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SOFT NEWS Airplane Passenger Unleashes Ferocious Mega-Fart, Forces Landing and Evacuation
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  1. #1
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    Airplane Passenger Unleashes Ferocious Mega-Fart, Forces Landing and Evacuation

    I checked four sources until I was satisfied this was a bona-fide story.

    Fair Use Cited
    ---------------
    ‘Passed gas’ forces passengers from plane at RDU, spokesperson says
    By CBS North Carolina
    Published: July 16, 2017, 5:44 pm

    RALEIGH, N.C. (WNCN) — A person who “passed gas” on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.

    The incident happened when passengers on the flight became ill with nausea and headaches, according to a spokesperson with Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

    The flight, which was not identified by RDU officials, landed at the airport around 4 p.m. when the incident was reported.

    All the passengers were taken off the plane and after the incident was investigated it was determined that a passenger “passed gas,” the official said.

    Authorities later said that the incident was a “medical call” and directed all questions to Wake County EMS.

    RDU officials did not identify where the plane was from or its destination or what type of aircraft was involved.

    http://wncn.com/2017/07/16/passed-ga...esperson-says/
    "The most intriguing point for the historian is that where history and legend meet."

    "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who think they are free."

    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


  2. #2
    I resemble this story......

  3. #3
    I don't care about the plane or its destination. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID HE EAT?

  4. #4
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    I could see this maybe on a Piper Cub 2 seater, but on an airliner?
    A 1965 To The Present Dime Is Worth $.10 Today.
    A 1964 To The Present Dollar Bill Is Worth $1.00 Today.
    A 1964 Or Earlier Silver Dime Is Worth Over $1.25 Today.

    A lie told often enough becomes the truth - Lenin

  5. #5
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    That is indeed impressive. Knowing what the perp had for dinner could prove highly useful at a radical meeting.
    “And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.”
    ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

  6. #6
    Once when we were in Saudi, I cleared out a GP Medium tent of about 20 guys. MRE's were not agreeing with me.

  7. #7
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    OP this thread stinks!


    But it does have comedic potential.
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
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  8. #8
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    I just had to check this out!

  9. #9
    By the way, why is this thread Soft News? This could be the weapon we need to combat ISIS. Or that little fat guy in NK.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by bw View Post
    By the way, why is this thread Soft News? This could be the weapon we need to combat ISIS. Or that little fat guy in NK.
    I'm on it......off to Taco Bell!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Garryowen View Post
    That is indeed impressive. Knowing what the perp had for dinner could prove highly useful at a radical meeting.
    It sure could.

    One (or more) Deplorable eating that "special" meal could break up a group of antifa
    protesters or sjw's in a heart beat.
    A 1965 To The Present Dime Is Worth $.10 Today.
    A 1964 To The Present Dollar Bill Is Worth $1.00 Today.
    A 1964 Or Earlier Silver Dime Is Worth Over $1.25 Today.

    A lie told often enough becomes the truth - Lenin

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by bw View Post
    By the way, why is this thread Soft News? This could be the weapon we need to combat ISIS. Or that little fat guy in NK.
    The mother of all fart bombs lol

  13. #13
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    You can still get liquid ass online.

    Below is an actual liquid ass review on amazon:

    Verified Purchase



    This stuff litterally smells like ass. Bad Ass. Horrible Ass. You need to go to the doctor Ass. Tried it out last night on my boyfriend. Here is a summary of my night:
    5pm: Boyfriend on laptop in livingroom. He had been there for hours, so I decided it was time for him to get up.
    5:05pm: Sprayed Liquid Ass three times on a sweater in the other room, then nonchalantly dropped it in the livingroom, about ten feet away from the boyfriend,
    5:06pm: Boyfriend asks if I forgot to turn the bathroom fan on.
    5:08pm: Boyfriend comments on how stinky the cats poop is.
    5:15pm: Boyfriend, with his shirt covering his nose, scoops all three cat boxes in hopes of eliminating the wretched stench.
    5:45pm: Boyfriend goes on a mad hunt, insisting that the cats must have crapped somewhere in the house. By this time, the smell has engulfed the appartment (a small two bedroom.) He picks up every piece of laundry on the floor, throws the bathroom mats in the washing machine and finds a face mask and gloves to put on. (I am a nurse and keep some supplies at home.)
    6:25pm: Boyfriend becomes convinced the cats must have stepped in poo and tracked it all over the house. After smelling all four of the cats, he decides the cats must have cleaned themselves by now, At this point, after seeing all of the good this spray had done, I sprayed it thrice more; once in each bedroom and once in the livingroom.
    6:30pm: Boyfriend sweeps and mops all of the tiled floors, sprinkles baking soda over the carpet and vacuums the entire place. Durring this time, I make sure my bottle is hidden really well. I can't afford to get caught on this one.
    7:30pm: Boyfriend becomes convinced there must be spoiled food somewhere. He takes out the trash and loads the dishwasher.
    11pm: While finishing up the laundry, Boyfriend discovered the sweater. He decides the cat must have wiped his paws on it and says we need to make an appointment with the vet because the smell is concerning.

    I will be using this spray about once a month for the rest of my life. Thank you, Liquid Ass. Thank you.
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by BetterLateThanNever View Post
    I could see this maybe on a Piper Cub 2 seater, but on an airliner?
    It was likely a "cascading" event.

    After the initial turgid aerosol release fogged down a few rows, the resultant nausea and vomiting engulfed the entire cabin in a cacophony of odiferous expulsions.

    It must have been damn grim until they were able to land.
    "The most intriguing point for the historian is that where history and legend meet."

    "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who think they are free."

    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


  15. #15
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    Did it etch the windows?
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. FRA

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Baron View Post
    It was likely a "cascading" event.

    After the initial turgid aerosol release fogged down a few rows, the resultant nausea and vomiting engulfed the entire cabin in a cacophony of odiferous expulsions.

    It must have been damn grim until they were able to land.
    Politely known as a hot house event
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. FRA

  17. #17
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    "The most intriguing point for the historian is that where history and legend meet."

    "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who think they are free."

    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


  18. #18
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    Ah yes, jackass at its best err worst
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. FRA

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BetterLateThanNever View Post
    I could see this maybe on a Piper Cub 2 seater, but on an airliner?
    Recycled air is the culprit here.
    People are quick to confuse and despise confidence as arrogance but that is common amongst those who have never accomplished anything in their lives and who have always played it safe not willing to risk failure.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadowlark View Post
    I will be using this spray about once a month for the rest of my life. Thank you, Liquid Ass. Thank you.
    You're a bad girl, Meadowlark LOL

  21. #21
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    The problem is when two people get on an elevator and one breaks wind, everyone knows who did it.
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
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    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. FRA

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seer View Post
    You're a bad girl, Meadowlark LOL
    Who says I am a girl?
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
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  23. #23
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  24. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadowlark View Post
    Who says I am a girl?
    Should I have said you're a bad it? Then you really would be pissed off lol.

  25. #25
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    Stench was a secret weapon in WW2 ...

    See http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles...rn-stink-bombs

    Can't C&P ....
    The wonder of our time isn’t how angry we are at politics and politicians; it’s how little we’ve done about it. - Fran Porretto
    -http://bastionofliberty.blogspot.com/2016/10/a-wholly-rational-hatred.html

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Dozdoats View Post
    Stench was a secret weapon in WW2 ...
    It's still very effective.

  27. #27
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    The deadly one cheek sneak.

  28. #28
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    Too bad there wasn't a dog to blame
    "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."
    -John Adams, America’s Second President

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meadowlark View Post
    Did it etch the windows?
    Dunno

    But they couldn't roll em' down.
    Proud Infidel...............and Cracker

    Member: Nowski Brigade

    Deplorable


  30. #30
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    A friend of mine was at a junior college graduation. One of the programs trained hearing aid dogs and those who trained them. During the college presidents commencement speech, one of the dogs standing at the podium farted, LOUDLY! It was carried over the PA system. Needless to say, there was some amusement.
    Official TB2K Comedy Relief ; I resemble that remark! ; Aloha Snackbar; Nuke a Gay Whale For Christ and other Political Incorrectness
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    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. FRA

  31. #31
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    Blazing Saddles - beans around the campfire.

  32. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis Olson View Post
    Blazing Saddles - beans around the campfire.
    I loved that movie lol

  33. #33
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    Blame it on the dog
    It is sunny here in Arizona :)

  34. #34


    Meadowlark, please tell me that's a real product!

  35. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by cjoi View Post
    Meadowlark, please tell me that's a real product!
    Order enough of it and you get free delivery! The recommended age for the purchaser is like 10 to 15.

  36. #36
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    The very worst fart I ever smelled was when I had some friends over years ago.

    One of the husbands was sitting in the rocking chair acting all innocent. People started gagging.

    He finally got up and went in the bathroom and had some bad colon blow.

    Don't know what he had eaten before that, but somehow I thought it must smell like a dead raccoon after a week in the swamp.

    So when's the Revolution? God or Money? Choose.

  37. #37
    The person must have eaten broccoli and something with sour cream, perhaps a baked potato.

  38. #38
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    31 people on the gas thread!
    "If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots." -Jeff Foxworthy -Hey! Maybe not anymore!!!

    Mathew 24:6 "See to it you are not alarmed." (Though He also said to "keep watch" and to build your house "on the Rock".)

  39. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by DannyBoy View Post
    31 people on the gas thread!
    We found a subject worthy of our community brainpower.

  40. #40
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    Probiotics and carbs could do that.

    I've been kicked out of my own living room for being rancid because of a certain probiotic.

    Threw that crap away.
    Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. - Mary Schmich

    If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

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