OP-ED Nolte: All Remains Sane and Calm Out Here in Rural America

Jonas Parker

Hooligan

Nolte: All Remains Sane and Calm Out Here in Rural America
JOHN NOLTE 20 Jun 2020

Farmer Dave Burrier plants corn in the Marvin Chapel field in Mount Airy, Maryland on May 19, 2020. - Dave Burrier steered his tractor through a field, following a GPS map as he tried to plant as much corn as possible amid the yellow and green rye covering the ground. …

ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP via Getty Images




My appreciation for Rural America has only grown as the lunacy of blacklists, rioting, looting, woke fascism, and a full-blown CHAZ has spread like a malignant cancer throughout dozens of Democrat-run cities.

You know what?
There really are Two Americas.
To which I can only say, “Thank God.”

Thanks to hard work, a little luck, a gracious employer, and an awesome wife, I live in a small town in the western mountains of North Carolina. We did have a couple of big (for our size) protests over the tragic death of George Floyd. But both protests were peaceful, and what happened to George Floyd is worthy of public outrage, so the protests only made me even more proud of my leafy little corner of the world.

The beauty of Rural America — and this is why our media, celebrity, and Democrat elite hate us so — is that the left’s bullshit can’t touch us.

To begin with, the left’s organized and oppressive violence has no effect on us, and that’s primarily because the left-wing terrorists in Antifa and Black Lives Matter know not to come out here; know our cops don’t kneel and we love the Second Amendment… But it’s also the left’s oppressive rules that don’t touch us…

For example, all those terrible decisions made by the Supreme Court this week… None of that will touch us. Illegal aliens don’t destroy Rural America; they destroy Democrat-run cities. Hey, I lived in Los Angeles for nine years; I know of what I speak. And it’s not just the crime that comes with open borders; it’s also how the cheap, illegal labor contributes to the urban blight that comes with fewer jobs and lower wages for legal citizens and immigrants.

The sheer madness of the Court declaring homosexuality (a behavior) and gender dysphoria (a mental illness) a protected civil right… This will never touch Rural America because the left-wing activists who intend to use those unconstitutional rulings to destroy traditional institutions (which is their ultimate goal) will be doing so almost exclusively from an urban base of attack.

Let me give you an example of what I mean…

For a decade, in this same small town, I worked at a company with a ridiculously diverse group of people: blacks, whites, Hispanics, lefties, righties, gay, straight, hippies, rednecks, evangelicals, scofflaws… Along those lines, we all got along just fine. Now, because it was a high-stress and very competitive environment, there was plenty of tension over other issues. But over all those years, we worked alongside interracial couples, including a same-sex interracial couple, and there was never an issue — and I’m talking two and three decades before anyone got woke.

And that hasn’t changed.

You see, out here in Rural America, regardless of skin color and what we do with our sex organs, we all share one common value — the most important value there is: live and let live. No one barges into our lives to make a point, to make a statement, to topple statues, to loot our Walmart, to be a busybody, to force their values down anyone else’s throat. Everyone moves out here to Leavemethe****aloneistan for a reason — to be left alone. It’s glorious. Nobody is up in my business, and I feel no urge to get up in anyone else’s business.
Trust me, there is no better or more peaceful way to live.

Now, I’m going to tell you about a guy I will call Paul…

Paul moved to Leavemethe****aloneistan and took a job at my company to cause trouble. Paul arrived with a chip on his shoulder and bigotry in his heart. Paul came from the Big City and was certain that “southern” could only mean Klansmen. So Paul flew his gay flag loudly and proudly. And I mean, both literally and figuratively.
But no one reacted, no one was provoked, no one even cared, and that made Paul angry.

So every opportunity Paul had to mention his sexuality and the evils of Christianity, he took.
Still, no one cared, and that made Paul even angrier.

Of course, no one liked Paul — not because he was homosexual; we’d already had gays and lesbians filter through the office — including a lesbian who borrowed my Cindy Crawford poster during her stay. No, we disliked Paul because he was a superior-minded, insufferable jerk.

You want to know what ended up happening to Paul?

Nothing. Paul got bored with us and resigned. You see, no one called him a “fag,” no one persecuted him, no one did anything but avoid Paul, and in a fit of disappointment, because we weren’t the bigots he hoped for, Paul sulked all the way back to wherever he came from.

You see, there’s no bigotry out here. I’m in an interracial marriage; we have never had a problem. Every weekend, my cul de sac is filled with white and black kids playing together because that’s when my neighbor’s grandkids visit.

If you don’t believe me, read the news. Trust me, if you have the moral courage to connect the dots, what you’ll discover is that all these racist cops find work in police departments run by Democrat mayors, all these hate crimes happen in Democrat-run cities or left-wing universities, all the racial tension is in Democrat-run cities, all the racial despair is located in Democrat-run cities, all the blackface is worn by Democrats and left-wing celebrities, all the race riots break out in Democrat-run cities, and all the bigots losing their jobs due to their bigotry either work in the left-wing media or the far-left Silicon Valley.

This week I finally picked up a copy of Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood, an extraordinary and insightful nonfiction novel about the vicious 1959 murder of Herb Clutter and his family. Capote spends large pieces of his seminal work describing the small town of Holcomb, Kansas — not just the town itself, but the people who live there. He also goes into great detail about the Clutter family — their mores, religious beliefs, philosophies, and general way of life.

And do you want to know what struck me most about In Cold Blood…?

How, over the 61 years since the death of the Clutter family — 61 years filled with social strife, cultural revolutions, radical feminism, garbage pumped into our living rooms by way of cable TV, same-sex marriage, media hysteria, a sexual revolution, crime, social justice, statue toppling, the rise of Internet porn, race riots, stupid wars, deficits, and a failed public school system and welfare state — what struck me most is how little has changed out here since 1959, how unaffected we are by all the godless garbage manufactured in the sewers of Democrat-run cities.

It’s still 1959 out here. Sure, there’s more drug abuse, and we have our share of fatherless families and welfare queens, but overall… We still go to church. We still farm or garden. We still own firearms. We still hunt and fish. We still raise our kids based on the traditional values of “Do unto others” and “Live and let live.” We still stand for the flag and kneel before God. If the schools become corrupted by way of centralized authority, we homeschool. If the NFL and NASCAR and Boy Scouts become corrupted, we embrace our local sports teams and clubs all the more. When TV turned gay-gay-gay, we turned reality shows about Alaska and fishing into ratings hits. Best of all, we’re colorblind. I know the Woke Taliban have declared the anti-racism of colorblindness racism, but we hicks don’t subscribe to that nonsense — and never will.

And if you try to bring your nonsense here, we’re just going to Paul you — we’re just going to be standoffishly polite until you get bored by our lack of bigotry and go home.

No matter how much shit the left throws, it never sticks out here in the sticks — unless, of course, we allow it to. If you’re stupid enough to watch cable news, that’s on you. If you’re stupid enough to let the left wind you up and stress you out, that’s on you. But if you live in Rural America and are looking for a little perspective about Real America, turn off that goddamned TV, put down that goddamned phone, grab your dog, a book, and go spend a few hours on your porch.

You are under no obligation to waste your life on Twitter trying to save the world.
You are under no obligation to ruin your life hate-watching cable news.
It’s your corner of the world that matters.
It’s your family that matters.
Take care of that.
Protect that.
Enjoy that.

The cities are not our problem — Democrat-run cities are not our America. Democrat-on-Democrat oppression and violence is not our problem. Those who choose to live in those cities and vote for Democrats are getting exactly what they voted for; they’re reaping the whirlwind, and that’s not worth even a moment of your peace of mind.

The secret to the good life is to remember that.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.
 

MetalMan

Veteran Member
Had a big to do in my neck of the woods. The local teen social justice warriors decided to protest the George Floyd killing so they gathered in the park (35-50 tops). They headed for the court house where chanting and cheering, sign waving, the whole show commenced. After about 30 mins. one brave soul decided to kick the action up and started throwing rocks at the fairly new (built 4 years ago) court house. The rocks did there job well and the crowd cheered as some windows were broken. Unfortunately, the windows they broke belonged to the adjacent new, (built 4 years ago), county jail. In a minute or two tops, cops came pouring out of the jail complex like hornets whose hive had been disturbed and they weren't coming out to take a knee.

The social justice warriors couldn't rat out the instigator fast enough and he was hustled off to spend some time contemplating his deed in the very jail he tossed rocks at. The remaining social justice warriors were given the choice of dispersing or joining their companion in jail.

The whole affair was over in time for it to make the 6:00 news and the the riots of 2020 will always be remembered as the defining woke moment for the town... that wasn't
 

Grock

Veteran Member
It’s still 1959 out here. Sure, there’s more drug abuse, and we have our share of fatherless families and welfare queens, but overall… We still go to church. We still farm or garden. We still own firearms. We still hunt and fish. We still raise our kids based on the traditional values of “Do unto others” and “Live and let live.” We still stand for the flag and kneel before God. If the schools become corrupted by way of centralized authority, we homeschool.

Yep. Its gorgeous here too, though a bit dry for this time of the year. No wackadoodles to be seen within 100 miles. Folks just going about their business. As a special bonus they even paved the county road!! Now its smooth as glass, and the big Deere really appreciates that. Rural life is the best
 
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Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
Think he's idealizing it a smidge, but not by a whole lot. It most assuredly has been nice to look out my window in the morning and see nothing particularly different from what I saw five to 10 years ago, but even I know we've got problems. Our school system may not have "failed", but it's not what it was, I'm pretty sure of that.
 

nomifyle

TB Fanatic
There are wackadoodles about 30 miles from me, but not in my near neck of the woods. If there might be any that would be inclinded they'd go to town. I'm in the middle of rednecks that hunt and would not take any nonsense.

I can stay right here in my little piece of heaven on earth and not care what day it is unless its Sunday. The days run together, my life back in New Orleans would not be so simple.

Judy
 

Countrymouse

Country exile in the city
It’s still 1959 out here.

I sure would like to know where "out here" is.

I don't think all of Georgia is big enough to totally escape the nonsense.

I've always dreamed of going up to live in the GA mtns---but so does every rich hoi-polloi in Atlanta, with their fine homes on Lake Rabun and Burton, driving up country land prices until they're as bad as in Buckhead. And in the small towns, too many outsiders and college-types are working hard to "Ashevilleize" the mountain folk---the sturdy, solid, sensible mountain folk (of which stock both my parents come, in past generations).

I would absolutely LOVE it, if some of you don't mind, who are posting about your own corner of "Leavemethe****aloneistan", would post generally where you are---I don't want you to violate your privacy, but maybe something like "X miles away from THIS CITY, Oklahoma" or "right outside THIS CITY, Texas--something like that.

I'm getting older, our sons are (almost) launched, my husband and I (Lord willing) will be retired in about 7 years---and I would SO like to spend the rest of my life in a QUIET place, where people get along, go to church on Sunday, sit on their back porches at night stringing beans and listening to the crickets and far-off baying of somebody's dog, go to sleep listening to the owls, work in the garden in the afternoon listening to the Whoop-per-Will---you get my drift.

I just don't know how to find WHERE those places ARE.
 

Countrymouse

Country exile in the city
Quote:

No matter how much shit the left throws, it never sticks out here in the sticks — unless, of course, we allow it to. If you’re stupid enough to watch cable news, that’s on you. If you’re stupid enough to let the left wind you up and stress you out, that’s on you. But if you live in Rural America and are looking for a little perspective about Real America, turn off that goddamned TV, put down that goddamned phone, grab your dog, a book, and go spend a few hours on your porch.

You are under no obligation to waste your life on Twitter trying to save the world.
You are under no obligation to ruin your life hate-watching cable news.
It’s your corner of the world that matters.
It’s your family that matters.
Take care of that.
Protect that.
Enjoy that.


I get his point, but---

doesn't this old poem apply, as well?---
"They came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up." (quote from tombstone of German pastor Martin Niemöller).

If we don't speak up--if we just LET the "tide of evil" come in---then eventually it will rise, and rise, until we are (first) trapped in our own little island surrounded by rising evil and anarchy, and (finally) drowned beneath it...
 

MinnesotaSmith

Membership Revoked
Think he's idealizing it a smidge, but not by a whole lot. It most assuredly has been nice to look out my window in the morning and see nothing particularly different from what I saw five to 10 years ago, but even I know we've got problems. Our school system may not have "failed", but it's not what it was, I'm pretty sure of that.

Idealizing it rather more IMO. The crash in wages due to 3rd World immigration, deindustrializing America, and enormous reduction in farm labor employment have hit rural America hard. So has the collapse in stable decent lifelong marriages. Plenty of rural U.S. towns in states not bordering Mexico are majority nonwhite that weren't so just a few years ago. Then, there's meth...

The author is purple-pilled IMO. Some of it he gets, much he has no clue about. He's still a civ-nat, no question, and behind the times.
 
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Millwright

Knuckle Dragger
_______________
Countrymouse,

Oklahoma is easy.

Draw a 50 mile circle around OKC and Tulsa...and you are there, for the most part.

In general for anywhere, you want to stay outside of a daily commute to a major city.

Then note attractions for weekenders who are there just often enough to gum up the works. Lakes and recreation destinations.

Don't commit to anywhere before you spend a little time there.
 

moldy

Veteran Member
Yeah, but then you end up in Woodward or Altus....(spent lots of time there when I was younger. No thanks)
 

jed turtle

a brother in the Lord
It’s still 1959 out here.

I sure would like to know where "out here" is.

I don't think all of Georgia is big enough to totally escape the nonsense.

I've always dreamed of going up to live in the GA mtns---but so does every rich hoi-polloi in Atlanta, with their fine homes on Lake Rabun and Burton, driving up country land prices until they're as bad as in Buckhead. And in the small towns, too many outsiders and college-types are working hard to "Ashevilleize" the mountain folk---the sturdy, solid, sensible mountain folk (of which stock both my parents come, in past generations).

I would absolutely LOVE it, if some of you don't mind, who are posting about your own corner of "Leavemethe****aloneistan", would post generally where you are---I don't want you to violate your privacy, but maybe something like "X miles away from THIS CITY, Oklahoma" or "right outside THIS CITY, Texas--something like that.

I'm getting older, our sons are (almost) launched, my husband and I (Lord willing) will be retired in about 7 years---and I would SO like to spend the rest of my life in a QUIET place, where people get along, go to church on Sunday, sit on their back porches at night stringing beans and listening to the crickets and far-off baying of somebody's dog, go to sleep listening to the owls, work in the garden in the afternoon listening to the Whoop-per-Will---you get my drift.

I just don't know how to find WHERE those places ARE.
Hmmm. I’d tell you but then my neighbors would kill me for telling. once upon a time, a long time ago, people would put a name like Paradise in their little piece of heaven, but later they got smart and re-named it things like Slaughterhouseville, to discourage others from finding us.
try running a search for stuff like :
whitest states
safest states
oldest population states
states without rattlesnakes, poisonous spiders, or scorpions...
States with the highest percentage of rural residences
that should narrow down your search...

ETA: when you discover only one state meets all those parameters, please keep it to your own darned self and don’t tell a soul, Thankyouverymuch.
 

Select

Senior Member
I'm in NW NC (about as far as one can get), and there are old mine shafts up here for anything the buzzards, coyotes and bears won't eat. People tend to be polite. Most of Appalachia is that way as far as MYOB is concerned.
Moutain folk in general, there are the exceptions here and there. As described by Shooter, if you need help in almost any way they are more then willing to do anything in their power to help you. If you cross them, you'll spend the rest of your life trying to make amends. I wouldn't want to be surrounded by any other people!
 

Skyraider

Senior Member
It’s the country life for me. It is a beautiful night after an absolutely drenching rain. The frogs are thinking those deep puddles look like heart shaped beds in the Poconos, and they are telling everybody. We are on ten acres in Western Md on a western slope of the Appalachians. 32 years and still can’t see a neighbors house from here.

Skyraider
 

Select

Senior Member
It’s still 1959 out here.

I sure would like to know where "out here" is.

I don't think all of Georgia is big enough to totally escape the nonsense.

I've always dreamed of going up to live in the GA mtns---but so does every rich hoi-polloi in Atlanta, with their fine homes on Lake Rabun and Burton, driving up country land prices until they're as bad as in Buckhead. And in the small towns, too many outsiders and college-types are working hard to "Ashevilleize" the mountain folk---the sturdy, solid, sensible mountain folk (of which stock both my parents come, in past generations).

I would absolutely LOVE it, if some of you don't mind, who are posting about your own corner of "Leavemethe****aloneistan", would post generally where you are---I don't want you to violate your privacy, but maybe something like "X miles away from THIS CITY, Oklahoma" or "right outside THIS CITY, Texas--something like that.

I'm getting older, our sons are (almost) launched, my husband and I (Lord willing) will be retired in about 7 years---and I would SO like to spend the rest of my life in a QUIET place, where people get along, go to church on Sunday, sit on their back porches at night stringing beans and listening to the crickets and far-off baying of somebody's dog, go to sleep listening to the owls, work in the garden in the afternoon listening to the Whoop-per-Will---you get my drift.

I just don't know how to find WHERE those places ARE.
WNC (away from the liberal hot spots) Eastern TN, Northern GA, NW SC
 

TerriHaute

Hoosier Gardener
I'll be darned I live in the same place
Me too! Nolte hits the nail on the head with this one. I have been spending the weekend at a large private campground on a lake in very rural Indiana, attending a family wedding in the park here. It’s as Nolte describes it - diverse people from all walks of life and no one cares. In fact we enjoy it.

BTW, every campsite and golf cart ( preferred method of transportation) has either an American flag or a Trump 2020 flag or both. Grace was said before eating food at the reception and the outside world is completely ignored. Lots of kids riding bikes and scooters and swimming at the beach, people tending campfires, cooking barbecue, fishing and drinking beer, karaoke, and tooling around on golf carts to visit. No masks anywhere, no discussion of current events or politics. It’s understood without saying that everyone is of a like mind and culture. It’s great to be back in 1959.
 

CaryC

Has No Life - Lives on TB
We're pretty much stay at home people, so the social scene is an unknown, however, there are some giveaways. Like Rebel and American flags in the yard. People target shooting on weekends.

A couple of years ago a lesbian wanted to bring her "date" to the prom, and they canceled the prom. The kids held their own in a rec center in the community.

Even though it's an integrated community everyone minds their own business, and have since 1959.

For the home place we love it - country.

We have about 10,000 lightning bugs on our place. They come out about 30 minutes before dark.

Then "The Bat" gets started. Shortly after the bat gets started the Barn Owl will start swooping in for a snack, now that is something to watch.

'Course once it gets dark the frogs come out for their meal. Watch where you step. When they get one it lights up the throat for a minute.

And if you got frogs, you'll probably have snakes. One went crawling by the front step as I sat reading yesterday. Dog thought it was the coolest thing ever and took off after it. So did I with a shovel. Didn't want the thing getting in the house. It was headed around back, where the door was open to let a cool breeze come in.

I told SB that the lightening bugs must be good, cause everything eats them, maybe we should put it on our list as survival food. SB said there was no way she would eat bugs. And I told her they would make her throat light up, it would be cool.
 

twobarkingdogs

Veteran Member
It’s still 1959 out here.

I sure would like to know where "out here" is.

I don't think all of Georgia is big enough to totally escape the nonsense.

I've always dreamed of going up to live in the GA mtns---but so does every rich hoi-polloi in Atlanta, with their fine homes on Lake Rabun and Burton, driving up country land prices until they're as bad as in Buckhead. And in the small towns, too many outsiders and college-types are working hard to "Ashevilleize" the mountain folk---the sturdy, solid, sensible mountain folk (of which stock both my parents come, in past generations).

I would absolutely LOVE it, if some of you don't mind, who are posting about your own corner of "Leavemethe****aloneistan", would post generally where you are---I don't want you to violate your privacy, but maybe something like "X miles away from THIS CITY, Oklahoma" or "right outside THIS CITY, Texas--something like that.

I'm getting older, our sons are (almost) launched, my husband and I (Lord willing) will be retired in about 7 years---and I would SO like to spend the rest of my life in a QUIET place, where people get along, go to church on Sunday, sit on their back porches at night stringing beans and listening to the crickets and far-off baying of somebody's dog, go to sleep listening to the owls, work in the garden in the afternoon listening to the Whoop-per-Will---you get my drift.

I just don't know how to find WHERE those places ARE.

I live in the N.Ga mountains, Union county. First moved up here in 1979 right out of high school. I've gone back and forth between up here and the big city in the 40 years or so since then but I can say it's not the same today as it was back then. 400 and 575/515 have opened the place up and made it easy for the Atlanta folks to have weekend vacation homes up here. I can't complain because since 2001 I was one of them working in atlanta and coming up here to my current place every weekend.

Property is also not as cheap. In the 70's you could get view property for $1k an acre and large parcels of 100+ acres for around $200 to $500 an acre. I just sold a 5 acre track of wooded non-view land in fannin county for a bit less then $30k in total which I had picked up as an investment in the 2008 crash. Most houses on a couple of acres sell for the upper ones or low $200k with some going for much more then that. But you can still find houses for the $60 with an acre or 2 but they will be fixer uppers with no views but just in the woods if you know what I mean.

Big city influences have changed things up here.

Biggest thing I always point out is in the late 70's early 80's there was no cable tv or any place to go in the evenings for social activities so young folks like myself at the time would go into the woods for party activities, drinking, smoking, sex, etc. So a lot of young girls highschool age got pregnant and being from church going families would marry the boy. A year or 2 later they might have another kid but then by the time they were 19 or so about half of them got divorced. So you'd go to church or the grocery store and it would be covered over with young divorced girls with a couple of kids. A good friend at the time who was 30 used to say broken in and ripe for the picking. But he was kind of crude. Now a days the highschool girls are a little smarter and the divorced sweet spot is women in their mid thirties. My friend who is still around and is now in his mid-70's is still just a crude but lucky his age scale has gone up he's just to old to do anything about it now a days.

This is a nice place to live and if you are willing to adjust to the small town ways you will fit right in. Just remember though that you will never be a local and I can say that having known some of these folks since 79.

tbd
 

Matt

Veteran Member
Good read but a little overly optimistic.
My wife and I settled into a small NW Colorado community. It was beautiful, millions of acres of public land, deer and elk hunting that will leave me spoiled for the rest of my life.

There were many very critical downsides. Foremost was the lack of opportunities for young people to earn a living. Anybody worth having in the community had to leave for college or the military upon graduation. This was a very negative "brain drain" on the community. Those bright young people never came back unless there was a ranch to inherit.

What was left was a bunch of stereotypical ignorant white trash. Meth, teen pregnancy, poverty. Local meth billies will view you as a resource, and local LEO wont care, especially if the thief is related to any of the prominent land owners or politicians. DA will plea it down....elected position! I briefly worked for the sheriff's office and saw the reality of this.

You may say no problem, I dont need to work....until you need medical, dental, or other professional services. I used to drive 2 hours to get to steamboat springs for the pediatrician....local docs were bottom of the barrel..mostly travel docs and nurses. Your chest grabber heart attack will be a chopper ride...you better have excellent insurance. Stroke.....sad for you.

If you aren't a local, and if your family ain't from there, you never will be....you will never win a legal dispute against a local. It will take the sheriff well over 30 minutes to respond as well....better be mean and good with a gun.... I have confronted a group of Mexican livestock thieves in the dark. Didn't have to shoot them and never bothered to call the law, neither did they! Cops would have booked and released, waste of everybody's time. They never came back though, my point was made! Shitheads can tell when somebody really is willing to kill them!

I moved to another rural local to provide an opportunity for my sons. Quite a bit bigger and closer to things that matter.

This little small rural 99% community was like living on an Indian reservation in far too many ways.
 

packyderms_wife

Neither here nor there.
Countrymouse,

Oklahoma is easy.

Draw a 50 mile circle around OKC and Tulsa...and you are there, for the most part.

In general for anywhere, you want to stay outside of a daily commute to a major city.

Then note attractions for weekenders who are there just often enough to gum up the works. Lakes and recreation destinations.

Don't commit to anywhere before you spend a little time there.

Watcha think about the Sulfur Oklahoma area up against that big state/national forest?
 

Millwright

Knuckle Dragger
_______________
Watcha think about the Sulfur Oklahoma area up against that big state/national forest?

It's OK.

Not where I would go, all things considered.

The prettiest part of the state is the eastern 1/4.

Hills, valleys, lakes, and such. Much greener, IMO.

Not much economic draw there, a good place to disappear into the woods.

You might hear a little banjo music or see a bigfoot tho. :lol:
 

MountainBiker

Veteran Member
Hmmm. I’d tell you but then my neighbors would kill me for telling. once upon a time, a long time ago, people would put a name like Paradise in their little piece of heaven, but later they got smart and re-named it things like Slaughterhouseville, to discourage others from finding us.
try running a search for stuff like :
whitest states
safest states
oldest population states
states without rattlesnakes, poisonous spiders, or scorpions...
States with the highest percentage of rural residences
that should narrow down your search...

ETA: when you discover only one state meets all those parameters, please keep it to your own darned self and don’t tell a soul, Thankyouverymuch.
I know the answer la la la, but I'll keep it to myself.
 
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