Prep Genrl deleting old friends

[OzRural]

Over the past 3 years I found myself getting warey of some old friends who never got onboard with prepping. I never pushed it on them but as mates we shared things in common, one bought some gold and silver and built an off-grid solar backup, one is a camper/shooter, that sort of thing. Anyway as the years (decades) passed I realized that they were just doing what made them feel good with no real commitment to the "cause" so to speak. With all the covid drama I began to realize that one day it probably will get real and I didn't want these guys knocking on my door and scunging off my preps since they knew me from the beginning of it all. It wasn't hard to distance myself and break the friendships, we never saw each other too often anyway since I moved from city to country.

I wonder if anyone else has chosen to do this, or thought of doing it? It's an aspect of prepping I had never thought about before. We sacrifice a lot in our pursuit of safety and future security but I had never thought of sacrificing relationships before.

 

[lanningro]

Yes, and as most of my old neighbors and friends knew I was "well prepared". Pretty hard to hide after 20 plus years of living and working with folks. When the chance to move to AR came 4 years ago I knew it was a one time gift from God not to be wasted. Best thing I have ever done.

 

[Jeff B.]

Heck, I’ve got family in that category.

Jeff B.

 

[Sneaker 11]

The first thing is to personally define what a friend is. I have many acquaintances but few friends.

11

 

[raven]

honestly, many of us have such friends
because
otherwise there would be no one else to talk to

 

[Illini Warrior]

deleting due to politics more than prepping - but - the two are more closely related than not

 

[nomifyle]

The majority of my liberal friends fell by the way side years ago, where I've deleted people from my life in recent times has been on facebook. I rarely go on fb much anymore anyway. I don't make friends easily and that is because when I meet someone I think I might like after having a conversation with them I realize we have nothing in common, so I back off. One person I was friends with years ago I was friends with on FB. When she marched wearing a pink pussy hat, I said to myself bye bye and deleted her. Even when I thought I was a feminist back in the day i was never into marching in protest. The only marching I've ever done was when I was in the navy and I was proud to serve my country.

God is good all the time

Judy

 

[greysage]

Been doing my best to fade away since last summer. Many of the people I've spent time with or known somehow have either chose to be separate from me or I've made the decision myself. Mostly around values and politics. Recently (in the last few weeks) a female cousin and a female friend from childhood have made comments (one directed at me) about White men. They are both White and in their 50's. Both finally jettisoned for good. Been avoiding the liberal types since President Trump was elected. Relationships are irreparably broken now. Even with go-along-to-get-along republicans. Still can't get past the several serious gun owners, gun rights people insisting we wear masks and get the shot. Sickening.

 

[Meemur]

I just don't have time for petty drama. Some single women I knew drifted from one crisis to another. We all have problems. I don't mind giving occasional rides to the doctor, picking up groceries, or even cutting a lawn here and there because something has happened, but these are in support of major problems like cancer or surgery, not "I spent all my money on going to see a guy in Florida who ripped me off" sorts of events.

Even groups are hit or miss. There are several ladies I meet up with for biking but I would never join a large cycling group at this point: too much drama!

I move a lot. Although I've kept track of several people I knew in high school, we don't live in the same state.

 

[EMICT]

If friends, even close friends were there during times of extreme crisis then there would have been more crosses on Calvary. That’s why most folks I know view me as a loner, always there if they need help but rarely hear me ask for assistance in return.

 

[Mary Contrary]

I hàd had a friend named Alan who I crossed off my friend list just becuz he got the covid shot. I told him why. He wanted to visit. He stopped texting me. I blocked that commie guy but he still got through.

Wanted to see me this weekend. I flat out told him vaccinated people are spreading the covid spike protein and I don't see vaccinated people. I sent him a bunch of videos on it. He said ok and wished me a good life.

I won't see my cousin anymore cuz they both got the shot. And Jim died and Amy moved away so I have just one friend I met in the store. He is a Conservative vet and won't get the shot. We text. I need more friends. No one knows I prep. I got food in buckets I will never eat. The food will Outlast me.

 

[hiwall]

We've moved a couple times and most friends have fallen to the wayside. We do have some good friends close by now who happen to be preppers.

 

[EMICT]

The main reason to have friends is to make ‘you’ feel better about yourself, have someone to give you profs, share in your misery, et. al.

If you’re that weak to begin with, then all is truly lost. I’m starting to see a pattern here in this thread.

 

[WildDaisy]

Nope, I have tons of family and friends who are not preppers. I don't choose friends because they are exactly the same as me in every way. I choose them because I know they love me and I, them for who they are. My husband and I live by a principle we call We Not Me. "It ain't all about you". Having a close friend or family is more about what you GIVE, not about what you GET, and I don't mean stuff. I mean of yourself. To have true compassion for someone else.

If it wasn't "too hard" to distance yourself from those friendships, perhaps they weren't friends to begin with. They were just people you happened to know their name. To have lost true friendships would have been devastating. You only get a few of those true friends in your lifetime.

God gives you back, overflowing, what you have measured onto others.

 

[OzRural]

A lot of diverse responses here but the trend is obvious. Ten years ago I wouldn't have given this a thought, and I was 6 years an enlightened prepper back then. but as time marches on you have more to lose and you see more things happening across the globe to make you want to hunker down a little deeper. I still have a couple of friends from the old days but they know little of my preps, as it should be! All people keep things secret, top of the list is generally their finances, or lack there of, so I don't feel bad about not telling those "Mainstream" friends.

It's easy to drop a few clues or tips without exposing the depth of your future plans, I do that with some new friends up here in the rural town I moved too. One thing I have learnt over the years is this. If you tell someone, even someone close to you, your plans and preps, they will tell others, even if it's just to brag on your account to make you look important. I remember a GF I had a decade ago bragging on FB about my precious metal acquisitions. I was mortified! But I learnt a valuable lesson from it. I know some people don't care, but the day may come when they do. It certainly has for me.

 

[hiwall]

The main reason to have friends is to make ‘you’ feel better about yourself, have someone to give you profs, share in your misery, et. al.

If you’re that weak to begin with, then all is truly lost. I’m starting to see a pattern here in this thread.

The main reason to have friends is to have someone who can give you help if you need it.
Your car breaks down and you need a ride, call a friend.
You need a third hand when working on a home project, call a friend.
You need someone to lend you $20 until Friday, call a friend.
You need to brag to someone about your new rifle, call a friend.

 

[OzRural]

If it wasn't "too hard" to distance yourself from those friendships, perhaps they weren't friends to begin with

Yes you are correct in a sense. A lot of people grow apart over time but we hang onto those "friendships" out of habit and a sense of need as EMICT said above. The truth is that what constituted those particular friendship of mine, the commonality; the youthful drinking sessions and camping trips, is gone. If I met them for the first time today I would never befriend them. Life is too short to spend it in the company of people who make you feel uncomfortable or drag you down, even if they are people you grew up with. One was married but is now a whoremonger taking regular trips to the Philippines, not the sort of man I want to associate with you know? Eph 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.

 

[helen]

People stay home in a crisis until they are overtly forced to leave. No one is coming to your place.

My group has a standing offer to shelter anyone they see fit to bring. They know they have to jump early or stay put. They prepare to stay put but do know how to bug out. They will shelter other people, because that's what we've always done since before our great-grandparents' time. It works for us so far.

 

[Walrus]

The main reason to have friends is to have someone who can give you help if you need it.
Your car breaks down and you need a ride, call a friend.
You need a third hand when working on a home project, call a friend.
You need someone to lend you $20 until Friday, call a friend.
You need to brag to someone about your new rifle, call a friend.

You need to call someone to bail you out of jail, call someone else. Your friend is with you in the clink.

 

[SAPPHIRE]

Dh and I are "loners"....we seem to be a fringe couple........oh well........we chose to distance ourselves from an old acquaintance when politics, faith, and social choices intruded too much.........we'd rather have Jesus and live what we believe than hang onto older acquaintances who have highly divergent views, and live a very "me, myself, and I" kind of life.....

Though loners we aren't anti-social......just can't find people who share same worldview and walk the talk......

 

[jward]

I've become a "foul weathered friend" for a handful of folks; should they ever need me, nothing would keep me from their side, no questions asked, because I bond for life... but if they're not burying a baby or spouse or parent, or the equivelent, they get my love and well wishes from a distance. I should qualify that is more than prepping though, it's a whole cluster of conflicting priorities.

 

[helen]

How boring would the world be if I had no other points of view, no arguments, no debates, no shouting matches, no enmity?

 

[Luddite]

Different facets to relationships. Family dynamics too.

Friends are great. Family is better.
A dynamic personal threat assessment is ignored at one's own peril.
Giving of oneself need not mean letting ANYONE take ANYTHING.

guilt-free self-defense in all situations...

 

[tech]

My wife is my friend...others are merely acquaintences.

 

[Henry Bowman]

Some just don't get it.

It is about OPSEC . If they are not preppers or are Communist Sympathizers or outright Commie scum you need to stay away.

When it lights off they will turn on you for a meal.

Your tribe MUST be of like mind in every way.

 

[OzRural]

Your tribe MUST be of like mind in every way.

This thread certainly brought out some dark thinking but I have to agree. If we look around in our towns and cities we see little tribes everywhere, gangs, the police, punks, and then there is this huge mass of population that smile at each other and say nice things but have nothing in common outside of a few TV shows. Well that worked ok back in the 1950's and 1970's but it just won't cut it in a world where half of them are poor and hungry I believe.

 

[ginnie6]

I have one good friend, anything she or her dh needed I'd help with. Dh has a couple of friends he'd do the same for but he never sees them. He'd probably be the same way with some of the guys that work for him. I guess we're just a loner couple too since we don't get together with others. We are family first and by the time we gather them all together we are our own tribe.

 

[blackguard]

Heck, I’ve got family in that category.

Jeff B.

Same here and not a few of them. Happily near all of them are about a twelve hour drive away and won't be coming my way. I talked and talked but excuse after excuse was all I heard so I stopped talking and continued to prep and train. They are family but not my responsibility

 

[OzRural]

I talked and talked but excuse after excuse was all I heard

It's the sad reality of humans I am afraid, we are the only species that doesn't have a strong instinct for survival. It came into clarity for me when I read accounts of the rape of Nanking by the japanese occupation force. Most accounts focus on the carnage but one pointed out the fact that the city had days if not weeks notice on the impending invasion. Hundreds of thousands fled to the country, taking what they could on carts etc. Those that remained were concerned but believed things, wouldn't get "That" bad.

 

[Old Gray Mare]

We moved and donated, sold or discarded our preps. So bad news: we're starting from scratch. Good news: We are far enough from the liberal family as not to be an issue.

 

[OzRural]

My first prep was rice and beans, my second was gold and silver. That was back in the early 2000's and I have long since used up or thrown out the food but the PM's are still safely tucked away.