PRYR RQST Have to make a decision BY TOMORROW on job relocation (prayer request)(update Post #91)

amazon

Senior Member
Dh rented cheap apt for 5 years. Drove to work very early Mon AM, came home after work Friday. Many times he would come home Wed night and go back early Thursday. I pray you are given peace about your decision. Stress is very harmful healthwise. He may be extending his life leaving a toxic environment. If God has made a path for you, He will continue to help you on that path. He knows you need a place to live. He will give you the wisdom you need.
 

Txkstew

Veteran Member
I've worked out of town a few times, and did the long commute several times. Extended Stays are nice, but I was paying $440 a week, and my company paid me $300 a week per diem and gave me a $10 hr bump in pay. We worked 4-10hr days and I'd head home after work on Thursday. Did that for 8 months.

Last gig was for as as long, but 3 hr drive. There, we worked the 9/80 schedule where you get every other Friday off, and I only went home every two weeks. I stayed at a very nice RV park, two miles from my work site. $450 a month + electric. I bought my Brother's 5th wheel for $1000 a month for six months. Had to use his truck to haul it. Covid pulled the plug on that gig.

I understand the angst that goes with leaving a "sure thing" job for the unknown. Done it and pulled it off successfully. But sometimes you got to go with a leap of faith.
 

SamGribley

Contributing Member
Prayer said. I agree with the small RV idea. I got transfered from AZ to Pensacola FL right after hurricane Ivan, nothing available for 60 miles. Got an RV and stayed in it for 3 years, we had a blast.
 

Maryh

Veteran Member
Daughter's husband works out of town and comes home on Fri. Since the job site is different every couple of weeks, the company pays for his motel room. They are making it work. When I was at home, my father was civil service and we moved about every 2 1/2 yrs. We just did it and I had a very interesting life with friends all over. I would go for it and make it an adventure. Go to the new city and ck it out for a week. He should talk to new co-coworkers and find out about the different areas and where they live. Have courage and go for it. His health is so worth it.
 

Meemur

Voice on the Prairie
Just tossing this out there: occasionally, there are some men who just can't cope with living in a hotel room for longer than a month or so. They need their family with them. That's just how it is. That might be part of what's happening.

I really think if the new company wants him, HR or someone will be willing to help with relocation.

It's also really stressful on some families to be split up like that for more than a few months. It just won't work for some marriages, plus there are also financial aspects.

More power to you if you can make commuting work! But it's not for all situations.
 

bassgirl

Veteran Member
Get as big a trailer as you can afford. learn to live in it during the week, come home on the weekends. Cheaper than a motel all week. And you can sell the trailer when you don’t need it anymore.

Lot of fairly new good ones around lake areas.

Plus at age 50, it’s hard to start over in a new place. You would only be there for 15 years, more than likely.
 

Txkstew

Veteran Member
Daughter's husband works out of town and comes home on Fri. Since the job site is different every couple of weeks, the company pays for his motel room. They are making it work. When I was at home, my father was civil service and we moved about every 2 1/2 yrs. We just did it and I had a very interesting life with friends all over. I would go for it and make it an adventure. Go to the new city and ck it out for a week. He should talk to new co-coworkers and find out about the different areas and where they live. Have courage and go for it. His health is so worth it.
My Dad was a Road Warrior too. We always were on the move. He did it chasing the bigger bucks, and made it work. We're from Houston, but I was born in San Antonio, Tx. We lived in the following places along with my four Brothers, and Mom during my first 18 years.
San Antonio Tx
Houston Tx
Borger, Tx
Houston,Tx
Mobile Alabama
Cartersville Georgia
Austin Tx
Cartersville again
Houston again
Madrid, Spain
Houston again
Kwajalein, Marshall Islands
Houston again
Kwajalein again
Salt Lake City, Utah
Houston again
Dhahran, Saudi Arabia
Beaumont, Tx

And Damn if I haven't stuck here for 47 years now, but not without moving around 15 times in this area. Been here on my farm for 33 years. So moving around was my norm for so long.

I might have one more move in me. Might just sell the farm and buy a big Sail Boat. Then I could do some serious moving around.
 

Laurane

Canadian Loonie
When we were looking for an acreage with our children, He said "no, I have a better solution, try this".....

And 2 days later we bought the perfect house for ourselves.

Don't be trapped by thinking you only have a binary solution - there are lots of alternatives and options attached to a "yes" answer, but you may have to make adjustments you hadn't thought of. Think of it as an adventure.
 

Terrwyn

Veteran Member
I agree with the commuting. He goes, you stay for the time being. You can't really trust companies. Don't disrupt your lives until you are sure. That way you will have time to find someplace to live.
 

adgal

Veteran Member
Prayers sent. I have found that when I have to make a decision like this - the Lord wants me to make the decision and then He will let me know what He feels about it. So, I sit down with two columns, listing all of the pros and cons of the decision. I study it - then make a decision. Then I go to the Lord - and at that point, He will either give me that wonderful feeling of "Yes, you should do this." or that confused feeling or a bad feeling. But, at least in my case, He wants me to do the work first.
 

goosebeans

Veteran Member
Don't know what alphabet soup I am but I know, when Dh was constantly being deployed, I was the only wife at the airport, grinning and waving. I remember, once as he gave me that last hug goodbye, him saying ":I know you can't wait to get home and pull all your craft stuff out!" :) Actually I usually had a large project planned for those occasions. Me and little J. would head straight to the Home Depot to buy supplies for a new chicken coop or goat shed. J. learned to measure and help construct things, If we didn't need a chicken coop. I'd build one for someone else. Just my way of managing the long separations. His last deployment was over 16 months! Thanks to Mucktadar Alsadr or however the jerk's name is spelt.
 

Griz3752

Retired, practising Curmudgeon
We are requesting prayer that God will guide us and make it very clear to us today which path to follow.
Thank you!
Prayer & Divine Intervention are good things but sometimes a little use of a weighted .xls can help you eliminate some issues.
Pick the questions you're concerned with most and can be answered Y/N then sum the columns.
If that doesn't help, you'll have to start getting into quality of life, maybe retirement issues etc on a 1-5 basis. Then repeat the scoring thing.
I've always found it helpful to write things down & use .xls particularly if there's a lot of noise from other parties. but you have to be realistic with your questions and ratings of importance. After that, its math; usually works or at least helps a bit w/ direction of change.

Still likely to be a tough call but if the current job situation is a real bear, that's starting to push for change. Less stress & crap/uncertainty in the workplace usually makes for a better home life & for me, if its better for spouse &/or kids, I'll adjust & deal w/ the rest.

Family 1st, for me.

G.
 

AlfaMan

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Extended Stay America. They have these all over the country:


I'll be honest: a Motel 6 is much cheaper, but I'm a single woman who had a ton of stuff in her car, including a lawn mower, so a hot sheet place wasn't really an option. I had a nice kitchenette with a microwave, fridge (much bigger than dorm-sized), full-sized kitchen table, and a full-sized desk. This set up was well worth it, because I was also continuing to work online at the time. The Extended Stay has Wifi.

(Oh, and I had work and the house lined up. I just couldn't get into the house until about 2 weeks after mine closed. Long story for a different day!)
I've travelled for work and stayed in these places. On long term the rates are attractive, most have full breakfasts free and the rooms are generally suites. Seperate bedroom/living room with a fully equipped kitchen (pots and pans, silverware, plates) with a stove and full size fridge and microwave. That way you don't have to quickly uproot the family and have them live in limbo while you're pulling your hair out between work and finding new housing.
Motel 6 is an option (or any other lower cost hotel) but some counties put homeless folks up in them. Some of the guests could be a bit sketchy.

Good luck and prayers in whatever you decide.
 

homepark

Resist
I would also compare the cost of living in the new vs the old. Sometimes the move is not worth it in real $$$. HOWEVER, if his current job is a bummer, that stress is not worth it, IMHO.
 

packyderms_wife

Neither here nor there.
Maybe INFJ ?

This is what I was wondering

INFJ personality type

Of the 16 possible outcomes, the INFJ personality type — which stands for introversion, intuition, feeling, and judging — is the rarest, accounting for only 1.5% of the population, according to data from the Myers & Briggs Foundation.
 

Hacker

Computer Hacking Pirate
A slightly different suggestion. I traveled for many years between Seattle and my home (about 300 miles). I used to rent a room in a bachelor pad, pay a month at a time, but drive home on weekends. I've also done this for work up to 1K or 2K miles, just didn't come home every weekend.
 

bartp40

Veteran Member
God helps those that help themselves.
Life is about growing.
Seize the day and follow what Dennis said!
 

TerryK

TB Fanatic
Might also want to consider that this Saturday was when the moratorium on evictions ended.
Don't know how soon it will take before people start being out on the street looking for short term housing or rent a flophouses. It depends on each state's laws.
A lot of those pay by the week cheap motels will probably start filling up fast.
It might also open up a lot of regular rentals too.

Saying a prayer too, that everything works out for you and your husband.
 

Grounded Idealist

Hope Always
There are lots of good suggestions above. Nonetheless, the ball is in your court. Don't be anxious...continue trusting and praying.
This!

What I “hear”‘is that you’re letting fear get the best of you. This is a big move no doubt, however, God has answered your prayers. He never said it would be easy! He does have your six though — and He will provide.

Praying for courage, strength and decrement.
 

Sammy55

Veteran Member
Will pray for you and your dh! You've got some good comments here about arranging some temporary living situations while you both see how he likes the job and you both like the area.

Years ago, my dh had a 6 month job in a location about 2 1/2 hour drive away. As we had children at home and it was a temp job, we worked out arrangements for him to spend weeks there and come home on weekends. We went to the city where he would be working and found him a monthly, long term rental cabin. He would come home Friday after work and leave either Sunday evening or Monday morning really early. A few times, the kids and I headed to him and explored the area he lived in. It was a long haul, but we all made it through. The first few weeks, I missed him so bad. We would talk on the phone every night, but I lived for the weekends when he was home. Then the kids and I got used to it, and we (mostly me) would see what kinds of projects we (mostly me) could get done during the week to surprise him. We were building a house at that time - mostly finishing work - and I was varnishing walls, painting rooms, etc. It became fun to watch his face while he figured out what was that week's surprise. Between my part time jobs, taking care of the kids, working on my projects and house projects, the 6 months went by pretty quickly. But I was sure glad when the job was done and he was home to stay!
 
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