PRYR RQST Hate to ask but I lost my Dad today

Dennis Olson

Dennis Olson

Chief Curmudgeon
_______________
I'm so sorry for your loss. If you are close geographically, I suggest you consider going to talk to him today, before they start working on him. My mom and I fought like cats and dogs for most of our lives, but when she passed, I was at the funeral ome when they brought her in around midnight. She was still on a gurney and wrapped tight in a sheet, but they did a little prep work on her and wheeled her into a bare room, where she and I had about a half hour talk. I won't go over what I said, but I strongly felt her presence, and I bared my soul to her. That conversation has comforted me for a very long time. No one else was there, just her and I.
 
B

Beth

Inactive
Vicki said:
I don't like asking for prayers for myself but thought I would post and ask that those that don't mind please say a prayer for my Dad. He hadn't been well in a long time. He was 80 years old. He passed on today alittle after 4pm and unfortunely we didn't have a very good relationship. I probably won't be attending his funeral but I've been letting out the anger, the grief and the regrets all day. I felt it was going to be today. I sensed it right about the time he went. It's a mystery to me why that happens but it did happen. I undersatnd the reason he wasn't there for me was because I was going to become that much stronger and tougher by doing it on my own. I'm ok with that. I even appreciate it. My wish is that he goes to heaven and I wish him to be at peace in his heart.

Thank you all for your support now and everyday. :)

Vicki
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{{{{{{{Vicki}}}}}}}

I'm so sorry about your Dad. A little regret is perhaps inevitable in any human's journey through life, I've learned, but it's important to forgive yourself and all others who are involved... and that may take a little time, so we'll pray for that.

God's got your six, Vicki, yours and your Dad's, so why not just 'let go and let God' as the cliché suggests? It isn't easy, I know, but it's the only way through this. BTDT, so I know.

LOTS of love and prayers to you and yours tonight and always.
 
DustMusher

DustMusher

Inactive
Prayers sent and have a good long talk with your father as well as your Father. Then take the time to listen for an answer.

DM
 
shinerbock

shinerbock

Innocent Bystander
We're so sorry!

DW & I are praying for your family. You are a credit to this forum. Lean on the Lord for the comfort you need and deserve. He is faithful to deliver us from every sadness.

sb
 
Maryh

Maryh

Veteran Member
I am sorry to hear of your father's death. I will pray for him and you and your sons.
I am praying for peace in your heart no matter what you decide to do. We are all children of God and He loves each and every one of us.
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
What a gang we are. It's hard to hold onto anger when you fill me up with love.

Raven, you're funny. That was a great story. Much appreciated.

Timbo, it seems many of us have these problems to make us who we are.

NoPlugs, thanks you for building me up. I'll share what I have wherever I can.

Dennis, I wish I could do what you did but I don't think I'll get that opportunity. It's a wonderful thought though.

I'd like to say something to each and everyone of you but I hope you don't mind if I say instead, please know you are ALL in my heart right now and I'm very thankful to have you.

Love to you all :)

Btw, I've blown through a whole box of kleenex. It's on to the TP now. :)
 
lisa

lisa

Veteran Member
praying for your loss...whether the relationship was good or bad losing a parent is always hard.
 
bev

bev

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Praying for you, Vicki, and your sons and entire family.

I urge you not to compound an unpleasant situation by holding on to any anger or other issues which would keep you from paying your final respects. Sometimes God's plan for someone else requires us to put all of our hurts aside, and just trust Him. It does us no good to hold on to that which He can bear much better than we can.
 
D_el

D_el

Veteran Member
(((Hugs))) Vicki. I'm so sorry for your loss as it stood at his time of passing. Go to his funeral and forgive him all he was errant on and bless him for the strength he forced you to show.
Remember, those who do not forgive are the ultimate losers and you have never impressed me as a loser. Be joyous in what you dad did give you and forgive his lapses.
God bless and keep you dear lady.
 
Hansa44

Hansa44

Justine Case
Vickie, you know I would never tell you what you should or shouldn't do. :) But I was taught that forgiveness is the best medicine and healer there is. And not just for the other guy. Important to include all sides of the story.


By the way....is that a picture of you in your avatar? Lookin' pretty good for an 80 yr old broad, huh. I bet everyone here will be surprised.
 
bev

bev

Has No Life - Lives on TB
I've just got to add, Vicki...

You only had ONE BOX OF TISSUES? What kind of a prepper are you?

((HUGS))
 
B

Ben Sunday

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Vicki,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad passing on. You have my sympathy and understanding at this very difficult time for you as well as your sons and other family.

Just a suggestion...please try to see your way to attend his services. It will be your last chance to make a public gesture towards him, an opportunity for you to heal and find some emotional closure, no matter how stormy the seas of life may have been.

Yes, the world is screwed up. No doubt about it. I respectfully add that whatever the problems or difficulties were, that chapter is closed now.

This too shall pass.

With sincere condolences,

Ben
 
dstraito

dstraito

TB Fanatic
No one minds a prayer for anyone that needs it. Prayer sent.

I lost my dad in 1995 and I still think of him everyday. Remember the good times.
 
N

Norma

Veteran Member
Vicki, Praying that God gives you the wisdom to do what is right for you and your sons. Praying also that your Dad has accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Praying for God's peace for the family at this time. There is an old saying that tears on the outside ease the pain on the inside. :bwl:

Take care and God Bless!

Norma
 
Milk-maid

Milk-maid

Girls with Guns Member
Vicki

sometimes people become closer after death.

At least i want to believe that my father and I have a good relationship now because he has insight he didn't have when he was here.

I talk to him frequently. I think he listens.

True Story -------When I was in the hospital, I swore my dad came in and sat at the edge of my bed with me for awhile. I could sense his spirit.
When my mother called me long distance from another state later that day to check on me in the hospital, I told her what happened. She then told me she had gone to church earlier that day and prayed that God would let him come check on me. My dad had been dead for about 10 years by that point. So I don't think time is a barrier.

Anyway Vicki...prayers for your father and you.
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
Milk-maid said:
Vicki

sometimes people become closer after death.

At least i want to believe that my father and I have a good relationship now because he has insight he didn't have when he was here.

I talk to him frequently. I think he listens.

True Story -------When I was in the hospital, I swore my dad came in and sat at the edge of my bed with me for awhile. I could sense his spirit.
When my mother called me long distance from another state later that day to check on me in the hospital, I told her what happened. She then told me she had gone to church earlier that day and prayed that God would let him come check on me. My dad had been dead for about 10 years by that point. So I don't think time is a barrier.

Anyway Vicki...prayers for your father and you.
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That's quite a story MilkMaid. Maybe he'll lend me his strength in the times coming on. I may need it. Thanks for sharing. :)
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
I agree Bev, I think I've cried it all out now. I'm feeling much better. I had been holding onto all of that for a long time. so long that it never surfaced until today. Then it came flowing out.

It reminded me of my first wedding. I wasn't nervous at all. Everyone kept asking me how I was doing right up until the wedding song started playing. I said calm cool and collective and my Dad did walk me down the aisle. He showed up to walk me down the aisle a day or two before my wedding after I had already asked someone else to give me away. we hadn't spoke in years. When I got up to the alter my knees starting shaking and I could hardly talk. I was trembling all over like a scared baby rabbit. I was 20 years old then so as you can see, it's been a life long saga. :)

Yes Hansa, that picture I took early this afternoon after fiddling with my camara for hours. One of the members here has been hounding me relentlessly to update my picture. :) I told them I'd break the camara and I think I very well might of. It's not working like it used to.

On another note I needed a picture to add to my articles. I'm officially a new author as of this morning writing for RuralSurvival.info. I submitted my first one today and I'm still learning the ropes but I think it's going to be very rewarding.

Ya know as much as a tragic day as I've had, the outpouring of love and compassion from all of you combined with the kindness of a few dear friends this last few days has really put me in an emotional roller coaster. I will probably sleep through the day tomorrow.

This is not the thread to put it on but I would love to share the extraordinary things that have happened lately. For another time I will.

Yes Bev, only one box I know. :( Lots of tp though, tons of it.

Bev, Buddy, Ben, all of you, sending ya love.

my eyes will be swelled shut by morning.. geez.. :)

Tears on the outside ease the pain on the inside. Great saying Norma, Thank you!
 
Dobbin

Dobbin

Faithful Steed
Anyway, keep it up. Both the forum and writing. And as I said - write your story. You certainly know that, and I said previously to "write what you know."
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I'm officially a new author as of this morning writing for RuralSurvival.info. I submitted my first one today and I'm still learning the ropes but I think it's going to be very rewarding.
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Wow! How about that! From the horses mouth!

Wow. I'm flattered.

Good luck to you human. You'll do well.

Dobbin
 
It'sJustMe

It'sJustMe

Deceased
Of course, Vicki! Sending prayers up for comfort and peace for you and your Sons, and also for peace and understanding for your father. May your Father also give you the wisdom to know the proper course of actions for you to take in these days ahead. Perhaps the opportunity to teach your Sons the power of forgiveness is one of the reasons you and your father couldn't be close? May you have a blessed Mother's Day! :rs:
 
T

tm1439m

Veteran Member
Vicki said:
I so appreciate all of you. I will meditate on going to the funeral and ask God for direction. The only regret I can muster is not releasing my anger issues a long time ago and sadly my sons feel the same. The world is such a screwed up place and many families go through this type of thing but that only brought my kids and I closer. What a lesson huh.

You are the best prayer warriors. Thank you.
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You have regrets from the past. If you guys don't go you may again regret the past. If you do go what regret could come of that? I don't think things will get any worse. They may get better.

By the way I had the same feelings the day my dad died. I could not get him off my mind and I felt very bad inside the entire morning at work. I was 16. Then my cousin walked over and was about to tell me but I already knew.

I lost my younger sister a few years back. She was 39 and I regret not saying or doing so many thing with her but it is to late and you cannot turn back the hands of time.
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
Joe said:
Wow! How about that! From the horses mouth!

Wow. I'm flattered.

Good luck to you human. You'll do well.

Dobbin
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I forgot you said that Joe. You are a prophet my friend. Amazing. It dawned on me later this afternoon that one of my first loves as a kid was writing. Wow, thank you Joe the talking horse.
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
It'sJustMe said:
Of course, Vicki! Sending prayers up for comfort and peace for you and your Sons, and also for peace and understanding for your father. May your Father also give you the wisdom to know the proper course of actions for you to take in these days ahead. Perhaps the opportunity to teach your Sons the power of forgiveness is one of the reasons you and your father couldn't be close? May you have a blessed Mother's Day! :rs:
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How'd you get so smart? :)
 
Vicki

Vicki

Girls With Guns Member
tm1439m said:
You have regrets from the past. If you guys don't go you may again regret the past. If you do go what regret could come of that? I don't think things will get any worse. They may get better.

By the way I had the same feelings the day my dad died. I could not get him off my mind and I felt very bad inside the entire morning at work. I was 16. Then my cousin walked over and was about to tell me but I already knew.

I lost my younger sister a few years back. She was 39 and I regret not saying or doing so many thing with her but it is to late and you cannot turn back the hands of time.
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I'm sorry for your losses TM. Your sister was way too young. Many of us experience this it seems and maybe the veil isn't as thick as we think it is or we're gifted with sensitivities. Who knows, maybe both.
 
Wise Owl

Wise Owl

Deceased
I will pray for him and for you to release the anger at your father.

I was angry at my father for a long time. I gave it up to God and became even closer to him now. He is going to be 89 this summer. Still going strong but I know God will call him home sooner or later. But I am so glad I gave up the anger I had for something he did a very long time ago. He's my Dad and I love him.
 
EYW

EYW

Veteran Member
I am sorry for your loss, Vicki. You have my condolences. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Hansa44

Hansa44

Justine Case
Really looking forward to what you've been doing. Noticed you're not around much, but then you'd suddenly post a couple times and knew you were okay. Thank goodness.

There are probably a number of us that try not to worry (but do) when the Vickie channel goes mostly silent.

Sounds like it's been pretty ok so far.
 
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