Wait. They’re drinking wood alcohol and Red Bull? AND eating Snickers?
It’s a clue as to problems that seem to come from nowhere I tell you!
At one point demand for hand sanitizer was so high it was authorized to be made from ethyl Alcohol
Wait. They’re drinking wood alcohol and Red Bull? AND eating Snickers?
It’s a clue as to problems that seem to come from nowhere I tell you!
How? It's voluntary, not compulsory. I'd donate to the admin alcohol (aa?) fund.Communist!
OK, here's the progression that leads to rants.
Conversations that go something like this...
=========
My car won't start.
What kind is it?
My last car was a (whatever) that wouldn't start if the remote battery was dead.
Is your remote battery dead on this car?
I don't know.
Click the unlock button...
Well, did you click it?
Yes
What happened
I don't know, the car is in the garage.
Do the lights stay normal when you try to start it.
Don't know, they come on automatically when it starts.
(from another member) Look in the cup holder, there is a little rubber flap, open that and stick the remote in and try to start it.
Which cup holder, there are six in it
....and so on.
================
My computer won't come on.
Does it have power?
Not sure, the ceiling fan works.
Do the lights come on.
Only two out of three...Do you know where I can get ceiling fan bulbs with the small screw in thingee?
(sigh) Is it a laptop or desktop?
It's a Dell.
==============
My A/C won't come on.
Did you check the breaker?
Which breaker is it?
FOR F's SAKE! HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW, HOLD YOUR DAMN COMPUTER CLOSER SO I CAN SEE IT! (double facepalm)
Does the fan come on?
I can't turn it on, the screen on the t-stat is not on.
=====================
And you wonder why we are on our third shot of tequila before the second cup of coffee is finished.
So...
Someone who is consistently starting conversations like the ones above...they ask a question in a thread.
Not just any question, but one that has been answered 50 times in the last year, twice in the last week and once in the thread where they asked it.
By then, we are twitching and going into convulsions like a dayum epileptic starting a Grand Mal seizure.
(I'm sure someone will tell me that their ex-husband's, step sister's cousin suffered from something that ain't epilepsy...but still, you shouldn't make fun of epileptics)
After two more shots of tequila...barely enough to calm the tremors...We spin a bearing and their ass gets raked over the coals.
At that point, they get all butt-hurt and ask why you are being such a dick, "I just asked a simple question".
THAT is why it happens.
And armadillos carry leprosy
Too many side effects, for me.Staff rant sounds like something you need a prescription cream from a doctor for.
Staffrantisporin---ask your doctor if it's right for you.
Put me in time out if I ever post asking if anyone knows where I put my keys.
Getting them drunker won't help.How? It's voluntary, not compulsory. I'd donate to the admin alcohol (aa?) fund.
That depends. Are we talking air popped, oil popped, or microwave popped? With hulls or hull-less. White or yellow?NOT enough popcorn for where THIS thread is headed!!
That depends. Are we talking air popped, oil popped, or microwave popped? With hulls or hull-less. White or yellow?
Gosh, did I come at a bad time?
#tiptoestoanotherthread
Sorry, that's back ordered.Oil
Yellow
Real butter
Himalayan salt
Chili powder
Paprika
A sprinkle of soy sauce
You asked.
Put me in time out if I ever post asking if anyone knows where I put my keys.
Wait until you hear what my last job did to me:
I got picked to go do a pee test for about 12 months in a row. I was the ONLY person they could count on that they knew didn't do drugs.
I took the bus a lot there, so I usually had to take the company car. I finally complained and they stopped it.
Wait. They’re drinking wood alcohol and Red Bull? AND eating Snickers?
It’s a clue as to problems that seem to come from nowhere I tell you!
You have my utmost admiration for not shooting them.Sounds like you’ve been talking to some of our tenants.
Hello?
Yes, my front porch light is out.
Is it the light or the bulb.
I don’t know.
Try changing the bulb and then let us know.
What kind of bulb.
A. Light. Bulb.
Fine, but I’m taking it out of my rent.
If we have to make a maintenance visit and it is because you didn’t change the light bulb we’ll be charging you.
Fine. I’ll try that.
[Next day.]
I told you my porch light is broken.
You tried changing the bulb?
Yes. It isn’t the bulb.
Okay, when will someone be home?
I’m home right now.
Tomorrow. There are work orders ahead of yours.
Fine. But when you send the maintenance guy out make sure he comes with the van. I need some help with my car.
Your lease does not include maintenance on your vehicle, only on the rental unit.
Well my car rolled into the front door and now I can’t get it to move and can’t use my front door. My front door is part of my rental unit.
Excuse me? Did you say you hit your rental unit with your car?
Isn’t that what I just said? That’s probably why the front porch light won’t work.
———————
And the above is an actual conversation I had a couple of months ago. Someone pass the [insert cocktail of your choice]. People are idiots.
Yes. Yes it will.Getting them drunker won't help.
Somebody is using every bit of self control to suppress a rant that would make Gordon Ramsay look like Mr. Rogers.
Sounds like you’ve been talking to some of our tenants.
Hello?
Yes, my front porch light is out.
Is it the light or the bulb.
I don’t know.
Try changing the bulb and then let us know.
What kind of bulb.
A. Light. Bulb.
Fine, but I’m taking it out of my rent.
If we have to make a maintenance visit and it is because you didn’t change the light bulb we’ll be charging you.
Fine. I’ll try that.
[Next day.]
I told you my porch light is broken.
You tried changing the bulb?
Yes. It isn’t the bulb.
Okay, when will someone be home?
I’m home right now.
Tomorrow. There are work orders ahead of yours.
Fine. But when you send the maintenance guy out make sure he comes with the van. I need some help with my car.
Your lease does not include maintenance on your vehicle, only on the rental unit.
Well my car rolled into the front door and now I can’t get it to move and can’t use my front door. My front door is part of my rental unit.
Excuse me? Did you say you hit your rental unit with your car?
Isn’t that what I just said? That’s probably why the front porch light won’t work.
———————
And the above is an actual conversation I had a couple of months ago. Someone pass the [insert cocktail of your choice]. People are idiots.
Dang, a new day and he is still going....Didn't you sleep?A few peeps are unable to read between the lines.
When multiple explanations become very short, followed by this...
Somebody is using every bit of self control to suppress a rant that would make Gordon Ramsay look like Mr. Rogers.
Depends? I didn’t think we were talking about Biden….That depends. Are we talking air popped, oil popped, or microwave popped? With hulls or hull-less. White or yellow?
Ya know I thought the same thing.Staff rant sounds like something you need a prescription cream from a doctor for.
Staffrantisporin---ask your doctor if it's right for you.
I thought one could get leprosy from armadillos.Who else is in the mood for flapjacks, right now ?
Prolly go great with armadillo sausage…..
That's a groaner.Depends? I didn’t think we were talking about Biden….
If you slap a little mayo on them, the risk goes down by at least 30%...I thought one could get leprosy from armadillos.
Well, someone needs a good slap but I'm not sure it's an armadillo.If you slap a little mayo on them, the risk goes down by at least 30%...
Ass…If you slap a little mayo on them, the risk goes down by at least 30%...