…… My dh is a DGI, Need help from the men here please

[KateCanada]

I showed him the video from our own news!!!! He gets angry when I shop for preps. Please guys here, spell it out for him. Tell him what you're doing. He is more interested in upgrading a quad, money wise then installing wood heat????? Makes a mess to him. He doesn't get anything, I'm trying to explain things. Please help me help him about our home. Tell him what's going on. I've done that for years, but I'm not getting anywhere. Maybe hearing from guys here he will understand. Last hope.

I really need help. Please. I've been on my own since I learned.

Talk to him about guns, everything.

Rick, that's his name.

God Bless you all. He's a good man, just not convinced.

 

[KateCanada]

I just asked dh, what if someone smashes through our door, grabs me, what would you do if he has a gun/knife? He was speechless, he said guns are in the bedroom and bullets outside in our garage. There you go......., zero defense. Everything is only for hunting, nothing for human defense.

 

[KateCanada]

I'm getting really scared you guys. We finally have two incomes, but I want them to help us be ok again. Not waisted. I think my marriage is finally coming on track, bills paid. But, he wants to spend the new found money for things we don't need IMO, based on my knowledge from here, TB2K. Not toys!

I bought him a chain saw.

I bought him a wood splitter.

He bought me a generator (used) to shut me up I'm sure.

I should let him go...............44 and still messed up.

 

[thompson]

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink".

 

[ARMY RANGER]

Kate my friend, guns and ammo and food is what you are going to need.A quad is also an excellent prep item that could save your life.Being able to go off road and what not .He will come around ,please be patient my dear friend.The good lord wil show him the way.God bless and if you feel the need to talk just pm mewhenever although I am going to bed now ( the pain meds are really kickin in ).AR

 

[KateCanada]

I wish so bad he would at least read through this site. I have always begged him to. It`s difficult to prep on your own. He gave my stored garden seeds away!!!!!! thinking I was dumb.

 

[KateCanada]

Kate my friend, guns and ammo and food is what you are going to need.A quad is also an excellent prep item that could save your life.Being able to go off road and what not .He will come around ,please be patient my dear friend.The good lord wil show him the way.God bless and if you feel the need to talk just pm mewhenever although I am going to bed now ( the pain meds are really kickin in ).AR

Love you buddy.

 

[rhughe13]

I would recommend a new hobby like going to, or joining a gun range. Go twice a week to shoot and hang out. Its a great place to meet like minded people and improve a well needed skill.

Talk about how much fun you are having, and how much the guys are willing to help you.

I'd give it a couple of months and he will probably decide to join with you.

 

[tanstaafl]

Tell him that he'll be getting a LOT of new toys, except that these toys might make life a lot easier (and possibly even save lives) if something bad happens.

You're in Canada and so he might therefore think the craziness can only happen down south of the border, but bad things happen in Canada, too. A tv show about the January 1998 ice storm in Quebec scared the crap out of me and I wasn't within 1,000 miles of it. The Canadian authorities themselves are on record as saying if that event had lasted longer than the four days it did they would have been all but completely helpless to get aid to the people.

If your hubbie can't (or won't) face the possibility that the infrastructure can break down when there's a long, long list of disasters (not what-if's, but actual historical disasters) where exactly that happens, then I really don't know what you can do for him. You might want to consider that some people (maybe including your husband) will just shut down mentally and emotionally in the face of disaster and continue to try planning around it.

 

[Running Dog]

What are his interests? Maybe you can join him on his hobbies. Try your best and then some to love him, more. Pray , and ask God to show you how to care for him.
I know we are prepping so much. But enjoy life in many other areas , as well.
I once was told by a lady, who was in the early stages of illness. She told me to love your husband, because you don't know what tomorrow holds.

 

[Fruitbowl]

What are his interests? Maybe you can join him on his hobbies. Try your best and then some to love him, more. Pray , and ask God to show you how to care for him.
I know we are prepping so much. But enjoy life in many other areas , as well.
I once was told by a lady, who was in the early stages of illness. She told me to love your husband, because you don't know what tomorrow holds.

Good advice above.

My own opinion: You can prep all you want, but eventually all of us has to die. And truly, we don't know what's around the corner.

There's something to be said for enjoying life, so long as you don't hurt others in doing so.

 

[Jumpy Frog]

Let God show him if he needs to be shown.

If your forcing the prep subject he'll just tune/drown you out.............it's how any good husband survives marriage.

IMO prepping is a calling from God.

 

[shane]

KateCanada, I don't know about convincing him, but you've got to keep on prepping regardless.

I also don't know what you have or need, prep wise, but...

A lot of what you might still need to stock up more of is stuff you always need and use on a regular basis already. That's the easiest stuff to rationalize getting more of to a DGI until they start coming around.

All kinds of food and food storage supplies is top of that list, OTC medicines & prescriptions, even washing soap, toilet paper, razors, etc. Most everything you buy regularly and consume.

Find good deals on the above and load up and also remind him proudly, as he see's it stacking up, that the costs for all this stuff, that you just got on-sale and by buying in bulk, will also be going up in price anyways. You are thus saving money on stuff you are going to need and use anyways even if, heaven forbid, TS never HTF!

Same goes for loading up on every type of ammo caliber he has guns for, as it's going up in price darn near monthly and lasts forever, storage-wise. Same thing for cans of oil and five gallon jugs of fuels for your vehicles and generator, etc. Everything that's going up in price is well worthwhile you getting more of now before it does.

Then start stretching that to expanding your garden, to save money on food, with supplies and tools and then maybe chickens and rabbits, etc.

Be creative, find dual uses for other needed stuff, best as you can, to rationalize getting them, too. Wife of one customer here would absolutely not buy into the need for a fallout shelter in their backyard, but she did OK her husband coming home with a combo tornado shelter, wine cellar, root cellar, which was the same fallout shelter.

Good Luck to you, KateCanada, I know it's hard, but reality or oftentimes just somebody else telling him what you've been saying all along will eventually awaken him some and if you are easy on his ego then with few of those well deserved "I told you so's" he'll be more likely then to also eagerly step up to the plate.

- Shane

 

[NH Yankee]

My first reaction is that you are pushing him. I read you couple of posts and felt I should push back. Ease off and let GOD do his work.

That said, my DW was not interested in the preps. Over time she had come around. It is especially convincing when she does not have to make a special trip to the store for that extra cup of sugar, or the extra can of tomatoe paste to make the sauce just right. Having the garden was helpful as she seens the benefits of coming home from work and eating fresh corn on the cobb for supper, cukes and tomatoes in the salad.

Camping is more of a man's sport, go camping, better yet go backpacking. Both of these activities require many prep items. If he likes hunting camping should be no problem.

Hope this helps. (if not disregard)

 

[amarilla]

Shane, I'm not Kate but the "I'm saving money" doesn't work with my DH. He believes there will always be stuff at the stores and he'd rather pay more at the store than see it in the house. "You don't need 4 cans of beans."

I wish I knew the magic too, Kate.

The only thing that has partially worked is having the kids in Boy Scouts and American Heritage Girls and gettting them camping supplies. It's not much, as in one dutch oven, but that's more than nothing. One fishing pole for them to share. It's also allowed a few first aid supplies-some big bandages kind of thing.

A

 

[AusieGrandad]

It's insurance

Tell Him its about insurance and lifestyle.

You pay insurance on your house but you don't expect it to burn down.
You buy some preps that you hope you may not need .

Other preps save money and enable a better lifestyle.
e.g. you buy in bulk and save money because of cheaper prices & less trips to stores. This enables you to have nice home cooked food instead of saturated fat, unhealthy take-aways.

AG

 

[BassMan]

Turning someone who believes the "conventional wisdom" from the mass-media can be difficult to turn into a tin-foil hat, "we're all gonna die" hard-core prepper. I've been following this stuff for 10+ years, fully "get it", but still don't prep much beyond routine outages.

I'd start with the sort of scenario that you are prepping for. I prep for water and power outages, and limited lack of food availability, but nothing like the "true believers" here.

It would help to be crystal-clear about the magnitude of "an event" that you are prepping for, and how realistic/useful your response could be. It's one thing to plan for a routine power-outage, job loss or minor increase in crime. It's another thing to go "Mad Max", after "the big one". In a "Mad Max" scenario, I don't think you can really keep much more than the "shirt on your back", and attend to rudimentary shelter, food and water concerns.

 

[Amazed]

I think it's a matter of compromise. Don't try to take all the extra money to prep. He's been through a hard time the last couple of years too and perhaps is wanting a toy or two to assure himself that things are getting better. So share the new found wealth. ie You can buy the quad but I want this much money to store this for my own peace of mind. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. He doesn't have to believe the world is falling apart. He just has to honor your right to a share of the surplus and the right to spend it as you wish. Compromise.

 

[BlueNewton]

Rick,

Get with the program! The days of frivolity are GONE!!!


Kate, you have to decide if your husband putting your life and safety at risk by interfering with your prepping is a deal breaker or not. He needs to get his priorities in order quickly. No adult needs babying. They needs straight facts and can decide for themselves how they want to behave. I can tell you if anyone threw my seeds away and ridiculed me about my decisions in this regard, I would consider them a big risk to my well being. I would have zero telerance for that and would make it clear immediately. I certainly would NOT baby him until he comes around. He should get with the program or get out of the way. This is serious business and should be treated as such.

 

[fruit loop]

My DGI spouse rolled his eyes and said I was turning into a survivalist fruit loop. So I changed my name and simply used my income to stock preps.

He came around when Hurricane Floyd roared through here. He was OCD and went into panic mode. I told him to sit down, shut up, and watch The Weather Channel, because I already had everything we needed.

Carolina got a hundred-year blizzard in January 2000. We ran out of regular food and subsisted on my prep stock.

He started helping me buy preps.

Wait'll there's an ice storm or a blizzard, Kate. He'll wake up then.

 

[Cardinal]

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him think".

Waking up is something he will have to do himself. You can't shove awareness or your own worldview down anyone's throat.
I told my sis for years to store food. Only with the sharp increase in gas prices did she start to get it.

 

[Nuthatch]

Kate, I get a feeling your real feelings of dismay are more related to this last sentence you wrote than his not prepping, "I should let him go...............44 and still messed up."

If there are other issues, that may be the case. Otherwise, the more you panic re: guns and dramas that might happen the more he will think you need a tin foil hat.

And throwing away your seeds wasn't a passive act because he didn't get it, it was an act of aggression and unhappiness regarding your relationship. Disrespectful all the way.

I am sure he has other magnificent character traits or you wouldn't be with him. Compromise is worth it. Slow down and don't try to do everything at once and pace yourself.

Consider taking the time to assess the whole relationship. You'll know what to do.

 

[White Sunlight]

I agree with Shane, keep prepping anyway.

But the heart of the matter is that the famine will be so sore and so long that no matter how you prepare physically, you best be prepared spiritually to handle what is coming.

So with the Holy Spirits guidance, seek the face of Christ daily, for many will fall away in the coming years and few lack the understanding of how long the road is even in good times.

We are being tribulated to make us saints, the Day of the Lord, the Wrath to come is for the vessels of dishonor after the seven years.

So prepare spiritually and as Peter says:

1Pe 3:13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be zealous of that which is good?
1Pe 3:14 But even if ye should suffer for righteousness' sake, blessed are ye: and fear not their fear, neither be troubled;
1Pe 3:15 but sanctify in your hearts Christ as Lord: being ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear:
1Pe 3:16 having a good conscience; that, wherein ye are spoken against, they may be put to shame who revile your good manner of life in Christ.

Peace be unto you.

 

[ceeblue]

And here I thought a quad was a shortwave radio antenna. Silly me. So it's some kind of vehicle like a dune buggy?

I'd let him have it without complaint. He needs something to work on, too. It will be relaxing for him and a source of accomplishment. That's worth some bucks. If he's had to do without, it will ease that burden. And it was a burden for him, even if he didn't talk about how he felt about not having toys. It will keep him out from under your feet. I suppose he's prepped by having his own tools? lubricants? supplies? If you admire his work and progress, he will shine. An admiring "Oh honey, you did that all by yourself?" will fluff his feathers up fine.

Prepping is your toy. He needs his own.

You might also consider not talking to him about your pantry, your worries for the future, the daily state of your financial affairs, and not going to the store as often. It's a lousy life if you're so worried about prepping for the hard times tomorrow that you can't enjoy today. Go ahead and save for the woodburner. That's an excellent idea. Maybe you'll find a small used one at a very good price and can put it in the garage for him. His nest needs feathering, too.

A man is a most excellent prep to have around. Put some attention into making him happy, let him enjoy himself and he will be more enjoyable. If you want him to be generous with you, you need to help him get to where he feels confident and able to be generous.

 

[Burt Gummer]

You are a rare breed; a gal that likes to prep.
Maybe you could get him to read James Wesley Rawles book, "Patriots."
Don't loose faith cause when TSHTF Rick is gonna be thanking you big time.

 

[Fleataxi]

KC: I was going to recommend a viscious kick to the nads to re-boot his system, but I think the other poster's advice is better!

Fleataxi

 

[SarahLynn]

I have similar problems with my DGI husband. He doesn't mind a few preps such as extra food, since we can use those things eventually, but he'll only go to a point. For instance, for several months last year I began commenting that we should start thinking about laying in a store of firewood, "just in case we get a storm like Quebec had." He'd always agree but never actually DO anything about getting the wood. Now it's going to be difficult to get firewood because of the Emerald Ash Borer scare and limits on bringing wood in from out of area. And of course the price is now such that he will be very reluctant to buy any even if if it came right down to me really bugging him to do it.
A few years ago I wanted to get kero for our kerosene stove, he put it off and put it off and now the stuff is worth liquid gold, and we can forget going that route!
What I've been doing is buying as much as I can under the guise of camping trips, but even then there are limits to what can be done (it's not like you need bulk quantities of things like fuel for a one week camping trip once a year!)
So I do what I can do and what he agrees with doing, and ultimately I have to leave the rest up to God to either change my DH's perspective or to provide for us.

 

[eXe]

Show him these pics.. empty shelves in stores after hurricanes. These are real.. just some I saved off various prep boards. Most of them are after Katrina.

It wont take much for this to happen again.

 

[Pass Go]

Rick, If you don't believe we are one "event" away from life as we know it you are living in the past. The economy, price of oil, threat of war and terrorism, and political stupidity around the world no longer afford you the opportunity to disregard your family's comfort and safety.

Prepping isn't a Chicken Little thing.

Kate, take Rick to the BS and Prep pages and do a little reading together.

 

[Double_A]

Waking up is something he will have to do himself. You can't shove awareness or your own worldview down anyone's throat.
I told my sis for years to store food. Only with the sharp increase in gas prices did she start to get it.

Agreed.

He's either scared to think about things going south, because he can't control it.

or he simply doesn't think it's going to happen.

The only solution is for him to have an oh my god moment. Let's hope your prepping will ease the pain.

 

[styerscout308]

Hi, KateCanada. I sympathize with you. My wife is still not there (or is it here??) on prepping. But she has come a long way... much of it by the same paths mentioned in the posts above. i.e. seeing the benefits of bulk-buying and cost-averaging of fuel.
If you are interested in a slightly academic presentation about *how* to communicate worst-case scenarios, there is an excellent article by Peter Sandman (sounds like he would put you to sleep, doesn't it? ;-) ) at http://www.psandman.com/col/birdflu.htm.
Personally, I would suggest that you pray for progress, do what you can do (as you are!) , and don't push too hard. Regards, -styerscout308

 

[tanstaafl]

It occurred to me later that maybe hubby thinks you're just looking for ways for him to do more work around the house and/or cut into his "me" time? If you're telling him that he has to work in the garden several times a week or that he'll have to chop wood for the wood stove or that he'll finally have to really clean out the basement and/or garage to make room for your preps, well, there's your problem right there. At that point you're nagging him, not guiding him.

Now if you can get him to do those things thinking it was HIS idea all along, then you'll be well on your way. That's how the scheming women did it in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," which brings to mind the line from the movie about the husband being the head of the house but the wife is the neck that turns the head.

 

[BlueNewton]

GREAT pics, Exe. If that doesn't do it, probably nothing will!

 

[armadillogray]

I went on a business trip to Indiana one day. There was a blizzard overnight, my meeting was called off and I had to cross-country ski to a grocery store. The store was empty except for kitty litter and a few paper products so I survived on a hostess gift of liquor and chocolate til I could get out. That really left an impression and I promised myself never to get into a situation like that again.

My DH is also a DGI. There are a few stores within two miles and he sees no reason to stock or have a garden. However, I also belong to Freecycle and have a cousin in the estate sale business so anything really weird around here he attributes to those two sources. I had an aneurysm a few years ago so he blames strange behavior on that (I am thankful I have my brain and no problems with the reasoning) Maybe God works in mysterious ways. I have been using all to my advantage and am grateful we have an empty nest with lots of closet space and room below the beds. What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.......

I let him do whatever makes him happy and I do my stuff and all is fine.

 

[Jonas Parker]

I would recommend a new hobby...

...or a new hubby...

 

[Scotto]

Kate,

My wife was a DGI until recently. It was hard for her to come to terms with it, accept it or be "convicted" which is what needs to happen. She battles depression, so it was not a happy thing to talk about. But now she is a full-blown GI.

Instead of pushing him to prep, push him to read things like articles or the BS here of 'when not if' TSHTF scenarios. Have him read "Alas, Babylon." Once he gets convicted of it, you won't need to push him at all, he will push himself.

The only thing I would say to him, is;
"Hey Rick, you are supposed to be the guardian and protector and provider for your family. When TSHTF, how are you planning to be that man? Do you not have a gun loaded and at the ready lest someone break into your home and threaten bodily harm? The time is short, listen to your wife. You better wake up and see what's going on in this world, and how close we are to TSHTF. We may only have days. And if TSHTF and you are still in DGI mode, I hope you can live with the guilt you will bear. You will have failed your family."

Good luck Kate.

 

[Camasjune]

Kate, your'e not the only one who lost a lot during your financial crisis. Your husband lost, too. Both of you have to deal with that in your own ways, and both of you need to be sensitive to the other.

Every man needs a hobby. That one phrase makes every wife roll her eyes, but it is true. Respect your husband's hobby, prep for the parts of the hobby that contribute to the family's wellbeing and puts food on the table. Let me venture to state, there are no such thing as too many guns, too many fishing poles, too much ammo, too much tackle. Respect and support his hobbies.

Insist he respect and support your hobby, prepping. Tell him he may not give your stuff away, he may not invalidate your positive contributions to the wellbeing of your family.

If you are the one in charge of grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking, get your budget lean and mean and put some of that grocery money towards preps. Buy in bulk and store it properly. Cook from scratch and make batches to freeze for quick and easy meals for days when you both work. Get frugal and learn new skills. Learn to can, make jam and all that fun stuff. It doesn't take very long to get ahead on the groceries when you are frugal so you have more money to go toward the preps you want.

I catch a lot of ribbing about my preps from some people. I tell the DGIs I shop that way so I don't have to go to the store if I don't want to. I don't have to waste the gas or time to shop when I keep a full pantry. The truth is, my grocery budget is only about 1/4 of what it was 8 years ago and we are eating better.

I know people in the premium grocery business have some mistaken beliefs about their food supply. It was neccessary for them to believe these things so they could tell their customers why their products cost more and are better than the competitors. My best friends have been in the premium grocery business for 40 years. They know they should prep, but they don't think it is doable.

They mistakenly believe canned food has a shelf life of only 6 months, dry goods such as beans, rice, pasta and flour have a shelf life of 3 months. Informing them that agricultural harvests are once a year and the produce is dried, canned and frozen and kept in warehouses indefinitely, sometimes years, until it reaches their premium grocery shelves brings a blank look to their faces.

These people actually throw away their dry goods after 3months, and their canned goods, 6 months after purchase, all the while complaining how they can't afford to buy groceries.

Anyway Kate, get frugal with the budget you have. Learn new ways to shop and prepare food. Put your savings towards preps and insist your DH respects that.

 

[buttie]

This will probably elicit a corris of groans around here but Alex Jones videos have woken up more people to what is really going in the world that anything else that I know if. Once he understands the dangers of what is planned for him, his natural male instincts will kick in then lookout.

 

[pkchicken]

Throw out your seeds? That was an attack!
Ask yourself why he would do this.

It's hard for a man to edify a woman who does not edify him. It would be like saying " yuh uhuh I'm worthless...she's right"

So he fights you, nevermind if it makes no sense what he fights. He must fight you or else he supports your treatment of him....


The strongest prep you have (or don't have) is a solid marriage. Without that, everything else seems meaningless. A person can go through any hardship as long as they have the support of a loved one.

There's alot to be said for being "submissive". There are books on the subject of being a submissive wife and why it works in your favor so I won't go into that.

A woman once told me...."treat your husband like a guest in your house on the Sabbath" that really stuck with me and I have always tried to do just that. WE have our differences but I try to remember that it's his life too and he has full human rights.

If I want in, I have to find a way in, marriage is not ownership but a personal decision, every day.
Some folks wonder why I "LET " DH go here and there on his dive trips. Well it's his life and he should have the freedom to live it. That freedom ....how can it be measured? The faith, edification and appreciation keeps him comming back for more.....well of course it does.

Take yourself off the trophy wife pedestal and put him up there instead and I guarantee you'll see a change in his cooperation and attitude towards your endeavors.

Yeah you asked for Men to respond to this thread....OH well....This is input from a trophy wife who has the cooperation of her respected and cared for man.

Best wishes.
Get started!

pk

pm me, let me know how you are doing. I fully expect you to work on this.

 

[Scotto]

I have always been the type that the man is the king of his house, but I also know that my wife is the queen. Together we are one unit. My wife is not on a pedestal, and she does not have me up on one either. We have been together for 25 years next month, lots of good times and lots of bad. But you need to forgive, then God will bless your marriage and you will grow together.

When my wife and I got together, she was 16 and I was 17, we were into drinking, smoking weed and all kinds of stupid $h!t. Party party party. Now by the way we are, you'd never guess the way we were, we have grown so much together thru God's help, and he has blessed us very much.

Am I hard headed? You betcha. But if my wife wants to tell me something very important to her, or ask me to do something, she'll sit me down, hold my face in her hands, and I know then that she is baring her soul. And I listen.

Kate, tell Rick you don't want to argue, but make a plea for him to hear you out, and do some reading for you. You need to change his mind, not what he thinks or does. Get some fear into that man. Bare your soul to him.