Comments for "Withdrawal"

blackguard

blackguard

Veteran Member
I've been working on this story for some time. Please post your comments on the story here. If you like it, great! If you don't that's fine too but please let me know why you didn't like it. I only get better as a writer with feedback, good and bad.

Thank you.
 
D

Deena in GA

Administrator
_______________
Great story! Thanks for posting several chapters so we can really start getting into it! Notice it's very educational, especially for newbies to prepping too. Good job!
 
H

Holistic Granny

Inactive
Thank you Trooper - -
This is excellent - -like Prepping 101 in story form.
Great educational tool.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Interesting, dealing with the traumatic shock that the young couple have- -yes, not everyone responds the same so how do we handle it???
Good food for thought.
 
C

Chapulin

Veteran Member
A good story, moving along!

The early chapters had too many episodes of step through door, turn on light switch, continue into room. If that's your trademark its fine! If its something you learned, I'd suggest to use it sparingly and sprinkled. A couple of misspellings that passed the spellchecker. in for is, etc. If you want a detailed list, I;ll keep track.

A good use of the timeclock to keep track of what has happened in what timeperiod.

Chap
 
H

Holistic Granny

Inactive
Thank you so much for the new chapter.
Too bad Lorraine let emotion overtake training - although how could it not for all she went through. Something to remember!!
Looking forward to the next chapter - -really enjoying your story.
 
Walrus Whisperer

Walrus Whisperer

Hope in chains...
Excellent story, Trooper.
Hopefully you are planning a chapter with Josh and Lorraines terrible trip and arrival to the farm at some point?

It made for quite the disconnect when I'm reading about the others with the camper arriving and all of a sudden Josh and Lorraine were already there after suffering greatly in the process.....
 
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