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HEALTH Can Elderly Patients With Dementia Consent To Sex?
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    The loose buckle of the bible belt
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    Can Elderly Patients With Dementia Consent To Sex?

    Bryan Gruley, reporter-at-large for Bloomberg News, talks with Melissa Block about his two-part feature story on sex and nursing home patients with dementia. One key question is whether those with dementia are truly able to consent. How nursing homes deal with this, or not, is increasingly becoming an issue as baby boomers enter nursing homes.

    I'm posting about this story even before the audio or transcript is available on-line because of it's importance. Even Reagan SCOTUS appointee comes into the story.

    Audio for this story from All Things Considered will be available at approximately 7:00 p.m. ET.

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=204580868

  2. #2
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    Jul 2006
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    Tulsa, OK
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    I work at an alzheimers facility, and yes, they can, and they do.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2003
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    Over here
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    My aunt works at various nursing home handling recreational activities, and she often wonders if she's needed because the residents seem content with the recreational activities available in the next room.

    She said STD's run rampant in nursing homes. So yes they can, and do consent.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    The Great State Of Alabama
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    3,991
    Quote Originally Posted by Cag3db1rd View Post
    I work at an alzheimers facility, and yes, they can, and they do.
    Yep. My ex wifes grandmother disappeared one night at the nursing home she was in. They had called us to let us know. When we all got to the home, she had been found. She was in the stairwell getting buffed by some old geaser.
    It is not enough to learn from books and from schools. Learn from the trees, and the water, and the animals. Listen and see. To learn from books is to learn only what man knows. To listen and see the world, is to learn from what man forgot.

  5. #5
    I consent, I consent!

    Best regards
    Doc

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    DFW, Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cag3db1rd View Post
    I work at an alzheimers facility, and yes, they can, and they do.
    They just don't remember it the next day! jk
    "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."
    -John Adams, America’s Second President

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
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    Hoosier-at-heart
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    I was a nurse's aide and needed a bar of soap for a bed bath of a bedridden patient. I knew an unopened bar of Dial soap was in the men's shower room and walked in on a senior couple in the shower room. The female bent over the sink, gripping it so she would not fall, her metal walker next to her. His pants on the floor at his ankles. They looked at me, eyes wide, would I report them? No. I turned and walked away. I can't stand seeing dogs get castrated either. God meant for his creation to have pleasure. This was in 1981. They were in their 70's and long dead by now. Has to be consensual though. Mandatory!

  8. #8
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    Jul 2012
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    South Carolina
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    Why not? Should they be deprived of one of the finer things in life?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2001
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    Job hunting in Santo, TX
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    39,216
    Oh My GAWD!!!!

    Ask ANY Nursing Home manager.



    In a neighborhood Skilled Nursing Facility/Assisted Care Center the guys under 70 are COVETED by the ladies. ONE of the jokes told RELIC and I by the owner was about the one guy who had a regular route around the Home....Mornings Mon, and Thurs here, afternoons there, morning Tues and Fri here, afternoons there...etc etc with special times and arrangements available....


    Yes, if your parents are going into a NH, you DO need to have "The Talk" with them....
    I would STILL rather fight an insurgency (from EITHER SIDE) than an epidemic!

    "I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing....only I will remain"

    Frank Herbert "Dune" "Bene Gesserit Anti-Fear Litany"


    http://bluemudpatriot.wordpress.com/

  10. #10
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    Dont always know if the consent part is answered but they sure get their freakie on. We had one roving lothario that hit a diffrernt gal every night. Nursing super had to have a little talk with him about his activities.
    Do as thou will, lest ye harm none

    @FatTurkeyFarm on twitter

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
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    just over the next hill
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    I suspect it isn't always consensual, based on my experiences working in a nursing home back in the '70's.

    Some of the comments here sound a bit flippant, given that non-consensual sexual contact has other names.... If a patient with dementia is sufficiently impaired as to not be able to make medical decisions or enter into contracts, why assume that such a patient has full faculties to make decisions for or against sexual activity? Or is it just not that big a deal if they can't consent?
    Last edited by FREEBIRD; 07-22-2013 at 09:59 PM.
    "You're not living in the story the world tells you you're living in. The story is not about the Clash of Civilizations, the March of Progress, the American Dream, the Rise of Civilization or the Struggle of Race, Class, and Gender. It's about the triumph of Jesus Christ in rescuing us from this passing world and bringing us into eternal ecstasy and perfection."---Mark Shea

  12. #12
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    North Central Louisiana
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    I'm pretty sure my mother would.

    Judy

  13. #13
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    If my Wife & I get to that point, we will have Viagra and Canabis stocked up in our gear... Tell the kids to call before a visit...

  14. #14
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    As we all get older, remember the immortal words (almost) of Crosby, Stills and Nash:

    If you can't remember the one you love

    Love the one you're with.



    Henry in 29 Palms

  15. #15
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    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by helunnjr View Post
    As we all get older, remember the immortal words (almost) of Crosby, Stills and Nash:

    If you can't remember the one you love

    Love the one you're with.



    Henry in 29 Palms
    On a slightly more poignant level, I am reminded of the words of the late Harry Chapin:

    "If you want to come here with me
    then that is alright with me
    Cuz' I've been oh so lonely
    Lovin' someone is a better way to be".
    "Talking is easy and everyone is wise after the event."

    Ernest Joyce

  16. #16
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    Aug 2007
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    Central Illinois..halfway between here and there.
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    Can they legally give consent? Doubtful since they cannot always be held accountable for their actions. Now, enjoying it is another question!
    Needs more cowbell.
    "The Constitution only gives people the right to persue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." --Benjamin Franklin
    Proud member of fly-over country

  17. #17
    Well that would depend on how badly they suffer from dementia.

    If one person had most of their cognitive abilities while the other had little - the prior wouldn't have the ability to consent. (but it still happens)

  18. #18
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    Jul 2012
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    northern ontario
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    thank you for not posting vids

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by dieseltrooper View Post
    If my Wife & I get to that point, we will have Viagra and Canabis stocked up in our gear... Tell the kids to call before a visit...

    Yep

  20. #20
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    Jul 2001
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    Hoosier-at-heart
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    I knew both patients, they were in the ambulatory wing and carried on a puppy love thing in the day room. Both had their faculties intact. Had it been other women in the facility in the bedridden wing, or feeling up a wheelchair granny, I would have reported it. Their shock at being caught at what they surely thought was a perfect place to meet, in the men's shower room while we were busy cleaning up from breakfast and making beds daily, ruined their trysting spot. Never saw them there again. My guess is they found some place in the shrubbery outside the rest of that summer. But love knows no age barriers.
    Not to be flippant as assault in facilities is rampant, mostly from male staffers on helpless females. This was different, they were equals, peers and fairly mobile considering their limitations. This was long before viagra too! Gives me hope for 70+

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by FREEBIRD View Post
    I suspect it isn't always consensual, based on my experiences working in a nursing home back in the '70's.

    Some of the comments here sound a bit flippant, given that non-consensual sexual contact has other names.... If a patient with dementia is sufficiently impaired as to not be able to make medical decisions or enter into contracts, why assume that such a patient has full faculties to make decisions for or against sexual activity? Or is it just not that big a deal if they can't consent?
    A good friend of mine quit her job at a nursing home because she was not allowed to protect the dementia patients from rape. These patients had no idea what was going on but because they didn't say no and didn't actually fight their elderly rapist off...no one cared. This friend was not wealthy and quitting her job was a financial hardship. However, she felt, as a Christian she could not stand by and watch. She felt that quitting would at least get the attention of some staff and give them something to think about. We did talk about this extensively....and she had no problem with 'consenting' adults. But when a married dementia patient, who clearly could not make decisions, was allowed to be raped, she had a very hard time looking the husband in the eyes when he came to visit.

    Freebird...I do think it is a big deal and it makes me sad to see the frequency of the problem.

    Willow
    "A meow massages the heart." Stewart McMillan

  22. #22
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    Mar 2003
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    St. Louis
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    Gross!!!! When I get to that point, I plan on playing video games ALL DAY!

  23. #23
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    Aug 2002
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    Willow---Thank you for giving a serious response. It's outrageous to think that patients can be raped and people both in and out of the immediate circumstance can think, "no big deal because they don't know the difference anyway".

    My parents are both dementia patients in a nursing home, btw, in another state, so my concerns go beyond my experiences working in that environment.
    "You're not living in the story the world tells you you're living in. The story is not about the Clash of Civilizations, the March of Progress, the American Dream, the Rise of Civilization or the Struggle of Race, Class, and Gender. It's about the triumph of Jesus Christ in rescuing us from this passing world and bringing us into eternal ecstasy and perfection."---Mark Shea

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