My New Diet.


TB Fanatic
So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food for my dog.
While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Dog food Diet again,
and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load
your pockets with dog food Nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again.

( I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to

sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard.