OP-ED Whatever happened to sticks and stones?

S

smokin

Veteran Member

Sticks and stones may break my bones, (but words can never hurt me)​

Idiom

A child's expression said in order to show that people cannot be hurt by unpleasant things that are said to them

Growing up as a child we were taught a saying to combat bullying and mean things said to us, or about us. Yes, bullying is nothing new. It has been going on forever as it is in our nature. I am sure lots of us have experienced it or know someone who has. There are the bullies, the bullied, and those who stand up to the bullies for themselves or to protect others. Maybe some can get through life without crossing paths with someone like this, but I doubt it.

In my opinion the saying was taught to us by our parents, schoolteachers, and elders so we wouldn't go around kicking everyone's ass every time they called us a name or made fun of our worn-out sneakers and such. I also believe it was to prepare us for a lifetime of criticism and rejection, up and downs, highs and lows. Life is hard, the world even harder, so toughen up buttercup.

I also believe it was a way to say that you shouldn't let whatever someone else says about you affect you too much. That you are to believe in yourself, be confident and strong, follow your own path. It also teaches you one very strong trait in life which is patience. Patience.......those few seconds before lashing out or saying "could you repeat that please."

Nowadays things are a little different. I just read a definition of this saying where it was quoted sticks and stone may break my bones, but words are irreparable. The news is awash with hate speech crimes. People are being arrested for words, and thoughts, and for not bowing down to the bullies. Some of the latest names in the news would be Dr. Jordan Petersen and author J.K Rowlings to name a few.

We went from trying to grow a strong human stock to coddling adults who are insulted someone didn't like their purple hair and pajamas. Not sure we will last too many more generations of this. Meanwhile my state Governor wants to remove some of the most historic mural paintings of our early history at the state capitol because some folks may find it offensive. Erasing history..........



 
W

willowlady

Veteran Member
I was raised on that saying, and it has stood me in good stead throughout my life. In order to be bullied or insulted by words, you have to internally accept that the words are truth. I just let nonsense roll off my back like water on a duck. I do tend to wonder what the insulter's objective if. Most often it's their own insecurities which manifest in arrogance, etc. Also, attempts to control. I had once insulter ask me if I understood the sexual innuendo in his words. I replied that of course I understood, but wasn't about to accept it is an insult, since it was merely an attempt to provoke a response. He responded that I was smarter than most girls...

Physical bullying is a whole different ballgame.
 
kyrsyan

kyrsyan

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Going to be honest, words can hurt. And that phrase has been used in a way that means that people can be abused and threatened verbally, at all levels, and yet not be allowed to physically retaliate. And that is why a lot of this verbal diarrhea is allowed to go on for so long. People can yell, threaten, abuse, etc all they want, as long as they don't touch you, and you are supposed to take it.

And then of course they do the flip side which is you aren't allowed to do the same to them because you are so scary.
 
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