Fel By the Wayside

[Genevieve]

Kinda part of the whole story. Francine is hard to hammer down. But Fel is from a place, time, and experience that reactions to people are based on survival and not necessarily purely on emotion alone. Survival makes for strange bedfellows. This story is from Fel's eyes.

In her own way Fel is as "stunted" as Francine is, just in different areas. But as the story progresses we see Fel growing but we see Francine regressing. The question is why? Or was Francine always this way and Fel is just mature enough to see it and verbalize it in her story? Is it Fel's perception that confuses Francine's actions? I have the whole story outline written and you can look forward to a few more rollercoasters. Bwahahahahaha. (snicker, giggle)

If it's part of the story for it to be hard to pin down francine then it's no problem.
I usually get the characters in stories, so this is new to me.

I don't think it has anything to do with it being from Fel's view point.
And if Fel's "stunted" I just put it down to the fact that she's what? 16? Grew up in a violent atmosphere ( Outlands and her village), and had to do things and take care of herself and her sisters at an early age. She may not have the "manners" of these people, but she's mature in more ways than most.

I'm looking forward to seeing where I'm taken with this story lol

[sssarawolf]

Thank you that was a nice read this morning .

[robb1313]

I have the whole story outline written and you can look forward to a few more rollercoasters. Bwahahahahaha. (snicker, giggle)

That's just plain mean!!!!! <grin>

[Kathy in FL]

Anybody seen those new GEICO commercials with the little pig?

Wheeeeeeee! Whee, whee, wheeeeeeeeee!!!!
LOL!

--------------------------------------------------

Chapter 34

“Fel!! Fel! Open up … it’s cold out here and I can’t see to get in!”

What on earth?! I opened the door and then had to move fast to avoid Cor taking me down as he fell face forward in a mighty crash. At least I thought it was Cor … I was sure it was his voice. Problem was the man was buried under a bear. OK, not the whole bear but the skin.

I had my knife in hand and when I didn’t see any threat I thought it was just him being silly. Sometimes the boys of my town would drape an animal skin over themselves and then come to the long house trying to scare us but as I helped him to untangle himself where he was rolling around on the floor I realized it was something different all together. When I finally managed to lift the bear skin off of his face I got a wiff of fumes that were so thick and strong they probably cushioned his fall.

“Cor!” I yelped falling back for a moment to let the smell thin out a little bit. “Did you fall into a vat of Jonah’s spirits?!”

He moaned as he sat up. “Don’t you laugh.”

I hadn’t been up to that point but the look on his face in the firelight was enough to set me off. Cor doesn’t do drunk very well. I told him, “You better sober up or Francine is going to have a fit.”

After Cor and Francine made up a few days back things had settled down nicely. In fact they were back to billing and cooing enough to turn a sane person’s stomach; which is to say they were back to where they used to be. I couldn’t believe that Cor would mess that up.

“Francine is why I …” A noxious burp almost had me gagging.

“Ugh. Point that breath some other direction will you? Preferably outside the cabin if you don’t mind.”

Sounding pitiful he said, “I would if I could but she won’t let me.”

I shook my head. “That bear skin came off a male bear, not female, and if you will just hold still I’ll get it untangled from your legs and you can leave.”

“You’re still laughing aren’t you? Well, you won’t be laughing when I tell you it ain’t the bear that I’m talking about.”

Drunk he may be but Cor wasn’t completely senseless so I grew cautious. I got him untangled and watched him use the table to get to his feet then weave his way to the door almost running into the frame. He looked back at me piteously and said, “It’s stuck.”

I shook my head and went over to see what he was going on about. The cold air was coming into the cabin faster than the fire could push it out. Whatever he was on about I wanted it over with so I could close the door that he had fixed. And yes, he’d fixed it himself explaining that he believed if he broke something then he was responsible for repairing it or making it new somehow. He called it being personally responsible for the consequences of his actions. I called it being just bull headed enough to make people forgive him for acting like a donkey’s behind.

Outside the cabin a little ways down the path was a wheel barrow piled high with stuff and on the top of the pile was a rocker. Looking closer I realized the wheel was hung on up a root. “Oh for pity sake. I’ll pull, you push … where do you want this stuff? And hurry up, I’m in my night clothes and it’s turning off colder that a gravedigger’s daughter.”

Another burp made me really glad we were standing outside where the fumes could waft someplace besides the fire where they might lead to an explosion they were so powerful.

“Here,” he said looking like a hound trying to curry favor.

“Here where?”

“Here here. It’s for you,” he said going back to looking grumpy.

“Hmmm. Well I might can see why the rocker would fit here since you kinda broke the other one but since I don’t have a garden growing inside the cabin I don’t see why the barrow belongs here.”

Cor groaned. “Don’t Fel. My head hurts and this is such a mucked up mess and I need to explain it.”

We got the wheel barrow to the cabin door but instead of bringing it inside he brought what was in the barrow inside, starting with the rocker.

“Cor! Stop swinging that thing around. Just set it down and I’ll move it. Remind me to put a bell on you so that I can tell if you are heading to the spirit cellar. You are a menace when you are drunk.” I gurgled another laugh and he leaned against the doorframe for a moment and groaned.

“I’m telling you it’s not funny,” he grumped. “Here, take this stuff so I can tell you what she is up to now.”

He handed me a pile of sacks and crates then shut the door, barred it, and leaned against it. He started to slide to the floor but I caught him up and then turned him and said, “It’s time for you to go Cor. Go sleep it off.”

He really groaned pitifully then. “Fel I would if I could, I swear I would, but I can’t because she won’t let me.”

“Seeing as how I don’t see anyone stopping you …”

“All you have to do is look off towards the main house and I’m sure she is watching through her window … standing guard to make sure I don’t sneak back to the house. For all I know she has someone watching us and if word gets back to her our whole plan is going to fall through. You think the stink she just made the other day was bad? If she gets wind of our agreement I can’t guarantee either one or both of us won’t wind up like that grizzly did.”

Beginning to get concerned I said, “You mean Francine.”

“Of course I mean Francine! Who else could turn our nice, simple agreement into being akin to getting skinned alive?!” He stumbled to sit in the chair but it was full of stuff and so was the rocker so he settled on the edge of the bed, holding onto the post to keep himself from sliding off. In a drunk monologue where everything turned into one long sentence he lamented, “First she acts the way she acts then she acts like she has lost her mind then she is sorry and goes back to acting the way she is supposed to act then out of the blue she gets a bug that we aren’t a ‘real’ family like she grew up with and she won’t … won’t … well she just won’t until I spend a week in your bed so she can prove to that deranged family of hers that she’s doing things all right and proper! A … whole … flaming … week!”

I was flabbergasted. The problem was that the last sentence seemed to be the last I was going to get out of him. He’d fallen backwards on the bed and no matter how I poked at him he wouldn’t wake up. The breath coming off of him was turning my stomach so I finally just took his boots off, dragged what clothes off of him I could and rolled him into the bed so he wouldn’t catch his death of cold and leave me in an even worse pickle.

I stood there looking at him, shaking my head. He would give me news to drive me nuts and then pass out. How like a man.

[robb1313]

Anybody seen those new GEICO commercials with the little pig?

Wheeeeeeee! Whee, whee, wheeeeeeeeee!!!!
LOL!

His name is Maxwell!

Thanks for the new chapter.

[sssarawolf]

Awww ajoy to be sure. lol

[kaijafon]

Sometimes it seems like Francine and Cor have not "done the deed". It would be interesting to see if both Fel and Francine get pregnant (Fel first; Francine second because she realizes that if Fel has a baby and she doesn't.....lol)

great story thanks!

[kua]

Kaijafon, that thought has floated thru my head as well, they maybe have not "done the deed". Francine frequently has headaches to get her out of doing chores in the house, so why not convenient headaches in the bedroom as well. Cor may be getting tired of her shenanigans and so this is Francine's way of getting him out of her way for a while. Well, Kathy will let us know in her own sweet time what the plan is....I hope.

[cheyennep]

Yeah, I'd wondered about that myself, concerning Cor and Francine. I can't wait to read more of this story!

[Jimbopithecus]

Kathy this is so like you to do this story this way! Back when I was Knuckledragger, the arboreal rodent, I got used to you and Cliff double teaming me, particularly with Del (hint, hint). As I've come to expect from you, this is a well crafted tale with a heroine that reminds me suspiciously of Rocky! Thanks for the chapters! I, for one, am glad that you're here. I'll be looking forward to Fel's next challenge.

[Rabbit]

Originally Posted by Kathy in FL

Anybody seen those new GEICO commercials with the little pig?

Wheeeeeeee! Whee, whee, wheeeeeeeeee!!!!
LOL!

Those are some of the funniest commercials ever to hit the small screen. In the first one ever notice the expression on the kid's face next to him in the back seat?

So Fel is going to have company for a whole week. This should be interesting. And yeah, it would be quite a turn of events if somehow they slipped up on their agreement and the result was the first male heir. My, my, my!

Kathy, please write faster. Go ahead and write and neglect your husband, kids and business and any other chores, it will only make them appreciate you more later. lol I'm scouring my feeble brain now for any other ideas that might help.

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 35

Even with the door closed the cold was pressing on the cabin. Jonah had said a weather change was coming but it seemed it was changing a bit more than we had anticipated. I thought about my nice warm bed and then smelled Cor and thought, “No.” I’m not averse to sharing warmth, my sisters and I did it, but I refused to gag all night long because of drunken belches.

I scooted the heavy rocker over near the fireplace and then pulled the chair over as well to prop my feet on. It was the first I’d really taken to look at the rocker and discovered it was a fine piece. Looking even closer I could see a carving had been burned into the wide piece where my head would rest. I was startled to realize it was a picture of this cabin from the outside, complete with cedar trees, pines, and the little foot bridge over the stream. Just barely discernible in the bottom right of the headboard were the words “Fel’s Cabin”.

I looked over at the sleeping man and shook my head. He was such a mixture. Man one minute, boy the next, part clumsy puppy, and part something else altogether that I didn’t have a name for. Down deep there was a part of him that was sad and needy that made him do stupid things but he could also be strong and kind and be responsible when others needed him to. Most of the men that I had known weren’t all that complicated; if you fed and watered them enough generally they wouldn’t bother you too much except for the obligatory rousting when they got together to egg each other on. Cor on the other hand was complicated; no wonder he made himself miserable so often. Men who think see too much and once you’ve seen something it is awful hard to unsee it.

Thoughtfully I picked up the bear skin and draped it in the rocker. I sat down and propped my feet in the chair and then wrapped the rest of the bear skin around me. I would be snug as a bug in a rug assuming I could fall asleep. Between thinking about Cor – who by then was snoring in time to the wind that had picked up outside – and about what all he had said I had an awful time putting my new concerns aside so I could rest.

I would need to do something for Cor. I wasn’t going to owe him for the rocker. I knew he broke the old one but this was something above and beyond and it made me uncomfortable. It was out of pecan wood and was fresh made; I could tell by the smell. I’d discovered that Cor was a fine carpenter – I’d watched him fix the doorframe he’d broken and watched him refashion a new door out of a thick panel of seasoned wood from the estates wood shed. He’d even cut the panel so that there was a small door I could look out without having to open the whole door. He’d also nailed in a metal grate on the outside while the small sliding door was on the inside. As nice as the door was, the rocker was another level of woodworking completely. There wasn’t a rough edge or sharp corner on it anywhere. It didn’t just look sturdy it felt sturdy and the rocking motion when I tried it out was dead smooth with no squeaks.

As much as that gave me to think on the more immediate problem was trying to figure out what Cor had meant when he’d described Francine’s ultimatum. I had accepted we’d have to do some playacting when we made our agreement but what she wanted was definitely not part of anything that I had considered. Cor didn’t either from his reaction. I suppose I could have been insulted but I wasn’t. If I had been a man and faced with coming to me and trying to explain what my other wife was determined to have I might have knocked back a jug or two myself.

I finally dozed off some hours after the little clock that had appeared on the mantle told me it was midnight. And when there was a hesitant knock on the cabin door when gray light was just filtering in the windows it didn’t take me much to open my eyes and sit up.

I discovered I had buried part of my face under the bear skin and when I pulled it out the cold in the air curled the hairs in my nose. I dragged it with me to the door and slid open the little door to see Jonah standing there wrapped in a heavy coat.

“I know yer … er … keepin’ company Gilly but we needs yer and Young Cor. Bad freeze come in overnight and some o’ the pipes from the pumps ter the house hadn’t been wrapped yet and we gotter mess. Everything that was still in the garden is rurnt too.”

I said a foul word that had both Jonah and Cor growling. Jonah because he was reminding me not to put Mrs. Wiley in a mood with such talk and Cor because he claimed it was a rude thing to wake up to. After Jonah left I said, “It’s just because you’re hung over. Serves you right. And you better not puke your guts out in here … you are starting to look a little green.”

He ran outside and into the bushes just in time and then came in hopping and skipping and swearing where the frost had tried to cut his feet and asking for his boots when it was too late. “And what happened to my clothes?!” he growled too loud before grabbing his head. He looked at me through bloodshot eyes then whispered, “Did … did I … I mean …” Going a deeper shade of green he asked. “Did I do … anything … to um … I mean … I was in your bed and …”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Do you think me such a weak ninny I couldn’t deal with a drunk?” At his sad look I shook my head. “Honestly Cor, lighten up. No, you didn’t do anything you need to apologize for. Now stop standing there like the cabin is going to fall on you and come in so I can shut the door. I’m not dressed either and don’t want to catch lung rot in this cold.”

He finally came inside shivering and went over to the fire and poked it up. He started to put a piece of wood on it but I told him, “Don’t do it for my sake. I need to get out in the garden. Didn’t you hear Jonah?”

He sighed as he tugged on his shirt. “I heard. Uh …”

I looked at him and once his brain caught up with his ears he realized I was serious when I told him what my state of undress was. He wrenched around to face the fire. “Fel … you … you shouldn’t …”

Growling because I was getting tired of his foolishness I told him, “Cor … if we are going to get thrown together like this you are going to have to deal with those scruples of yours some way other than the way you are going or you are going to blow out a vessel in your brain. Honestly, if it turns your stomach that much to be around me just try and think of me like a sister or something.”

He mumbled, “It’s not … that’s not what … Fel, you sure this isn’t bothering or upsetting you?”

I snorted impatiently. “Cor, I know we haven’t spent a particular amount of time together all things considered but do you really think I’d let something go unsaid if it was bothering me?”

He was silent for a moment that turned around to find me walking being a maple paneled screen. He made a little racket when he realized I was getting dressed but not enough to be a bother. He did say, “We need to talk.”

I came out from around the screen dressed for the day – it was too cold to take long doing it – and told him, “And how. But right now isn’t the time for it. Jonah wouldn’t have come to get me … us … if it wasn’t serious.”

We walked together over to where we saw Jonah standing with some others. Regardless of what I said I was squirming inside over what everyone must have thought was going on in the cabin. I hid it since it was all part of the plan but Cor wasn’t doing so good. If he squirmed any more he’d look like a worm in hot coals. But it didn’t take long for all of us to put such thoughts out of our heads. A mess was before us.

I left Cor and the other men digging out around the pipes that ran from the well house to the rest of the outbuildings and the big house while I walked over to where the women were standing with Mrs. Wiley lamenting the loss of what was left in the garden.

“Why should everything be lost?” I asked.

“Gilly, just look around Honey … this freeze done kilt ever thing,” said one of the women.

“It may have gotten the plants but for pity sake, I’m not leaving any of those fruits on the vine to rot. Tell me you know how to save green tomatoes and pumpkins and such.”

Mrs. Wiley sighed and said, “I would if I could Gilly. The stuff has frozen though.”

“So?” I said almost getting sassy. “My Gran always said that God gave you trouble just so you could feel good about overcoming it. I can’t tell you the amount of green tomatoes I’ve eaten since I was just learning to chew.” Surprised they were still looking glum I said, “If the pumpkins are green but their skin is still soft you can cook them up just like a summer squash … I’m in favor of squash and onions if anyone is asking. Reckon we can cook up a bunch today and have it eaten up too ‘cause I can just imagine how hungry those men are going to get digging in this cold weather.”

Turning around I spotted some boys trying to slink off. “Topher! Get your gang over here right now.”

“Yes’m Miss Fel,” he called glumly.

I explained to them what I expected and they grabbed some baskets and started picking the remaining pumpkins and sorting them into two piles – soft skinned and the ones with skins that had already hardened.

Turning to Mrs. Wiley I said, “We can use the soft skinned ones up today and tomorrow too if they’ll last. After they’re used up we can switch to the hard shelled green pumpkins and peel them, cut them into chunks, flour them up and then fry them. You can also batter those chunks and deep fry them then sprinkle them with sweetening and I bet the boys would clean you out of any extra that might be left over.”

Given the notorious appetite that Topher and his crowd had there were several chuckles at my words. Then I went on to the green tomatoes. “My Gran and Ma did all sorts of things with green tomatoes. Made them into pies that taste kind of like your apple pies, pickled the little cherry sized ones, mixed them with apples to make something she called a chutney, she breaded and fried big slices and then smothered them in white gravy, made relish the same as I saw you do with pickles. Then there was salsa verde we had on founding day and green tomato mincemeat pies that we only ate when Padre came to celebrate the Christ’s birth with us. Gran and Ma never let anything go to waste in the Outlands. If you let something go to waste God is going to think you need less since you are being wasteful and next time you might find out you don’t have enough.” Mrs. Wiley startled me with a hug and we got down to business.

I was not joking when I said my Gran and Ma used up everything until there was nothing left of it. When I saw the boys pulling plants out of the field and tossing them into the fire Mrs. Wiley laughed so hard when she said I looked like an angry goose chasing after them.

“Well,” I said a little embarrassed after I’d come back. “You don’t waste anything green that can go on the compost.”

Ma explained it that for everything you take out of the ground or that the ground gives you, you have to give something back. If you don’t the ground stops giving you things. Da said she was superstitious but that it was true that you needed to put compost and stuff on the garden or you would steal all of the minerals for the ground and plants couldn’t grow in it. I didn’t see as there was much difference in what they meant, only in the way they explained it but I wouldn’t have dared to sass my folks by saying such to them.

It wasn’t the work that was miserable so much as it was the cold and wet we were working in. I was also bleary eyed from very little sleep. The cold was probably the only thing keeping me awake.

Some kind soul keep a couple of cauldrons of warm drinks going and every once in a while Topher or one of the other boys would put a mug of something in my hand … midmorning it was broth and that suddenly made me realized I hadn’t had a first meal and that I was hungry.

Topher was still there dancing a little from foot to foot. “What?” I asked him.

“Um … Miss Francie said she … um … wants to … um …”

I said, “Where is she?”

“Over at your cabin with Mr. Cor.”

Hmmm. “OK, tell Mrs. Wiley I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I started walking toward the cabin wondering if Francine had finally come to her senses but as I approached I realized I was out of luck again.

“Cor, you promised,” she whined. “You said we would be a real family and here you are covered in mud and out playing with the men instead of taking care of your responsibilites.”

Highly offended Cor retorted, “Playing?! I’m working!”

“And you promised me that you would honeymoon with Fel and make us a real family. Can’t you even stop for just one week and treat a woman right?!”

Well that put a snarl in Cor’s voice all right. “Fel and I do not need a blasted honeymoon. I have given in to this need of yours to replicate the family you had growing up but dammit Francine … don’t tell me how to treat a woman. If Fel isn’t complaining I don’t see why you should.”

“That … that woman is uncivilized and doesn’t know any better. I’ve come to accept that as a second wife she isn’t the perfect choice but that I can live with it if it gets us closer to our goal. But your next wife …”

“Next wife?!” Cor yelped.

I was beginning to think Francine wouldn’t know commonsense if it slapped her across the face like a fresh caught fish. I was cold, tired, wet, and cranky … in other words not in the best state of mind to deal with Francine’s brand of foolishness. I came up on her and snarled, “The flaming plague scourged world does not revolve around you and what you want Francine! Do you think I, that any of us really want to be out grubbing in the cold mud and muck?! There are things more important than honeymooning and doing what would be easy ... if we don't do this people will starve! Do you know what that means? Have you even ever had to miss a meal? No matter whether I could put if off on someone else or not, the plain fact of the matter is I will not. I will not put my head down tonight or any other night knowing that I haven't done what I ought for these people. I won't live knowing I wasted this last opportunity God gave us to take care of our people. And frankly I don't know how you could.” Getting real wound up I told her, “What is more you won't! You will get up off your self-pity and misery. You will get in that kitchen if I have to roll you there in a barrel. And you will do it to make your aunts and Elder Lathrop proud if you can do it for no other reason!!”

I took one step towards her and Francine took off running back to the house. Beyond exasperated I stuck my hand out to Cor and said, “No more wives.”

He looked at me, then at my hand, then back at me and then stuck out his own and we shook on it. “No more wives,” he agreed.

In a sour mood we both stomped back to our work. I caught Francine trying to disappear back into the house by a side door but stopped her. “I’m not kidding Francine. If it takes writing a letter to your precious aunts or Elder Lathrop I’ll do it. You are going to start participating in the life of this estate instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Play … time … is … over. I won’t be pushed around and I’m done standing back and letting Cor be pushed around. He doesn’t deserve it from you and I could care less if I deserve it as no matter what I’m not going to take it. You want to eat then you are going to work just like the rest of us.”

[kyrsyan]

GO FEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geez, Francine is just flat out stupid if she thinks that the Elder meant that sex/honeymoon was the only area in which she was failing. The girl needs to wake up, and wake up fast. Earlier I was thinking that the Elder needed to revisit after the week was up and set her straight but Fel may just have done it.

[MrsClaus]

Me thinks Ms. Francine could use a good spanking.

[Carlyblue]

I love it!!!!

[cheyennep]

She's just not gonna stop with the extra wives thing, is she?! I hope Francine will hurry up and dissapear!

[kaijafon]

Me thinks Ms. Francine could use a good spanking.

LOL! I think Fel just gave her a good one! even if it was verbally!

[wab54]

AAALLLLLRRRIIIIGGHHHTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWHHOOOOOEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Fel!!!!! With Cor backing her, Fel just might get Francine to work some!! LOL!!! Then again, Francine may run back home because she "cant work"!!! It would really be bad if Fel got pregnant and had the whole of the household behind her, even Cor and pushed Francine out!!! Now that would be somethin'!!!!



WAB

[sssarawolf]

For sure GOOO FEL. lol

[juco]

This story is better than chocolate.

[Jeepcats 3]

Make that healthy Godiva dark chocolate!
Jeepcats3

[Rabbit]

Oh Francine is an expert. I bet she screws up so badly and on purpose so that whoever she is "helping" makes her stop and go away.

[seraphima]

I think Fel is actually helping Francine grow up. Kids need that hard side of their parents as well as the tender side. Fel had a lot of practice with her foster sisters, and Francine may surprise us and herself. But, more wives?- heh, heh, there'd be a real circus. Cor better stand up to Francine before he gets run over by a herd of stampeding buffalo in the form of a harem.

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 36

Well, maybe I did it and maybe I didn’t … fix Francine’s wagon that is. She’s been fairly decent to be around and work with … for Francine anyway. I was irritated that it took a threat to get her rear in gear but whatever; sometimes you take what you can get in this life. To be honest I’m not sure if she came to her senses or if she worried that I’d really write that letter … which had she pushed me I surely would have … but either way life is starting to roll along better than a bent up baby carriage like it had been.

Cor seems to really like the new Francine … except for one thing. The new Francine is just as big a busy body as the old Francine was about demanding that Cor “honeymoon” with me a week out of the month. I suppose you can’t have everything in this life because it wouldn’t be good for you … like too many sweets or something … but if he had been given a choice I bet he would have been willing to give up something really nice to get out of that particular “pleasure.”

The day of the freeze we were both exhausted and filthy by the end but the pipes were replaced – good thing that Cor’s da had stockpiled a bunch of cast iron pieces when he originally had the well dug and run using some old tech he had managed to replicate. “Could have used clay,” Jonah told me. “But still nice ter have all that cast iron.”

When my part was finished I went off to the cabin and then realized that even though I was so tired my head felt like it was going to fall off there was no way I could sleep in the mud and dirt I was caked in. I felt like saying another bad word but figured I had used my quota when I had said one that morning. I stumbled into the cabin and re-lit the fire. I was so tired I was shivering and if I hadn’t been so filthy I would have just said to heck with it but I was and there was no getting around it. I would rather wash my body on a cold day than before forced to wash all my bedding because I had been too lazy.

I went back outside and brought the small tub in that I used to wash my clothes and my body in when I wanted to do it privately. It was still a little light so I didn’t have to worry about falling into the stream to get water but gracious that stuff was heavy and cold. The fireplace in the cabin was decent sized so I was able to have a pot over the heat to get the water boiling while I put more in the tub just to have it ready.

I pulled out my drying cloths and hung them on a rack by the fire too to get them warmed up. Took long enough that I started to doze but finally the water was boiling and I took it off the fire, replaced it with my teapot, and then poured the boiling water into the barely above freezing water already in the tub. It warmed the water up so I wouldn’t feel like a piece of ice floating in a small pond, but it wasn’t much warmer than that.

I washed my hair first. That was a major chore right there and I wouldn’t have done it if the heavy mass hadn’t soured. I’d been glad to find soapwort in the estate gardens and dug a bunch of roots. I used a solution of defused soapwort root and dried chamomile to get the dark brown mess clean and after rinsing used what had gone into the tub to wash the rest of my body. I was just about ready to come out of the tub and dry off when the cabin door banged open.

Seeing who it was I shouted, “Shut the door! I swear one of these days I’m going to scalp you!! Didn’t your Ma ever teach you manners?!”

Cor shut the door with a bang then kept his back to me and shouted, “And didn’t yours ever teach you to lock doors?!”

Shouting right back, “This is the first door I’ve had to lock in several years. I keep forgetting there’s a latch to keep looby men like you out!”

He was still facing the door but I saw he shoulders shaking. “I am not looby,” he snickered.

“Are too,” I groused back just as ready to chuckle at the situation as he was.

“Uh … we need to talk,” he said.

I said, “Not until I’m dressed we don’t. Don’t peek.”

I hopped out of the bath and dried off as fast as I ever had in my life but wound up wrapped in a quilt trying to dig out clean clothes. Cor asked, “Can I turn around yet?”

Frustrated I said, “Only if you want your eyes to burn from your head. I haven’t done any wash and I’m trying to find some clean clothes in all this mess. I put your packages over in the corner but …”

“They aren’t my packages and there might be something in there you can use.”

“Huh?”

“Are you … uh … decent?”

I mumbled, “Depends on who you are talking to. Why?”

He snorted. “I mean have you got all of your … uh … parts covered that are normally covered.”

“I’m wrapped in a quilt lunkhead. What do you think?”

Carefully he turned around and peeped between his fingers. When he saw I was more covered that normal he relaxed. I told him, “There was this monster called Medusa that used to turn men to stone. That’s the way you treat me.”

“Ha!” he muttered. “With your hair all over the place like that you might just be kin to her.” Then he stopped and looked at me. “Where did you hear about Greek mythology? I thought you said that your town didn’t approve of females getting education.”

I nodded. “They didn’t but Da didn’t care much what anyone thought. He said he wouldn’t go to his grave not doing his duty as a father and leaving me ignorant in the world. What he didn’t teach me directly I picked up here and there. I used to find pieces of stories and books in old buildings and bring them back to my sisters. Usually it was only bits and pieces but one time I found this whole book and it had all these stories in it. The author was even a woman. Her name was Edith Hamilton.”

Cor nodded and then randomly he said, “One of my sisters that died was named Edith. She was the one closest in age to me. I can barely remember her except for the time she threatened to drown me for doing something to some doll of hers.”

He’d caught me off guard with his story and I laughed. “You probably deserved it.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “I was a rotten kid. Now here, open this.”

Before I took it from him I said, “This is that thing that you can’t bring Francine back things unless you …”

Impatiently he admitted, “Yes but that’s not why I did it. Look, I just … felt bad … that you got dumped into this situation because my father couldn’t pay off his own debts. I just … look, open it already.”

Trying to think of a way to tell him that he didn’t have to make up for every little thing his Da wrought I pulled back the paper and found what I thought at first was a dress. Only it wasn’t a dress it was a real night gown like I had seen in Francine and Winnie’s laundry. Only it wasn’t the thin see through things that didn’t do much but add a layer of shadow; it was thick like a man’s shirt and kind of looked the same around the neck.

“What is it?”

“It’s … er … a … um … night gown.”

“I know that I mean what is it? It’s so soft and warm and what are all these squares of color?”

He relaxed. “Oh. The material is called fleece and the pattern is called plaid. It was one of the things we traded for up in the north east. I figured you wouldn’t have anything warm … I mean … coming from the Outlands and Winnie suggested … uh …”

I shook my head. “You um and uh and er more than just about anyone I’ve ever met. But if you really mean for me to have this … it is mine to keep?”

“Of course it …” he started outraged. Then he got that kindness in his eyes that always confuses me and makes me wonder what kind of person he could be if he didn’t have all the worries always hanging onto him. “It’s yours Fel.”

I scooted behind the screen and then shivered my way into the night clothes and then laughed at how I looked.

“Does it fit?” he called.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ve just never had anything new and that came all the way to the top of my feet before.”

I came out and pirouetted for him and he smiled and shook his head. “Come here and open the rest of these. You’ll like them too I hope.”

I’d never gotten so many presents at one time in my whole life. Da would give me things when he could but life was hard and if he had set me too much above the other girls that wouldn’t have gone over very well with the town elders.

“What are these?” I held what looked like moccasins only they were made of the same material as the night gown.

“Slippers. They’ll keep your feet warm on cold nights like this. And that’s a robe and will help too. We don’t usually get real cold weather until January but Jonah said he thinks this year is going to be bad.”

In another package there was a comb, brush and a couple of things that Cor told me were hair nets. In another there were several pair of wool leggings to go under my skirts. Feeling overwhelmed I said, “Cor … you … you didn’t have to do all this. Besides, wouldn’t it have been better to pay off debts with all the coin this cost?”

“It didn’t cost me coin Fel. It was part of the barter.” Seeing the look on my face in the firelight he added, “I really did want to make sure that you had things of your own. Winnie told me you didn’t have hardly anything when you came but the clothes on your back. There are some bolts of fabric up at the house. Mrs. Wiley said she’d get them made up into clothes for you. I see they got you to give up some of your leathers but you need more than what you’ve got. I don’t want people to say … well … what some of them are probably already saying. And I saw your sister Docia again when I was taking the salt the fort. She told me to tell you not to be such a fuss budget and that I was doing my husbandly duty by you.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think we’ve had that conversation already.”

“We have. But think on this … it makes me feel better to know that members of my household are taken care of. Our agreement might be a little … different … than most but that doesn’t mean I don’t still consider you a member of my family which means I have a responsibility to take care of your needs. At least Francine has that part right.”

I looked at him and saw an awareness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Francine was messing up. It didn’t have to be as hard as she was making it and if she didn’t stop things would get a whole lot harder.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have hollered at her like I did,” I said regretfully.

He sighed. “You weren’t wrong. What’s wrong is that it took hollering to reach her.” He sighed again and then looked around like he wanted to change the subject but couldn’t. “She … she still won’t let up about me … us … spending …”

Trying to make it easier on him so I would have to see the pain in his eyes I asked, “Does it have to be all day or will she settle for you sleeping here at night for a week?”

He shrugged uncomfortably. “She agreed that we both had work to do during the day but she’s adamant that I spend the night in … uh … your …”

I shook my head and told him, “The word you are looking for is bed.”

He cleared his throat and said, “Yeah. She made me promise to sleep in the bed Fel. She’ll ask me and I can’t lie to her about it on top of everything else. She’ll know. For the … you know … that other part … sex … I can say we are sleeping together and that’ll satisfy her, she won’t ask intimate questions but she’ll know if I try and hide that we aren’t at least sleeping in the same bed.” Then he steeled himself and looked at me and said, “This has to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t believe my wife wants me to sleep with another woman. Why?!”

I shrugged and then sat on the rug in front of the fire since he seemed in the mood to keep talking. “It’s the way she was raised. If you were raised like that it wouldn’t seem such a strange thing to you.”

“Strange isn’t what I call it,” he muttered. “Could you … share I mean?”

Looking into the fire I thought about it. “Cor, I never thought too hard about the future if I could help it. The picture was never pretty and was often just plain frightening. If I thought about it at all I figured some man in the town would finally force himself on me giving me no choice or I’d be sold to another town and given no choice that way. As bad as you find this situation we are in it is still better than what I was living and had to look forward to.”

He shook like a dog that had felt a flea crawl on him. “That’s bad all right, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

I snorted impatiently. “Well then the answer is no. There are a lot of things I have no problem sharing but my body with more than one man would be at the top of the list of things I wouldn’t do.”

“Why?”

I looked at him thinking he’d lost his mind and then saw he was really serious. The things I talk about with this man I wouldn’t have ever even talked to Docia or Hannah about. I sighed and answered, “Because I have enough trouble with the idea of sharing my body with one man. I doubt I could get that close with more than one, especially not at the same time.”

After a moment Cor nodded. Finally getting up the nerve I asked, “Cor, are you and Francine … you know … getting along OK? I mean you don’t think it is some kind of excuse so that she doesn’t have to be … I mean … with you … like a … you know … a wife?”

He adjusted his shoulders and then settled back down. “I suppose you deserve a chance to ask questions if I ask them of you.” He shrugged. “That’s part of the reason I don’t understand Fel. We’re just fine in that department; always have been right from the beginning. She seemed awful surprised by it too … like she’d been listening to the wrong kind of stories. She was … uh … eager and … well, let’s just say even being parted from her for months at a time I’ve never even had the least desire to stray. All I’ve ever wanted was to be with her and now she wants me to … to be unfaithful.”

He seemed so forlorn I reached over and patted his knee. “Well we fixed that part of it. Thing is, I work all day … I can’t just sit up all night talking Cor. And there’s only one bed and it would look funny putting in another one this late in the game. It’d probably make people talk.”

He sighed and said, “Yeah.”

Taking the problem in both hands I said, “You know how I told you to think of me like a sister?”

He turned his head and gave me a cautious look. “Yeah.”

“Well, what I propose is you keep on thinking of me like a sister. It is too cold to sleep on the floor for either one of us. I shared warmth with my sisters when we lived all together in the long house. I think we can share the bed … sleep … and no one will be the wiser and twit us about it. What do you say?” He looked alarmed but after a few more minutes of talking he finally admitted it was the only real solution to it.

It was growing late and there was still a lot of work to do tomorrow as we intended to start slaughtering animals to cull the herds down to a manageable size for a hard winter. I crawled into the bed and then sat up waiting for him to do something besides stare into the fire.

Finally he sighed a deep sigh that sounded like it came from his soul. Not looking at me he said, “Turn your head.” I opened my mouth to say something and he added, “Humor me.”

So I closed my eyes and turned my head towards the wall. After what seemed like a long time I felt him get in bed. “Lay down and go to sleep Fel.”

I don’t normally put up with being bossed around but he sounded so sad and uncomfortable that I did as he said and felt him dragging what turned out to be the heavy bear skin over us. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep but something woke me in the middle of the night.

The cabin was dark except from the glow of the coals in the fireplace. I could see a lump sitting in the rocking chair and realized that Cor had gotten back up at some point. I sighed and got out of bed. When he didn’t react I realized he was asleep. I shook my head at his foolishness and then pulled the bear skin off the bed and draped it over him.

It was early morning but still dark when I felt the bear skin being laid back over me. Then Cor crept quietly toward the door. I stopped him with a question. “Did it freeze?”

After a moment he said, “I think so but not as hard.”

“OK. Give me a minute and I’ll be up to the house.”

And that’s all we said. He came the next night and we talked for a while and then he climbed in bed, I woke up to find him in the rocker and I covered him with the bear skin, and then he left the next morning early. This went on for four nights. That night when he got in beside me I said, “When you get up, take the bear skin with you.”

He grunted, “I don’t want you to get cold.”

“I get cold having to get out of bed to cover you up so you don’t get lung rot. Just take the bear skin.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

It seems to me that Cor is holding onto his scruples to the point of foolishness. But if they bring him comfort I’m not going to tease him about it. I did almost laugh when the week was over with. He acted like he’d been pardoned of some heinous misdeed.

[debralee]

Thanks Kathy.

[nancy98]

Finally caught up.
I bought a new Kindle Fire so I read almost the whole thing last night and finished tonight. LOL Great story Kathy. Thank you.

Any idea when Gurl is going to be added to?

[sssarawolf]

Thank you I wonder how long they can keep that up lol.

[ReneeT]

Great chapters, Kathy - thank you!

[juco]

Any idea when Gurl is going to be added to?

Shhhh! Not until Fel's story is finished, of course. (hint-hint)

[Rabbit]

Shhhhhh, is right. Fel by the Wayside is such an ominous title I was almost scared to start reading it lest the irony of it leaves me waiting once again. So ya'll hush! lol

[seraphima]

Bit by bit Cor and Fel are coming to care for each other as friends- the plaid nightgown is a nice touch, warm but not frilly- but I don't see them as truly husband and wife unless Francine dies or divorces Cor. All three are so stubborn, each in their own way. And, they are at the fulcrum of a power struggle for domination of how their society is going to change or not change. Societies that have too many unmarried young men have to either send away the extra young men or have wars in which they die in battle. (I worry about what will happen in China on that account.) Such unrest among young men has been hinted at in prior chapters.

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 37

October turned into November and we got unexpected visitors in the form of a couple of Francine’s “cousins” and one of her “aunts.” By this time I had gotten curious enough to ask Cor what was up with all of the female relatives that Francine had and he explained the cousins were cousins but not related by birth but through one of her father’s wives’ sisters. The “aunt” was basically related the same way.

“Doesn’t that give you a headache trying to keep that stuff straight in your head?” I asked him as we sat in front of the cabin fireplace drinking some warm cider and waiting for the sun to go down so we could go to bed without embarrassing the daylights out of each other.

“Pretty much,” he admitted. “That’s why all I can give you is a general description and not specifically who or how they are related. And unless you want a headache too, don’t ask her for her family genealogy. The whole lot of them will start citing chapter and verse and it will take the rest of the year and you’ll end just as confused as you started.”

I laughed although in a sense I suppose it wasn’t funny. I imagine keeping who all you are related to and how closely would be serious business in a society where multiple marriages were the rule. The Lathrops had once been one of the largest families within the Kipling territory. The plague that took so many girl children had hit them inordinately hard in part due to how closely packed they were in their living arrangements. It probably led, at least in part, to how … er … forceful they are being about making their lifestyle more acceptable in other Kipling families.

I could laugh, despite how serious the consequences had been for the Lathrops and through that now for Cor and I as they strove to reinvent their way of life, because Cor and I were easier in each other’s company. Easier that is in almost any place excepting the bed part. He still got up at some point to sleep in the rocker. Sometimes it seems that he is afraid of me … or himself. I’d try and put him at ease but I’m not sure it would do any good and I don’t like to waste breath on fruitless endeavors. We get along fine and that’s all I really look for. And it’s nice to have someone to talk to that I don’t have to play pretend with. I know what everyone else thinks and while I mean for them to think it, it still bothers me some that they can yet know me the way they do.

Truth be told I didn’t want to upset Cor by bringing all of that up too much. Unlike September and October, November was a slow month. September we had the garden and harvesting. October there was that first early freeze with unseasonably cold weather behind it and then the animal slaughtering and getting all the cuts of meat and sausage and the like into the smoke house or dried into jerky. After all that November was just plain boring. There was nothing to do. It was hard to find ways to keep myself busy. Francine and her female relatives have the house. Mrs. Wiley has the kitchen. What little bit of outdoor work there is Jonah takes care of and when I try to help he shoo’s me off. The cabin isn’t a lot of work to keep up with so that leaves hunting to keep me occupied and sometimes it is just too cold to do that. The only relief from my own company is the time that Cor spends with me.

On the one hand I resent Francine and her family forcing me into this ridiculous act of pretending I am Cor’s wife. On the other hand … well the other hand doesn’t bear looking at too closely if I can help it. Actually spending time with a man and learning to consider him a friend is not something I had ever thought would happen. I consider my Da a special person and no one like him existed after he died. Now Cor is nowhere near up to taking my Da’s place, no one ever will, but he isn’t difficult to have around now that some of his nervous puppy-ness has been gotten under control. He is a wonderful partner to hunt with.

Unlike my sisters I don’t constantly have to shush him. Cor is big and wiry but he doesn’t tromp through the woods like some I have seen. Jonah is the only one that beats him and Jonah is small and wiry though he has gotten almost too cautious since the bear smacked him good. Jonah’s caution is what started Cor coming into the forest with me. Trying to teach Topher and the other boys to hunt during the winter was a frustrating effort; they figured if there was enough domestic animals to eat why waste the energy hunting. I was looking for something useful to do so I was bringing in a bit of fresh meat and Cor started going with me when I finally admitted the boys weren’t worth the effort.

“You don’t need to follow me all over the place Cor. I’ve been hunting since I was old enough to follow my Da’s footprints.”

“Maybe,” he rumbled. “But you wouldn’t deny a drowning man a rope now would you?”

I looked at him and asked, “What are you going on about now?”

“I can only hide in my office for so long before I’m pried out to come look at something, listen to something, give my opinion on something … I’ve had enough.”

Figuring out he meant Francine and her family I smiled. “So you’re saying I’m rescuing you?”

He shrugged. “Might as well be saying that. Let’s just get while the getting is good or they might pull you into whatever they are getting up to next. Unless you want to play cards or listen to one of them read some lecture on the state of the family in Kipling.”

I’m smart enough to recognize a threat when I hear one so we got … just as fast as we could.

After that we went hunting pretty often. Not every day of course because Cor had estate responsibilities that took him in different directions. Sometimes he would even take me with him. That’s how I got to see the paper mill, the grist mill, and the huge silos where the rice harvest and other grains were kept. Occasionally on these outings I got some funny looks. I never know if it is because of being an Outlander, being female, or supposedly being a 2nd wife.

I enjoyed getting out around the estate and seeing things but after a particular incident Cor wouldn’t let me come with him anymore.

“What did you want me to do Cor? Let that man take me?”

Cor was still so angry there was steam coming off of him. “Of course not. I’m not blaming you for having to cut him. I’m angry because one of my own men – a worker on my own estate – would … would …”

“You can’t control everything Cor. And so long as you aren’t mad at me then I’m fine. Just forget about it.”

“Forget about it?!!”

I winced at his volume. “Geez, no need to get so loud you knock the birds from the trees. I can see why you’d be upset. I’m not exactly happy myself. I just mean I’m fine … as my Da would say no permanent dents or discolorations. You don’t need to fall apart over this.”

He’d still been so angry by the time we got back to the estate he had told me to go to my cabin. Well fine I thought but I did stay there just because I didn’t feel like making a big huge explanation of everything. But then he shows back up well after dark and he’s still roasting hot with anger.

“I … am … not … falling apart,” he growled. “I take loyalty very seriously. I placed that man in a position of responsibility because in the past he had proven I could trust him. The fact that he would abuse that trust, be so disloyal, and to try to …”

I finally got him to sit down in the rocker and drink a mug of something warm. “Cor. Listen to what I’m saying. He’s not the first man to try to … to force himself on me. Now wait, just hear me out. No need to get so frayed around the edges.” Once he had settled back down I said, “If he had tried this with Francine it would be a different situation but I know the look that was on that man’s face. I’ve seen it on the face of others … some were even guests in your house. I’m nothing more than an Outlander trull to some of them. They don’t think it is fair that you have a pretty wife and also have a useful whore.”

He slammed the mug down so hard he almost cracked it, sloshing cider over the table I kept between the rocker and chair. “Will you stop saying that?! You are not a … I’m not even going to repeat it. I don’t want to ever hear you say that again.”

I snorted. “I know I’m not. You know I’m not. Most folks don’t treat me like I am. But face it Cor, you aren’t the only one this side of the Lathrop estate that can’t wrap your head around the idea of having more than one wife. To many Francine isn’t just your first wife she is your only wife. I was only seeing our side of things until you took me around to other parts of the estate. If it is the Lathrop’s plan to spread their way of life through all of Kipling, I’m thinking they have a lot further to go than they probably suspect. Add to that the shortage of marriageable females you’ve got around this place and it is going to be just plain awful for some men. In hindsight I’m surprised there haven’t been more problems than there have been.”

Twisting his neck this way and that Cor tried to let some of his anger go. “There’s been problems, they’ve just been managed. We lost a lot of male children to the plague too so we aren’t in as bad a shape in that respect as some of the surrounding territories are – the ratio is bad but not catastrophic so long as females continue to at least trickle in. We also send groups off on exploration runs, trade and barter runs, tech and resource collection runs, and other avenues the council is using to bleed off some of the tension.”

“Well, there you go. And part of that man’s problem might be that he lost his wife not that long ago to another man. Might have made him a little crazy.”

Cor shook his head, “I refuse to allow that to be an excuse. That was a choice he made, not something he was incapable of controlling. He deserves the punishment that is coming to him.”

I let it go. Cor can be as stubborn and as unmovable as a wall when he sets his mind to it so that was the end of me going around with him. He must have sensed though that I was getting bored and worried that it would lead me to mischief because when he went off someplace he would come back and tell me what he’d done and seen. Sometimes he would even bring his account books and work on them at the cabin explaining that Francine and the others were banging away in the music room and creating too much racket for him to think.

When Cor wasn’t around or we weren’t out hunting I was working on some projects of my own. I started with a pair of leather slippers for Cor to wear when he was in the cabin. The moccasins let him leave his boots at the door instead of tracking in mud; it was just too cold anymore to go barefooted even with the fireplace lit up and roaring. I made him a coon skin hat from one particularly fat fellow that had been turning pig on what he snitched from the pumpkin patch back in late summer. The biggest piece however was a leather hunting overshirt that he could wear to keep his cotton shirts from getting snagged to pieces when he was out in the part of the forest where the trees grow so close together you sometimes have to wiggle between them.

I owed him for all those presents he gave me and for making my life better than it was even with all the unnecessary complications we had to deal with. But I don’t guess I did him any favors because after Francine caught him wearing the hat and overshirt she accused him of “going Outlander” just to spite her and that she was so embarrassed to have had her cousins and aunt see him dressed like that.

Francine didn’t use a lot of sense in how she attacked him and he took to wearing the hat and shirt everywhere just to irritate her I think. I snuck it out of the laundry to try and keep the peace but he came stomping down to the cabin asking me where it had gone to.

“Don’t drop the flap on your long johns. I put it away until you and Francine calm down and can act as civilized as you claim to be. I know she didn’t have the sense not to get you riled up but you don’t have to egg her on the way you’ve been doing either. What’s got into you anyway?”

He grabbed the tea kettle and seemed happy to find something in it for his mug then flopped down into the rocker. “I don’t know. We were getting along fine … really good in fact. She hasn’t had one of them headaches in a while. Then out of the blue she’s started acting strange again. She expects me to work all day and then get dressed fancy for dinner and then stay up what feels like half the night entertaining her and her family. She complains I have started to act too rough and that I never listen to her.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Listen to her.”

“Of course I do … at least when she is making sense. She started on about me getting another wife the other day – in front of her family no less – and I just got up and walked out of the room rather than make a scene. I can’t believe she would bring that up again. And if it isn’t that she’s going on about all the wonderful things she misses about the Lathrop estate. She’s trying to talk me into all of us going to visit them and I am not – absolutely not – doing that until after I pay off what I owe to them and can do it as a free man.”

That was a bad day and I finally appeased Cor by suggesting he wear the gear when we were hunting or if he wanted to he could wear it around the cabin but that wearing it just to put Francine in a snit wasn’t the best use of his time.

Other days they would be so sappy sweet it would curdle your stomach. I swear Francine could live the life of a queen if she would just let up a little bit on some subjects. All she has to do is just barely offer him encouragement and he is sniffing at her heels. It is sweet in a nauseating kind of way. Not that I do a lot of watching. Francine’s cousin, the one named Glyssen, caught me one time and she started to giggle and say wasn’t it just the cutest thing. Gag. I guess it was cute but it is too much when force fed a steady diet of the stuff.

As November turned to December the first real snow fell and I wound up more alone than ever as Cor, Jonah, and a lot of other estate people were busy tending to repairs, cattle, and I don’t what all that got complicated by the bad weather.

[Jeepcats 3]

It feels like Cliff is going to pounce, everything appears to be working too well.

Jeepcats3

[Rabbit]

Thank you for the new chapter. I can't wait to see where this story goes, and hope that Fel finds a full life either with Cor or with someone else. Cor is becoming quite spoiled though, he has the best of two worlds as far as he is concerned, and Francine still has the power to upset Fel's world whenever she sees fit. Life for Fel seems to be like walking with a rock in your shoe.

[sssarawolf]

Thank you I really needed this lol.

[223shootersc]

thanks for the new chapter, wish FEL would decide she is in love with Cor and he would see what is best for him

[seraphima]

It would be interesting to see what happened if Cor and Fel went traveling in the Outlands together. Maybe they could round up some willing young women who would like to take a chance on becoming a wife for men on Cor's estate, or elsewhere. Fel would be a great help to frightened ones, also, who were being 'traded', if that is what it takes to get them out of a bad situation.

[alangator]

Kathy,
Another great story. Like everyone else I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Great work,
alangator

[Sportsman]

Thanks for the new chapters Kathy! Wonder if that attacker will show up unannounced some day when it's least expected?

~Sportsman

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 38

“Doesn’t do any good to latch the door Fel if you don’t latch the windows. All I had to do was pull back the shutters and push the window open to climb inside,” I heard Cor scold.

I gave him a bleary eyed look and knew I should have some smart answer handy but couldn’t find where I had left it. Even had I found it I was unable to use it as a series of booming coughs left me gasping for breath.

“Teach you to take a dip in Tumbler’s Spring this time of year.” He was teasing me. I knew he was teasing me but I was having trouble remembering why, then it clicked.

“It was either me,” I rasped. “Or Topher followed by most of the other boys. I still haven’t taught them not to walk like a bunch of ducklings all stepping on top of each other. And half of them don’t even know how to swim. We would have been digging floaters out of the spring for who knows how long.” I started coughing again and then tried to push him away so I could get out of bed and get something to drink.

“Yeah, it was you worrying about pulling out floaters and had nothing to do with the fact that you play big sister to them little orphan boys every chance you get.” He shot back at me. Then as I continued coughing around what Gran would call post nasal drip he asked me, “How long have you been coughing like this? Wait. Don’t tell me let me get the door open and you can tell them at the same time.” Following the insistent knocking followed by Cor sliding the latch back, in came Mrs. Wiley and Lollie Hudson who wasn’t just a midwife but one of the village yarb women. If their tut- tutting was to be believed, neither one of them thought much of the sounds I was making.

After a few minutes where I learned that I was in no shape to get my way Lollie declared, “It’s not down in her lungs but all that snot needs to break loose and come out if for no other reason than so she can rest. Someone needs to keep the fire going so she doesn’t catch a worse chill and make sure she gets enough to drink. She seems to know what she’s doing … gargling with cayenne, honey, salt, and cider vinegar … so the only thing I’m going to add is a warm ginger bath for the aches and pains from rolling down that bank on them rocks.”

Since I’m not fond of being treated like a piece of furniture I groused, “I’m not dead ya know. I’m even in this very room.”

Finally they stopped poking and prying and left me in peace but just as I was dozing off again Cor woke me back up. “Need to sit up Fel unless you want to wear this broth.”

I cracked my eye open and glared at him as balefully as I could but it didn’t seem to have any effect. I finally sighed, “Just leave it. I’ll eat it in a minute.”

“You’ll drink it now or we’ll both be on Mrs. Wiley’s short list. C’mon … here let me help you sit up.”

I coughed and told him, “I don’t need help. I need to be left alone so I can sleep this off. It was just a little dunking for pity sake.”

I felt as limp as a rag doll and about as strong compared to Cor who was manhandling into sitting up and then held the mug to my lips giving me no choice but to drink the flaming stuff or wear it. I finally pushed his hands and gasped, “Enough. You’re worse than Docia. I don’t want to drown in chicken broth.”

The smart aleck said, “Should have thought of that before.”

“Ha. Ha,” I told him tiredly. “Now will you let me be? I just want to sleep.”

He shook his head. “Sorry Fel. Worst is yet to come for both of us. The better you cooperate the faster this will be over with.”

I was only half way listening to him and almost didn’t react to the door of the cabin banging open again. The cold air made me pay attention though. “What the …?” I would have barked it out be all I could do was sneeze when the cold hit my nose hairs. Once I sneezed I started coughing.

I finally got it all under control as the door was closing. I rasped out, “Was that the boys? What are those tree rats doing banging in and out of here like a bunch of half loco calves?”

In this really silly voice Cor says, “Your bath awaits Mistress Fel.”

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I did not feel like funning. I did not feel like getting out of the bed. I sure as heck didn’t feel up to a bath. All I wanted to do was sleep. Cor’s slightly playful look began to wilt. “Look Fel … I know. I’d feel the same in your place. And what is worse … this game we’re playing has got us and we have to play it out a little further than I figure either of us expected.”

Feeling grouchy I asked, “Are you making sense yet?”

He shook his head. “You’ll be sorry when I do. Mistress Lollie says you need to bathe and wash the sickness off of you and she’s put a bag of chopped wild ginger and something else strong smelling in the water – probably turpentine, rosemary, and camphor giving how it is making my eyes water. The faster we get this started the faster we get this over.”

It took a minute for his words to make it through the fog my brain was in. “The bloody blue blazes we will,” I coughed. “I’ll send you into Tumbler’s Spring for your own dip if you so much as …”

The only thing I got to do was give a weak squawk. He flipped the covers off of me, picked me up, carried me over to the tub, stood me briefly on my feet, grabbed the hem of the night gown, wrenched it over my head, and then plopped me into the water that was hot enough that his manhandling wasn’t the only reason I was making noise.

Looking everywhere but at me he said, “There. That wasn’t so bad. Getting you out is going to take a little more … uh …”

“I … will … skin … you … from one end to the other,” I growled at him. “You give me just one excuse and I’ll do it right now. I …” I started coughing again and the harder I tried to stop coughing the deeper the steam from the bath got into my lungs. I felt his arm go around me and he held me up from behind. I struggled until I realized it wasn’t his arm but a drying cloth I felt on my bare skin.

Finally I was able to get my breath back but felt so weak I was just about ready to lose my composure. Startled Cor bleated, “Hey, you … you aren’t crying are you? Fel, I’m not gonna … uh … hurt you.”

“I … I know. I just … don’t look. Don’t look you hear me?”

“I’m not. Just sit in the tub a few minutes more and let that steam open you up. I need to strip your bed.”

“Nooo. Just go away Cor. I can take care of myself.”

“Nope,” he said shaking his head for emphasis. “Not gonna happen. For one thing this is the week I’m supposed to sleep here and for another I’m not leaving you to cough your insides out by yourself. Francine is already pitching a hissy about germs and how we might have a plague on our hands and I don’t know what all. Even if I wanted to sleep in my room she’d stick me on the sofa in my office rather than risk a cold herself.”

Feeling awful I snapped, “Well then go sleep on your old sofa. Francine can take a flying leap and I don’t care what you say about it. I ought to go sneeze on her just to give her the green willies … her and them wet hen relatives. I swear I’d rather have Muriel and Hazel here acting all sanctimonious than those giggling ninnies always pointing out how cute you two are and how I could learn a thing or three if I would just pay attention to how civilized Princess Francine is and …” He was bending down by the tub and I tried to throw the wet towel at him but he dodged.

“Fel don’t be so upset. Francine isn’t the only reason I’m here and neither is the dem calendar. I … well … I just figured you would be less upset about this if you thought it was.”

Feeling embarrassed about being such a cranky, crybaby I told him, “Oh just go away and stop being so nice. It’s irritating.”

I curled up in the tub and leaned away from him and put my head on the rim, trying not to fall asleep and slide under the water and drown as properly as I almost had when I fell in the spring. It didn’t work; I didn’t drown but I did fall asleep and was being lifted out of the water and wrapped in a big drying sheet before I was fully awake.

Sternly Cor said, “Stop fighting me Fel. You’re going to need your energy to get into some clean …” He stopped talking and sat me in the chair by the fire. Someone – I hope it was Lollie or Mrs. Wiley but I’m too chicken to ask – had laid out a clean night gown (one of the new ones they had sewed, this one out of heavy muslin) and loin cloth and I got the idea from Cor’s rigid profile that his patience was at an end.

“Go over there,” I told him quietly. He did as I asked and I got dressed the best I could. It wasn’t fast but I didn’t need any help. As soon as he heard me making my way back to the bed he turned around and came over and picked me up. I didn’t complain; the floor was cold. I didn’t say thank you either though. I just wanted to be left alone.

I slid back under the covers and was ready to sleep when I heard him pull the chair over to the bed. “Cor honestly,” I sighed. “I’m fine. If you’ve got things you need to do I don’t need a babysitter.”

He didn’t say anything but I could feel him staring at me. “What?” I finally asked.

“You’re … you’re marked up hard.”

If I had had the energy I would have sat up straight in bed. But I didn’t so all I could do was groan. “You said you wouldn’t look.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he admitted quietly. “But once I started … look Fel, I didn’t see anything … er … vital. It was just … too hard … to look away once I realized what I was seeing.” After a minute he asked, “Will you tell me what happened?”

I sighed. “I’m an Outlander. I’m female. I’ve got a mouth on me. Shouldn’t take much more explaining than that.”

“Your … your father … he didn’t …”

“No!” I yelped which started me coughing again. This time a glob of junk came up and I had to spit it into a handkerchief. I made a face. “Da would have killed the men that did this to me only he wasn’t around to do it. Just forget about it Cor. It would take too many stories to explain it all.”

He couldn’t seem to stop. “You … you were lashed. I can’t believe they would do that to a woman.”

He sounded more hurt by what had happened than what I chose to feel about it. I reached out and patted his hand. “I had a way of irritating certain of the men. Mostly because I refused to let them see they scared me. I refused their sexual advances too … sometimes pretty roughly when no one was looking. I tried to be careful but that wasn’t always enough.” I shook my head. “Just let it go. I have. That part of my life is over. All that’s left are the scars. No matter how they tried to control my body I refused to let them get my soul. End of story.”

“I can’t believe you can even … Fel I … I don’t know what to say.”

I patted his hand again since it seemed to make him feel better. “Then don’t say anything. Bad things happen. Sometimes we deserve them and sometimes we don’t. It’s up to us what we take away from it either way.”

“Is that something your father taught you?” Cor asked.

“No. That’s something Gran would say when something bad would happen to a woman of our acquaintance.”

“How can you even … even … I mean … I swear you must hate me.”

Too tired to figure out the logic of that I looked at him and said, “Don’t be stupid. You haven’t given me any reason to hate you. Now can I sleep?”

I groaned when he ignored my question with one of his own. “Haven’t … ?! I dragged you into this … this sham marriage. You’re caught … stuck …”

“Cor, you didn’t drag me into this … your council did and if not them then those Lathrops did. Even then I don’t think I can hate some of the individuals I’ve met. I don’t care for Muriel but I don’t hate her. Hazel … her I could probably live with if I had to; she can be as rough as an old corn cob but she’s honest. Your aunt and uncle are on the council and … and I’m pretty sure I don’t hate them … don’t know them Mona and her husband really but they aren’t bad people from what I can tell. Mona is all right anyway even though she just thinks she knows what’s best for folks; but, the Captain says that this situation has poked holes in that and now she is as touchy about it as Winnie is. I sure don’t hate the Captain – or Winnie – and he’s the one that brought me here. I guess I don’t even hate that Elder Lathrop; he creeps me out but I don’t hate him for it. He seems like he could be nice if I could get passed the lifestyle choice he’s made.”

He still had a confused look on his face so I tried to put it another way. “Cor, I don’t even hate the Headman and he’s the one that did most of the stuff you saw … or ordered it done which is the same thing as him doing it. Hating is just a waste of energy and when you are trying to survive wasting energy isn’t a good thing … it’ll get you killed just as fast as any other mistake. Your Da wasn’t a particularly nice man and you don’t hate him do you?”

He got real still and his face became shuttered. Quietly he said, “I … don’t know. Depends on what day you ask me. He’s messed up my life so badly.”

Pretty sure I was seeing a side of Cor he didn’t share with too many folks I treated it with the respect he’d offered me by sharing it. But I wasn’t going to just let him go on wasting energy either. “Your life is only as messed up as you let it be. You’ve got struggles sure and … and I admire you for not just throwing up your hands and walking away from it all. It took me a little while to see it but you really do care about folks, you’re just not sure you can trust them with you caring about them.” He gave me a look that told me he wasn’t sure he liked someone seeing that part of it. “It’s all right you know. Just because some of ‘em realize you don’t have all the answers doesn’t mean you aren’t still important to them and that they aren’t wanting you to make a success of it as much for yourself as for them.”

Quietly he asked, “How do you know that?”

“The way they talk about it and you. They know your Da didn’t give you a good foundation but they see you trying to build one for yourself. And trying to shore up the one they live on too.” Choosing my words carefully I said, “Your Da made mistakes … sounds like he made a lot of them. It is a good thing you are trying to fix the ones that you can … but you gotta stop letting the ones you can’t fix eat you up. Cor, you Da’s gone and not gonna say he’s sorry for being such a donkey’s behind. I don’t know had he lived if he ever would have. I’m not sitting around waiting for the Headman to say he is sorry for what he’s done to me … it’s water under the bridge that no one can take back. And I’m not gonna let him destroy what future I can pull together either by worrying on him for the rest of my life. He’s gone, out of it. If being blood related to me didn’t matter to him then I’m not gonna let it matter to me and make it out to be more than it was.”

It took a moment for it to sink in. “Wait. You were related to the man who did this to you?”

“He was my Gramp’s nephew. Used to come around the house all the time. He used to be a nice man too as far as them men of my town went; he wasn’t fond of women but he wasn’t mean to them either back then. Only something changed him … power, the desire for power, maybe he got kicked in the head by a mule, who knows and I surely don’t care anymore. Used to ick me out when he wanted to … I mean the laws don’t forbid cousins from making babies but still … Gramp raised him like a son, like a brother for my Ma; I used to think of him as an uncle the same as Daphne does. That he … well, never mind about that. He chose his path and I chose mine. And now I’m here and he’s there.”

“But you have to live with what he’s done.”

“Well sure … but I gotta live with the fact that there are some nice things that he did at some points too. When Gramp died sudden from a sickness in his guts he was right there helping to dig the grave even though it was winter and the ground was almost froze. When Gran’s bones got to hurting really bad, he went and got some powerful medicine from the Lakesider shaman even though we were in a feud with them; that took courage or craziness, still don’t know which. When I went half crazy after them Lakesiders killed my family and I killed them right back, he wouldn’t let the man that was headman back then chopped my head off for being insane. He carried me to the long house himself and told the girls that was already there to get me washed up and keep an eye on me til I come back to myself. People are strange Cor. They aren’t all evil any more than they are all good; I know sometimes it seems that way but it’s not even though you might have to go back a ways to find something good an evil person did. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone does good turns even if they don’t necessarily mean to. I reckon I’ve done enough bad things in this life, whether I did them meaning to or not, that I’ve got my own problems to deal with come Judgment Day. Gramp always said, and my Da said it too just using different words, that we don’t forgive people so much for their sake as for our own. We keep dragging around on our hearts all the bad things that people have done and we’re eventually gonna get to a place where our hearts are so heavy they just give out. Haven’t you ever felt that when you hold a grudge it hurts you more than the person you’re angry at?”

He nodded so I let it sink in. Eventually he said, “My father used to … to talk to me when he wouldn’t talk to anyone else. Most of what he said didn’t make any sense to me at the time and some of it still doesn’t but it was still to me he said those things. And he’d build things for me to play with out of bits and pieces of broken tech; crazy stuff like a wind up dog that walked all on its own … or a catapult that really worked. And he took me on runs even when people said I was too young and … and he taught me about bartering and how to get a good deal and what to watch out for, that people lied or made what they had to be more than what it was. And he taught me how to deal with being disappointed … in deals that go bad and in people that … that …”

He fell silent. After a few minutes he stood up and leaned over the bed and pulled the covers over me. “You warm enough without the bear skin?”

I wasn’t going to say anything about him changing the subject. I figured people can only deal with stuff so much at a time; I know that is how it is for me. “Fire make this place any warmer and we’re gonna feel like we’re in a sweat lodge.”

“Get some sleep Fel. You need to get well. The boys are about to drive everyone to distraction.”

“Then give them something to do to keep them out of trouble. Hard work never hurt no body,” I said yawning.

“They’re just boys and winter can be a dangerous time to be out working.”

I snorted and woundd up sneezing before saying, “And they’re gonna be men before you know it. Wouldn’t it be a lovely thing for them to know what that means before they get there and have to figure it out on their own? I can give ‘em a taste of what it means to be a man but I’m female … they need real men to show ‘em what being a real man means. Who taught you?”

I didn’t really hear what he said but I think he got the idea … and it seemed to give him something to think about besides the mistakes of the past.