PLAY Something I Don't Understand About Pills

Grouchy Granny

Grouchy Granny

Deceased
FaithfulSkeptic said:
If you try to pick up two pills at a time with them exactly side by side, it's very difficult to do because they're rounded or ovals. Yet, when you swallow them, they more often than not insist on going all the way down side by side?

Why is this?
Click to expand...

You sure you don't have a hiatal hernia? I do and have the same problem. Some days they just don't want to go down, other days I'm fine.

What I found that really works with the 2 ovals and 1 round I have to take every morning is to really stand up straight, stick them in the right spot on the tongue (yes, there is one), mouthful of water and get em down.
 
JF&P

JF&P

Deceased
Your not swallowing enough fluids along with the pills....I can swallow a whole handful of (6-8) pills of various sizes at once if I take large multiple gulps when swallowing the fluid and pills....
 
Last edited:
Snyper

Snyper

Veteran Member
The easiest way to swallow a pill is with bite of food.

Chew it well, then put the pill in your mouth and surround it with the food before swallowing.
 
D

Donald Shimoda

In Absentia
Maintenance:

I wake up and take 13 pills.

I put them in an empty pill bottle, pretend it's a shot glass, pretend the pills are a shot of vodka and I'm drinking with my Russian friends, and down they go all at once with a water chaser.

I take 5 in the evening. Same thing.

за здоровье!
 
Pat Hogen

Pat Hogen

Contributing Member
FaithfulSkeptic said:
If you try to pick up two pills at a time with them exactly side by side, it's very difficult to do because they're rounded or ovals. Yet, when you swallow them, they more often than not insist on going all the way down side by side?

Why is this?
Click to expand...

1st off maybe the throat is wider than 2 pills side x side?
When you swallow them ... are you swallowing dry? and taking them at the same time? If so, why? Doesn't save a lot of mileage by taking one at a time.

A shot of water before swallowing lubricates and prepares the throat, holding water in the back of the throat before swallowing helps, then a shot after or, get a pill cutter and put them in some water and swallow.

Time is on your side!

:arg:
 
ComCamGuy

ComCamGuy

Remote Paramedical pain in the ass
You could wash them down with a shot of olive oil. Helps them slide down and is good for you
 
Dennis Olson

Dennis Olson

Chief Curmudgeon
_______________
How to give a cat a pill:
  1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

  4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
  8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
  13. Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:
  1. Wrap in bacon
  2. Give to dog
 
B

bracketquant

Veteran Member
FaithfulSkeptic said:
If you try to pick up two pills at a time with them exactly side by side, it's very difficult to do because they're rounded or ovals. Yet, when you swallow them, they more often than not insist on going all the way down side by side?

Why is this?
Click to expand...
In picking them up, there is no constricted space. When dropped, they're free to roll under the fridge.

When swallowing, they're in a constricted space (and time). Think bottleneck/traffic jam.

The bigger question is why do they insist on rolling, and rolling to the unreachable places, rather than falling on their flat sides?
 
D

Delta

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Don't try to pick 'em up. Shake a couple out of the bottle onto the counter, bend over and suck them directly into your mouth.

If you have trouble swallowing (as I did), suck water through a straw or out of a bottle. Pay attention to how you're doing it: it is a whole lot different muscle action than simply pouring water into your mouth.
 
F

FireDance

TB Fanatic
bracketquant said:
In picking them up, there is no constricted space. When dropped, they're free to roll under the fridge.

When swallowing, they're in a constricted space (and time). Think bottleneck/traffic jam.

The bigger question is why do they insist on rolling, and rolling to the unreachable places, rather than falling on their flat sides?
Click to expand...
Roll effects work better with any type of narcotic.
 
F

FireDance

TB Fanatic
I notice that the older one gets, the more likely a small pill will hang in the back of the throat for no apparent reason. Doesn’t matter if person drinks water before those babies will “hang”.

I don’t get it. On these people, I get their water (ask them to take a sip) and then place the pill on the tongue and they swallow it (generally) ok. They are always the ones who have a jillion pills to take. They are old. It’s slow as crap and drives me CRAZY! However, we too may get to be this age. I often wonder how many choked on pills at some time and are afraid now.
 
W

willowlady

Veteran Member
FaithfulSkeptic said:
If you try to pick up two pills at a time with them exactly side by side, it's very difficult to do because they're rounded or ovals. Yet, when you swallow them, they more often than not insist on going all the way down side by side?

Why is this?
Click to expand...
My dad always used to stay, "Beware the perversity of inanimate objects." Think that might apply here.
 
B

Bob the Builder

Contributing Member
I have it on good authority it has to do with the full moon, apogee and perigee and excess gravity or something to that effect.
Simply place medications in mouth, point posterior towards the full moon, or wherever the moon is at that point in time and gravity will do the rest.
Moon tables are available for the visually impaired.
 
FaithfulSkeptic

FaithfulSkeptic

Carrying the mantle of doubt
bracketquant said:
...
The bigger question is why do they insist on rolling, and rolling to the unreachable places, rather than falling on their flat sides?
Click to expand...

They roll because of unbalanced of angular momentum. They roll under unreachable places because at some point you took things easy and the universe achieves balance with equal amounts of struggle.
 
B

bracketquant

Veteran Member
FaithfulSkeptic said:
They roll because of unbalanced of angular momentum. They roll under unreachable places because at some point you took things easy and the universe achieves balance with equal amounts of struggle.
Click to expand...
Well then, I'm screwed.

Pills have such a knack for going under my fridge, that the new fridge was never adjusted for the feet to be on the floor. It's still on its rollers. If the fridge was empty, or near empty, it would start rolling towards me when opening the door. I took things easy by being able to quickly roll the fridge away to get to the pills.

Keeping the freezer part full, and the refrigerator part fairly full, so the thing doesn't roll, is a prepping incentive, I suppose.
 
B

bracketquant

Veteran Member
Bob the Builder said:
I have it on good authority it has to do with the full moon, apogee and perigee and excess gravity or something to that effect.
Simply place medications in mouth, point posterior towards the full moon, or wherever the moon is at that point in time and gravity will do the rest.
Moon tables are available for the visually impaired.
Click to expand...
One's posterior IS the full moon.
 
phloydius

phloydius

Veteran Member
FaithfulSkeptic said:
Yet, when you swallow them, they more often than not insist on going all the way down side by side?
Click to expand...

One of the tricks is to always swallow an odd number of pills at the same time. Three or five pills are easier to swallow than two or four. Unless they are oblong (like a gel cap) then those are easiest to swallow as a single pill or a pair.
 
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