Profit of Doom
Dismember
There is a companion to this...
CHAT I'm noticing that some folks here seem to be going BEYOND the ragged edge of self-control
- Thread starter Dennis Olson
- Start date
agmfan3
Veteran Member
I'm coming back from the edge of being depressed. Not really the crap in the world, but it was getting tossed from my job of 19 years like a piece of trash. I really struggled with that. They always played the Christian, we are a family card, but in the end none of it is true, couldn't even tell us all to our face. At least they had to pay all my vacation and sick time that I had banked. I will say this, if I wasn't in a union I would not have gotten it, the union rep told them he was going to file a suit if they didn't pay. Now I hope they follow through with making them remove the union bug from all advertisements.
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Firm and symmetrical preferred.
Hfcomms
EN66iq
So, you wanem store bought not homegrown....
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Distant cousin to the yellow-bellied sapsucker.Out of pink. How about a bluefoot boobie?
Mother Nature rarely does anything symmetrical. Surgeons, however, are paid to.
jazzy
Advocate Discernment
the world is full of bad mean stupid that can really get to us inside and out. sometimes we need to do something simple like grab a beer, some junk food of choice and settle in for a healing session of frustration venting anger melting funny stupid laugh-yer-butt-off.....
THREE STOOGES MARATHON!!!!!!
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1YXMYjPYfc&list=PL21m2qFVm0Kwy7XlXwObK1I8ZVV-S5p-Z
we cant afford to forget how to laugh at the stupid, it can save ones sanity.
THREE STOOGES MARATHON!!!!!!
we cant afford to forget how to laugh at the stupid, it can save ones sanity.
Marthanoir
TB Fanatic
Why do you have a yearly tax return system for individuals,
Wouldn't it be easier to have a deduct from source "pay as you earn" system
Intestinal Fortitude
Have Faith
so that everyone can feel the heel of the gov on their neck - yearly
Swampdweller
Senior Member
It’s usually the right one.
AlfaMan
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Yes, we all need to stay grey and head on a swivel in these times. But it wears you down.
Today I had an absolutely wonderful impromptu stress reliever. And it was needed.
I had an inspection today in a college town in southern VA. Across the parking lot from my assignment was about 25 very good looking college age women doing what looked like a cross between yoga, crossfit and stripper training..........All wearing tight and very form fitting yoga pants (mmm-yoga pants!) and equally skin tight tank tops. May have been cheerleader practice for all I know. It was a welcome diversion and I completely forgot about the world's problems. Their gyrations alone made me forget about everything, good Lord they were all so cute! Watched for about 10 minutes or so-it did wonders for my disposition.
Theres' a lot of ugly in the world today. But don't forget that God stocked this planet with all kinds of beauty-human, plant, animal. Take a minute or two and seek out beauty in all its' forms, It's good for you!
SpokaneMan
Veteran Member
Hey, I gotta a big ol' jar of Viagra.there are more than a few here that needs something stiff, but not necessarily a drink.
SpokaneMan
Veteran Member
I am purchasing a flight to D.C as I speak. Care to take me on a tour AlfaMan?
lakemom
Veteran Member
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A BATH:
METHOD #1: CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART
1. Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
5. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
7. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
METHOD #2: FLUSH 'N FLUFF
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power wash and rinse' which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The Dog
Jeff B.
Don’t let the Piss Ants get you down…
You wouldn't like me in an decaffeinated state...
or would like me even less.
There are times I wonder if TB2K is something like a mirror on the wall... cause there are dang sure some folks that post stuff that I've thought or been thinking!
Jeff B.
David Nettleton
Veteran Member
In retrospect I tally up all the deep state has done to us and our President in the last four years, we're still here and expecting more attacks with even more resolve to see this to its' conclusion. TB2K is empowering!
MinnesotaSmith
Membership Revoked
There are times I wonder if TB2K is something like a mirror on the wall... cause there are dang sure some folks that post stuff that I've thought or been thinking!
Jeff B.
The trick is, scheduling the day to transition from coffee to bourbon...and not letting work interfere.
Bps1691
Veteran Member
They do. Both the States and Federals withhold taxes on every paycheck and on many other types of income.
BUT, they've futzed with the tax tables so much that it isn't that uncommon to have to write them a check at the end of the tax year to pay what their screwed up tax tables didn't take out.
I refuse to loan them money without interest, so I make sure its as close to break even (withheld vs. what will be owed) by checking each quarter and futzing with my W4 that we always owe them a small amount when we file.
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Bps1691
Veteran Member
Note to self....
Mazophilia is NOT a sign of the over stress and people being on the ragged edge from the current craziness
... it is just typical male behavior
No,give it a bath.
What about the creators of bread?On the other hand, now is a great time for a mini meltdown. Take a day, revel in it, let it squish up between your toes-
..take a hot shower, put some sundried sheets on the bed, sleep it off..
You'll be good as new in the morning
(just avoid caffeine and bread. They are evil)
I don't usually think of feet when I think of boobies. Just sayin....Out of pink. How about a bluefoot boobie?
Nothing would ever get done without the last minute.
TheSearcher
Are you sure about that?
Perhaps you should reconsider, sir.
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mzkitty
I give up.
How to bathe a cat. I once did 10 cats in an afternoon, because my roommate and I got a flea infestation. Trust me.
1. Roll a giant doobie. Puff it all over the bathroom.
2. Pick up cat, bring into bathroom and shut the door. Put cat in empty tub. Cat will jump out.
3. While cat is getting a buzz, run some lukewarm water into the tub. Not much. Put cat in tub. Cat will jump out. Don't blast the water. Cats don't like that.
4. Run a little more warm water in tub while cat gets more buzzed. Talk soothingly. Put cat in tub. Water should be about 6" deep. Hold cat and continue to talk calmly while you put flea shampoo in ring around neck. Work your way down.
5. You have previously filled some plastic pitchers with warm water before cat bath started. Grab one and pour over cat. Splash water from tub up under kitty private parts. Pour more water on cat. If all the soap is out, take a fluffy towel and wrap around cat.
6. You should be done with no damage to either of you.
7. Puff on more spliffs as need be for each cat you are doing. If you don't have any, I would think CBD in a pipe or joint would calm them down too.
1. Roll a giant doobie. Puff it all over the bathroom.
2. Pick up cat, bring into bathroom and shut the door. Put cat in empty tub. Cat will jump out.
3. While cat is getting a buzz, run some lukewarm water into the tub. Not much. Put cat in tub. Cat will jump out. Don't blast the water. Cats don't like that.
4. Run a little more warm water in tub while cat gets more buzzed. Talk soothingly. Put cat in tub. Water should be about 6" deep. Hold cat and continue to talk calmly while you put flea shampoo in ring around neck. Work your way down.
5. You have previously filled some plastic pitchers with warm water before cat bath started. Grab one and pour over cat. Splash water from tub up under kitty private parts. Pour more water on cat. If all the soap is out, take a fluffy towel and wrap around cat.
6. You should be done with no damage to either of you.
7. Puff on more spliffs as need be for each cat you are doing. If you don't have any, I would think CBD in a pipe or joint would calm them down too.
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West
Senior
And people who are their own bosses or self employed. We would pay quarterly but I would rather not. It's more paperwork and time. And don't make enough income to warrant it.
I've paid every year since 1989. Have paid as much as $4000 a quarter to only $1000 a year, like this last year.
Way back when...
When I was young I (we?) used to relieve stress by blowing things up. Never anything that didn't belong to me, but none the less, nothing more satisfying then a big boom lots of smoke and stuff scattered around.
Small town, lots of open space, never had any response by LE, it was just kids being kids.
The best was the Can in a Can launch. Need two empty metal cans, a firecracker, and a bit of water.
Metal coffee can had two inches of water in bottom. Take a second empty 16oz can, poke a hole in the bottom just big enough to hold a firecracker securely. Place the smaller 16 oz can upside down with just a little bit of the firecracker sticking above the bottom of the small can. Carefully place inside coffee can. The water makes a tight seal between the coffee can and the smaller can. When firecracker goes off that small can goes straight up 50'-70'.
ah the good old days.
When I was young I (we?) used to relieve stress by blowing things up. Never anything that didn't belong to me, but none the less, nothing more satisfying then a big boom lots of smoke and stuff scattered around.
Small town, lots of open space, never had any response by LE, it was just kids being kids.
The best was the Can in a Can launch. Need two empty metal cans, a firecracker, and a bit of water.
Metal coffee can had two inches of water in bottom. Take a second empty 16oz can, poke a hole in the bottom just big enough to hold a firecracker securely. Place the smaller 16 oz can upside down with just a little bit of the firecracker sticking above the bottom of the small can. Carefully place inside coffee can. The water makes a tight seal between the coffee can and the smaller can. When firecracker goes off that small can goes straight up 50'-70'.
ah the good old days.
West
Senior
What do you mean good old days?
We just had a blast doing just that you posted, and have forever. And then some more, way more..
Cabal
Pissed off Patriot
Dennis,
You know I've been here for a LONG time and I've seen a lot of doom and gloom and predictions over the years that never panned out, but I think you're spot on. Revolution is in the air and it seems like all pretense is being dropped. My gut tells me things will just kind of simmer until November and regardless of which party wins, it boils over either because of Trump's re-election and the sheer anger that will cause or if Biden wins, the radical left thinks their message won and they go all out on pushing their agendas outside the Liberal strongholds.
I even get a strange feeling here on TB2K... The Bomb Shelter is relatively quiet, everything is just quiet.
Pretty high tech. Wonder if the kids today could design it. We made pipe bombs. Used them to blow up wrecked autos at the town dump. Never occurred to us to blow up the school.
mzkitty
I give up.
Yes, in a way it is, outside of our brains, that is. We can't do much at this exact moment. So we are watching and waiting.
Watching and waiting is good too. I think we'll know when to jump.
I am very jealous!
ETA: We had fruit trees in our large backyard, peaches that were over-ripe and had fallen to the ground were gathered for our "wars".
Everyone had a metal garbage can lid as a shield.
Of course we were 11, 12, 13 yrs old at the time, were ate a lot of penny candy and used the candy wrappers as "juicy peach mush protectors" wrapping a firecracker in a candy wrapper before we inserted the firecrackers into the middle of an over-ripe peach.
When it was "on" we'd light them crackers and toss those peaches over the heads of the other side, hopefully to explode in the air over their heads. The lid was to shield the sweet sticky over-ripe peach guts from raining down. Oh mom hated those wars, she had to do the laundry.....
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et2
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Out of pink. How about a bluefoot boobie?
awesome. But if they’re blue your doing something wrong
West
Senior
Next time you come threw Oklahoma give me a call.