Fixing cooking disasters

[ExitMisery]

Thought I would ask for ideas and input on this topic. We've all had this happen - the sauce burns, the food is far too salty (or a classic that happened to my aunt this Christmas), she ran out of meat as the first folk served themselves a really large portion!

My aunt did something pretty clever - she had made swiss steak in gravy with mashed potatoes. Most of the steak was gone, but the other guests didn't yet notice. There was a lot of gravy left. She said, "oops, let me heat this more; it is looking rather cold". She ran in the kitchen, reheated the gravy, and threw some finely sliced Vienna Sausages (you know, those little finger looking things frequently on sale), and served as usual. She had plenty of mashed potatoes on the table.

Funny, my cousin called me after Christmas and I asked how Christmas dinner was. I had already heard this hilarious "save" from my aunt. She said "Mom made her classic swiss steak in that brown gravy we love. Funny though, this year she decided to slice the meat into little, tiny pieces".

NO, I didn't give up my aunt's secret

 

[ExitMisery]

Just some ideas on fixes (this is cute). And if you hadn't guessed, yes, I made a culinary disaster today - a watery, oily quiche!
The dog will like it!

Martha vs. Real Women:

Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow into the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The real Women's way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Martha's way #2:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The real Women's way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The real Women's way:
Go to the bakery, they'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excees salt for an instant "fix me up".
The real Women's way:
If you oversalt a dish while it's cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Martha's Way #5:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil before putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
The real Women's way:
Celery? never heard of the stuff.

Martha's way #6:
Brush some beaten egg whites over the pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's way:
The Mrs. Smith's frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it.

Matha's Way #7:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., add ice and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Martha's Way #8:
If you have trouble opening jars, try using latex gloves. They provide a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The real Women's way:
Go next door to the neighbor's and ask the hot 20-year-old son to open it for you.

And finally, the most important tip
Martha's Way #9:
Don't throw away all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way:
Leftover wine????

 

[Pete/ME]

Had my perfect save at Thanksgiving... doing the final 5 minutes of my sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows on top... well at about 4 minutes into it, the toddler had a tumble, so needless to say, cooking was forgotten until the aroma of toasting marshmallows wafted thru the room... Topping was ablaze... looked like a little cookout going on in the oven... A quick damp towel to snuff the flames, a scrap with a spatula, fresh coat of minimarshmallows, and wouldn't you know it, 5 minutes later it was on the table as if nothing had happened. Needless to say, the mother-in-law was duly impressed.