Story (Demon Hunters) - The Witches Cavern

[gonewacky]

The Witches Cavern



Winter zipped by in Dention and summer was on its way out. The town was growing fast. Twenty houses had been built last year, and almost as many businesses had started up. There was a Laundry in town run by a Chinese couple now, and a Lumber Mill just outside of town. One of the new settlers was Dortha and Alexander.

Alexander got a job at the Mill, and they found a cheap house in town.

Henry and Origin were married, and Origin could talk with broken English.

Jim watched as they rode off with tin-cans tied to the back of the wagon. Looking at Albert Jim shared, “I’ve never been able to figure out why it’s customary to tie strings of empty tin-cans to the back of a wagon of Newly Weds. What did the empty cans signify? I can’t go along with a cynic who suggested that the cans symbolize the extent of home-cooked meals. That the poor groom is going to get for the remainder of his lifetime. I know for a fact that’s not true of Origin and Henry. Origin was every bit as good of a cook as Victoria Tomson at the Boardinghouse.”

Another good cook lived across town. Dortha happened to be a good enough cook to be able to win prizes, and on the day this story started she’d left a roast in the oven. Then she went out and explored the small grounds of their Little Dream House.

Dortha looked next door and an old woman insisted, “Hello there come on over and get acquainted.”

Dortha replied, “Hello I’m Dortha I’m your new neighbor.”

The old woman revealed, “I’m Clarice it’s good to see young people next door again. I hope you and your husband will be very happy.”

Dortha responded, “Thank you. Have you lived here long?”

Clarice explained, “Well I was here before your house was built. Of course my husband was alive then.”

Dortha inquired, “And now you’re alone?”

Clarice replied, “Yes and happy to see you. You’re welcome to drop in anytime child I’d be glad to have the company.”

Dortha admitted, “That’s very neighborly, and I’ll return the invitation. Oh, but I have to run now. I have to take a look at my roast. I expect my husband in less than an hour.”

An hour later Alexander was walking up out front of his house. Catherine called out, “Hi there neighbor.”

Alexander replied, “Oh hi I’m Alexander.”

Catherine inquired, “Well I’m Catherine Alexander. Can I offer you a cocktail before dinner?”

Alexander informed, “That sounds delightful, but my wife’s expecting me. She most likely heard me talking to you.”

Catherine insisted, “Say no more. Just remember you have a rain check anytime.”

Alexander reassured, “I’ll remember, thanks.”

Catherine added, “It’s nice to have neighbors again. I’ll be seeing you.”



Dortha Announced, “Welcome my Lord and Master to your home and castle.”

Alexander insisted, “Hey there dear don’t let them women’s liber’s hear that greeting.”

Dortha replied, “You know I didn’t mean it.”

Alexander teased, “You didn’t?”

Dortha insisted, “Just the welcome part.”

Alexander exclaimed, “Hey something smells delicious, and yours was the second welcome I got since I came home.”

Dortha replied, “Oh”

Alexander informed, “You can say that again the gal that lives next door was in her front yard, and asked me in for a drink.”

Dortha assured, “That’s why we’re married darling. I love you and your sense of humor. That’s so funny.”

Alexander insisted, “She really did ask me”

Dortha explained, “I’m sure she did darling she’s a lonely old lady. Oh I’m sorry to spoil your little game. I saw her earlier this afternoon, and you can’t hope to make me jealous of a woman in her 80s.”

Alexander asserted, “Well I don’t know what woman you saw Dortha, but the lady who spoke to me wasn’t anywhere near 30 let alone 80. I know what I saw and who I saw.”

Dortha demanded, “Well I’m sure you saw what you told me honey, but at least give me the same break you asked for yourself. I know what I saw too, but it’s crazy.”

Alexander insisted, “Well there’s probably some simple explanation.”

Dortha replied, “I’ll bet there is, and I’m the one who’s going to get it from Mrs. William the first thing tomorrow morning.



The next day Dortha stood at the door as it opened.

Clarice greeted, “How nice of you to come visiting so soon and so early. Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Dortha replied, “Coffee would be nice.”

Clarice suggested, “Well let’s go into the kitchen I always find it Cozier. Do you take cream and sugar?”

Dortha requested, “Just black thank you.”

Clarice inquired, “Tell me are you getting used to our little town? Do you find the shopping here exciting?”

Dortha answered, “As a matter of fact yes. I like Emily at the store, and Mable at the dress shop.”

Clarice replied, “I don’t get out so much anymore. There used to be a farmer’s market on Saturday. It had the loveliest freshest vegetables. It used to be where the Hotel is now.”

Dortha informed, “The reason I came over was I was wondering if you met my husband?”

Clarice mumbled, “Oh how interesting.”

Dortha questioned, “Did you meet my husband yesterday?”

Clarice asked, “Did he say he did?”

Dortha proclaimed, “Well he said he met a beautiful 30-year-old woman here.”

Clarice smiled, “In my house?”

Dortha requested, “Who’s the woman my husband saw last night?

Clarice giggled, “My dear child, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

Dortha got up and said, “Goodbye Clarice. I’m sorry I bothered you.

Clarice insisted, “Please don’t go. I’ll try to help you.”

Dortha demanded, “Why should it be so difficult? There’s something here I don’t understand, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”

Clarice demanded, “It might be best if you move. That really might be best.”

Dortha remarked, “That’s ridiculous. Do you know what you’re saying?”

Clarice replied, “Yes.”

Dortha argued, “Alexander and I looked for a house for almost 6 months. We could never find a house like this at the price we paid.”

Clarice revealed, “I know, perhaps you’ll do well to find out why this house went so cheaply.”



That evening Alexander knocked on the neighbor’s door.

Catherine answered, “Hi Neighbor I’m glad you decided to pick up your rain check on that drink so quickly.”

Alexander replied, “No drink thanks.”

Catherine pulled the door open, “Come in anyway. It’s only neighborly.”

Alexander explained, “I left the Mill early today just to straighten something out. This shouldn’t really take more than a minute.”

 

[gonewacky]

Catherine asked, “Are you afraid of me? Sit down.”

Alexander replied, “Thank you. This may sound silly, but last night my wife and I got into a ridiculous argument.

Catherine remarked, “Oh not over me.”

Alexander went on, “Yes you see Dortha says you’re an old lady.”

Catherine replied, “Well how could she since we’ve never met.”

Alexander added, “Well that’s what I told her, but she insists she was here before me yesterday. She said she spoke with an old lady who said she lived here.”

Catherine smiled, “Oh now I understand. What a silly mistake. The old lady your wife met is my mother Clarice.

Alexander questioned, “Your mother lives with you.”

Catherine laughed an eerie laugh, “Yes, but not all the time. She’s here a good deal of the time. My husband’s wonderful about it.”

Alexander insisted, “Dortha told me she was very definite about saying she lived here alone.”

Catherine maintained, “Well now you know that isn’t so don’t you?”

Alexander Agreed, “I know but how do I convince Dortha?”

Catherine went on, “Well being a woman I think Dortha will understand when you tell her my mother’s vain, as ridiculous as it sounds for a woman her age. She just hates to admit that she has a daughter my age.”

Alexander claimed, “I find that hard to believe.”

Catherine asked, “Are either of your parents living Alexander?

Alexander informed, “My dad, but he’s back in Ohio.”

Catherine explained, “Well you’ll find that the older a person gets the more childish their behavior can become.”

Alexander pondered, “I’m glad you said can, because I don’t think my dad is.”

Catherine smiled, “Well let’s hope not, but you can understand why my mother lied to your wife.”

Alexander admitted, “No not completely, but at least I’ll be able to calm Dortha down.”



Alexander headed home to explain what Catherine said.

Dortha claimed, “No, no it’s the most ridiculous story I’ve ever heard.”

Alexander insisted, “But darling.”

Dortha argued, “I know what you’ve been telling me for the past half hour, and I tell you it’s nonsense. Did you ask to see her mother?”

Alexander admitted, “It never occurred to me.”

Dortha insisted, “Why not?”

Alexander stuttered, “Well I.”

Dortha cut in, “You didn’t take my word seriously enough to question this beautiful Dame you say she lives next door. That’s why not.”

Alexander declared, “Oh no Dortha I mean I don’t know why you’re making this personal. I believe you, I believe you met and spoke with an 80-year-old woman. That said she lived in the house next door.”

Dortha insisted, “Alone.”

Alexander urged, “Now why won’t you believe that this woman is the mother of the young woman who spoke with me?”

Dortha barked, “Because Clarice said she didn’t have a daughter.”

Alexander argued, “But I’ve already explained that.”

Dortha insisted, “And I don’t buy it.”

Alexander demanded, “For the hundredth time why not?”

Dortha exclaimed, “Because when I spoke to Clarice today and told her your story about meeting the young lady. What do you think she said to me?”

Alexander disclosed, “I can’t imagine.”

Dortha revealed, “She told me to move out of this house.”

Alexander offered, “Well that proves it the old girl is slightly batty.”

Dortha demanded, “I know how to settle this. We’re going over there. The two of us are going to straighten this out once and for all.”



At the porch next door.

Dortha nagged, “Well it’s possible that they’re afraid to answer the door.”

Alexander replied, “That’s not possible, but it is possible that no one’s home.”

Dortha argued, “You said you were just talking to her.”

Alexander insisted, “I think we’ve been arguing at least 15 minutes. She could have gone out during that time.”

Dortha complained, “I can’t understand why you’re, so dead set against admitting that for some reason she doesn’t want to meet me.”

Alexander proclaimed, “I can’t understand why we’re standing outside an obviously empty house banging on the door. When we could go back to our place”

Dortha confessed, “I’m sorry Alexander.”

Alexander insisted, “It’s okay.”

Dortha revealed, “I don’t know what’s happening to us, or I guess I should say what’s happening to me. I’m behaving like all the wives I’ve hated all my life”

Alexander insisted, “Oh forget it love.”

Dortha inquired, “Alexander why was this house such a goodbye?”

Alexander choked, “What?”

Dortha insisted, “Clarice told me to ask you why we got this house so cheap.”

Alexander replied, “Oh I thought we were going to stay off this subject.”

Dortha pleaded, “I just want a simple answer to a simple question.”

Alexander replied, “Is that really all you’re asking?”

Dortha grumbled, “Yes, why won’t you answer me?”

Alexander insisted, “Well I have my reasons.”

Dortha complained, “I’m sure you have and I guess it’s because of the attractiveness of that 30-year-old woman you say lives next door.”

Alexander laughed, “Why you’re jealous that’s what this whole thing is about. You’re jealous.”

Dortha replied, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Alexander warned, “For Pete’s sake Dortha. The reason I don’t want to tell you is well it’s because I’m afraid you’ll get upset.”

Dortha assured. “I’ll be more upset if you don’t tell me.”

Alexander gave in, “Okay superstitious people around here think there’s some kind of jinx on this house.”

Dortha exclaimed, “Jinx?”

Alexander acknowledged, “It’s silly but there you are.”

Dortha demanded, “Why do they think there’s a jinx?”

Alexander explained, “Something about the last two couples who lived here. Both husbands are dead. They died under peculiar circumstances. I don’t know the facts. But don’t worry about it. It’s all a lot of nonsense.”

Dortha questioned, “How did they die Alexander?”

Alexander replied, “I don’t know. Nobody knows they just disappeared.”



Alexander laid in bed thinking, Disappearing husbands have always been a problem to the wives they leave behind, and houses with a reputation for bringing tragedy to families. The ones that lived in them have always been a problem to those who want to dispose of them. Behind both problems there’s always a reason and that’s what Dortha intends to discover. She always preferred to do her own problem solving.

The next day Alexander faced his problem by coming home early. He snuck around the corner and walked across the lawn of the house next door to his. To his surprise there neighbor was waiting for him.

 

[gonewacky]

Catherine smiled. “You look like a man with a problem.”

Alexander replied, “How right you are.”

Catherine inquired, “Can I help you?”

Alexander insisted, “You bet you can, because you’re the problem.”

Catherine smiled, “Oh don’t tell me it’s your wife and my mother again.”

Alexander insisted, “That’s exactly what it is, and I’d be grateful if you just walk across to my house with me right now. Then let me introduce you to Dortha.”

Catherine agreed, “Of course.”

Alexander was surprised, “You will?”

Catherine giggled, “Well you sound surprised.”

Alexander explained, “Forgive me, but this thing has Dortha so uptight. I guess some of her nonsense is rubbed off on me.”

Catherine responded, “Well what seems to be bothering her? Is she jealous?”

Alexander informed, “It’s hard to tell she finds the situation strange.”

Catherine cried out, “Oh!”

Alexander questioned, “What happened?”

Catherine whimpered, “Oh it’s my ankle. I turned it in this hole. I told Harry we’ve got to do something about the moles they tunnel everywhere.”

Alexander questioned, “Can you walk?”

Catherine whined, “I’ll try, would you let me lean on you? oh oh oh no no no this is no good.”

Alexander offered, “Let me carry you.”

Catherine divulged, “Well I’m certainly not going to meet your wife with you carrying me.”

Alexander agreed, “I’ll take you back to your place. Just put your hand around my neck.”

Alexander carried Catherine to her house. Inside he asked, “You want the couch or the chair.”

Catherine replied, “Well I think the couch if you don’t mind. I can put my foot up there.”

Alexander asked, “Is there anything I can get you?”

Catherine uttered, “Oh no thanks. I’m truly sorry.

Alexander disclosed, “Well accidents happen.”

Catherine asked, “Are you angry?”

Alexander insisted, “Of course not it was an accident.”

Catherine smiled, “You should be.”

Alexander questioned, “Why?”

Catherine replied, “Well isn’t it obvious. You and your pretty wife are quarreling, and I’m the cause of it.”

Alexander disclosed, “Your ankle is already starting to swell.”

Catherine smiled, “It’ll pass Alexander. Do you find me fascinating?”

Alexander confessed, “Interesting.”

Catherine inquired, “But not irresistible?”

Alexander was surprised, “Oh come on Catherine. What are you trying to do?”

Catherine got a little spark in her eye as she inquired, “Find out if I’m attractive to you?”

Alexander divulged, “You know you are.”

Catherine smiled, “Good that makes me happy just knowing that I’m still attractive.”

Alexander remarked, “Hey you talk like an old lady.”

Catherine teased, “Oh women are funny like that.”

Alexander disclosed, “I wish I could tell when you’re being honest.”

Catherine laughed, “You will when you get to know me better.”

Alexander insisted, “Well that’s not going to be until Dortha meets you.”

Catherine assured, “I promise you that we’ll meet.”

Alexander questioned, “When?”

Catherine pondered, “I don’t know but…”

Alexander suggested, “Hey how about you and Harry getting together with us for an evening. Maybe we can do dinner.”

Catherine replied, “Well I’d love it, but well Harry’s really pretty much of a stick in the mud.”

Alexander insisted, “Oh I’m sure you can talk him into going out with us.”

Catherine mumbled, “Well I’ll try.”

Alexander suggested, “How about this Saturday?”

Catherine insisted, “But you must prove to your pretty wife that there really is a Catherine.”

Alexander agreed, “That’s one reason.”

Catherine insisted, “I’ll try to get Harry to go along.”

Alexander pondered, “Where shall we meet?”

Catherine recommended, “Well if you don’t hear from me. Let’s make it the Horseshoe the food is good, and it’s romantic.”



Saturday came and Alexander and Dortha were headed to the Horseshoe. Holding hands as they walked they saw Albert and Jim heading home. Passing them on the boardwalk Alexander tipped his hat and said, “Sheriff, Deputy.”

They stopped and Albert asked, “You out for an evening walk?”

Dortha replied, “Alexander is taking me to the Horseshoe for dinner.”

Jim replied, “Orla’s cooking. I’d have the Irish Stew with Soda Bread it’s great.”

Dortha smiled, “Thanks Jim. Say hi to Suzan for me.”



Albert and Jim continued on their way home as Jim commented, “They settled in fast.”

Albert replied, “Alexander getting a job at the Mill right away helped a lot I’m sure.”



Dortha and Alexander continued to the restaurant. Ordered two drinks and waited, and waited, and waited. Dortha complained, “Your Catherine and Harry are almost 1 hour late.”

Alexander answered, “I guess so, but relax this is a lovely restaurant. We can have another drink.”

Dortha snarled, “No thank you.”

Alexander reassured, “I’m sure they’ll be here any minute.”

Dortha smirked, “I’m sure they won’t be darling”

Alexander reminded, “I spoke with Catherine this morning. It’s just inconceivable they won’t show after all we’re neighbors.”

Dortha insisted, “There’s no reason for her husband to say yes. I’ll see you at home Alexander.”

Alexander begged, “Now wait a minute.”

Dortha snapped, “I’ve waited too long as it is. Both of us know they’re not coming. I’ve had it. If you want to talk to me you can talk to me at home, and if you’re not home in an hour. Don’t bother to come at all!”



Dortha went to Catherine’s house and pounded on the door. Clarice opened the door asking, “Child what brings you here at this time of night?”

Dortha explained, “Your son-in-law Harry. I thought maybe he was sick? Is he?”

Clarice replied, “No not that I know of.”

 

[gonewacky]

Dortha sighed, “At least we’re getting somewhere. You admit that you have a daughter and a son-in-law.”

Clarice insisted, “Come in child.”

Dortha demanded, “All right now perhaps you’ll tell me why your daughter Catherine doesn’t want to meet me.”

Clarice snaped back, “Did you find out why your house was such a bargain?”

Dortha insisted, “Yes.”

Clarice questioned, “And you’re still not thinking of moving?”

Dortha demanded, “I want to see your daughter.”

Clarice moaned, “There’s no way you can unless you’re willing to take my advice.”

Dortha exclaimed, “Are you trying to frighten me?”

Clarice insisted, “I am trying to help you. Believe me my child I’m trying to help you.”

Then there was a flash and a boom. Dortha questioned, “Was that Thunder?

Clarice divulged, “I’m afraid we’re in for a storm. You’ best be getting back to your house.”

Dortha complained, “But you still haven’t told…”

Clarice barked, “I’ve done more than I should. Take my advice and take your handsome young husband and move out of that house. I see the Delivery Wagon there when your husband is at work.”



Dortha went home to find Alexander waiting for her. Jealousy is one characteristic that is just as prevalent among males as females. Jealous feelings often conceal themselves behind other facades, and Alexander is convinced that his wife Dortha is overreacting to their somewhat eccentric neighbors. He thinks she’s jealous of the lady next door. Dortha is willing to admit there may be some truth in that, but she’s also convinced there’s a lot more to it than jealousy.

Even though she now knows of her love affair. Dortha can’t put a name to it, but there’s something so very wrong. She knows it and feels it in her bones. It just doesn’t justify our giving up this house and paying a lot more for something nowhere near as nice.



Jack’s knowledge of mankind was acquired during years of faithful service behind his bar. In a place like this you get all kinds, and you hear everything the rich man has and the religious man. Jack spent his whole life thinking he was just a bartender, but then this Mill Worker comes in one night.

There’s a smart word that begins with a “P”, and he calls me publican. Jack has heard it before. That’s the traditional English word for Saloon keeper. Jack thinks it sounds kind of dignified. Well anyway like I started to tell you. Jack gets all kinds. It’s a pretty good evening all the regulars are here and it’s just about midnight this guy comes in the door. His clothes not too expensive, but look good if you know what I mean.

The only thing is he’s got a very scared look on his face, so Jack asked him, “What’ll you have?”

Alexander answered, “What do you got?”

Jack replied, “I got everything pal name it.”

Alexander insisted, “Well I want a drink.”

Jack asked, “What kind of drink.”

Alexander demanded, “Please, I didn’t come in here for an inquisition. I want a drink. Just pour me one if you don’t mind.”

So Jack reached for the nearest bottle and poured him a glass.

Alexander made a very sour face as he drank it down. You could tell he didn’t like it, and for a guy who didn’t like it. He kept putting it away, so Jack said, “Don’t you think you had enough?”

Alexander replied, “No!”

Jack insisted, “Well you still seemed perfectly sober.”

Jack thought, He appeared to be more scared than ever now. In my business you make it a rule never start up with a customer, but this guy was so frightened that I felt I just had to. I was going to break that rule just this once, and I did.

Jack asked, “You okay?”

Alexander replied, “Yeah I’m fine.”

Jack explained, “The reason I’m asking. You don’t look too good.”

Alexander barked, “You know something. You should mind your own business.

Jack replied, “You know something. I think you’re right.”

Jack remembered that night, Well I forgot all about him until about a quarter to one. That’s when I give everybody in a place to a warning.

Jack called out, “All right last call.

Alexander questioned, “Last call for what?”

Jack laughed, “I don’t need a comedian at this hour tonight. What do you think the last call is for?

Alexander explained, “Well I’m not sure you see. I don’t frequent places like this as a rule.”

Jack inquired, “Well what are you doing tonight slumming.”

Alexander begged, “No please I didn’t mean it to sound that way.”

Jack joked, “You decide you want to rub shoulders with the peasants.”

Alexander insisted, No.”

Jack went on, “Well the way you’ve been pouring down that juice. We usually go for it.”

Alexander insisted, “Well you see I’m not really a drinker.”

Jack laughed, “Is that a fact?”

Alexander explained, “The reason I came in here was because I’m so upset, and I’m so frightened. You see and it’s so light in here and it seems so safe.”

 

[gonewacky]

Jack insisted, “Like I said last call if you want to have another drink. One more is all you can buy.”

Alexander asked, “Well what do you mean?”

Jack gasped, “I mean at one o’clock I close the joint and go upstairs. Then I go to bed.”

Alexander wailed, “Close? Oh no you can’t close. You can’t you can’t do that. You have to stay open.”

Jack complained, “As it is I Stay open 16 hours a day. That’s enough.”

Alexander pleaded, “Just tonight please stay open a little longer.”

Jack argued, “Now look I got to get up and do this all over tomorrow.”

Alexander insisted, “But I don’t want to leave here. I’m afraid to be out in the street.”

Jack replied, “I’ll get the Sheriff to take you in.”

Alexander insisted, “That won’t help they’ll still find me. They’ll find me.”

Jack questioned, “Who’s going to find you?”

Alexander mumbled, “They will.”

Jack asked, “Well that’s what we’re trying to establish. Who are they?”

Alexander revealed, “The witches, oh the witches.”

Jack laughed, “I See The Witches. You’re the kind of guy who gets his load on. Then he sees witches.”

Alexander insisted, “No I saw them. I saw them even before I had my first drink. Actually I’ve been drinking to see if I could get rid of them.”

Jack chuckled, “Oh that’s a switch.”

Alexander whined, “Oh please don’t humor me.”

Jack joked, “I wouldn’t think of it.”

Alexander snarled, “You don’t believe me.”

Jack smiled, “Sure I believe you.”

Alexander uttered, “Don’t tell me the customer is always right either. You’ve got to listen to what happened to me tonight.”

Jack insisted, “That’s if you can tell it before one o’clock. You got 10 minutes.”

Alexander agreed, “All right look every word I’ll tell you is true. My name is Alexander I’m a Mill Worker. I design log handling and cutting equipment.”

Jack whined, “Oh yeah so tell me something. Why is that guy’s always come in here telling me how the equipment keeps messing up?”

Alexander insisted, “It don’t, they don’t know what they’re doing. It’s the people who use it that are messing up.”

Jack asked, “Yeah so how come I keep getting them coming in saying it the equipment.”

Alexander explained, “The reason I told you I was an engineer was to impress you.”

Jack revealed, “I’m not impressed with it. I’m warning you better not take more than nine minutes.”

Alexander went on, “Okay, you see I had left my job at the usual hour. I was walking home. We own a house behind the Store, and we were able to buy it very cheap.”

Jack asked, “Is the house important to this story. I’m saying this for your own good, because all you got left is eight and a half minutes.”

Alexander muttered, “Is it important to the story I don’t know.”

Jack insisted, “I’ve listened to thousands of these stories. Stick to the point, okay.”

Alexander started, “I left the job. I was walking home.”

Jack butted in, “We already established that. Please you only got eight minutes.”

Alexander explained, “I stopped to wait for a Wagon at the intersection, and suddenly I Heard a voice say, “Hi baby. You want to have a little fun?”

Jack laughed, “Oh I see where this is going.”

Alexander scolded, “No, you know you don’t believe me you don’t.”

Jack started, “Well I…”

Alexander kept going, “I looked and there next to me was this hot red head and the gal from next door. Two of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen in my whole life. That never happens to me. One was the blonde Catherine from next door, and one was a red head I later found out to be Maria. Each had creamy white skin and sparkling red lips and the blonde had sea green eyes. The red head’s eyes were a flashing black. You know the kind. They were built like the goddesses of ancient Greece, but much more slender.”

Jack stared, “All right now get to the action you got seven minutes, okay.”

Alexander asserted, “It was the blonde who had asked if I wanted to have some fun.”

Jack insisted, “What did you say?”

Alexander replied, “No!”

Jack agreed, “You’ve done the right thing. You could have gone along with them. There would have been a guy waiting with a gun, and he lifts your bankroll. It’s a Murphy game. You’ve done the right thing you always got to think of that.”

Alexander revealed, “No I was thinking of the fact that I had taken a solemn vow to be faithful to my wife. I used to get a gold star for that. Yeah but then the red head said come on tiger we’re going to a party. ”

Jack reminded, “You got six minutes.”

Alexander went on, “No, believe me you must believe me. There was a confusion of signals between my brain and my mouth.”

Jack whined, “Yeah yeah.”

Alexander insisted, “The answer that my brain fed to my mouth was no thanks, but the answer that came out was sure. She said “Hey honey what are we waiting for? And before I knew it I was in their buggy and she said “Well you are a Sly one honey.” Now where those words came from I’ll never know. Why I said them I’ll never know. I didn’t want to get into the buggy with those women.”

Jack stared intensely, “No of course.”

Alexander kept going, “Anyway the red head turns to the blonde and ask will he do? Then the blonde winked at me and said how about it baby.”

Jack demanded, “And you said?”

Alexander went on, “I said. I mean I wanted to say. Please let me out of here I’m a most happily married man. I wanted to say that, but the words that came out said. Let’s go girls.”

Jack asked, “Why didn’t you just jump.”

Alexander insisted, “Because I couldn’t.”

Jack declared, “I want to be you pal. I couldn’t either so look you got four minutes and you ain’t even got to a good part yet.”

Alexander started again, “Well we were going down Main Street and the blonde placed her arms around me and she kissed me.”

Jack blurted, “Now we’re getting there.”

Alexander gulped, “And I think I must have passed out.”

Jack marveled, “That must have been some kiss.”

Alexander insisted, “Oh yeah it was that there kiss. It had fire in it, and Iceland, and champagne bubbles, and I just don’t know how to describe it.”

Jack insisted, “Oh you don’t have to describe it.”

Alexander continued, “And then everything sort of disappeared you see, or I might have passed out.”

Jack inquired, “It was like that huh?”

Alexander recalled, “I don’t know how long it lasted, but when I woke. I was in a kind of a room, and there was a kind of music. There was a fire burning in the middle of the room, and I thought that was kind of strange because there was no fireplace. Then I shouted fire.

The red head said Don’t get excited baby. Nothing to be scared of yet tiger. They were there in the room, and this crazy looking room. It had wild kind of pictures on the walls. The blonde and the red head each was wearing a long robe. I looked at myself and I was wearing a long robe too. I asked, “Where am I? What’s the meaning of this?”

 

[gonewacky]

Catherine whispered in my ear, “Well we asked you to come to a party baby.”

I said, “Oh a party, but my clothes what happened to my clothes?”

Maria whispered in my other ear, “Oh it’s a formal party. Now you’re dressed right for it.”

I had Catherine the blonde hanging on my right arm and Maria the hot read head on my left. Then I ask, “What party are you talking about?”

Maria said, “The kind of party you’ve been dreaming about all your life. Wild, crazy, the most beautiful women in the world, and here we are with a fountain of champagne.”

Catherine added, “Look baby there it is horror of the fire.”

I asked, “What did you throw to the fire? How did the fire turn into a fountain of champagne?”

Catherine asked, “Well would you rather it was a fire?”

I said, “Well I…”

Catherine cut me off, “All your life you wanted to swim in a champagne Fountain.”

I asked, “Who are you talking about?”

Maria said, “You, haven’t you always dreamed about it.”

I replied, “I never told anyone about dreaming of beautiful women, a champagne fountain and music.”

Maria insisted, “Wait, you’re a King Tiger.”

Catherine insisted, “A king, it’s what you always wanted baby.”

I insisted, “Oh no it’s not what I always wanted.”

Maria went on. “Who are you kidding your secret dream is to be King. Hail his majesty the King. Hell King Alexander. Tiger your loyal subjects await your command.”

I begged, “Look, please tell me what this is. How did I get here?”

Catherine insisted, “Oh we invited you to a party this is a party.”

I questioned, “But this fire that turns into a champagne Fountain. This table with the most fantastic food and the people all these people. Who are they?”

Maria insisted, “Well they’re your loyal subjects. You always wanted to be a king, and your secret desires and every wish comes true tonight.”

I worried, “Yes, but my wife is expecting me home. She’ll worry.”

Catherine boomed, “What do you care?”

I asked, “Well you want her to worry?”

Catherine replied, “No that isn’t true.”

Then there was a flash and thunder filled the air.

Maria said, “You made him angry.”

I asked, “He, who’s he?”

Catherine insisted, “Don’t do it again.”

I asked, “Who did I make Angry?”

Maria said, “The prince.”

I thought, The prince who was he?

Catherine announced, “The Prince of Darkness the Prince of Darkness.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Who spoke my name?”

I ask, “Where did he come from?”

The Prince of Darkness, “Who is this?”

Maria said, “This is the tiger king Prince. He’s the guest of honor for the party.”

The Prince of Darkness, “He doesn’t look like much to me.”

Catherine agreed, “That’s true.”

The Prince of Darkness, “A meek little watery blooded worker if you ask me.”

Maria replied, “Oh that’s what he looks like, but he’s a tiger inside a lover, a killer.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Reckless fit to be the guest of honor. Then let the party begin.”

Catherine announced, “Let the party begin.”

I asked, “The lights, what’s happening to the lights? It’s getting dark in here.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Who shall speak the invocation?”

Catherine whispered, “That’s you baby.”

Maria insisted, “Recite the prayer tiger.”

I ask, “What prayer?”

Catherine said, “The Sabbath prayer baby”

Maria announced, “Let the Sabbath begin.”

I said, “Sabbath, I thought this was a party.”

Catherine explained, “Well it is baby. Say the Sabbath prayer.”

I ask, “What kind of Sabbath?”

Catherine insisted, “A Witches Sabbath.”

I blurted, “A Witches Sabbath?”

The Prince of Darkness, “Oh yes these ladies are witches.”

I said, “But witches are…”

The Prince of Darkness, “What it is all grown why I am the prince. These are my handmaidens. Why shouldn’t they be beautiful in the place up where I am.”

I asked, “What’s happening to me?”

Maria said, “This is a religious assembly.”

I insisted, “I want to go home.”

The Prince of Darkness asked, “Why?

Catherine insisted, “Well, answer the prince baby.”

I said, “Answer the Prince of Darkness.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Why do you want to go home? You hate your home.”

I said, “No that’s not true.”

Maria said, “I told you not to do that. You mustn’t lie to the Prince of Darkness. You hate your home.”

Catherine insisted, “You hate your wife.”

I said, “Oh that isn’t…”

Maria insisted, “Don’t say that’s not true you’ll get him mad again. Relax tiger relax and let it happen.

I ask, “What happened.”

Catherine replied, “What you came here for baby. What you’ve been dreaming of.”

The Prince of Darkness said, “Ring the Bell once twice

Catherine whispered in my ear, “Thrice say three baby.”

I Asked, “What for?”

Catherine replied, “It’s the magic number.”

Maria whispered in my ear, “Say three tiger three. Then weave a circle round Thrice three times three times tonight three times you will do it three times.”

I asked, “Do what?”

Catherine disclosed, “He doesn’t know okay. Tell him three times.

Maria said, “Kill, kill, kill.”

I asked, “What do you mean kill?”

Catherine insisted, “You know what we mean. You’ll kill your boss your wife and her lover.”

I exclaimed, “No, no, let me out of here. Do you understand let me out.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Go, what are you waiting for?”

Maria said, “So long tiger.”

 

[gonewacky]

The Prince of Darkness, “Well why don’t you leave?”

I said, “My clothes I don’t even know how I got into this robe. What did you do with my clothes?

The Prince of Darkness, “You are wearing them.”

I exclaimed, “What? How did you do that?”

The Prince of Darkness, “I can do anything I’m the Prince of Darkness and look.”

I begged, “Please I’m just a very quiet ordinary type of person.”

Catherine said, “Don’t talk like that to him baby. You know what happens when you lie.”

The Prince of Darkness, “You make machines and you become one yourself. Your boss steals your ideas, and your best friend steals your wife. They laugh at you.”

Catherine reassured, “Three people laugh at you tiger, your boss, your best friend, and your wife.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Now kneel and Pray with us pray Alexander. Speak that same prayer.”

I demanded, “What same prayer?”

The Prince of Darkness, “What prayer that was in your heart when you were walking home.

I said. “I was afraid.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Well I wasn’t look out there.”

Catherine inquired, “What do you see baby?”

The Prince of Darkness, “That’s the street you were walking home on. Listen to what you’re saying to yourself.”

Maria said, “Listen tiger”

I saw and heard myself, “I’ll kill him I’ll kill that fat smoking thieving slob who does he think he is?”

Maria insisted, “That’s you tiger.”

I kept talking, “I designed the entire thing. I alone worked out every production problem it’s mine, and he stole it from me. He made thousands. I’ll kill him one day. I’ll kill him.”

Maria said. Look that’s you tiger. Now you see us in the buggy, and we hear what you’re saying loud and clear it’s a prayer.

I insisted, “But I couldn’t mean what I was saying. You didn’t know it wasn’t even true? A man says a lot of things he doesn’t mean.”

The Prince of Darkness, “A man means every word he says, but that’s not why we picked you up. The streets are filled with human beings who want to kill once, but you wanted to kill three times.”

I insisted, “No, that’s not true.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Look at yourself walking down the street. Listen to yourself talking to yourself. I’m not stupid I deal in facts you feed facts into a calculation you get answers. What answers were you getting Alexander?”

I asked, “How did you know what I was thinking?”

The Prince of Darkness, “I know everything. Why do you want to kill your wife?”

I said, “I see now.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Yes, what do you see now?”

I answered, “My wife, I see now she must have always been untrustworthy, but why would she with Joe. Why with my best friend?”

Catherine smiled, “Well you know why baby, because he was there and you weren’t. The French they have a saying, “The one who is absent is always in the wrong. Listen to the French they know all about love.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Summon the demons. Summon the Devils, the ghosts ,the specters, the phantasmagoric spirits of murder, and death. Summon the incubus of Revenge, the Evil, Genius of Retribution come all pray this is the witch’s Sabbath. Repeat after me, death and the fires of hell yes to the Unholy three death to all three. Ring the Bell three times, and now Alexander will you shed blood tonight. Do you want to kill them? Your boss, your wife, and her lover, do you want to kill them.”

I said, “It’s wrong.”

Catherine insisted, “That’s not the answer. Do you want to kill them that’s your minds wish. Search your heart your soul do you want to kill them? Answer yes.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Rejoice my children rejoice now he is one of us. You will kill them kill. Yes tonight this is the night of the witch’s Sabbath. The service needs one thing to be complete. Blood my children how wonderful are our prayers tonight. There will not be one victim but three.”

I said, “I can’t kill I don’t know how.”

Catherine offered, “I shall teach you.”

I said, “I don’t have the nerve.”

Maria assured, “I will steady your hand.”

I will harden your heart. You will kill and then you will be free of the hate that poisons your mind.

I said, “But I’ll be a murderer.”

The Prince of Darkness, “You will only murder those who murdered you. Haven’t you been cheated and disgraced by them. Your life is empty and your world is dead.”

Catherine disclosed, “You have to kill baby.

Maria insisted, “Three times tiger.”

The Prince of Darkness, “My son I know the anguish of your soul. I have also been cast out. My rightful place is now held by others. My patrimony has been stolen, here is the revolver, or would you rather use a knife?”

Maria whispered, “The gun is quicker tiger.”

The Prince of Darkness, “Sure the gun is better it’s in your pocket. Close your eyes. When you open them you should be in the room where your boss sits in his palatial home. A comfortable room there he counts his money, your money, you will kill him.”

I tried to speak, “Oh I…”

The Prince of Darkness, “You must. It is a ritual that must be performed on the holiest of all nights. Now when I say open your eyes you will be with your boss. Open your eyes.”

I open my eyes and I was there in the den of my boss’s home. He was writing at his desk with a pen which must have cost a small fortune. He was whistling that tune he pretends to love. I say pretends because all he loves is money.

My boss saw me standing in front of him, “I didn’t hear anyone announce you. As I remember you left for the day. Why are you here? I don’t remember sending for you.”

I told him, “You didn’t send for me.”

He questioned, “No, then what are you doing here?”

I growled, “You mean I don’t have the right to visit you.”

He replied, “I see enough of you all day.”

I suggested, “Too much, well you won’t see me anymore.”

He laughed, “Why are you quitting?”

I barked, “No, but you are you’re quitting this world and this life.”

He chuckled, “Oh really, I hadn’t given it much thought.”

I insisted, “I know, but I have. I came here to kill you.”

He yelled, “You what? Oh no not you. You’re a comedian put that cat pistol away.”

I asked, “Oh you think I won’t do it?”

He laughed, “Why should you kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. Who else would give you a job but me?”

I insisted, “I could work anywhere I’m a top man in my field.”

He replied, “Sure but you haven’t had a new idea in years now.”

I informed, “By that you mean you haven’t stolen one of my ideas in years.”

He demanded, “When did I ever steal one of your ideas.”

 

[gonewacky]

I declared, “Our new A-line. That wasn’t mine go ahead. I dare you say it wasn’t my ideas that made it possible.”

He argued, “The truth is Alexander your ideas made it impossible. It’s only after we threw them out.”

I shouted, “You’re lying.”

He smiled, “Come on Alexander have a drink you’ll feel better. Who else could you ever work for? Who else would put up with your tantrums and your delusions of grandeur? Sometimes I wonder why I do it myself. You know why?”

I said, “Because you’re waiting to steal my next design that’s why.”

He insisted, “Now you know that’s not why, it was for Dortha’s sake.”

I barked, “Don’t you mention my wife’s name.”

He guessed, “I guess I must have been in love with your wife.”

I said, “Don’t mention her. She’s a vicious hateful woman.”

He marveled, “She was the most beautiful woman I ever met. Too bad our delivery driver is having an affair with her.”

Boom!

Catherine gasped, “Oh baby, what did you do?”



Jack marveled, “Are you telling me these two Gal’s picked you up and took you to this cavern and you had this dream of all this stuff. Like the devils and witches?”

Alexander insisted, “No it wasn’t a dream.”

Jack insisted, “They must have fed you one of them things like poison mushrooms or something. It gives you those wild nightmares.”

Alexander exclaimed, “It wasn’t a dream.”

Jack asked, “You mean you actually killed your boss?”

Alexander said, “No I had a vision of killing my boss.”

Jack insisted, “Now look the only reason I’m listening to this is for those two Dames, the blonde and the red head. What happened with them? If they don’t come back then as far as I’m concerned the story’s over.”

Alexander explained, “No they never left me. You see they were with me all the time even when I had the vision of killing my boss.”

Jack questioned, “Yeah, so what happened?”

Alexander went on, “I stood there looking at his body on the floor in this Vision that I had, and I was holding the revolver. Then the blond stepped forward and removed the gun from my hand.”

Catherine whispered, “I’ll take that baby we have to reload it. The prince is very proud of you. The service can now continue you brought us blood. Are you ready to go home?”

I said. “No, I don’t want to go home. I don’t feel it’s my home any longer.”

Maria replied, “It’s because she shut you out of it. A man’s home is his castle. What right does another man have to live in your Castle tiger? You want to get your home back? Kill them!”

The Prince of Darkness, “But look at him now on the floor. He’s the man who robbed you of your standing as an engineer. The man who used to be your boss you killed him, so now for those who rob you of your standing as a man. Kill them also. The pistol is in your pocket will you speak the word to him Alexander. Close your eyes. When I say open your eyes. You will be in your own home. At least it’s the place you paid for, but another man enjoys when you’re gone. Open your eyes. You’re home kill them both!”

Joe saw me, “So Alexander I see you finally got home.”

I replied, “And I see you’re here as usual.”

Dortha revealed, “I wish he was here more often.”

I asked, “Oh you do. Why?”

Dortha screamed, “It beats being alone all the time.”

I asked, “Joe why don’t you get a wife of your own”

Dortha snarled, “Why don’t you mind your business Alexander.”

I insisted, “But this is my business. It’s very much my business. It could very well be that Joe feels he doesn’t need a wife of his own as long as he has mine.”

Dortha demanded, “And just what is that supposed to mean Alexander?”

Joe started, “I didn’t say anything…”

Dortha noted, “Joe don’t even dignify that kind of slander with a reply.”

I asked, “Do you think I’m blind?”

Dortha laughed, “Yes you’re also deaf and dumb.

I said, “I know what’s going on here.”

Dortha replied, “Well then tell me.”

I snapped back, “Are you kidding?”

Joe joined in, “Look Alexander you have to work late at the plan.”

Dortha added, “He doesn’t have to he wants to.”

I scolded, “Yes that’s right and the next time I design a new process that’s worth a fortune. I won’t say a word about it. I’ll just walk out and sell it.

Joe commented, “When did you ever design anything?”

I maintained, “Are you saying I did not design the A-line.”

Joe laughed, “Alexander please you need help.”

I uttered, “Yes I know.”

Dortha asked, “What did you say?”

I repeated, “I said I know I need help.”

Dortha exclaimed, You never said that before. Hey darling don’t you see that’s half the battle to face yourself squarely. To admit you need help. Don’t you agree Joe?”

Joe replied, “Yes it’s really true. We will find you the best psychiatrist.”

I yelled, “I don’t need a psychiatrist!”

Dortha asserted, “But you just said you need help.

I snapped back, “I have the best help the truest help actually the only real help there is, religion.”

Dortha questioned, “Religion? Oh sure why not. Belief helps you. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world. Did you have a religious experience Alexander?”

I insisted, “Yes!”

Dortha whispered, “I’m so happy for you, so what did you pray for?”

I said, “Death.”

Dortha gasped, “What did you say?”

I repeated, “Death.”

Dortha insisted, “Oh no you mustn’t Alexander.”

I added, “For your death. I’m not planning for my death. I’m planning for yours and his.”

Dortha whispered, “What are you doing Alexander that’s a gun.”

I said, “Yes, a Colt Peacemaker, a nice revolver, a highly accurate weapon.”

Joe said, “Now Alexander you don’t want to do anything.”

I replied, “Oh yes I intend to do something smart. Very smart.”

Joe begged, “You don’t want to kill me.”

I smiled, “But I do. Oh so I do.”

Dortha inquired, “Why Alexander why?”

I said, “You know why.”

Dortha insisted, “I don’t.”

I explained, “The two of you apparently have never did anything. You never even thought of it. Go ahead tell me that. I bet you never even thought of it.”

Dortha whined, “Well, oh yes Alexander. We thought of it.”

I smirked, “Oh now we’re getting somewhere.”

Dortha insisted, “We thought of it, but we decided we couldn’t do it.”

I barked, “And that’s a lie,”

Dortha went on, “We’re not made that way Alexander. You don’t love me anymore and I don’t believe in divorce, so the three of us will have to go on being miserable forever.”

I snarled, “Oh no, not all three of us. Two of us will be dead, and the dead as far as I know are not miserable.”

Dortha cried, “No Alexander please stop.”

I insisted, “I won’t be in misery, but you will. I’ve been commanded to do this.”

Dortha insisted, “The only command there is for a thing like this is Thou shalt not kill.”

I laughed, “That’s not my command there.”

Dortha begged, “You can’t.”

I barked, “Oh yes I can, because he has darkened my soul. He has hardened my heart and he has studied my hands.”

Joe cried, “Oh for the Love of Heaven.”

I replied, “Not heaven Joe.”

“Boom Boom”

They were on the floor dead my wife, and her lover who had also been my best friend. I closed my eyes for a moment as if I couldn’t believe what had happened, and when I opened them again I was back in that other place. He was there the one who was called The Prince of Darkness, and they were there the two who called themselves witches.

Catherine smiled, “You did it baby.”

Maria added, “You were a terrific tiger you’re my best loved child.”

I insisted, “Catherine I want to go home.”

The Prince of Darkness disclosed, “You’re home now. You have a place here. You have two wives.”

Catherine smiled, “He means me baby.”

Maria added, “Oh me too tiger.”

The Prince of Darkness insisted, “Look at them aren’t they beautiful.”

I said, “No please.”

The Prince of Darkness insisted, “You have a job you’re the Keeper of the flame.”

Catherine smiled, “Hey baby that’s the best job there is. You light the fire for the witches. Now let the service continue.”

I begged, “Let me out of here please. I’m frightened. I’m leaving did you hear that. Laughter echoed around me as I ran from that place and from the sound of the laughter. That terrible laughter, I ran through the dark and deserted streets of the city. I didn’t stop running until I saw a light. It was safe here with the bright lights and the friendly faces. Here I’m safe.”

Jack asked, so what happened you mean you killed your wife and your friend in addition to your boss

Alexander insisted, “No I didn’t kill anybody, but the terrible thing is. I wanted to, and it dominated my mind. Which is why they came after me, don’t you understand?”

Jack replied, “All I understand is that I stayed open past one o’clock, because I thought you were going to tell me about those two dames. What happened to them?”

Alexander insisted, “They’re after me right now. I’m one of them. Don’t you see they’ll be after me as long as I live.”

Jack informed, “Okay Mister this is it. Closing time.”

Alexander begged, “Oh please don’t send me out to the street. Please, they’re looking for me.”

Jack insisted, “Men with white coats are looking for you. They reach in your mind, they read your heart, two beautiful dames in a buggy. Why don’t I run into things like that?”

Alexander replied, “You will, you will if there’s evil in your mind. If there’s murder in your heart they’ll find you.”

 

[gonewacky]

Jack complained, “Oh for crying out loud. I say guys in white coats are looking for you. Two Lawmen are looking for me on a count of you. I broke the law and because of you I’m open.”

Just then Albert and Jim came in. Jack insisted, “Look Sheriff my watch must have been wrong. I’m not serving.”

Jim walked around behind Alexander and Albert announced, “Sure Jack.”

Jim commanded, “Don’t try anything.”

Jack insisted, “Hey look there’s nothing going on here.”

Albert barked, “Careful Jack he’s a killer. He’s armed.”

Jack pointed, “The guns in his pocket.”

Jim pushed his gun to the back of Alexander’s head and said, “Hand over the gun Mister. Easy I said I’ll cut you down right here.”

Albert asked, “Your name’s Alexander?”

Alexander replied, “Yes.”

Albert asked, “That Peacemaker it’s your gun?”

Jack questioned, “Hey wait a second. I’m not dreaming? This is for real? You mean he killed somebody?”

Albert replied, “Yep, three people.”

Alexander insisted, “Let me tell you why I did it mister.”

Jim barked, “You better tell that to a judge and a jury.”

Jack mumbled, “Like I was saying. You stand here behind a bar, and you get all kinds of stories.



Jim and Albert walked down the boardwalk with Alexander headed to the Jail. They heard a loud boom like thunder. Then the booming voice of The Prince of Darkness filled the air, “What you have is mine, and the Keeper of the flame. Close your eyes Alexander.”

Albert looked around and asked, “What the hell is that?”

Alexander informed, “That’s The Prince of Darkness. I tried to tell you.”

Then Alexander closed his eyes and disappeared leaving Jim’s hand empty. All they heard was the sound of the thud from the Hand Irons hitting the ground. Looking at each other Jim said, “Oh crap.”

Albert muttered, “What the hell?”

Jim replied, “Yep that’s where he went alright.”



When Alexander opened his eyes he found he had Catherine on one arm and Maria on the other.”

Catherine bubbled, “Welcome home baby.”

Maria followed with, “I knew you’d be back tiger.”



About a month later at the full moon Jack mumbled, “Hey where’d the time go it’s a quarter to one. Excuse me friend a couple of hot dames just walked in down at the other end of the bar.”

The man replied, “Hey not bad looking huh?”

Jack insisted, “Yeah I’ll be right back.”

Jack walked up to the two brunettes’, “Well ladies you got time for one more before closing. What will it be?”

One of them said, “Hiya baby.”

The other followed with, “Hello tiger you want to have a little fun?”

Jack revealed, “I’m a married man.”

The first brunette said, “That’s why we asked.”

The other brunette followed with, “Why don’t you close the place and we’ll take you to a party.

Jack insisted, “Oh well uh. Look gals I told you I’m a married man.”

The first brunette went on, “Yeah we know that’s what you have to say baby.”

The other brunette added, “But what do you want to say tiger?”

Jack stuttered, “Ah I I want to say uh. Oh what are we waiting for.”

Well what are you still reading for? The story’s over.

 

[feralferret]

Wacko, thanks!