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SOFT NEWS Woodchucks join the resistance and eat Paul Ryan's car
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
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    Woodchucks join the resistance and eat Paul Ryan's car

    Yea! Go Woodchucks.
    SS



    Woodchucks join the resistance and eat Paul Ryan's car

    The Republican House speaker has revealed that a family of hungry rodents has put his car out of commission

    Arwa Mahdawi

    Fri 13 Jul 2018 11.47 EDT
    Last modified on Fri 13 Jul 2018 13.19 EDT



    Please send your thoughts and Amtrak prayers for Paul Ryan as news emerges that his car has been devoured by a family of hungry woodchucks, a sharp-toothed member of the marmot family also known as a groundhog.

    The vandalism took place while Ryan was in Washington, and had left his Chevy Suburban parked at his mother’s house in Wisconsin over the winter. A family of woodchucks made a home in the chassis and gnawed their way through the wiring. Ryan told an audience at the Economic Club of Washington on Thursday that he only discovered the pests when he took his car to a dealer to be checked. Ryan hasn’t actually driven the car for three years, as he has a security detail and is chauffeured around.


    So do woodchucks normally destroy Suburbans, or were these particular rodents just angry about having their healthcare taken away? Well, the furry creatures do have a habit of criminal damage. The National Park Service website warns the public to protect their vehicles before going for a hike, noting that marmots “have been known to dine on radiator hoses and car wiring”. They’re apparently also fond of burrowing away into the engine compartment and hitching a ride with an unsuspecting driver.

    In April, Ryan announced that he would not be running for re-election. In a final attempt to seem like an ordinary American, he told the audience he was going to buy a Ford truck to replace his rodent-destroyed car. One can only imagine he will use it to drive to a dealer and get himself a Porsche.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...chucks-eat-car
    “Then the creatures of the high air answered to the battle, .., and the woods trembled and the wind sobbed telling them, the earth shook,; the witches of the valley, and the wolves of the forests, howled from every quarter and on every side of the armies, urging them against one another.”
    ― Lady Gregory, Gods and Fighting Men: The Story of the Tuatha De Danaan and the Fianna of Ireland

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    And there you have it.
    F..k with The Trump and he will have a bunch of woodchucks eat your car.

    The Curse of Trump continues.
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA
    SS
    “Then the creatures of the high air answered to the battle, .., and the woods trembled and the wind sobbed telling them, the earth shook,; the witches of the valley, and the wolves of the forests, howled from every quarter and on every side of the armies, urging them against one another.”
    ― Lady Gregory, Gods and Fighting Men: The Story of the Tuatha De Danaan and the Fianna of Ireland

  3. #3
    ROTFLMAO. Trump curse, indeed!

    Summerthyme

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Maidenhead
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    26,190
    The Russians did it!!
    What is the lake of fire? What is it's purpose? Is the lake of fire eternal hell? Is there any hope of escape for those cast into this lake?
    http://bible-truths.com/lake1.html

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Bahahaha!!

    Perfect!!
    Psalm 147:11
    The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2001
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    Behind Enemy Lines
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    151,197
    How much Ford could a woodchuck hoard

    If a woodchuck could hoard Ford?

  7. #7
    IIRC, reading... the male chucks in that area started to mark there territory by scenting the under carriages of automobiles. Then another male comes by, gets mad and tares stuff up while putting his scent on it. Then another male comes by.....

    Save the chucks they say....

    I say target practice on the chucks, just to keep them in check.

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    N. Minnesota
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    11,079
    Damned varmints.

    I dunno. I really still can't work up a hate-on for Paul Ryan.
    Instead, I give him a lot of credit for walking away from the whole D.C. mess.

    Again, remember, they had to beg him to take that cursed Speaker's job. He never wanted it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    MN
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    2,105
    I've shot two this summer, and one of the dogs got another one. They can do a lot of damage.
    Was known as dairyfarmer but sold the cows.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackpine Savage View Post
    I've shot two this summer, and one of the dogs got another one. They can do a lot of damage.
    Are you referring to Lyin Ryans or woodchucks?
    SS
    “Then the creatures of the high air answered to the battle, .., and the woods trembled and the wind sobbed telling them, the earth shook,; the witches of the valley, and the wolves of the forests, howled from every quarter and on every side of the armies, urging them against one another.”
    ― Lady Gregory, Gods and Fighting Men: The Story of the Tuatha De Danaan and the Fianna of Ireland

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shacknasty Shagrat View Post
    Are you referring to Lyin Ryans or woodchucks?
    SS
    Ha, just practicing on the four legged ones as of yet.
    Was known as dairyfarmer but sold the cows.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Happy on the mountain
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    Ryan hasn’t actually driven the car for three years, as he has a security detail and is chauffeured around.

    Yup. Mr. Normie 'Murkin there.
    The wonder of our time isn’t how angry we are at politics and politicians; it’s how little we’ve done about it. - Fran Porretto
    -http://bastionofliberty.blogspot.com/2016/10/a-wholly-rational-hatred.html

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dozdoats View Post
    Ryan hasn’t actually driven the car for three years, as he has a security detail and is chauffeured around.

    Yup. Mr. Normie 'Murkin there.
    Ummmm...he's third in line to the Big Chair. You bet he has security and a chauffeur 24/7.
    He won't be normal again until he kisses that Speaker job goodbye.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Hfcomms View Post
    The Russians did it!!
    i bet they were Russian woodchucks.
    Consilio Non Impetu (By wisdom, not by rashness)

  15. #15
    But Lyin' Ryan, the obstructer, is a member of La Resistance, only one step above Antifa (or is it below).
    The Woodchucks are Trumpsters, MAGAmen (mammals), or Swamp Drainers.
    Definitely not the Resistance.

  16. #16
    Join Date
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    Where hiking boots go to die
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    IMHO ground hogs rank in the animal kingdom falls somewhere between mosquitoes and cockroaches.
    Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Old Gray Mare View Post
    IMHO ground hogs rank in the animal kingdom falls somewhere between mosquitoes and cockroaches.
    Agree. Ground hogs do make great targets. Why I got a 22- 250, years ago.

    Need a dedicated area where they can live with out being a PITA, but yet avalibal to target practice but not wipe them out. Suckers need to be managed.

    But the anti's anything related to guns...save the varmints they cry... sickening.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Shacknasty Shagrat View Post
    Are you referring to Lyin Ryans or woodchucks?
    SS

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