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TDS This is where we’re headed: MAGA - Married And Giant A-holes
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  1. #1
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    15 This is where we’re headed: MAGA - Married And Giant A-holes

    MAGA - Married And Giant A-holes

    Ahhhhh, weddings. The flowers, the cake, the music. So much time stressing over the details to insure the day is just what you have always dreamed. A time for friends and family to come together to celebrate a couple's love ... of hate.

    Welcome to the sewer of Audra and Jeff Johnson's MAGA themed wedding.

    Because they are such YUGE patriots, it was, of course, held on July 4th. Red, white and blue were the colors of choice. And the MAGA hats flowed like cheap covfefe.

    Forget focusing on one another, no, this thirsty couple made it all about celebrating the leader of Cult 45, Donald Trump. Audra even created her own hashtag to try to get all the eyes this poor, parched for attention human dumpster fire could possibly amASS. #MAGAPatriotWedding

    Maga dress 2While she walked down the grass aisle in a standard wedding gown, it was discarded pretty quick in favor of a custom made mess dress by Andre Soriano - PLEASE DO NOT CONFUSE HIM WITH CHRISTIAN SIRIANO, a decent man and truly talented designer. Andre, hilariously enough, is an immigrant (you know, Trump's favorite thing in the world), gay, and a huge MAGAt himself.

    Yes, I know. It makes zero sense outside the realm of self loathing.

    Soriano made this special for Audra - combining everything that makes a MAGAt, well, a MAGAt - red, white and blue for their pretend patriotism, big see through panels to make sure we know how classy they are, MAGA slogan dripping down her front so we know without asking that she's an idiot from a distance, and Trump's name dragging the floor - where it should always be.

    Now, not everyone in her world was as happy as the assembled sewage in that picture. The groom's father texted to say ‘As long as you support that racist in the White House, I won’t be attending your wedding.’ The bride's brother refused to attend as well. Which did not even phase Audra. Who needs parents or siblings on your big day when you have hashtagged the shit out of the wedding in the pathetic hope that Kellyanne Conway or Trump on the toilet sees your efforts.

    The entire thing is sad. And desperate. Look, to each their own - knock yourselves out. But a wedding is a reflection of who the bride and groom are. And this reflects every wretched thing they support, every wretched thing they stand with, every wretched thing they are. By her own admission, she was looking for liberal tears and posted "Best wedding gift ever! Watching them lose their shit is sooo amusing!"

    Oh, Audra, bless your heart. (Said with every southern intent.) You posted your hate themed wedding for everyone to see, and the push back you are getting is not because we are crying (well, I admit I did laugh so hard at your dress that my eyes got wet). You are being dragged and mocked for the shallow, hate filled, ignorant agenda you support. That you don't like the feedback? Well, you put it out there - you don't get to choose what comes back. (As evidenced by the truly vile filth your friends are currently putting in my inbox. If I can take being called a c*nt, a f*cker, and threatened, then sac up, Audra.) The "intolerant left" you are bleating about? Sorry, sweetheart, but we don't tolerate bigotry, oppression, racism, the wholesale marginalization of people because of their religion, their orientation, their gender, their color of their skin.

    I do find it lovely that you try to separate yourself from Trump's swamp by making sure we all know that Jeff is black. Honey, that Jeff supports a man who would not cross the street to pee on him if he were on fire? A man whose blatant racism is lifelong and well documented? Well, your groom has as many issues as do you.

    You, your new husband, and your guests are all just floaters in the sewer that is Cult 45. Chunks in the cesspool that support racism, white supremacy, children in cages, misogyny, wholesale discrimination against all LGBTQIA people, anyone who is not white and "Christian", and wiping your ass with the Constitution.

    That is what your wedding was a homage to. Not to love, to commitment, to hope for a better world together. That it made you so happy is because like all your MAGAty ilk, you are all about firmly walking through life with your middle finger raised.

    But that's ok. You enjoy your photo album full of ignorance and hate. Like the decomposing gourd you worship, it's not going to age well.

    https://dontgetmestarted-lindasharp....Wf7AriGAUbgEFA

  2. #2
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    The GROOM'S FATHER wouldn't come to the wedding. Because it was MAGA themed.

    God help us all.

  3. #3
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    If trump wins next year, it will descend to, “Father shoots groom at MAGA wedding.”

  4. #4
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    They just learned who are the real people in their lives that can be counted on.
    The rest can be ignored.

  5. #5
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    Well, connecting a wedding with a political upheaval is risky at best. Political upheavals tend to be short-lived and subject to change. But come to think of it, so do marriages.

    Wish the bride & groom many years of connubial bliss. They begin with shared politics anyway, even if not shared outlook with the family - or the author of the article.

    And perhaps they will have hoards of white skinned Caucasian children who will work, strive, achieve?

    Anathema to the political opposition.

    Dobbin
    I hinnire propter hoc ecce ego

  6. #6
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    "Brother shooting Brother, Kin shooting Kin." That's in our History Books somewhere and now you get Front Row seats as to how it began.
    "It ain't no secret I didn't get these scars falling over in church."


    "My Shoes are too Tight. But it is ok as I have forgotten how to Dance."

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satanta View Post
    "Brother shooting Brother, Kin shooting Kin." That's in our History Books somewhere and now you get Front Row seats as to how it began.
    Boy howdy is it.

    Luke 12: 53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

  8. #8
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    Once this floats up in the news cycle, I bet they'll get some autographed MAGA gear.
    Proud Infidel...............and Cracker

    Member: Nowski Brigade

    Deplorable


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by parocan View Post
    They just learned who are the real people in their lives that can be counted on.
    The rest can be ignored.
    This^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Patriot Guard rider
    www.patriotguard.org

  10. #10
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    Gonna be a whole lot of killin' goin' on.
    The wonder of our time isn’t how angry we are at politics and politicians; it’s how little we’ve done about it. - Fran Porretto
    -http://bastionofliberty.blogspot.com/2016/10/a-wholly-rational-hatred.html

  11. #11
    One of those articles that says more about the author than the subject she is supposedly writing about.

  12. #12
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    “Subjects” don’t attack others; “authors” can.

    Know the difference.

  13. #13
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    https://www.google.com/amp/s/heavy.c...f-johnson/amp/

    Better article here. On my phone so can’t post entire article. A couple of facts:

    1. Jeff Johnson is a former marine. Though my understanding is once a marine forever a marine. He wore his full dress uniform.
    2. One of the maids is a dem and she was not pressured to wear a MAGA hat.
    3. Audra is a anti abortion activist.

    Article is decent.
    Find my free fiction stories here.

    "Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?” - Kelvin R. Throop III

  14. #14
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    Looks like he's a marine
    People are quick to confuse and despise confidence as arrogance but that is common amongst those who have never accomplished anything in their lives and who have always played it safe not willing to risk failure.

  15. #15
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    Notice that the comments are closed for the blog post at the link. So who's really the coward and afraid of blowback now?
    People are quick to confuse and despise confidence as arrogance but that is common amongst those who have never accomplished anything in their lives and who have always played it safe not willing to risk failure.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Dobbin View Post
    Well, connecting a wedding with a political upheaval is risky at best. Political upheavals tend to be short-lived and subject to change. But come to think of it, so do marriages.

    Wish the bride & groom many years of connubial bliss. They begin with shared politics anyway, even if not shared outlook with the family - or the author of the article.

    And perhaps they will have hoards of white skinned Caucasian children who will work, strive, achieve?

    Anathema to the political opposition.

    Dobbin
    I think its a great way to start out a marriage, the couple knows from the very beginning who stands with em, and who doesn't.

    write off those that didn't come due to politics, high five those who loved MAGA theme, and embrace those who disagree with MAGA but came anyways! for those are true friends.

  17. #17
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    A Marine, and the best he can do is a 10-22?
    The wonder of our time isn’t how angry we are at politics and politicians; it’s how little we’ve done about it. - Fran Porretto
    -http://bastionofliberty.blogspot.com/2016/10/a-wholly-rational-hatred.html

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by KFhunter View Post
    I think its a great way to start out a marriage, the couple knows from the very beginning who stands with em, and who doesn't.

    write off those that didn't come due to politics, high five those who loved MAGA theme, and embrace those who disagree with MAGA but came anyways! for those are true friends.

    Well at least they know who they want and don't want with them in their foxhole now!
    People are quick to confuse and despise confidence as arrogance but that is common amongst those who have never accomplished anything in their lives and who have always played it safe not willing to risk failure.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis Olson View Post
    “Subjects” don’t attack others; “authors” can.

    Know the difference.
    I'm not excusing her.
    The bitch clearly has a chip on her shoulder.

  20. #20
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    Foxnews has picked it up:


    Michigan couple's wedding theme celebrates America, Trump
    Frank Miles
    1-1 minutes

    The July 4 wedding of Audra and Jeff Johnson in Kalamazoo, Mich., was a grand celebration of America and President Trump.

    The bride wore a custom gown made out of a Make America Great Again flag. Her nails were painted to look like American flags.

    The groomsmen wore “Don't tread on me” cufflinks.

    Each reception table featured a petition for an anti-abortion "heartbeat bill," Fox 17 reported.

    “It looked like America threw up all over my wedding, and I’m not sorry," the bride said.

    Frank Miles is a reporter and editor covering geopolitics, military, crime, technology and sports for FoxNews.com. His email is Frank.Miles@foxnews.com.

    https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/mi...-america-trump

  21. #21
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    The local media have as well:


    MAGA-themed wedding pays tribute to President Trump
    2-3 minutes


    KENT COUNTY— Subtlety was never the intent of the wedding decor for Audra and Jeff Johnson's nuptials.

    The couple married on July 4 in Kalamazoo, surrounded by friends and family donned in "Make America Great Again" hats.

    “It looked like America threw up all over my wedding and I’m not sorry," bride Audra Johnson said.

    Johnson says in addition to celebrating their love, she and her husband decided to use their wedding day as an opportunity to celebrate President Donald Trump. No detail was overlooked, down to the groomsmen's 'don't tread on me'" cufflinks. Each reception table featured a petition for an anti-abortion "heartbeat bill." Even the bride's nails were painted to look like American flags.

    As is the focal point of every wedding, the bride's dress stole the show.

    “The dress is actually an Andre Soriano original," Johnson said. “It’s actually made out of a MAGA flag.”

    Soriano is known for his custom "Trump gowns." His designs have been featured on the 2017 Grammys red carpet.

    Despite the theme, Johnson said all were welcome. This includes her lifelong friend and maid of honor, who is also a Democrat.

    “We were gonna do our photos with the Trump hats and she said, ‘You know I love you, but I can’t wear the Trump hat,'" Johnson said. "I said, ‘It’s OK. It’s OK. Just wear a red hat. We still love you. We can have completely different opinions about everything and still love each other.”

    Not everyone in the couple's life was as accepting. The groom's father refused to attend.

    "He sent us a text message," Johnson said. "It said, ‘As long as you support that racist in the White House, I won’t be attending your wedding.’ Which is sad but we did have a lot of people that loved us and showed up.”

    Johnson said if she were invited to a President Barack Obama-themed wedding, she would be happy to attend.

    https://fox17online.com/2019/07/10/m...esident-trump/

  22. #22
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    It's their wedding. They can do what they want. I would've attended if invited and contributed red, white, and blue fruit pizza for the reception.

    There would've been more real people at that wedding than the idiotic one down the road with the reception at the country club.

  23. #23
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    14 Audra & Jeff Johnson: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

    Quote Originally Posted by Kathy in FL View Post
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/heavy.c...f-johnson/amp/

    Better article here. On my phone so can’t post entire article. A couple of facts:

    1. Jeff Johnson is a former marine. Though my understanding is once a marine forever a marine. He wore his full dress uniform.
    2. One of the maids is a dem and she was not pressured to wear a MAGA hat.
    3. Audra is a anti abortion activist.

    Article is decent.
    Kathy,
    Here is the article....
    Texican....
    -----------------------------

    Audra & Jeff Johnson: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know
    By Igor Derysh

    Updated Jul 12, 2019 at 9:19am

    Jeff & Audra Johnson

    Facebook/Audra Johnson Jeff & Audra Johnson: Michigan couple holds MAGA-themed wedding.

    Audra and Jeff Johnson are a Michigan couple who got married at a Make America Great Again-themed wedding on July 4.

    The Johnsons posted photos of their nuptials in Kalamazoo on social media. The images show Jeff Johnson, a Marine veteran, in full uniform while Audra wears a white dress that says “Make America Great Again” on the front and “Trump” on the train.

    “It looked like America threw up all over my wedding and I’m not sorry,” Audra told WXMI.

    Audra said the reception was a celebration of President Donald Trump. Groomsmen donned “don’t tread on me” cufflinks and each reception table had a petition for an anti-abortion “heartbeat bill.”

    Audra told the outlet that her maid of honor, a Democrat, was welcome despite not wanting to wear a Trump hat. Her husband’s father, however, refused to show up.

    “As long as you support that racist in the White House, I won’t be attending your wedding,” he told the couple in a text, according to Audra.

    Here’s what you need to know:

    1. Audra Johnson Wore an Original Andre Soriano Dress

    Audra Johnson wore a dress designed by Andre Soriano. According to Soriano’s website, he makes custom “Trump gowns” that have been featured at the Grammys red carpet.

    Johnson’s dress said “Make America Great Again” on the front and “Trump” on the train.

    “The dress is actually an Andre Soriano original. It’s actually made out of a MAGA flag,” she told WXMI. “It looked like America threw up all over my wedding and I’m not sorry.”

    Soriano designed the “Build the Wall” gown singer Joy Villa wore to the 2019 Grammys red carpet, as well as the “Keep America Great” jacket worn by Ricky Rebel, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

    Soriano, a gay immigrant from the Philippines, said he was inspired to make Trump dresses after being “distraught” by the anti-Trump rhetoric at the Women’s March in Washington DC.

    “At the Women’s March in Washington, there [were] a lot of iconic people [who were] also my role models ever since I was [living] in the Philippines before I migrated here (to the United States),” he told Paste Magazine. “When I was a teenager…younger, actually, before I was a teenager… I looked up to a lot of celebrities like Madonna, Meryl Streep, Ashely Judd, Robert DeNiro and they were totally, instead of being a good role model, they were creating hostility and hatred towards the new President.”

    2. Jeff Johnson’s Father Refused to Attend

    Audra Johnson told WXMI that her husband’s father refused to attend because of his opposition to Trump.

    “He sent us a text message,” Johnson said. “It said, ‘As long as you support that racist in the White House, I won’t be attending your wedding.’ Which is sad but we did have a lot of people that loved us and showed up.”

    On the other hand, she said, her maid of honor attended despite being a Democrat who is not being a fan of the president.

    “We were gonna do our photos with the Trump hats and she said, ‘You know I love you, but I can’t wear the Trump hat,'” Johnson told WXMI. “I said, ‘It’s OK. It’s OK. Just wear a red hat. We still love you. We can have completely different opinions about everything and still love each other.”

    3. Jeff Johnson is a Marine Veteran

    Jeff Johnson is a Marine veteran, according to CBS News. He is also a former Over the Road Driver at CRST Expedited, according to his Facebook page.

    Johnson wore his full Marine dress uniform and was pictured holding a gun at points during the wedding.

    “Being a patriotic wedding, we really did encourage people to do whatever they felt comfortable with, if they wanted to open-carry, if they wanted to conceal-carry,” Johnson told CBS News.

    His groomsmen wore “don’t tread on me” cufflinks.

    Audra told CBS News that their wedding photos have received both support and criticism.

    “Amazing patriots said they love the dress and support us. But then there’s the other side, where we’ve gotten threats, and there’s been really nasty comments,” she said.

    “A lot of the comments are ‘It’s a racist wedding.’ I’m the granddaughter of a Filipino immigrant, my husband’s black,” she explained. “I think what I want people to take from this is there’s a stereotype of Trump supporters flying around out there and maybe some of them are like that, but most of us aren’t like that.”

    4. Audra Johnson is An Activist With The Michigan Heartbeat Coalition

    Audra Johnson works at West Michigan Patriots 4 Trump and is a Kent County Captain at the Michigan Heartbeat Coalition, an anti-abortion group, according to her Facebook page.

    Johnson said she is a Republican precinct delegate in Michigan.

    Johnson grew up in Michigan, attending East Kentwood High School. Her college is listed as the Asgard University of the Gods, which claims on its Facebook page to be based in Norway.

    5. Wedding Guests Were Asked to Sign Anti-Abortion Petitions

    Every table at the Johnsons’ wedding featured a petition for an anti-abortion “heartbeat bill.”

    So-called “heartbeat bills” are intended to bar abortion after a “fetal heartbeat” is detected, which can happen as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, before many women know they are pregnant.

    The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists said in a statement to The Guardian that the term “heartbeat bill” is misleading.

    “What is interpreted as a heartbeat in these bills is actually electrically induced flickering of a portion of the fetal tissue that will become the heart as the embryo develops,” ACOG President Dr. Ted Anderson told the outlet, adding that the term “[does] not reflect medical accuracy or clinical understanding.”

    “Thus, ACOG does not use the term ‘heartbeat’ to describe these legislative bans on

    abortion because it is misleading language, out of step with the anatomical and clinical realities of that stage of pregnancy,” Anderson said, calling instead for policies based on “science and evidence.”

    Published Jul 12, 2019 at 9:19am

  24. #24
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    I can't believe it took TWO sources to find out this happened in Kalamazoo!

    That's a stone's throw from my AO, and I can tell you, normally that place is as blue as Lake Michigan. It went HILLARY in the last election. But there are still plenty of rural holdouts in Kalamazoo County--check out Schoolcraft or Vicksburg sometime--and that's probably where a chunk of this came from.

  25. #25
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    Kids just having fun...the original author certainly imagined the "hate" part.

    Wouldn't be my choice of theme for a wedding, but each to his/her own. People are more and more baffling to me every day.

  26. #26
    No words.

    ...at least none that a lady would utter.
    Thoughts are things. Thus I'm careful of the thoughts I think, & the company I keep.
    I myself am entirely made of flaws, stiched together with good intentions.
    MOON™~> all in the ignorant opinion of an uneducated slip of a woman who keeps forgetting to mind her manners, know her place and bow down to her betters

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by parocan View Post
    They just learned who are the real people in their lives that can be counted on.
    The rest can be ignored.
    Why not go get married and save all the drama. Justice of the Peace worked for us 50 years ago. No drama, just a $12 license.

  28. #28
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    Because that's not what they wanted to do. Isn't that the joy of living in a supposed free county.
    Personally I don't believe in it at. why should I pay money for the gov to say I am allowed to get married.

  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by jward View Post
    No words.

    ...at least none that a lady would utter.
    Ditto...

    ... and I am not a lady.

  30. #30
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    That sounds pretty good; I've never heard of that...

    Quote Originally Posted by Meemur View Post
    It's their wedding. They can do what they want. I would've attended if invited and contributed red, white, and blue fruit pizza for the reception.
    Got a recipe?
    Proud member Alt-Right group "Scientists For Trump". (Smart Americans know he's right.)
    A man should only take a wife whose Bible includes Genesis, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Colossians, Malachi, Isaiah, Ephesians, Corinthians, Hebrews, Timothy, Titus, Proverbs, Mark, Peter & Revelation. Ecclesiastes 7:28 (NIV) tells him the odds.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faroe View Post
    One of those articles that says more about the author than the subject she is supposedly writing about.
    BINGO!!!!! and what a hate-filled lying beeeeee- atch she(?) is!!!
    "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NKJV)

    III

    Raging Deplorable - we do NOT forget; we do NOT forgive; we are LEGION

  32. #32
    They saved money by making sure the most hateful and judgemental family members didn't attend. Win-win.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by parocan View Post
    Because that's not what they wanted to do. Isn't that the joy of living in a supposed free county.
    Personally I don't believe in it at. why should I pay money for the gov to say I am allowed to get married.
    Sure it's a free country. However, if you've got your closest relatives pissed at you, IMHO, you're starting your marriage off wrong. "Personally I don't believe in it at. why should I pay money for the gov to say I am allowed to get married." I agree with your statement. Not only were we required to get a marriage license, we had to take blood tests to prove neither of us had STD's. I have no idea if that's still the case. The theory behind that was so you didn't give an STD to your babies. There's still laws in effect for marriage and community property. If you aren't hooked up legally, the government does punish you. Also, I wouldn't make my wedding about Trump or anyone else, it's about me and the guy.

  34. #34
    Her stance in the one photo makes her appear to have a lot of attitude, the kind you put on in the blink of an eye, the scary kind.
    The marine looks like obama.

    Not my cup of tea as weddings go, now the reception would be a different story. Pure white for the wedding, then get the USA USA party rolling.

  35. #35
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    Some chance that they won't raise their kids to be commies.

    More important, by far.
    Proud Infidel...............and Cracker

    Member: Nowski Brigade

    Deplorable


  36. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Ractivist View Post
    Her stance in the one photo makes her appear to have a lot of attitude, the kind you put on in the blink of an eye, the scary kind.
    The marine looks like obama.

    Not my cup of tea as weddings go, now the reception would be a different story. Pure white for the wedding, then get the USA USA party rolling.
    Sounds like what they did...

    While she walked down the grass aisle in a standard wedding gown, it was discarded pretty quick in favor of a custom made mess dress by Andre Soriano
    Summerthyme

  37. #37
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    I really wish people would take marriage serious again. This freak show is a case in point. People need to show common decency in politics like they used to while in public.

    Oh wait....the other side believes in aborting children after they've been born, persecution of anyone who doesn't want Homo agenda preached everywhere, they hate the founding stock of America and now they're pushing pedo's. Yeah go ahead send them into Anaphylactic Shock with a red hat.
    Hwæt! Wé Gárdena in géardagum þéodcyninga þrym gefrúnon· hú ðá æþelingas ellen fremedon. - Listen! We of the Spear-Danes in the days of yore, of those clan-kings heard of their glory. How the worthy princes performed courageous deeds!

  38. #38
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    Not only were we required to get a marriage license, we had to take blood tests to prove neither of us had STD's. I have no idea if that's still the case. The theory behind that was so you didn't give an STD to your babies.


    Wrong. The blood tests were to make sure that neither party had German measles, which causes severe birth defects in children.

    No one had STDs in the 1800’s when you got married...

  39. #39
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    I really wish people would take marriage serious [sic] again.


    I’ll answer this part. Back in “ye olden times”, marriage was a solemn occasion, almost worthy of a funeral. Today, the young consider marriage to be a “celebration of life,” a joyous occasion, where fun and revelry for everyone is encouraged. I must admit, I like the new paradigm better than the old.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis Olson View Post
    Not only were we required to get a marriage license, we had to take blood tests to prove neither of us had STD's. I have no idea if that's still the case. The theory behind that was so you didn't give an STD to your babies.


    Wrong. The blood tests were to make sure that neither party had German measles, which causes severe birth defects in children.

    No one had STDs in the 1800’s when you got married...
    Yeah right...okay....


    Are blood tests still required before marriage?

    A handful of states still require blood tests for couples planning to marry. Most do not. (For information on which states require them, see Chart: State Marriage License and Blood Test Requirements.

    Premarital blood tests check for venereal disease or rubella
    . The tests may also disclose the presence of genetic disorders such as sickle-cell anemia or Tay-Sachs disease. You will not be tested for HIV, but in some states, the person who tests you will provide you with information about HIV and AIDS. In most states, blood tests can be waived for people over 50 and for other reasons, including pregnancy or sterility.

    If either partner tests positive for a venereal disease, what happens depends on the state where you are marrying. Some states may refuse to issue you a marriage license. Other states may allow you to marry as long as you both know that the disease is present.

    https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclope...onies-faq.html

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