PLAY Funny Corona Memes, Videos, Etc.

PanBear

PanBear

Veteran Member
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Kayak

Kayak

Adrenaline Junkie
SATIRE

This....

From an anonymous UPS delivery driver...

5 types of customers since the “rona”:

1) Steve:
He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.

Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.

2) Brad:
He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.

Brad will not survive.
Steve will probably eat him.

3) Nancy:
She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.

She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.

4) Karen:
She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.

Karen will not survive longer than Brad.

5) Mary:
Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.

Mary will survive and marry Steve.
Together they will repopulate the earth.

May God have mercy on us all.
 
MinnesotaSmith

MinnesotaSmith

Membership Revoked
babylonbee.com

Thanks To Stay-At-Home Order, Husbands Have New Opportunity To Supervise Their Wives Doing Chores

U.S.—The stay-at-home orders most states have issued have caused a big change in family dynamics, as now many men who were out of the house and unavailable to help with daily chores are now home and available to carefully supervise.“I didn’t realize how much my wife did each day,” said David...
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com

Thanks To Stay-At-Home Order, Husbands Have New Opportunity To Supervise Their Wives Doing Chores

April 6th, 2020
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U.S.—"The stay-at-home orders most states have issued have caused a big change in family dynamics, as now many men who were out of the house and unavailable to help with daily chores are now home and available to carefully supervise.

“I didn’t realize how much my wife did each day,” said David Lloyd, an accountant. “And she did it all without my input and helpful criticisms. Well, that’s changed now.”

Evan Norman, a computer programmer, agreed. “Now is a time for me to finally help at home, by making sure everything gets done right,” said Norman. “Since the quarantine started, I’ve constantly paused my video game to give helpful suggestions on cleaning the house and handling the kids.”

Experts do not know how much this increased supervision has increased the productivity of wives, as they have all just glared angrily in response to questions and have reminded us that, with this coronavirus, we should keep our distance."
 
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