ParanoidNot
Veteran Member
The following faux news article was posted it ZeroHedge.com earlier today under the comments section.
Breaking News: Feds add fruit bats to school lunches to teach diversity.
Today the Director of the Federal School Lunch Program told a press conference "I am pleased to announce we have expanded the school lunch program so that kids will learn about diversity as well as nutrition. Based on the success of Michelle Obama's nutrition initiative, we now have a similar initiative to bring diversity to every federally-funded school lunchroom. We kick off this Diversity Lunch learning experience with Fruit Bat Friday. Lunch will feature free-range Liberian fruit bat with your choice of roasted, deep-fried, or for our budding gourmets, pan sauteed with scallions and arugula. Mmmm-mmmm, I'm getting hungry already!
To tell you more, here is the First Lady of Nutrition and Diversity, Michelle!
Michelle: We need Diversity Lunch to combat the irrational fears and hysteria about Ebola and West Africans. We must teach kids about the contributions West Africans have made and continue to make to America. We must teach kids to celebrate the rich cultural and culinary traditions of Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Ghana,
Reporter: But is it safe for kids to eat fruit bats?
Michelle: Stop with these fear-mongering questions!! Don't you know that not every fruit bat has Ebola. That's a scientific fact! In any case, cooking a bat at high temperature kills any Ebola. That's a scientific fact, I'm pretty sure. And we a supplying a cooking thermometer to every school lunchroom. A thermometer is a scientific instrument. So, our Fruit Bay Friday is a science-based policy.
Reporter: But how do school lunch chefs even know how to prepare and cook bats?
Michelle: We are bringing hundreds of West African chefs to America to teach our school lunchrooms chefs.
Reporter: What does the USDA say about importing bat meat.
Michelle: The Secretary of Agriculture assures that we have a double safety net for importing fresh or frozen bat meat. The first line of defense are West African meats inspectors in the country of origin. The second line of defense are USDA meat inspectors who will sample and test up to 5% of imported bats. The random sampling and testing protocols are based on statistical principles. As you know, statistics is science. Americans can eat fruit bats with confidence knowing that USDA inspection is science-based.
Reporter:: How does bat meat taste?
Michelle: Like chicken.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-11-03/here’s-why-ebola-no-longer-news
Breaking News: Feds add fruit bats to school lunches to teach diversity.
Today the Director of the Federal School Lunch Program told a press conference "I am pleased to announce we have expanded the school lunch program so that kids will learn about diversity as well as nutrition. Based on the success of Michelle Obama's nutrition initiative, we now have a similar initiative to bring diversity to every federally-funded school lunchroom. We kick off this Diversity Lunch learning experience with Fruit Bat Friday. Lunch will feature free-range Liberian fruit bat with your choice of roasted, deep-fried, or for our budding gourmets, pan sauteed with scallions and arugula. Mmmm-mmmm, I'm getting hungry already!
To tell you more, here is the First Lady of Nutrition and Diversity, Michelle!
Michelle: We need Diversity Lunch to combat the irrational fears and hysteria about Ebola and West Africans. We must teach kids about the contributions West Africans have made and continue to make to America. We must teach kids to celebrate the rich cultural and culinary traditions of Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Ghana,
Reporter: But is it safe for kids to eat fruit bats?
Michelle: Stop with these fear-mongering questions!! Don't you know that not every fruit bat has Ebola. That's a scientific fact! In any case, cooking a bat at high temperature kills any Ebola. That's a scientific fact, I'm pretty sure. And we a supplying a cooking thermometer to every school lunchroom. A thermometer is a scientific instrument. So, our Fruit Bay Friday is a science-based policy.
Reporter: But how do school lunch chefs even know how to prepare and cook bats?
Michelle: We are bringing hundreds of West African chefs to America to teach our school lunchrooms chefs.
Reporter: What does the USDA say about importing bat meat.
Michelle: The Secretary of Agriculture assures that we have a double safety net for importing fresh or frozen bat meat. The first line of defense are West African meats inspectors in the country of origin. The second line of defense are USDA meat inspectors who will sample and test up to 5% of imported bats. The random sampling and testing protocols are based on statistical principles. As you know, statistics is science. Americans can eat fruit bats with confidence knowing that USDA inspection is science-based.
Reporter:: How does bat meat taste?
Michelle: Like chicken.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-11-03/here’s-why-ebola-no-longer-news