To Do List

1. Make Vanilla Pudding. Put pudding in Mayo jar and eat out of the jar in public.

2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

3. Wear T-Shirt that says “LIFE”. Hand out lemons on street corner.

4. Get into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you are all wondering why I gathered you here today.”

5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they want fries with that burger.

6. Run into a store and ask what year it is. When someone answers, run out cheering, “It worked! It worked!”

7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.

8. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.

9. Buy a parrot. Train parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”

10. Follow joggers in your car, blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement.

4, 5, 6 ... I *have* to find time to do these

You are standing in the elevator with a coworker or friend and a woman walks in. Turn to the other and ask, "did you ever get that dead body out of your trunk?"


Go to a lumberyard and ask for some 2X4's. When they ask you how long you want them, say "I want them for a long time. I am building something."

changed said:

You are standing in the elevator with a coworker or friend and a woman walks in. Turn to the other and ask, "did you ever get that dead body out of your trunk?"

Click to expand...

I use a similar line at the grocery store when someone brings out my groceries, although one day I DID have a dead body in my trunk. And I said "just put the bags in the back seat, I've a dead body in the trunk" They did not believe me, so I had to show them. Now I've got two dead bodies in my trunk.

LOL! joking, it was a dead raccoon for my research. (it was dried and stuffed)