead." Then I laid my head on Cheeser and told him, "I want my Dad. I miss my brothers too and your nephews act just like they sometimes did when they were younger and it hurts to remember that but it makes me want Dad even worse; he always knew how to handle them. I want Dad so bad I can't stand it. It's not the same as when Gram and Mom and Hannah died ... they were so sick and hurt so bad it was a relief when they went. There was no room in the hospital so we took care of them here at home, I took care of them and got to tell them good bye. I never got to say bye to Dad. We were all in such a hurry that morning. We just gave each other a quick hug and then he was gone. I can still see them ... Dad driving and the boys riding shotgun because the trucks going to market sometimes get mobbed. They died in such a mean and evil way. And now he'll never hug me again. And I'll never see him again to tell him anything much less I love him. He'll never be around to laugh or tell me I did good on something or even for me to hear his snores to let me know even though he was asleep he was nearby if I needed him. And when you started snoring after we did ... you know ... I just couldn't take it anymore because it was just one more thing. So please ... let me alone for awhile. There's nothing anyone can do to make this better and I just gotta get someplace inside myself that I can live with it. Just like I did when everyone else died and I got left behind."

I just sat there in my misery but I must have fallen asleep at some point. Only I didn't wake up on the utility room floor like you would expect but in the bed I'd been sharing with Sloan. It was just as dark outside as it had been but I sensed it was early morning and time to start the coffee. I tried to ease out of the bed but Sloan's arm came around me and he asked almost right in my ear, "You feeling better?"

Not sure what to say except be honest I answered, "I'm feeling ashamed. I wish you hadn't seen me. Please don't tell anyone."

"Why would I tell anyone your business or mine for that matter?" he asked softly.

"I don't know, just please don't."

"I won't." I heard him sigh. "I keep forgetting how young you are. You shouldn't have had to lose your father like that."

"I don't think it matters how old you are. I remember when Mom's dad died. I was little but I still remember it. It was awful. He had a heart attack while he was driving and him and one of mom's brothers died when the car veered off the road and hit a tree. But it wasn't so much how they died as that Mom loved her daddy a lot. He was the one that raised her and her brothers after her mom couldn't handle her life and left when Mom was little. We called her dad Grampy and he was pretty cool; he even knew how to bake cookies though sometimes they came out kinda flat and hard like frisbees. And then when the flu took Dad's dad ... he had to go sign all the papers at the hospital and everything. It was only the second time I'd seen Dad cry ... the first time was when my brothers came back from the war all in one piece. By the time Mom and Hannah died I'd seen him cry too many times but never when he thought people could see him. He let me be there but no one else."

My nose was getting stuffy and my chest tight so I stopped talking. I tried to sit up and when I did Sloan sat up with me. "You don't have to get up right now if you don't want to."

I shook my head. "And do what? Lay around feeling sorry for myself? I did enough of that last night. I ... I don't even know ... I mean how did I get here?"

"I carried you."

"Oh gawd."

"No need to get blasphemous. You aren't that heavy."

I turned trying to see his face and he kissed me full on. We'd done what married people do but he hadn't kissed me on my mouth very much. When he stopped I didn't know what to say.

"Teaghan ... look, you don't need to go crawl in a hole if you need to cry. Let me make it not so lonely for you."

I shook my head. "Why would you want to do that? You don't even know me."

He sighed. "No though that is a strange thing to say after what we've been doing. All I know is this is turning out to be easier and harder than I ever thought it could be. But you were asking about what the rules of marriage are and this is one of them. When one of us hurts it’s the duty of the other not to just run away and ignore it. Now just come here for a minute. I might not be able to fix it but I can at least let you know I won't run away from it and leave you to face it all alone."

He drug us both back down on the bed and he held me. I was getting distracted by the sound of his heart under my ear when there was a loud bang on the ceiling above us. I jumped and Sloan growled. "I'm gonna ..."

"You know this is a war don't you?" I sensed Sloan looking at me in the dark so I explained. "It's a war of wills. They don't like that we are trying to make lemonade out of the lemons life has handed us. They want us to be as miserable as they are apparently feeling. If we can outlast them we'll win."

As another bang came from the ceiling Sloan got out of bed and started pulling his jeans on. "What the hell are they doing?"

"Sounds like they've found the spot in the hallway that runs right across the top of this room and are dropping the big dictionary trying to make you mad."

"Trying? They sure as heck have succeeded."

"Ignore them, don't give them the attention they are trying to get ... they want your attention on them and them alone and they'll take it anyway they can get it. Instead work them hard today. They'll be paying for getting up so early and hopefully fall asleep before they can do much mischief tonight."

My eyes had adjusted to the dark and I could just make out the wicked look on Sloan's face. "You know, I like the way you think. If they thought moving baskets and a few boxes around yesterday was work, let's see how those limbs of satan feel about stacking bricks and cinder blocks."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 8​

"Sid, Silas? Have you fin ... er ..."

I walked into the dining room to find the boys literally asleep in their empty plates and Sloan and Dan looking very satisfied if tired.

"Well, I guess it was a good thing I hadn't gotten around to plating up their dessert. You want me to get them up or leave them alone?"

Sloan got a wicked grin on and then whistled a sound piercing enough to make both Shotgun and Cheeser give him disgusted looks from the doorway. The boys jumped out of their plates and I could see that both had gravy in their ears. I sighed. "Bed time boys."

They tried to get mulish but their yawns spoiled the effect. I watched them go up the stairs to make sure they actually got there and noticed they only stopped long enough for Shotgun to lick their faces clean. I shook my head thinking once again how like my brothers they could be and then turned and asked Sloan if they wanted anything else from the kitchen like a glass of milk to wash the cobbler down with.

Dan looked at Sloan hopefully so he told me, "That and when you come back can you bring the ledger you showed me? And the one from this time last year if it is easy to get to?"

I did that and was turning to leave when Sloan stopped me and asked me to sit down and help them decipher the postings. "Nothing to decipher; all the entries should be self-explanatory. We always made sure things were clear in case we had to deal with a tax man. My grandfather had trouble of that sort before I was born so the family was kind of a stickler about it. The farm receipts are in filing cabinets up in the attic if you want those too."

Dan moaned and I thought something was wrong until I saw he was smiling and had a terribly silly look on his face like a lovesick hound. I looked a question at Sloan who was grinning and shaking his head. "Don't worry about Dan, he's just happy. You've made our next few weeks a lot easier."

"How so?" I asked finally getting curious despite my personal vow to stay out of it so I wouldn't get my feelings bunched up.

"Burdock - and through him the BOCC - are asking for an accounting."

I sighed. "You know I like Mr. Burdock, and I hope I'm not out of line here, but the one and only time I ever heard Dad say something that was aggravated about him was that Mr. Burdock likes to be too deep into people's private business."

Both men nodded. "No denying it. The man does like to know what is going on and give advice. But in this case what they are doing is taking an account of the farm's value and then they'll expect another one this time next year to compare it to."

"What for?"

Dan said, "They haven't exactly said. I think it is mostly a power trip."

Sloan shook his head, "Feels more like a threat."

I asked, "You mean like an 'or else' kind of thing? Keep things going like we want them to or else?"

Sloan nodded. I felt my first niggling of unease. I thought I'd only have to deal with losing the farm once but it sounded like there was something more going on.

I muttered, "He wants the tobacco I suppose. That's what he was after last year."

Sloan and Dan looked at each other in some silent communication. Sloan asked, "Your father and Burdock were friends?"

"Of a sort. They served together early in the war. Dad was real young ... I think he was still a Private. Mr. Burdock was only a little older but he was an officer ... Dad still ... I mean used to ... call him LT when they were joking around."

Sloan nodded. Dan opened the ledger for both years and started comparing them and then said, "Whooowee Boss. I thought I'd be having to furlough the men next month but if things compare we'll be struggling for them to have their annual time off. Lord ... have ... mercy." He looked at me in surprise and asked, "And your father and brothers handled this all by themselves?"

"I helped ... and Mom and Hannah before that. My grandparents were also around and part of things but my grandfather had a little dementia and could only work sometimes. All of them going and me being the only extra helper is why I have to do things a little different. I'll harvest and prep the stuff we keep but won't get to preserve all of it until things slow down towards the end of September and into October though that is when the apples are coming in strong and the cider press seems to be going all day."

Dan wanted to know, "What do you mean prep rather than preserve?"

"I use the big freezers and coolers. We used to have a lot more cows so have - I mean you have - a big walk in cooler that kept the milk before it went to the market. Same with eggs and hog meat. But Dad had started to cut back on the animals so that we could grow all of our own feed instead of having to purchase it so we hadn't needed the big coolers so much. Then when Mom and Hannah and Gram were taken by the virus or flu or whatever they are calling it now I kept getting behinder and behinder. I was getting frustrated and so was Dad and the boys. Then I figured out how to just prep stuff until I had more time to actually can things up. Dad and the boys thought it was a fine idea and even re-built the big dehydrator so that I can move the drying trays without help. Josiah knows what it is because he asked if I needed it cleaned out before the apples start coming in. You might actually want to talk to him about things. He might not be able to tie his own shoes but he seems to know up from down and left from right when it comes to things on a farm."

Sloan said, "You seem to have taken to Josiah awful quick."

"Taken to him? What's that mean?"

Dan nudged Sloan and gave him a look then smiled and said, "I think he probably means about like you've taken to Charlie and Duncan."

"Oh. Well I ... they're nice actually. They don't get in my space, don't track dirt in when they come to see if I have some seasoning or an extra pitcher or what have you and they definitely know what they're doing when it comes to stretching groceries and I like that. With Josiah I suppose it is because he reminds me of a boy I knew when I still went to school. He got kicked in the head by a horse when he was little and it did something to him. He was really good at measuring and building but ask him to do almost anything else and it hurt to watch him try. And I ... well ... the rest of the men are kinda ok I guess but I wish they wouldn't mob me when all I do is bring a platter of cookies down to the trestle tables after lunch. It was like watching chickens squabble over the corn ... and just as noisy too." I looked at Sloan to find a surprised look on his face and I asked worriedly, "Did my mouth run away again?"

Sloan slowly smiled and said, "No. Mine did." I didn't understand then and didn't have time to ask because he went on. "Did your father ever hire extra help?"

"Sometimes my cousins would come for a summer job but not since ... for a while I guess - time is kinda running together for me but it should be easy to find in the ledgers ... it was before the virus swept through. As far as I know none of my family is left ... not close family ... but there might still be a few in Florida but they'd be 2nd or 3rd cousins to me ... and by marriage at that. If you are looking for someone that knows more about the farm than I do I'm sorry, there just isn't anyone. And as for hiring outside the family occasionally Dad would let someone exchange work for a meal or two and a place to flop but there hasn't been much of that since Mr. Burdock has set those patrols to keep vagrants from the bigger cities from overrunning the area like they almost did right after Cease Fire One. Some still come around but they're mostly of the homegrown variety ... family has kicked them out, evictions, that sort of thing. Dad used to get irritated because people were always talking about being hard up for jobs but the few times he did want to hire anyone no one wanted to do field work ... or they wanted an arm and leg and Jezebel's crown for doing it."

Both men expressed their understanding and they asked questions for about another hour before I said, "I'm sorry but I really do need to go check on the animals before it gets too much darker and then finish up the kitchen."

Sloan looked outside in surprise and then consternation. "I meant to do that."

"Why? It isn't something your used to doing and you have your business stuff to take care of." I left before he could treat me like I was breakable again. He'd been doing it off and on all day and it was embarrassing and reminded me of what he'd caught me doing the previous night.

It didn't take as long as I had expected because Josiah had already done it, even the milking. He'd grown up on a farm before getting drafted and he had told me the animals were restful to him. After I saw how the cow with a crumpled horn took to him I knew he knew what he was doing but Dad had taught me never to take anything for granted so I checked anyway.

Back in the kitchen I finished up what I had started and was drying the last pan to put it away when I remembered there were still dishes in the dining room. I looked at the nasty water in the sink and knew I'd have to start over with clean wash water. I put a kettle on the stove to heat to boiling rather than drain it out of the cranky hot water tank as I wanted to rinse my hair before bed.

I peeked around the door and saw the men had moved to the office. I shook my head and hoped they'd put all of the ledgers they had out back themselves, grabbed the dishes, and got them to the kitchen. The men had practically licked their plates clean so wash up was fairly easy and left me time to do my hair.

I decided it was safer to take my bathing stuff and use the upstairs bathroom and was doing just that when someone suddenly got into the shower with me. I nearly shrieked and would have except for the hand over my mouth. Sloan had what I came to learn was "the look" in his eyes and whispered, "Best way to save water known to man."

I did manage to get my hair rinsed but just barely. The tub was not at all meant for two grown sized people to be in it at the same time but Sloan didn't seem to care. I was getting used to him wanting to do things all the time but it seemed every new experience was just one more way I found out how to be embarrassed, certainly having the light on was disconcerting. The only thing that got him calmed down was when the hot water ran out. His back had been to the spray and it was with some satisfaction that I saw it was his turn to nearly shriek. In fact it gave me the giggles something awful.

We both scrambled out and I was trying to hurry but when you are wet clothes just don't want to go on quickly. He was grumbling and struggling with his own clothes and my eyes happen to accidentally glance and see his backside and he still had goosebumps from the cold water. Well that set me off again and this time I couldn't hide it.

"Why you little ... I finally see a laugh and it's because ..." He mocked growled real quiet and for some reason that was funny too. I finally made it out the bathroom door and back down the stairs and into the room after grabbing a change of clothes for the next day from my old room. I was still snorting and hiccuping because the giggles are horrible things, once they attack all you can do is ride them out.

I was biting my lips trying really hard not to keep giggling when I heard Sloan open the door. "And you're still at it!" he said. I turned quick because he sounded mad only when I looked at his face I could see he wasn't. He did however have two of my dresser drawers in his hands.

"Hey! That's my clothes!"

"I know they are."

"But why'd you ... I mean ... "

"Marriage Rule #2 ... when you share a room you share the whole room." He put the drawers on the bed and then walked to the chiffarobe and pulled open the cabinet and then the two bottom drawers. He was picking up my clothes and was about to dump them in when I realized with absolute mortifying horror that it was my underthings drawer.

"Wait! Stop that!" I told him trying to take the white cotton unmentionables away from him. "No ... oh Sloan stop. This will just get in the way of your stuff."

He was holding things up out of my reach and i poked him in the side like I had my brothers when they were pulling the same prank but I guess he hadn't been expecting it at all and everything came tumbling down when he scrunched up in surprise. "Oh look what you've done. No wait! Don't look. Close your eyes right now!"

I was scrambling around trying to grab everything and wad it up so he couldn't see when he picked something up off the floor and I nearly died. "Teaghan, if it is all the same to you could you never wear this?"

I jerked the barely used nightgown out of his hands and told him, "Don't worry, it's too small ... most of what I have is. Now close your eyes."

"Nope. What do you mean most of what you have is too small."

I looked at him like he must have trouble hearing. "I mean most of what I have is too small. Now stop it and give that back."

"OK, Miz Literal ... why is most of what you have too small."

"Because I don't know who would have died of embarrassment more, me or Dad or my brothers if I had asked them to pick me up this sort of thing in town ... not to mention the one time I did tell them I needed a new nightgown they came back with that monstrosity. I mean I never even played with Barbies that was Hannah's thing when she was little and it is pink ... flamingo glow in the dark pink ... and it doesn't even fit ... it is too tight through the ... er ... shoulders. They didn't even look at what they bought, just told the sales lady they needed something for a little girl. Little. I was sixteen. It was awful but they looked so pleased with themselves ..."

Suddenly I wasn't laughing but was in danger of doing the opposite. I turned away but didn't get far because Sloan pulled me into his arms and whispered, "The rules of marriage remember? This is rule number one."

"You made that up."

"Nope. Well ... it may not have a number but that is most definitely a rule."

"Really?" I asked peeping up at him.

"Really," he told me so solemnly I was suspicious all over again.

I pushed him away, though not very hard, and went back to picking up the stuff that had gotten scattered all over. Sloan sat on the bed and asked, "Aside from the fact that your father and brothers have hideous taste in women's clothing is there some reason for most of your clothes to be too small?"

I sighed and almost called him a knucklehead but saw he was serious. It was obvious that he'd been missing out on certain realities of life. "Sloan, how was I supposed to go to town and pick out clothes? You know how things are. Females of any age can't go places without nearly having a bodyguard. We stopped even going to church because my brothers were always getting in fights because they thought someone was looking at me. I mean it was kinda that way before the virus - Hannah had it really bad with the boys being so mean, especially after they got back stateside - but at least Dad used to tell them to knock it off. After the virus killed so many Dad actually told the boys to do more of it and no one was to get close enough to even share the same breathing space as me. I mean literally. It just became not worth it. I was able to salvage some of Hannah's and Mom's stuff but I'm built different than they are ... er ..."

"Er what?"

"Different. Oh for heaven's sake ... you know they were kind of well ... pear-ish and I'm built more like Gram's side of the family ... not ... pear-ish."

He got a wicked look on his face and I was getting all out of patience. "Oh geez. Just move so I can put this stuff someplace else."

"Nope. Pick out what you want to keep and slide the rest under the bed. And hand me my note pad and pencil off the dresser."

I tossed it at him and tried to turn so he couldn't see what I was doing. It was at that moment I realized how dismally small a space my keepers actually took up. I'd patched and stitched things up as best I could - everyone had to these days unless they were made of money - but suddenly I was self-conscious. I slammed the drawer shut when I realized Sloan was looking over my shoulder.

I stood up and tried to back out but he pulled me over to the bed. "I like to look Teaghan."

I closed my eyes and tried to stick my fingers in my ears. "TMI Sloan ... definitely TMI."

He gently pulled my fingers out and held my hands in his. "Stop that. I mean I like to look ... at you. I'm your husband and you're my wife. And I ... like ... to ... look."

"You are so strange. I never know when you are going to act like those men in Hannah's books and when you aren't."

"OK, Marriage Rule #3 ... stop thinking about what those fictional men were like and start knowing what I'm like. And let me know what you are like."

"Uh ..."

"You've already told me you aren't too fond of pink. What about other colors ... what do you like?"

"I don't know. Why on earth are you asking for?"

"Because I am. Now what is your favorite color? Red, Blue, Yellow ... Purple?"

"I don't really have a favorite ... I guess maybe green. Yeah, I like green."

"Green? OK ... what about flowers? You like flowers or anything else in particular?"

"I'm not particular. Why? Do you like flowers?"

He chuckled. "Sometimes. They're useful on occasion."

"Uh huh ... probably to get you what you want. Salesmen used to give pots of flowers to Mom too."

"Like I said ... they can be useful on occasion. What about lace?"

"Lace? Are you serious? Are you playing a game with me?"

"No ... like I said, I'm trying to find out what you are like ... and what you like."

"Well you're doing it in a strange way ... and ... and your hands are just ... busy. Aren't you tired?"

"Nope. Now, what have you got against lace?"

"I don't have anything against lace ... it just isn't all that practical. And it's expensive. And it itches."

"OK ... you like practical and non itchy."

"Oh now I know you're playing some kind of game. Stop making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun Teaghan," he said. "I'm having fun. There's a difference. And I want you to have fun too."

There was no getting any sense out of him after that ... not for a lot longer than you'd think a man would take after working all day but eventually he did fall to sleep. It took a lot longer for me. Sloan's marriage rules made me want to think too much.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 9​

"Well Teaghan, how is married life treating you?"

I turned around to find Mr. Burdock and a couple of his men blocking the light coming in through the barn door. I must have blushed because the men all snickered but Mr. Burdock told them to hush, that I was a good girl.

"I was disappointed to see that no one from the farm was at the market today."

"You'll have to speak with Mister about that. They're busy doing the accounting you asked for."

"Are they now. That's helpful to know. Most people don't seem to take that as seriously as the Board means for it to be taken."

I shook my head. "No sir, it was the topic of conversation at the dinner table last night every time I was in there."

"You don't eat with the menfolk?"

"Well ... I mean I did but there were the boys and then Mister and Mr. Dan that works for Mister."

Mr. Burdock nodded though I hadn't a clue what he was nodding about. I asked, "Would you care for some water or some tea Sir?"

Mr. Burdock smiled and I suddenly noticed how white his teeth were. "That would be fine Teaghan, real fine. Why don't you run along and do that and I'll hunt Sloan up myself."

I inched my way around the men and then walked as fast as I could without looking like I was running. Mr. Burdock on his own was ok but I can't say I liked his snickering men too much then or any other times either. I ran into Josiah and grabbed his arm. "Find Sloan would you? Mr. Burdock is looking for him."

"I know where he is. You might wanna stay in the house after this. Gonna be some strange men coming and going and you don't seem to care for that."

"I don't so thanks for the warning."

I had the tea poured and was bringing it out to the back porch when I heard steps coming up the front and turned that way instead. I peeked out the window and saw Sloan not looking too happy but trying to be polite about it. I stood at the screen door until Dan saw me and poked Sloan. He looked my way and I lifted the tray and looked a question at him. He nodded and I slid out the door and put the tray on the table next to the porch chairs and then went to go back inside but didn't make it.

"Teaghan, why didn't you tell Sloan it was Market Day and that your family always brought a truck? One week was understandable since it was only you and you were grieving but two missed deliveries? We had people expecting goods from this farm to fill their orders."

I swallowed never having heard that particular tone of censure from Mr. Burdock. "I ... I ... um ... I thought Mister would be busy taking care of his business first. It's not … not my place to say what ... I mean ..."

Sloan interrupted and said, "Go in the house Teaghan."

I jumped at the chance and bolted inside not caring if it looked like I was running or not. I grabbed Cheeser and went down to the basement where it was cool and quiet. I'd been trying not to think of milestones like this ... two weeks since Dad and my brothers had been taken away ... but I should have thought about Market Day if for no other reason than the salesman in Sloan would have wanted to know.

I got myself under control and started turning cheese wheels to give my hands something useful to do until my brain could catch up. After that I set a few crates of jars by the stairs to take up and wash. Josiah had told me that he thought some of the cabbages would need to be picked tomorrow so I decided to can some slaw first thing. I also needed to replenish the supply of maraschino cherries so that I could use up the last of the peaches and pears to make fruit cocktail with later in the month. I started marking off things in my head that needed to be done and I got that same old sinking feeling I did every time I realized that there simply wasn't enough time in the day to do what needed doing.

I heard a conspiratorial whisper and looked up at the head of the stairs to see the two boys whispering as if they didn't know I was there. "She's in trouble now. She embarrassed Uncle Sloan."

"You think he'll spank her?"

"Don't be stupid, big girls don't get spanked. But he might slap her if she runs her stupid mouth at him like she does at us. I'd like to see that."

They snickered and walked off and I realized that maybe they weren't as much like my brothers as I thought. That made me sad because no one could ever replace my brothers but I thought I'd at least understand Sid and Silas ... but maybe I didn't after all. My brothers never would have put up with anyone hitting a girl; they sure wouldn't get excited at even the possibility of it.

I stayed down in the cellar cleaning what must have been two hours when the door at the head of the stairs jerked open again. I nearly dropped the broom. "Did you hear me calling you? Where the Sam Hill have you been?" Sloan snapped.

"I ... I ... no. I'm sorry. I've been down here ever since you told me to go in the house."

"For two hours?! Not possible. The boys said they'd been all over the house looking for you."

"Well I've been right here."

"Don't lie on top of it."

"On top of what? And I'm not lying. I've been right here."

I heard someone mumbling in the kitchen. It turned out to be Duncan who said, "She's been down there right enough. Saw her myself when I brought back the percolator."

I started up the stairs and heard Sloan snap, "Well why the hell didn't someone say where she was?"

"Maybe 'cause you asked the wrong party Boss."

I was about three-quarter of the way up when Sloan slammed the door. He hadn't seen me on the steps. He also didn't know about the bent nails I use to hang the canning equipment on to keep it out of the way. He found out about it though when the vibration made the handle of the big canner jump from the nail and fall right on me.

I didn't yell but there was a loud crack when I fell against the baluster. Sloan jerked the door opened just in time to seem my arms pinwheel as I failed to keep my balance as the baluster gave way and I toppled over. Some bushel baskets broke my fall so that I didn't hit the floor square on but the wind still got knocked out of me. I was trying to drag air into my lungs only there was too many people around. I finally got my foot against Sloan's stomach and pushed which had them all falling back like dominoes. I rolled over and got up on all fours and finally managed to drag in the first real breath. Sloan tried to come back over but I didn't want to have anything to do with anyone until I could breathe right.

When I could I sat back on my knees, coughed and asked, "Where's the canner? Is it cracked?"

Sloan said, "You're cracked! Is anything broken? Let me ..."

"Stop it. I need to check the canner. It was Gram's and is the biggest one I have ... I mean you have. I've got to ..."

It took a moment to push through them and get the canner and then check it over. "Oh thank goodness. It isn't even chipped. I was so worried."

"Dammit woman, stop worrying about an old pot. You just fell a good ten feet!"

"It wasn't ten feet, more like five or six. The bushel baskets broke my fall. Oh no! How many did I break?!"

I tried to go check the baskets but Sloan started acting crazy. He picked me up in front of God and every one and started carrying me up the stairs.

"Stop that. You're going to strain something!"

"My patience is already strained now be still." He was growling for real so not only did I get still, I shut up. He set me in a chair but I had to stand up real quick. "Sit!"

I tried but it hurt too much. "I can't."

"I said ..." He saw the miserable look on my face and said, "You are hurt."

"No. I'm ... I'm fine. So ... um ... go. Yeah go and I'll take care of everything and ..."

"Teaghan I am not in the mood."

I'd had enough ... of men in general and him in particular. "Well I don't care if you aren't in the mood. Leave me alone."

I tried to go to my old room but one foot on the stairs told me I'd pulled something and wouldn't be running that direction. I turned to go another direction but Sloan was right there in front of me. "Teaghan you are driving me crazy! Now sit down!"

"I told you I can't!"

I spied the two boys watching avidly. "Teaghan dammit!"

Through gritted teeth I told him, "I have a splinter."

"You ... !" He stopped and then said more calmly, "What? Did you just say you have a splinter? Where?"

"Where do you think?"

The boys were howling with glee at my predicament. I rounded on them even though it hurt to do it and yelled, "I thought you were like my brothers. It would have been alright if you were just hard headed. I could have lived with that but you aren't like them at all. My brothers never would have lied to our father about looking around the house but not seeing me just to get me in trouble. My brothers would never be waiting around with baited breath waiting for me to get slapped. You're just a couple of hateful brats and I'm done trying to understand you or be your friend. I'll take care of you for Sloan but that's it! Now GO AWAY!!"

I pushed passed several stunned faces and went miserably to the room where I shared a bed and shut the door then almost cursed when I remembered there was no lock to keep anyone out. I took the chair from the corner and shoved it under the door knob and nearly sobbed at the pain that was now stabbing at me. The shock had worn off and now the splinter was making itself felt.

I slid out of my overalls and it wasn't an easy thing to do and then when I reached back to peel down my underthings I realized they were wet. When I pulled my hand back it was bloody. I gritted my teeth and did what I had to do but when it came time to pull the splinter out I realized it wasn't a splinter at all but a piece of wire handle off of one of the bushel baskets. I tried to pull it out but by that time I was nauseous. It felt like it was hung up on something and wouldn't come out. I was nearly ready to panic when there was a knock on the door.

"Teaghan? Teaghan, let me in."

I knew there was no help for it. I couldn't do this by myself. I hobbled over to the door and slid the chair away. I held my overalls up the best I could while the straps fell down the back. "Come in and shut the door. I need some help."

"I brought some tweezers."

"You should have brought pliers."

"What?"

"Pliers. I ..."

I barely made it to the waste basket. Every time I heaved the piece of metal had me whimpering in pain. I didn't even try to stop Sloan when he tried to see and then he bit out a curse and held me until there were no more heaves. I tried to put me on the bed but I wouldn't let him. "I'll get blood everywhere. I'll lean against the door, just please pull it out. I don't even care if you laugh."

"I'm not laughing. And you aren't leaning against the wall. I don't know how deep this is."

"Then I'll lay on the rug. At least I'll be able to take it outside and wash it."

"Rug might be better. Floor is more stable than a mattress is."

In the end he did wind up having to get a pair of pliers but by that time I didn't care.

"Teaghan drink this."

"Gawd ... no way. Dad would have a fit if he caught me drinking liquor."

"Well your father isn't here and I need you to drink this to deaden the pain."

When I still refused he pinched my nose and tossed several big swallows down my throat. "You're hateful ... just hateful, you know that? Just go away and I'll do it myself."

"Hush and be still."

Suddenly I wasn't caring again. I was too busy trying to not be sea sick. But I cared when he pulled the metal out. And I cared when he poured disinfectant on the puncture wound and cleaned it up. And I cared when that combined with the liquor caused me to puke again. But by the time that was over nothing mattered and I just wanted to be left alone.

 

[john70]

Kathy in FL​

are you this pragmatic in real life, I am thinking all of your women hero's are very pragmatic, I can not think of any story with a male hero

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 10​

I woke up to an exasperated Sloan snapping, "I don't know Dan. The subject hasn't exactly come up you know."

"Well if she hasn't had a tetanus shot she needs one asap."

"Don't you think I know that?!"

My head was splitting. "Shhhh. If it will make you two be quiet you can go find my records in the office in the drawer marked MEDICAL. Dad made sure all of us ... animals and kids ... always had our shots. Now go away. You're too loud."

There was some feet shuffling and then a minute or two later I felt a cool, damp cloth across the back of my neck and I finally oriented myself enough to figure out I was laying face down on a bed. I felt the sheet being pulled down and that woke me up because there was nothing between me and it like there should have been. "Easy there Feisty. Lay still. I'm the only one in here."

"Don't care. I'm not going to be laid out like a side of beef on the butcher's block. I can take care ..."

"Teaghan. After everything else I really don't want to fight with you but you are going to lay still and I mean it."

I knew that tone. It was the same one Dad would use when he'd had all he was going to take. Embarrassed or not I stopped moving and the sheet stopped at my waist. Then I felt something dribbled on my back.

"Ew."

"Fine comment when you are about to be treated to my world famous cure."

"World famous cure for what? Absolute and total humiliation?"

"No, for that headache you've got."

"How'd you know ...?"

"You were rubbing her head in your sleep and whimpering."

He was speaking quiet like you do to someone you don't want to spook. Then I felt him rubbing the stuff into my back. The odor of it finally reached my nose. "Rosemary?"

"Uh huh. And a few other little things. Dr. Williams happens to know a thing or three and you'll let him take care of you."

"Why on earth are you talking in the third person? Only crazy people or those goofy actors on the radio talk like that."

He snorted. "OK, then how about this Miz Literal. I really do know a few things that might surprise you. I've been on my own a long time and learned what helped and what hurt."

"Because of your back?"

He paused and then answered, "Partially."

He kept massaging the oil into my back and after a while I felt like all my bones had gone on vacation.

"Better?"

"Mmm."

I heard a chair scuff on the floor as it was pulled close to the bed and then a squeak as he sat down in it. "Teaghan I didn't mean for you to fall."

"I know that. I never thought you did. It was just a stupid accident. I'm sorry I made such a scene."

He was quiet for a moment then I felt the cloth lifted off and a fresh one take its place. "I'm ... I'm just as sorry about what the boys said. I'm a lot of things - hot tempered is one of them - but I've never stooped to hitting a female. I might have been born a bastard but I try like hell not to act like one."

I turned my head to look at him. "OK, so maybe we can just call it even. My mouth gets stuck in neutral or overdrive at the worst times and you like to slam doors instead of slam people. I can handle that if you can."

Sloan shook his head and said, "You're still toasted from the 'shine."

"Maybe, but I thought this was Marriage Rule #1 ... if the other person hurts we have a duty to be there for them. You're upset I got hurt and feel bad because you think you had something to do with it. Well I don't want you to feel bad 'cause I think it was just an accident so Rule #1 ... right?"

He swallowed and said, "Right."

I was about to fall asleep again when I thought, "Oh no. I hate to ask but do you think Charlie or Duncan would mind cooking for you? I ... I just ... can't ..."

"Shhhh. Everything is under control."

"And ... and I'll apologize to the boys. I shouldn't have been so nasty. Just because they are is no excuse for me to be that way."

"No, you won't. If you want you can explain why what they said hurt but you won't apologize. But I guess I'm going to have to explain a few things." He was quiet for a few minutes then said, "I don't remember my father but he's why my back is like it is. It took him almost killing me before Mom would leave him. She moved in with her brother because my grandparents in town had disowned her for getting pregnant with my brother when she was just fourteen. I could make a lot of excuses for my mother but why she was like she was is complicated and not a nice story. When she got pregnant my grandmother's sister said she'd take her in. She lived in the city and had always loved my mom, warts and all. But she died right after Mom got her GED and my mother went right back to ... to making bad choices. One of those choices was my father. I'm told there wasn't a day that went by that my mother and brother didn't get beat on. My brother got put in foster care twice and Mom swore each time she'd leave him and straighten out her life. Didn't happen; she just made it look good for long enough to get my brother back. Then I did something ... no one is sure what but I was only a year old so it couldn't have been anything serious ... but it set my father off. He reached over and grabbed a boiling pot of pasta off the stove top and threw it at me where I was crawling on the floor. He wouldn't let my mother get help for me for three days. By that time she finally was more scared of me dying than she was of what he would do to her. My grandparents helped her get out of the city and back to Kiln Ridge but wouldn't do more than that until she found a job and kept it. Mom wound up working for my uncle. But by then my brother had already ... I don't know ... absorbed too much meanness. I didn't know how much until after he died and the boys were like they were."

"How ... how old were they when you got them?"

"They didn't come to me first ... they went to my mother whom they learned they could terrorize all too easily. I got them two years ago when she died. It's a mess. The family tried to help and whether you believe it or not the boys are better than they used to be but there is still a lot of work to be done. I was hoping a stable home life would ... would ..."

"I'm sorry Sloan. Now I feel really bad about what I said ... but it was the truth. But maybe I was acting like a baby and shouldn't have shouted at them like that just because I was freaking out."

"We'll just have to start over from scratch, not like I haven't had to do that a time or two. As hard as it is to admit, sometimes all those two understand is a spanking. I wish it wasn't like that but it is."

After a moment I told him quietly, "I'm also sorry for making Mr. Burdock mad. I should have said something about the Market Day. I was ... was just trying really hard not to think about it being exactly two weeks since ... since ..."

"Don't even worry about that Teaghan. Burdock can take his upset and shove it sideways. I had a lawyer from outside the county check over the papers before I arrived and everything, right down to the marriage contract, is legal and above board. Burdock was just acting that way because he doesn't have a thing to hold over me like he thought. A new state law went into effect the day before I signed the contract to take over the farm that says a piece of property can only be taken by imminent domain once in a ten-year time period. That means that the government can't take the property, sell it, then take it back then sell it again over and over."

"Oh gawd. Do you think that is what Mr. Burdock is going to try and do?"

"Can't. And I don't think that was his plan to begin with ... I just think he thought it would be his ace in the hole if I didn't tow the line."

"Tow the line for what?"

"I wish I knew ... but I mean to find out. I don't like feeling like the only joker in a stack of fifty-two." He stood up and reached over and kissed me on my ear. "Rest for a while. I need to check on things."

I didn't expect to sleep but I sure did ... clean through to the middle of the night when I woke up having to go to the bathroom. Getting out of bed without waking Sloan was not easy. Neither was slithering into a night shirt. The very idea of trying to put anything else on made me green in the gills. And let me tell you, sitting down to take care of business was painful.

I was sweating bullets by the time I got out only to open the door to find Sloan standing there. "You ok?"

Giving up having any dignity at all I told him, "Does wishing I was a boy give you a clue?"

"Well I'm glad you aren't a boy ... and one of these days just to show you I understand I'll tell you about the time I got a load of birdshot in one of my cheeks. And trust me when I say it isn't the ones you smile with."

"Ooooo, don't. If I laugh things are gonna jiggle and I'm not up to jiggling right now."

"Hmmmm ... I'm a gonna have to see me some of that ... when you're feeling better."

I shook my head and decided to just be grateful he was willing to put off what he always seemed to be after when the lights went out ... and sometimes not bother waiting even that long.

The next morning was not fun but there was no way I was going to lay around feeling sorry for myself and give people more to talk about. I spent most of the day on my feet and if I did have to sit down I did it where no one could see or make a comment that I was sitting half on and half off the chair. The boys ignored me which was fine. I understood from Josiah that they were feeling sorry for themselves because they'd finally pushed their uncle so hard he'd called into town to make an appointment with a counselor. That was fine by me too. I wasn't sure what Sloan expected me to do about their schooling. Most girls in the area were homeschooled but most of the boys from what I understood still caught the bus up on the highway. I left that problem for another day.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Kathy in FL​

are you this pragmatic in real life, I am thinking all of your women hero's are very pragmatic, I can not think of any story with a male hero

Yep, pretty pragmatic. Life grew me up that way. LOL

And the significant others in the lives of my female characters really do wear a cape and spandex. Why? Because they make it so that the female leads in the story can be who they are. Without their support my characters would just be cardboard itches on wheels. The men are strong enough to partner with the kind of characters I tend to write.

So, bottom line, just because the men aren't THE lead character, that doesn't mean that they are incapable of leading and having my female characters respect and trust them enough to follow.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 11​

I hissed as the disinfectant made contact. "I'm sorry Teaghan. I know it smarts."

"Better than getting an infection. Last thing I want is to try and explain that. Just don't ... you know ... say anything about it. Bad enough that I know everyone else knows. I don't want them actually talking about it too."

He taped a piece of gauze on the painful spot and then patted my other side and said, "I won't. Plus you're being a good sport."

I snorted. "I'm not a cow. Stop patting my ... er ... rump roast."

He thought that was funny but kept the volume of his chuckles down. "I happen to like your rump roast."

He said a few other naughty, silly things and then pulled me close so that my ouch was facing up and my head was laying on his chest. "Tell me honestly Teaghan, how is the harvest going?"

I never understood why he always felt like he had to remind me to be honest. I always tried to be even without being asked to. "Better now that Josiah told that man Jenkins to stop trying to drag race the combine through the wheat field. He was leaving way too many skips and having to waste fuel going back over places he missed."

Sloan had one arm holding me and the other behind his head. "Yeah ... Josiah is coming into his own which is surprising. He's pretty much been a wash out on the sites and Dan thought he was going to have to let him go even though honest labor can be hard to find; but he's doing so well here on the farm that I'm thinking about moving him to work here permanently."

I nodded. "The cows like him."

"Yeah they do ... even that nasty tempered one. She comes when he calls, did you know that?"

I nodded again. "I saw. And he knows about the blowers in the silos. I thought I'd have to explain all that and was waiting for people to get aggravated with me when they found out that they couldn't just harvest the grains and take it straight to town."

"Hmmm ... even I know that Sweetheart. What about you? I saw a lot of fruit get put into the cooler and freezer today."

"And I hope you get to see a lot put on the drying trays tomorrow. But the big things are the potatoes. We gotta get them dug."

"That's being taken care of tomorrow ... and we'll take a truck of those and of the turnip greens to market on Saturday and get Burdock off our backs."

"Well, if you want to sweeten him up, take him a couple of pints of gooseberries ... or better yet let me make him a gooseberry pie."

"I'm getting the feeling you may not verbally be a sweet talker but you can sure sweet talk with those pies of yours. I watched Herndon and Monteverde stop in the middle of a brawl when they saw you coming with a pie today."

I shrugged but grinned at the same time since he couldn't see me. He could feel me however. "Hah! I knew it."

I giggled and said, "Peach pie ... to the rescue."

His chest bumped up and down with a silent chuckle and then his hands got busy and I learned there was more than one way to arrange things. Afterwards I could sense he was feeling serious. "Teaghan ... look ... I'm trying ... just hang on and we'll get it."

Confused I asked, "Get what?"

I could feel Sloan get still and I thought I'd done something stupid again, especially when he asked, "Teaghan how long did you go to school?"

"Until May ... Dad said I was old enough to graduate but if I wanted to keep learning he'd keep buying me books."

"Buying your books? You mean you were homeschooled?"

"Yeah ... but don't get the wrong idea. I know a lot of people think homeschoolers are weird and aren't really educated but I passed the exam every quarter just like the law said I had to."

"Ok, let me rephrase it then ... cause I know homeschoolers aren't weird, one of my cousins and his wife homeschool their kids. What I meant was how long did you go to a school in a building?"


"Oh. When I was in second grade they closed the consolidated school out here. Dad was friends with some of the Mennonites that used to farm along Winding Creek Road so I was allowed to go to their school until fourth grade if I followed the dress code. But then they all picked up and moved to a new area. Hannah graduated that year too and Dad and Mom neither one liked the idea of me riding the bus into town by myself. So homeschool it was." After a moment I asked, "Why?"

"Because you're ... you're ..."

"I'm what?"

"You don't seem to ... uh ... know things like most young women do."

Understanding what he was referring to I told him, "I think we've already talked about this the first time. I'm not stupid about the facts of life 'cause I know that's what you have to be talking about."

"I am ... but I'm also talking about ... let's call it sophistication."

"You mean you think I'm backwards because I don't act like I used to see Hannah and her friends act."

"Not backwards exactly. I'm just used to ... er ..."

"Well go 'er' someplace else," I told him pushing away from him.

"No. And settle down ... I don't want to 'er' someplace else ... or with anyone else. But ..."

"But what?"

"A little more ... enthusiasm on your part would be nice."

I thought about it a moment and said, "You're talking about popping corsets and heaving bosoms."

"Wha ...?" He gave another chuckle. "Don't tell me, let me guess. Hannah's books?"

"Yeah, there was this one that said ..."

"No. No don't even try to explain. Tell you what, we'll just keep working on it."

"I thought that was what we were doing already?"

He groaned and said, "Go to sleep Teaghan."

"I'm not the one that brought it up."

He groaned again and said, "No ... but you're not helping now go to sleep."

He did pretty quickly but I was left awake to wonder why men, and Sloan in particular, insisted on being such a puzzle. Especially since they seemed to do it on purpose.

*****

The next couple of days were really busy. I canned all the soft fruit that wouldn't fit in the freezer and then had to can most of the beef in the freezer to make room for more fruit. I pitted, canned, and dried cherries until I wasn't sure I wanted to see another one for a good long while. I pickled eggs because Sloan seemed to like them and I did the same with some sausages. He was talking about going off for a couple of days to see a potential new reclamation site so I made sure to put some of them in pint jars so he could take them along. The potatoes got dug and the ones that were kept got put in mesh bags and stored in the root cellar ... at least the ones I didn't can or dry did.

The boys did try and antagonize me a few times but not when anyone else was around. Treating them like nothing they said phased me infuriated them. I had a feeling they were plotting but Sloan didn't leave them much energy to do it with because he kept them busy before sun up until supper time and sometimes past that bringing boxes into the house and finding places for them.

The night before market Sloan came in to find me unboxing some of his stuff in the office. "What are you looking for?"

"Nothing," I told him. "Unless you count space on the shelves for your books and things."

"You don't need to ... look Teaghan, I'll take care of it."

"If you don't want me touching your stuff just say so but unless that's the problem then there isn't a problem. You're gonna unpack eventually, eventually might as well be now. Well ... unless you don't want to unpack. Is that it? Is that why you're leaving all of your stuff in boxes?"

Instead of answering me he asked a bizarre question. "If you could wish it back to the way it was would you?"

"I can't so I don't think about it."

"Pretend for just once you weren't practical down to your toenails. Would you wish things back the way they were."

It was an irritating question and I nearly told him so until I saw how serious he was. My first response was yes but then, God help me, the word wouldn't leave my mouth which only made his question even more irritating. "You are making this way too complicated." He just kept looking at me so I told him what was so irritating. "Of course I want Dad back. And my brothers too. I could keep going and say I want Boone back because he was such a good dog and I want Mom and Hannah and Gram and all of them back only not the way they were when they got sick ... and even wish the dementia away so my grandfather could go back to being who he used to be. But you're acting like it could be done without a price, and there's always a price. If I did wish them all back I would be breaking my word ... our agreement. I don't want to do that. So to answer your question, yes I would wish them back but only if it came with not remembering a thing about you or what's been between us. I can't have both. And don't ask me why because I am done with your making things complicated and giving me a headache." I stood there with my arms crossed feeling cross. "I don't know what you're missing and wishing for Sloan but I don't expect it has much to do with me or the farm because you haven't had either one of us long enough to feel that way. Whatever it is, you're not likely to find it however you're going about it. So you might as well spit it out so we can figure out a way for you to have it so you can stop being so moody."

Sloan gave a half-hearted smile. "I guess unpacking this stuff has just brought up some memories I thought I had buried."

"If it is that bad stop unburying them; it's making you strange. Why don't you sit down ... I'll get you a glass of milk and a fried pie. I made some fresh from the early apples."

I tried to walk past but Sloan caught me around my waist. "That's your answer to everything ... fed 'em pie."

"It usually works."

Sloan gave a real grin and ran a hand down my back and it gave me an involuntary shiver. "What's this? Do you like that?"

"Stop it Sloan," I whispered desperately. "The windows and shades are all open. Someone will hear ... or worse, see something."

"Ok, ok ... don't get upset. And just save the pie. I'm sure it's good but I'm not hungry right now."

He gave me an absentminded pat on my shoulder and then left to go meet Dan who had just returned from town ... with more boxes. I watched him walk away and I knew without a doubt something was still bothering him because in my experience the only time a man was off his feed was when he had unpleasant things on his mind.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 12​

When the door closed I sat up. "Finally. Come here and lay down."

"Huh?"

"You're turn."

"My turn what?"

"Don't give me a hard time Sloan. I minded you when you said to lay down and be still so you could fix my ouch. Now you mind me."

Sloan just stared at me with a look that said he wasn't sure what was going on but that he'd humor me until he figured it out. "Oh really. That's the way it's going to be is it?"

"Yes it is, now get undressed and lay down ... on your stomach."

"Uh ... Teaghan."

"Right now."

Sloan treated it like a joke but I was meaning serious business. I hadn't been able to think of much else all afternoon and it wasn't because of all the silly marriage rules Sloan was making up. It seemed like he came up with a new one almost every day. No, I was determined that - rules or not - because he had been nice to me I was going to do something nice for him.

He tried to turn on his side to ask me something but I pushed him over. "Umph ... Teaghan, this has gone far enough. What are you up to?"

"You'll see. Now be still."

"Teaghan .... whew, little warm there." I had just poured the stuff on his back.

"It is supposed to be warm so that it won't just sit on top of your skin but will soak into it. I never see you take care of these and Dad's would get dry and cracked if he didn't. Mom used to remind him but then I had to do the reminding only he ignored me unless a place got so dry it cracked and bled. Gosh it was easy to see where my brothers got their hard headedness from." I was relieved to find the memory didn't make me want to cry so I started smoothing the scar lotion on his back.

"Teaghan ..."

"Hush, it isn't going to make you smell like a girl. It's olive oil, beeswax, and frankincense. A manly smell. And you need to be still 'cause I'm going to do this until your bones feel like they have gone on vacation."

He was just barely cooperating but he was starting to snicker. "Until when?"

"It's the way you make me feel when you put that headache stuff on me. Like after awhile my bones decide to go on vacation. It's nice. It makes me forget what gave me the headache in the first place. So now I'm going to do the same for you only you don't get headaches ... but you've got scars like Dad had so I figured this is almost as good. Now stop wiggling, it can't tickle that much."

"Wanna bet?" he asked when I hit a particularly sensitive spot trying to get to the scars that ran onto his side.

About thirty minutes later there was a snore and I tell you despite everything, thinking of that snore still gives me a lot of satisfaction. I know it shouldn't but it does.

*****

I set the tray on the chair and then went around to Sloan's side of the bed and gently shook his shoulder. One eye popped open then he jerked awake. "What the hell time is it?!"

"My goodness you woke up in a foul mood."

"Dammit Teaghan, I've got to get going. The truck needs to be loaded and ..."

"No market today."

"Dan should have woken me by ... Wait. What did you say?"

"No market today ... it's raining. Started about three this morning and has been going off and on ever since. I got up to make sure all the windows were closed and I saw the men were scrambling because there was some wind and lightning in it at the time. Josiah ran up on the porch and I think I just about scared his hair white when I told him through the screen to have the men bunk in the Burley barn so they and their gear could stay reasonably dry. I came back to bed until the boys snuck in here about quarter to five. Did you know they don't like storms? Anyway I took them to the kitchen and fixed them butterscotch milk and an early breakfast and they're in the front room reading some old comic books I dug out of the back of Jeremiah's closet ... and I got a favor to ask about that in a minute ... anywho Dan fell out of bed - literally 'cause apparently he's about like you when it comes to getting a little extra sleep - in other words freaks out when it is later than he expected - when it was a little after six and he's eating now and I thought I'd bring you a tray in here. So ... er ... uh guess from the look on your face I'm in overdrive again."

"Yeah you are but what I'd like to know is why the hell you didn't get me up earlier."

"Because of marriage rule number I don't know which since we aren't writing them down."

"Teaghan ..."

"Seriously. This is a real rule ... not those silly things you keep making up. I watched my parents and know it for a fact and how you were acting yesterday reminded me of it."

"Teaghan ..."

"Hush. The rule goes like this. When the husband is acting hard headed and is in danger of working himself so hard he is going to get sick it is the duty of the wife to put her foot down and arrange things so that the husband gets knocked out of his socks and minds her until he is in a better frame of mind and doesn't need reminding of the fact that he is only one person and there are only so many hours in a day. So there. We'll figure out which rule number it can be but it's definitely going in that book you keep saying you're going to write. Now crawl back up in that bed so you can eat breakfast and have some coffee and get human ... or else."

"Or else what?" he asked with a growl but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were saying that he was kind of enjoying me telling him off.

"To be perfectly honest I don't know yet but I'll figure something out if you don't."

That finally did it ... he smiled like he hadn't for a couple of days. "I'll eat but I'm not doing it in bed."

"But ..."

"I'll sit in the chair and that's my final offer."

"Oh fine, be that way. Make me have to come up with an 'or else'."

"You better be glad I don't give you or else for having such a sassy mouth. Where'd that come from anyway? You normally act like a mouse squeak would have you running."

"From my broom it would. I don't like mice ... especially not in the house. You aren't bringing them in with your boxes are you?"

"No," he said with a smile. "I'm checking them beforehand just to be sure. What about you? Finding anything interesting while you are nosing around in them?"

That brought me up short. "You know if it was easy to hurt my feelings you would have just done it."

I put his breakfast on in his lap after he sat down and was going to walk out. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to go do some stuff ... and it does't have a thing to do with your boxes. I'm not touching them anymore."

"Now don't be that way, I was just joking."

I looked at him good and then shook my head. "No you weren't. And now neither am I. I wasn't being nosey I was trying to help. This is your ... this is your home now. I just wanted you to feel like it. And ... and it's time I started putting ... putting Dad's and the boys' things away. After they sit for a bit I'll be able to go through them and give away what needs giving away. Mom's and Hannah's stuff is in the attic ... it's time for all of that to be gone through too. Plus you need room for your stuff. So ..."

"Hey now ..."

"Hay is for horses. When you're finished I'll come get the tray while you shave and shower."

I left the room with as much dignity as I could muster towards a man that had pulled a piece of wire out of my rump and then tended to the wound several days running to make sure it healed without infection. That sort of thing doesn't leave a lot of room for dignity but I took what I could get. All the good feelings I'd had since the night before had evaporated. The boys were still at it and being quiet so I didn't even let them know I'd checked on them. Dan was still reading papers at the dining room table so I didn't go in there either. Instead I got an empty box from the pile that was stacking up in the hall and went into the office and started taking Dad and my grandfather's stuff off the shelves and off the walls.

I didn't think, I just worked. Every time the box filled up I would take it down to the basement and then through to what I had always thought of as my playroom. Mom and Hannah couldn't stand it because it was dark and they said it made them feel claustrophobic. It was dark all right but it had never bothered me. The ceiling is a little low but I don't have to duck. And it’s a little narrow but I'd grown up with it being that way so it never seemed like it was supposed to be any other way. It was part of the original cellar and has these really dark beams to hold the stone slab ceiling up ... the beams were so old they were almost stone themselves. Shelves that held really old junk lined one wall, most of it not worth keeping though a couple of the shelves held my "treasures" from childhood.

I'd clear a shelf of old junk, then after filling it with stuff I was taking down from around the house I'd empty the next one. I was putting a pile of broken baskets on the back porch to be carted off to the burn pile when Sloan found me and asked quietly if I'd come to the office because Dan and he couldn't account for something. I followed and the cash box was sitting on the desk and Dan looked like he was getting a headache trying to get it to balance against the book that had been inside it and I knew immediately what the problem was.

"You're trying to balance the bank book against the cash ... they aren't the same thing."

Both men looked at me. "The cash box ... it's the general cash fund. The book is for the bank accounts Dad kept."

"There's a lien on the farm?" Dan asked.

"No."

Sloan picked up the book and eyed the column of numbers. "Teaghan there was quite a bit of money here then it was zeroed out by several withdrawals."

"Yes."

Sloan looked like he was about to get frustrated but I didn't care. Dan said, "Teaghan give me a minute of your time and explain it to me. Make it simple because that big breakfast you fixed and this rain has me wanting to curl up and go to sleep just like Shotgun over there."

I gave him a look that told him I just figured out Sloan wasn't the only salesman on the premises but he just grinned back unrepentant. I shook my head and sat down and pulled the book towards me then pointed at the first column. "This bank is over in Kiln Ridge. Last summer Jason got pushed out of the truck during a mobbing when they were going to market and got stomped pretty good. The closest clinic was in Kiln Ridge. The doctor was pretty nice and let Dad pay on account since we couldn't pay it all in cash up front at the time without taking money from other places. He put several bushels of wheat as a down payment and then deposited market cash there that he'd then transfer to the doctor's account. This next column is for the same bank but different account ... that was to pay off the tractor tires. The next column is for a bank over in Haines. That ... that was for all the funerals. Even though everyone was buried in the family plot caskets and headstones still cost. And the one next to that was for the lawyer it took to straighten all of the inheritance out when it went to probate. Dad took the money we didn't need to get started with this spring and paid off everyone. The release of liens and stuff like that should be in the file cabinet."

"I saw them, I just didn't tie everything together."

I nodded and stood up. "Wait ... you still need to explain the cash here." I flipped the lid back further and pointed to the words written there. "Bank of Sealy"

"Dad said banks were fine in their place but that he didn't trust no man, beast, or lending institution to do what was expected 100% of the time so ... he kept the bank of Sealy here at home as a safeguard. It normally stays under a loose floor board up in my parents' bedroom but after I signed the proxy papers I brought it down and put it in the desk."

Dan looked like he wasn't understanding and I wasn't sure how to explain it any simpler than that. Finally I looked at Sloan and asked, "Well what else was I supposed to do with it? I signed the papers and it said all liens, assets, and such and so's. Well that's what that cash box is."

Sloan just kept staring at me so I turned back to Dan who just shook his head. "OK, how about these dividers ... peanuts, goats, cheese ... are they some kind of code?"

At the time I thought they were being silly but I've grown to understand that they've led such a different life from what I had that they really didn't think the same way as I did. "It isn't code," I explained. "It means literally peanuts, goats, cheese, and then that big stack in the back is the general operating fund."

Dan said, "Gonna have to do a little better than that Teacup 'cause I'm still not getting it."

Dan had started calling me Teacup for no good reason except to rile me up. He was just about as bad a tease as Sloan and that was saying something although it was different ... kinda reminded me of my uncles when they would come to visit.

"Peanuts. That section was the boys' money ... I mean my brothers. They plant ... ed ... I mean planted Tennessee Red every April and harvested in October. They'd take a truck of apples to the market and also sell boiled and roasted peanuts on the side. Made pretty good money at it because everyone likes peanuts. This rain will do the field good, they were starting to look a little dry and I don't know how to operate the big irrigator."

Dan scribbled something on his pad of paper. "Cheese?"

"Just like it sounds. That was Mom's money for I don't know ... just Mom stuff. I kept the cheese-making up but the money from it started being put in general funds. And before you ask goats mean goats too. Hannah and I had that section. It was ... I guess Dad's way of teaching us how to run a business plus making us responsible for coming up with our own spending money. Only ..."

"Only what?" Sloan asked like he was suddenly interested in the answer.

"Only nothing I suppose. I need to get back to work."

Dan stopped me with one more question. "Teaghan, why did you put all of this cash here in the desk?"

"I already told you. Weren't you listening? You two may not think I have much sense but I've got enough to read something before I sign it. I read the proxy papers and I read the papers from the county where they took the farm away. It said everything got transferred over ... not just some stuff but everything ... the contents of the house and every outbuilding ... every animal ... every crop ... and all the proceeds there of. I don't think they could have made it any clearer. I'm not dense you know. If I wanted to keep living on the farm those papers told me exactly what it meant. Geez, you act like I'm dense."

Getting fed up again I finally left the room and walked back down the basement stairs to bring up another load of junk. I'd reached the shelf with my oldest toys and was trying to decide whether to leave them out or box them up when a hand reached around me and picked up an old wiggle-waggle my grandfather had made before it became too dangerous for him to work in his wood shop.

"A treasure?" Sloan asked.

I sighed. "I'm boxing things up as fast as I can. It will be out of your way in just a bit. I'm just using this space down here to separate things out until I can figure out what to do with them."

"Why do you have to do anything with them?"

"Because they don't belong here anymore. Now move please, there isn't enough room to turn around with you and me both in here."

"I hadn't even noticed this room before."

"A piece of plywood normally stays over the door way. Mom and Hannah hated it in here ... they said it reminded them of a mausoleum."

"It is a bit tight."

I shrugged.

"Teaghan ... you don't have to ..."

"Please don't Sloan. I don't need to be babied. Like I told you upstairs I read the papers. I know what they say."

"This is still your home."

"No. This is where I live. And I'm grateful so don't get me wrong but I don't really have a home like I did before ... I'll never inherit the farm. Or I did but there is no way I could have kept it and I'd be stupid to daydream otherwise. Please don't play me for a fool and don't pretend because you think that is what I need or something like that. It is as bad as lying to me would be. Reality is what it is. I should have gotten around to this before I've just been busy. The rainy day is just giving me time I didn't have before. Just like it should be giving you time to do something else too so go do whatever it is you and Dan need to do."

 

[Mr Bill]

Quite the saga you have going on. I like it a lot. Thanks

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 13​

I saw a basket that didn't have too many holes in it, grabbed it, and started loading the few toys that survived my mother's mania for decluttering our bedrooms into it. When it was full I wedged it onto the shelf of things I wasn't ready to part with but knew would likely have to go sooner rather than later. I grabbed another basket and started pulling off rocks, arrow heads, and other things I'd found on the farm when I'd still been into digging in the dirt.

"I have no idea if the boys will be interested in this stuff but I'll give it to them."

"Teaghan ... stop it. Look at me."

"What?"

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Why?"

"Because however things were before they aren't like that now. I can't keep on holding onto the past. It's gone, over with, never coming back. Holding onto it doesn't make good sense." I tried to edge around him since he refused to move but he wedged me up against the wall. I told him, "That's not fair. You're bigger than me. You know I can't make you let me go."

"No you can't. And I don't like using my size against you, but you aren't listening to a word I'm saying."

"Yes I am."

"No you aren't."

"Yes I am. You're saying that I don't have to do this and I'm saying yes I do ... it's time. Maybe past time for some stuff."

"Teaghan ..."

"Will you stop that?! Look, I may not be ... what was that word you used ... oh yeah ... sophisticated. I may not be sophisticated like the females you are used to being around, I may not act like the women you normally ... well whatever you normally ... but I would appreciate it a great deal if you'd stop thinking that I'm half-baked and need to be humored just because I'm different than them. I'm sure some of the stuff you mean flies over my head. I'm sure that I'm not who or what you would have picked if you'd been given the chance. I'm sure I even make you mad or irritated because I'm not what you would have picked. But guess what ... I didn't get to pick the way things turned out either ... I dealt with it by choosing the best option I thought I had. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got to work with which we both know isn't much. I don't own nothing. I'm not sophisticated. Apparently I don't have enough enthusiasm for whatever it is you want. Frankly I know there's a whole lot of things I'm not ... but there's just as many things that I know I am. I'm honest. I work hard. I keep my word. I can cook. I don't waste money. I don't need to be sweet talked into doing what I should be doing in the first place. I don't complain ... most of the time. I don't live in some ridiculous fairy tale waiting for a nonexistent fairy godmother to come along with her nonexistent wand and poof make everything perfect. And for the record ... I don't have any magical powers either ... like reading minds. If there is something you don't want me to touch or look at then say so. You wanted me to get to know you well I'm trying ... but I can't do it if you play pretend until I do something wrong then decide to have at me because I didn't know whatever it was I did was going to set you off. Now let me go. I've got a lot of work to do and none of it is getting done while I'm stuck to this wall like a bug."

I pushed his shoulders but he didn't budge. He and I were both getting mad because neither one of us were having our way. Looking back and seeing it for what it was I can see Gram shaking her head at us and saying we were both acting like a couple of surly two-year-olds, but I could never have seen that then. I was too close and it was too personal. Looking back, I can see I had less reason to be as self-righteous as I felt, and Sloan didn't understand half as much as he thought he did. Maybe had I been able to see it then I might have been able to take a different path but deep down I think no matter what path I took that I would still wind up exactly where I am right now.

A voice bellowing from the kitchen shouted, "Teaghan??! Can Silas and I have a cookie? You said we could."

"Coming!" I called up to them.

I pushed one more time on Sloan and he finally turned loose. I went up the stairs without looking back and after I'd given the boys a mid-morning snack I started on lunch which was basically just a big pot of soup because I hadn't expected it to rain any more than anyone else had.

Charlie and Duncan I learned were doing basically the same thing except they asked if I'd make an extra pan of bread when I did my baking. I offered them an alternative. "How about cheese crackers ... if I can't get the wheels to market we might as well see the use of them. And instead of a dessert that is just going to make more work, how about I slice some cheese and fruit and they can deal with that. It's almost too muggy for much else anyway. I can make cottage cheese, sliced tomatoes, pickles and a big relish tray and have cold, sliced ham as well for supper."

The two men nodded in relief. Even people who like to cook, even get paid to do it, get tired of it now and then, especially when they have to do it in bad weather. Duncan said, "And if they're still hungry after that they can go catch a squirrel and roast it on their ownsome. Those tree rats are getting into the supplies anyway and need to be thinned out."

Lunch came and went and I kept plugging away going through the house, grabbing up the personal stuff but leaving whatever might be useful to someone else. Family pictures came down but I left the landscapes where they were ... that sort of thing. The downstairs was finished though I planned to go over it again but I wanted to make a first pass upstairs before I stopped for the night. When I finished with my room it looked as sterile as a ridiculously pink room could look. I stepped into my parents' bedroom then shook my head and stepped back out. I might have sounded brave to try and hide the hurt from Sloan but I just wasn't ready to face that room. Hannah's room had already been cleaned out ... the boys and I did it so Dad wouldn't have to. I think that was harder on them than it was on me. That stuff was in the attic and would have to be dealt with another day. That left my brothers' rooms. Oh joy.

Hating that I had to, I walked downstairs and stuck my head in the office. Sloan and Dan were sitting in there going over piles of paperwork. "I hate to bother you but I need a favor."

"Oh so now you need me for something."

One look at his face and I knew it was hopeless. "Never mind. Sorry to have disturbed you."

I turned and went straight back the way I'd come. I heard Dan mutter something and Sloan snapped, "None of your damn business."

"No it isn't," Dan said. "But I'm just wondering if you blame her because she isn't Chaundra or if you blame her because she's not like Chaundra."

Sloan's curse followed me up the stairs but it also gave me something that I hadn't had before. I now had a piece of the puzzle that was Sloan ... a piece maybe he'd been hiding behind that salesman's smile. And that piece was named Chaundra.

I wasn't stupid enough to jump to any conclusions and think I had things all figured out but it sure made me lean in a direction that I was more hurt by than I had any right to be, especially back then. I gave myself the proverbial shake and told myself I was being beyond an idiot to think a thirty year old man hadn't had relationships before I met him. Heck he'd already admitted to having been married. But the question was whether this Chaundra was his ex-wife or someone else. Not that it was any of my business. None at all.

Calling myself all kinds of a fool I went to work. I emptied my brothers' dressers and clothes rods in their respective closets and hauled it all down to the laundry room for sorting. Their boots went down to the mud room and lined up under the bench. I stripped the beds because they needed it and took that to the laundry room as well. My brothers were minimalists so there wasn't much else obvious to deal with - they'd cleaned most of their old stuff up before leaving for basic training. But next was the more difficult part. I should have secured them right off but I hadn't so all I could do was be thankful Sloan's nephews hadn't taken to being so bored they started snooping. The guns weren't especially heavy but they were awkward. Carrying them as well as some of Jeremiah's old military gear down the stairs made me feel silly. And when I walked into the office and both men jumped up and back, knocking over their chairs, all it did was irritate me more.

"Very funny. Ha ha. Pass me the keys to the gun closet."

"Uh ..."

"Oh for ... the black, antique looking one next to the old brass key that opens the lock on the desk drawers."

I was juggling guns, gear, and key when Sloan took the guns. "Where did these come from?"

"Jeremiah's room. I have to bring Jason's down and that rifle has an even bigger scope on it so don't lock the closet back up. And the ammo cans need to come down too but no way am I going to be able to lift them."

Dan, still wide eyed with surprise, asked, "Anything else like that around here?"

"No. Dad and the boys' personal carries and shot guns were taken away by the mob. I don't know what happened to them. For all I know that's what they were murdered with." I turned and trudged back up the stairs to get Jason's guns but by the time I got to his closet Sloan was right behind me.

"Where are the ammo cans?"

I opened the door and pointed. It would have been funny in almost any other situation but when Sloan's mouth fell open all I could do was say, "Now you know why I said ammo cans."

"There's over two dozen cans in here."

"Jeremiah has more." I rubbed the place between my eyes feeling a headache coming on. "Look, I'm not trying to tell you your business but if it were me I wouldn't mention these to Mr. Burdock on that report thingie. I'm not so sure the boys were supposed to bring this stuff home from the war. They kinda took it in lieu of the discharge pay they were promised but never received."

It took more than a few trips to bring everything down even with Dan helping. I caught the two of them muttering together more than once but refused to try and decipher what they were saying. After Dan went off to get some catalog or other out of his truck I turned to Sloan. "Look, I really do need a favor."

"What now?" Sloan asked like he couldn't take much more.

"Just forget it." I said determined to deal with it myself.

I grabbed a bag and a box and headed back up the stairs. I stared at my brother's foot locker and then just sat on it and put my head on my knees but jumped back up when Sloan came in. "Teaghan I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. What is it you need?"

I wanted so badly to throw it back in his face but I just couldn't do it. I pointed to the foot locker. I don't know what Sloan expected to find inside but if his relieved laughter was any indication it hadn't been something nice. I could hear him rustling through them and a few whistles before he said, "Your brother has some ... er ... interesting ... "

"Don't. I know exactly what those are but they aren't interesting they're just plain indecent. I think it was some show girl he met overseas. I overheard Jason and Dad talking about it a couple of times, both saying they were glad Jeremiah hadn't actually been dumb enough to marry her and bring her home. But obviously he was ... er ... enamored of her."

He was still laughing and said, "I should say so. What exactly did you want me to do with this stuff?"

"Bag it up and take it to the burn barrel? Please? I found it ... well I found it when I started trying to set things the way they were supposed to be when you took over only ... a couple of those make me ... ill. Please just take them away. Some of those are of my brother and that woman together," I added desperately hoping he'd do the deed for me.

Without another word I heard him scoop the stack of magazines and pictures into the box and then heard him closing the lid. "I think it is dry enough that I can get this going long enough for it to be disposed of. That OK?"

"Oh yes ... please!"

I watched from the kitchen window as he did what he promised. By the time he came in I had supper almost ready, all except for slicing the ham and Charlie had said he and Duncan would take care of that with the deli slicer they had in their kitchen trailer. And speaking of, they arrived right after that and said, "Trade ya." As they handed me a plate of ham.

When they left Sloan said, "Just cover everything and leave it on the table in here. No need to go to the trouble of setting the dining room table. And we can eat on paper plates too."

"Uh ... you sure?"

"We're getting spoiled. This isn't a restaurant where we need to be waited on at every meal."

I took that as a sign that maybe we weren't going to be upset with each other anymore so nodded and said, "It's no trouble but thank you for the night off. I might actually get most of the things marked off my list."

I started to walk off but he stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm. "Teaghan?"

"What?"

He looked like he wanted to say something then shook his head. "I guess you're right, there's just some things that can't be changed."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 14​

We hardly said anything to each other when we went to bed but no matter how tired I was I just couldn't go to sleep. When Sloan started snoring I carefully got out of bed and went to the kitchen to get my headache pills. I only took one when I absolutely had to but had felt the beginnings of one of my bad ones. It was close to that time of the month too which was only making it worse.

I sat at the table looking at the bottle for almost thirty minutes willing myself not to need one but when the nausea set in I knew I had no choice. I was dry heaving into the sink when I felt a damp cloth laid across the back of my neck. I tried to point him back in the direction of his bed but he either didn't understand or ignored me ... probably just ignored me.

When my stomach was under control I turned to pick up the pill bottle but he took it from me. "What are these?"

"Pills."

"My God, you have to be the most literal person on the planet. I can see they're pills. What kind of pills?"

"Migraine," I whispered trying to ignore the jackhammer that was slowly picking up speed inside my head.

"You have migraines?" He held the bottle so that a moonbeam fell on the label. "These are made out to you all right but the prescription is over a year old."

"Don't like them. Drug me up. Please just ... open the bottle. I'm not sure I can now." My right hand had started to shake which was a sure sign of the worst of headaches that I sometimes got. I moaned, trying to keep it behind my teeth.

I sank to the floor and laid my forehead on the cool stone. I knew what I wanted to do but I also knew that to do it tended to freak people out ... or at least Hannah had always said so. But the pressure was building and the only way to equalize it was with counter pressure. Involuntarily I started rocking and banging my head on the floor.

I was summarily picked up and swung up in Sloan's arms but all that did was make black spots appear behind my eyelids. "Ohhhhhhhh."

He sat me in a chair and opened the bottle. I jerked it from his hand and dry swallowed a pill before shoving the bottle back into his hands and out of temptation's way. Nothing the rest of the night made much sense. By morning I realized I had gotten off easy, all I had was a hollowed out and hung over feeling instead of having a three day 'graine. I'd had those too and they weren't fun. I called them my "undertakers" because that is all I wanted midway through ... for the undertaker to come and haul me off and put me out of my misery.

I tried to roll out of bed but couldn't because Sloan's arm was across me. From his pillow he asked, "How often you get headaches like that?"

"That wasn't a headache, that was a migraine. I got lucky and was able to head it off before it got too bad."

"That wasn't bad?" he asked incredulously.

I shuddered. "No."

"You feeling ok now?" he asked quietly.

"I'll live. I need to get up and start the coffee."

"In just a minute. Answer a couple of more questions." I sighed and nodded. "Who gave you the scrip? That stuff is hard to come by these days."

"You're telling me. It took me passing out in front of the head surgeon and him seeing for himself how bad the headaches can get before they'd even put the paper work in for the request. It took six more months for the approval to come through and three months beyond that before the medication even shipped. I don't take them unless I absolutely have to because I have a feeling when those are gone there's not going to be anymore after that. I sure won't have the money for them. Dad sold two cows and a hog to pay cash because the financing option doubled the price."

"Are the headaches a left over from the pandemic?"

"No ... I was the only one in the house that never even got sick." Sighing and gently rubbing my forehead I explained, "I've had these stupid things for as long as I can remember. Usually if I can just find a dark, quite corner they'll be gone after a couple of hours. But every few months I'll get a real goober. And about once a year I'd willingly pay someone to dig my grave so I could crawl in it. When those ones come all I can do is just ride them out like a tsunami."

"Have you ever had an MRI or x-ray done?"

"Yeah. When Dad was still in the military. I've had every test done known to man and probably a few of cosmic origin. All normal. I just have migraines and they don't know why. Can I get up now?"

He moved his arm and I slid out. "Teaghan?"

"Yeah?" I answered looking for my robe so I could go change in the bathroom.

"About yesterday ..."

I found my robe and pulled it on with my back to him. "What about it?"

"I should have at least said thank you for putting that lotion on my back."

He'd surprised me again. I told him, "Oh. Don't worry about it. Besides I didn't do it to get a thank you. I just thought that I'd be nice to you for a change instead of you being nice to me."

I slipped out of the room as I heard him getting up as well. While I dressed I realized the migraine might be on the downside but the leftover I sometimes felt was hanging on. The idea of too much noise didn't appeal to me at all so instead of banging around skillets I started a pan of water boiling and made poached eggs. The boys wouldn't touch them until I told them to hush or they wouldn't get any cheese sauce. That did it. I could feed them old muck boots and they'd eat it willingly so long as there was cheese on them.

Outside there were still a few places with standing water but the sky was clear and the day warm which meant my indoor work would have to wait.

*****

"Uncle Sloan said you were sick last night. Did he hit you?"

"What?! Of course not. I had a migraine. In case you don't know what that is it's a really, really bad headache. Why do you two always want someone to be hitting someone else? That's just not natural."

Both boys shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"Well, you should start figuring it out before it gets away from you and you do something you'll be sorry about for a long, long time. Now are you two coming or not? I don't have all day to wait around."

And that's how, while the laundry lines were full of the morning's wash, I wound up going to pick wild plums so the boys could dig for worms in the spot my brother's had considered their secret fishing weapon.

After a long day of chasing my tail trying to catch up and get ahead at the same time, I sat brushing my hair a hundred strokes like Mom had told me to do each and every night for life. Sloan was sitting in bed propped against the headboard watching me. "I cannot believe you talked the boys into having a worm farm."

"Worm farms are fun. Jeremiah and Jason built me one when I was younger than Sid and Silas are now. And they're helpful too. Best compost ever. And unlike other pets, if they forget about them or get tired of them all we have to do is turn them out or take them fishing." Sloan snorted though I'm pretty sure he agreed. "Besides, they're less likely to get into trouble if their time is being used for something constructive."

"You know, I'm surprised after that headache you had that you'd be running that brush through your hair like that."

"Why? It feels good."

"Even after your head hurt?"

"Because my head hurt."

"Teaghan ..." I could hear the irritation in his voice.

I rolled my eyes in his direction and sighed. "Sorry. I'm just so used to who I talk to understanding what I mean. The boys and Dad always did. And Gram and I could just about finish each other's sentences which as I think about it did kinda drive Mom and Hannah a little crazy sometimes, but not much because they could do it with each other." Feeling blue I told him, "This is going to take practice."

I got up and put my brush away in the bottom drawer I was keeping all my things in and then asked, "You ready for me to turn out the lights?"

"No. Come here."

I was still learning to read his looks but I already knew "the look" when I saw it. I hid my sigh thinking I was much more comfortable with the lights out but walked over to where he had patted the bed in front of him. From under his pillow he pulled out a paper bag and I started to get nervous.

He chuckled, "Relax. I'm not going to bite."

He opened the bag and pulled out some waded up material. "I finally found the truck this stuff was loaded in. I won the reclamation contract on a strip center a couple of months back and it wound up being a better deal than Dan and I expected. Several back rooms were completely overlooked or missed when it was taken over as a nuisance property. None of this is green ... but it isn't pink either ... and no dolls on it."

The wad of fabric turned out to be a pile of fancy underthings. My face warmed as I turned several shades of red making Sloan chuckle. He said, "I want you to try them on to make sure they fit."

"Uh ..."

"For me?"

I looked at him and saw that he honestly wanted to see me wear the stuff he'd given me ... but he also wanted to watch me try it on. I supposed I could have been hard headed and asked why or made some other kind of scene but he'd already said he "liked to look," not to mention I wasn't a complete idiot. What I lacked in "sophistication" I thought I made up for in practicality. I figured even if I didn't understand and actually felt a little silly, that if he got something out of it then he'd be in a good mood and would then be less likely to get upset over other things I didn't do. Taking my courage in hand I picked up the first item and hid my grimace. Lace.

Everything fit, not that I got around to actually trying everything on that night. But I had been right about one thing, with Sloan in a good mood there were less upsets between us. That isn't to say however that there weren't a few here and there.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 15​

Two market days came and went. I missed reviewing things with Dad and the boys afterwards and making the entries - it had made me feel a part of things - and that more than anything showed me that whatever the farm had been to me, it was no more. My monthly came and went as well but is was surprisingly easy to get through that first telling despite an initial brangle that wasn't over that but something else.

"I'm not an idiot Teaghan. No way was I going to make it to thirty without learning a few things about the female anatomy."

"Ok. I ... uh ... thanks."

"For what?"

I shrugged. "For ... you know ... understanding why we can't ... you know. I know you like to."

I turned away in relief and started brushing my hair again. I heard the bed squeak and then a slight tug as the brush was taken from my hand. "We need to talk."

I'd come to dread that phrase and for him to know so much about the female anatomy I still wonder if he knows that much about the female mind. "What did I do now?"

He snorted. "Why do you always assume that I'm about to tell you that you're doing something wrong every time I say we need to talk?"

"Because that's the way it usually runs. The way I've always tallied the milk production wasn't working for you so it had to be changed to a new form. I tried to enter things into the ledger like I always have but then you and Dan got upset when you found out because you aren't using the ledger anymore, but that system you all have always used. I'm spoiling the boys because they've started to expect cookies instead of earning them. You flipped because I ironed your boxers and you thought they were going to be stiff. You want me to keep going? Because it has gotten to the point where I have to keep a list so that I don't keep making mistakes. I don't want to keep making mistake, I'm trying not to, but this is a lot of new to keep up with so just tell me what I did this time so I can add it to the list."

He thought he'd call my bluff. "You're exaggerating. Show me your list."

I had him there though. He thought I'd been telling a story but I hadn't been. I pulled out an old tablet from my drawer and handed it to him. I might not have had a ledger anymore per se but I still felt compelled to keep track of things and put some order to my days.

He took it and looked it over. "Why do you do this?"

"I told you, to keep track of things."

He shook his head and muttered, "Not only are you aggravatingly literal now it looks like you're OCD on top of it."

I tried not to but it was my first monthly in a while and they tend to make me emotional. My bottom lip started quivering and my eyes watered and I was just not having him see that he had that kind of power over me. I took the tablet out of his hands and went to the kitchen and chunked it in the garbage under the sink then put the tea kettle on.

Sloan followed and asked, "There you go being over sensitive again. I swear the way you act sometimes a man would think you were on your period three weeks out of four instead of just one. What the hell are you banging around in here for?"

Quietly I told him, "I'm not banging around; you're the one making too much noise and in danger of waking people up. I'm just fixing me a cup of mint tea ... I've got cramps." Usually my brothers would hear the word cramps and take off in the opposite direction. Hannah had taught me that one and it had proved useful. Unfortunately Sloan refused to fall into what I considered a normal male pattern.

"How bad?"

"What?"

"How bad are your cramps? Do you need anything?"

I just looked at him and in outrage asked him, "Don't you have any boundaries at all?! My cramps, my business. I already told you I'm making a cup of mint tea."

"I'm your husband and ..."

"Oh no ... not another rule. I'm about fed up with all these blasted rules and how I'm somehow or other breaking them. I get it ... I'm not living up to my end of the bargain. Why don't you just go tell Mr. Burdock I'm not up for the job so you can go find someone who is. It's not like I already don't feel that way ... you don't need to rub it in. I've been trying ... whether you think I have or not. I thought if I did everything you wanted that you'd be happier and mostly I thought you were but here you are, you still just gotta get your digs in. I'm starting to realize you're just covering up how you really feel."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm tired of being measured and found wanting against some list of rules I've never even been given the chance to read a full copy of, or against some perfect example of womanhood I've never even met that is the kind of sophisticated normal you prefer. It's not fair. I don't go around measuring you against my father and brothers do I?"

"Oh be serious. You're always talking about how they used to do things."

"Not because they did it in particular but because that's the only way I know how to do things ... but you don't hear me bleating like a goat about changing how things are done or refusing to learn a new way. I've tried every blasted time even when it turns out your way isn't any better and sometimes does nothing but make more work and you have to change it again. Now just leave me alone to drink my tea in peace so I don't stick my foot in my mouth yet again because I'm tired of doing that too."

"You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of you acting like a child. When you are ready to grow up and be a woman let me know."

He stomped off back to his bed and it took everything I had not to throw the kettle ... but that was too much like what his father had done to him and I couldn't bring myself to take that final step. By that time I really did have cramps so I measured out some leaves into a tea ball and leaned against the counter to catch the kettle before it started to whistle.

That done and the water poured I turned to take it to the table and drink but nearly dropped it. Dan was sitting there first. "Sorry. Didn't say anything before because I didn't want you to burn yourself."

"Uh ... thank you."

"Sloan and you have a fight?"

"Fight? No, not really."

"What do you call it then?"

I sighed, "Not measuring up." Turning the conversation I told him, "There's enough water for another cup if you want one. Good night."

"Teacup don't get your feelings hurt ... you don't have much experience with men ... we just ..."

"Don't. My uncle tried to explain men to me one time and I wound up so confused it took Mom, Gram, and Hannah nearly two weeks to untangle it. Besides, I know how men can be."

He chuckled, "Oh you do? And how do you come by all this vast experience?"

He thought he was being funny and I suppose he might have been for someone else but it wasn't funny to me. "You really have no idea what it is like to be a female do you? You think I was stuck here on the farm because my family were just backwards local yokels? Well let me tell you. I was twelve the first time a so-called man cornered me in the grocery store. His reasons were he didn't realize I belonged to someone and it wasn't his fault my family wasn't looking after me the way they should. Hannah and Mom had it even worse ... especially my sister who worked in the card store in town. Dad and Mom finally agreed it was just getting too dangerous and told her to quit. After the pandemic? It was like open season on anything female or looked like it might be female. It got so bad the BOCC tried a lot of things including having places that were women-only and men-only ... and yes I know they looked the other way when those illegal whore houses went up along the river because 'men have needs'. The last straw for Dad was when he hired someone to help around the farm until he and my brothers could pull their heads together. The man seemed nice, had a family too, but three weeks in he knocked me over the head and drug me into my grandfather's wood shop. I was this close to losing everything, maybe even my life since the guy was holding a knife to my throat, but then Boone trotted by, saw the threat, and saved me. You know what happened to that man? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Dad called the sheriff and everything but they said because I was fifteen it was his word against mine and he said I'd been teasing him and lured him and that I liked it rough." It made me angry again just thinking of it. "That was it. Dad said no more. They didn't mean to make me a prisoner and they made it as nice as they could but a prison is still a prison ... and it is all because of how so-called men can be. But I can tell the difference between bad men and real men. But real men and bad men are both still men ... you're just different sides of the same coin. I'm trying real hard not to turn Sloan from a real man into a bad man. Occasionally it would just be nice if I got it right instead of always being the cause of something not being right."

"Teacup?"

"Oh please don't. Don't be nice, not on top of everything else. I don't need to be humored like I'm two years old or like I've got some screws loose."

"OK, then how about this? You aren't the only one that has experienced the worst of the opposite sex. Sloan has some hang ups."

"Stop."

"Excuse me?"

"Stop. Whatever you are about to tell me is none of my business."

"Even if it helps you to understand?"

"Dan, you mean well but Gram told me there's always consequences for gossiping. And since what you are wanting to explain to me happened before Sloan met me then it's gossiping and none of my business. If Sloan wants me to know something he'll tell me otherwise I don't have any right to the information. Until then I don't want to hear it because I don't want to have to explain to him that I was talking behind his back. I make enough mistakes accidentally, I don't want to make one that nasty on purpose."

I heard the bench scrape and then his steps retreating. I thought to myself, "Great Teaghan, your mouth needs a warning label."

I took my cup to the table and started sipping on it. I inhaled a deep breath taking in the calming scent that reminded me of Gram. She was such a calming influence in my life. Mom taught me how to tend house, cook, most all the womanly sciences that were necessary to keep a family going. She'd also taught me how to accept the hard parts of being female, how to deal with life just not being fair ... and I think I got that right most of the time. I admired her grace under fire and will always wish I could rise to the occasion like she always seemed to be able to do. Even when she was so sick and in so much pain towards the end she was so strong ... the strongest person I've ever known. She told me what would need doing after she was gone ... she knew that Hannah would soon be gone too even with us trying not to let her know. She didn't make a scene for Dad to have to live with in his nightmares. She told me how I'd have to handle him and the boys in their grief and how they'd say things they didn't mean but it was only because they were hurting. All those things but right at that moment it was Gram's comfort ... her cushion ... that I craved more than anything. I was tired of trying to do the right thing. I just missed being loved and held and accepted as is and for no other reason than I was me.

When the cup was empty I took it to the sink and rinsed it out. I looked at the cabinet that held my migraine pills and then jerked my hand back when I realized I'd been reaching for them. No way. I was a lot of things, still am, but an addict I refuse to be. I hadn't realized it but I must have said "No" aloud. I know I backed away because I wound up backing into something ... or someone.

I turned around fast thinking it was Dan coming back to try and convince me of something or other but it was Sloan. I backed away from him and around the table. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I probably stepped on your feet. Uh ... I'm just ..."

"Teaghan ..."

"Look, seriously Sloan. I'm sorry." My guilt over almost succumbing to the call of the pills had me rattled. "Whatever it is I won't do it again. I'm ... I'm just not up for a conversation right now. I think ... yeah ... I think I'll just go lay down in my room for a while and ..."

"I'll go with you."

"No ... it's ok. I can find my way up the stairs just fine."

"What?"

Rather than explaining and risk making a fool of myself yet again I beat a hasty retreat. Unfortunately I'd gotten used to sleeping in Sloan's bed and my bed no longer felt like it used to ... like it was home of sorts. I must have tossed and turned for two hours when I finally gave up and tried to think of something I could do around the house to get ahead of the day that wouldn't wake anyone up. I had a headache ... a plain ol' headache, not a migraine. I was sitting on the side of the bed when Cheeser jumped into my lap.

"Gah ... cat, if you didn't already have a bobbed tail you'd be in danger of getting one. How did you get up here? You should be asleep with your best bud Shotgun dreaming sweet kitty dreams."

I jumped a mile at the sound of Sloan's voice from the doorway when he said, "And you should be asleep too. If the cramps are that bad you should have said."

Cheeser jumped down and left the room. I wanted to call after him "Chicken!" but I didn't.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"And that's another thing ... stop apologizing all the time. It is irritating as hell. Now come on, I don't have all night. I'd like to at least get a little sleep myself if that isn't too much to ask Princess."

I didn't know what he meant but he reached out and grabbed my arm and he walked me back to his room and bed. I smelled his breath and knew he'd been drinking. My brothers did on occasion and so had Dad although my brothers' tempers were more changeable when they'd had a few. He pointed at the bed and told me, "Get in. Go to sleep." Part of me wanted to slug him with a pillow and the other part screamed for sleep ... the scream for sleep won.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 16​

Being tired or not it was time to get up, take care of nature's needs, and start the coffee ... in that order. I had the coffee going and pancakes making when there was a knock on the front door. I knew it wouldn't have been any of the men because they all knew at that time of the morning to come around back. A second knock and I took the skillet off the stove top.

There was a third knock, louder and more insistent. I ran to find Sloan but he was already coming out of the bedroom. I don't know why I did it but I ran behind him. I knew he was going to growl, I could see it on his face but then he didn't. Instead he brushed a piece of hair off my forehead and said, "It's probably just an early morning delivery. I was expecting one this week."

"Not if they were minding the curfew."

Sloan acknowledged my comment with a considering look then told me, "Stay here."

I saw Sloan go to the entry way and look out the peep hole and then he bit back a curse as it sounded like someone was trying to batter the door down with their hands and feet. Sloan yanked the door open then pushed the man who was there back and then closed the door with him and the man outside.

"I know she's here Sloan! I know she is! Chaundra!! Chaundra!! Get out here right now!!"

There was that name again. The boys were creeping down the stairs trying to listen in. "Hey you two!"

They jumped a mile and started to go back up the stairs until they remembered I was no one they were scared of. Silas said, "It's Uncle Jay. Guess Aunt Chaundra must have run off."

Dan came around the corner and said, "Boys ..."

They rolled their eyes but I noticed they did go back upstairs. I turned to go back into the bedroom when Dan said, "Sloan might need you."

"He told me to stay here."

"He still might need ..."

WHAM!! CRACK!!

I heard the boys yell in fear at the sudden noise as a fight broke out on the front porch, at the bang on the front door then the crack the railing made as someone fell against it. In my mind it was that day all over again only I wasn't by myself. Sloan was out there by himself. I rushed the door and was out on the porch before I even realized I had opened the door up. And I didn't stop then either as I saw a man swinging a knife at Sloan's middle and catching his forearm instead. I had my pistol out and aimed and not even Dan was fast enough to stop me.

"I will shoot you dead. I will shoot you dead and then feed you to the hogs if you so much as take one more step. You even breathe in his direction I swear I will splatter your ugly brains from here to the highway. I will ..."

All the other men that had run up at the same time stopped and looked at each other unsure what to do to defuse the situation. Sloan's arm was bleeding and that made me mad. I couldn't explain it to you then but somehow it congealed all the anger that I had been trying not to feel over what happened to my family and how my security - through Sloan - was being threatened all over again. And then there was the issue of Sloan himself. I was unable to even quantify that part of it. Josiah later told me I looked so mad that you could have fried an egg on my head and it would have burnt before it could be flipped to the other side.

The man dropped the knife and put his hands up. Dan and a couple of the men ran up and grabbed him, kicking the knife out of reach at the same time. They dragged him a few feet away but I tracked him with my revolver. One of the men in the ring around us called, "You better do something Boss, she's looking kinda twitchy."

I jumped when I felt hands at my shoulders, rubbing my arms gently and then sliding along towards my hands. "You're scaring the men Teaghan," Sloan said like he thought it was mildly amusing. "I won't get any work out of them today if you keep it up."

The blood on his arm really registered all of a sudden and I almost pulled the trigger. "He hurt you. He HURT you!"

"Whoa now. It's just a scratch. C'mon, you don't really want to fill my cousin full of holes do you?"

"I don't care who he is. He came here ... banging things around ... breaking things ... just ... like them ... and then he HURT you. I won't let ... I won't let ..."

"Ok Teaghan but it's over with now ... it's over. Take your finger off the trigger Sweetheart. It's ok now."

"He HURT you."

"Just a scratch Sweetheart. Just a scratch. Ol' Jay is just highly emotional. Poor guy ... got the family temperament but not the red hair to warn people of it."

And just like that I uncocked the revolver and put it back in its holster but then I made an absolute fool of myself by bursting into tears and grabbing Sloan so hard I nearly squeezed the air out of him. I heard but didn't really register Sloan telling Dan to get the coffee and sober Jay up with it. I refused to turn loose until Sloan picked me up and took me into the house. I was still in the throes of that awful day, reliving it, thinking of it happening to Sloan, wondering what would have happened if Sloan had been killed. I was shaking so hard I was almost sick from it.

"Oh gawd ... one day you're going to leave ... just like everyone else. Oh gawd."

"Shhhh. Hush Teaghan. I'm here now. Jay is an idiot ... and a half way drunk one at that ... but ... there's likely a good reason behind it."

"There is NO good reason. He HURT you. I can't stand it ... I can't. I can't do this again ... not again."

"Shhhh. Shhhh. Sweatheart. Hush now."

I'm not sure how long it took me to calm down and make sense ... a good twenty minutes if I had to hazard a guess.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh gawd Sloan ... if you didn't think I was crazy before you do now."

I tried to get up off his lap but he held me fast. "I don't think you're crazy. I think it has been underestimated just how frightened you were when that mob came to the farm. But I don't think you're crazy."

"I'm not a child no matter what you think. You don't need to pacify me or pretend. I've made another mess of things ... only this one is horrible. I could have shot your cousin. He's probably out there ready to call Mr. Burdock's men." I shuddered.

"Jay even thinks of causing problems over this and I'll cave his head in. This is an old wound acting up and I need to get to the bottom of it before the fool gets in trouble he can't be gotten out of. I want you to stay here ..."

"Wait. I'll go cook something. At least I'm good at that. I can ..."

"Teaghan ... I just need you to stay in here for a while until I get the story out my idiot cousin. I ... I would prefer you not hear some of what is likely to be discussed ... at least not until I get a chance to explain my side of it. It's a damn Hillbilly soap opera as it is; I don't want to have to undo damage that doesn't have to be made in the first place ... especially in the state you're in."

That shamed me. Still does. That I knew he thought I wasn't strong enough or that I wouldn't take his part. And somehow it had come to me that I would no matter what the story wound up being and that more than anything else is why I stayed there while he went to the office where Dan and his cousin sat waiting until Sloan had felt I was safe enough to be left alone.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 17​

"We've rolled Jay into one of the upstairs bedrooms to sleep it off," Dan told me. "Sloan would like it if you could meet him in the office."

I nodded but felt like I had when I'd had to go confess something to my father when he was working. It always made me miserable to think I'd disappointed him.

I was dusting the shelves when Sloan came in and shut the door. "Teaghan you don't need to do that right now. I'm not going to yell at you or whatever it is you have rattling around in your head to put that look on your face." He reached out and took my hand and said, "Come here. We need to talk."

My stomach dropped but I sat in the chair in front of the desk. Instead of sitting behind the desk as I expected he pulled the chair around so we were sitting side by side. He took my hand again and I just kept waiting for him to tell me I was a nut case and too young and that this morning had proven that it just wasn't working.

He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers and I wasn't sure what to make of it. "Teaghan I told you I was married before."

"When you were young."

He sighed. "Very young. We'd both just graduated high school and were barely eighteen. And don't tell me that's older than you are now because I don't need to hear the obvious and it already gives me indigestion." I nodded to let him know I wouldn't and he started over. "It never should have happened. I had just gotten my draft notice and we both thought I was soon to ship off so we jumped the gun for all sorts of idiotic, romantic reasons and against family advice on both sides. Tinsley was a sweet girl and we were in some serious puppy love and heat but neither one of us was mature enough for what we thought we wanted. Other people could see it but we couldn't. Then when I failed the health screenings ... not once but several times for each branch of service ... I had to come home with my tail between my legs and figure out things I hadn't anticipated having to ever figure out. It was a lot of stress ... on both of us. We were forced to grow up ... we just weren't able grow up together and in the same direction. We tried but in the end, it was part while we still had some respect for one another or get bitter and nasty and as bad as some things would get, neither one of us wanted that. I harbor absolutely no hard feelings against her. We both made a lot of mistakes we shouldn't have. She died during the pandemic leaving a little boy and a little girl for her sister to raise."

"That's sad," I told him still unsure what I was supposed to take away from it and where the woman Chaundra fit in.

Sloan looked at me and then said, "You remind me of Tinsley a little bit." That I didn't like. "Not a lot, but some. I've made the mistake in thinking you were more like Tinsley though than I should have." I didn't know quite how to take that. It could go either way.

I almost opened my mouth to ask but stopped when Sloan said, "My next great lust was Chaundra Fitzpatrick. She was as different from Tinsley as night from day. Chaundra was ... let me be blunt, Chaundra knows her way around a man. She was a sweet girl when she started out, but she'd had a bad marriage too ... much worse than mine had been ... and from that she decided that if she was going to get anywhere in life that she'd have to make the way herself. When I met her she definitely knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to do what it took to get it. That was what I was in the mood for at the time. Probably a lot like your brother Jeremiah."

"Ew." Then I cringed at how that sounded. "Oh my gosh ... I'm sorry."

He chuckled sadly. "Don't be. I look back at that time of my life and think 'ew' a few times myself. I was running wild and doing crazy things and taking chances I had no business taking. I felt bullet proof and liked it. Chaundra did quite a bit to keep me feeling that way ... only it's a good thing God looks out for fools because as it turns out that's what I was. Then my brother died and my mother got custody of the boys. She needed me around more and it took me a while to figure out how badly. Chaundra on the other hand liked me gone ... bringing her back things for which she expressed her gratitude for in ways I found wild and exciting. But I started growing out of needing wild all the time ... to be truthful wild started getting a little boring and ... well bothersome because it was getting in the way of other things I realized I wanted which was a more stable income stream and less running around from one end of the country to the other ... or at least less running around so far from home. Then I got shot ... in my cheek."

At his look my mouth fell open. "The one you don't smile with," I said remembering his words.

"Exactly. It tried to get infected and I got laid up. I expected to relieve the boredom with Chaundra's company one way or the other only she came by less and less and then suddenly she stopped coming at all. When I finally figured that out - and yeah, I know how that sounds - I got up, got dressed, and limped around town to find her. When I did it was in the last place I would have ever thought to look. See I'd kept Chaundra a secret from the family ... I didn't want to hear what they would have had to say about it and besides I was in town so seldom there for a while it is doubtful too many people would have known anyway. Do you know where I found her?"

I shook my head no.

"In my aunt's sitting room dressed and acting like a proper southern lady like the rest of that gaggle my aunt hangs out with. I thought she was playing a prank at first and was furious that my family was going to be the butt end of it but when she finally agreed to meet me afterwards I found out it was much worse. Seems she had gotten a taste for being respectable, had considered making me get respectable, but decided I wasn't the full package she was looking for. She set her sights on Jay and he'd already fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. She said if I messed it up for her that she'd let a few things out that could have destroyed my business ... I'd been fool enough to drop a few names of certain persons I did business with back then. What we were doing wasn't illegal but it wasn't exactly straight up either. We were working together in the bidding so that the price of the contracts on goods would stay low and then sell at the market rate to the public. Not being completely worthless I still tried to get Jay to see reason but he wouldn't listen and in fact took a hate on me. I probably would have done the same thing in his shoes. Then someone else came along and Jay found out I wasn't just talking but then Chaundra got pregnant on purpose and that was all my aunt and uncle needed ... there was going to be a wedding and Chaundra was going to be respectable."

I bit my lip to keep my mouth shut.

"It doesn't take a prophet to predict what a potential mess things were going to turn into. For a while Jay and I tried to keep things quiet between us for his parents' sake but Chaundra being Chaundra got bored and tried to stir trouble. Apparently me moving on irritated her and the ... er ... confines of her respectability were beginning to wear on her nerves. Chaundra likes her excitement she does. She started pouring acid in Jay's ear ... alluding to but never outright saying that she and I had taken up again. I think Jay knew even then she was lying but at the same time it ate at him. Yesterday the hussy left him saying she had some thinking to do. I read the letter myself as the lovesick fool brought it with him. She didn't outright say that she was meeting me to do some thinking with but she did write it so Jay would think it."

I made a face. "That's not nice at all. Look what could have happened. I take responsibility for my part but your cousin would have never been here in the first place if not for his wife doing what she did."

"Yep ... ripples. But I don't want you to blame Jay." The look on my face must have been enough because Sloan said, "I know Teaghan but the truth is, I have some responsibility in this too. I'm the one that made a fool of myself over Chaundra first. And I was wild as hell at one point and Jay has been making assumptions that might not have been too off the mark a few years back. I hung out with a rough crowd and led a wild life and ... well ... it’s a damn shame I didn't have more sense to stop earlier than I did. On that there's no one to blame but myself."

"He hurt you."

"And scared you."

"No ... made me angry."

"Teaghan."

"Ok ... he did scare me but I was angry too. Don't ask me to explain it. But you would have been gone Sloan. Just ... just gone."

He reached for my hand again and said, "But I'm not and let's just go from here."

"I'll ... I'll try hard but don't do that again."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't ... don't almost get killed. And don't smile about it. I promise you it isn't the least bit funny from where I'm sitting."

*****

Sloan's uncle arrived late that afternoon and the three of them spoke so long that I served them supper in the office and then made up another bed so he could stay the night. The next morning both men came down to breakfast which I served in the dining room because there was company. I had a platter of biscuits in one hand and a platter of sausage patties in the other and had to stop almost too suddenly when I all but ran into the boys who were looking for food.

"Please don't be foul this morning and mind your manners," I told them.

"We're hungry."

"You're always hungry. Did you wash your face and hands?"

"Of course. You won't feed us if we don't."

"Hmm, seeing as how much you like to eat I'll take your word for it. Do me a favor and take this to the table for the men so I can go get you something to drink. Milk or apple juice?"

"Milk," they both said. "And apple juice."

"One or the other not both. Whichever one you pick you can have the other with your snack later on."

The both agreed on milk and I went back to the kitchen. I set the pitcher of milk on the tray with the sorghum and preserves and gave one last look around to see if I had missed anything. The eggs were already on the table as were the grits and the butter. I almost stomped my foot when I spied the sliced apples I had cooked and made room for them on the tray after pouring them into a serving bowl in a hurry.

I was ready to take off at a run when Sloan filled the kitchen door. "Where are you at?"

"I know. I'm coming. I forgot the apples. I swear it is one of those mornings. Move so I don't drop this."

He took the too heavy tray from me and I turned back to start the dishes. "And now where are you going?"

"If you take the tray I can start the dishes and ..."

"Teaghan. Come. Eat. Breakfast. Now."

His tone said he'd make a scene if I didn't mind so I sighed and followed him feeling foolish not to be carrying something when he was doing all the work. At least when we reached the dining room I could busy my hands passing things around. Then I sat and tried to stay out of the way of the conversation.

No such luck. Sloan's Uncle JS - stands for Jay Sr. - immediately said, "It seems that there has been a bad misunderstanding."

Carefully, not sure Sloan would appreciate me saying anything at all I told the older man, "Yes sir. And I'm sorry for my part in it."

I'd lost my appetite, what little bit I'd had, and carefully pushed the food on my plate around until Sloan must have caught onto what I was doing. He reached out and covered one of my hands with his. I looked at him and doggone it I blushed. He smiled, patted my hand and said, "Eat. Uncle JS isn't mad at you. He's the only person living that could probably match you in being literal."

I heard the older man clear his throat and I kicked Sloan under the table but instead of getting the message he asked, "Ow! What was that for?"

I felt people staring so through gritted teeth I told him, "You aren't supposed to get sassy with your elders."

Sloan's eyebrows went up and Dan had to cover his mouth with his napkin. I heard the boys snicker and I rounded on them. "One of these days if you actually manage to outgrow your orneriness, you might just be in a position of being an elder and if you ever are there may come a time when you wish you'd been a little nicer to yours. Cause what goes around comes around."

Suddenly there was a big belly laugh that made all of us at the table jump. It was Sloan's Uncle JS. It took him a moment to contain himself then, wiping his eyes he said, "Welcome to the family Honey. And if you can teach any of them manners it will be more than their aunt and I ever managed. All of them are rascals. And these are some gooood biscuits. Is that sargum by any chance?"

"Yes sir," I answered passing it to him. "It is from last year's squeezing. It's a little strong though."

He nodded. "Like it like that. My grandfather used to make his own sargum. You go in shares or have your own set up here?"

I was careful to answer, "Dad and my brothers did it the same way the family always did it ... there's a sorghum mill on the property. We grew both cane and seed sorghum so that is what is in the ground now. Sloan will have to decide how he wants things done."

Sloan and Dan looked at each other then Sloan asked, "How much work is involved?"

"In which part?"

There was a snicker at the end of the table and I slowly turned to see Jay looking as surprised as his father at the sound that had escaped him. He mumbled, "Sorry 'bout that."

Uncle JS harrumphed and said, "Well if people would be more specific it wouldn't be necessary to always ask follow up questions just to figure out what you want to know."

Sloan chuckled and explained to me, "I meant in general."

"From beginning to end?" I asked. At his nod I said, "Well planting is no worse than planting any other kind of field crop. The seed sorghum is a shorter plant so harvesting is easier. The cane sorghum is taller. If you are using it for silage it isn't any more or less work than the seed type but if you are going to make sorghum molasses then you have some work ahead of you." I explained the process as I'd grown up with ... cutting off the seed head, stripping the leaves, cutting the cane, feeding it into the mill, then boiling the resulting green juice to where there was less liquid than sugar. "Once you start the boiling part it’s about the same as making tree syrup."

"Let me guess," Dan said scratching his head. "You did that too."

"Sometimes, but not every year. It depended on the weather."

"Sure does and that's just more work than I ever wanted to deal with," Uncle JS said agreeing. "I loved my cows, it just got so it was too expensive to run 'em. And now I've lived in town too long and gotten too soft to ever move back and farm full time." To Sloan he asked, "You sure you know what you're doing Son?"

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 18​

Uncle JS and Jay left midmorning after being shown around. Josiah eventually had to come get me to answer all the questions that were being asked about things. It wasn't just Uncle JS that was interested, Sloan and Dan asked a fair number of questions as well. I could tell when Jay started getting antsy as he kept looking down the road. His father sighed and admitted that it was likely time to leave.

"Well Teacup," Uncle JS said having taken to that silly name that Dan called me. "Welcome to the family, sorry lot though we may be. Hopefully next time I see you it will be under better circumstances and we can spend a little more time getting to know one another."

My uncles had been the same way only bigger and louder about their comings and goings. Hard headedness ran in the family. Uncle JS reminded me more of Gram's brother who used to come to visit before his arthritis made him bed bound. I whispered to Sloan, "Can I give them a bushel of apples or something to take with them?"

"Of course," he whispered back, pulling at a sweaty curl that had escaped from under the bandana I had tied to keep the dirt out.

I nodded at Josiah who brought a basketful that he'd been picking. He was grinning as he put them in the camper of the pick up. The reason he was grinning was because Sloan was being silly and making me blush again. All I had done was run to the house and bring back a couple of jars of apple preserves and a jar of sorghum to go with them since his uncle had seemed so partial to it at breakfast.

"See I told you," he said to his uncle.

I looked at him suspiciously and asked, "You told him what?"

"Nothing," he said with an all too innocent grin.

Refusing to rise to the bait I stepped back and then had to grin myself when the boys very importantly presented their uncles with a bag of worms to take home as well. "We wrote down the 'structions for Joey to have a worm farm too. We'll compare notes when school starts up. Bet we have more worms than he'll have. Bigger and juicier too. It's this clean, country living. I think town worms aren't going to be able to keep up."

Joey was another cousin similar in age to them by Jay's sister Rhonda.

After the two men left everyone scattered back to their respective chores and I was contemplating the state of the pantry and what would be needed if I was going to keep doing my job.

"There you are." Sloan had caught me staring.

I blushed and asked, "Did you need me to do something?"

"Yeah I do ... but I guess I've got a few days yet to wait." As soon as I puzzled out what he meant my face got even rosier. Then he sighed. "I was hoping Jay would apologize for upsetting you but ..."

"Upsetting me? That's not worth apologizing over. I just hope he was sorry for misjudging you." I shuddered not wanting to think about it again. "I guess lovesick people just do stupid things. I hope he has a contract though that says she can't take things from him if she decides not to come back. And what about the baby you told me about? Not that it is any of my business."

"The baby isn't a baby so much these days. He should be starting school in the fall. And marriage is a contract but it doesn't protect you from having to pay if things go wrong."

"The new ones do."

"New what?"

"Contracts. 'Cause the one I signed that married me to you has all that stuff spelled out. Didn't you read that part?"

He looked at me a moment then asked, "Teaghan, would you mind if I looked at what you signed?"

I shrugged. "My copy is in the contract file ... in the drawer marked LEGAL ... in the office. Didn't you get your copy of what I signed?"

He looked at me strangely but didn't answer before going to the office. I slipped my tablet from behind some of the jars - I'd rescued it from the waste bin where I had chunked it but didn't want Sloan to know - and opened it to a blank page and was counting up jars when Sloan came back. I tried to hide the tablet behind my back but I never was any good at getting away with things like that.

Slowly I held it out to him. He looked like he had a head of thunder and I was just hoping that I wasn't going to get struck by lightning. He took the tablet and then said, "Teaghan ..."

I looked up but he was aggravated at something but realized it wasn't at me still I told him, "I need to keep track of things Sloan. It's ... it's comforting."

"Don't beg like that Teaghan, it makes me feel bad. When I tweaked you about it I was just feeling unreasonable and foul and you got in the way of it. If you need to write things down then do it. I'll try and not give you so many things to feel so bad about you have to write them down."

"Ok. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. We need to talk. And don't ask what you did now because frankly I'm not sure yet that you did anything. I'm just confused as hell. C'mon."

He was confused?

I followed him back to the office were I saw Dan going over two sets of papers. Sloan pulled a chair out for me and I sat while he seemed to need to pace. "I've been hearing you talk about the papers you signed and what they said. I've heard you ask if I thought you were too stupid to read something before you signed it. I've heard you go on about those papers spelling things out for you. But I don't think I've actually been listening to what you've been saying. Teaghan ... those papers ... that contract ... my God ..."

I had no idea what he was going on about. "They're pretty self-explanatory. I ... I didn't sign them in the wrong place and mess something up did I? Mr. Burdock was right there ... he looked at them and made sure ... I mean I think he did ... oh no ... Sloan," I took a big gulp of air. "Aren't we ... aren't we married for real?"

"Huh?" At my horrified expression he came over and finally sat in the chair beside me. "We're married Teaghan. You're safe."

I relaxed but then tensed right back up. "Then I don't understand. What's wrong with the papers that has you so angry? Did you not get the farm after all?"

That idea bothered as much as the possibility that Sloan and I weren't legal had. Sloan nodded, "I've got it all right. I told you I had a lawyer look at it. But Teaghan ... Sweetheart ... I ... I assumed what I was signing was the same thing that you were signing. I never even thought to ask if there were addendums to the proxy because I didn't sign any."

I finally understood. "Oh. Well. Of course you wouldn't. You're not female."

"Excuse me?"

"Well I mean I thought you would have gotten a copy of it but I guess not. But it's ok ... Mr. Burdock explained everything. See I'm seventeen. I could get married without a legal guardian's consent but technically I still need a guardian of sorts for all the other legal stuff because I won't be eighteen until next month. I had to decide if I was going to marry you or go to the orphanage until I was eighteen and then have to start from scratch. As for the rest of it ... well ... because the husband - that is you - would be taking on such an extra responsibility and risk everything had to be spelled out so I wouldn't take advantage of the situation or, maybe not take advantage exactly, but so that I would know exactly what my duties and responsibilities were and so that I wouldn't ... you know ... get ridiculous and think I had rights that I don't anymore as far as the farm and things go."

Both Sloan and Dan were just looking at me. "What? Did I not explain it right? Did I miss something after all?!"

Sloan looked at Dan and then took my hand but it wasn't because he was mad or even because he thought I was being ignorant. "Teaghan ... those papers ..."

"Oh I know, it's embarrassing. Mr. Burdock ..." I shuddered. "Don't get me wrong. I think he was trying to be ... not kind exactly, or nice either, but he was making sure I knew down to the crossed t's and dotted i's what was expected of me in exchange for getting to stay with the farm."

"You signed all of that just so you could stay with the farm?"

"I ..." Then I stopped and thought about how to explain it to him. "Please don't take this the wrong way Sloan because I am really glad you turned out to be who you are. I was scared sick there for a while but mostly I couldn't think about it because I didn't have much time to decide and because my head was so full of what had already happened. I had a choice to make. I could either stay with the farm - and the only way to do that was to marry you - or I would be sent to the orphanage. I know this isn't my home anymore but even if does belong to you now it is the only home that I've ever known ... and it was in my family for generations. I'm not sure if I can explain it. I ... this ... gosh!"

"Take your time Sweetheart ... I need to understand."

"Understand? You can't. You ... you aren't a girl. I never got much news from town but I got some. And though I know it was wrong I also used to eavesdrop on Dad and the boys because I knew they kept things from me for ... for because they thought it was best I suppose, their way of protecting me, not scaring me with things they didn't think I was old enough to understand yet. All three of them had seen so much of the world, been in the war and all that, but the stuff in town still managed to bother them. They said the way the men were acting was wrong and they didn't always agree with how Mr. Burdock was trying to manage things and get things back to normal. But I can put two and two together. Being female isn't ... in some places it just isn't safe. Bad women ... women that keep choosing to lead certain ... I mean do certain ... things ... and don't straighten up ... well they are told to leave town or ..."

"Or what?"

"They go to work down by the river. And please don't tell me I'm going to have to explain that too."

Grimly Sloan said, "No. Are you telling me Burdock threatened you with that?"

"No! But he did explain how some women that didn't have the option that I was offered might wind up so desperate that they chose that life." I shuddered. "I'd rather die." I shuddered again. "And when you go to the orphanage, the day you turn eighteen you better have made some options for yourself because you get handed a bag with a change of clothes, a sack lunch, and a bus pass to the nearest big city so you can go look for work and start supporting yourself. That might work for young men ... but I couldn't see that working out too well for me."

"Hell no," Dan muttered earning a sharp look from Sloan.

"Sloan? Are ... are you ... mad at me? Or ... or disappointed or something?"

Sloan looked at Dan and with a toss of his head wordlessly asked him to leave. Dan closed the door behind him and I thought, "Oh no, here it comes."



"Don't look like that Teaghan. Hell, this is such a mess."

"Can I ask why?"

"Stop asking permission for everything." I sat there and just waited him out. Finally he got up and started pacing again. "Teaghan whether you believe me or not I honestly had no idea what was in that addendum. Dammit. I wanted the farm ... I didn't mean to get a slave to go with it. This is just a damn shame."

I didn't know what to say to that but apparently I wasn't supposed to say anything. "Dammit. How the hell do I untangle this?"

I gathered my dignity as best I could and squared my shoulders. "Those papers say that you can tell Burdock you ... you found me unacceptable. You ... you can just go tell him that."

"What?! Aw hell no." He sat down again and took my hand. "Hell, I forgot how literal you are. Look at me Teaghan. I'm not saying you made the mess or that it is your fault. But I'll be damned if it isn't my fault either. We've both been played. I knew some of the men on the BOCC had leanings and sympathies but I had no idea they were acting on them to this extent. I sure as hell didn't know Burdock was one of them. I've met the man's wife and daughter ... I never would have guessed."

"Guessed what?"

"Teaghan ..." He shook his head. "I've seen something like that contract you signed. But never seen it put to use in this country. And even at that the original contracts sure as hell weren't as restrictive as what Burdock forced you to sign."

"Nobody forced me to sign anything."

"Forced, coerced, used undue influence, scared you half to death with half-truths ... however it started the result is the same. You may have signed it without a gun to your head but if I had to guess you didn't feel like you could do much else and still be left with any kind of life. Am I right?"

I gave a single nod.

He got up and went to stand by the window. "Teaghan ..."

"Do you ... do you not ..." I stopped. "You know you have got to be the most complicated person. Look, I signed the proxy. I knew what it said when I signed it. I understand what all that jargon means. But if you don't want me anymore just say so."

"What I want to know is if you want to stay married."

I couldn't do anything but look at him. Finally I stood up. Then sat down. Then stood up again. Then just fell in the chair. "You make me want to pull my hair out. Why would you want to know if I wanted to stay married to you?! I just about killed a man ‘cause he had a knife on you! If that don't say I don't have a problem with you being the husband part of this equation what the heck will?!"

Sloan stood there with his mouth open, then he started chuckling which turned to relieved laughter. I swear I was ready to chuck something at him. He irritated me more than Jeremiah and Jason ever had. Finally he came over and sat back down and took my hands even when I tried to pull them back. "Teaghan ... when you're right you're right. Nothing says forever like threatening to shoot another man in the head and splatter his brains all the way to the highway. Now c'mere."

He pulled me up and kissed me full on the lips, like if I hadn't been on my monthly he'd have been shortly doing other things too. He came up for air before we both passed out and said, "This is going to take some time to wrap my head around. But I don't want you to worry. You'll always have a home here, that won't ever change."

Much to my sorrow I believed him.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 19​

July turned to August and I gratefully pitted the last cherry. They'd been abundant even with having to share them with the birds. The boysenberries gave out early which caused me some consternation as there seemed to be a ton of them one day and none the next. I later found out the men hadn't known the difference between boysenberries and blackberries since they looked so similar. I hadn't the heart to say anything though as Sloan was working them hard harvesting the tobacco and getting it threaded on sticks and hung up in the barn for curing. For many of the men farming was a new experience, one they weren't relishing; but in these days, a job is a job and it paid the bills between reclamation projects.

I felt like I'd barely gotten any plums though the jars on the shelves said otherwise. I think it was all the help from Charlie and Duncan who had taken an avid interest in preserving since it seemed it would cut way down on having to purchase groceries while they were out on sites.

By the end of August I felt I finally had some breathing room. Peaches were nearly finished and anything left on the tree was used for fresh eating. Same for nectarines. Celery was done and all but the bit that I set aside to can with in the fall and dry for seasoning went to market and brought a decent price. Gooseberries were done as well. Sloan asked me to make a gooseberry pie for Mr. Burdock every market day though he said it in such a way as to make me understand it wasn't to be nice but kinda as a way to keep close to where the information came from.

Almost lost the pea crop when someone forgot to shut the goat pen. If I hadn't smelled the billy we would have lost most everything instead of just two rows. I canned and juiced blackberries by the gallon despite the foraging done by the men but even that abundance petered out as the month progressed. The grape harvest was only so-so but there were years like that even with my mother's tender, loving care of the vines and only God could have changed it.

The sorghum used for silage was piled and covered with about a quarter of the crop being saved for canes to make molasses. And Sloan and the rest of them learned for themselves how much work it could be. With that over the grain sorghum was being watched carefully so that as soon as it could be harvested they'd set to get it before the birds.

We were all so busy and yes, some of the men complained of the work, but I found it restful. My body may have been exhausted each night but my mind grew peaceful and I was able to relax. Not even having Sloan away for a day or two here and there changed how I felt. He would be gone all day for market days but he was also out looking up reclamation projects. He did have to venture further afield than he wanted to but I overheard him and Dan mention it was because the BOCC played favorites too much in this county.

Then September rolled in. Summer's furnace was giving way to the more moderate weather of early autumn. The last of the potatoes went to market as did the last of the cantaloupes. Cucumbers and zucchinis had been so abundant that I was more than happy for those vines to finally cuke and zuke their last. Strings of peppers hung to dry and I also canned and pickled quite a few. The raspberries almost didn't make an appearance though I did get some. The grain corn was in the silo, the cotton picked and off to market, and the winter wheat seed put in the field.

I wrapped the dessert pears in papers as fast as Josiah brought them to me. The canning pears got treated like the apples with some staying but a good many of them going to market. We weren't just taking apple cider to market now but light pear cider as well. Sweet potatoes were being dug and the first bright pumpkins were brought in with the men begged for pumpkin pies even though it wasn't anywhere near Thanksgiving. For a while I was drying watermelon more than I was making cookies after the boys discovered what a treat it was. Hard heads ... it took forever to get them to even try it but after they did they somehow came to the conclusion that it was their treat and their treat alone that I had designed solely for them. They'd get absolutely outraged if anyone got into their stash of the stuff.

The boys started school as well. I offered to try and homeschool them for Sloan since I still had all of my old books but he wanted to see how the boys did being around other boys their age - hardly any girls went anymore and those that did had their own classrooms and teachers on the other side of the school - and it would give him a chance to see what their teachers thought of the changes in them. They only got in one fight early on and Sloan refused to punish them for it. They'd ratted out a couple of boys that had been planning to play some nasty, dangerous trick on the girls. It was supposed to remain a private matter but then one of the teachers ratted them out and the boys became a target ... but a lot less easy one to take aim at than expected. Farm work had made them strong, flexible, and clever ... or so the boys that jumped them found out. They also had enough cousins still attending the school that they never walked the halls alone.

The teacher that had been involved was suspended without pay pending an investigation but left the county after word got around to some people that still took a dim view of the segregation that was going on. They suggested that perhaps the state needed to be brought in instead of local investigators and I suppose that was enough at that point to cause a mild correction within the administrative end of things.

It was towards the very end of the month that Sloan asked if I'd like to take a ride.

"Where?" I asked while I wiped jars of home-canned tomato juice to put away in the fruit cellar. I was thinking he meant to go look at the back forty or something like that.

"To the store." I looked at him a moment trying to figure out if he was making a joke I didn't understand. I hadn't been beyond the borders of the farm since before the pandemic and had almost forgotten that it was even possible. I must have looked at Sloan funny because he smiled. "I never met a woman before who would turn down the chance to go shopping."

'You're not ... joking or something?" He shook his head so I asked, "Uh ... you ... you sure that's a good idea?"

He leaned against the door frame and smiled the smile that I had come to identify as one he reserved exclusively for me. I tried not to think about that too much but I'll admit - since this is a confession - that I had come to count on getting at least one of those exclusives smiles every day. He said, "I would like you to go riding with me. If we get to the store and you don't want to go in we can stay in the truck but I would at least like to know that you had the chance. Josiah said yesterday you were a restful kind of woman because you never ask for anything. I realized he was right. You've never once asked for anything."

I shrugged, embarrassed despite it only being a fact. "I don't need anything. Even before I think about maybe it being nice to have something it just shows up out of those magical boxes of yours. You're a fairy godmother on wheels ... or ... er ... I mean with boxes."

Sloan laughed. "That's all well and good but those boxes are shortly going to have to go the way of the produce and get shipped to market. Hard year or not, the stores usually restock for the holidays and I've got some choice goods at reasonable prices. Isn't there anything you want?"

Unbidden the idea of lemon drops entered my mind. Dad and the boys used to give them to me if they'd had a good day at the market and I hadn't had any since the previous year. They were my favorite candy both for their flavor and the nostalgia attached to them.

"What?"

I jumped because something must have shown on my face. Sloan was constantly teasing me, saying that he could read me like a book. The truth was he couldn't but it bothered me that he could read me as much as he did. "It's nothing."

"C'mon ... You gonna make me guess? A dress? Hair doo dads? A slinky new nightgown?"

OK, he was going too far and getting silly. "I told you, it's nothing. Just ... just lemon drops."

He stood there looking at me the said, "You'd rather have lemon drops than a dress?"

"I don't need a dress. Dresses are for going places you dress up. And though I try and change for supper time it would be kinda ... unnecessary ... to get really fancy when everyone else is barely out of their sweaty clothes. And before you start naming other stuff I don't have any other needs. You fill all of them before I even think them."

He opened his mouth and then closed it slowly. "So what's the story with the lemon drops?"

I shrugged and told him. "But I'm not a child Sloan. I don't know why they popped into my head unless I was thinking about the boys asking for lemonade yesterday. Apparently they thought that stuff I fix is really made from lemons so I had to explain that lemons were too costly and that I made it from sumac and miscalled it lemonade. I feel like ... maybe I had been telling them a lie but I didn't mean to."

He popped me on my hind end making me bobble a jar and give him a foul look. "I could have dropped a jar. Half-gallon jars are almost impossible to come by since they stopped selling them by catalog so I don't know how we could have replaced this one."

"One, you weren't lying to the boys any more than I was. I knew you couldn't have been using lemons ... to me that's just marketing so stop worrying about it. And two, at least now I have an idea why you were crying when that jar got knocked into the sink and chipped. I didn't understand what the fuss was about at the time."

"I wasn't crying, I was just upset. And there wouldn't have been a fuss if you and Dan hadn't acted like I was nine-tenths crazy just because a jar chipped. That was a gallon jar and now it can't even be used to hold dry goods because the threads are broken.

I moved as he tried to swat me with his cap again but all it did was back me into a corner where he got "the look." It gave me the giggles which made me want to swat him because when I get the giggles they are awful to get rid of. "Stop it!"

"No. I like to see you smile instead of being so serious and practical all the time. And if it is lemon drops you are craving then it's lemon drops we'll go get."

"Oh Sloan ... I'm not craving them ..."

"Stop being practical for once and let's go have some fun."

"We're having fun every time I turn around. It is a wonder I can stay awake during the day because of it."

He looked at me strangely then started laughing and shaking his head. "You say the damnedest things when I least expect it."

I poked him in one of his more ticklish spots. "Look, I may not be all sophisticated yet but I can admit between the two of us that just because I don't work as hard at it as you seem to, that doesn't mean it isn't fun when you get 'the look' at night."

That only made Sloan laugh harder. At the time I hadn't a clue what I'd said but looking back I can see that while I may have been physically mature and had other attributes that made me a good farm wife, I had areas where I had some growing to do ... or perhaps where I was stunted would be a better way of putting it. When you've lost so much it is hard to place trust in things and especially people. When you can't have trust you don't have the ability to reach certain levels. I think what has happened since makes me wish I had never opened up to people. On the other hand so many good things wouldn't have happened if I hadn't. Dad would have called that a Catch-22. Call it what you will it still hurts and makes me know that I'll be relieved when this all ends as it’s been promised to.

But that day I couldn't have even imagined the future to be what it has been. Looking back as I spend the hours writing this I see so many places where another path could have been taken. That ride to town was one of them.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 20​

"Teaghan, breathe. It's just the highway. Am I driving too fast?" Sloan asked half-jokingly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "No. You drive faster on the farm sometimes."

"Then what?"

"It's ... it's just been a long time. Things look the same yet ... not. I ... I hadn't realized so many places were ... were going to pot like this."

"How long has it been since you've been off the farm?"

"Didn't I say? I thought I had. I can't remember now," I told him looking around at what was once a thriving farm community but now looked more like I don't know what but something closer to what I saw in history books in what they used to call third world countries and what Gram would have called White Trash Ville.

"Well?"

"Huh? Oh ... uh ... before the pandemic. That's how we knew that it had to be the man that delivered the propane that brought the pandemic to our place when my grandparents got sick with it. More than likely it was the guy from the funeral parlor that brought it and gave it to everyone else on the farm during the second wave. He was a bill collector ... only instead of leaving with something he left us something."

"Hell ... has it really been that long?"

"Yeah." Looking around I asked, "How could things be like this and me not know it? How? I knew they were protecting me but what good purpose did it serve to not ... Sloan I'm not a child!! They should have explained things!"

Sloan pulled over and pulled me close. "Easy there. They were only doing what they thought best. And, God help me, you were still a child not that long ago. I may not have done it quite like they did but that doesn't mean I can't see what they were going for and why. Maybe we should go back home and ..."

"No!" I snapped pushing him back. Only I'd shocked myself and quickly apologized. "I ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I just mean ... no ... I need to see. No wonder you're always saying I'm immature."

Sloan pulled me back into his embrace and said, "Whoa now. Don't exaggerate. I'm not always saying it, I said it a couple of times and it's been a while since I said it at all so do me a favor and scratch that off your infernal list. Frankly now that I know more why you are like you are and understand you better I wish I hadn't said it in the first place. It sure as hell didn't help matters then and it didn't really apply, and it doesn't now either. You're ... just a little different in how you see things, and with reason. C'mon Sweetheart, don't hold it against me forever."

I looked at him in surprise. "I've never held it against you. It's what you think and you should be allowed to think things without me always telling you what those thoughts should be ... even if they are about me."

He kissed my forehead and put the truck back in gear and pulled back onto the highway. "Well I'm glad to hear it. But I still want you to forget I ever said it. And I want you to do it so we can go back to having a good time. C'mon," he cajoled.

I tried to smile like he wanted me to but I was still too busy looking around and seeing things that no longer existed imposed over the top of things that did. "This is just ... it is so hard to ... I keep expecting to see things that used to be there and now aren't and seeing things I don't remember being where they are."

I saw Sloan nod out of the corner of my eye. "Happens to the best of us. I'll go someplace on business, leave, and then come back at some point down the line and things'll be so different I'll have to pull out a map to make sure I'm in the right place. Reclamation has done some of it, so has population centers being moved around. Alot of municipalities are simply bulldozing down areas of town to push people into places that are easier to get services hooked up to."

Curious I asked, "What do they do with all the empty ground they leave behind?"

"Usually nothing ... it gets turned into 'green space' or empty buildings are simply left to rot. But sometimes they'll allow neighborhoods and communities to take the spaces over and turn it into a park, playground, community center, or garden. Sometimes that works and sometimes it just creates more headaches."

"They don't build anything to replace what's gone bad?"

"Nope. There's a moratorium on new construction in most places. You can build things for your personal use, assuming you can get a permit, but big construction projects are a thing of the past ... at least for now. There's too many empty buildings, not enough people willing or able to do the job of reclamation."

"That means you'll have your business still for a long time."

"Not necessarily. Heard just the other day that they are thinking of taking all the young men that would have been absorbed by the military and creating some kind of civilian workforce, similar to what they did during the First Depression. The problem is that it would have to be publicly funded until it could pay for itself and given how easily the government tends to screw things up I don't see that happening as quickly or as easily as the people proposing it see it. Not to mention the government tends to generate too much waste and doesn't stick with the principles of a market driven economy."

I could understand it when Sloan explained it but I've yet to be able to anticipate things the way he could. Then he caught me by surprise which he did pretty regularly with his latest idea. "What would you think if I told you I put a contract on the property that runs parallel to the road into the farm?"

"The ... the old Turner place?"

"Yeah. For no experience your brothers did a good job of reclaiming the house sight ... cleaned it up pretty damn good in fact which is something I don't see as often as I wished ... but it isn't the house site I want, it's the land."

"What do you want the land for? You keep saying you aren't sure how you are going to manage what you already have?"

"I have to set up a separate company."

"For?"

"Hemp."

I gave it some thought. "My brothers wanted to do the same thing right after they removed the prohibition on growing the stuff but the BOCC blocked their permits. Do you think you can get around Mr. Burdock?"

"Got their permits blocked did they? Well that explains why they didn't claim the land rights." He grinned and I noticed a twinkle.

"That look on your face is saying something ... I'm just not sure what."

Sloan chuckled. "I think Burdock and his crowd are running into some problems they didn't foresee." I just let him decide when he was going to explain because traffic had picked up. Out of the corner of my eye I kept seeing people glancing at me and then doing a double take. It was distracting. "One, I think they overestimated the appeal of the way of life they are trying to set up. Pretty much why the worst of it has been confined to Brooker. Two, that state law on imminent domain is now working against them. That land, what you call the Turner place, was sold to a contracting company I know of. I also happen to know that company is in a serious cash crunch. I also happened to find out that they already got industrial hemp permits from the state. Met with the owner of the company when I was out surveying the next site and he'll sell me the land AND the permits if I'll pay cash within 30 days."

"That's ... that's got to be a lot of money," I whispered.

"Not as much as it could be and yeah, it'll stretch me but I've got five back to back sites lined up that are already paid for and contracted out."

It sounded like a done deal to me and he wasn't really asking my opinion so much as he was wanting to be told how good of a deal it was. When I told him that he looked like I'd surprised him but still asked, "You don't think it is a good deal?"

"If the numbers run anything like what Jeremiah, Jason, and Dad had me work out it is a real good deal even if you have to pay current prices on the land. The make or break will be how much it will cost to put it in the ground and how much it will bring at market."

"Not worried about labor?"

"No ... hemp can be combined so long as you set the blade at the right height. I know the older of the two combines will work so long as you use a shorter, early ripening variety. If you plant a dual purpose short variety then you can harvest for both seeds and fiber."

"Damn."

"What?!" I asked suddenly nervous that I'd said something wrong.

"Nothing Sweetheart, not really."

"Then ... then why are you upset with me?"

Sloan snorted. "Not with you. Dan and I keep ... aw hell ... the truth of it is I just ... you don't strike a person as ..."

Puzzling out what he was trying not to say all I could say was, "Oh."

"I didn't say anything, why the long face?"

"You didn't have to say anything. I figured it out. Sloan I can't help if ... if ... Look, I am what I am and who I am. I can't be the sophisticated kind of woman you are used to ... or at least I'm not yet ... but ... why can't what I am be good enough? I know farming. I know I'm not a man and you'd probably rather talk about stuff like that with a man but ... I do know things that could be useful to you. Didn't you agree to marry a farm girl for that reason instead of asking for a town girl that would know about ... sophisticated things?"

"Honey, the truth is I wasn't thinking with the head above my shoulders at the time. I was simply tired of being lonely at night and I thought that it couldn't be a bad thing to have a farm girl as a wife if a farm was what I was buying."

When his words registered all I could say was, "Oh. Ok." I can't say that I hadn't thought of that being the truth but at the same time in all the weeks that we had been together it had never been spoken of that way. But thinking about something and having it admitted out loud was different.

To distract myself I started looking at the scenery again. It was as depressing as my thoughts had suddenly gotten.

"Teaghan?"

"Hmm?"

"That might not have come out ... well ..."

I shook my head. "No. It's ok. You know I'm practical. Besides, I know ... I've always known. What other reason could there be?" I gave a bright smile and I think it surprised him. "At least the 'pig in a poke' you bought has turned out to be useful. Right? I am that?"

He muttered, "Two steps forward and three steps back."

I was going to ask him what he meant but two cars started trying to run us off the road.

*****

I'd like to be able to describe what happened over the next few minutes but it all happened in a blur. But the bottom line was Sloan was good. He'd had to drive through some rough areas - urban to rural - and knew all the tricks. He also knew where the county line was and where the Highway Patrol liked to hide.

We were all pulled over to the side of the road; us, the two cars full of young men, and what felt like eleventy dozen cop cars.

I was wiping blood off of Sloan's face when another of the State Patrolmen came over. "Sir, here's your license. Do you need medical assistance?"

"No."

"You're very calm."

Sloan pushed my hand away and then told me to stay in the cab of the truck. He shut the door so I couldn't hear what they were saying clearly but even with him turned away from me I could tell by the set of his shoulders that Sloan was really angry. And when I saw his face reflected in the windshield of one of the Highway Patrol cars my estimation of his feelings went from anger to fury. The look on the Patrolman's face didn't change exactly but it did become very set and his lips thinned out.

Then they both turned in a hurry when one of the young men took a swipe at one of the other Patrolmen ... who turned out to be a Patrolwoman. To say she put him in his place the hard way pretty much sums it up. A couple of the other young men tried to take off into the field and they were brought down and banged on too. I tried to fade into the upholstery. I remember thinking that I was a fool for ever having left the farm.

 

[john70]

"Next time kick me so I'll listen. Now let's go find those lemon drops."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 21​

I was getting hot with the windows rolled up and was very grateful when Sloan came over and opened the door. "Dammit. You're roasting."

"I'm ok."

"No it isn't ok."

I put my hand on his his where he was wiping my face. "Sloan I said I'm ok ... not that it was ok. The way those men were driving they could have hurt you." I closed my eyes and shuddered. "I don't like that at all."

He chucked me under the chin and gave me the first grin he had since he noticed the cars following us. "Not my idea of a good time either Sweetheart. However..."

"Mr. Williams?" It was the Patrolwoman. "I need to have a word with her," she said pointing in my direction. "Privately."

"Sloan?!"

"Hey, take it easy. They probably just want a statement. Just tell the lady what you saw. I'll be right over here. OK?"

I squared my shoulders and nodded, determined not to make a scene or a fool out of myself. As Sloan stepped over to answer something one of the Patrolmen asked him I asked her, "What exactly can I do for you?"

The Patrolwoman looked at me then crossed her arms. "Are you being threatened or mistreated?"

"Huh?" My facade of confidence faltered. "Sloan drove really well and then ... well I don't know which one because y'all kinda all look the same with your uniform and glasses on ... but anyway, two then three of y'alls cars made those other two cars stop what they were doing. They could have hurt him you know."

"You're from Kiln Ridge? Is that right?"

"No. Sloan's from Kiln Ridge. I'm from Totsie right outside of Butler Brook. Only I guess you mean ... well, I guess that makes Sloan from Totsie too since ..." I sighed. "I sound ridiculous. Can we start over?"

"Why? Aren't you able to keep your story straight?"

I ignored her penetrating stare and answered, "Because I feel just like a kid does when they get asked out of the blue to give a report up in front of the class only they forgot to do their homework." I sighed once again, gave the address of the farm and asked, "That's where we live. What else do you need to know?"

"There's no need to be afraid Teaghan ... is that how you pronounce your name? I'm only here to help you."

"I'm not afraid exactly. And yes, it's Teaghan. It came from some radio show my mother was listening to while she was in labor with me. Teaghan Serenity Williams. Serenity is some show my father used to love from the dark ages. The Williams is because I'm married to Sloan."

She gave me a careful look and asked, "How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"I can check on that you know."

"Go ahead though I don't know why you think I'm lying."

"Let me be blunt, and all I want is a yes or no. Is the man you are calling your husband abusing you?"

"What?!! No! How could you ask such a thing?! How awful!"

Sloan must have heard me getting upset because he was suddenly just there. "Easy Sweetheart. They don't know me from Adam. They're just making sure everything is on the up and up. Don't get upset. It's pretty standard procedure around here."

"But why?"

He opened his mouth, then shut it and sighed. "Teaghan, just answer the lady's questions and don't get so upset."

"But ..." Then it clicked. "Oh ... because of the pandemic. And how some men have been acting like donkey's behinds since then."

"Something like that." He looked over my head and said, "Her father and brothers kept her pretty isolated. She has an idea of how things stand but ..." He shrugged as a way of finishing his explanation.

I looked at him and he got a very innocent look on his face. I didn't say anything aloud because I didn't want to embarrass myself but I wasn't too happy about looking like a know-nothing kid in front of everyone else.

It took what felt like forever but all the questions were finally over with and just in time. Two more cars showed up and one of them belonged to Mr. Burdock. He took one look at what was going on and told the two older men in the other car that it would be dealt with after the "boys" were taken to the county lock up. That's when things got interesting.

"You'll have to have your lawyers go to Patrol Headquarters in Hyattsville to start with."

"Excuse me?" one of the men asked who it turned out was the father of one of the young men.

"They will not be going to County, they've been directed to other holding facilities for further questioning."

"What? Which one?"

"After they are booked, they get one call. They can choose to use that call to notify you of their whereabouts."

"I forbid you question them before they have a lawyer present."

The patrolman shrugged. "Not my purview. Each of them have at least one outstanding warrant out for them already ... from other counties and two from across the state line. This incident is just one of several they are being arrested for. Like I said, they'll have one call. They can use it to call you or not, up to them."

"Dash Calhoun is seventeen. His father will need to be present."

"Actually Calhoun's warrant specifies that due to the severity and nature of his charge, he is to go to an adult holding facility until the state prosecutor determines whether to have him tried as an adult. He'll get his call just like the others."

Mr. Burdock walked over to me and looked down his nose. "Teaghan what are you doing here?"

"Mister wanted to go for a drive and he wanted me to go with him."

The patrolwoman was suddenly standing next to me. Mr. Burdock's face became carefully neutral. "Teaghan I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding. The boys let their high spirits get out of hand."

"Hmmm. Not to be rude Sir but that wasn't high spirits. They could have hurt Mister. All you have to do is look at the truck and the driver's door. They were trying to push us into a ditch. And a couple of them had their guns out and shouting stuff. I couldn't understand exactly what they were saying but it was something about sharing so they must have thought we were carrying something they wanted. They were acting just like the mob that killed Dad and my brothers. And they aren't boys either. If you are old enough to pick up a gun and aim it at someone then you are no longer a child."

Sloan came over and put his arm around my waist. "She's had enough of this. A man should be able to take his wife out without being run off the road for it."

I thought that was a funny way to say it but I didn't interject. The young men were starting to get the idea that things weren't going to go their way. Two of them tried to make a scene but were quickly subdued with what looked like a cattle prod handle that had them squawking and obeying to keep from getting poked again. The father of one of the men started to get loud but Mr. Burdock said coldly, "Enough. They took part in an ill-advised activity, there are consequences. After McDermott bails them out I expect a full report concerning what these other warrants are for. It looks like this isn't the only ill-advised behavior on their part. Shoddy operation ... very, very shoddy. A man should be able to control his children Roberson. I am not pleased at all."

*****

Finally we got to go but instead of making a U-turn and heading back to the farm Sloan continued the direction he had been going. "Sloan?"

"Don't. I promised you a trip to the store and that is what we are going to do."

"Actually I was going to ask you if your head hurt. Your eyebrows are all scrunched down."

"I'm fine ... pissed but fine. And what's the idea of calling me Mister back there?"

"Oh. Habit I suppose," I said nonchalantly. "It is what Gram called my grandfather when there was company around."

"Now you listen ... Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. Mom picked up the habit from her and I guess I'm just continuing it. If you don't like it I won't but they always said it was respectful to your husband."

"Welll ... you don't have to is all I'm saying."

"OK. I'll be ... er ... careful about it."

We drove a few more minutes and then Sloan picked up his phone. "Hey I need ... What? Slow down, I can't understand you. How the hell did you hear about it? No we're fine. They hauled them off and it sounded like they weren't going to be anywhere Baumgarten could get to them. Yeah I'm sure. I know, tell me about it. Look, do me a favor. Can you pick up the boys? Yeah." He nodded his head. "Yeah you might want to do that. I got a couple of stops to make then we'll swing by and get them. Yeah, and give me a call to let me know. Thanks."

Sloan looked at me then asked, "Were you serious about being willing to homeschool the boys?"

"Sure. But I thought you wanted them to be with boys their own age."

"Did. Do. But I have a feeling the State is going to get very interested in the school pretty quick and the boys can be ... unpredictable ... when they get stressed out. They're going to kick up a fuss but ..."

"Maybe not as much as you think. They don't really care for most of their teachers and think most of it is boring. One or two subjects are ok but most not so much. At least on the farm you can track what they are learning. I read the history book they are using and I have to tell you, I found a lot of ... hmmm ..."

"Errors?"

"That would be the polite thing to call 'em."

Sloan slowed down to turn into the parking lot of a strip center. He looked over at me. "You've got more going on upstairs than you are being given credit for don't you."

I looked at him and then sighed and said, "I can put two and two together Sloan. Mr. Burdock isn't the nice man I thought he was. He was Dad's friend - though maybe friend isn't the right word for it - but I've never been very comfortable around him even when I was little. And Hannah was scared of him."

"Interesting. You weren't?"

"No. Because I heard the boys telling Hannah one time that they'd kill anyone that tried to hurt her or any of the rest of us. The way they said it I knew they meant it; they'd just returned stateside and were still half crazy. I knew Dad would be the same way too, but the boys could be mean about things like that ... kinda like you I think only you're more reasonable. The boys weren't always reasonable, and it wasn't always because they planned to be like that. They put up with Mr. Burdock but that was about it. Mr. Burdock put up with them too but that was about it. Dad was the one that kept things smoothed out. He had to because of Mr. Burdock being on the BOCC and being able to make things hard on us to make a living. Dad wasn't a bootlicker, but he was ... circumspect."

"Circumspect is it?"

"Don't make fun."

"I'm not," he said in a more relaxed voice. "I think though that instead of disappearing after you bring Dan and I tea in the office that you might like to stay."

My mouth fell open and I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I used to sit with Dad and the boys every night," I said carefully.

"Yep and I think it wasn't just to be decoration or to fetch and carry or to play scribe. Am I right?"

"I ... uh ... I told you I helped."

He grinned. "Next time kick me so I'll listen. Now let's go find those lemon drops."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 22​

"You can't be having any fun doing this. I remember Mom saying Dad hated shopping."

"I'm not your Dad," Sloan said thoughtfully as he looked over racks of things in the third store we'd been in. "For me this is research. Better research means better profits." I just looked at him waiting for him to explain. He glanced my way then stopped and told me, "I'm checking what the mark up is and what is moving and what isn't. Gives me a better idea of what to sell my inventory for." Turning back to the merchandise in the store he muttered, "Damn ... the prices of some of this stuff. Either I'm getting ripped off or the customers around here are ... I know this stuff is reclaimed so someone is making a killing."

Curious I asked, "How do you know it is reclaimed?"

"See the sku ... the inventory tracking number? See that code there? It's required by law on re-sales which is what reclaimed property is considered even if it was brand new to begin with."

"Oh ... I can help with your research."

Sloan snorted then thought better of whatever sarcastic answer he was about to give me. "Don't take this the wrong way Sweetheart but you are the kind of customer that stores hate to see coming." He said it like it was a new discovery. "You're too practical and you're holding onto my wallet like you dare anyone to even think about asking for money out of it."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I'm not that bad ... and even if I am what's so horrible about it? You work hard for your money. I see you sweat buckets every day and stay up late working with Dan. It would be a sin to just waste what you work so hard to get."

He grinned and said, "But I miss being objectified. Didn't you get the memo? Women are supposed to be after men for the presents they can give them."

I frowned. "You are in a silly mood. Shopping is serious business. You take inventory at home, have a plan, make a list, and keep to your budget. If you don't do that today then you might not have any of that to do tomorrow."

"Ok, that's it," he said with a wicked glint in his eye. "You are now going to pay the consequences."

"What are you doing?" I whispered in horror as he started taking a bunch of women's lingerie off a table. He'd pick something up, look at me, shake his head and put it back down. "Stop it! People are starting to look."

"Let 'em. On second thought maybe not. I'm the only one that gets to look at you."

"Oh my gawd what has gotten into you? We're in public!" I hissed trying to make him stop as he went over to a rack of even racier items. I finally pulled him away and got him calmed down. "You are just ... I mean ... you better be glad I like you too much to bash you like you deserve."

He blinked like he was surprised and then grinned. "I'm a baaaaad boy."

"You sound like a goat, now behave."

For the next couple of shops he kept to his research. He wouldn't pester me about buying something so long as I didn't pick anything up so I made sure to keep my hands off no matter how tempting it might have been to touch. He was going to bypass a store until I saw what it was. He asked, "You wanna go in there?"

"I just want to see what the prices are."

"Teaghan ... if there is something you need."

I cringed then admitted. "Female ... stuff. I've only got a couple of months' supply left."

"How did you handle this with your father? From the sound of things ..."

"Ohhhh don't. It never came up so you just drop it."

"If it didn't come up then ..."

"Mom always had a lot laid in because with the three of us at home ... well it isn't like we could just go running to the drug store you know."

"Actually that's a good idea ... anything else you're running low on? Even if we don't get it today I can stay on the look out for it at the job sites."

I mentioned a few things and he wrote them down on his note pad but I was happy to see that the pharmacy actually had several items on my wish list ... mineral oil, citric acid, peroxide, epsom salts, and such. I nearly passed out when it was time to check out but the guy behind the counter looked overjoyed as he kept ringing things up. And when Sloan paid in certificates instead of scrip the guy looked like he wanted to reach over and kiss him. I had to bite my lips to keep from giggling at thinking what the look on Sloan's face would have been if it had actually happened.

The stores weren't busy so we drew more attention than I would have liked. Apparently Sloan started to feel the same way but he seemed determined to find lemon drops. He asked the man in the next store where Sloan bought the boys new belts and he said, "Sure ... Hattie down at the end. And since it's Thursday you might get some good deals if you have certificates. She always starts her new batches on Friday and gets rid of what stock she can before hand."

We walked down there bypassing several stores that might have been interesting to go in had I really needed sewing notions, house linens, or working in a store or office kind of clothes. But when we got to Hattie's I wasn't at all pleased by the prices ... even the so-called discounts. I also wasn't too happy with how snooty Hattie herself was. I don't know what I had imagined but it certainly wasn't what she was. With a name like Hattie and operating a sweets shop I would have thought she would be a granny or motherly type and as sweet as her confections. Try just the opposite. She was dressed like a professional lady in a magazine. Long legs, long neck, and a long nose she looked down at me with.

She sighed like she knew she was wasting her time and asked, "May I ... help you?"

"No," I told her succintly. I turned to leave but found Sloan looking around. The dollar signs must have been showing because Hattie's shop guard was bearing down on him ... until he spotted the bags that Sloan was carrying, then he stopped and signaled Hattie who said without even looking at me, "I'll be back in a moment."

I thought sure you will and just stood back to watch the show. I'd seen Sloan schmooze a couple of people that had come to the farm to look over his inventory and had learned to enjoy following him as he did his job. In short order he had Miz Hattie conversing with him as an equal, discussing inventory, cost of delivery, mark up, overhead costs, and all those other things that I had listened to Dan and Sloan discuss at night at the supper table before slipping off to the office where they discussed it some more.

From behind me a voice said, "Hattie is good isn't she?"

I turned to find a guy about my age - he would have been draft material if they'd still been doing it - and I shrugged. "Sloan is better."

"No way. Hattie can sweet talk anyone."

"We'll see. Is she your sister?"

"Sister? Are you kidding?! She's my boss. My job is to clean the shop and back area and there's a couple of other guys back there that make all the junk for out here." He got an extremely admiring look on his face, one that bordered on lovesick, and said once again, "She's great. The best."

I chuckled like I was going to let him go on thinking what he was thinking. Of course I didn't feel like chuckling but I wasn't going to let anyone else know that. Hattie was good. Yes Sloan was better, no doubt in my mind, but I'd finally gotten my first glimpse of "sophisticated" and it made me sick to my stomach. I also got a glimpse of how much Sloan liked sophisticated. I continued to smile when I shrugged and moved to leave the store. I saw the guard give me a hard stare - probably checking to make sure I wasn't walking off with anything - and then I slipped out the door.

Out where no one would notice I looked at myself as I passed the plate glass windows of the empty store next door. I was wearing one of Gram's dresses. I had thought I looked nice - or at least considerably better than I normally did in my work overalls - but compared to Hattie and the other women that were walking around in clusters or with a man I looked ... well I looked pretty awful, like someone playing dress up out of the attic boxes; which was pretty much exactly what I was doing.

I guess I stood out there almost an hour when finally Sloan came out in a hurry. He looked all over before he saw me and stopped short appearing relieved. He cleared his throat and said, "We need to go pick up the boys."

"OK."

We got in the truck and after Sloan put the the bags he'd been carrying in the storage area we took off. We were silent for a while then he said gruffly, "She was out of lemon drops."

"No she wasn't. I saw them behind the counter. She wanted an arm and a leg for them though and it wasn't worth it."

Aggravated he asked, "Well why didn't you say anything?"

"You were talking business with her. I never interrupt when you're talking business."

"Business? Oh ... uh ... yeah. Actually ..." Then he fell silent before saying, "I lost track of time. Talking with other business owners who sell to the public lets me know what they need. Then I keep it in mind when I'm looking for reclamation sites to bid on. Easier to have a good potential customer than to hunt one up after you already have a boat load of stuff to get rid of. Anyway I looked at the clock and ... how long had you been standing outside?"

I shrugged, "Pretty much as soon as you two started talking."

"What?!"

"I told you ... I don't interrupt when you are talking business."

"What were you doing all that time?"

"Standing. Trying to stay out of people's way. Trying really hard to not look like the fool everyone must think me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I wished you would have told me that I looked ... like I look before we left the farm. I didn't mean to be an embarrassment."

His tone of voice said he knew exactly what I was talking about. "I ... Teaghan ..."

"Whatever it is, don't say it; I don't need the excuses. You keep thinking I'm ... I don't know ... some brainless ninny that you have to baby. Maybe I'm not sophisticated but that doesn't make me stupid Sloan. And it doesn't mean that I don't have eyes in my head. Or that I can't read the expressions on other people's faces. Or that I can't recognize sophisticated when I see it." I stopped and shook my head. "There would have just been less trouble all around if I had stayed on the farm where I belong."

"Don't start feeling sorry for yourself."

"See that's the thing you don't understand Sloan. I don't. I'm fine with me being me. I'm not so fine however being measured against sophisticated and feeling humiliated. Next time ... don't pretend or omit the truth or whatever you want to call it for whatever reason you did it." Looking at what appeared to be a ramp up to a fight to distract me from what I knew to be a valid point I told him, "And you might as well give it up. My brothers would get in a mood like this, try to cause an argument because they didn't like when I got something right for a change ... and I learned how not to give them one. I'm not going to fight with you. The facts are the facts."

*****

We were silent all the way to where Uncle JS lived. Apparently the family owned a cluster of houses in a cul de sac. When we pulled in the boys came running then stopped short when they saw the damage to the truck. I got out and told them, "You're uncle is fine. He's a really, really good driver."

They looked like they wanted to fire a bunch of questions at me then stopped and said, "You look funny."

"I know. I made a mistake. It won't happen again."

"Good. 'Cause ... you look funny."

A couple of older girls were there and were starting to squawk at their cousins for being so blunt but a handsome woman came walking off the porch of one of the houses and barked a laugh and said, "Well boys, you certainly hit the head of that nail."

"Aunt Chaundra," the boys said suddenly moving to stand in front of me.

"What's wrong boys? Aren't you going to introduce me?"

I was in a rotten mood and it had just gotten more rotten but I tried to remember what Mom had taught me to do when faced with someone being intentionally nasty. I smiled. "Oh that's alright. No one needs to introduce you. You're Chaundra ... Jay's wife. Right?"

She blinked.

Jay walked over in a hurry like he was too used to having to clean up after her but I just gave him a smile, this one as real as I could muster in the mood I was in and said, "Hi Jay. How is Uncle JS?"

"Oh ... er ... he's fine." He looked over my shoulder and in some relief he called, "Dad! Teaghan is asking how you're doing."

I turned around and heard Jay telling his wife to behave and not cause trouble. I walked over to Uncle JS who was looking rather serious. "Are you OK?"

"Yes sir. Sloan is a good driver."

"So I heard you tell the boys."

We couldn't stay much longer. I only got to get nods from the rest of the family as Sloan hustled us into the truck. I sat in the back of the extended cab earning a glare from Sloan. Calmly I told him, "The boys are upset. They need to see you are ok."

The boys peppered him with questions all the way back to the farm but finally calmed down as we drove in the dirt road. Dan and several of the other men were on him as soon as he opened the truck door and while Sloan went over the story again I ushered the boys inside, got them a snack that would hold them until supper, and then went to change.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 23​

I was back in my overalls and carrying the dress back to the attic as fast as I could. I'd managed to go through a few things up there but I'd made the mistake in keeping a couple of what I had thought were Gram's prettier dresses out to use just in case. The dresses were still pretty in my mind, but they'd have to show their prettiness while packed in cedar chips and lavender from here on out. Making a fool out of myself once was once too many.

Dressed more appropriately I continued my chores and fixed supper. The boys were both tired out from having extra play time with their cousins. They were also a little shocked to find out that there would be no school the next day and starting Monday they'd be homeschooled. Internally they warred with themselves trying to decide whether they were happy they'd never have to answer to those teachers again or upset that they wouldn't see the other boys. I planned on them staying busy enough that they wouldn't notice either one too much.

The boys headed off to bed a little early and Sloan and Dan headed to the office. Sloan still hadn't said a word to me. Of course I hadn't said a word to him either. I'm not sure it was a battle of the wills to try and get the other to bow or just both of us being hardheaded and being determined to be right regardless of what the other did. Pride was wound up in there too, I'm sure. I can claim I had inherited my hard-headedness but that is still no excuse. Maybe if I had expressed my anger - and yes jealousy - better but I'd never felt jealous before; at least not like that. But as jealous as I was, I was also angry ... and it wasn't at Sloan but at myself. I felt ten kinds of fool and not just over the way I had dressed.

None of those papers had said anything about Sloan having to have any fidelity towards me as far as sex went ... financially yes, and a few other things but not where sex was concerned. I had to be to him - which wasn't a strain regardless of what people have thought - because frankly I simply haven't considered anything else possible. I made a bargain and I intend to keep it to the bitter end. To me breaking that would not just be immoral but completely gross and disgusting.

I was angry because I had - despite swearing that I never would - built up some kind of fantasy where Sloan and I were concerned. I didn't and don’t call it love, not even then was I daydreaming enough for that. But I had thought there was something there ... something more, even if I couldn't put a name to what the more was. Yet my first time off the farm in years and all I saw was just how unlikely that was. I'd been painting a pretty picture in my head and ignoring the facts. Me who prided myself on being practical and nothing else. It wasn't Sloan admiring a woman that bothered me ... Hattie was a beautiful specimen and on top of that held similar business interests as Sloan, was someone he could talk to. It was the fact that I had allowed myself to believe in a fantasy.

As was the habit of the household I put a pitcher of tea together and took it to the office. I was turning to leave when Dan stopped me. "Teaghan, I didn't get a chance to ask but are you OK? You ... seem a little quiet. Those men ..."

"Oh that. I'm fine. It was Sloan that almost got hurt when they slammed into his side of the truck. He's a good driver and tricked them into going into that speed trap thingy the Highway Patrol has."

"How did you know about that?"

"I just figured. I've heard you and Sloan telling the men not to get in trouble and to watch out for certain places. Then I heard Sloan telling one of the Patrolmen that he'd been hoping they were there since he'd seen them in the area a couple of times. I don't know ... two and two I guess. Did I get it wrong?"

"No," he said with a smile. Then he glanced at Sloan from the corner of his eye. I guess Dan figured something was going on and was trying to figure out what. He asked me, "What's your take on what happened?"

"What do you mean my take?"

"What do you think they were after?"

"I don't know," I told him thinking he was asking a weird question. "It's not like there was anything valuable in the truck besides Sloan's wallet."

"Nothing?"

"No. I mean I guess they could have recognized his truck and thought he was carrying something. I know they were yelling something about sharing. Did you have trouble last time you went to the market?"

Dan turned full to look at Sloan who was looking at me like I'd lost my mind or something. "Well," I told him not liking being thought a fool. "How am I supposed to know? It's the only thing I can think of to account for what they were yelling. What surprised me was the way Mr. Burdock was acting. Of course, maybe he was surprised they'd behave that way since they were the sons of some men he obviously knows. I know he wasn't happy that's for sure."

Sloan finally spoke, his voice cracking. "Why do you say that?"

"I guess you didn't hear but as he was walking away to get back in the car so his driver could take him wherever next, he told those two other men - the fathers of some of the young men there - that what they had been doing was ill advised ... like maybe they had already been given advice not to act like a donkey's back end ... and that he wanted a full accounting of all of the other warrants out for those men from the places outside the county. That was what he seemed surprised at the most ... that they'd gotten in enough trouble in other places to have warrants ... and what he seemed most angry about ... the not knowing about that part of it." I shook my head. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say? It just seemed ... off ... in a way I'm not sure how to explain."

They both just kind of looked at me so I shrugged and told them if they needed anything to push the buzzer ... a handy dandy little set up that Sloan rigged up because he got tired of bellowing or hunting all over when he was looking for me. Sloan said it was like an old-time pager and worked through the comm waves. He could push some numbers on his phone which had full comm capabilities, and I had this little keypad that would buzz when it got the signal. I could then push a number on the key pad and it would let him know where I was. And where I was going to be was the basement putting away the stuff that Sloan had bought that day.

I hadn't been down there long when I heard Dan and Sloan up in the kitchen and they were arguing. "What the hell Sloan? Don't tell me that's not what you were doing. I've seen you do it a million times to make a deal."

"I wasn't making a deal. I was gathering information."

"Yeah, and I've seen you do that to."

"You gonna tell me it doesn't work and that I shouldn't do it?"

"Hell no, that's your business. But in front of Teaghan?! She's your wife man. Why do you think Sally and I got a divorce? She said she was tired of wondering and getting her face shoved in it all the time."

"I thought you told me you didn't do anything."

"I didn't. But after three years I've finally managed to cool down enough to see it from her side ... at least some of it. Look, I'm the last one to be giving marital advice and we both know it but at least listen to what I'm saying. You take her off the farm for the first time since God knows when, you do it because you say you want to give her a treat, you nearly get killed by those idiots - and you are going to have to explain a few things to her before too much longer and you know it. And then instead of using sense and coming back here you go on ahead and keep going 'cause you had a plan and wanted to get some research time in and use Teaghan as a distraction."

"That sure worked didn't it?" Sloan said sarcastically. "The woman knows absolutely nothing about shopping."

Dan laughed though I didn't see anything funny about it. "You mean she just didn't shop the way you expected her to, all giddy like a kid in a toy store. You know, you gotta get it out of your head. Teaghan isn't Tinsley and she isn't Chaundra ... and she isn't some kind of crossbreed of the two either, so you need to stop expecting her to act like either one of them ever did. And as for that, did you even ask her to help or were you just going to use her?"

"I just wanted her to have a good time."

"That sure worked didn't it?" he asked throwing Sloan's words back in his face.

"I didn't mean for those idiots to get things into their heads and chase us!"

"I wasn't talking about them. I'm talking about you used that poor kid as an excuse to stop at that strip center to make it seem like you were there doing family shopping so you could do your research without the stores' security getting wind of it."

"I got the boys new belts."

"Uh huh ... and what did you get Teaghan?"

"I tried dammit but all she wanted was lemon drops."

"Did you get 'em for her?"

"Shut up."

"Yep, that's what I thought. You got busy doing your thing and she got hung out to dry."

"What the hell man? I thought you'd be on my side."

"I'll tell you what the hell. You claim you're taking Teaghan out as a treat but we both know it's just an excuse and you're lying to her right off the bat. In the process you nearly get run off the road. Teaghan is clueless about why. All she sees is that 'you're a good driver' and she seems to be satisfied with that. She doesn't pitch a fit like most people - man or woman - would under those circumstances. You blew it off 'cause you figured that was a good thing, if she doesn't understand all the easier on you. You went on and used her to do your research because it was more convenient. Then as icing on the cake you flirted with a woman in front of your wife you jackass and she hasn't had a hissy about that either. And all you can be is pissed off at her because she doesn't know how to shop? Get your head out of your back end Sloan and look at it for what it is. You screwed up ... six ways from Sunday you screwed up. What all progress you've made is gone. Even I can tell her walls are back up. Oh she's polite and everything else but it's back to like there's nobody home on the inside ... she's just playing at being a real person but she's back to being a robot. Maybe one that's had some practice but there's no life to it. You telling me that's what you want?"

"She'll get over it."

"Dumb ass. She's barely more than a kid although I suspect her head is screwed on a lot better than we think it is. She picks up on things so damn fast I don't know whether to be furious at her family or admire them for being able to actually keep her out of it as long as they did. When she gets a little older, she's going to be a damn fine woman ... assuming you don't destroy her."

"I have never ..."

"Aw shut up Sloan. I might work for you but we're friends first and I'm telling you ... as a friend ... fix this because I do not want to see you as unhappy as you are going to wind up being if you do not. I had my doubts about this working out ... serious doubts ... until I got to know the girl. You got a bargain Sloan ... sure she's a diamond in the rough and she will never be what you seem to think you need, but she's still a diamond. Instead of appreciating her for who she is and how little trouble she causes you you're mad because you keep finding out how much she's worth and it looks like you're worth less to her in the process ... like that hemp deal you have going. You could have saved us some work if she'd been in on the planning."

"I already tried to tell her today that she was welcome to sit in with us."

"I didn't see her do it. I didn't see you offer or remind her either. You were too busy being pissy. And if you're gonna start feeling sorry for yourself let me help you along with something else for you to think on. She could have kept this farm and run it if she'd had some help with the labor. She knows it inside and out. She'd have had to lose some innocence along the way but that's gonna happen one way or the other. Winds up it doesn't look like she really needed you for that. She had enough cash to keep the farm going which she turned over to you without a squeak and without being asked ... I don't know anyone else living that would have done that, I sure as hell wouldn't have. And what's more she ain't in love with you either boy so get over yourself and deal with it. You can't work her and charm her ... not unless she lets you."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You know how hard it is to get her to warm up? Damn. I've never had so much trouble in my life. She acts likes she's never ..."

He stopped and Dan gave a nasty snicker. "Dumb ain't the word for you Sloan. Of course she's gonna act like she's never. My guess - and you don't even have to tell me - is that her Dad and brothers kept her locked up so tight St. Peter himself would have had to provide certified credentials from God before he got near her. You think she'd still be this clueless of what is going on in town if they hadn't completely isolated her out here?"

Sloan sighed. "Yeah. Yeah she'd never ... until our wedding night. But she ain't exactly ..." Whatever he was going to say he didn't. I still wish he had. I'm still curious.

Dan snorted. "Wake up man. You've had it too easy with women. You need to come join the rest of us that actually have to put some effort into getting what we want. I know this isn't what you're used to, but I haven't exactly seen you try all that hard to get her to feel something for you either. You probably put more effort into flirting with that candy woman than you ever have with Teaghan. You married her, like it was some huge sacrifice, and now you just expect her to be all you want. How about you turn it and look at it from her side. You know how I see it? I see she compromised because she looked at her choices and you just happened to be the best one of the lot, but I bet if she'd had a little more time that maybe she would have come up with a different option for herself and been able to tell Burdock where he could shove it. And hah! I can see you don't like that idea one bit. You thought she'd come to think of you as her knight in shining armor ... and it turns out the last thing that Teaghan wants is a fairy tale."

"I don't need this hassle Dan. I got a lot of damn important things on my plate right now."

"Have it your way man but don't say I didn't warn you. But if I was in your shoes ... because I have been and screwed it up and wish I hadn't ... I'd put a little more thought into what your wife sees when she looks at you and what you're doing. And I'd knock off flirting with the customers when she's around. Good way to find yourself sleeping on the sofa. Where's she at anyway?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Did that glass of JD go to your head already? The buzzer man ... give her a call. Check on her. Let her think you care."

"Hell no .. no chance. She's probably just outside hanging out with the animals."

"Better hope she ain't thinking about hanging out with the men. There's a few of 'em that wouldn't say no."

"What?! Teaghan wouldn't do that. She has to make herself be around any of them."

Dan gave a frustrated sigh. "Sloan I say this as a friend ... you're an idiot. Let's go find your wife so you can stay out of trouble."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 24​

After Sloan and Dan went outside I decided that I didn't want them to know that I'd been eavesdropping so I left the basement quickly and made my way up to the attic. I didn't turn the light on but sat on the trunk and tried to calm my swirling thoughts. I was still sitting there an hour later when the buzzer went off. I took it out of my pocket and almost decided to ignore it but then I punched in the code for my location before I could give into petty temptation. I'd learned growing up that that kind of behavior only had a limited and short-term satisfaction.

A few minutes later there were boots on the stairs. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm right here where I told you I was when you buzzed."

"Sitting in the dark?"

"Sitting in the dark."

"Doing what for gawd's sake?"

"Thinking. There's something going on. Something that has been going on since before my Dad and brothers were killed. I'm puzzling out what it is on my own since too many people have now proven themselves to not trust me with the truth ... apparently even my own family."

"Don't give me tha ..." He stopped when what I said registered. He had to backtrack because I obviously hadn't said what he had expected me to say. "Er ... It isn't a matter of trust Teaghan."

"Well at least you're honest enough to admit that I'm right. But you're wrong about the rest of it ... it is very much a matter of trust."

"Now Sweetheart ..."

Letting some of my irritation show I asked, "Is that what you fall back on every time? Trying to sweet talk me ... and everyone else too? I'm not a customer Sloan. I realize now you don't think much of my intelligence but doesn't it ever get tiring trying the same old thing that never gets you anywhere? Why don't you try something new ... like giving me a little credit? It doesn't have to be much ... but just a little might be all it takes."

Obviously affronted as my words Sloan said, "Well you're in a hell of a mood."

"Yes I am. And unless ..." I bit down to shut myself up.

"Unless what?" he snapped obviously hearing the run up to a threat.

I shook my head. "Nothing. I don't want to go there. It's bad enough I've got to live in this cage, I don't need to make things worse for myself by acting in a way that I'll be ashamed of later."

"A cage is it? You're free to leave any ... time ... you ... choose."

I looked at him in the dark. I sighed. "Your copper hair is showing. But I suppose if that's the way you feel I don't have much choice. It's not like I've ever had much choice. Not really."

"No you don't," he snarled and with no doubt as to what he meant.

He slammed down the stairs leaving me pretty numb and heartsick. I had known that my connection to the farm was pretty much gone in all but the most practical sense. I worked, cooked, kept house, played wife ... but whatever that tangible something was that had connected me to it seemed to have disappeared. And the artificial connection that had been my marriage seemed to have disintegrated as well if it had ever been there to begin with. I got up off the trunk and walked down the stairs.

I knew taking off in the middle of the night was a childish thing to do and would get me nowhere but I definitely needed some air; and I needed neutral ground where I could think, plan my next move. And then I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I put on my holster and grabbed my jacket because the nights were turning cool. I was putting some extra ammo in my pocket and then I felt the buzzer. I took it out and looked at it and tossed it onto the table. Apparently he didn't care so neither did I. I grabbed a canteen, filled it, then eased quietly outside. I had no idea why I had to go there so badly all of a sudden, but I just knew I did.

*****

I know the lay of the land on the farm like I know my own hands and feet. I could follow my brothers and they never even knew I was there, even after they'd grown in experience and training from being in the military. If the land was an animate and living object, then I think it liked me. I always felt safe, somehow grounded, protected. But I was losing that. I sensed a change. It had started the day the mob had come to the farm. Something foreign had invaded and started an infection. Having managed to string a few things together, I gave into a brief moment of pity wondering if I was the infection.

Then I shook myself. I was being ridiculous. I kept walking to burn off some of the pity party and to think. On the other hand, I didn't just plow through the trail I was following. It took me about a half hour but finally I reached my destination. The three newest grave markers clustered around the others that were also new but starting to show some weathering. I cleaned up the family cemetery for about an hour until my fatigue and the dark finally breeched the dam I had put in place to hold back my emotions. I gave into a few tears but that's all I allowed myself. I knew it was time to head back and I decided to do so on a different trail. I also thought I had finished figuring out what was going on. I was both shocked at my conclusions and shocked that I hadn't come to the conclusions earlier. The final connections had come as I thought about who all had died with my family that day, and who had done the killing, and who ultimately had been left in power afterwards.

I was cutting across the creek when I heard the engines. I wasn't much further along when I heard the nasty laughter and the shouts. Suddenly it was like my brothers were by my side. "Quiet Tea and stay low. Don't walk in the moonbeams Dodo Bird, you'll make yourself a target. Be as quiet as you can ... quieter. Be like Watchit and glide ... don't clomp along the trail." I crawled along the fence line until I could see what was going on.

"Send out the woman! You've had her long enough! Time for the rest of us to have a turn!!" Lots of nasty laugher followed.

Someone else shouted, "Give us the woman or we'll take the boys ... don't make no difference!"

There were other nasty things said but they amounted to the same thing. I wondered where Sloan's men were because there was no way I was going to be able to deal with this on my own. With all eyes focused on what was happening around the house it was easy for me to make it over to the barn.

There were men guarding it and I could see cans of fuel sitting near the door in the headlights of a parked jeep. Jason's voice whispered, "They didn't set a guard. They were all asleep inside to stay out of the weather. It was too easy for these men ... but maybe that'll work in your favor. They are too confident. Look at the mistake they've already made ruining their night vision with those highbeams."

Jeremiah's voice snickered, "Remember how you and ol' Boone would sneak up on us no matter how we tried to hide to have a smoke? Figured no one could tell in a tobacco farm but you, Dodo Bird, you caught us every time even with us watching the road and the barn door."

I didn't smile but I nodded. Boone and I had been good at getting into and out of places. I guess it is true when you get to Heaven you get all your questions answered because while they'd been on earth the boys never had learned how I did it. I went to the back corner and belly crawled to the place that Boone had dug out. It wasn't quite as easy to get to as it used to be but I got an eye full nonetheless. Two men were inside the barn with rifles that looked similar to what my brothers had brought home from the war and they were aimed at the men who all sat with their hands on their heads. I was trying to decide what to do when I heard the men told to get outside, that they were gonna take the house.

I heard Jason and Jeremiah both say, "It's now or never Tea. Get the men out, they're gonna light the barn the same time they try to take the house. The shutters will stop them for a time but you need to get moving."

I popped up and hissed, "Josiah!"

He had gotten used to me appearing suddenly but he still jumped a mile and so did the other men. But they got the message real quick when they heard sloshing and smelled fuel. When everyone was out I said, "Grab a tobacco stick and go whale the tar out of those men. Don't let 'em set the barn on fire, we'll lose the tobacco and we need it to cover winter expenses. When you're done come on over to the house and lend a hand."

I sped off into the night knowing I didn't have much time. I was flanked on one side by Josiah and on the other by a man called Denton. Josiah shook his head when we stopped and I tried to open my mouth. "Boss will have our heads if something happens to you so don't try and tell us nothing but what you've got for a plan."

Bluntly I said, "Kill 'em. Kill 'em all."

Denton looked shocked but Josiah just nodded. "Good idea but we ain't got a gun."

Gun fire erupted from those surrounding the house and the need for quiet no longer existed. "Hang on and I'll get you some."

Jeremiah's voice tsked, tsked in my ear. "Fools, the lot of them. You don't attack on a bright moonlit night. Idiots that big deserve to meet the Maker." I agreed and every bullet from my revolver hit its mark with a great deal of surprise and consternation from both the dying and the ones still standing.

I would have preferred had Josiah and Denton help me to put the enemy in a crossfire, but they stuck to my side like annoying burrs. Then the rest of Sloan's men joined us. Not a single one of the enemy was left standing when the shooting was finished.

About halfway through Sloan and Dan had come out of the house to help when they realized what was going on. As the sound of the last shot faded and quiet descended on the farmyard I said, "Josiah, get the tractor and put the bucket on it. Get it over here now so we can get this cleaned up before anyone else shows up."

Sloan limped over as fast as he could and said, "Where the hell have you ..."

I rounded on him and shouted, "I have had it! We are going to have a talk about you constantly getting almost killed! Just where do you think the boys and the farm would be if something happens to you?! And look at you. You look like hamburger! I wanna know right now who did this to you!"

Sloan just stood there staring at me. I'd completely knocked him off his pins. Dan walked over and said, "He tried to give himself over when they threatened to burn the men up."

I shook my head in disgust. "Figures. Men."

I turned back to the rest of them. "Don't just stand there. Start stripping the bodies down ... weapons, ammo, clothes, all of it. Put it all in crates only label them something else like women's lingerie or pickled eight-legged hairy monsters... something, anything. Those that aren't doing that go to work on those trucks. Strip 'em down just like the men. I suspect they've already disabled the black boxes but make sure."

One of the men whistled and said, "Look lively boys, Captain is on deck. Put your backs into it and heave ho."

There were a few more comments like that from those that were former soldiers but I noticed I didn't have to say anything else as the whole of it took on what I imagine the feel of a military operation would have.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 25​

"A septic tank?"

"You got a better idea?" I asked Sloan.

"No, as it happens I don't. And at least this one," he said pointing to the open cap of the tank at the old Turner home site. "Won't contaminate the farm's water supply."

With some satisfaction I agreed and told him, "As they decompose they'll fertilize your hemp crop. Some justice in that."

The bodies of the enemy nearly filled the tank. Dan came up carrying a bag of lime and a bag of quickcrete. "Lime will go in before the cap. Then we'll smooth this over and fill in around the inspector's seal. You'll never be able to tell the seal was broken since it was set such a short time ago."

Sloan asked him, 'Everything else finished?"

"Yeah. Denton and Clayton got every vehicle down to parts faster than I thought possible. Guess the rumor about them having been part of a chop shop operation as kids has some truth to it. Josiah just called and said the boys are pretty upset. Maybe you two better get back and let us finish up here. Only have fifteen minutes left ... tops."

Sloan refused to ride in the bucket of the tractor and asked me to walk back with him. I shrugged. My adrenaline was gone, and I was exhausted just like everyone else. I'd had about all I could take. Leaving the farm, all the changes I saw all over, the men, the strip center, Sloan, finding out just how big an idiot I'd been, some personal revelations ... I was ready to walk off and leave him and let him limp back to the farm by himself if he started anything.

The sound of the tractor faded leaving the normal night sounds. We just walked, not talking, then right before we turned the bend in the road so that we could see the house in the first pink rays of morning he stopped. I walked a few more steps then stopped as well.

"Get a stone in your shoe?" I asked.

"No." He shook his head. "Where were you?"

I wasn't going to play stupid so I admitted, "Getting some air. Thinking."

"I ... I was worried. You left the buzzer on the table. I couldn't find you in the house at all then that crowd showed up."

"The buzzer wouldn't have worked where I was."

"Where was that?"

"A place that I could think ..."

He sighed then asked with quiet intensity, "Were ... were you with someone?"

"Not the way you're thinking. But thanks for that on top of everything else."

"Teaghan ..."

"Anything else?"

When he didn't answer I turned and at first I thought he was fooling but as he fell, like a puppet that had had its strings cut, I got to him barely in time to keep his face from digging up gravel. "Sloan?"

I checked and found several lumps on his head and face in addition to the other injuries I'd seen earlier. I looked behind me and saw the headlights of Dan's truck and flagged him down.

Dan stopped, took one look, then asked, "Did you have to knock him upside the head to get him to see sense?"

"If that had been my intent I would have let him hit the ground."

"Too bad."

*****

"Knock it off Syd. You too Silas. My head is killing me."

"Aunt Teaghan says you aren't allowed up and said we have to make sure you don't."

"Since when do you take orders from her over me?!"

"Since she promised us a watermelon pie if we watched you so she could bring the laundry in."

Sloan squawked in outrage but I smiled in grim satisfaction as I walked in. "Good job boys."

"Where's my clothes?!" I indicated to the boys they should escape while there was opportunity and they scampered with wicked grins while Sloan shouted, "Dan!!!"

I told Sloan, "Forget it. He's outside and has instructions not to rescue you no matter how much noise you make."

"I don't need rescuing. I need my pants."

"No you don't. In fact, you don't need what bit you do have on either. Come on and take a bath so I can finish cleaning and patching you up."

More squawking and a copper-headed tantrum followed until he finally ran out of steam midway through. Getting him out of the tub was not fun for either one of us. I dried him off and got him back in bed. "Teaghan ..."

"I'm going to get you some broth and you need to eat it so you can take something for the pain. Then you need to rest and let it work."

"Teaghan we need to talk."

"No."

I'd caught him off guard again. "Excuse me?" He acted like he'd never heard the world before.

"I said no. Until I'm sure I can believe what you're saying talking is a waste of my time and yours."

He made the mistake of trying to cross his arms but wasn't able to, even without the gesture he still was able to sound mulish as only a man can when he said, "Well I'm not eating until we talk."

"Then you aren't getting anything for the pain." I turned and left the room.

Some creative cussing followed me out. It got even louder when he realized I had taken everything out of the room but the thin sheet on the bed. Dan was in the kitchen trying not to laugh. "Being a little hard on him aren't you? You'll pay for it later."

I shrugged. "He can't have the pain pill until he eats otherwise he'll just puke it up. Do Charlie and Duncan need anything?"

Dan snorted. "Even if they did, they won't come near the house. The Boss' temper is legendary."

"Compared to my brothers he's a cake walk so far. I expect he'll get worse before he gets better however. Anything spotted on the highway yet?"

"No General."

I gave him the same look I had given the boys not too much earlier when they had picked up the new nickname some of them had started to call me. "Knock it off."

Dan snickered again. "Sloan is gonna have a blast with this facet of your personality. Where you been hiding it?"

"Nowhere. It's always been here. I told you Dad and my brothers wanted me to be able to defend myself. Now ..."

"Now ... I want my damn question answered."

I turned to find Sloan leaning hard on the archway that leads into the kitchen barely holding up the sheet he had wrapped around him. The patches of skin showing where the sheet didn't cover were turning dark blotches of red and purple. He really had been pummeled.

Giving him a stern look I said, "I don't know whether Jeremiah and Jason would have killed you or thought you were a long, lost brother. All three of you certainly remind me of the same portion of a donkey's anatomy. Are you ready to eat?"

"I want ..." He tried to step forward in righteous indignation but tripped over the trailing end of the sheet and nearly fell. I waited to see if he could catch himself and he did, only I saw a look of real pain slice across his face. "Do you want to puncture a lung? Because if you break those cracked ribs that is what is likely to happen if you keep this up."

"Don't care," he rasped out.

"Well you better start caring. You've got responsibilities. What do you think would happen to the boys if you were gone from their lives? There’re men outside that depend on you for their livelihood. And the farm. Whose hands would it fall into next? You don't have the luxury of playing this kind of game anymore. You're too valuable a player in too many people's lives."

Dan skedaddled, and Sloan snarled after him, "Traitor!"

"He's not a traitor," I told him. "He's your friend. He's got a couple of bolts loose, but it appears he means well."

I stood there just looking at him, waiting for him to decide what he was going to do next. He grumbled something unintelligible beneath his breath then made his way over to the table and sat down. I brought him a mug of broth and then tied the sheet so he could use both hands without showing the world everything he was born with.

When the first one was gone I came back to refill the mug but he waved me off. "Just sit with me."

I sat and continued to pair up socks.

"Teaghan ... are you ok?"

"What?"

"OK, dammit. Are you ok? Did anyone hurt you? Touch you?"

"I'm fine. You want a pain pi ..."

He grabbed the hand I had used to push away from the table with faster than I had ever considered he could move. "I don't want a damn pill. I just want ... need ... you to ..."

Another spasm of pain crossed his face. I asked, "What hurts?"

"Everything. Mostly my pride."

Understanding better than he knew I told him, "You lived. Tell your pride that and then tell it to shut up."

"Easy for you to say."

I shook my head. "Not as easy as you seem to think but I'm walking proof that it can be done. C'mon, let's get you back to bed. A little rest will do you good."

Grumbling unhappily he said, "All I'll get is stiff."

Agreeing with his prediction I told him, "Likely. But that's generally the first step on the road to recovery."

"What's the first step down the road to me recovering my place in your good graces?"

I was not in the mood for his sweet talking. I stood up but suddenly his grip on my hand was strong and painful. I told him, "Let go."

He refused. "No. I can't chase you, you'll get away."

Beginning to get fed up I snapped, "Let go!"

"No." He laid his head on his hands that were holding my hand. "I don't know any other way to be."

Words. That's all they were on the surface. But they were also an admission of sorts.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 26​

Calling myself every kind of fool I knew of I told him, "I was at the graveyard."

Raising bleary eyes to look at me Sloan said, "What?"

"I said I was at the graveyard. I was saying goodbye to my family. Now that you have your answer let’s get you ..."

He refused to release my hand. "Don't."

Past beginning to lose patience with both the situation and him I said, "Sloan you need to rest."

Proving he was more like my brothers - in stubbornness at least - than I was comfortable with him being he responded, "I will after I'm sure that if I lay down you'll be here when I wake up."

Exasperated I huffed and asked, "What?"

In a low voice he mumbled, "Don't go."

Surprised, I wasn't sure what to say. "Sloan ..."

He shook his head even though it obviously hurt. "It's a hell of a thing for a man to say, to have to admit Teaghan, but ... I don't want you to leave. OK?"

I sighed too weary to deal what I was going to have to deal with. "Sloan don't. We both know this is the only way to safeguard the farm and everything else."

Not liking my words Sloan said, "Now just wait a minute. I don't know what is going on in your head but I can keep you safe. You just have to cooperate."

I stopped fighting and just let him hold my hand. "I haven't been safe since the moment of my birth and my grandmother said, 'It's a girl.' And there's not a thing you can do about that. I finally figured things out."

Cautiously Sloan looked at me before asking, "Er ... what do you think you have figured out?"

"I'll tell you if you'll go back to bed."

His eyebrows came down and his mouth got a pinched look to it. "That's blackmail."

I shrugged. "You’re the one that put the opportunity in my lap. Plus, it's the best bargain you are going to get."

He was panting in exhaustion and pain by the time I got him back to bed and propped up on pillows but he still refused a pain pill. "I've fulfilled my part of the bargain, now you."

I sat in the chair and ordered my thoughts. "This goes back to the Second Civil War. I know it's history and I know you know it, but it helps me to put order to my conclusions." At his nod I started. "The CW2 was short, brutal, and for everything it corrected, it fractured a couple more. For the sake of peace there were compromises made on both sides. One side saw gains politically and socially as most of the long-term programs of financial support through taxation and redistribution were abolished. The other side saw victories in that it had converted a lot of people to their way of life. For about ten years - years spent climbing up out of the economic quagmire the country had fallen into - a little improvement was made in most people's lives every year ... even those who thought getting rid of the entitlements would be a bad thing found out that it actually normalized the economy and produced opportunities for people that hadn't been seen since before the turn of the previous century. Then the war. Our country would have stayed out of it save for the fact that the disenfranchised from CW2 had infiltrated the government and been waiting on their chance to return themselves to the power they had before and even more. Didn't work out quite as expected because their connections to the warmongers overseas were discovered before some of their plans could come to fruition and that evidence was broadcast far and wide. We almost had another civil war as people took sides. Most of the problems went underground and areas were basically off limits to anyone that wasn't already stuck there. Eventually everything got so bad that everyone turned their full focus on the war. Then the cease fire, the pandemic, then the abrupt restart of the war, and then the final cease fire. Things were a royal mess."

Sloan looked at me through slightly narrowed eyes, not in anger but in surprised concentration, I think. Like changing his view of me was giving him a headache.

"The pandemic had done a lot of damage ... it had broken a lot of families, destroyed social and ecological balance in many places. I'm not going to go over all that because all I'm concerned about right now is how I got to be where I am. See, nature abhors a vacuum. That's a cliché, but it is also true. Into this vacuum of grief and everything else first came the wolves in sheep clothing. They called themselves a relief and aide group. What they should have said was that they were social engineers trained in the way of gorilla warfare. They exploited people's weaknesses and if they didn't have weaknesses, they led them down a path that made them weak. They pulled a lot of strings, guided things so that our community could be plucked like a ripe plum. From this point forward I'm guessing but I think I'm right. See what these soldiers of social engineering didn't realize was that there were people that had figured out what they were doing almost as soon as they arrived. They probably put the weak in their sights and manipulated the strong to stay on the sidelines."

Trying to see it in my head I said, "They got a lot of followers. Even weak people are strong when they run around in numbers. Before the pandemic it got to where no woman could be out in public without a bodyguard. Dad decided we were to come home and stay there. It was the only way he and my brothers could safeguard us. After the pandemic it was even worse, and Dad and my brothers doubled down. We didn't live in town, so I didn't see what was going on from a window ... only through what they let me know. You notice we don't have an entertainment unit. The subscriptions were too expensive was always his excuse. After a while I just didn't notice what was missing. I didn't notice what he wasn't telling me or how much they were filtering what I heard. It wasn't a bad life because they went out of their way to make sure it wasn't. My brothers were ten years older than me. How many grown men do you know that would have played with their much younger sister the way my brothers played with me? We played ... but they were learning games. I learned to hunt, fish, track, shoot." I shrugged. "I loved it. I loved the attention. And I loved when I was able to beat them at their own games. Dad encouraged all of it. He was so grief stricken but he still tried to stay connected to things for my sake, but he was relieved my brothers had taken over some of what he would have had to do. Then came that day. I'm still only guessing but I don't think it was supposed to go down the way it did. My best guess is that something happened at the Market that tipped things out of control but I don't know."

Sloan said, "There was a fight. One of the bigwigs of those you are calling the social engineers got shot. Then a woman that had been speaking out against what was going on got shot. And from what I understand things happened so fast after that point things were almost a done deal before you could even take a breath."

I nodded. "I thought it had to be something ... something that caused people to take sides. Two murders in a really short span of time would certainly do it. But it must have been part of a plan as well. Especially shutting up that woman. I've been thinking about all the families that lost members in the first massacre. They all had women in them ... every single one. Daughters, sisters, wives, mothers ... but they were all young enough, no gramma's in the bunch." I looked at him and asked, "Am I getting close?"

All Sloan did was sigh. "Thought so. Now this next part is also guesswork. The people that had been standing back, waiting, biding their time, suddenly had to act or perhaps never be able to act again. Maybe the timeline got pushed up or not, but whatever it was they rode in like the good guys, saved the day, destroyed the enemy ... and filled the vacuum left behind." I rubbed the place between my eyebrows to try and relieve some of the pressure that was building. "They moved too fast or before they had wanted to ... they had managed to get supporters throughout the county but only Butler Brook is completely under their control. The sheriff's department is theirs right?" Sloan nodded. "But the Highway Patrol isn't so that must mean it isn't statewide." Sloan nodded again. "So they're a big fish in a little tank ... for now."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "More guessing on my part but I think the school is for indoctrination ... get 'em young and teach them something that sounds like the truth but isn't. Because this whole situation isn't a short-term venture if what I'm thinking is true; these people are after a way of life. Most of them probably actually believe that crap in the history book they're using up at the school ... and the kids they're telling it to will for sure. They might not share the religion of those we fought in the war but they're infected by the same type of superiority complex. The pandemic simply gave them scope to explore just how warped they can be."

Sloan asked, "You a women's libber?"

"If you can ask that you never have bothered to try to get to know me at all."

Quickly Sloan said, "Easy there Teaghan ... I was just trying to lighten things up a bit."

To let him know what I thought about that I curled my lip. "Well don't. There is nothing light about this. Now that I see it I can't believe that I didn't see it before. Part of me understands why Dad did what he did though it is easier to understand why Jeremiah and Jason would do it the way they did. But another part of me ..." I shook my head. "I'll never understand it. Loving someone and protecting them from harm doesn't have to mean keeping them ignorant and caged up."

"You were their baby, the youngest. They didn't want to scare you."

Irritated I told him, "Maybe scaring is what I needed. Maybe it is what makes us stronger if we let it. It's not like my brothers didn't have it in them to scare me because they used to do it plenty just in jokes alone. Maybe if so many of us hadn't been 'protected' to the point of being made all but useless there would have been more soldiers to fight this war they've brought down on us."

"Don't exaggerate. It's not a war."

"Not yet ... but it will get there. Or are you saying you agree with what they are trying to do ... subjugate and use women for whatever purpose they have for us. To serve, to wait on men, to be seen and not heard, to be turned into baby making machines."

"Where did that come from?"

Then I gave it to him with both barrels because I was full up with thinking about it all by myself. "Check your calendar. I'm a week late. And if you find the responsibilities you've got now hard to handle you just wait until I'm big and fat and unable to get around like I need to. You'll feel like your head has been turned inside out."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 27​

"She said what?!"

It was Saturday afternoon, two days after the attack, and Dan was in the office reporting the numbers from Market Day. It was the first day that Sloan could get around faster than a snail but it still was decided it wasn't a good idea for him to show his face. The story was that a cross beam gave way and he fell in the tobacco barn and was mostly cussing the delay in other work he had to do.

Sloan had looked so shocked after I told him I was late that he hadn't said a word for thirty minutes and when I got up and got him a pain pill he dry swallowed it and went off to sleep. The subject hadn't come up since.

"Well?" Dan demanded.

"Well what?"

"How sure is she? Damn man, this changes a few things ... more than a few things. For one we're going to need to leave a bigger guard here and maybe we should think about ... I don't know ... hiring someone just to look after her. How's she feeling about it?"

"I don't know."

There was a short silence. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean she hasn't said another word about it since she dropped the bombshell."

Another short silence then Dan asked suspiciously, "Have you said anything?"

"What am I supposed to say?!"

Completely frustrated Dan snapped, "You know something? I'm beginning to think that all those successes you had with women before were nothing but blind luck." Then there was a thud.

"Ow!" Sloan yelped. "What the hell was that for?!"

Deadpan Dan said, "For being stupid and because I felt like it."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to ask her how she's feeling."

"Wait!"

"Why?"

"I ... I don't want her to ... think ..."

"Think what? That you are a complete ass? Too late Boss."

Sloan said, "Sit down Dan. Just ... just sit down. I'l talk to her. My gawd what a mess."

I pushed the door to the office open and brought in the tea tray. Dan jumped up to take it from my hands and I rolled my eyes. "Don't start. Sloan is already pea green sick, don't make it worse. I'm gonna have my hands full as it is."

Dan grinned. "So the news is true? And he hasn't managed to run you off?"

Seriously I said, "I signed those papers of my own free will. I agreed to the bargain. I don't break my word."

I left the room and went back to taking the things that Dan had brought back from the market down into the basement pantry area. I heard a grunt and looked up to find Sloan trying to make his way down the stairs. I told him, "If you think it is hard coming down you'll hate trying to go back up."

"Then come up. We need to ta ..." He stopped with a grimace. "Come talk to me Teaghan. I'm ... I'm ..."

I wiped my hands on my apron and jogged up the stairs without really thinking. Sloan snapped, "Wait! Stop! Don't you know how to walk?! Dammit, these stairs are a hazard. I'll have Dan look ..."

I stopped on the landing and said, "Women for generations have not had a problem with those stairs."

"I don't care about what generations of women have had problems with or haven't. I have problems with them. I've already watched you fall once and ... gawd."

We stepped back into the kitchen and I told him, "Sit down and I'll get you a slice of pie."

"Pie? Pie?! Is that all you can think of?!"

"Relax. I'm not trying to sweet talk you. I know you don't like it."

"Why the hell would you think that?"

"You told me so yourself, the first time we met."

Sloan thought back then shook his head. "Well I wouldn't mind being sweet talked right now. My gawd."

"You've said that already. Several times in fact."

Gently rubbing his still sore and knotty head he asked, "How sure are you?"

"That I'm pregnant?" Sloan winced at my blunt words. "I'm a week late and ... if you must know ... I'm normally regular as clockwork. All the women in my family are. And it just seems ... possible."

"Possible? Not probable?"

I put a slice of pie in front of him and he looked at it grudgingly before starting to fork it into his mouth.

"Can I ask you something?"

He grumped, "Hmrph."

"I'll take that as a yes. Why do you consider me being pregnant so ... distasteful?"

A cherry decided to take a detour down his windpipe. When I was sure he wasn't going to choke to death I handed him a glass of milk. He griped, "You say the damnedest things at the damnedest times."

"But it's obvious. You think ..."

"Don't tell me what's obvious and don't tell me what I think woman. Right now I don't know what I think ... but I know you being pregnant isn't ... my gawd, the things you must think of me to even say that. Teaghan I'm just ... floored. I'm thirty years old. I've never even come close to living like a monk and I can say with all honesty that this is the first time this subject has ever come up for me."

"You sure? If the woman didn't tell you, how would you know?"

"I am not discussing this with you. You're my wife." For some reason that struck me as hilariously funny and I fought the giggles. Not the least happy he said, "Enough already." A moment ticked by then he asked, "Seriously Teaghan, how sure are you?"

"I've already told you. As for sure beyond a reasonable doubt I guess if I miss a second time or I start puking my guts up in the morning."

More than mildly frustrated he snapped, "You're awful damn calm."

"Only on the outside. Inside I'm ready for a straight-jacket. But if I am then I am, and I just have to accept it. I honestly didn't think much about the possibility ... but it sounds like you didn't either. We've just been doing it but as Gram would say, we gotta sleep in the bed we make." I debated with myself for a moment then told him, "I almost left you know. I could be out on the road someplace discovering I was pregnant; trying to figure out what to do."

Dead silence. Then carefully he asked, "Why did you stay if you were so close to leaving?"

Just as carefully I answered, "My promise. My honor. Because somehow despite how much I wanted to hit you in the head with something the idea of someone else doing it wasn't at all acceptable. Because I know the boys need you and the farm needs you and I want to help with that ... and now this baby is going to need you, or at least has the right to know you. That can't happen if I run away. And ..."

"And?"

"And now I'm mad. I'm not going to let them run me off. What they're doing is wrong. I may not be able to stop them but that doesn't mean that I must play along either. Maybe we both got married of our own free will, but I feel like you ... were manipulated or something, for some reason I haven't figured out yet. Mr. Burdock ... I don't know ... I just don't think he should get away with the things he's had a hand in. And I want to find out if the mob really killed my family or ... or if it was made to look like that."

Sloan put his fork down and said as serious as I had ever heard him speak, "Teaghan, they're some dangerous people involved in this with some fanatical ideas and deep-pocketed backers. I don't think even Burdock realizes how dangerous some of the people he is dealing with are. Even if you aren't pregnant, I don't want you anywhere near them; no woman should be ... kids either for that matter. They're sadistic and perverted bastards and have little to no empathy for anyone, not even each other."

Realizing he wasn't in the mood to negotiate that point I asked, "What's your stake in this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play innocent, it doesn't become you. You ... you and Dan both ... seem to know a lot about things."

He wiped his mouth with a napkin and asked, "You ever thought you might not like the answer you get to a question?"

"Whether I like something or not doesn't have a thing to do with it. I want the truth. I'm tired of living a lie."

He looked at me and then turned to look out the window and sigh in frustration. "Teaghan, some things are just best left buried in the past."

"Does this have to do with your wild days?"

"In part. And no, I'm not going to give you details even if it sinks me deeper in hot water with you. Let's just leave it at that I didn't always deal with the most upstanding of the citizenry and that at the time I didn't think too much further than how heavy my cash box was getting. I've put that behind me, and I want it to stay there. And saying that my answer to your question still won't sound sweet." He looked at me then back out the window. "I wanted this farm. Not a farm but this one. It was on a list handed to me by Burdock. I saw the description and I wanted it. It was exactly what I had been looking for for about three years. Burdock said the catch was that if I wanted this particular farm, I would need to marry you ... that it was a package deal. I'm sorry Teaghan but the truth is ... I ... I wanted the farm. You just sort of came with it."

I tried not to let that hurt. I was actually more successful at it than I expected. I turned to him and nodded. "I suspected as much even back then. Don't worry about it. It is what it is."

"It really doesn't bother you?"

"It's the truth isn't it? Then why should I have hysterics, especially since that's what I asked for?"

"That doesn't answer the question."

I shrugged. "Sloan, for a little while I ... I made the mistake of believing in a fantasy. We wouldn't be having this conversation if I had kept my head. I'm not going to let it happen again. Ever. For any reason. It causes too much trouble between us and with all the trouble out there," I said pointing in the general direction of the highway. "The less trouble between us the better. Assuming ... assuming you weren't just pretending when you said you didn't want me to leave. I need to know one way or the other. I'd like to say you have a lot of time to make up your mind about that, but I don't have much time for you to make your mind up before I have to make some plans if you don't."

"Just because I made an ass out of myself the other night doesn't mean that I don't have my own honor. I keep my word too you know. And I never wanted you to leave in the first place ... it just sort of fell out of my mouth when my temper got the better of me."

"Well I'm releasing you from that part of the contract ... and all the rest of it too. It seems that Mr. Burdock used me as bait to get you here for some reason. That kind of thing voids an agreement if I understand the law right."

"Well I ain't voiding it so there. What about you? You were tricked too."

Knowing the truth I said, "No. No I wasn't. I knew what I was doing. I agreed to marry you because it meant staying on the farm. I sold myself to stay where I thought home was."

"Where you thought it was?"

Explaining I told him, "That night I went to say goodbye to my family thinking that I would be leaving them the next day ... leaving forever. Instead, I realized that no matter where I go a part of my family will always be with me. I heard my brothers' voices clear as day helping me to do what needed doing, reminding me of past lessons. Other times I've heard Dad's voice reminding me about some piece of cranky equipment or some bit of farm lore to help me figure something out. It's my female relatives I hear as I preserve the harvest and try and figure out how to deal with all of you ornery men. I don't care if you laugh at me or think I'm crazy. I know what I heard and what I feel. And that's not going to stop if I leave the farm. That's the kind of thing that I'll take to my own grave wherever that winds up being."

We were quiet for a long time. When he finished I picked up his plate to take it to the sink and wash but he stopped me with a hand. "What about now? Are you here because of the farm or ... or the ... my gawd I can't believe I 'm saying this ... because of the baby? Or ... or is there ... maybe ... something in there for me?"

I looked at him and realized something. Something that wasn't a fantasy. I had a choice. I could make this hard or I could make it easier on both of us. I chose without really even thinking about it. I reached over and kissed his cheek surprising us both then I told him, "You're not exactly the kind of person that is forgettable. No matter what happens or where I wind up, a bit of you will always be with me too."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 28​

Later after supper, and after Sloan had finished his meeting with Dan and everything had calmed down for the night, Sloan and I were getting ready for bed. I asked him, "Did Dan hear anything at the market?"

He looked at me in frustration then sighed. "You really aren't going to give this up are you?"

It was a statement not a question, but I answered him anyway. "What's to give up? All I want is the truth. And it's a little too late for me to go back to being a stupid little know-nothing."

"Hey," he said limping over to where I stood folding back the covers. "I never thought you were stupid. Frustrating as hell. Innocent beyond good sense. Hard for me to understand ... and still are ... but never stupid. And next time I take you out, it won't be to ..."

In a flat voice I told him, "There won't be a next time."

He was quiet for a moment then he said, "I thought you said you were staying."

I reached up and kissed his cheek again to let him know bygones were bygones. "I am, my word is good. But that doesn't have anything to do with what you're talking about. I'm not going to make you or anyone else a target again."

"Teaghan," he said sighing and taking me into his arms carefully, like he used to back when we were first getting to know each other. "What happened wasn't your fault. Those guys that tried to run us down - and that won't happen again because I'll take outriders - got too full of themselves, pushed the envelope, whatever you want to call it. Not even their own are happy with them. The other men that came to the farm were probably just out more for revenge that their buddies got busted and decided to combine it with what they considered a bit of fun and getting what they thought they were entitled to faster than their bosses are giving it to them. It's not like that everywhere. It wasn't like that at the strip center was it?"

I patted his shoulder then pushed him back so I could finish what I was doing. It was also to show him I didn't need to be babied the way he had before. "There is more of it going around than you think there is. That Hattie was an exception, not the rule, as far as females go from what I saw. And she has men making the candies not women."

"How the hell ... never mind, did you peek in her back room?"

"No, that's not something I would do no matter what I was looking for. She has this young man doing the clean-up. He was admiring her way with you, saying she was the best. I told him that you were better. Then I asked if she was his sister and got an earful ... how Hattie was great, how he just cleaned up the place, how Hattie was great, how there were guys in the back that made the stuff, how Hattie was great ... you get the picture."

He didn't apparently because he got stuck on something else. "What were you doing talking to a man ... I didn't see one in the place ... or was it that gorilla she had for security. Was he outside?"

I looked at him and nearly laughed but didn't. Instead I shook my head. "Don't growl. You probably saw him and didn’t think much of him ... he was closer to my age ... draft bait."

"Oh, a boy ... I thought you said a man." He said it with such relief all I could do was shake my head again.

"Don't start that stuff just to make it seem ... "

He wasn't listening. "What the hell Teaghan? You shouldn't have been talking to any guy ... boy or man. You were there with me."

Then I did laugh. "You remind me of Jeremiah when he would get all illogical for some reason."

Indignant he squawked, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it," I said with a smile to take some of the sting out. "First you tell me that it isn't like town everywhere else. Then you get a little crazy because I talk to some guy for maybe sixty seconds and act like I put myself in some kind of danger. Which is it Sloan? Are guys donkey butts or are they not?"

Sloan sighed. "We're all asses to one degree or the other just like women are all bit... HEY! That's a sore spot. Watch where you're poking. You're close to proving my point by the way."

I was feeling a little charitable so I gave him the point and stopped poking at him when he was down. "Fine. If you had simply told me if Dan had heard anything neither one of us would have gotten off topic."

He grumbled but let me boss him into straddling the chair backwards so I could put some liniment on his back. He relaxed and before I had to ask again he sighed and said, "People were quiet about it but it was noticeable if you looked for it ... listened for it. There was talk about certain people not being around. Some were those guys that chased us over the county line, some were those that showed up to harass us that night. A few tried to sound Dan out but he basically just said he didn't know who all were the ones that were arrested and he wasn't about to start guessing and as for the rest of them a man was permitted to have a little too much fun on Friday nights and that the resulting hangover was between him and whoever he was having fun with."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see. "I bet that got a couple of goobers laughing."

"You know, for a woman that doesn't have that much experience you sure do have strong opinions on men."

"It doesn't have anything to do with which sex ... 'cause there's goobers of both flavors. All I have to do is read a history book - a real one and not that trash they are using at the school - and it will prove my point."

I had him get up on the bed so that he could relax more and after a moment he turned his head with a groan and asked, "God that feels good. Now tell me what you saw at the strip center that bothered you. And before you blow me off because I can see it in your face, I'll have you know I'm just as interested in the truth as you are."

After momentarily stumping me by using my words against me I told him, "You're a man and might not have noticed, especially if it has been a gradual change, but I can remember back when Hannah still worked in town and saw right off things weren't the same."

"For instance?"

"No women working in the stores. None. No females running the registers. None behind the make-up counter. None handling the women's changing rooms. Not a single one. Except for that Hattie ... and even in her back room where they were making the candy it was men."

Sloan took a deep breath like men sometimes do when they get a deep thought suddenly come up in their head.

"Then there were the shoppers themselves. I didn't see any kids. And to be honest I was probably the youngest female there. I know school was in, but you'd figure to see babies or kids too young to be in school ... but there wasn't a single one. Not that there were that many women shopping. Those that were there were there in clumps of at least three or four older women or they were tied to the side of a man and not saying too much."

"Women always travel in flocks. It's your nature."

"You want me to poke you again?" He mumbled something rude and racy into the pillow that I'm not repeating. I told him, "And men all have one track minds. Seriously, you didn't notice any of that?"

"Teaghan times are different. The war may be over, the pandemic too, but the aftermath is still being felt. It's dangerous out there."

"Why? Because men don't have any self-control or because women cause men to lose their self-control?"

Sloan opened his mouth on a joke then slowly closed it. "Damn."

"I'm not saying everyone is going all Sharia and stuff like some people did during the wars, but I can see that there is a second Victorian Era developing ... or something even worse ... and things are just as hypocritical now as they were then. Women had to have escorts or they were in danger of being considered no better than they should be, getting bad reputations, and being taken advantage of and no one really caring because they thought they got what they deserved. Even the clothes the women wore and what was available for sell seemed the same ... long gypsy skirts, unfitted extra modest blouses, lots of scarves and hats to cover the hair. The colors of what was available actually reminded me of the clothes I had to wear for Mennonite school. But all of the stuff for underneath was lacy, frilly, and such ... the kind of things that men seem to like and women wear no matter how uncomfortable."

"The things I gave you are uncomfortable?"

"Stay on topic Sloan."

"It's not off topic," he said gingerly rolling over and putting my hands on his chest. "I want to know. Do you wear things just because you think I like them? Maybe because I make you?"

"You don't make me. But ... well would you wear stuff like that, made of that type of material under your clothes?"

"I'm not a woman."

"Doesn't matter."

He sighed. "Then don't wear it."

"I've gotten used to it. It just isn't always ... practical. And I'm always afraid of messing it up. And trying to make sure it doesn't show 'cause I'd die if anyone else knew I was wearing it and I am serious about that."

He started to get "the look" then grimaced. "I'm not starting something I can't finish. Just tell me what else you saw."

Trying to explain by finding just the right word I said, "I was ... superfluous."

"You were what?!" he asked with half a chuckle.

"Superfluous. Only there like an accessory but not really necessary. The only person in any of the stores that paid attention to me was that Hattie, and she really didn't want to because she assumed it was a waste of time. In every store when they asked 'may I help you' they were talking to you. All of them. All I did was stand back and watch."

"You weren't shopping. Salespeople would notice that."

"No ... salespeople would try and get me interested in parting with my money ... unless it was already a proven habit that only the men are the customers and women aren't. Even the women that went around in groups had to wait for help over a man that was looking for the same service. I'm not sure people even notice what they're doing anymore because the women that had to wait didn't make any kind of comment like they once would have; like how bad the service was or about going to a different store or something like that. They just waited like they didn't think they'd get treated any differently at any place else either."

He'd closed his eyes and was very quiet, I thought he'd fallen asleep but when I went to move he grabbed my waist. "I didn't see it ... but you're right. Damn. I just assumed that because there were so fewer women since the pandemic that the imbalance in the stores was a result of that."

"Historically when there are fewer women, women actually become more powerful ... a kind of rude supply and demand issue. But I'm not seeing any powerful women ... unless that Hattie is an example of one."

Absentmindedly Sloan muttered while he fiddled around doing things he tended to do, "Forget about her. The only thing she has going for her is her assets, and I'm not talking about her bank account. She's stuck on the idea of how she perceives her business and not on making sure she still has customers. She's pricing herself out of the market. And I'm damn mad she told me she was out of lemon drops when you said there were some behind the counter. I'm gonna get you some but not from her. She can go bankrupt with my blessing. Should have told Dan to look for some at the market while he was there."

"You don't need to do that."

He tugged letting me know he wanted me to lie down beside him. "And you don't have to do half the things you do ... but you do them anyway." He was silent for a moment before saying curiously, "I wonder what you are going to look like when you start to show and if it is going to get in the way."

I never got to answer as his imagination started getting busy.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 29​

I remember I just about jumped a mile when Josiah popped up at the kitchen screen door; I'd been day dreaming, something I didn't normally do, but Sloan had said some things after waking me up in the middle of the night that had my head spinning trying to figure out why he'd said them. I guess he'd had a dream or something and wasn't very awake but the bottom line was that I wasn't supposed to be talking to red-headed men unless it was him. Well I'd never talked to another copper headed man ... a couple of copper-headed boys when I was very little and still in school but I didn't see how that could count. It must have been an odd sort of dream but it was me that it wound up haunting in the long run.

In a rush Josiah told me, "Sloan says stay in the house or better yet get in the basement. Couple a cars spotted turning into the farm road."

He reached in and pulled the big wooden door closed and I heard someone else closing the shutters on the back of the house upstairs while someone else closed the bottom ones. "Boys?" I called. Silas' head appeared below the top of the staircase.

"Uncle Sloan told us to close the shutters then we're supposed to stay quiet."

I heard the worry in his voice; they were still shaky from the night time attack. Truth be told it crossed my mind that someone had gotten bold enough to do it in the daytime. I asked, "Want to see where I used to go during a bad storm?"

They came clomping down the stairs lickety-split and all three of us went down to the basement. They became fascinated by the "playroom" and started making plans for it right off. I'd picked the right distraction. "OK you two. I'll give you the same rules my mom and dad gave me. You can call this your space so long as it isn't needed for family stuff and so long as anything you put in here stays cleaned up. Got it? I can't worry that I'm always going to trip over something when I'm down here."

The bargain made I casually drifted back up the stairs and stood on the first-floor landing trying to listen. I couldn't hear anything so I opened the door and stepped into the kitchen which was now dark due to both the closed shutters and door. Frustrated I eased to the archway and finally could hear voices coming down the hall and realized men were on the front porch but not inside the house. Lucky for me the windows to the office were still open.

A voice I didn't recognized said, "That must have been some fall you took Williams. Shoulda come to town to see a doc. Can't afford to keep losing you at the Market."

"You didn't lose me," Sloan responded. "I made sure things got where they were going. Just 'cause my body ain't there doesn't mean my spirit wasn't. And tell McEwen over there not to wander. Not all my men know him ... and we've got a new bull that is full of **** and vinegar right now and likes to charge anything and everything. He's bad enough I've forbid the boys and Teaghan from going anywhere near the pen."

Then I heard Mr. Burdock's voice. "Minds you does she?"

"She's usually got good commonsense."

The other man muttered, "Lucky you."

To cover the sudden awkward silence Mr. Burdock at first harrumph'd and then said, "I don't see her around. Usually she's quick to run and bring some refreshments."

"She's still ruffled and upset about the other day. I don't know what those guys were playing at but they nearly had me in the hots with the Highway Patrol. I can't afford that. I have to do too much out-of-county travel to get on one of their lists. And you seemed to know their folks?"

Dan nearly scared me out of a year's growth pointing me back in the direction of the kitchen. "You never hear anything good about yourself that way Teacup."

"And if I don't I'll never hear anything at all. How crazy will Sloan get if I bring tea out to the porch."

Dan looked down the hall then at me. "None if that is all you do. It'll probably help if you make an appearance then skedaddle back inside like you don't like being around strangers."

"I don't."

"So much the better."

I got the tea as I heard Dan go outside. Apparently he'd gone to get some numbers for Sloan to pacify Mr. Burdock with. Once I had things on a tray I went to the screen door but just stood there until Dan nudged Sloan. He looked up and scowled but nodded. I brought the tray out and set it on the table and was going to skedaddle but Mr. Burdock stopped me.

"I'm sorry to hear that you were upset. I'm afraid that with so little work to be had some of the young men are getting restless and a little too high spirited."

I shuddered then said softly, "Dad said when the boys would get up to high jinks that it is always fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out. Sloan could have gotten hurt, and those Highway Patrol people were ... scary."

Mr. Burdock nodded. "They aren't the most reasonable, that's a fact. I'm afraid they will be out here pestering you to make some kind of statement and twist your words."

"Why would they want to talk to me?" I turned to Sloan and gave him a wide-eyed stare and he snorted and then scowled at me.

"You'll answer their questions and that's all you'll do."

"Not by myself? You'll be there like you were before?"

"Teaghan ..." he muttered and shook his head. He was trying to head me off, but I had a head full of steam and just bulldozed on through.

I turned back to Mr. Burdock and said in a properly brainless voice, "Why can't they ask you? You were there and you know all those men. You know everyone and everything that goes on around here. Dad always said so. Sloan says I shouldn’t put that much pressure on you but I don't mean to, it's just the way it's always been that I can remember. Please?"

Mr. Burdock, as men such as I realized he had become, gave a little smile, puffed his chest up and nodded. "I'll do what I can like I do what I can for the rest of the community, but I'll admit to being disappointed in how those young men conducted themselves. Speaks of troubles at home, lack of order and discipline where they're needed. Miss your father; he was a man that understood discipline even when he was a raw private fresh out of basic. Saw that in him right off. Never forgot it either. Glad to see Sloan here continuing in that vein. Tobacco crop was solid and what's this I hear about you got you some hemp permits?"

Him turning back to Sloan and to business talk was my dismissal and I gladly took it. The two men with Mr. Burdock weren't his normal company when he came to the farm. They were dressed in what I took to be uniforms of some type and I couldn't stand the way they eyed me up and down.

About a half hour later the visitors left and Sloan came inside to find me humming in the kitchen. Grumpily he said, "I ought to paddle your behind. I nearly busted a gut when Burdock actually swallowed that load of manure you dished up for him. 'Oh you know everything and everyone Mr. Burdock. Can't you talk to them pleeeeeeeze.' You were laying it on so thick I thought one of those idiots would have had to pick up on it, but they didn't."

I shrugged and just kept preparing supper. "Dad used to say that men want to hear what they want to hear and that's all they'll listen to. I just applied that principle."

With a slightly worried expression he told me, "Yeah, well be careful of what you apply and who you apply it to. Be more wary from here on out Sweetheart. Just because Burdock's crowd may have to lay low for a while it doesn't mean they are out of commission entirely. Was just informed that the School District has decided to come in and review the school and 'realign' some of the curriculum being used. I expect there'll be some nosing around by other agencies as well. I hope there's no trouble but sometimes people get pushed into a corner and they'll come out fighting. Until I know which way it is going to jump you just take it easy."

I nodded. "Those two men in the uniforms were nasty. I felt like I was covered in pond scum before I could get back inside. They stared so hard I thought their eyes were going to roll out to try and get a look under my skirt."

Sloan growled, "I noticed. Which leads me to my next edict, and I don't care whether you like it or not. If anyone besides Burdock comes around, or he comes around with anyone you don't recognize, you take the boys and go down to the basement and let whoever I have taking care of things do their job if I'm not around. Understand?"

I looked at him. He was not fooling and was dead serious and trying to hide how worried he was so I said, "OK."

A little unprepared for the fact I didn’t give him any grief Sloan asked, "No fuss or temper General?"

The use of the nickname some of the men had given me was to try and goad me but I wasn't biting. I told him, "I may not have been a soldier, but I have enough sense not to start a fight I can't win." I walked over to stand beside him and said, "Besides I know you're just trying to be the husband and protect me ... and the baby."

He sighed and put his arm around my shoulder to make me turn to him. "I don't want to fight, and that's a fact; we've both had enough of that and need a breather. But … listen Teaghan, Baumgarten and McEwen coming around with Burdock adds a spin I don't like. They're both with the Sheriff's department - hell, Baumgarten is the Sheriff - but they were out of uniform and acting more like some kind of inspection team or security monitors. They were trying to send some kind of message but I’m not sure what yet. That McEwen especially bugs me; he was going to wander to try and get an eye full ... nose into things that were none of his business. Plus I know him from someplace and I know when I figure out from where I have a feeling I'm not going to like it. Just ... do me a favor will ya ... if you have to leave the yard - like when you go off to pick your herbs - take Josiah or someone he assigns with you. I have a feeling ..."

He was rubbing his head that was still sore in places.

I reached up and pulled one of his hands away. "Stop that or you'll make it worse. You want me to rub some liniment on it?"

"Yes ... but I'm going to have to deny myself. There is still a crapload of stuff to do if we are going to get out of here tomorrow." He sighed. "I gotta go Sweetheart but ..."

"Then go," I told him I told him matter-of-factly. "Dad and the boys hated leaving me alone when they went to market. I got a full run down of do's and do not’s every single time. But it still had to happen. The same with you. The farm needs money so we can keep putting food on the table. You need to replenish what you spent on the hemp farm. Reality is what it is."

"You can say it. You can mean it. I can believe it and even agree. But that doesn't change the fact that it makes me uncomfortable to be leaving for a week. It is a small job but with big rewards and another opportunity on the other side of it. I can't afford to alienate the reclamation rep that gave me the heads up."

"Then stop wasting your energy on trying to pacify me when it isn't necessary. I'm not going to have hysterics or anything. And like you said you have a lot to do before you leave tomorrow ... so go do it."

Sloan sighed and then looked at me like he was trying to figure something out. He started to do that a lot right around that time and I eventually thought I had figured out why but looking back I wonder.

Eventually he said, "You know it's great having a practical wife ... but then again there are times it gives me heartburn." He turned to go but then stopped and asked me carefully, "If you could have something come back as a treat what would it be?"

"For you to come back safe is more than treat enough." I kissed him on his cheek, something I'd gotten in the habit of doing I guess as a sign to both of us that things were ok then told him, "Stop wasting currency. The sooner the winter storage is set up and spring planting saved up the easier we'll both rest."

Sloan got that look on his face again … like he was confused and not liking the state at all. Since I didn’t’ know what he was confused about there was nothing I could do to alleviate it. And like he had said, “We’d had enough brangling for a while.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 30​

The week that Sloan, Dan, and one of the teams were gone was pretty uneventful. Well, not uneventful completely but uneventful in that nothing truly bad happened. The cantankerous new bull refused to be kept away from the heifers and acted like he hadn't had any female company since time began. So, after repairing the fence twice only to have him knock it down and go visiting the females of his species a third time, we simply left him where he wanted to be. They actually were able to put him in his place better than we could and by the end of the week he was almost docile. Stupid beast.

I'd spoken to Josiah and we both agreed most of the remaining apple trees needed to be stripped and the fruit preserved. Most of them went into the cider press and I left that to the men. Josiah's family still owned some orchard land in the Ozarks and he more than knew what he was doing in that quarter. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and left him to boss the whole enterprise.



For my part, after taking inventory of what I had, I filled in a couple of holes by canning apples several different ways and then I simply started peeling and slicing and putting them on the drying trays. In November we would get the Granny Smith apples and the winter apples for keeping.

It was at the very end of the week that things took a turn. I explained to Josiah and he understood as he'd had an uncle that had the same problem. By the time that Sloan came back I was in a bad way.

"Teaghan? Are you down ... aw sh ..." He ran over and tried to pick me up. "Did you fall? Dammit I should have had those stairs .."

"Shhhh. Please God don't make so much noise. Need dark. Need quiet."

Sloan went stock still. He said quietly, "When did it start?"

"The bad part last night. Please just let me alone ..." It was a bad one. A really bad one. It had been a long time since I'd had to deal with a bad headache without the pills. But this time I couldn't. Because of the baby.

"Shhhh. Just hold on."

"Noooo. Down here. Cool. Dark."

"And a damn good place to get sick."

I was pretty much done in for the next two days. The third day I woke and realized a heavy set of black out curtains, the kind Mom had hung up in town when I was little, were draped across the window. And I was naked yet wrapped in the softest thing I've ever felt. I brushed the damp cloth off my forehead and tried to sit up.

"Hey ... easy there. You sick again?"

I looked at Sloan and it was like little flickers of light were fluttering all around him. "Aura," I croaked.

"What?"

"It was a bad one. I'm still seeing an aura when I look at you. That's ... that's a kind of light. It's like my brain sees things that aren't there."

"I know what it is. I read up on migraines when I found out you have them. You've never said you see auras though."

"Don't. Unless it's a bad one. This ... was a bad one." My stomach rolled but there was nothing left to come up. The room swam in and out of focus so I closed my eyes. That only made me notice the cover even more. "What's ... what's this?" I asked rubbing my hands across it.

"A new fleece textile from out of Canada. You like it?"

"Ummm hmmmm."

"Good. Now lay back down and sleep."

"Mmm kay."

*****

The next morning I was on my way back to feeling human. "I'm sorry Sloan," I said shamefaced.

"Why? Did you do something to give yourself the migraine?"

"No."

"Then don't stress about it. Hey ... you're stomach isn't flat anymore. That was quick."

I looked at him as we lay in bed. He had the cover pulled away and seemed strangely fascinated by the changes my body insisted on revealing so quickly.

"Pretty soon there won't just be a bump, I'm gonna be fat." I didn't tell him I suspected I was going to be roughly the size of the tobacco barn. Twin boys had a bad habit of turning up in our family on a regular basis. My dad hadn't been a twin but he'd had a set of twin brothers. And there were twins on Mom's side of the family as well. Then there was Jeremiah and Jason. I thought it best to keep it to myself for a while yet rather than give him something else to get moody about.

He repeated the act of running his hand along my formerly flat anatomy with deep fascination. "With my kid," he said muttered poking at my stomach with a gentle finger. "Did you make that list like I asked?"

"I started it. How I'm supposed to finish it when I don't know what I need?"

He looked up briefly and then nodded. "I'll ask my aunt."

"No. I mean ... can we keep it to ourselves a while longer?"

He looked up at me and gave me a suspicious stare. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to have to ... you know ... talk about ... you know. Everyone will know that we ... you know."

He lay there puzzling out what I had said and then snickered. "Sweetheart, they already realize we have sex."

"Shut up." Sloan shook his head and rolled his eyes and other things that showed he was trying not to laugh or be exasperated. I told him, "OK ... so they probably figure we do because that's generally what married people do but I just know someone is going to get in our business about it more than I can stand. Besides, I don't think anyone should know until you tell the boys."

"Uh ... can't you do that?"

"Huh?"

"I mean ... er ..."

"Oh no ... you aren't going to push that off on me. You're their uncle. You are the man. You ... well you caused this, so you are just going to have to ..." I thought for a second then said, "You are just going to have to do your duty."

Sloan groaned and muttered, "Maybe I can just let it slip while Dan and I are talking."

That night Sid asked, "Are you going to puke?"

"No, the headache is over."

Both boys looked at me and rolled their eyes. "Not the head banger ... Josiah says you'll likely puke a lot ... just like Shotgun when he eats something he shouldn't."

I slowly turned to looked at the two and they gazed at me with interest ... like I was some kind of science experiment. "Did your Uncle Sloan say something?"

 

[Mr Bill]

Thanks for a fine afternoon of reading.

 

[Griz3752]

I missed this earlier - busy fighting with a 'puter issue but now I have something to read tomorrow.

Apparently, even sick/recovering you need less sleep than I do.


Thank you again Ma'am

 

[seraphima]

Thank you for posting this. I see other people enjoy your stories as much as i do!