The Golfing Nun

[Larred]

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting: "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?"

"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is that when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.

"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is that when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear then?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment.

Then Mother Superior sighed and asked, "You missed the f**king putt, didn't you?"

 

[kiki]

Funny, Darrel!!!!!

 

[Larred]

Thanks Kiki, I liked it, the punch line was not what I expected...



Darrel

 

[Fartacus]

I think I've posted this before, but since we're on the subject:


Two nuns walk into a liquor store and ask for a quart of Bushmill's Irish whiskey.

The proprietor of the store says, "Sisters, I'm not sure I should sell this to you."

One nun says, "Don't worry, son. It's strictly for laxative purposes."

The proprietor says, "I've never heard that use for whiskey before, but ok, if you say so." He sells the nuns the booze.

Later that night, he closes up shop and walks home.

He gets to a street corner and there are the two nuns, utterly gooned, hanging off a lamp post, drunkenly giggling, singing, and shouting a passing cars, clutching the nearly empty bottle of Bushmill's.

The proprietor says, "Sisters! I thought you said that liquor was 'strictly for laxative purposes!'"

One nun slurs, "Oh, but it is, laddie. Mother Superior's gonna shit when she sees us like this!"