So a husband tells his wife he'll never drink again because of obvious reasons. He comes home late and his wife says, "You've been drinking! I can smell it on you! And look! You have vomit on your shirt!" The guy says, "No, I haven't been drinking and that vomit is from a ne'er do well who puked on me! I am sober as a judge! In fact he gave me ten bucks to get my shirt cleaned. It's in the pocket." The wife goes into the pocket of the shirt to retrieve the 10 spot and pulls out a twenty. She says, "What the heck is this? You said he gave you 10 bucks." The husband says, "Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants too!"