Obama jokes

[Troke]

http://betsyspage.blogspot.com/

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, "I was expecting the farmer's daughter." Barack Obama replies, "She's not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American Dream."

 

[Desertrat]

McCain/Obama winds up in an absolute tie. (Hey, it's my story and I'm sticking to it. ) It's decided that since the U.S. is broke, we won't have another day of voting. It's decided to have a contest to decide who won. An ice-fishing contest, up in Minnesota.

The two go out alone, no observers. A three-day deal, with a count each evening of the number of fish caught.

First day: McC 10, Obama 0. Second day: McC 20, Obama 0.

Harry Reid tells Obama that McC must be cheating. Obama should go watch to see how.

Third day: McC 25 fish. Obama says to Reid, "You won't believe this! He's cutting holes in the ice!"

 

[jrzydude]

I hear they are investigating Jesse Jackson for tampering with Obama's campaign plane. They inspected the plane after the in-flight emergency last week and found two nuts missing !!!!

 

[CanadianGuy]

Reporter: Hey, Obama! When you get to the white house what's the first thing you're going to do?

Obama: Paint!

 

[Oilpatch Hand]

I hear they are investigating Jesse Jackson for tampering with Obama's campaign plane. They inspected the plane after the in-flight emergency last week and found two nuts missing !!!!

Wow. That's a "two-fer."

 

[Amaryllis]

Reporter: Hey, Obama! When you get to the white house what's the first thing you're going to do?

Obama: Paint!

But, but, what will we call it? We can't call it the Black House. That's racist. We'll have to call it the African American House.

 

[knepper]

Reporter: Hey, Obama! When you get to the white house what's the first thing you're going to do?

Obama: Paint!

More likely that he'll tear it down and build a more elaborate mansion more befitting His Royal Highness, the Savior of the (formerly) Free World!

 

[Tumbleweed]

Near the town of Fredericksburg, Texas, where there is a large German-
speaking population, a Amish farmer walking down a country road notices
a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin
gesheissen.'
Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have pooped in it.'
The man shouts back: 'I'm from New York and just down here campaigning
for Barack Obama, I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'
The Amish man says: 'Use two hands, you'll get more.

 

[thother]

I am not laughing

The funniest references to the Democratic candidate and his wife, that I have seen lately, are Balack Obama and She-who-must-not-be-named.

The press won't print anything negative about Obama lest they seem racist. And now I see that if Obama loses, it will be because of racism. WTF

 

[skoaldiak]

The funniest references to the Democratic candidate and his wife, that I have seen lately, are Balack Obama and She-who-must-not-be-named.