I'm going to start this here. I'll eventually start rolling it over to the my other spot but I thought what the heck, might as well start on it here. I'm going out of the country for a couple of weeks starting Tuesday so I might not get to post more until I get back. Depends on the connection and if I have any time to get more written up.
I am a little uncertain about this story because I don't have a lot of working knowledge on the geographic location the character spends the majority of her time in. If anyone sees some mistakes, just sing out and I'll try and edit a fix in. Thanks.
Chapter 1
I feel like I’ve been stupid way too long. Maybe even way on the other side of too long. I just hope there is time to fix the stupid I’ve been so that I’m not stuck with it as a permanent condition.
Mr. and Mrs. Steuben said someone from the county would be coming for us; if not that afternoon the next morning. They said they had no choice but to leave immediately because of the evacuation orders and legally they weren’t allowed to take any of us with them. I get it. They were afraid. Life is a crapshoot and the Steubens are decent people, but I mean no one is perfect. They were nice to all of us, but it was Kay and Kal they had been waiting for. Two little babies that could be theirs and theirs alone and share their last name and be their kids for real. They were already going to be in trouble maybe for taking Kay and Kal without the judge having signed the final papers yet, but I guess they were willing to take that risk. Plus, I gotta say I’m thankful because I didn’t want to be responsible for two six-month old babies. I mean for real don’t want to.
The thing is I made the mistake of believing them, trusting them. Mr. and Mrs. Steuben, I mean. Or believing in what they were hoping was the truth. Whatever. More fool me. Hew told me I was being a fool all along, but I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to be wrong. Again. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to him. At least sorry right now. Maybe I’ll be something more than sorry tomorrow, but it must be done. All the older kids but me have decided to take off on their own. That still leaves me with six kids to look after by myself and all the food in the house is gone except for what I was able to scrape together for their dinner. A couple boxes of the super cheapo mac n cheese with a couple cans of veggies and tuna thrown in to piece it out so everyone has enough so they can sleep with something in their bellies besides boiled water.
Tonight, after all but Hew are asleep, I’m going to sneak out and try and find enough food for a couple more days. I feel kinda rotten about it. The people in this neighborhood seem nice in a standoffish kind of way and none of them look like they have a lot of stuff they can afford to lose, but I’m not seeing I have much choice because I can’t leave the kidlets to starve either. What I figure to do is get enough food and then pack everyone up and move over to the church where the Steubens took us on Sundays and Wednesday nights. I doubt there will be anyone there, but who knows, and maybe we don’t stay there but a night or two; but it is a place to work on a plan of what to do next.
Why can’t we work on a plan here? Because Hew says that he heard from Tyrell that Juan is planning on coming on these streets and getting back at someone who turned in his Mom and her boyfriend and got them deported. And not only is he going after those people but anyone that might be their friend or … just lots of what Mr. Loper would have called excuses, justifications, and rationalizations. Juan wants to make a stink because he is angry and that’s all he is thinking about right now.
I’m thinking that it isn’t the people over here that he is angry at, well maybe a little but mostly he doesn’t want to be angry at his mother for not taking care of her business to start with and then not taking him and his little sister with her when she had to go back to Honduras. And maybe if he was real honest, it was him finding out that he wasn’t even her biological kid like she claimed, but just one she picked up along the way to get around the old migrant legal system and found useful to bring more bring bennies in for the ones she called her real kids. Mostly Juan is a mess and he wants to blame the world for his damage even though he is now old enough that it is his personal choices that are causing the most damage to his potential future. Geez I can hear some of the guys now … “We need a social worker over here! Stat!” They hate the psychobabble crap nearly as much as I do.
I miss the crew. I mean I seriously miss them even if they were all just a buncha ‘Tards. At least they were my friends; and not just because their parents said they had to be nice to me. A lot of them even snapped me when things were going south to make sure that I knew and that I was getting out of the area. Even Zeb did. I know his aunt would have blown a couple of arteries had she known but he still took the risk and did it. But I can’t think about that right now. There’s no future in it.
I won’t have Hew around for long, not that he is much help. He has some crazy idea of joining Juan and his gang. I am not sure that is going to work out for him. He may be a person of color but he’s the wrong type of color if you know what I mean. His mom may have been Rican but his dad sure wasn’t and Hew is stupid if he thinks that those gangbangers are just gonna overlook his less than pure lineage. They fight amongst themselves like a bunch a dogs even when they share the same color anyway.
But I can’t stop Hew from trying. He’s 14 and while I’ve survived to make it to 17, that doesn’t mean much these days. He’s mostly mad that he thought we should hook up. I mostly wanted to drop him on his head after I finished gagging at the very idea. I knew Hew was getting nasty but man, he’s going downhill fast. Why do some guys have to think more with their little head than they do their big one? It also wasn’t brilliant of him to laugh at me for saying that I was saving myself until some guy was willing to put a ring on it. He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to hold onto it and that I should take what I could get before someone took it from me. Hew has a mile and then some to go before he understands girls and I am not going to be the little creep’s teacher. I will never be that desperate.
On the other hand, I don’t have time to worry about Hew anymore if he is going to be a stupid jerk. With him gone I’ll be down to five kids to look after because I guarantee he makes more work than he helps fix. I honest to God wish I had no one but me to look after but not even I am whack enough to leave five little kinderkids to look after themselves. The reason why I agreed to take the long-term Depo was so that even if I got raped (or super stupid) I wouldn’t wind up with a kid. But I do the right thing and keep my legs closed and I still wind up with kids. How insane is that?! There is no justice in this life. None.
I need to stop scribbling all the drama and get up off my butt and get ready to go do what I gotta do. At least it is cool enough that I’m not gonna roast in these clothes. I’ve lost all my summer tan – not that I had much time after summer camp to work on one worth keeping, and while I’m not day-glo white even at the worst of times I’m still too glow-in-the-dark to go around uncamouflaged unless I want someone to spot my butt while I’m trying to bump lock a door. Thank goodness I take after my dad who was a throw back Acadian that looked like his Mi’kmaq ancestors. My mom was Italian with hair so black it had blue highlights and skin so fair she never would tan. I have her hair and blue eyes but the rest of me is from Dad’s side of the family.
I wish I wasn’t on the wrong side of town. I don’t know this area like I did where I used to live. Why they had to close the group home down I don’t know. So there were a few bugs in the game room and the director was a you-know-what on wheels and was skimming a bit here and there. It wasn’t the end of the frelling world. I don’t know anyone over here. New school that sucks. New church that is alright but everyone already has their group of friends. Worst of all, all I can get over here are scut jobs and that’s okay but it doesn’t give me the chance to make money like my old job did that would pay extra for working holidays and doing the crap jobs no one else wanted to.
I miss my old life … my school, my friends, the troop, the church, I even miss the group home and the people who worked there. My old life maybe wasn’t much but it was still my life. Dang people and their wild hairs. And now things are really in the toilet and I’m going to have to steal to make sure these little kids don’t starve, something I promised myself I’d never sink to no matter what. Only thing I can say is it isn’t just my life in the toilet these days. Even normies are going through hard times.
I am a little uncertain about this story because I don't have a lot of working knowledge on the geographic location the character spends the majority of her time in. If anyone sees some mistakes, just sing out and I'll try and edit a fix in. Thanks.
Chapter 1
I feel like I’ve been stupid way too long. Maybe even way on the other side of too long. I just hope there is time to fix the stupid I’ve been so that I’m not stuck with it as a permanent condition.
Mr. and Mrs. Steuben said someone from the county would be coming for us; if not that afternoon the next morning. They said they had no choice but to leave immediately because of the evacuation orders and legally they weren’t allowed to take any of us with them. I get it. They were afraid. Life is a crapshoot and the Steubens are decent people, but I mean no one is perfect. They were nice to all of us, but it was Kay and Kal they had been waiting for. Two little babies that could be theirs and theirs alone and share their last name and be their kids for real. They were already going to be in trouble maybe for taking Kay and Kal without the judge having signed the final papers yet, but I guess they were willing to take that risk. Plus, I gotta say I’m thankful because I didn’t want to be responsible for two six-month old babies. I mean for real don’t want to.
The thing is I made the mistake of believing them, trusting them. Mr. and Mrs. Steuben, I mean. Or believing in what they were hoping was the truth. Whatever. More fool me. Hew told me I was being a fool all along, but I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to be wrong. Again. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to him. At least sorry right now. Maybe I’ll be something more than sorry tomorrow, but it must be done. All the older kids but me have decided to take off on their own. That still leaves me with six kids to look after by myself and all the food in the house is gone except for what I was able to scrape together for their dinner. A couple boxes of the super cheapo mac n cheese with a couple cans of veggies and tuna thrown in to piece it out so everyone has enough so they can sleep with something in their bellies besides boiled water.
Tonight, after all but Hew are asleep, I’m going to sneak out and try and find enough food for a couple more days. I feel kinda rotten about it. The people in this neighborhood seem nice in a standoffish kind of way and none of them look like they have a lot of stuff they can afford to lose, but I’m not seeing I have much choice because I can’t leave the kidlets to starve either. What I figure to do is get enough food and then pack everyone up and move over to the church where the Steubens took us on Sundays and Wednesday nights. I doubt there will be anyone there, but who knows, and maybe we don’t stay there but a night or two; but it is a place to work on a plan of what to do next.
Why can’t we work on a plan here? Because Hew says that he heard from Tyrell that Juan is planning on coming on these streets and getting back at someone who turned in his Mom and her boyfriend and got them deported. And not only is he going after those people but anyone that might be their friend or … just lots of what Mr. Loper would have called excuses, justifications, and rationalizations. Juan wants to make a stink because he is angry and that’s all he is thinking about right now.
I’m thinking that it isn’t the people over here that he is angry at, well maybe a little but mostly he doesn’t want to be angry at his mother for not taking care of her business to start with and then not taking him and his little sister with her when she had to go back to Honduras. And maybe if he was real honest, it was him finding out that he wasn’t even her biological kid like she claimed, but just one she picked up along the way to get around the old migrant legal system and found useful to bring more bring bennies in for the ones she called her real kids. Mostly Juan is a mess and he wants to blame the world for his damage even though he is now old enough that it is his personal choices that are causing the most damage to his potential future. Geez I can hear some of the guys now … “We need a social worker over here! Stat!” They hate the psychobabble crap nearly as much as I do.
I miss the crew. I mean I seriously miss them even if they were all just a buncha ‘Tards. At least they were my friends; and not just because their parents said they had to be nice to me. A lot of them even snapped me when things were going south to make sure that I knew and that I was getting out of the area. Even Zeb did. I know his aunt would have blown a couple of arteries had she known but he still took the risk and did it. But I can’t think about that right now. There’s no future in it.
I won’t have Hew around for long, not that he is much help. He has some crazy idea of joining Juan and his gang. I am not sure that is going to work out for him. He may be a person of color but he’s the wrong type of color if you know what I mean. His mom may have been Rican but his dad sure wasn’t and Hew is stupid if he thinks that those gangbangers are just gonna overlook his less than pure lineage. They fight amongst themselves like a bunch a dogs even when they share the same color anyway.
But I can’t stop Hew from trying. He’s 14 and while I’ve survived to make it to 17, that doesn’t mean much these days. He’s mostly mad that he thought we should hook up. I mostly wanted to drop him on his head after I finished gagging at the very idea. I knew Hew was getting nasty but man, he’s going downhill fast. Why do some guys have to think more with their little head than they do their big one? It also wasn’t brilliant of him to laugh at me for saying that I was saving myself until some guy was willing to put a ring on it. He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to hold onto it and that I should take what I could get before someone took it from me. Hew has a mile and then some to go before he understands girls and I am not going to be the little creep’s teacher. I will never be that desperate.
On the other hand, I don’t have time to worry about Hew anymore if he is going to be a stupid jerk. With him gone I’ll be down to five kids to look after because I guarantee he makes more work than he helps fix. I honest to God wish I had no one but me to look after but not even I am whack enough to leave five little kinderkids to look after themselves. The reason why I agreed to take the long-term Depo was so that even if I got raped (or super stupid) I wouldn’t wind up with a kid. But I do the right thing and keep my legs closed and I still wind up with kids. How insane is that?! There is no justice in this life. None.
I need to stop scribbling all the drama and get up off my butt and get ready to go do what I gotta do. At least it is cool enough that I’m not gonna roast in these clothes. I’ve lost all my summer tan – not that I had much time after summer camp to work on one worth keeping, and while I’m not day-glo white even at the worst of times I’m still too glow-in-the-dark to go around uncamouflaged unless I want someone to spot my butt while I’m trying to bump lock a door. Thank goodness I take after my dad who was a throw back Acadian that looked like his Mi’kmaq ancestors. My mom was Italian with hair so black it had blue highlights and skin so fair she never would tan. I have her hair and blue eyes but the rest of me is from Dad’s side of the family.
I wish I wasn’t on the wrong side of town. I don’t know this area like I did where I used to live. Why they had to close the group home down I don’t know. So there were a few bugs in the game room and the director was a you-know-what on wheels and was skimming a bit here and there. It wasn’t the end of the frelling world. I don’t know anyone over here. New school that sucks. New church that is alright but everyone already has their group of friends. Worst of all, all I can get over here are scut jobs and that’s okay but it doesn’t give me the chance to make money like my old job did that would pay extra for working holidays and doing the crap jobs no one else wanted to.
I miss my old life … my school, my friends, the troop, the church, I even miss the group home and the people who worked there. My old life maybe wasn’t much but it was still my life. Dang people and their wild hairs. And now things are really in the toilet and I’m going to have to steal to make sure these little kids don’t starve, something I promised myself I’d never sink to no matter what. Only thing I can say is it isn’t just my life in the toilet these days. Even normies are going through hard times.