CRIME Man charged with "battery on a police officer" for farting on cop

F

Fred

Middle of the road
http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/29653059.html

Man Passes Gas, Gets Charged with Battery

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- As if getting a DUI wasn’t enough, a man arrested for driving under the influence got in a lot more trouble at the police station.

Police stopped Jose Cruz on Route 60 in South Charleston Monday night for driving with his headlights off.

Then, he failed sobriety tests and was arrested.

When police were trying to get fingerprints, police say Cruz moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong.

Cruz is now charged with battery on a police officer, as well as DUI and obstruction.
 
D_el

D_el

Veteran Member
Police claim Jose Cruz cut loose on them with the deadly 'Tripple Flutter Blast".

That maneuver has only been successfully accomplished by five people in the whole world. All the others who have tried it have been disqualified when they lost bowel control and s*it themselves at the moment of triumph.
 
L

Les

Inactive
Stupidity:screw:......Don't these young cops realize that stacking any charge they can come up with usually backfires....It makes you look bad to the judge and or jury......

Les,
a retired LEO
 
B

Bret4207

Senior Member
Well that stinks!

Stupid arrests like this make me wish to return to the old days when if someone did something like that to you, you just gave them a dope slap them on the head and got on with life. Of course that was back when men were men and all that type of stuff.
 
F

Fred

Middle of the road
WV law said:
Any person who unlawfully, knowingly and intentionally makes physical contact of an insulting or provoking nature with a police officer, probation officer, conservation officer, humane officer, emergency medical service personnel, firefighter, State Fire Marshal or employee, Division of Forestry employee, county correctional employee, state correctional employee, employee of a mass transportation system, Public Service Commission motor carrier inspector or Public Service Commission weight enforcement officer acting in his or her official capacity, or unlawfully and intentionally causes physical harm to a police officer, probation officer, conservation officer, humane officer, emergency medical service personnel, firefighter, State Fire Marshal or employee, Division of Forestry employee, county correctional employee, state correctional employee, employee of an urban mass transportation system, Public Service Commission motor carrier inspector or Public Service Commission weight enforcement officer acting in such capacity is guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction thereof, shall be confined in jail for not less than one month nor more than twelve months, fined the sum of five hundred dollars, or both. If any person commits a second such offense, he or she is guilty of a felony and, upon conviction thereof, shall be confined in a state correctional facility for not less than one year nor more than three years or fined the sum of one thousand dollars or both fined and confined. Any person who commits a third violation of this subsection is guilty of a felony and, upon conviction thereof, shall be confined in a state correctional facility not less than two years nor more than five years or fined not more than two thousand dollars or both fined and confined. (source)
Click to expand...
For a fart.
 
B

Bret4207

Senior Member
Based on the statute Fred provided, and assuming farting isn't covered under the definition of "physical contact", then it doesn't fit and will be thrown out. The only other possibility I can think of is case law saying a fart is contact. Now if the drunk stuck his butt up against the guys leg and let'er rip....then it fits.
 
nharrold

nharrold

Deceased
Fred said:
http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/29653059.html

Man Passes Gas, Gets Charged with Battery

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- As if getting a DUI wasn’t enough, a man arrested for driving under the influence got in a lot more trouble at the police station.

Police stopped Jose Cruz on Route 60 in South Charleston Monday night for driving with his headlights off.

Then, he failed sobriety tests and was arrested.

When police were trying to get fingerprints, police say Cruz moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong.

Cruz is now charged with battery on a police officer, as well as DUI and obstruction.
Click to expand...

Also known as "contempt of cop".
 
nharrold

nharrold

Deceased
Les said:
Stupidity:screw:......Don't these young cops realize that stacking any charge they can come up with usually backfires....It makes you look bad to the judge and or jury......

Les,
a retired LEO
Click to expand...

Just one more example of why people in general have so little use for cops...
 
S

Spark Farkle

Contributing Member
D_el said:
Police claim Jose Cruz cut loose on them with the deadly 'Tripple Flutter Blast".

That maneuver has only been successfully accomplished by five people in the whole world. All the others who have tried it have been disqualified when they lost bowel control and s*it themselves at the moment of triumph.
Click to expand...

I'm going to rule it a thunderspreck and award 30 points. :ecrz:
 
brandyh29

brandyh29

Inactive
Bret4207 said:
Well that stinks!

Stupid arrests like this make me wish to return to the old days when if someone did something like that to you, you just gave them a dope slap them on the head and got on with life. Of course that was back when men were men and all that type of stuff.
Click to expand...

The dude was *already under arrest....for DUI. I tend to have little sympathy for drunks who drive and put innocent lives at risk.
 
Satanta

Satanta

Stone Cold Crazy
_______________
I guess I am the odd one here but I have a severe problem with someone doing that to or around me.

Flatulate on me and I *will* beat you to death.

Friend of mine who was an drunk belched beer in my face one night from about two inches away. Because he was a freind I told him point blank and in no uncertain terms that if it happened again I would shoot him.

So from my standpoint the officer is going easy on him because if I were booking him he would have suffered traumatic injury on the spot.
 
Sozo

Sozo

Insignificant Contributor
I read this story, then came here just to see if Fred had posted it.

Ya can't get one past him!
 
Dennis Olson

Dennis Olson

Chief Curmudgeon
_______________
My computer buddy used to come into my office when we worked together each morning, sit down at the chair next to my desk, and vent his intestinal gas. I told him over and over again to knock it off, but he just thought it was so funny. I told him that if I wanted to smell that, I'd just stick my head up his a$$. Since then, we've never worked together again, but if we ever did, and he tried that again, I'd have a spray-bottle of the nastiest perfume I could lay my hands on, and I'd let him have a pant-load full of it.

Never again.
 
D

DoomBuggy

Veteran Member
D_el said:
Police claim Jose Cruz cut loose on them with the deadly 'Tripple Flutter Blast".

That maneuver has only been successfully accomplished by five people in the whole world. All the others who have tried it have been disqualified when they lost bowel control and s*it themselves at the moment of triumph.
Click to expand...

:prfl:
 
C

Cheval

Veteran Member
This does bring up an interesting question: If they tazed him at the same time he farted would it have lit? Roman candle?
 
R

Richard

TB Fanatic
potentially very dangerous, a fart is an explosive discharge that could easily have been ignited with the effect of a flame thrower
 
Kronos

Kronos

Veteran Member
Remembering that Sly Stallone movie (senior moment, forget the title),
where he is a transient Viet Vet walking into a very hostile small town,
there is that scene where they are trying to get his prints, and he is resisting.

The 'officials' were pretty much wrassling with him
(but of course, that being Hollywood, mere upper-arm strength was defeating them).

Now, if this 'alcohol impaired' perp were at all resisting a la Sylvester, it is not too far fetched to imagine,
that there may have been some wrassling going on, and that certain man-parts may have
not altogether voluntarily, come to be in close proximity to other man-parts...
and all that duress, may have impaired the perp's abilities (and inclinations) to 'restrain' Nature's outburst.

Just some Devil's Advocating, here.
 
D_el

D_el

Veteran Member
Dennis Olson said:
"Domestic terrorist"... ;)
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No kidding. It's a wonder they didn't charge him with 'unauthorized dispersal of chemical/biological agents'. I say confine him in the nearest church and make him sit in his own pew.
 
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O

Oilpatch Hand

3-Bomb General, TB2K Army
This reminds me of an incident in Waco, TX, about 20 years ago. Seems a student was driving on one of the public roads through the Baylor University campus, when he was stopped for speeding by a campus cop. The detained driver then thought it would be a great idea to unleash a vicious stream of reeking bowel gas in the general direction of the officer.

Bear in mind that the driver was still sitting in his car when he "assaulted" the officer. The car window was down and the "effluent" was venting to the open atmosphere.

The first ticket was for speeding. The second ticket was for violation of Waco's "noxious odor" ordinance.

Wish I could remember how that whole episode ended. :lol:






























"...assaulted the officer." With a fart. I guess that would make the defendant's butt an "assault weapon." Calling Barack Hussein Mohammed Obama Soetoro...you have a public health emergency in McLennan County, Texas... :lkick:
 
Scotto

Scotto

Set Apart
My dad had bad gastro problems, and had half of his stomach removed due to a severe ulcer. He was the 'fart king.' Ugh.

Tortured my mom by farting in bed and pulling the covers over her.
The dreaded "Dutch oven" treatment.
 
D

Donald Shimoda

In Absentia
Scotto said:
My dad had bad gastro problems, and had half of his stomach removed due to a severe ulcer. He was the 'fart king.' Ugh.

Tortured my mom by farting in bed and pulling the covers over her.
The dreaded "Dutch oven" treatment.
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Howdy, Folks!

Well...considering how Missus Shimoda responds when I crack one off in her vicinity - bedroom or otherwise - I'd say this fellah could even be charged with "assult with a deadly weapon."

[I have brought tears to my own eyes before... :shkr: ]
 
H

Harbinger

Veteran Member
Satanta said:
I guess I am the odd one here but I have a severe problem with someone doing that to or around me.

Flatulate on me and I *will* beat you to death.


Ya know, I must be the odd one here because as long as its some one close to me I don't have a problem with it. If one can't loosen up in front of family and trust them with our most disgusting habits and traits then why be around those people. Half the time we are laughing at the noise it made or the potency. In fact we must have 5,000 different names for different back door explosions! Now if its a total stranger...Thats a different story! I don't know the person or where they've been and they let one rip...I do have a problem with that...I realize that the gas was trapped for God knows how long in that persons rear and then up my nostrils...if I wanted that...then I would do what Dennis has already flatly stated....go and plant my head up there! I remember being in Toys r us one time and went down an empty isle and to this day I wish I hadn't gone down that Isle for who ever was there previously left a gut grenade that went off after I got there! I was literally ill for the rest of that day!

The Freeholder said:
If I were that cop, I'd feel incredibly stupid sitting on a witness stand and recounting the facts of the incident.
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Yeah, I can just picture that....

Yes, your honor....the first ticket is a dui.....the second is for the explosion of noxious fumes that protruded from this man's backside while he was being fingerprinted. He was less than six inches away from me when this happened and thus it was obviously intentional! ....okay! :lkick:
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