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Story The Egg - Short Story
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Where hiking boots go to die
    Posts
    8,436

    The Egg - Short Story

    Yesterday evening I encountered “da bomb”. A truly spoiled goose egg exploded in my hands as I removed it from the nest. It sprayed a liquid the color and consistency of mustard in every direction including mine. Running from the area of impact retching and gasping I quickly ascertained I could not out run the stench on me. Hose water did not seem to diluted it just disseminate it.

    Into the house; stripped the outer layer of clothing, tossed it into the washer and slammed the appliance door in the hope of squelching the foul stench. No such luck. Ran toward the bathroom while trying to warn the kids to close their eyes or be scarred for life! DH smelled my approach well in advance of my appearance and added some kind words of encouragement that I will not repeat for fear they might send any delicate minded youth running for safe spaces.

    To give you a poor idea of the level of the stench from THE EGG: DH had just finished taking care of the livestock that included an intact male goat. If you have to wonder if you have ever been in the presence of an intact male goat you haven’t. You’d know. There would be no doubt in your mind. If you had taken care of said animal, there would be no doubt in the minds of anyone in your surrounding area either. The Egg had DH running for fresh air. Unfortunately, he went outside right into the area where the explosion occurred.

    By this time I’d hit the shower. Grateful for the warm water and the hope that enough of it would eradicate the stench. This is when I made the unfortunate discovery it was in my hair. Multiple washing's of my hair with shampoo, hand soap and body wash managed to quell the smell. It would not get it off my hands. Additional washing's with Comet, regular dish soap and Dawn removed at least one layer of skin and thankfully brought it down to a degree where the retching stopped.

    I asked Dh if the shower helped for fear that my ability to smell had been adversely effected by the odor. After a tentative sniff from across the room he signified there was a major improvement in my aroma or now lack of one. DH must have understood how upsetting the incident was and I appreciatively noticed how he generously gave me more than my fair share of room in the bed last night.

    The End
    Last edited by Old Gray Mare; 07-17-2016 at 05:29 PM.
    Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    nw mountains
    Posts
    2,222

    18

    Oh my, if it is worse than a buck or a skunk that is saying something. Love the way you wrote it up.
    The word Bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Where hiking boots go to die
    Posts
    8,436
    Quote Originally Posted by ted View Post
    Oh my, if it is worse than a buck or a skunk that is saying something. Love the way you wrote it up.
    Thank you. The outside of the house smells much better today. Next time DH moves the eggs and I get to take care of the goat!
    Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    eastern West Tennessee
    Posts
    165
    Something I learned cooking with Jalapenos, washing with warm/hot water opens pores in the skin. Open pores allow whatever is on your skin to stay in your skin. Dry wash by working liquid soap/shampoo in first then wash/rinse with as cold water as you can stand. Rewash with warmer water as needed then final rinse with water as warm as you can stand.
    The difference between being smart and being wise:
    Being smart is learning from your own mistakes.
    Being wise is learning from the mistakes of others.
    My life has given others many opportunities to be wise.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    State WA
    Posts
    11,232
    Yep sadly I know all about rotten eggs and billy's as well. It always is funny when it's in the past.

  6. #6
    Very Good Thank you for the story.
    Wayne

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