Story Ava (Complete)
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
Might be another day or two before I can post. Work is just … gah! People are already telling us they won't pay their rent for May … not can't but won't. But it is like they are breaking things on purpose. No. I'm not kidding. We are trying to decide whether to use covid19 to only do emergency work orders. And get this, in Florida no AC is not an emergency. No heat is an emergency but not no AC. Bwahahaha!
Seriously, I think hubby and I are just losing it. Have some calls to make to the county, city, and a couple of lawyers we know to see if there is a way to pay those pudsuckers back. So, I'm in the middle of a mess but I'll get something written up as soon as I can. Sorry for the delay.
Seriously, I think hubby and I are just losing it. Have some calls to make to the county, city, and a couple of lawyers we know to see if there is a way to pay those pudsuckers back. So, I'm in the middle of a mess but I'll get something written up as soon as I can. Sorry for the delay.
Old Gray Mare
TB Fanatic
Kathy I'm wondering if they think if they break enough stuff you'll let them break the lease and walk away from the debt?
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I have 1 tenant that just finished paying April's rent a bit at a time. Others mostly on time lucky me. The sad thing is I had 2 potential purchasers disappear, hopefully they will be back. They need to sell their property in order to have the down payment.
Kathy, I wish you all the best. Does your government allow the big stick to be brought out or must you continuously walk softly?
Kathy, I wish you all the best. Does your government allow the big stick to be brought out or must you continuously walk softly?
Griz3752
Retired, practising Curmudgeon
TCOB
What you share w/ us is great stuff & I know it helps me through the days. I know there are many more of us who look forward to your posts BUT you & yours have to come first in this equation so do what you must; we'll wait.
Thanks for everything you've shared with us thus far -- there's more than enough there to read again to keep one occupied.
Take care & stay healthy.
G
Thanks for the heads up, Ma'am. You know that we'll patiently await whatever scraps and crumbs you deign to toss our way, happy with any tiny morsels you scatter before us. We are but your humble minions, hopin' to be worthy of any small amount of attention we get, which will surely be more than we deserve.
OH my Lord Kathy! Here I'm stuck with putting away groceries my husband brings in (he shops to keep me from being exposed to C-19) and today he hits about 3-4 stores & I just got a phone call that our new stove will be delivered between 12-3 today!!! No warning last night, just HELLO! FTWB wipes down most stuff in the garage with Lysol and I do produce in the kitchen. So today is always a busy day now the stove is showing up. LOL
AND you go and post a dozen or so new chapters for Vita
It never rains but it pours. No complaining as we are blessed at 83 & 74 to be able to 1. Afford what we "want" & what we need. 2. In great health to be able to go multiple stores to find the best bargians.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! <3
AND you go and post a dozen or so new chapters for Vita
It never rains but it pours. No complaining as we are blessed at 83 & 74 to be able to 1. Afford what we "want" & what we need. 2. In great health to be able to go multiple stores to find the best bargians.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! <3
Old Gray Mare
TB Fanatic
Grrr! I know the "pieces" are right there but I can't put them together. I know I'm going to feel stupid when Kathy finally lays it out for us.Kathy in FL said:
Sorry it took so long. Been busy as heck.
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Chapter 58
“I am not watching you puke up pecans Fabrice. You either ride the Scrambler or you eat a piece of Pecan-crete. You ain’t doing both boy and that’s a fact. So which is it going to be?”
I watched a terrible debate battle its way across Fabrice’s face. He looked at the bag of Pecan-crete I was about to slide into my carry-all bag then at the Ride-All-Day arm band he had on his wrist. He asked, “Can I take mine home?”
“Well I didn’t intend to eat the whole dat burn bag in one sitting no matter what the temptation. Something this goods needs to be saved and measured out so it lasts. You go hog-at-a-trough and there won’t be any until next year.”
He squared his shoulders and said, “I’d like to ride the Scrambler please.”
I nodded. “Bought time you started to work smart. C’mon. I guess I can ride with you on this one without squishing you too bad.”
He laughed and started dragging me to the end of the line to wait our turn. The Crawfish Festival is normally held the beginning of May and has just about since it started a million years ago … or at least since way back in 1960. Last year they didn’t have it because of terrorist threats going on all over and the governor wigged out and went all crazy shutting crap down. That was before my time. This year they almost didn’t have it except it is supposed to be a critical economic event plus people wanted it for morale reasons. Sure, it makes a target and some people stayed home but oh well. Everything in life is a risk. Some of the old folks say it is like back in 2020 when they closed it down for one of the pandemics that started up. They say it really killed businesses … and sometimes people because the depression made people crazy and the suicide rates skyrocketed. They worried the same thing would happen this year, between the war and stuff. Some of the vendors have changed and there aren’t as many rides, but it looks like everyone is happy they are having it even if it is two months late.
As a foster kid we generally got tickets to a lot of stuff like that. Some of the kids really liked it, some not so much, especially when they would see families out together having fun. Me? Meh. Kinda depended. Our troop had a tradition of helping with parking at the Manatee County Fair – where Bradenton is – so I was there rain or shine every year. Usually helped with some of the Christmas Flea Markets as a way to earn money for our high adventure treks too. I’ve been to the Florida State Fair and the Strawberry Festival a hand full of times and those are really big. Went to re-enactments that also had like Suttler areas. But I gotta say, a festival for a crawfish was a little beyond different. But there was lots of same to it as well.
A couple of hours later I was washing Fabrice up. “Sorry,” he muttered miserably while his brothers laughed not too far away as they continued to make puking sound effects at Fabrice’s expense.
“Well I guess you’ll know not to trust them next time. I’m just hoping cake batter was all that was in that milk shake they gave you to drink before you went on the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
“I watched the lady make it and took it right from her. The reason I drank it so fast was I didn’t want them doing something to it or making me drop it.”
I got the last of the worst of the puked-up sprinkles off his shirt and shoes and said, “Well that was using your noggin’ for something other than a battering ram … but next time …”
“Wait a while before I get on a ride.”
I said, “Yep. That’s about like how you have to wait an hour before getting back in the bayou after eating. Kind of a safety thing.”
He gave it a serious nod and said, “Kind of a not puking thing.”
I chuckled. “Well at least you know how to gross out Robin Lucerne. No more having to worry that she’s gonna try and kiss you.”
His depression sudden took a turn back into happyland and it just made me laugh more. “C’mon. It is getting late and Mr. Julius is going to expect you to go home with him and Mr. Hubert in less than an hour. How about a ride on the Ferris Wheel with me?”
“Awe, you don’t wanna …”
“Sure I do. If you don’t then I’ll have to go by myself.”
“For real?”
“For real. Now let’s go.”
I near jumped when I heard, “Want some company? I got gifted a couple of day tickets and it should be just enough that I won’t have to hog any of Ava’s.”
“Sure!” Fabrice told Em brightly. “I might get a little smooshed but I’ll sit in the middle.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Em said at the same time I said, “I’ll smoosh you all right you little turkey.”
Fabrice laughed like he hadn’t just been puking up an oversized portion of cake batter shake and being embarrassed to death by his rotten brothers less than thirty minutes earlier.
Mr. Hubert and Mr. Julius were waiting on us at the bottom of the Ferris Wheel when we got off. Good thing as I was keeping both Fabrice and Em upright as the getting on part had been a whole lot easier than the getting off part had been.
To cover for Em who started to get upset as his temporary lack of balance I made a face and told the two of them, “Y’all can stop being funny any time you’re ready. I told you I don’t dance. And you ain’t gonna make me any fonder of it when you pull tricks like this.”
Thibault and Vadie strolled up at the same time with Dot who takes one look at Fabrice and asks, “What happened?”
He gets a real serious look and says, “Dot-Dot, milkshakes and tilt-a-whirls don’t mix.”
Tib laughs and said, “You think you blew chunks?! Ask Pere and Granpere what happened the year I won the pie eating contest and then got on the Zipper.”
Mr. Hubert grimaces and said, “Don’t remind me boy. I think Elaine Simple still has to go to confession on occasion for what she thinks about doing to you every time that story comes up.”
Everyone else laughs whether they know the story or not because Mr. Hubert’s face gave enough of an impression to let you use your imagination. Everyone turned and started heading for the parking area, except for Mr. Julius. “You need a ride home Ava? Can get a little rowdy when the sun goes down.”
“No thank you. My bike is in the back of Em’s truck.” I turned and said to Em, “Unless you’re ready to go?”
“Naw Cher, not unless you’re ready.”
“I can ride my bike back if …”
He shook his head. “You ain’t riding that bike home. We get a lot of out of towners and this year is no exception.”
“Now just a min …”
Mr. Julius interrupts and says, “That’s good Son. I was worried she’d get bull-headed on the subject. Just have her home before the rooster crows. Tomorra might be Saturday, but it’s the first of the month and we’ll need to be out early to get the commodities before they run out. We’re also taking delivery from the Trust Lawyers. Gonna need yore help too, it is a monthly load so I ‘spect they’s be sending along some barrels and sech. Getting’ less scrip ever month it seems.”
He turned to leave and we watched until he caught up to with his family who had stopped to wait for him.
I turned to Em and asked, “Well if you don’t want to go back to the Old House, where is it you want to go?”
“Dancing.”
“Now just hang on. I …”
“Don’t tell me you can’t. I saw you teaching Zeb.”
I opened my mouth then closed it. “Well, at least he won’t kill whoever he’s dancing with anymore.”
Em snorted. “He might still maim them. I ain’t never seen someone with that much lead in their feet.”
“Uh uh. He’s fine if he’s dancing by himself … you know what I mean so stop trying not to grin. Zeb’s problem is he gets too nervous and stiff when he has to partner dance … like old fashioned dancing.”
“And you’re not?”
I shrugged then admitted, “I lost a bet.”
“Cher, did what fell our of your mouth make sense?”
I laughed. “I made a bet with Mr. Loper … the caretaker at the group home … that I wouldn’t be late for a whole month. I was only a week in when one of my jobs – I was on an inventory crew – blew a flat and I was 5 minutes late.”
“And?”
“And Mr. Loper’s sister owned a dance studio and I got stuck taking weekly dance lessons for two semesters running.”
“That smile on your face tells me you didn’t mind losing the bet.”
“Did at first. Miss Loper … didn’t accept that I wasn’t what you would call a girly-girl. She was a tough old bird and could get her way just by waiting you out. You think I’m stubborn, she had me beat all to pieces. I might have kept up with the lessons except Mr. Loper got sick and had to retire and his wife … kinda blamed us kids. Mr. Loper’s sister said she would have liked to have kept me on – I cleaned her building to pay for the lessons – but sometimes you got to keep the peace in the family. And not long after that the group home closed and life just kept getting crazy in the way of anything like dance lessons.”
He looked at me for a moment, grinned, then said, “Tell you what, let’s go grab some bites to eat then we’ll head over to one of the dance floors. We’ll see how long I last.”
“Last?”
“Didja forget I’m not exactly light on my feet these days? You had to keep me upright getting off the damn ferris wheel.” He was starting to frown so I felt duty bound to do something about that.
“We were keeping each other up. I swear Fabrice is going to give me my fifth white hair if he don’t do something about them wiggles.”
“Fifth?”
“Yep. Already have four.”
“The boy is a pistol but he ain’t that bad.”
“First four aren’t from him. When I was five years old I climbed a tree in the backyard of our house. Problem is I couldn’t get down. I remembered being scared that my parents were going to find out so I decided I was just going to live up in the tree. Only I got tired and fell asleep and fell out. Mom thought I was with Dad in his shop and Dad thought I was with Mom in the house. They thought DJ was telling a story when he started screaming to go outside because he said he saw me fall, it was his and Lalli’s bedtime. Mom and Dad were fired up mad – according to DJ – until he ran between them and ran straight to the azalea bushes and started pulling me out. As soon as they realized it wasn’t a joke and that I wasn’t waking up they rushed me to the walk-in clinic. I landed on an acorn cap and it stabbed me in the head and dinged my skull. I had a concussion and from that day forward Lalli would say I was like I was because God dropped me on my head … but only when Mom and Dad weren’t around.” I laughed.
“You telling me the truth or a story?”
“The truth,” I laughed. I showed him the four white hairs that I normally plucked out when they got long enough to show. “Unlike the rest of my hair these are straight as a board and nearly sharp as porcupine quills. Probably scared straight.”
He just shook his head. “And here I thought you only started using up your nine lives recently.” Finally he grinned. “You hungry?”
“Just about starving,” I said returning his grin.
He surprised me by taking my hand and pulling me along. That was something new.
----------------------------
Chapter 58
“I am not watching you puke up pecans Fabrice. You either ride the Scrambler or you eat a piece of Pecan-crete. You ain’t doing both boy and that’s a fact. So which is it going to be?”
I watched a terrible debate battle its way across Fabrice’s face. He looked at the bag of Pecan-crete I was about to slide into my carry-all bag then at the Ride-All-Day arm band he had on his wrist. He asked, “Can I take mine home?”
“Well I didn’t intend to eat the whole dat burn bag in one sitting no matter what the temptation. Something this goods needs to be saved and measured out so it lasts. You go hog-at-a-trough and there won’t be any until next year.”
He squared his shoulders and said, “I’d like to ride the Scrambler please.”
I nodded. “Bought time you started to work smart. C’mon. I guess I can ride with you on this one without squishing you too bad.”
He laughed and started dragging me to the end of the line to wait our turn. The Crawfish Festival is normally held the beginning of May and has just about since it started a million years ago … or at least since way back in 1960. Last year they didn’t have it because of terrorist threats going on all over and the governor wigged out and went all crazy shutting crap down. That was before my time. This year they almost didn’t have it except it is supposed to be a critical economic event plus people wanted it for morale reasons. Sure, it makes a target and some people stayed home but oh well. Everything in life is a risk. Some of the old folks say it is like back in 2020 when they closed it down for one of the pandemics that started up. They say it really killed businesses … and sometimes people because the depression made people crazy and the suicide rates skyrocketed. They worried the same thing would happen this year, between the war and stuff. Some of the vendors have changed and there aren’t as many rides, but it looks like everyone is happy they are having it even if it is two months late.
As a foster kid we generally got tickets to a lot of stuff like that. Some of the kids really liked it, some not so much, especially when they would see families out together having fun. Me? Meh. Kinda depended. Our troop had a tradition of helping with parking at the Manatee County Fair – where Bradenton is – so I was there rain or shine every year. Usually helped with some of the Christmas Flea Markets as a way to earn money for our high adventure treks too. I’ve been to the Florida State Fair and the Strawberry Festival a hand full of times and those are really big. Went to re-enactments that also had like Suttler areas. But I gotta say, a festival for a crawfish was a little beyond different. But there was lots of same to it as well.
A couple of hours later I was washing Fabrice up. “Sorry,” he muttered miserably while his brothers laughed not too far away as they continued to make puking sound effects at Fabrice’s expense.
“Well I guess you’ll know not to trust them next time. I’m just hoping cake batter was all that was in that milk shake they gave you to drink before you went on the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
“I watched the lady make it and took it right from her. The reason I drank it so fast was I didn’t want them doing something to it or making me drop it.”
I got the last of the worst of the puked-up sprinkles off his shirt and shoes and said, “Well that was using your noggin’ for something other than a battering ram … but next time …”
“Wait a while before I get on a ride.”
I said, “Yep. That’s about like how you have to wait an hour before getting back in the bayou after eating. Kind of a safety thing.”
He gave it a serious nod and said, “Kind of a not puking thing.”
I chuckled. “Well at least you know how to gross out Robin Lucerne. No more having to worry that she’s gonna try and kiss you.”
His depression sudden took a turn back into happyland and it just made me laugh more. “C’mon. It is getting late and Mr. Julius is going to expect you to go home with him and Mr. Hubert in less than an hour. How about a ride on the Ferris Wheel with me?”
“Awe, you don’t wanna …”
“Sure I do. If you don’t then I’ll have to go by myself.”
“For real?”
“For real. Now let’s go.”
I near jumped when I heard, “Want some company? I got gifted a couple of day tickets and it should be just enough that I won’t have to hog any of Ava’s.”
“Sure!” Fabrice told Em brightly. “I might get a little smooshed but I’ll sit in the middle.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Em said at the same time I said, “I’ll smoosh you all right you little turkey.”
Fabrice laughed like he hadn’t just been puking up an oversized portion of cake batter shake and being embarrassed to death by his rotten brothers less than thirty minutes earlier.
Mr. Hubert and Mr. Julius were waiting on us at the bottom of the Ferris Wheel when we got off. Good thing as I was keeping both Fabrice and Em upright as the getting on part had been a whole lot easier than the getting off part had been.
To cover for Em who started to get upset as his temporary lack of balance I made a face and told the two of them, “Y’all can stop being funny any time you’re ready. I told you I don’t dance. And you ain’t gonna make me any fonder of it when you pull tricks like this.”
Thibault and Vadie strolled up at the same time with Dot who takes one look at Fabrice and asks, “What happened?”
He gets a real serious look and says, “Dot-Dot, milkshakes and tilt-a-whirls don’t mix.”
Tib laughs and said, “You think you blew chunks?! Ask Pere and Granpere what happened the year I won the pie eating contest and then got on the Zipper.”
Mr. Hubert grimaces and said, “Don’t remind me boy. I think Elaine Simple still has to go to confession on occasion for what she thinks about doing to you every time that story comes up.”
Everyone else laughs whether they know the story or not because Mr. Hubert’s face gave enough of an impression to let you use your imagination. Everyone turned and started heading for the parking area, except for Mr. Julius. “You need a ride home Ava? Can get a little rowdy when the sun goes down.”
“No thank you. My bike is in the back of Em’s truck.” I turned and said to Em, “Unless you’re ready to go?”
“Naw Cher, not unless you’re ready.”
“I can ride my bike back if …”
He shook his head. “You ain’t riding that bike home. We get a lot of out of towners and this year is no exception.”
“Now just a min …”
Mr. Julius interrupts and says, “That’s good Son. I was worried she’d get bull-headed on the subject. Just have her home before the rooster crows. Tomorra might be Saturday, but it’s the first of the month and we’ll need to be out early to get the commodities before they run out. We’re also taking delivery from the Trust Lawyers. Gonna need yore help too, it is a monthly load so I ‘spect they’s be sending along some barrels and sech. Getting’ less scrip ever month it seems.”
He turned to leave and we watched until he caught up to with his family who had stopped to wait for him.
I turned to Em and asked, “Well if you don’t want to go back to the Old House, where is it you want to go?”
“Dancing.”
“Now just hang on. I …”
“Don’t tell me you can’t. I saw you teaching Zeb.”
I opened my mouth then closed it. “Well, at least he won’t kill whoever he’s dancing with anymore.”
Em snorted. “He might still maim them. I ain’t never seen someone with that much lead in their feet.”
“Uh uh. He’s fine if he’s dancing by himself … you know what I mean so stop trying not to grin. Zeb’s problem is he gets too nervous and stiff when he has to partner dance … like old fashioned dancing.”
“And you’re not?”
I shrugged then admitted, “I lost a bet.”
“Cher, did what fell our of your mouth make sense?”
I laughed. “I made a bet with Mr. Loper … the caretaker at the group home … that I wouldn’t be late for a whole month. I was only a week in when one of my jobs – I was on an inventory crew – blew a flat and I was 5 minutes late.”
“And?”
“And Mr. Loper’s sister owned a dance studio and I got stuck taking weekly dance lessons for two semesters running.”
“That smile on your face tells me you didn’t mind losing the bet.”
“Did at first. Miss Loper … didn’t accept that I wasn’t what you would call a girly-girl. She was a tough old bird and could get her way just by waiting you out. You think I’m stubborn, she had me beat all to pieces. I might have kept up with the lessons except Mr. Loper got sick and had to retire and his wife … kinda blamed us kids. Mr. Loper’s sister said she would have liked to have kept me on – I cleaned her building to pay for the lessons – but sometimes you got to keep the peace in the family. And not long after that the group home closed and life just kept getting crazy in the way of anything like dance lessons.”
He looked at me for a moment, grinned, then said, “Tell you what, let’s go grab some bites to eat then we’ll head over to one of the dance floors. We’ll see how long I last.”
“Last?”
“Didja forget I’m not exactly light on my feet these days? You had to keep me upright getting off the damn ferris wheel.” He was starting to frown so I felt duty bound to do something about that.
“We were keeping each other up. I swear Fabrice is going to give me my fifth white hair if he don’t do something about them wiggles.”
“Fifth?”
“Yep. Already have four.”
“The boy is a pistol but he ain’t that bad.”
“First four aren’t from him. When I was five years old I climbed a tree in the backyard of our house. Problem is I couldn’t get down. I remembered being scared that my parents were going to find out so I decided I was just going to live up in the tree. Only I got tired and fell asleep and fell out. Mom thought I was with Dad in his shop and Dad thought I was with Mom in the house. They thought DJ was telling a story when he started screaming to go outside because he said he saw me fall, it was his and Lalli’s bedtime. Mom and Dad were fired up mad – according to DJ – until he ran between them and ran straight to the azalea bushes and started pulling me out. As soon as they realized it wasn’t a joke and that I wasn’t waking up they rushed me to the walk-in clinic. I landed on an acorn cap and it stabbed me in the head and dinged my skull. I had a concussion and from that day forward Lalli would say I was like I was because God dropped me on my head … but only when Mom and Dad weren’t around.” I laughed.
“You telling me the truth or a story?”
“The truth,” I laughed. I showed him the four white hairs that I normally plucked out when they got long enough to show. “Unlike the rest of my hair these are straight as a board and nearly sharp as porcupine quills. Probably scared straight.”
He just shook his head. “And here I thought you only started using up your nine lives recently.” Finally he grinned. “You hungry?”
“Just about starving,” I said returning his grin.
He surprised me by taking my hand and pulling me along. That was something new.
Texican
Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
Throwing up on a carnival ride is part of growing up.
Now Ava and Em going dancing is just grand. Who would have thought?
Thanks Kathy for the chapter and it is after midnight.
Watching old westerns from the 1930's with the DW and these old westerns are so much fun.
Texican....
Now Ava and Em going dancing is just grand. Who would have thought?
Thanks Kathy for the chapter and it is after midnight.
Watching old westerns from the 1930's with the DW and these old westerns are so much fun.
Texican....
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Much thanks in all your business. We got the rest of the conduit in for the ele. to the barn yesterday. Now for the wire but it's very windy and started to snow this morning. Might be an inside day.
In the upper 80s here. My goodness.
Lake Lili
Veteran Member
You too!?! We had a 36-hour blizzard... got a good foot of snow... down to only an inch or two now... these Spring snow storms do mess up the gardening schedule.
Griz3752
Retired, practising Curmudgeon
Apologies are not required Kathy
Anyone whose ever had anything to do w/ property mgt totally understands the issues you were facing.
It is very nice that you remembered us though -- this returning gift opens up another little developing thread, one I've been waiting on; like AVA needed more complexity in her day-to-day, right?
Stay healthy Ma'am & THX
Anyone whose ever had anything to do w/ property mgt totally understands the issues you were facing.
It is very nice that you remembered us though -- this returning gift opens up another little developing thread, one I've been waiting on; like AVA needed more complexity in her day-to-day, right?
Stay healthy Ma'am & THX
Happy Anniversary to me and hubby! Thirty-two years married today and add another four of dating for a total of 36. Took a couple of days and we are here on Daytona Beach. I'm looking out at the waves from our balcony waiting on hubby to shave and dress. Will tell you about the mini-vacay later. Gonna post this in case there's no time later.
-------------------------
Chapter 59
“Ava … don’t argue about this please.”
I sighed and looked at Em. “This is … just … too close to that line we walk around but don’t talk about.”
Trying to play silly he grinned and said, “No it isn’t. It’s a crawfish and crab boudin.”
“Em I …” I didn’t get to finish my objection because he shoved a piece of boudin in my mouth. After swallowing I said, “Play fair.”
He smiled big enough to show his teeth. “No.”
“Seriously …”
“Seriously. You gonna let me pay tonight. That’s final. Annnnd before you start thinking of some way to twist this around in your head and say I’m just paying you back you can stop. I’m doing this because I want to and because right now, in this point in time, I can. Might not be true at some other point down the road so we’re gonna leave down the road where it is … along with all those other things we’ve said is down the road.”
“You don’t ask for much do you?” I asked him so tempted to take him up on his offer I surprised myself.
“Sure I do. But that’s only ‘cause I know you Ava Thibodaux. And we’re gonna try and have us some fun. So come on. Help me eat this and let’s go on to the next thing.”
Giving in and finally starting to grin I asked, “And that would be?”
“Some fried crawfish, bacon wrapped corn on the cob, a basket of fried pickles, a red velvet funnel cake, a slice of deep friend pecan pie on a stick, some habanero peanut brittle, and …”
He just kept naming stuff from all the food trucks around us and my stomach was already hurting. Whether it was from him being funny or the idea of eating all that stuff in one night I’m not sure. ‘Course you know how it goes, you’re having a good time and someone has to come along and show their butt.”
“Emerick, has she been drinking?”
I turned and big as life there stood Wylene Boudreaux all decked out in what she obviously must consider her undercover get up. “Oh hi, Trooper Boudreaux!” I say nearly yelling to be heard over the music that is blaring out of the speakers at the Himalaya ride. “No! I haven’t been drinking! It’s just so loud that I gotta …!”
Em is looking like he’s having some kind of fit. I mean he’s leaning over and all but shoving his fist in his mouth. ‘Course it might have to do with so many people looking at who I was shouting at and quickly sliding off in another direction.
“Hey Em! Looks like the walkway cleared out finally. And maybe we should get something else to drink. I don’t guess Trooper Boudreaux can tell the difference between Mango Tea and Beer. I mean you think she would if she’s gonna go undercover and …” I squawk when Em grabs me by the belt and pushes me along a little faster than I was ready for. ‘Course I won’t hold it against him as he was still trying to laugh and breathe at the same time.
It takes another five minutes for Em to get himself under control. He still looks like he is having some kind of fit as he leans up against a sign giving directions to find the Fried Macaroni vendor or the Crawfish Races. He was finally able to draw a full breath when Zeb walks up, takes one look at Em, and then asks me, “Ava, what did you do this time?”
Of course all that does is set Em off again. “Dat gum Zeb! He was finally winding down, now look it!”
Em is holding his side and starting to wheeze and slide down to the ground. I shook my head and went to catch him before he went all the way down. “I wasn’t that funny.” I get a good look who was with Zeb and nearly let Em go down again.
“Why Denise Piccolo, as I live and breathe!” I said using the most saccharine sweet southern accent I could put on.
Denise just laughed and smiled. “Same ol’ Ava.”
I nodded and went back to talking semi-normal. “Same ol’ Ava. I thought I heard you were in DC.”
“Was. My brother was temporarily assigned to New Orleans and now he is assigned to a hospital here.”
I looked at Zeb and mouthed, “Hospital?”
He shrugged and told me on the side while Denise was yakking at Em, “They’re building and staffing one up near the Interstate to help with troop … er …” He shrugged again. “The personnel carriers will offload troops that might not make it to the next stop to get them stabilized and then they’ll transport them down the road a little further.”
I wanted to ask more but another couple showed up distracting me. Mona and a guy named Pete that I knew was a cop that worked with Daniel Edgar.
Pete asked, “You two been drinking?”
Growing a little irritated I asked, “Why does everyone keep asking that? We’re just laughing.”
Zeb looks at me funny. “Uh … Ava?”
“What?”
“You haven’t told them?”
I sighed and said, “No.”
“Know what?” Em asks because he is a big ol’ nosey gator.
I threw my hands up and groused, “I’m allergic to beer.”
“You’re …?”
More than a little embarrassed I explained, “Yeah. And for your information once was all it took. We were fourteen and Landes Sexton brought a beer to a party and we all took a drink just to prove what hot snots we were. Before midnight rolled around I was covered in hives and puking my guts up. So … no beer for me. We done here? ‘Cause you said …”
“Wait … are you serious? You’re allergic to beer?!” Mona asked like she was sure I was joking. “Good Lord, you’re as strange as Em.”
Zeb and Denise both being oh so helpful said, “Yeah.” Denise added, “I nearly got grounded for life because the party was at my house.”
Embarrassment quickly changed to aggravation. “Thanks guys. Go have fun or something will you?”
Zeb looks confused but Denise grinned and said, “You gotta admit, it is kinda weird.”
“This from the girl that accidentally dyed her hair pink our freshman year? Or was that some other cheerleader that looked like Strawberry Shortcake for most of a semester?”
Zeb looked daggers at me but Denise just laughed. See it was a little-known secret that Denise had done it to irritate her mother and sister because they’d picked some gawd-awful dress for her to wear in the family picture for Christmas that year. Denise didn’t really have near the number of accidents as most people thought … more like accidentally-on-purpose accidents.
The crowd was starting to grow so our little party broke up. Em and I walked over towards one of the food trucks and he asked, “So … you’re really allergic to beer.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. And yes I know it is stupid but there you have it.”
“You ate that beer can chicken Momma L fixed the other night.”
“That’s ‘cause the beer was cooked.”
“Er …”
“I’m allergic to the malted barley. Regular barley doesn’t bother me but something about malted barely just turns nasty for me. Unless the beer gets cooked … like beer can chicken, beer bread, beer battered fish, stuff like that. And I can drink wine and most other liquors. And before your knickers get in a knot, the reason I know is because they had to test me to make sure that I didn’t have some kind of alcohol intolerance syndrome that would mean I had to wear a medi-bracelet, not because I was a pre-teen alcoholic.”
After a minute he asks, “That all you’re allergic to?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I’m allergic to latex.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why you wear nitrile gloves.”
“Did Mona say something?” he asked all embarrassed.
“No. And why would I listen to her anyway? When I was helping you load you truck once, you got mad because Franc had put latex gloves in your truck cab and you went and exchanged them for those blue nitrile ones. I just figured it wasn’t because you liked the color blue.”
“Er …”
Figuring I should just clear the air and let him know that Mona couldn’t get to me I said, my voice about an octave higher than normal, “And since we’re on the subject of possibilities down the line I figure a guy who is allergic to latex might have … you know … latex allergies … for other … er … things and … I figure … oh my Lord …this is not a subject up for discussion but I figure I better take the bull by the horns … I’ll take care of what needs taking care of … assuming it comes to that … and Mona is a female dog for trying to tease you about it … and now that’s out of the way let’s change the subject … ‘cause I’m like running out of air here trying not to say the word condom. Dang it … I said it anyway. Don’t pass out or nothing ‘cause I’m not up to explaining why to your friendly neighborhood undercover cops. ‘K?”
Em just looks at me and I’m beginning to wonder if he heard what I said then he surprises the heck out of me by being real normal and just nodding his head. “Sounds like a plan. Red Velvet Funnel cake or Deep Fried Pecan Pie?”
I’m debating having a break down then figure what the heck and said, “You get one, I’ll get the other and we’ll share.”
He shows his teeth again which lets me know he’s fine. Then he says, “Hmmm. But let’s try and keep this healthy by adding some protein in there. I say we split an order of Praline-covered Bacon and we’ll take our Iced Tea unsweetened this time.”
Trying to add some of my own silly in to let him know I’m feeling fine too I grouse, “Going on a diet all of a sudden?”
Shaking his head sadly he responds, “Naw, you’re right. We’ll get some blackberry tea and that should offset the rest.”
Oh my goodness I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in a long time if ever. And after we ate – and there was fried crawfish in there somewhere – we went to go dance.
##### ##### #####
“Oh … my … GAWD! Ava why didn’t I know you could dance?!!”
“Geez Denise, turn it down,” I laughed. “We all have our hidden talents.”
Zeb looked like his universe had shifted and Em was looking way too satisfied.
“But seriously. You could have put Bunny Traynor to shame with those moves. Girl you could have been on the Cheer Squad!”
“Ugh. Nope. Just nope.”
“Do you go dancing much?”
“Have to say this was the first time.”
“Then …?”
“Then what?”
“Where’d you learn? I mean nobody from school would believe me even if I had pictures!”
Shrugging I said, “My mom and dad would get silly on occasion. I remember the music and then … you know … Youtube and stuff,” I said, refusing to share my dance lessons at Miss Loper’s since it would bring up other stuff I didn’t want to talk about.
“Teach me.”
“Er …”
“C’mon. It’ll be fun.”
“It’ll be mayhem inducing. Who are you trying to drive nuts now?”
“Oh … er …”
Then I saw it on Zeb’s face. “Oh Gawd … she’s not coming here is she?”
Zeb wasn’t the one answering. Denise said, “She might. My mother might show up too. Either/or … or maybe both … I’d prefer to have the ammo ahead of time.”
I said, “Let me think about it. I don’t want any part of a blood feud starting.”
“I don’t either,” she said. “But a little irritation and misdirection could go a long way into getting them to back off. And Zeb, it’s not like I want to or anything, but we better get going or Mark might decide he isn’t going to help me escape Mother after all.”
Zeb nearly panics. “Oh crap! C’mon. He’ll be at the gate before we can get there if we don’t hurry.”
They were gone without even saying good bye.
Em shoves an empty red solo cup into an already stuffed full trashcan. “Probably a good idea for us to be clearing out too. I heard no one was real happy they were going to be breaking lights out this weekend. Especially with the out of towners that have showed up. Good for business and the tax man, bad for keeping the peace. You gonna bite my head off if I put my arm around you?”
“Em …”
“Cause that’s all I plan on doing.”
Caught between a serious subject and not wanting him to take my answer the wrong way I tell him, “You know I trust you. But do you really want stories getting back to Mona? She was itching for a fight tonight but got distracted from it.”
He sighed. “Noticed that did you?”
“Yeah. And no, I’m not jealous. But I do like my peace and quiet when I’m lucky enough to get it and … I don’t go looking to cutting it up on purpose. There’s too many people around here that like to gossip and carry stories. And some of them stories might make it to Auntie’s ears as well.”
He sighed. “You know it’s downright sad when a man has to use commonsense.”
I chuckled. “Well don’t act like it is a crime.”
“It isn’t … but in this case it comes close. Can I at least get a raincheck?”
I rolled my rolled my eyes then grinned. “I reckon.”
Em grinned a happy grin reminding me of the blue tick hound that lives down the block. “Yehaw. Let’s get some Deep Fried Oreos before we go.”
“How is it possible you are still hungry?!” I laugh. And laugh and laugh as we get the deep friend diabetic coma in the making as well as a couple of candied apples and some – help me please – deep fried butter on a stick and a doughnut burger to split. I swear we nearly burst before we made it to bed.
-------------------------
Chapter 59
“Ava … don’t argue about this please.”
I sighed and looked at Em. “This is … just … too close to that line we walk around but don’t talk about.”
Trying to play silly he grinned and said, “No it isn’t. It’s a crawfish and crab boudin.”
“Em I …” I didn’t get to finish my objection because he shoved a piece of boudin in my mouth. After swallowing I said, “Play fair.”
He smiled big enough to show his teeth. “No.”
“Seriously …”
“Seriously. You gonna let me pay tonight. That’s final. Annnnd before you start thinking of some way to twist this around in your head and say I’m just paying you back you can stop. I’m doing this because I want to and because right now, in this point in time, I can. Might not be true at some other point down the road so we’re gonna leave down the road where it is … along with all those other things we’ve said is down the road.”
“You don’t ask for much do you?” I asked him so tempted to take him up on his offer I surprised myself.
“Sure I do. But that’s only ‘cause I know you Ava Thibodaux. And we’re gonna try and have us some fun. So come on. Help me eat this and let’s go on to the next thing.”
Giving in and finally starting to grin I asked, “And that would be?”
“Some fried crawfish, bacon wrapped corn on the cob, a basket of fried pickles, a red velvet funnel cake, a slice of deep friend pecan pie on a stick, some habanero peanut brittle, and …”
He just kept naming stuff from all the food trucks around us and my stomach was already hurting. Whether it was from him being funny or the idea of eating all that stuff in one night I’m not sure. ‘Course you know how it goes, you’re having a good time and someone has to come along and show their butt.”
“Emerick, has she been drinking?”
I turned and big as life there stood Wylene Boudreaux all decked out in what she obviously must consider her undercover get up. “Oh hi, Trooper Boudreaux!” I say nearly yelling to be heard over the music that is blaring out of the speakers at the Himalaya ride. “No! I haven’t been drinking! It’s just so loud that I gotta …!”
Em is looking like he’s having some kind of fit. I mean he’s leaning over and all but shoving his fist in his mouth. ‘Course it might have to do with so many people looking at who I was shouting at and quickly sliding off in another direction.
“Hey Em! Looks like the walkway cleared out finally. And maybe we should get something else to drink. I don’t guess Trooper Boudreaux can tell the difference between Mango Tea and Beer. I mean you think she would if she’s gonna go undercover and …” I squawk when Em grabs me by the belt and pushes me along a little faster than I was ready for. ‘Course I won’t hold it against him as he was still trying to laugh and breathe at the same time.
It takes another five minutes for Em to get himself under control. He still looks like he is having some kind of fit as he leans up against a sign giving directions to find the Fried Macaroni vendor or the Crawfish Races. He was finally able to draw a full breath when Zeb walks up, takes one look at Em, and then asks me, “Ava, what did you do this time?”
Of course all that does is set Em off again. “Dat gum Zeb! He was finally winding down, now look it!”
Em is holding his side and starting to wheeze and slide down to the ground. I shook my head and went to catch him before he went all the way down. “I wasn’t that funny.” I get a good look who was with Zeb and nearly let Em go down again.
“Why Denise Piccolo, as I live and breathe!” I said using the most saccharine sweet southern accent I could put on.
Denise just laughed and smiled. “Same ol’ Ava.”
I nodded and went back to talking semi-normal. “Same ol’ Ava. I thought I heard you were in DC.”
“Was. My brother was temporarily assigned to New Orleans and now he is assigned to a hospital here.”
I looked at Zeb and mouthed, “Hospital?”
He shrugged and told me on the side while Denise was yakking at Em, “They’re building and staffing one up near the Interstate to help with troop … er …” He shrugged again. “The personnel carriers will offload troops that might not make it to the next stop to get them stabilized and then they’ll transport them down the road a little further.”
I wanted to ask more but another couple showed up distracting me. Mona and a guy named Pete that I knew was a cop that worked with Daniel Edgar.
Pete asked, “You two been drinking?”
Growing a little irritated I asked, “Why does everyone keep asking that? We’re just laughing.”
Zeb looks at me funny. “Uh … Ava?”
“What?”
“You haven’t told them?”
I sighed and said, “No.”
“Know what?” Em asks because he is a big ol’ nosey gator.
I threw my hands up and groused, “I’m allergic to beer.”
“You’re …?”
More than a little embarrassed I explained, “Yeah. And for your information once was all it took. We were fourteen and Landes Sexton brought a beer to a party and we all took a drink just to prove what hot snots we were. Before midnight rolled around I was covered in hives and puking my guts up. So … no beer for me. We done here? ‘Cause you said …”
“Wait … are you serious? You’re allergic to beer?!” Mona asked like she was sure I was joking. “Good Lord, you’re as strange as Em.”
Zeb and Denise both being oh so helpful said, “Yeah.” Denise added, “I nearly got grounded for life because the party was at my house.”
Embarrassment quickly changed to aggravation. “Thanks guys. Go have fun or something will you?”
Zeb looks confused but Denise grinned and said, “You gotta admit, it is kinda weird.”
“This from the girl that accidentally dyed her hair pink our freshman year? Or was that some other cheerleader that looked like Strawberry Shortcake for most of a semester?”
Zeb looked daggers at me but Denise just laughed. See it was a little-known secret that Denise had done it to irritate her mother and sister because they’d picked some gawd-awful dress for her to wear in the family picture for Christmas that year. Denise didn’t really have near the number of accidents as most people thought … more like accidentally-on-purpose accidents.
The crowd was starting to grow so our little party broke up. Em and I walked over towards one of the food trucks and he asked, “So … you’re really allergic to beer.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. And yes I know it is stupid but there you have it.”
“You ate that beer can chicken Momma L fixed the other night.”
“That’s ‘cause the beer was cooked.”
“Er …”
“I’m allergic to the malted barley. Regular barley doesn’t bother me but something about malted barely just turns nasty for me. Unless the beer gets cooked … like beer can chicken, beer bread, beer battered fish, stuff like that. And I can drink wine and most other liquors. And before your knickers get in a knot, the reason I know is because they had to test me to make sure that I didn’t have some kind of alcohol intolerance syndrome that would mean I had to wear a medi-bracelet, not because I was a pre-teen alcoholic.”
After a minute he asks, “That all you’re allergic to?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I’m allergic to latex.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why you wear nitrile gloves.”
“Did Mona say something?” he asked all embarrassed.
“No. And why would I listen to her anyway? When I was helping you load you truck once, you got mad because Franc had put latex gloves in your truck cab and you went and exchanged them for those blue nitrile ones. I just figured it wasn’t because you liked the color blue.”
“Er …”
Figuring I should just clear the air and let him know that Mona couldn’t get to me I said, my voice about an octave higher than normal, “And since we’re on the subject of possibilities down the line I figure a guy who is allergic to latex might have … you know … latex allergies … for other … er … things and … I figure … oh my Lord …this is not a subject up for discussion but I figure I better take the bull by the horns … I’ll take care of what needs taking care of … assuming it comes to that … and Mona is a female dog for trying to tease you about it … and now that’s out of the way let’s change the subject … ‘cause I’m like running out of air here trying not to say the word condom. Dang it … I said it anyway. Don’t pass out or nothing ‘cause I’m not up to explaining why to your friendly neighborhood undercover cops. ‘K?”
Em just looks at me and I’m beginning to wonder if he heard what I said then he surprises the heck out of me by being real normal and just nodding his head. “Sounds like a plan. Red Velvet Funnel cake or Deep Fried Pecan Pie?”
I’m debating having a break down then figure what the heck and said, “You get one, I’ll get the other and we’ll share.”
He shows his teeth again which lets me know he’s fine. Then he says, “Hmmm. But let’s try and keep this healthy by adding some protein in there. I say we split an order of Praline-covered Bacon and we’ll take our Iced Tea unsweetened this time.”
Trying to add some of my own silly in to let him know I’m feeling fine too I grouse, “Going on a diet all of a sudden?”
Shaking his head sadly he responds, “Naw, you’re right. We’ll get some blackberry tea and that should offset the rest.”
Oh my goodness I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in a long time if ever. And after we ate – and there was fried crawfish in there somewhere – we went to go dance.
##### ##### #####
“Oh … my … GAWD! Ava why didn’t I know you could dance?!!”
“Geez Denise, turn it down,” I laughed. “We all have our hidden talents.”
Zeb looked like his universe had shifted and Em was looking way too satisfied.
“But seriously. You could have put Bunny Traynor to shame with those moves. Girl you could have been on the Cheer Squad!”
“Ugh. Nope. Just nope.”
“Do you go dancing much?”
“Have to say this was the first time.”
“Then …?”
“Then what?”
“Where’d you learn? I mean nobody from school would believe me even if I had pictures!”
Shrugging I said, “My mom and dad would get silly on occasion. I remember the music and then … you know … Youtube and stuff,” I said, refusing to share my dance lessons at Miss Loper’s since it would bring up other stuff I didn’t want to talk about.
“Teach me.”
“Er …”
“C’mon. It’ll be fun.”
“It’ll be mayhem inducing. Who are you trying to drive nuts now?”
“Oh … er …”
Then I saw it on Zeb’s face. “Oh Gawd … she’s not coming here is she?”
Zeb wasn’t the one answering. Denise said, “She might. My mother might show up too. Either/or … or maybe both … I’d prefer to have the ammo ahead of time.”
I said, “Let me think about it. I don’t want any part of a blood feud starting.”
“I don’t either,” she said. “But a little irritation and misdirection could go a long way into getting them to back off. And Zeb, it’s not like I want to or anything, but we better get going or Mark might decide he isn’t going to help me escape Mother after all.”
Zeb nearly panics. “Oh crap! C’mon. He’ll be at the gate before we can get there if we don’t hurry.”
They were gone without even saying good bye.
Em shoves an empty red solo cup into an already stuffed full trashcan. “Probably a good idea for us to be clearing out too. I heard no one was real happy they were going to be breaking lights out this weekend. Especially with the out of towners that have showed up. Good for business and the tax man, bad for keeping the peace. You gonna bite my head off if I put my arm around you?”
“Em …”
“Cause that’s all I plan on doing.”
Caught between a serious subject and not wanting him to take my answer the wrong way I tell him, “You know I trust you. But do you really want stories getting back to Mona? She was itching for a fight tonight but got distracted from it.”
He sighed. “Noticed that did you?”
“Yeah. And no, I’m not jealous. But I do like my peace and quiet when I’m lucky enough to get it and … I don’t go looking to cutting it up on purpose. There’s too many people around here that like to gossip and carry stories. And some of them stories might make it to Auntie’s ears as well.”
He sighed. “You know it’s downright sad when a man has to use commonsense.”
I chuckled. “Well don’t act like it is a crime.”
“It isn’t … but in this case it comes close. Can I at least get a raincheck?”
I rolled my rolled my eyes then grinned. “I reckon.”
Em grinned a happy grin reminding me of the blue tick hound that lives down the block. “Yehaw. Let’s get some Deep Fried Oreos before we go.”
“How is it possible you are still hungry?!” I laugh. And laugh and laugh as we get the deep friend diabetic coma in the making as well as a couple of candied apples and some – help me please – deep fried butter on a stick and a doughnut burger to split. I swear we nearly burst before we made it to bed.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Came back inside from working to this, thank you. Happy Anniversary.
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