Wow, you sure know how to keep your readers coming back for more. Thank You Kathy!July 16 - Day 7 Swakopmund (1) - Part 2
I went to the tent where Sadie was supposedly sleeping and “knocked.” “Sadie? It’s Gus, you have a sec?”
She wasn’t asleep. “They want to send me home?”
“No,” I told her, glad she was at least somewhat intuitive to what is going on around her. “They want to make sure that you have something to do besides sit in the jeep while they go do manly things.”
She blinked. “Your Benny’s mom.”
“Aunt,” I answered and grinned knowingly.
She sighed and relaxed. “Okay. What did they come up with and why are you the one telling me?”
“Let’s get one thing straight,” I told her in a friendly tone. “I’m not telling you squat. I’m asking. What your answer is from there we’ll work from.”
“Asking.” She was obviously suspicious but not rude about it.
“Yeah, asking. I’ve been your age. While some things in life just are what they are, you’re old enough that you need a say in some things as well. You’re fifteen?”
“Fourteen. I’ll be fifteen in a couple of months.”
“Even more important. You need to be allowed to make decisions now that you have a safety net in case it doesn’t work out rather than having the consequences of decision making without the experience being dumped on you once you become an adult.” She blinked again. “So, this is the offer …”
When I was finished explaining her blank face turned to surprise. “Seriously? Boba really said I could stay?”
“I can only present the offer as I know it to be. Anything else you’ll have to ask him,” I answered.
“I’d like to stay. This is the first time I’ve ever been allowed on one of their big trips, but kinda saw they regretted it as soon as we got here. They mean well …”
“They’re just guys. Got it,” I told her, understanding better than she probably thought I did. “But things are what they are, and they are who they are, and now you’ve got a choice. Do you need time to think about it?”
“No, because this will fix things and … and I don’t want to go back to England and sit around, or have to take another summer term and explain why I’ve already done all the work for Fall Term. What are you going to do with me that is different than what I was doing?”
“Do with you? Wrong question.” She tilted her head like I’d surprised her. “You’ll be part of our crew which is what we call our family and the people that we work with closely. Hugh is technically a member of our crew even though he is partly working as security for the company who has organized this safari. He can be ‘extra special’ on occasion but he knows his job, knows Africa, and is more interested in showing us Africa than he is any kind of drama. His partner Mr. Hendry isn’t a member of what I call the crew as he is solely working with your grandfather and brothers. Benny you know. Lev, my husband, you’ll get to know, and I’ll leave it up to him however you want to address him. He and Benny are … let’s call it empathetic. That has its good side and bad. For Lev it leans in the direction of being a protector … but easily down on himself if he doesn’t think he is doing a good enough job of it. Cut him some slack until he gets used to someone your age. Especially a female someone your age.”
She silently agreed to my unspoken line in the sand and said, “Fine. What’s the right question then?”
“How much do you want to do with us?” She blinked again and I realized it was her tell, meaning it was her body language that showed she was trying to control or hide her reaction to something. “We’re adventurous. Hugh because it is his job. Lev in large part because it goes along with his job but one he enjoys. Benny because I’ve raised him this way.”
“And you?”
“I was born this way.” She couldn’t hide her reaction this time. A combination of surprise, confusion, and suspicion. I explained to her, “If you are going to be with us it will likely come up so I’m simply going to tell you. When I was considerably younger than you, I was diagnosed with enough acronyms I could have started my own language. ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, APD, BPD, GAD, RAD, ASD, LD, SLD, etc ad nauseum. I was lucky I had people in my life that had the energy and time to keep me from being medicated into submission and taught me to cope with the way my brain works. I barely made it into legal adulthood however before I had to learn to navigate on my own … and be responsible for Benny at the same time who himself has a buttload of diagnosis, one of the most important being a serious dietary restriction.”
“Gluten … he can’t have any or it makes him sick. He told me.”
“Exactly, only not just physically ill, it changes his personality in the extreme. It is also why he has to avoid artificial red dye in food and drink though he has become slightly less sensitive to it as he has grown older. Me? Not so much so we both avoid it. I also can’t have caffeine unless I want to face plant shortly thereafter.”
“Oh, so that’s why you don’t drink at teatime.”
“I drink, however I can only have herbal tea … which also tends to have an exaggerated effect like with chamomile or linden teas … so I usually just stick to water, mineral water, or a sports drink. If you catch Benny reading labels on stuff before he brings it to me, it is because he is being considerate of my issues the same as I am to his … and Lev’s.”
“He’s gluten-sensitive too, right?”
I nodded. “Which leads me to a question then we’ll get back to yours. They’ve told me zero about any needs or preferences you have. So, if you have any sing out. Can’t compute data I don’t have.”
She held up a medical bracelet. “I can’t take Ibuprofen or acetaminophen. It is the only way that I am like my family.”
“All of you are sensitive to it?”
“More than sensitive. It will put us in hospital. In an emergency we can take naproxen, but only in an emergency. Boba’s Nani, his grandmother, was Hindi and knew all about natural remedies. She is the one that saved Boba when he was a baby when he got sick from some teething medicine. She took care of my father when he was a baby too. The Twins knew her really well. I remember her but only as a soft and fuzzy and really old woman.” Getting lost in a memory she said, “I knew I wasn’t. alone when she was there.” She blinked really fast and tried to pretend she hadn’t let me see beyond her boundaries. “And I have to take extra magnesium and zinc and will for the rest of my life.”
“Because?”
She was silent and then in a quiet voice explained, “My mother drank a lot. Even when she was pregnant with me until Boba made it so she couldn’t. But they still thought I was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. You know what that is?”
“Unfortunately. I take it they were wrong.”
“They weren’t. Just most people don’t know that FASDs is a spectrum of disorders. I just got the mildest ones … I’m skinny not because I try but because my body doesn’t absorb some nutrients as much as it should. And I am always tripping because my coordination is atrocious. Girls always hate it when I am on their team in sports. I can’t even run without looking stupid.”
“Meh. What do they know. People are stupid. If you have low weight that means you have trouble keeping your muscle mass up. Your muscles are what supports your infrastructure. No promises, it might at least make your feel more confident, but if you want to join me when I do my stretches at night you can build up a little bit.”
“Seriously? You do calisthenics and stuff?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I just like to stretch at night. It relaxes me.”
“You do yoga?”
“It started out being yoga but nowadays I wouldn’t say it is real yoga. I combine stretching and strength training using resistance exercises. Helps me to keep my focus and not get too buzzy during the day. You know, so much energy I spazz out. When I was a kid, until I was about your age and found some activities to expend the energy on, I would sometimes just need to run, climb, swim, paddle, you name it. People would ask me why and I would just kind of shrug unable to explain how it felt like static electricity all over me including in my brain if I didn’t. And yeah, I know it sounds weird. Everyone experiences life a little different and some of us experience it a lot different.”
She shrugged. “They kept expecting me to be behind academically. Boba had tutors for me when I turned four … the year Nani died … and they always made it seem like I was behind so they could keep their job. But then when I went to school the counselors made it seem like I was too far ahead and that I needed to go to a different school because I was too much trouble for them. Boba always made it out like the schools were the trouble, but somehow that was my fault too. Too far ahead. Too far behind. School is …”. She shuddered.
“I was home schooled all the way until I was in high school, and I only went into public school for specific courses or reasons … I was a naval cadette and I had to be in school if I wanted to be in that program or have a driver’s license so I went for math.”
“I love math.”
“Then you can help Benny and be my guest.” I told her with a shudder. “I don’t want him to hate math but I’m happy with my math apps on my phone that help. I’m number dyslexic. Benny is letter dyslexic though he’s conquered most of it except when he is tired or emotional.”
She surprised me with a laugh. “They used to think I was dyslexic because I never wrote my words correctly. I just thought they looked prettier the way I was writing them. I could read them so I thought that was all that was important. Writing them normal was boring.”
And something suddenly clicked. I think I’m going to like this girl. She has something … I don’t know what to call it … but that was cool. She wrote words so they were prettier to her.
“Can you still do that?” When she nodded I said, “Show me some time.” I chuckled. “I would have loved to have told people something like that. That’s cool. Benny will probably get a kick out of it too. Just don’t let him think he doesn’t have do it the other way too. I’m lucky Lev and Benny can understand my shorthand, but I can write my words correctly, it just takes more time and work than I enjoy spending on it. I use my tablet for a lot of that stuff and can dictate what I want to write if need be. But … not exactly a lot of electricity out here in the bush so I’m back to writing notes in my personal shorthand.”
She slowly smiled in return. The she blinked real fast and tried to put her blank face back in place. “So. Adventure. What does that mean?”
I explained about how Benny and I had started our original Adventure traveling the national parks, how we’d met Lev in Florida doing state parks, then followed him to Alaska and the Pacific Ocean, how Adventure had turned into an Adventure of a Lifetime for Lev and I and then I said … “Er, getting late and sorry about the hamster keeping you up.”
“Hamster?” She asked in confusion.
“That’s what I call my issues. I’ve just always … er …”
“Hamster. Oh … I get it. We had a class pet when I was in primary grade. It would get on this wheel and just go and go and go.”
“Pretty much. There’s a hamster in my head … figuratively. Look, so have we made a deal? You throw in with us, become a member of our crew?”
“Yes! And I get to come with you instead of having to wait in the jeep or camp?”
“If you are in our crew, you get to do what we do. I can’t always promise that that …”
“I don’t care what it is, it has to be better than sitting around all day. And um … what about my stuff? Do I stay in this tent? I mean a tent, by myself?”
I noted she was a little dark under the eyes and wondered if she was bothered by it, or needed it. “Which would you prefer?”
She blinked again then slowly answered, “I … I wouldn’t mind sharing a tent.”
“But?”
With more confidence she said, “No buts. At school I stayed in the dorm with the other girls. Some of them were a lot younger than me. It never bothered me, and I actually preferred the little ones to the older girls that could be mean. So, if Benny doesn’t freak about having to share a tent with a girl, and there’s rules, maybe he and I could share and it be next to your tent. I mean we could work it like that.”
“Let me check logistics. You already have a tent of your own. If you are willing to share it with Benny that might not be a bad thing. He depends on us … and will a little longer than maybe some kids his age …”. She nodded in understanding. “But I also don’t want to keep him more dependent than he can be and cripple him. On the other hand, we also need to clear things with your grandfather and brothers. They might not think it is kosher that your tent mate is male.”
She blinked yet again, like the idea of them objecting to that hadn’t even crossed her mind. We said goodnight and I headed back to our tent to find Lev still awake.
“Took a while. We’re you able to convince her?”
“Uh … you still okay with this?”
He relaxed. “So you did convince her.”
“There was no convincing to it. We were just being girls and getting to know both sides of this story.”
“Er …”
I chuckled trying not to wake Benny. “Lev, it was a girl thing. We were getting to know each other. She’s fourteen going on forty.”
“Okay, please explain that to my poor male brain because gotta be honest Babe, that comment is giving me your heebies.”
This time I had to laugh into the crook of my elbow. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. The girl is okay. I think she’ll fit if she can let herself believe she’s going to be included and not just as the next person’s burden to carry. That’s mostly what she seems to want … or maybe need.” We relaxed into each other’s arms, my back to his front. “She has her own dietary issues. Nothing horrible, nothing her fault, some of it is hereditary and some … she says is a result of her bio-mom’s behavior while pregnant. Let me double check to make sure the story is as she explained it. If she has behavioral issues nothing pinged my radar. Benny seems to like her and while she registers on his empathy, nothing too weighty. She seems to like Benny … likes his acceptance of her. Their age difference isn’t huge, but it is enough that she can maybe take her turn as leader which might help her self-esteem.”
“Whoa. Where’s all this coming from?”
I shrugged. “Crew building. I used to get high marks for it. Is … is it a problem?”
“Are you kidding. It’s sexy as hell. Just … be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt. My sister could be a real bitch at that age.”
Ah ha. “Lev, don’t take this the wrong way but your sister can be a bitch at any time. I’m not even sure she see’s what she is doing for what it is. Your mother, and I know it is wrong to blame the parents for everything kids do, but you understand what your mother did to you. I cut your sister the slack I do because if your mother messed you up, I think she messed your sister up even more and worse. And that said, Sadie is not your sister. Not anything like her with anything approaching the same life experiences except she also gets shipped off to a private school rather than allowed to live at home.”
Lev took a deep breath, and I could feel him forcing himself to relax. “Valid points. So, what do you need from me?”
“To be a better, or maybe just more involved, male role model than what she has had up to this point. You don’t need to play father-figure, not sure she’d know how to deal with that, just … keep being the fantastic uncle you are to Benny and allow her to be included once she gets comfortable with it. She has a grandfather and brothers.”
A thought started coalescing in my mind and Lev sensed it. “Babe?”
“It just struck me. She … I don’t know. She’s got a blank in her life where a father would fit for everyone else. She never knew him if I am understanding it right. He died before she was born or right about that time. But she’s had enough males in her life that the place marker is beyond filling. I have the same thing where a mother would have fit. Maybe if Dad had remarried or something but … that spot is just a blank for me and I’m not really sure if I know what could have filled that spot because I had Grandma Barry, Meemo, even Abuelita and my aunts for a while. The ladies at church. Geez, even Penny when I needed her when I first moved in with them. Maybe I understand Sadie because of that. I think I almost prefer that blank spot than all the confusion you had to go through as a kid. Maybe we can do the same thing for Sadie.”
“You’re more than an aunt to Benny.”
“I’m my definition of aunt. But I’ll never take Penny’s place,” I admitted quietly. “He’s been able to talk about her more lately. And I’m okay with that. I want a healthy and happy Benny. What that is called really doesn’t matter. I know what I mean, how I feel, what my motivation is.”
He hugged me letting me know that, in his own way, he understood. “Just, be careful with this girl. I don’t want you hurt, especially not because I’m asking for you to do something that … in all honesty … is more about my career than it is about the girl. Two months is enough to get attached but it is also time that will come to an end. I still remember how you were with Diego and Chan.”
“That was different. They are adults and acted like ‘tards.”
“Maybe, but …”
“Look, if … and that’s a big if … I get hurt, it will be because of something I chose, not because of something you or anyone else asked for me to do. I had a few crew members hurt me. In leadership you have to know how to handle that. Expectations and all the other rot that goes along with it. Sometimes you are just going to get hurt. Grandfather Barry said you could either make it a healthy growing experience, make you a better leader to the ones that don’t hurt you, or you could let it make you weak. If I get hurt, that’s how I’ll look at it. So stop worrying and taking responsibility for something that we don’t even know is going to happen. ‘K?”
We hugged each other and then Lev closed down some film he was working on and I wrote this all out of my system. Some days this journal is a log book and some days it is a freakin’ adolescent diary. Either way it is time for me to hit the hay. Tomorrow morning I’m going to ask for a meeting with “Boba” and hash the logistics out.
Story Aunt Gus and Little Bear's Adventure Book 4 (complete)
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
Wow, you sure know how to keep your readers coming back for more. Thank You Kathy!
I enjoyed this travel log. Thank You for writeing.
I'm working on 5. Got stuck with life happening hard and furiously. Aunt Gus and company is what I normally use to help me through transitioning through from one story to the next. Haven't even had time for that recently.
