How about...
1) "Hey, it smells better than my ex-wife's cat." (In some cases, the ex-wife?!?)
2) "This 'slow food' craze is getting out of hand."
3) "Economy Size meat cuts -- some (dis)assembly required"
4) One solution to the milk price increases.
5) "Hey, I've got to have
something to load in my trebuchet!"
6) "I got tired of making trips to the garden store for manure for my 'mater plants."
7) "Just mugged an [Asian] Indian"
8) "Manure just smells better when it's
fresh."
9) "Get cows when they're young enough, and they won't go "mad" on you."
10) "They were out of ewes."
http://www.ratedtoons.com/flash/Dirty_Deeds.cfm (need sound; not too bad; wouldn't play at work, or if the under-13 crowd is around)