Knoxville's Joker
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Renecks at Jurassic World:
Jethro: Hey, billybob Do you think I can hit that Velocity rap thing with this here syringe riful?
Billybob: I don’t know Jeth. Last time you used a co2 gun you ended up killing the elephant by shooting the syringe in the eye penetrating the brain.
Jethro: but I only do trick shots and that was the smallest part of the big feller
Billybob: but where are you going to shoot the thing?
Jethro: well if it is anything like a Kudou and these don’t jump like those jumpy fellers, I would say the third stripe down above the shoulder and try to hit for a heart or lung.
Billybob: are you sure that is a sleeper round and not a poison round?
Jethro: Well it is from the med bay and I had my wife Big Bertha read up on the drug and she said it would put him to sleep for a few hours after she looked at the average size and calculated the dose.
BillyBob: Ole BB gotta love how she is such a big book worm. I like to call her Jabba the library. Ruler of all things knowledgeable and worth knowing.
Jethro: Make sure she does not hear you say that. Last time she heard you she nearly turned you into a pancake when she knocked you out and tried to make a stain of you with the steam roller.
BillyBob: I am still made about that, she killed my best pet patty. Apparently they changed the head and used the scene for some bond parody film. That dog looked just like a big human the way I kept feeding him.
Guide: And over here are our off road vehicles used by our trained technicians to take care of the many prehistoric creatures that we have here. Wait a minute don’t get off the bus and run towards them.
Cleetus: try to stop me fatty, I got more credentials and prizes racing in off road that I can’t not stop myself from trying to outrun a T-rex.
Guide: I am calling security!
Cleetus: Go ahead I’ll be gone by the time they get here.
Guide: Security, we have a guest that decided to take one of the rovers from a joy ride said something about out running a T-rex
Security: We will be right there once we finish up with some BIllybob and Jethro pair that decided to tranq a velociraptor in the middle of a mating dance. The orgynal mess is unreal that they made.
Guide: Gotcha, I am continuing on the tour. I think that should be it for a while.
Security: I hope so this whole boat load of red necks is testing our security mechanisms as they seem to be able to make anything do anything in ways we never imagined.
Cleetus: Wow he just let me run off?
Jeb: Well Gee, might have something to do with Billybob and Jethro going on their target practice spree.
Cleetus: which rover do you want to take, Jeb?
Jeb: Take that orange one, I want to paint the battle flag on top to irk the northerners on staff here. I even brough my own paint.
Cleetus: you know what happened the last time we drove before the paint dried? It made the battle flag look like it was in tatters.
Jeb: yup, and the northerner idjust thought it was so funny they left the paint there
Cleetus: But it is an insult to our heritage if that flag ever gets besmirtched.
Jeb: that flag is just an idea, how it looks does not matter, just reminding those of our ancestors is sufficient.
:: Little time passes::
Jeb: OK, I got the electric motor over amped and we should now be able to be capable of doing 200mph. The suspension might not handle anything over 120 if we have anything more than a few pot holes.
Cleetus: lets go find us some dinosaurs to piss off…
Jethro: Hey, billybob Do you think I can hit that Velocity rap thing with this here syringe riful?
Billybob: I don’t know Jeth. Last time you used a co2 gun you ended up killing the elephant by shooting the syringe in the eye penetrating the brain.
Jethro: but I only do trick shots and that was the smallest part of the big feller
Billybob: but where are you going to shoot the thing?
Jethro: well if it is anything like a Kudou and these don’t jump like those jumpy fellers, I would say the third stripe down above the shoulder and try to hit for a heart or lung.
Billybob: are you sure that is a sleeper round and not a poison round?
Jethro: Well it is from the med bay and I had my wife Big Bertha read up on the drug and she said it would put him to sleep for a few hours after she looked at the average size and calculated the dose.
BillyBob: Ole BB gotta love how she is such a big book worm. I like to call her Jabba the library. Ruler of all things knowledgeable and worth knowing.
Jethro: Make sure she does not hear you say that. Last time she heard you she nearly turned you into a pancake when she knocked you out and tried to make a stain of you with the steam roller.
BillyBob: I am still made about that, she killed my best pet patty. Apparently they changed the head and used the scene for some bond parody film. That dog looked just like a big human the way I kept feeding him.
Guide: And over here are our off road vehicles used by our trained technicians to take care of the many prehistoric creatures that we have here. Wait a minute don’t get off the bus and run towards them.
Cleetus: try to stop me fatty, I got more credentials and prizes racing in off road that I can’t not stop myself from trying to outrun a T-rex.
Guide: I am calling security!
Cleetus: Go ahead I’ll be gone by the time they get here.
Guide: Security, we have a guest that decided to take one of the rovers from a joy ride said something about out running a T-rex
Security: We will be right there once we finish up with some BIllybob and Jethro pair that decided to tranq a velociraptor in the middle of a mating dance. The orgynal mess is unreal that they made.
Guide: Gotcha, I am continuing on the tour. I think that should be it for a while.
Security: I hope so this whole boat load of red necks is testing our security mechanisms as they seem to be able to make anything do anything in ways we never imagined.
Cleetus: Wow he just let me run off?
Jeb: Well Gee, might have something to do with Billybob and Jethro going on their target practice spree.
Cleetus: which rover do you want to take, Jeb?
Jeb: Take that orange one, I want to paint the battle flag on top to irk the northerners on staff here. I even brough my own paint.
Cleetus: you know what happened the last time we drove before the paint dried? It made the battle flag look like it was in tatters.
Jeb: yup, and the northerner idjust thought it was so funny they left the paint there
Cleetus: But it is an insult to our heritage if that flag ever gets besmirtched.
Jeb: that flag is just an idea, how it looks does not matter, just reminding those of our ancestors is sufficient.
:: Little time passes::
Jeb: OK, I got the electric motor over amped and we should now be able to be capable of doing 200mph. The suspension might not handle anything over 120 if we have anything more than a few pot holes.
Cleetus: lets go find us some dinosaurs to piss off…