OLD VERSION: >The ant works hard in! the withering heat all summer long, building his >house and laying up supplies for the winter. >The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the >summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. >The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. > >MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! > > >MODERN VERSION: >The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his >house and laying up supplies for the winter. >The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the >summer away. >Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and >demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed >while others are cold and starving. >CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering >grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a >table filled with food. >America is stunned ! by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a >country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? >Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody >cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." >Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where >the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." >Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's >sake. >Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings >that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both >call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair >share." >Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," >retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing >to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having >nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by >the government. >Hillary gets her old law fir! m to represent the grasshopper in a >defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of >federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare >recipients. >The ant loses the case. >The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of >the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens >to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't >maintain it. >The ant has disappeared in the snow. >The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, >now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once >peaceful neighborhood. > >MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican > 
